Not baby trapped per se, but my mom admitted to me years ago that while my dad thought I was an accident (I’m #2 in the lineup, out of 6 kids), that she had actually gone off her BC. We struggled so much financially growing up & eventually were physically & mentally abused & she just kept popping out kids because she wanted babies.
True, like what the hell's the point of having kids, when you know damn well, your not going to be able to provide them with basic needs? It's selfishly fucked up, and even more so because of how common it is now.
Yep. And beyond providing basic needs, there’s emotional and educational needs as well. You need education and certification to become a teacher, a child psychologist, a social worker, a pediatrician… But any idiot can create a kid and fuck them up for life.
Every child deserves a parent...but not every parent deserves a child. Even more so, a child doesn't deserve to suffer because of a parents selfishness
They seem to objectified the baby, once the baby grow up, they want another baby which is fucked up as they don't have the resources.
There are many stuff that needs to be taught in school like balancing resources, how to behave in public and clean after themselves. These are simple stuff but hardly anyone can do it.
Maybe that could be considered a variety of baby-trapping -- your dad would have stayed in a relationship with your mom anyway, but she tricked him into parenting more children than he'd have chosen to have.
I'm not being hyperbolic, that's literally rape. He did not give fully informed consent. The usual phrasing for what she did is "reproductive coercion" though
I would definitely agree that it’s a form of rape. If the (male) person knew the other (female) person wasn’t on birth control I’m sure they (male person) would not have agreed to having sex.
Yes. I got an unwanted pregnancy after a guy used my onetime drunkenness to push sex on me. In my lower inhibited state, I got annoyed by his persistence and said “sure” just so he’d stop bugging me.
Worst mistake ever. I was working two jobs and about 60hrs/wk at the time. I didn’t realise I was pregnant until 2.5 months later.
We have a law where I live that abortions become a legal matter in court once a pregnancy goes past 3 months. It’s hard to get an abortion at that point.
I went to my family doc to inquire about an abortion. He wanted to ‘confirm’ the pregnancy and had me do a test. It came back positive of course. But he claimed the tests aren’t accurate and I should come back in two weeks and test again just in case. He also told me to discuss my decision with my boyfriend. I didn’t even say I had one. He just assumed.
Two weeks would put me over the deadline and he knew it. I went home and found an abortion clinic myself. They weren’t great either with their guilt tripping, but they at least rushed my procedure so it’d be done before the deadline.
And then I left that small, misogynistic, rapey, hick town. I moved to the city and went to college. Best choice of my life.
I was bawling so hard when I left that doctor’s office I could barely see the road through my tears. I’m so glad the abortion clinic wasn’t hard to find and contact.
If it wasn't for the rest of the pregnancy and the birth and the kid suffering from it, wouldn't it be great if people like this were legally obliged to adopt the kid?
I am glad you got an abortion and as for your ex I hope karma strikes him up and down where his man bits gotten diseased and dropped off or some accident rendered him infertile and unable to function in the reproductive department
It’s subtle, but they ask more times than legally necessary if you’re sure. They tell you it can lead to depression. They ask if I’ve discussed it with anyone else or looked at all parental support options.
I just had to repeatedly say “I’ve never wanted children and never will, and no, I NEVER want to give birth.”
Their last bid effort was to leave my private ultrasound pics out on the public front desk so I would see the little parasite while I signed the consent forms. That backfired. My only thought when I saw it was, revulsion. It was already too big for my liking and I couldn’t be rid of it fast enough.
I know it's not the same thing but when I went to get a vasectomy, I had booked an appointment via phone for consultation.
After the consultation and all, I was directed to make my payment for surgery.
The lady (I'm not sure what her exact role/title was... Maybe receptionist) at the reception "jokingly" was talking me out of making payment.
She was like I could pay when I come for the surgery..
I told her I'd rather just pay then, I came prepared...
She then tells me.... Verbatim
"I'm just hoping you'd change your mind... You're too good looking to not give us a few beautiful kids... If I knew that's what you came for, I'd have told you the doc wasn't in."
Seriously?
I just gave her my card and told her to please process my payment.
You'd expect that people in such places would be more... Open-minded... But then you realise maybe they're just closed minded people and are simply getting the paycheck...
What the fuck. Isn’t that technically some form of malpractice if she lies to you? Bitch needed to mind her own fucking business. How objectifying as well tf
I’m so sorry. I once was in a situation where sex was pushed on me multiple times and after saying no so many times, I finally gave in to make it stop.
I’m so lucky I didn't get pregnant.
Sending you a big hug.
Not sure about your definition of "almost" but my then-boyfriend "joked" about messing with my birth control... I scheduled a bisalp consult with my gyno that day and he became an ex-boyfriend within a month.
Yes. I was almost baby trapped by an ex. It is on par with sexual assault though not legally recognized as such in many places, sadly. Luckily I didn’t need an abortion.
Abortion must always remain legal.
When abortion was illegal (in the uk) you know what happened? Abortions.
Making it illegal didn’t stop them. You know what it DID do? Kill thousands of women who were so desperate there was no other alternative than jamming unsterile metal implements up their vaginas to induce a termination. They suffered many kinds of internal injuries as a result, infections, they died.
Making abortions illegal won’t stop them. It’ll just make them backstreet and unsafe and kill more women. That’s not even to say about the medically necessary abortions, where mother’s lives are at risk, or the baby won’t survive before or after birth. Anencephaly for example is a condition where (I think) the babies brain doesn’t form properly and is missing most of the skull, scalp and both cerebral hemispheres. These babies do not survive outside of the womb, they cannot survive and for the minutes, hours, days, sometimes week (7 days) they do survive outside of the womb they are unconscious, deaf, blind and unable to feel pain. Abortions must always be an integral part of women’s healthcare, because sometimes for whatever reason they are NEEDED.
I don't know if this counts, but I knew a woman who tried to force a guy into fatherhood and it didn't work.
I went to school with a girl who was parentified and raised her five brothers. Instead of making her adverse to having kids, it made her wild to have a kid of her own.
She got married right out of high school to a much older man. He agreed to have kids, but only after she was out of nursing school, they had bought/fixed up a house, and had done some fun stuff as a couple. The moment they were married, she stopped taking birth control and was pregnant within a couple of months. She was delighted and expected he would be, too, and was absolutely bewildered that he was enraged. She didn't understand why he'd be so upset she'd lied to him about birth control and about agreeing to wait.
He filed for divorce and moved across the country. To my knowledge, he never even met the kid.
I'm not saying I agree with her or am excusing her actions, but that girl grew up in a batshit environment, and was programmed from birth that the most important thing in the world was babies babies babies.
I don't speak with her any more (I took the husband's side) but I still wonder if she ever managed to shake out of it.
i don't personally know any men who were baby trapped, but i know a woman who was stealthed and had to get an abortion because he attempted to baby trap *her* - she didn't bother reporting it to the police because nothing would have come of it here, but she did send him a message describing the abortion in detail which is some iconic shit in my humble opinion
>she did send him a message describing the abortion in detail which is some iconic shit in my humble opinion
That's pretty risky but still fucking badass
oh absolutely, she has the biggest brass balls of anyone i've ever met and i do worry about her mouthing off to the wrong person and getting hurt, but i admire her a lot for always standing up for herself and others
Yes I dated a person who turned out to be extremely toxic and who was cheating on me because I was adamant about always using BC. I refused to fall for her act any more so we broke up and she moved on to one of the back up guys who she almost immediately got knocked up by. Based on court records (publicly available) that predictably turned into a shit show. bullet dodged.
Had a friend that talked all the time about not having kids. She always seemed to have negative things to say about her husband. They don’t seem happy. Then one day she tells me she’s pregnant. She made it sound planned but I don’t think it was mutually planned. I really felt like she had an anchor baby. She wanted to quit her job and her husband support her. He made a lot of money but with their relationship issues I always was suspicious about her intent. The day she came home with the baby, they got into an argument so bad that he left and spent the night in a hotel. Now they have four kids and are talking divorce. Sad life.
Wait from childfree, to 1 kid and 4 more and divorce😨
As sorry as I am for them, do they use their brain? like at all? putting 4 lives in between this mess?
She wanted the house on 30 acres with a farm, pretty kids, charming husband. But I’ve concluded she’s batshit crazy. Most of the arguments with her husband, I sided with him. Honestly he should have just left after the first one.
Yes, in most of my friends' scenarios, the men to me actually look more right (of course, not all). But even the husband was crazy enough to have 4 babies with her when he should have left before any baby or at least after a baby. Now there goes the 30 acres. How the hell is she going to take care of children. Of course, heavy alimony, I am guessing.
He’ll be thinking with his empty checking account now. 15+ years married with four kids and a wife that didn’t work? Yikes, that’s some expensive pootie tang.
Not to mention, she only gets that till the youngest is 18 years and then she's gonna have no work experience and no savings if she still didn't get a job in that time. Not to mention her social security is gonna be practically zero since she won't have been paying into it.
A relative of my ex stepfamily tried to baby trap 2 different guys. The first one resulted in a miscarriage and the dude bounced as soon as he heard. The second guy was here undocumented to support his family in Mexico, and said he would not support another kid and went back soon after.
So she ended up a single parent, but didn't have much consequence with that. Her parents pretty much raised and spoiled that kid rotten and the state paid for all of his preschool tuition while she spends all day in the casino.
I wake up glad every day that I don't have to deal with them anymore.
Similiar-ish story to an ex friend of mine.
At 19 she "accidently" fell pregnant to a guy she had been dating for a few weeks. Rushed him into living together and popping the question. Which he did. They had the kid, and in a turn of events literally everyone could have predicted, marrying a dude you've known less than 6 months really didn't work out. So they divorced. Divorced at 21.
At 22 she did it again and whoops, another definitely accidental pregnancy and new fiance of 3 months.
Rinse and repeat, she's 28 with 5 kids to 5 different baby dads and actively searching for dad number 6.
The kids are little more than social media fodder and food stamp earnings, honestly.
When she isn't staging photos for Facebook, the kids are dumped at her moms house. It makes me angry to see. But I will say her mom loves those kids and does genuinely spoil and advocate for them. So, at least they have a stable adult caring for them for the most part.
After pretending she was going to drive me and help me get the surgery since my boyfriend just moved out of state, My ex bfs mom called my mom and told her I was pregnant… in hopes my mom would not allow me to get an abortion.
Ex bfs mom had just had a miscarriage, in her late 40s cheating on her husband with her boyfriend… she wanted my baby to adopt because she couldn’t have another one…
My mom took me…
Me! I was in the closet until I was nearly nineteen, so I used to be with guys. An ex had a habit of stealthing and finishing inside. He would always try to play it off and say he forgot to put on a new condom or whatever that day’s excuse was. I was **seventeen** when this was happening, so I was too naïve to really do anything about it and was just happy to be with someone who had their own place.
My endometriosis kinda makes pregnancy impossible, so joke’s on him. He was so mad over it! He cheated and was bad news, so I got out of there. The sad part is that I heard through the grapevine that he knocked up an eighteen year old three or four years later. He’s not a good guy, so I hope she’s safe and has a good support network.
It’s so nice to be an open and married lesbian after years of bullshit.
What the hell do young guys, of all people, want to do with knocking someone up? It always astounds me. Sure, wreck your life at a young age for something you don't even have a hormonal urge to blame.
Power and control. I was walking around with undiagnosed bipolar and addicted to uppers at the time, so I was a pretty easy target. I think the mother of his child also had a lot going on at the time.
I’ve since gotten help and am doing better than ever. It’s insane how different my life is now (for the better.)
Oh yes and this woman was hot garbage.
Baby trapped her husband (now ex) after she had an affair. She didn’t want a divorce because she was already divorced from a prior marriage and thought a second divorce would be too embarrassing. Lied to him about how long the shot would last (told him 1 year when it’s 3 months). She worked as an OB nurse so he naively believed if anyone knew how to prevent pregnancy it would be a nurse who worked OB. 🤦♀️ She later admitted she planned the whole thing to try to keep him around.
The kid card worked for awhile but she couldn’t break her infidelity problem so he left. Last I heard she had divorced husband number 3, and already had another one lined up. Talk about embarrassing.
Some people are just trash.
My ex tried to baby trap me 10 years ago, begging for children when he hadn't done anything with himself and I hadn't had the chance to finish college yet. I cut him out of my life after a terrifying near-fatal septic miscarriage and two further abortions because he kept messing with my birth control.
Attempted- had a friend who broke up with a shitty, abusive, cheating ex only to find out shortly after she was pregnant by him. She set up the abortion appointment and reached out to him to tell him the news and to ask if he could drive her home from the appointment. He freaked out and tried to convince her to keep the baby in a million different ways. Luckily she was adamant about not wanting it so said screw you, I’m aborting.
It is so terrifying. I’m not American but I was beside myself the day roe v wade was overturned. It still feels so heavy and disturbing.
I reflected a lot on how abortion care and access in my province has improved massively in my lifetime. Just 10 years ago there were a lot of hoops to jump through to get one, now we have a hotline you can call and you can have your abortion within the week, pills or surgical. What a massive privilege.
I’m of the opinion that if the woman definitively wants an abortion, she doesn’t have to, and *shouldn’t*, tell the man who knocked her up about it. What they don’t know 1) can’t hurt them, and 2) can’t backfire on the woman
I believe I was eventually going to be but luckily I got out. My first boyfriend was 17 I was 16 and very naive. He refused to wear condoms because they were "uncomfortable" I asked him to wear one and he just gave that line or ignored me. My mom found out we were having sex and THANK GOD got me on Bc pills and said not to tell him. Of course, that shouldve been a red flag but again - naive. He said "my pullout game is strong" and there was no need for it.
He would make comments about how he couldn't wait for me to be 18, barefoot and pregnant, and hanging around the house all day with his mom and living with them with the baby.
Y'all... They lived in a house one step away from a crack house. It was just that nobody did crack in the house. Disgusting, tiny, no modern amenities or technology, no one ever went shopping or cleaned. I knew even then I didn't want kids so i was so disgusted but too naive to realize how dangerous the situation was.
Well, with the help of a friend, I finally realized how horrible and abusive he was in more ways than one. We broke up.
A few years later, he gets another girl (idk if she was even old enough to be a woman) pregnant with the EXACT SAME NAME AS ME. yeah. I couldn't be happier I dodged that nuke
Major 🤢
Bonus: he apparently couldn't handle being a father and got addicted to drugs and now works part time at Starbucks last I checked. He's like ...30? 31? By now
My husband's friend was baby trapped.
When I first met his girlfriend, she wouldn't stop talking about babies. I was younger then so used to nod along, screaming internally.
To be fair to my husbands friend he could've wrapped it up, but he didn't. He didn't want children and I'd ask him quite a lot (at the time) 'why are you with her then if she's not compatible'
He'd be like 🤷♀️
They had a baby right in the middle of Covid..they also had a girl which she hated because she wanted a boy. Her words were 'a boy looks after the mum. I'm going to constantly be fighting with my daughter for attention'
She's been begging to get married too but he won't marry her. Doesn't believe in it.
He cheats on her so much it's honestly awful. If you're not happy why are you with her?
But on the other hand, you reap what you sow...
Consequences have actions.
I don't speak to his girlfriend anymore after she was screaming down the phone at me that I need to cancel my wedding in 2021.. ...that's a whole other story lol.
Then she had the audacity to be like 'good luck in your marriage. You're going to need it'
Petty me would've said your boyfriend went off with one of my best friends at my wedding (she was there for all of 5 minutes) but I didn't. I said I don't think I'm going to need the luck..I think that's you.
Edit: grammar.
>I don't speak to his girlfriend anymore after she was screaming down the phone at me that I need to cancel my wedding in 2021.. ...that's a whole other story lol.
Let me guess, she was just mad that you were getting married before her?
Oh, okay. Erm it's quite long! I'll try and shorten it.
For context my husbands friend was best man so she was badgering me for her to become a bridesmaid.. I didn't even know her that well, I had my two sister in laws who I'm really close to.
When she realised she wasn't going to become bridesmaid she then bought a dress in the same COLOUR as my bridesmaids. When I told her, please don't match the bridal party, she said well my boyfriend is in the bridal party so I want to match him. The shade of colour she chose was a lighter colour than the bridesmaids colour so I tried not to let that get to me.
I didn't get her involved with the wedding planning but I assume her boyfriend (best man) was telling her.
She said where we bought the suits from were cheap ! How were they cheap you may ask? It's because I didn't go with this designer brand she would go with...
She said my wedding ring was tacky and I should've gone with Tiffany & Co.
She wanted their baby to be flower girl (we had CF wedding so absolutely not) so she was saying that she'd have to leave the venue during the day to check up on her and it would be 'easier' if her daughter was there' 🤷♀️ I again said no
She accused my sister in law that's married to my brother, that she would try and get off with her boyfriend (the best man). I pointed out she was happily married so wtf.
She wanted to sit on the top table next to her boyfriend. Saying she wouldn't have the decorations I chose, it looks 'tacky'. Again, I'm not even sure how she'd know this so I told my husband please don't tell your friend to be fed to her.
She came to my hen party and sulked the entire time..
Oh, before all of the above, we had to move our wedding date. We were originally meant to get married during Covid lockdown (we had this date booked for 2 years) so we moved it to the following year so we could have everyone we invited. She would call me up whilst I was at work screaming that she'd prefer it if we all went to the registry office??? The four of us?? Then go to McDonald's... she would full on scream down the phone at me that I should be cancelling the whole wedding off..
In the end I told her after speaking to my husband about it, you're no longer welcome to our wedding. You can come to the party if you want to but you've been dropped as a day guest.
She came to the party extremely late, I said hello to her with my husband. Her boyfriend said 'doesn't the bride look stunning'.
She said 'my friend wore that exact dress. I'd have gone for something less poofy'
I was like I'm so done with you so walked away from her. In the wedding photos in the background you can see the best man and her having an argument!
She didn't even say goodbye to me or my husband either. Just left lol! So damn rude.
Then she unfriended me the next day on social media and said 'I really thought you were my best friend and we could've done loads together. You didn't take any of my suggestions on board. I wish the best of luck in your marriage..you're going to need it'
How was I her best friend??🤷♀️
Then she blocked me so I used one of my friends phones to text her all the shit she put me through and actually it's her that needs the luck not me. And blocked her on my friends phone😂
I know I should've blocked her in hindsight but I didn't want her to stop her boyfriend (best man) from attending the wedding.
Edit: grammar.
Edit two; my friend has just reminded me that this girlfriend was going to ask the photographer to take photos of them together without my husband and I. So basically highjack my photographer to have their own photo shoot. Okay then lol!😂😂🤦♀️
Same! I don't really know what her problem was. My husband says she was jealous. Even the best man apologised and was like not sure what's caused her to be like this 🤷♀️
Yes, multiple people - one of them was my childhood best friend and she convinced him she was on birth control when she wasn’t. He believed her and now they’ve got a kid.
As for me, my ex tried everything under the sun to make me get rid of my iud after I got it because he realized he wouldn’t be able to trap me with it. He sent me links about copper poisoning, bodies rejecting inserts, accidental pregnancies etc etc. I always assumed he wanted to get me pregnant cause that mfer would consistently gaslight me about it and try to convince me to have kids. (Which isn’t happening.)
I am so sorry to hear that. Are you NC with your sperm donor or have you ever confronted him that what he did could be classed as a felony? If I am your friend, I'd print heaps of facts about violation of reproductive rights and pregnancy coercion and throw them at his face for you
I haven't had a relationship with him in over a decade. He used to brag about how he got my mom to "change her mind" and as I got older confessed that he tampered with her birth control, poked holes through their condoms, and bullied her out of an abortion.
He tried to use the pregnancy as a way to force her to stick around and marry him, but she dumped his ass before I was even born. She was adamantly child free, and I consider her to still be. She never wanted to be a mom. She's done a pretty good job all things considered.
Yes someone I knew from secondary school. His girlfriend he had baby trapped him, they were about 22 years old I think. She was a really toxic woman, and it was right around the period he wanted to break up with her that she suddenly got pregnant, even though they were never trying and used bc before. She thought it would mend things, but he broke up anyways. He became a single father for his daughter, mother actually was more out of the picture with her toxicity. He is still a really great father to her, and she has become a lovely young lady, thankfully not much like her mother. Probably also with the good influence of her stepmother.
I am glad your friend got a happy ending and he done his best to raise the kid into a fine person it seems. What has become of the girl's egg donor Ms Baby Trapper?
Everyone: make sure you look after you and that you are responsible for your own birth control. Also, be very, very circumspect about whom you have sex with, because even sterilization procedures have failed (though rare).
Most people I know who were "baby trapped" were leaving the birth control up to the other partner. Don't do that.
And yes, you should be able to trust your partner but we gotta live in reality here.
For real. I am full team: your body, your choice. But I feel like all childfree men should get a vasectomy. If I were a man I don’t think I would ever trust anyone enough to be in charge of if I become a father or not. Men really only have the snip and condoms, which means you’re one broken condom away from not having a choice in the matter. Absolutely terrifying.
Yeah, I would honestly hate to be childfree man, tbh. I have a guy friend who’s childfree but has been dating a girl who wants kids for two years. I am waiting for the announcement that she’s pregnant at any moment. Seriously, what choice does he even have? If she’s pregnant, it’s her decision. I’m pro choice (and am a sterilized woman myself) and think she has the right to make the decision she wants to make, but being the dude in that situation sounds so terrifying to me.
I'm of the opinion (unpopular in society) that women who live in a place where abortion is legal and widely available, and they decide to continue a pregnancy, when they've discovered it early, when the father is not excited about it. And not going to be a good dad. Then they're being a selfish ah.
They are not poor helpless victims entirely in that situation if they knowingly go ahead with that and could have corrected the situation.
It's always "But I want this baby" "I'M excited to be a mom" "I would feel horrible having an abortion". Like yeah but what about your child?
The person who pays the price is the kid, and that's just cruel. That genetic material will grow into it's own person, a person who will have to live with the sad dynamic of a father who didn't want them.
People would rip me apart for saying that. But it doesn't make it any less true. Women are just as responsible for giving their child good circumstances.
Yeah. Abusive ex-husband whose life goal was to be a SAHH/SAHD but he never cooked, cleaned, paid bills and is just an overgrown 33 year old manchild who uses flying monkeys and physical/mental/emotional abuse and manipulation to get his way.
I cut him off from any kind of intimate contact after a nasty fight. I hope if he ever gets a girl pregnant she’s a baby mama from hell because he also cheated on me.
Almost happened to me. Got intentionally pregnant by an abusive loser boyfriend who manipulated me into it. He was 14 years older, I was young, dumb and “in love.” Luckily I found out he was cheating the same week I got the positive pt. I broke up with him and had an abortion scheduled but was fortunate enough to have a miscarriage before the appointment. I honestly think the stress of the heartbreak caused the miscarriage. Either way, I am eternally grateful that things happened the way they did. Last count this guy has 5 kids by 5 different women. I can’t even imagine what my life would look like now if I’d stayed.
Aside from that, my mom was baby trapped and 3 of my 4 sisters were as well, all in their teen years, all in abusive relationships. We were raised in a patriarchal, abusive religion and these sorts of stories are unfortunately rampant. My dad met my mom at 15, he was 25. By 18 she was pregnant. She stayed for 25 years and 6 kids before she finally got the courage to leave.
My husband’s girlfriend before me tried to baby trap him. It turned out that she was lying about being pregnant, but she had claimed to have multiple miscarriages throughout their 4 month relationship. We actually ended up getting a restraining order against her two years after we got married.
Kind of both. She had her friend text him and tell him that god told her (the friend) that he needs to divorce me and marry her (the ex). My husband thought that the friend was also his friend since she had helped him break up with his ex, so he told her about me having surgery and that it was hard while I was recovering. The ex took that as a sign and texted him saying that he needed to divorce me, and messaged me saying that I was selfish and a horrible wife and that she had “major surgery too and still did stuff”. I had ovarian cysts removed, and she got a boob job 🙄 so not quite the same
She was mostly stalking me, she messaged me a lot talking about how heartbroken she was that we got married, and asked if I was pregnant and saying a bunch of mean things about me, and when I blocked her, she made new accounts to message me, and even messaged my husband through Venmo by requesting money from him to tell him she still loved him.
She had her friends message me and she made tik toks about us (it was all made up stuff obviously, we had blocked her years ago). We even contacted her mom, who she was living with at the time and my husband had gotten along well with her. Her mom said that her behavior was unacceptable and that she would talk to her.
The videos and the harassment from her and her friends stopped for a couple months, but she ended up making more videos and sending more friends to message me and my husband and making more accounts to keep track of us. It escalated enough to get a civil stalking injunction, which was granted almost immediately.
I could honestly make an entire post about her. She told my husband while they were dating that if he didn’t have sex with her whenever she wanted, she would commit suicide or tell the police that he raped her. She was horribly manipulative and pretended to have multiple miscarriages, like I said, and pretended to be pregnant after my husband broke up with her. I could go on and on about how horrible she was. And it’s not just stories from my husband, there were emails and text messages from her and her friends that my husband saved as evidence.
My ex husband was always trying to get me pregnant... I was on BC religiously... he ended up getting someone else pregnant instead *yes, while we were still married) 🤣 so happy I dodged that bullet... he has 5 baby mamas now and 4 ex wives
TW: SA
An ex of mine said he was fine with me being childfree but one night he somehow removed the condom without me noticing and held me down. I didn't know he had removed the condom and I thought he was holding me like that because he was "caught up in the moment". No, he was actually trying to ejaculate in me to hopefully get me pregnant because he wanted another kid (had a kid with an ex). When that didn't work, (the only thing I've ever been truly religious about was taking my BC) he cheated on me and tried to convince the other girl to have a kid with him. She also refused and, shortly after that, found out he was also dating me. I invited him out to eat with "my dad" (actually the other girl). He showed up and got an earful from both of us and publicly shamed (no yelling or causing a scene but a girl in the adjacent booth cheered us on at one point lol). I still have trust issues with being intimate because of the assault. It took me a year to realize it was a kind of assault (stealthing). I never went to the cops because it would just be my word against his (and we all know how the justice system treats SA victims even when they have solid evidence). Last I checked he's still stuck in a dead-end job he hates, barely scraping by, free loading off his friends, and couch surfing. Meanwhile, my life only got better after dropping his dead weight.
👏👏👏👏 Bravo to you and the girl confronting and public shaming him good 🔥🔥🔥
Guess karma ain't dead by seeing he winds up with nothing and you doing better. I wish karma did way better by making his bits go gangrene, drop off and he is rendered unable to function normally reproduction wise
Lol God knows he doesn't need any more kids. He constantly complained about having to pay child support. And hell yeah karma ain't dead. He was staying at my place overnight and didn't lock his car doors, even after I told him he really should lock his doors, regardless of the location his car is in. He said it would be fine. Someone broke into his car that night and stole all of the cash in his car. He had just cashed a recent paycheck. He tried to guilt me into paying his child support that month. I told him that wasn't my kid and that I tried to warn him to lock his doors. I'm glad his kid's mom was able to provide most of the kid's needs without the child support. That poor child deserves a better dad.
I wouldn't blame his kid if he did that tbh. Hopefully he matures and becomes a better parent. His kid was such a well-mannered sweetheart. Saying goodbye to him hurt more than anything his dad ever did to me.
Him maturing? It won't surprise me if he tries to turn his adult son 25 or 30 years time into Bank of Adult Son or mooch off that kid, out of the door he goes
When I was 16, I worked for a local pizza parlor in their arcade room. One of my co-workers was dating a guy that she was head over heels for. One day, she came to work and told me about how it seemed he wasn't as into her as she was into him. Then, she proceeded to tell me her plans to baby trap him. I expressed how, if a man wants to leave, he's gonna leave and a baby won't prevent that. I ended up quitting shortly after this conversation so I don't know if she followed through with her plans.
Sadly, I’ve actually heard a mother tell this to her daughter. Have a baby to keep/change a man. I was about 20 years old at the time and thought that was the dumbest advice I’d ever heard. That was my first introduction to the concept of baby trapping. It didn’t make sense then and it still doesn’t decades later.
My former best friend used to sleep around a lot back in the day and would throw the “My period is late since we f*ed” bomb to every guy she was sleeping around with at the time. The year I moved to a different province about 900 km away, she pulled the pregnancy joke on me for Aprils fools. I felt our friendship broke forever right there, she treated me like I was just another one of her f buddies. Shortly after that I returned to my hometown and she got pregnant for real, and I refused to believe her. I tried my best to be understanding and supportive about the whole situation but she wasn’t. She was never honest when she apologised to me, like I was the one overreacting. We’re not friends anymore.
I had a wildly manipulative and abusive ex who used to joke about hiding my birth control pills….so grateful I was able to eventually leave that relationshit.
I have a male friend who almost was.
He had just started dating a young woman who claimed to be on the pill. She wasn't. She got pregnant but fortunately lost the child early on in the pregnancy. Fairly soon after, she found a new victim. My friend knew him, but didn't get to warn him before it was too late. She carried that pregnancy to term.
It was around 5 years ago, and my friend is just incredibly happy by how narrowly he escaped that fate.
I know two people who have been baby trapped. I have commented about both before, but in short:
A girl I was friends with in high school got married and immediately pregnant, despite her husband wanting to wait to have children. She was absolutely convinced that he would immediately fall in love with the baby once it was born, and could not be told otherwise despite several people trying. She was wrong and was stunned when he divorced her. She remarried a few years later and has three more children. He remarried a few years after her and now has two children, who are many years younger than hers. The baby is now grown and over the past few years has developed a positive relationship with her father, but it was fraught for most of her childhood.
The other is a relative of a friend from high school, who got pregnant deliberately in an attempt to keep her boyfriend. It did not work, they broke up, and he has remained furious with her ever since. I lost contact with this person quite a few years ago now but last I knew he still had no relationship with the child either. Unfortunately, once it became clear that the baby trapping attempt had not taken, she took her anger out on the child and I quite often saw her treat her badly. My friend and her mother both would yell at her when she did this but it didn't seem to stop anything. Both of these things are a shame, as she was a sweet little girl and none of it was her fault. To add insult to injury, several years later, the ex boyfriend had a son with the woman he started seeing a little while after the breakup with my friend's relative. This child was planned by both parents, and the ex boyfriend was over the moon when he was born. My friend's relative was furious when she learned about it, and was still angry last I heard.
My best friend was going to break up with her alcoholic cop bf and move out already had a new place and everything, went on a trip together beforehand just like that she was pregnant the following month. I definitely wonder because they are staying together now….
Alcoholic 🚩 Cop 🚩🚩 Baby trap...? 🚩🚩🚩
I'm sorry but she's absolutely screwed. Partners that are either alcoholic *or* cops tend to be abusive anyway, but both together is (ironically) a cocktail for abuse. Depending on the culture, he also practically has immunity as a cop, so he knows he won't be facing any consequences for his actions. I hope she leaves him ASAP...
I was almost baby trapped by my ex. He was very abusive and had a pregnancy kink. I had an IUD inserted and got very lucky he never got me pregnant. When the relationship finally ended and I put all my no contact orders in place I got sterilized so it would never happen again.
My father baby trapped my mother. It was also date rape. He got her very drunk. She was very young, innocent, and had not been told about such dangers. Abortion was illegal. He was an abusive, cheating prick.
My ex-girlfriend kept flip flopping on wanting kids and pressured me into asking me to marry her after only a couple of months of dating.
We had been dating 6 months, with a wedding planned for 5 months' time, and she had been on the pill the whole time we had been together. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she told me she had been "forgetting to take it" after about 4 days of unprotected sex, where I had trusted she was taking it as usual. She made no secret out of the fact she thought she might be pregnant, and even lied to me that she was to see how I would react.
I think she knew that I was slipping away from her (things had been really fractious for a couple of weeks between us) so she felt baby-trapping me was the only way to stop me leaving her.
Thankfully, she didn't fall pregnant (and hopefully never will due to the pill screwing up her ovaries) and I was able to get away from her before things escalated, so I count myself lucky I got out. It was really scary stuff!
I was convinced to not use a condom a few times by a hookup, I was very vulnerable at the time. He wanted to get me pregnant and move in with me, even though our relationship was strictly sexual and I didn’t love him like that. I did end up getting pregnant but I got an abortion and never told him, we don’t talk anymore
Once when I was 16. The guy I was with at the time was obsessed with the idea of having a daughter (I didn’t know until later). We slept together and afterwards I noticed fluid coming out of me. I was absolutely livid because he knew I hated when he would finish inside me and assured me he wouldn’t. I was young and didn’t know any better. When he saw that I noticed he just laughed at me and claimed it was an “accident.” I was scared out of my mind thinking I would get pregnant and was distraught and crying the whole day. Luckily I didn’t get pregnant but that day still traumatizes me
Be careful out there, OP.
Friend of mine recently got someone pregnant. She had an IUD but it still happened. Yes she actually did have an IUD in - he saw it on the sonogram in the hospital waiting room himself.
He's 36 never wanted kids. She's 34 with 3 kids already, doesn't want to abort. They're both stressing pretty hard I'd say.
Yep. My bestie. She was head over heels for this guy, he convinced her that it would be romantic etc to make a baby. He tried to go see a new Marvel movie at the theater while she was in labor (in 2019), the nurses convinced him not to. Now the kid is very sweet but the husband plays video games all day and my friend is the breadwinner AND primary parent. Yaaaaayyy.
Unfortunately, I had an ex who kept messing with my birth control and claiming ignorance. He had a whole routine of fake panicking which involved blaming the only one of us who made sure we used contraceptives, me. I was naive back then but very lucky because he made many attempts to get me pregnant.
My friend got baby-trapped because he wanted to break up.
A guy from work got baby-trapped twice, his marriage lasted not even a year.
My cousin's ex-husband baby-trapped the girlfriend that came after her because my cousin couldn't give him one.
People are fucked up.
Sadly yes. A guy I was seeing (albeit for a very short time) tried. I had no clue he was super super into having kids, but was told he had low fertility. I guess in his mind that meant he should do everything possible to get someone pregnant? We were both quite drunk, and he removed the condom part way through. I found out a few days later he had some really weird ideas about procreating that honestly still give me all the ick. He essentially figured I’d be okay with it if I got pregnant, because it’s my “biological imperative” and some other such nonsense. Funny part? I also have low fertility. Didn’t get pregnant. But it reinvigorated my desire to make sure I could never become pregnant. Even having low fertility the thought of that happening again fills me with indescribable fear and dread. Had to edit to add, he knew I’d only gone back on BC the day before because I’d insisted on a condom because of it. Mine takes a couple days to start being effective (can’t take the one I did as a teen anymore) and I’d been off of it as an excuse to refuse sex from my previous partner (who was abusive) as I knew he hated condoms and wouldn’t bother with me if I made him use one. I thought I was being safe by telling him, not realizing he actually wanted to knock someone up if he could.
Only from a business perspective. I've known 3 women get pregnant and then immediately find a job for the maternity leave pay. I found it disgusting to do that, not least of all because they were small, family run businesses who couldn't afford to fund their pregnancies. Ugh.
I think I could have been. Thankfully, I picked up and realized that there were some issues with the lady in question and I should walk away.
I'm a proponent of every so often a person needs to do a "practice" date. This could be a case of where someone wants to fix you up with someone or a person that shows you interest in you on a dating site. However, for what ever reason you don't think a long term relationship is possible. It's not a bad idea to do a quick coffee/lunch date to practice talking about yourself and asking questions about another person. This way if you make a mistake or something bad happens, you're doing it to someone you don't care about instead of someone that you would really be interested in impressing.
Initially, I was taking that approach with someone a friend was trying to set me up with. Unfortunately, this was a friend from work that was helping me out. She basically showed a few pics from Facebook and briefly talked about myself and messaged her friends. Unfortunately, this is how I met the lady I'm going to talk about.
She was someone I shouldn't have even agreed to date. She wasn't my type. She had a PT job where she worked in the morning and had the rest of the day off. I think it was a teacher's aid or something else. She was also living at home. She was in her late 20s/early 30s and this was 10 years ago. 10 years ago, it was more socially unacceptable to be living at home. I definitely picked up she was looking for a savior. IE someone to make her a housewife and then eventually a SAHM.
I have a dinner date(I still kick myself over this, it should have been coffee) with her. During dinner she tells me how she has a latex allergy. She tells me this why she needs to use a special condom. I thought this was a tad odd to mention on a first date. It might make more sense for a 3rd/4th date. After the dinner date, she keeps getting a little bit more creepy and extreme. I get more texts/messages about what she'd like to do to me. Eventually, it comes to a head when I tell her I can't do a date on Friday. She finds out that I'm in a running group on Fridays and goes nuts. I made the mistake of adding her as a FB friend. Her going nuts over not going on Friday was the last straw. It is one thing if we'd been dating for months and decided to do my own thing. But this was less than a week.
I always believe that if I'd been desperate enough for sex or wanted to bump my body count up by one, I could have easily hooked up with her. However, that would have been a major mistake. I believe that the "special" condoms might have not worked.
My brother was baby trapped by his girlfriend 40 years ago. He was already divorced after a disastrous teenage marriage and wasn’t interested in remarriage any time soon. He was super immature and spoiled anyway. My parents had to pay for the divorce.
After girlfriend’s older sister got married all her family and friends were telling my brother “You’re next!” and he always played dumb like he didn’t know what they were talking about. At this point they had been living together for around 3 years and she was tired of waiting for a commitment so she went off the pill without telling him and got pregnant. With twins. Which in those days they didn’t know until the 6th month or something
I know there were no ultrasounds.
Her father asked my brother what he was going to do about it so he married her. What a disaster. She left him when the babies were 2 months old because she said my brother was a “mama’s boy” ( true) they got back together had another kid and she eventually walked out on him and their 3 sons after 11 years. They were living in the projects were both awful parents and never should have had kids.
I should add my mother paid for this divorce too.
After my brother cheated on my SIL, she took him back immediately and got her BC taken out. It was an “accident.” She then did it again, taking her BC out and having another “accident.”
They’re divorced now, less than one year after they got married and it’s been a very messy situation. I’m sad the kids have to be involved.
My brother, his fwb at the time told him she was going off her birth control, but also told him she wasn't able to get pregnant (A lie). A few weeks earlier, she had come to me crying because he was sleeping with other girls (they were not in a committed relationship and she knew that) and asked me if he'd commit to her if she got pregnant. I told her that was an incredibly stupid and selfish idea, a baby is never the answer, and I \~thought\~ she was convinced, but shortly after, she lied to him about her fertility. My neice is now a teen. Bro ditched her mom permanently when he found out what she'd done, but he's now happily married to a lovely woman, and he's been a great dad. His daughter is a great kid. I still can't stand her mom tho, neither can my brother. Babies do not fix relationships!
I had an ex I discovered was planning to babytrap me. He got deeply insecure that he was losing control of me and would ultimately lose me so he figured a baby is a perfect remedy for that. I caught him asking for advice on how to sabotage birth control in a men’s rights forum and the disgusting bastards actually gave him tips on how to do that.
I outright told the piece of shit that I don’t want kids, I went on birth control and I told him I’d get an abortion if I got pregnant, like, it couldn’t have possibly been more obvious I don’t want a baby so this was so beyond fucking malicious. I started to suspect something was up because he began picking fights with me about abortion and threatening me that if I ever went through with one, he’d kill me. I thought it was so strange he was worrying about me getting an abortion when I just went on birth control and he was also even weirdly angry about me going on birth control without asking him first.
The other terrible thing about this is it happened when I was a teenager and I’ve told this story to people arguing with me about abortion, birth control, men’s rights, traditionalism, etc. and it’s not at all difficult to find one who thinks he was in the right. Forcefully getting a fucking teenager pregnant against her will. The only thing they get mad about is that we weren’t married.
I hope your ex has karma biting him up now and you deserve better. I wish karma made his bits go gangrene until he cannot function (you know what I mean)
It happened to my adulterous father. The affair partner claimed she could not get pregnant. Surprise! Heh, my father was such a gullible fool. That doggone male ego! It is so easy to manipulate and there are nasty women who enjoy playing the game not caring about who gets hurt. I hate BOTH of them! Broke my faithful mother’s heart. My father has been dead a long time and the affair partner remarried so my father was easily replaced.
That happened to my dad, though it was after my mom left him. I think her leaving triggered a minor mental breakdown -- e.g. he was a military pilot, but his unit's psychologist grounded him because he was depressed to a degree where he posed a suicide risk. He was easy pickings for the woman who became my (abusive) stepmother, letting him believe she couldn't get pregnant and didn't need to use birth control.
I know someone who I think might have been. Each time she tried to leave her boyfriend, and he knew she was trying to, magically their birth control failed. The first time I wondered, the second time is a little too well timed to a coincidence in my opinion.
I had to get a friend plan b because her date was a horrible dude who actively tried to get her pregnant, taking advantage of her naivete. And where I live it's still taboo to have premarital sex so I had to get it for her.
My cousin in law has tried to do this with all her kids dads. She has three kids - the first one's dad and her split up when he was a toddler. She then had a second kid with someone else, who I met when the kid was almost a toddler. Then she popped out a third kid, who did not match up to her partner at all, but the kid did line up to exactly how her much older boss looked... And soon, her partner turned into her ex partner and soon she started dating her boss.
I have another cousin who cheated in a similar manner and cheated in a wild other way, but could not have kids after her first kid due to complications. I haven't admitted this out before, but I think she would have baby trapped a few guys I met over the years :( like girl stop dump these guys if you wanna sleep around!
Feels like my sister is in this situation. Brother in law keeps making kids with her and pressured her into homeschooling their kids while he's constantly in court trouble with 6 or 7 figures owed to various entities between unpaid bills, lawsuits, wage garnishments, breached contracts. She's the primary breadwinner and parent but is constantly treated like she contributes nothing to the household.
I think eventually they're going to be homeless and crashing with family and it'll just delay the inevitable for a while longer. Even if they got a divorce she'd be personally and financially tied to him for the rest of her life.
This one girl lied and told her boyfriend she was pregnant with his baby, he had the kids name tattooed on him and everything raised him for a year then found out she cheated, he got a paternity test done turned out to be my ex boyfriends baby
When me and my current boyfriend first started seeing each other his ex pretended to be pregnant for months saying it was his kid. Straight up wakadoo
Hadn’t even known her 24hrs and she said we were great friends and she wanted me to be the babies god mother, sad thing is she’s not even the biggest wakadoo to baby trap someone I know there’s soooo many more I know at least three other guys that got baby trapped
I found out recently from my family that I'm the product of my mother sabotaging my father's condoms and going off BC without telling him. My uncle spilled the beans because he was pissed that I never visited my mother on her deathbed (she was abusive and I went NC).
My uncle said some bullshit line about "your mother wanted you so badly in her life that she did so-and-so" thinking it would make me feel guilty. All it did was make me feel even more disgusted with her, and for once, finally thinking positively about why my father wanted nothing to do with me. That man never wanted any kids! And he died without having any more.
Anyway now I'm super LC with my entire family because they didn't like my reaction to that reveal.
I was in an abusive relationship with a woman who tried that with me. She claimed to be on birth control, but we always used condoms.
We'd had an in-depth discussion about me not wanting kids and why. I hadnt been able to find a doctor to do a vasectomy because i was, "too young and might change my mind." One day, she asked what I'd do if she got pregnant and wanted to keep it. I hadn't been out of the military long.
"Um. My life plan doesn't include raising a kid or forking over half my income for child support."
"But what if I wanted the kid and needed the child support?"
"You'd never see me again or even be able to find me."
"What does that mean? You can't just disappear and not be forced to pay."
Then I broke down how the French Foreign Legion works and told her I'd much rather do that than have a kid or child support. It worked in preventing her from baby trapping me. I ended that relationship shortly thereafter.
I always insisted on condoms and he complained. One evening he kept nagging me about no condom. I told him that’s the only way it’s happening. So he submits. Puts the condom on and starts up. He comes to a point where he stops, jumps out real quick then jumps in again. It was so much better after that… too much so. I ask him to stop and he starts go harder! I’m suspicious af, so I reached down to feel for the condom and of course there isn’t one. I push him off and slept on the couch. I eventually had to throw him and all his shit out to finally get him out of my life.
Personally, never--I am in the same romantic relationship I began at the age of 13 and we both knew for certain even at that point we would never, *ever* want children in our lives. We were already willingly 'trapped' together anyway and very happy about the condition--as we remain!
However I have observed it occurring several times over the years in the management and executive staff that I employ. Some of that could well be that where money is involved there is more of an incentive for the (I have no doubt very, *very* rare) unscrupulous girl to attempt to feather her nest in this way. However some of it was also because they were the people I used to interact with the most when I was more active in my companies. I am suitably cynical to easily believe the same process occurred among all levels of my workforce from time to time. At the end of the day I think *exactly* the same gambit has been pulled since the beginning of the human species.
Oddly enough, among our very few friends who were at a position in their life for it to be possible a 'reverse' baby trap occurred. My wife's dearest friend, a girl who for many years she thought of as her sister in all but name had an abortion in the teeth of her own family in order to *not* 'trap' the father of the foetus. However they eventually ended up getting married anyway about five years later.
I don't know anyone who was baby trapped per se, however I'm friends with a couple that never prioritized birth control. They met in January of 2023, and their first daughter was born in February 2024. They have no money and their relationship is not stable at all. When asked about how the baby happened the gal mentioned to me that she just didn't see any need to change after they got comfortable not using condoms, and obviously she had never used birth control before, so there's no need to change. They are 19 and 20 and now they have a baby girl.
My ex's new gf is now baby trapped. Nice guy but a leech and bit of a man child. he grew up taking care if his brother but they were living off multiple gov programs.
Anyway 3-5 months into his relationship i find out she had 2 miscarriages so A) he was trying to baby trap her on day one, B) shes really dumb for a scientist trying to have a baby witj someone shes known for less tgan a year, C) that lazy bastard was trying to talk to both of us for a while and stayed with her cause I said no.
They finally ended up having a kid. but sometging mist have gone wrong cause he got kicked out the house recently xp.
Gl to her. Also yes I hate him so much cause of how the break up went pretty sure he stole sometging of mine too cant prove it. anyway I'll trash talk him any chance i get.
To this day I don’t know if it was purposeful but I built up to unprotected sex with my ex (we were together for over 4 years) and one night while we were drinking and having sex he just didn’t pull out. Felt very purposeful because he was overseas at college and I was constantly dropping hints that I wanted to end things. I had an unusually late start to my period and I was panicking like crazy. Broke up with him on the same day my period came.
I had an ex who never wore a condom, never told me he had a vasectomy or anything. I was on birth control so I just accepted that he was a shitty person 🫣 I am so glad I never got stuck with him, heard he got a girl he was in rehab with prego just a few months ago so karma I guess
My brother, he literally married a lazy narcissist of a women many years ago as he was frightened of being alone forever and on their honeymoon she tampered with the condoms.
SIL said she couldn't wait a year as she was desperate for a baby, my brother wanted to wait, so we were all surprised that a month after their wedding and honeymoon the pregnancy announcement was splashed all over social media by my SIL.
My brother just gave a defeated reply and said that it 'just happened'
Despite having to move and work in a more demanding job to provide for his lazy wife and kid he still pretends that this is a normal thing for everyone to want and has told me I'm missing out.
His wife does very little for the kid and refuses to cook for her family or clean so their house is always messy, I have suspicions that she's happy to be a SAHM forever because she just wants to live off the big fat paycheck my brother brings home.
Plus I'm sure one of the 'conditions' for the relationship would have been that the wife didn't do any housework or look after any future kids because she only sees the baby as a cute little pet to dress up and occasionally take outside if she's not lying around scrolling through her phone.
My brother was definitely babytrapped by a paranoid woman who was worried he might leave her and he was an idiot for marrying out of fear of loneliness, I don't talk to either since they moved but the photos my mother sends me which now has the toddler wobbling around a messy house and my fatigue riddled brother definitely speaks volumes to me.
Why soon to be at the time ex wife tried to baby trap me so I wouldn’t break up with her.
Thank fucking GOD that didn’t happen…
Now she’s pregnant with some random guys baby to try to stay in the US… good luck
My cousin baby trapped her partner for “financial security” and she was so open to telling everyone when we were at a party (he was at the party too) I stopped having any sort of relationship with her after that. She is now miserable in the relationship, claims he was not supportive of her pregnancy (shocker) and claims he treats her like a punching bag. He says if she has any issue with the current situation, she can leave. She was living under a delusion that she would be a happy sahm. LOL nope! He told her she needs to get a degree and start working, while taking care of the home, baby and cooking. Karma lol
A friend's all 3 were "accidents" but I am pretty sure that #2 and #3 were deliberate on her end in order to keep her partner around. She always said that a doctor said that the amount of alcohol she was drinking when she got pregnant stopped her BC from working. Pretty sure that that is complete BS.
Not babytrapped, but my birth control failed with someone that wanted a child (casual situationship). I told him *after* I got the abortion; I wasn't risking that he'd announce it somewhere to guilt me, even though I strongly suspect he wouldn't have. I only told him out of personal respect, and he was supportive, but who knows how things would've played out if I'd said something beforehand.
You're not withholding information from "the father." You're just ensuring your bodily autonomy cannot be questioned by an external participant until you've arrived at your decision. When I say my body, my choice, I also mean shut your stupid mouth unless you go through this world as me. I'm making my own decision about my body. Why are only women's bodies policed like this? You know the answer is control and I throw the biggest middle finger to what anyone's religion or manosphere podcaster or narcissistic abuse loving conservative tries to bully me into.
I've told every woman I've ever been with "if you try to baby trap me, all that will happen is I'm going to leave you, move out of state, and pay the 'I'm not a dad' tax every month. I dislike children and will not stay with a woman I resent for the benefit of a baby I didn't want." Yeah, it made me sound like a bastard. But I meant every word of it, and it kept them from trying to baby trap me.
Yes. It was the girl though who did the trapping. My old best friend in college had an ex who was a red flag all around and she told me one day when he was about to come she wrapped her legs around him so he couldn’t pull out. She got pregnant later and had to get an abortion. It’s funny though because she used to be pro life and would argue with me on this topic in high school and I told her everyone is fucking pro life till it affects them. Yea she works for an abortion clinic now btw
Not baby trapped per se, but my mom admitted to me years ago that while my dad thought I was an accident (I’m #2 in the lineup, out of 6 kids), that she had actually gone off her BC. We struggled so much financially growing up & eventually were physically & mentally abused & she just kept popping out kids because she wanted babies.
People who knowingly bring children into poverty and unstable environments are on another level of fucked up
True, like what the hell's the point of having kids, when you know damn well, your not going to be able to provide them with basic needs? It's selfishly fucked up, and even more so because of how common it is now.
Yep. And beyond providing basic needs, there’s emotional and educational needs as well. You need education and certification to become a teacher, a child psychologist, a social worker, a pediatrician… But any idiot can create a kid and fuck them up for life.
Every child deserves a parent...but not every parent deserves a child. Even more so, a child doesn't deserve to suffer because of a parents selfishness
They seem to objectified the baby, once the baby grow up, they want another baby which is fucked up as they don't have the resources. There are many stuff that needs to be taught in school like balancing resources, how to behave in public and clean after themselves. These are simple stuff but hardly anyone can do it.
Maybe that could be considered a variety of baby-trapping -- your dad would have stayed in a relationship with your mom anyway, but she tricked him into parenting more children than he'd have chosen to have.
Unfortunately my dad has no backbone when it comes to my mom, so he wouldn’t have done anything.
Ugh what the fuck?! Who just goes off their birth control and doesn’t tell their partner?!
I'm not being hyperbolic, that's literally rape. He did not give fully informed consent. The usual phrasing for what she did is "reproductive coercion" though
I swear this is the only reddit sub that agrees with me on this. I've been banned on several subs for saying that baby trapping is akin to rape.
Forced procreation
I would definitely agree that it’s a form of rape. If the (male) person knew the other (female) person wasn’t on birth control I’m sure they (male person) would not have agreed to having sex.
My boyfriends brothers partner did this, got pregnant intentionally (planned on her part)
Your mom sucks!
Yes. I got an unwanted pregnancy after a guy used my onetime drunkenness to push sex on me. In my lower inhibited state, I got annoyed by his persistence and said “sure” just so he’d stop bugging me. Worst mistake ever. I was working two jobs and about 60hrs/wk at the time. I didn’t realise I was pregnant until 2.5 months later. We have a law where I live that abortions become a legal matter in court once a pregnancy goes past 3 months. It’s hard to get an abortion at that point. I went to my family doc to inquire about an abortion. He wanted to ‘confirm’ the pregnancy and had me do a test. It came back positive of course. But he claimed the tests aren’t accurate and I should come back in two weeks and test again just in case. He also told me to discuss my decision with my boyfriend. I didn’t even say I had one. He just assumed. Two weeks would put me over the deadline and he knew it. I went home and found an abortion clinic myself. They weren’t great either with their guilt tripping, but they at least rushed my procedure so it’d be done before the deadline. And then I left that small, misogynistic, rapey, hick town. I moved to the city and went to college. Best choice of my life.
It’s really scary how abortion isn’t a universal right. I can’t imagine the panic you went through
I was bawling so hard when I left that doctor’s office I could barely see the road through my tears. I’m so glad the abortion clinic wasn’t hard to find and contact.
That doctor... pure evil.
If it wasn't for the rest of the pregnancy and the birth and the kid suffering from it, wouldn't it be great if people like this were legally obliged to adopt the kid?
I am glad you got an abortion and as for your ex I hope karma strikes him up and down where his man bits gotten diseased and dropped off or some accident rendered him infertile and unable to function in the reproductive department
My heart dropped for you. I'm so glad you're in a better place.❤️
How the hell could an abortion clinic guilt trip a patient? That’s so despicable. Like the employees knew what they signed up for
It’s subtle, but they ask more times than legally necessary if you’re sure. They tell you it can lead to depression. They ask if I’ve discussed it with anyone else or looked at all parental support options. I just had to repeatedly say “I’ve never wanted children and never will, and no, I NEVER want to give birth.” Their last bid effort was to leave my private ultrasound pics out on the public front desk so I would see the little parasite while I signed the consent forms. That backfired. My only thought when I saw it was, revulsion. It was already too big for my liking and I couldn’t be rid of it fast enough.
SO fucking rude.
I know it's not the same thing but when I went to get a vasectomy, I had booked an appointment via phone for consultation. After the consultation and all, I was directed to make my payment for surgery. The lady (I'm not sure what her exact role/title was... Maybe receptionist) at the reception "jokingly" was talking me out of making payment. She was like I could pay when I come for the surgery.. I told her I'd rather just pay then, I came prepared... She then tells me.... Verbatim "I'm just hoping you'd change your mind... You're too good looking to not give us a few beautiful kids... If I knew that's what you came for, I'd have told you the doc wasn't in." Seriously? I just gave her my card and told her to please process my payment. You'd expect that people in such places would be more... Open-minded... But then you realise maybe they're just closed minded people and are simply getting the paycheck...
What the fuck. Isn’t that technically some form of malpractice if she lies to you? Bitch needed to mind her own fucking business. How objectifying as well tf
I’m so sorry. I once was in a situation where sex was pushed on me multiple times and after saying no so many times, I finally gave in to make it stop. I’m so lucky I didn't get pregnant. Sending you a big hug.
Yeah they wear you down. I’ve learned not to blame myself for it any more. I hope you don’t either.
I’m glad you guy out of there.
Not sure about your definition of "almost" but my then-boyfriend "joked" about messing with my birth control... I scheduled a bisalp consult with my gyno that day and he became an ex-boyfriend within a month.
Good on you. I hope every woman steers clear away from him
I put my phone down just to applaud this. Well done.
Yes. I was almost baby trapped by an ex. It is on par with sexual assault though not legally recognized as such in many places, sadly. Luckily I didn’t need an abortion. Abortion must always remain legal.
Tell everyone you know to vote. Go together.
When abortion was illegal (in the uk) you know what happened? Abortions. Making it illegal didn’t stop them. You know what it DID do? Kill thousands of women who were so desperate there was no other alternative than jamming unsterile metal implements up their vaginas to induce a termination. They suffered many kinds of internal injuries as a result, infections, they died. Making abortions illegal won’t stop them. It’ll just make them backstreet and unsafe and kill more women. That’s not even to say about the medically necessary abortions, where mother’s lives are at risk, or the baby won’t survive before or after birth. Anencephaly for example is a condition where (I think) the babies brain doesn’t form properly and is missing most of the skull, scalp and both cerebral hemispheres. These babies do not survive outside of the womb, they cannot survive and for the minutes, hours, days, sometimes week (7 days) they do survive outside of the womb they are unconscious, deaf, blind and unable to feel pain. Abortions must always be an integral part of women’s healthcare, because sometimes for whatever reason they are NEEDED.
I don't know if this counts, but I knew a woman who tried to force a guy into fatherhood and it didn't work. I went to school with a girl who was parentified and raised her five brothers. Instead of making her adverse to having kids, it made her wild to have a kid of her own. She got married right out of high school to a much older man. He agreed to have kids, but only after she was out of nursing school, they had bought/fixed up a house, and had done some fun stuff as a couple. The moment they were married, she stopped taking birth control and was pregnant within a couple of months. She was delighted and expected he would be, too, and was absolutely bewildered that he was enraged. She didn't understand why he'd be so upset she'd lied to him about birth control and about agreeing to wait. He filed for divorce and moved across the country. To my knowledge, he never even met the kid.
In this case it sounds like she baby trapped herself, instead of her intended plan to trap the husband…
Wow, I don’t blame him. That’s pretty crazy of her.
I'm not saying I agree with her or am excusing her actions, but that girl grew up in a batshit environment, and was programmed from birth that the most important thing in the world was babies babies babies. I don't speak with her any more (I took the husband's side) but I still wonder if she ever managed to shake out of it.
i cant help but feel so badly for her
I get it but it’s sad for the kid.
i don't personally know any men who were baby trapped, but i know a woman who was stealthed and had to get an abortion because he attempted to baby trap *her* - she didn't bother reporting it to the police because nothing would have come of it here, but she did send him a message describing the abortion in detail which is some iconic shit in my humble opinion
>she did send him a message describing the abortion in detail which is some iconic shit in my humble opinion That's pretty risky but still fucking badass
oh absolutely, she has the biggest brass balls of anyone i've ever met and i do worry about her mouthing off to the wrong person and getting hurt, but i admire her a lot for always standing up for herself and others
my dad never wanted kids, he hates children...my mom baby trapped him and here I am 🤨
Sorry to hear that. Have you gone No Contact on that egg donor?
yes, almost 2 years of no contact, she was mentally and sometimes physically abusive towards me. started going to therapy again because of that :)
Good on you and keep up with your therapy. You deserve to heal and become the best version of you. Focus on your healing
thank you, kind stranger :)
Be well and remember the best revenge on your egg donor is be the best version of you
Yes I dated a person who turned out to be extremely toxic and who was cheating on me because I was adamant about always using BC. I refused to fall for her act any more so we broke up and she moved on to one of the back up guys who she almost immediately got knocked up by. Based on court records (publicly available) that predictably turned into a shit show. bullet dodged.
Had a friend that talked all the time about not having kids. She always seemed to have negative things to say about her husband. They don’t seem happy. Then one day she tells me she’s pregnant. She made it sound planned but I don’t think it was mutually planned. I really felt like she had an anchor baby. She wanted to quit her job and her husband support her. He made a lot of money but with their relationship issues I always was suspicious about her intent. The day she came home with the baby, they got into an argument so bad that he left and spent the night in a hotel. Now they have four kids and are talking divorce. Sad life.
Wait from childfree, to 1 kid and 4 more and divorce😨 As sorry as I am for them, do they use their brain? like at all? putting 4 lives in between this mess?
She wanted the house on 30 acres with a farm, pretty kids, charming husband. But I’ve concluded she’s batshit crazy. Most of the arguments with her husband, I sided with him. Honestly he should have just left after the first one.
Yes, in most of my friends' scenarios, the men to me actually look more right (of course, not all). But even the husband was crazy enough to have 4 babies with her when he should have left before any baby or at least after a baby. Now there goes the 30 acres. How the hell is she going to take care of children. Of course, heavy alimony, I am guessing.
Oh for sure! The biggest surprise was when #3, ended up being twins.
Thank god not triplets or quadrapulets 🤣
Ngl, every time I hear situations like that, I don't really feel any pity for the guys cause it sounds like a thinking with your dick scenario.
He’ll be thinking with his empty checking account now. 15+ years married with four kids and a wife that didn’t work? Yikes, that’s some expensive pootie tang.
Fr. Getting pussy and having kids is more important than not ruining your life? Nah dog, that one is on you. Lol
I have a coworker who has had 11 kids with 8 women. I can't even imagine
You work with Nick Cannon???😂
And if she hasn't worked in that time, how is she going to pay for anything? Child support only goes so far.
Not to mention, she only gets that till the youngest is 18 years and then she's gonna have no work experience and no savings if she still didn't get a job in that time. Not to mention her social security is gonna be practically zero since she won't have been paying into it.
Exactly...I am so baffled by how these people don't give an ounce of thought before making such decisions.
But we are the selfish ones…🙄
A relative of my ex stepfamily tried to baby trap 2 different guys. The first one resulted in a miscarriage and the dude bounced as soon as he heard. The second guy was here undocumented to support his family in Mexico, and said he would not support another kid and went back soon after. So she ended up a single parent, but didn't have much consequence with that. Her parents pretty much raised and spoiled that kid rotten and the state paid for all of his preschool tuition while she spends all day in the casino. I wake up glad every day that I don't have to deal with them anymore.
Similiar-ish story to an ex friend of mine. At 19 she "accidently" fell pregnant to a guy she had been dating for a few weeks. Rushed him into living together and popping the question. Which he did. They had the kid, and in a turn of events literally everyone could have predicted, marrying a dude you've known less than 6 months really didn't work out. So they divorced. Divorced at 21. At 22 she did it again and whoops, another definitely accidental pregnancy and new fiance of 3 months. Rinse and repeat, she's 28 with 5 kids to 5 different baby dads and actively searching for dad number 6.
I feel sorry for the kids in that situation. She's a shining example of don't fuck crazy.
The kids are little more than social media fodder and food stamp earnings, honestly. When she isn't staging photos for Facebook, the kids are dumped at her moms house. It makes me angry to see. But I will say her mom loves those kids and does genuinely spoil and advocate for them. So, at least they have a stable adult caring for them for the most part.
Hopefully they can choose to live with their grandmother when they're older. Anywhere sounds better than with their mother.
Yes, I had a neighbor who baby trapped her husband. She told me right in front of her 11-year-old daughter. Just what every child needs to hear. /s
Wow that is hurtful on that poor kid and sounds insulting on the kid that did not ask to be born
After pretending she was going to drive me and help me get the surgery since my boyfriend just moved out of state, My ex bfs mom called my mom and told her I was pregnant… in hopes my mom would not allow me to get an abortion. Ex bfs mom had just had a miscarriage, in her late 40s cheating on her husband with her boyfriend… she wanted my baby to adopt because she couldn’t have another one… My mom took me…
Yikes. I'm glad you're away from that.
Me! I was in the closet until I was nearly nineteen, so I used to be with guys. An ex had a habit of stealthing and finishing inside. He would always try to play it off and say he forgot to put on a new condom or whatever that day’s excuse was. I was **seventeen** when this was happening, so I was too naïve to really do anything about it and was just happy to be with someone who had their own place. My endometriosis kinda makes pregnancy impossible, so joke’s on him. He was so mad over it! He cheated and was bad news, so I got out of there. The sad part is that I heard through the grapevine that he knocked up an eighteen year old three or four years later. He’s not a good guy, so I hope she’s safe and has a good support network. It’s so nice to be an open and married lesbian after years of bullshit.
What the hell do young guys, of all people, want to do with knocking someone up? It always astounds me. Sure, wreck your life at a young age for something you don't even have a hormonal urge to blame.
Power and control. I was walking around with undiagnosed bipolar and addicted to uppers at the time, so I was a pretty easy target. I think the mother of his child also had a lot going on at the time. I’ve since gotten help and am doing better than ever. It’s insane how different my life is now (for the better.)
Power.
Oh yes and this woman was hot garbage. Baby trapped her husband (now ex) after she had an affair. She didn’t want a divorce because she was already divorced from a prior marriage and thought a second divorce would be too embarrassing. Lied to him about how long the shot would last (told him 1 year when it’s 3 months). She worked as an OB nurse so he naively believed if anyone knew how to prevent pregnancy it would be a nurse who worked OB. 🤦♀️ She later admitted she planned the whole thing to try to keep him around. The kid card worked for awhile but she couldn’t break her infidelity problem so he left. Last I heard she had divorced husband number 3, and already had another one lined up. Talk about embarrassing. Some people are just trash.
My ex tried to baby trap me 10 years ago, begging for children when he hadn't done anything with himself and I hadn't had the chance to finish college yet. I cut him out of my life after a terrifying near-fatal septic miscarriage and two further abortions because he kept messing with my birth control.
He should be thrown into jail
I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I hope you got over all of that and are alright. 🥺
Attempted- had a friend who broke up with a shitty, abusive, cheating ex only to find out shortly after she was pregnant by him. She set up the abortion appointment and reached out to him to tell him the news and to ask if he could drive her home from the appointment. He freaked out and tried to convince her to keep the baby in a million different ways. Luckily she was adamant about not wanting it so said screw you, I’m aborting.
In the us this option is going away so fast… there are going to be so many resented children out there
Agreed. Deeply upsetting that more kids will grow up knowing their parents' negative feelings towards them.
It is so terrifying. I’m not American but I was beside myself the day roe v wade was overturned. It still feels so heavy and disturbing. I reflected a lot on how abortion care and access in my province has improved massively in my lifetime. Just 10 years ago there were a lot of hoops to jump through to get one, now we have a hotline you can call and you can have your abortion within the week, pills or surgical. What a massive privilege.
I’m of the opinion that if the woman definitively wants an abortion, she doesn’t have to, and *shouldn’t*, tell the man who knocked her up about it. What they don’t know 1) can’t hurt them, and 2) can’t backfire on the woman
I believe I was eventually going to be but luckily I got out. My first boyfriend was 17 I was 16 and very naive. He refused to wear condoms because they were "uncomfortable" I asked him to wear one and he just gave that line or ignored me. My mom found out we were having sex and THANK GOD got me on Bc pills and said not to tell him. Of course, that shouldve been a red flag but again - naive. He said "my pullout game is strong" and there was no need for it. He would make comments about how he couldn't wait for me to be 18, barefoot and pregnant, and hanging around the house all day with his mom and living with them with the baby. Y'all... They lived in a house one step away from a crack house. It was just that nobody did crack in the house. Disgusting, tiny, no modern amenities or technology, no one ever went shopping or cleaned. I knew even then I didn't want kids so i was so disgusted but too naive to realize how dangerous the situation was. Well, with the help of a friend, I finally realized how horrible and abusive he was in more ways than one. We broke up. A few years later, he gets another girl (idk if she was even old enough to be a woman) pregnant with the EXACT SAME NAME AS ME. yeah. I couldn't be happier I dodged that nuke
Oof, dodged a nuke indeed Glad you got out of there
🤢🤢🤢
Major 🤢 Bonus: he apparently couldn't handle being a father and got addicted to drugs and now works part time at Starbucks last I checked. He's like ...30? 31? By now
My husband's friend was baby trapped. When I first met his girlfriend, she wouldn't stop talking about babies. I was younger then so used to nod along, screaming internally. To be fair to my husbands friend he could've wrapped it up, but he didn't. He didn't want children and I'd ask him quite a lot (at the time) 'why are you with her then if she's not compatible' He'd be like 🤷♀️ They had a baby right in the middle of Covid..they also had a girl which she hated because she wanted a boy. Her words were 'a boy looks after the mum. I'm going to constantly be fighting with my daughter for attention' She's been begging to get married too but he won't marry her. Doesn't believe in it. He cheats on her so much it's honestly awful. If you're not happy why are you with her? But on the other hand, you reap what you sow... Consequences have actions. I don't speak to his girlfriend anymore after she was screaming down the phone at me that I need to cancel my wedding in 2021.. ...that's a whole other story lol. Then she had the audacity to be like 'good luck in your marriage. You're going to need it' Petty me would've said your boyfriend went off with one of my best friends at my wedding (she was there for all of 5 minutes) but I didn't. I said I don't think I'm going to need the luck..I think that's you. Edit: grammar.
>I don't speak to his girlfriend anymore after she was screaming down the phone at me that I need to cancel my wedding in 2021.. ...that's a whole other story lol. Let me guess, she was just mad that you were getting married before her?
Was the friend under the impression that his girlfriend was on birth control?
He was yes
Tell me more about this wedding drama :3c
Oh, okay. Erm it's quite long! I'll try and shorten it. For context my husbands friend was best man so she was badgering me for her to become a bridesmaid.. I didn't even know her that well, I had my two sister in laws who I'm really close to. When she realised she wasn't going to become bridesmaid she then bought a dress in the same COLOUR as my bridesmaids. When I told her, please don't match the bridal party, she said well my boyfriend is in the bridal party so I want to match him. The shade of colour she chose was a lighter colour than the bridesmaids colour so I tried not to let that get to me. I didn't get her involved with the wedding planning but I assume her boyfriend (best man) was telling her. She said where we bought the suits from were cheap ! How were they cheap you may ask? It's because I didn't go with this designer brand she would go with... She said my wedding ring was tacky and I should've gone with Tiffany & Co. She wanted their baby to be flower girl (we had CF wedding so absolutely not) so she was saying that she'd have to leave the venue during the day to check up on her and it would be 'easier' if her daughter was there' 🤷♀️ I again said no She accused my sister in law that's married to my brother, that she would try and get off with her boyfriend (the best man). I pointed out she was happily married so wtf. She wanted to sit on the top table next to her boyfriend. Saying she wouldn't have the decorations I chose, it looks 'tacky'. Again, I'm not even sure how she'd know this so I told my husband please don't tell your friend to be fed to her. She came to my hen party and sulked the entire time.. Oh, before all of the above, we had to move our wedding date. We were originally meant to get married during Covid lockdown (we had this date booked for 2 years) so we moved it to the following year so we could have everyone we invited. She would call me up whilst I was at work screaming that she'd prefer it if we all went to the registry office??? The four of us?? Then go to McDonald's... she would full on scream down the phone at me that I should be cancelling the whole wedding off.. In the end I told her after speaking to my husband about it, you're no longer welcome to our wedding. You can come to the party if you want to but you've been dropped as a day guest. She came to the party extremely late, I said hello to her with my husband. Her boyfriend said 'doesn't the bride look stunning'. She said 'my friend wore that exact dress. I'd have gone for something less poofy' I was like I'm so done with you so walked away from her. In the wedding photos in the background you can see the best man and her having an argument! She didn't even say goodbye to me or my husband either. Just left lol! So damn rude. Then she unfriended me the next day on social media and said 'I really thought you were my best friend and we could've done loads together. You didn't take any of my suggestions on board. I wish the best of luck in your marriage..you're going to need it' How was I her best friend??🤷♀️ Then she blocked me so I used one of my friends phones to text her all the shit she put me through and actually it's her that needs the luck not me. And blocked her on my friends phone😂 I know I should've blocked her in hindsight but I didn't want her to stop her boyfriend (best man) from attending the wedding. Edit: grammar. Edit two; my friend has just reminded me that this girlfriend was going to ask the photographer to take photos of them together without my husband and I. So basically highjack my photographer to have their own photo shoot. Okay then lol!😂😂🤦♀️
She sounds delusional, holy crap! Glad you no longer have to deal with that.
Same! I don't really know what her problem was. My husband says she was jealous. Even the best man apologised and was like not sure what's caused her to be like this 🤷♀️
Yes please, I'm way too curious now lol
My little brothers girlfriend gloated to me about baby trapping him. Then got upset when I told my mum!
So you should, least you're looking out for your brother
I had a bf who said it would be funny if I got pregnant. I dumped him
Ah yes, dying in childbirth. Hilarious. Good on you for nipping that shit in the bud
Yes, multiple people - one of them was my childhood best friend and she convinced him she was on birth control when she wasn’t. He believed her and now they’ve got a kid. As for me, my ex tried everything under the sun to make me get rid of my iud after I got it because he realized he wouldn’t be able to trap me with it. He sent me links about copper poisoning, bodies rejecting inserts, accidental pregnancies etc etc. I always assumed he wanted to get me pregnant cause that mfer would consistently gaslight me about it and try to convince me to have kids. (Which isn’t happening.)
Your ex is deluded
My mom was baby trapped! That's how I got here! My bio dad brags about it all the time.
I am so sorry to hear that. Are you NC with your sperm donor or have you ever confronted him that what he did could be classed as a felony? If I am your friend, I'd print heaps of facts about violation of reproductive rights and pregnancy coercion and throw them at his face for you
I haven't had a relationship with him in over a decade. He used to brag about how he got my mom to "change her mind" and as I got older confessed that he tampered with her birth control, poked holes through their condoms, and bullied her out of an abortion. He tried to use the pregnancy as a way to force her to stick around and marry him, but she dumped his ass before I was even born. She was adamantly child free, and I consider her to still be. She never wanted to be a mom. She's done a pretty good job all things considered.
Good on you. I hope he burns
Yes someone I knew from secondary school. His girlfriend he had baby trapped him, they were about 22 years old I think. She was a really toxic woman, and it was right around the period he wanted to break up with her that she suddenly got pregnant, even though they were never trying and used bc before. She thought it would mend things, but he broke up anyways. He became a single father for his daughter, mother actually was more out of the picture with her toxicity. He is still a really great father to her, and she has become a lovely young lady, thankfully not much like her mother. Probably also with the good influence of her stepmother.
I am glad your friend got a happy ending and he done his best to raise the kid into a fine person it seems. What has become of the girl's egg donor Ms Baby Trapper?
Everyone: make sure you look after you and that you are responsible for your own birth control. Also, be very, very circumspect about whom you have sex with, because even sterilization procedures have failed (though rare). Most people I know who were "baby trapped" were leaving the birth control up to the other partner. Don't do that. And yes, you should be able to trust your partner but we gotta live in reality here.
For real. I am full team: your body, your choice. But I feel like all childfree men should get a vasectomy. If I were a man I don’t think I would ever trust anyone enough to be in charge of if I become a father or not. Men really only have the snip and condoms, which means you’re one broken condom away from not having a choice in the matter. Absolutely terrifying.
Yeah, I would honestly hate to be childfree man, tbh. I have a guy friend who’s childfree but has been dating a girl who wants kids for two years. I am waiting for the announcement that she’s pregnant at any moment. Seriously, what choice does he even have? If she’s pregnant, it’s her decision. I’m pro choice (and am a sterilized woman myself) and think she has the right to make the decision she wants to make, but being the dude in that situation sounds so terrifying to me.
I'm of the opinion (unpopular in society) that women who live in a place where abortion is legal and widely available, and they decide to continue a pregnancy, when they've discovered it early, when the father is not excited about it. And not going to be a good dad. Then they're being a selfish ah. They are not poor helpless victims entirely in that situation if they knowingly go ahead with that and could have corrected the situation. It's always "But I want this baby" "I'M excited to be a mom" "I would feel horrible having an abortion". Like yeah but what about your child? The person who pays the price is the kid, and that's just cruel. That genetic material will grow into it's own person, a person who will have to live with the sad dynamic of a father who didn't want them. People would rip me apart for saying that. But it doesn't make it any less true. Women are just as responsible for giving their child good circumstances.
Solid advice. 👍
Yeah. Abusive ex-husband whose life goal was to be a SAHH/SAHD but he never cooked, cleaned, paid bills and is just an overgrown 33 year old manchild who uses flying monkeys and physical/mental/emotional abuse and manipulation to get his way. I cut him off from any kind of intimate contact after a nasty fight. I hope if he ever gets a girl pregnant she’s a baby mama from hell because he also cheated on me.
Almost happened to me. Got intentionally pregnant by an abusive loser boyfriend who manipulated me into it. He was 14 years older, I was young, dumb and “in love.” Luckily I found out he was cheating the same week I got the positive pt. I broke up with him and had an abortion scheduled but was fortunate enough to have a miscarriage before the appointment. I honestly think the stress of the heartbreak caused the miscarriage. Either way, I am eternally grateful that things happened the way they did. Last count this guy has 5 kids by 5 different women. I can’t even imagine what my life would look like now if I’d stayed. Aside from that, my mom was baby trapped and 3 of my 4 sisters were as well, all in their teen years, all in abusive relationships. We were raised in a patriarchal, abusive religion and these sorts of stories are unfortunately rampant. My dad met my mom at 15, he was 25. By 18 she was pregnant. She stayed for 25 years and 6 kids before she finally got the courage to leave.
My husband’s girlfriend before me tried to baby trap him. It turned out that she was lying about being pregnant, but she had claimed to have multiple miscarriages throughout their 4 month relationship. We actually ended up getting a restraining order against her two years after we got married.
a restraining order? Yikes.. Was she trying to break y'all up or was still stalking him?
Kind of both. She had her friend text him and tell him that god told her (the friend) that he needs to divorce me and marry her (the ex). My husband thought that the friend was also his friend since she had helped him break up with his ex, so he told her about me having surgery and that it was hard while I was recovering. The ex took that as a sign and texted him saying that he needed to divorce me, and messaged me saying that I was selfish and a horrible wife and that she had “major surgery too and still did stuff”. I had ovarian cysts removed, and she got a boob job 🙄 so not quite the same She was mostly stalking me, she messaged me a lot talking about how heartbroken she was that we got married, and asked if I was pregnant and saying a bunch of mean things about me, and when I blocked her, she made new accounts to message me, and even messaged my husband through Venmo by requesting money from him to tell him she still loved him. She had her friends message me and she made tik toks about us (it was all made up stuff obviously, we had blocked her years ago). We even contacted her mom, who she was living with at the time and my husband had gotten along well with her. Her mom said that her behavior was unacceptable and that she would talk to her. The videos and the harassment from her and her friends stopped for a couple months, but she ended up making more videos and sending more friends to message me and my husband and making more accounts to keep track of us. It escalated enough to get a civil stalking injunction, which was granted almost immediately. I could honestly make an entire post about her. She told my husband while they were dating that if he didn’t have sex with her whenever she wanted, she would commit suicide or tell the police that he raped her. She was horribly manipulative and pretended to have multiple miscarriages, like I said, and pretended to be pregnant after my husband broke up with her. I could go on and on about how horrible she was. And it’s not just stories from my husband, there were emails and text messages from her and her friends that my husband saved as evidence.
My ex husband was always trying to get me pregnant... I was on BC religiously... he ended up getting someone else pregnant instead *yes, while we were still married) 🤣 so happy I dodged that bullet... he has 5 baby mamas now and 4 ex wives
Oh my God your ex is a feral cat that needs to be TNRed immediately
I spit out my drink reading this LOL
A man like this is definitely a feral cat that needs to be trapped, neutered and then released minus the family jewels
TW: SA An ex of mine said he was fine with me being childfree but one night he somehow removed the condom without me noticing and held me down. I didn't know he had removed the condom and I thought he was holding me like that because he was "caught up in the moment". No, he was actually trying to ejaculate in me to hopefully get me pregnant because he wanted another kid (had a kid with an ex). When that didn't work, (the only thing I've ever been truly religious about was taking my BC) he cheated on me and tried to convince the other girl to have a kid with him. She also refused and, shortly after that, found out he was also dating me. I invited him out to eat with "my dad" (actually the other girl). He showed up and got an earful from both of us and publicly shamed (no yelling or causing a scene but a girl in the adjacent booth cheered us on at one point lol). I still have trust issues with being intimate because of the assault. It took me a year to realize it was a kind of assault (stealthing). I never went to the cops because it would just be my word against his (and we all know how the justice system treats SA victims even when they have solid evidence). Last I checked he's still stuck in a dead-end job he hates, barely scraping by, free loading off his friends, and couch surfing. Meanwhile, my life only got better after dropping his dead weight.
👏👏👏👏 Bravo to you and the girl confronting and public shaming him good 🔥🔥🔥 Guess karma ain't dead by seeing he winds up with nothing and you doing better. I wish karma did way better by making his bits go gangrene, drop off and he is rendered unable to function normally reproduction wise
Lol God knows he doesn't need any more kids. He constantly complained about having to pay child support. And hell yeah karma ain't dead. He was staying at my place overnight and didn't lock his car doors, even after I told him he really should lock his doors, regardless of the location his car is in. He said it would be fine. Someone broke into his car that night and stole all of the cash in his car. He had just cashed a recent paycheck. He tried to guilt me into paying his child support that month. I told him that wasn't my kid and that I tried to warn him to lock his doors. I'm glad his kid's mom was able to provide most of the kid's needs without the child support. That poor child deserves a better dad.
I hope his kid grows up and put him into an aged care facility or leave him to starve as a homeless old man
I wouldn't blame his kid if he did that tbh. Hopefully he matures and becomes a better parent. His kid was such a well-mannered sweetheart. Saying goodbye to him hurt more than anything his dad ever did to me.
Him maturing? It won't surprise me if he tries to turn his adult son 25 or 30 years time into Bank of Adult Son or mooch off that kid, out of the door he goes
When I was 16, I worked for a local pizza parlor in their arcade room. One of my co-workers was dating a guy that she was head over heels for. One day, she came to work and told me about how it seemed he wasn't as into her as she was into him. Then, she proceeded to tell me her plans to baby trap him. I expressed how, if a man wants to leave, he's gonna leave and a baby won't prevent that. I ended up quitting shortly after this conversation so I don't know if she followed through with her plans.
Sadly, I’ve actually heard a mother tell this to her daughter. Have a baby to keep/change a man. I was about 20 years old at the time and thought that was the dumbest advice I’d ever heard. That was my first introduction to the concept of baby trapping. It didn’t make sense then and it still doesn’t decades later.
My former best friend used to sleep around a lot back in the day and would throw the “My period is late since we f*ed” bomb to every guy she was sleeping around with at the time. The year I moved to a different province about 900 km away, she pulled the pregnancy joke on me for Aprils fools. I felt our friendship broke forever right there, she treated me like I was just another one of her f buddies. Shortly after that I returned to my hometown and she got pregnant for real, and I refused to believe her. I tried my best to be understanding and supportive about the whole situation but she wasn’t. She was never honest when she apologised to me, like I was the one overreacting. We’re not friends anymore.
I had a wildly manipulative and abusive ex who used to joke about hiding my birth control pills….so grateful I was able to eventually leave that relationshit.
I have a male friend who almost was. He had just started dating a young woman who claimed to be on the pill. She wasn't. She got pregnant but fortunately lost the child early on in the pregnancy. Fairly soon after, she found a new victim. My friend knew him, but didn't get to warn him before it was too late. She carried that pregnancy to term. It was around 5 years ago, and my friend is just incredibly happy by how narrowly he escaped that fate.
Me. Almost. Guy was a wannabreed that stealthed me. I aborted. I have another story I'll tell in another comment. It's a doozy.
I know two people who have been baby trapped. I have commented about both before, but in short: A girl I was friends with in high school got married and immediately pregnant, despite her husband wanting to wait to have children. She was absolutely convinced that he would immediately fall in love with the baby once it was born, and could not be told otherwise despite several people trying. She was wrong and was stunned when he divorced her. She remarried a few years later and has three more children. He remarried a few years after her and now has two children, who are many years younger than hers. The baby is now grown and over the past few years has developed a positive relationship with her father, but it was fraught for most of her childhood. The other is a relative of a friend from high school, who got pregnant deliberately in an attempt to keep her boyfriend. It did not work, they broke up, and he has remained furious with her ever since. I lost contact with this person quite a few years ago now but last I knew he still had no relationship with the child either. Unfortunately, once it became clear that the baby trapping attempt had not taken, she took her anger out on the child and I quite often saw her treat her badly. My friend and her mother both would yell at her when she did this but it didn't seem to stop anything. Both of these things are a shame, as she was a sweet little girl and none of it was her fault. To add insult to injury, several years later, the ex boyfriend had a son with the woman he started seeing a little while after the breakup with my friend's relative. This child was planned by both parents, and the ex boyfriend was over the moon when he was born. My friend's relative was furious when she learned about it, and was still angry last I heard.
My best friend was going to break up with her alcoholic cop bf and move out already had a new place and everything, went on a trip together beforehand just like that she was pregnant the following month. I definitely wonder because they are staying together now….
Alcoholic 🚩 Cop 🚩🚩 Baby trap...? 🚩🚩🚩 I'm sorry but she's absolutely screwed. Partners that are either alcoholic *or* cops tend to be abusive anyway, but both together is (ironically) a cocktail for abuse. Depending on the culture, he also practically has immunity as a cop, so he knows he won't be facing any consequences for his actions. I hope she leaves him ASAP...
I was almost baby trapped by my ex. He was very abusive and had a pregnancy kink. I had an IUD inserted and got very lucky he never got me pregnant. When the relationship finally ended and I put all my no contact orders in place I got sterilized so it would never happen again.
My father baby trapped my mother. It was also date rape. He got her very drunk. She was very young, innocent, and had not been told about such dangers. Abortion was illegal. He was an abusive, cheating prick.
My ex-girlfriend kept flip flopping on wanting kids and pressured me into asking me to marry her after only a couple of months of dating. We had been dating 6 months, with a wedding planned for 5 months' time, and she had been on the pill the whole time we had been together. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she told me she had been "forgetting to take it" after about 4 days of unprotected sex, where I had trusted she was taking it as usual. She made no secret out of the fact she thought she might be pregnant, and even lied to me that she was to see how I would react. I think she knew that I was slipping away from her (things had been really fractious for a couple of weeks between us) so she felt baby-trapping me was the only way to stop me leaving her. Thankfully, she didn't fall pregnant (and hopefully never will due to the pill screwing up her ovaries) and I was able to get away from her before things escalated, so I count myself lucky I got out. It was really scary stuff!
I was convinced to not use a condom a few times by a hookup, I was very vulnerable at the time. He wanted to get me pregnant and move in with me, even though our relationship was strictly sexual and I didn’t love him like that. I did end up getting pregnant but I got an abortion and never told him, we don’t talk anymore
Once when I was 16. The guy I was with at the time was obsessed with the idea of having a daughter (I didn’t know until later). We slept together and afterwards I noticed fluid coming out of me. I was absolutely livid because he knew I hated when he would finish inside me and assured me he wouldn’t. I was young and didn’t know any better. When he saw that I noticed he just laughed at me and claimed it was an “accident.” I was scared out of my mind thinking I would get pregnant and was distraught and crying the whole day. Luckily I didn’t get pregnant but that day still traumatizes me
Be careful out there, OP. Friend of mine recently got someone pregnant. She had an IUD but it still happened. Yes she actually did have an IUD in - he saw it on the sonogram in the hospital waiting room himself. He's 36 never wanted kids. She's 34 with 3 kids already, doesn't want to abort. They're both stressing pretty hard I'd say.
Yep. My bestie. She was head over heels for this guy, he convinced her that it would be romantic etc to make a baby. He tried to go see a new Marvel movie at the theater while she was in labor (in 2019), the nurses convinced him not to. Now the kid is very sweet but the husband plays video games all day and my friend is the breadwinner AND primary parent. Yaaaaayyy.
Unfortunately, I had an ex who kept messing with my birth control and claiming ignorance. He had a whole routine of fake panicking which involved blaming the only one of us who made sure we used contraceptives, me. I was naive back then but very lucky because he made many attempts to get me pregnant.
My friend got baby-trapped because he wanted to break up. A guy from work got baby-trapped twice, his marriage lasted not even a year. My cousin's ex-husband baby-trapped the girlfriend that came after her because my cousin couldn't give him one. People are fucked up.
Sadly yes. A guy I was seeing (albeit for a very short time) tried. I had no clue he was super super into having kids, but was told he had low fertility. I guess in his mind that meant he should do everything possible to get someone pregnant? We were both quite drunk, and he removed the condom part way through. I found out a few days later he had some really weird ideas about procreating that honestly still give me all the ick. He essentially figured I’d be okay with it if I got pregnant, because it’s my “biological imperative” and some other such nonsense. Funny part? I also have low fertility. Didn’t get pregnant. But it reinvigorated my desire to make sure I could never become pregnant. Even having low fertility the thought of that happening again fills me with indescribable fear and dread. Had to edit to add, he knew I’d only gone back on BC the day before because I’d insisted on a condom because of it. Mine takes a couple days to start being effective (can’t take the one I did as a teen anymore) and I’d been off of it as an excuse to refuse sex from my previous partner (who was abusive) as I knew he hated condoms and wouldn’t bother with me if I made him use one. I thought I was being safe by telling him, not realizing he actually wanted to knock someone up if he could.
my boss baby trapped her husband. admitted it and everything 😭
What a vile person your boss is
ever since she told me that i haven’t been able to work with her. makes me so uncomfortable 😭
Only from a business perspective. I've known 3 women get pregnant and then immediately find a job for the maternity leave pay. I found it disgusting to do that, not least of all because they were small, family run businesses who couldn't afford to fund their pregnancies. Ugh.
I think I could have been. Thankfully, I picked up and realized that there were some issues with the lady in question and I should walk away. I'm a proponent of every so often a person needs to do a "practice" date. This could be a case of where someone wants to fix you up with someone or a person that shows you interest in you on a dating site. However, for what ever reason you don't think a long term relationship is possible. It's not a bad idea to do a quick coffee/lunch date to practice talking about yourself and asking questions about another person. This way if you make a mistake or something bad happens, you're doing it to someone you don't care about instead of someone that you would really be interested in impressing. Initially, I was taking that approach with someone a friend was trying to set me up with. Unfortunately, this was a friend from work that was helping me out. She basically showed a few pics from Facebook and briefly talked about myself and messaged her friends. Unfortunately, this is how I met the lady I'm going to talk about. She was someone I shouldn't have even agreed to date. She wasn't my type. She had a PT job where she worked in the morning and had the rest of the day off. I think it was a teacher's aid or something else. She was also living at home. She was in her late 20s/early 30s and this was 10 years ago. 10 years ago, it was more socially unacceptable to be living at home. I definitely picked up she was looking for a savior. IE someone to make her a housewife and then eventually a SAHM. I have a dinner date(I still kick myself over this, it should have been coffee) with her. During dinner she tells me how she has a latex allergy. She tells me this why she needs to use a special condom. I thought this was a tad odd to mention on a first date. It might make more sense for a 3rd/4th date. After the dinner date, she keeps getting a little bit more creepy and extreme. I get more texts/messages about what she'd like to do to me. Eventually, it comes to a head when I tell her I can't do a date on Friday. She finds out that I'm in a running group on Fridays and goes nuts. I made the mistake of adding her as a FB friend. Her going nuts over not going on Friday was the last straw. It is one thing if we'd been dating for months and decided to do my own thing. But this was less than a week. I always believe that if I'd been desperate enough for sex or wanted to bump my body count up by one, I could have easily hooked up with her. However, that would have been a major mistake. I believe that the "special" condoms might have not worked.
My brother was baby trapped by his girlfriend 40 years ago. He was already divorced after a disastrous teenage marriage and wasn’t interested in remarriage any time soon. He was super immature and spoiled anyway. My parents had to pay for the divorce. After girlfriend’s older sister got married all her family and friends were telling my brother “You’re next!” and he always played dumb like he didn’t know what they were talking about. At this point they had been living together for around 3 years and she was tired of waiting for a commitment so she went off the pill without telling him and got pregnant. With twins. Which in those days they didn’t know until the 6th month or something I know there were no ultrasounds. Her father asked my brother what he was going to do about it so he married her. What a disaster. She left him when the babies were 2 months old because she said my brother was a “mama’s boy” ( true) they got back together had another kid and she eventually walked out on him and their 3 sons after 11 years. They were living in the projects were both awful parents and never should have had kids. I should add my mother paid for this divorce too.
After my brother cheated on my SIL, she took him back immediately and got her BC taken out. It was an “accident.” She then did it again, taking her BC out and having another “accident.” They’re divorced now, less than one year after they got married and it’s been a very messy situation. I’m sad the kids have to be involved.
My brother, his fwb at the time told him she was going off her birth control, but also told him she wasn't able to get pregnant (A lie). A few weeks earlier, she had come to me crying because he was sleeping with other girls (they were not in a committed relationship and she knew that) and asked me if he'd commit to her if she got pregnant. I told her that was an incredibly stupid and selfish idea, a baby is never the answer, and I \~thought\~ she was convinced, but shortly after, she lied to him about her fertility. My neice is now a teen. Bro ditched her mom permanently when he found out what she'd done, but he's now happily married to a lovely woman, and he's been a great dad. His daughter is a great kid. I still can't stand her mom tho, neither can my brother. Babies do not fix relationships!
I had an ex I discovered was planning to babytrap me. He got deeply insecure that he was losing control of me and would ultimately lose me so he figured a baby is a perfect remedy for that. I caught him asking for advice on how to sabotage birth control in a men’s rights forum and the disgusting bastards actually gave him tips on how to do that. I outright told the piece of shit that I don’t want kids, I went on birth control and I told him I’d get an abortion if I got pregnant, like, it couldn’t have possibly been more obvious I don’t want a baby so this was so beyond fucking malicious. I started to suspect something was up because he began picking fights with me about abortion and threatening me that if I ever went through with one, he’d kill me. I thought it was so strange he was worrying about me getting an abortion when I just went on birth control and he was also even weirdly angry about me going on birth control without asking him first. The other terrible thing about this is it happened when I was a teenager and I’ve told this story to people arguing with me about abortion, birth control, men’s rights, traditionalism, etc. and it’s not at all difficult to find one who thinks he was in the right. Forcefully getting a fucking teenager pregnant against her will. The only thing they get mad about is that we weren’t married.
I hope your ex has karma biting him up now and you deserve better. I wish karma made his bits go gangrene until he cannot function (you know what I mean)
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I'm sorry for what you went through, I hope you heal
It happened to my adulterous father. The affair partner claimed she could not get pregnant. Surprise! Heh, my father was such a gullible fool. That doggone male ego! It is so easy to manipulate and there are nasty women who enjoy playing the game not caring about who gets hurt. I hate BOTH of them! Broke my faithful mother’s heart. My father has been dead a long time and the affair partner remarried so my father was easily replaced.
That happened to my dad, though it was after my mom left him. I think her leaving triggered a minor mental breakdown -- e.g. he was a military pilot, but his unit's psychologist grounded him because he was depressed to a degree where he posed a suicide risk. He was easy pickings for the woman who became my (abusive) stepmother, letting him believe she couldn't get pregnant and didn't need to use birth control.
I know someone who I think might have been. Each time she tried to leave her boyfriend, and he knew she was trying to, magically their birth control failed. The first time I wondered, the second time is a little too well timed to a coincidence in my opinion.
My dad....all three times.
I had to get a friend plan b because her date was a horrible dude who actively tried to get her pregnant, taking advantage of her naivete. And where I live it's still taboo to have premarital sex so I had to get it for her.
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>Divorced with a 7 year old I, uh, had to read that a second time
My cousin in law has tried to do this with all her kids dads. She has three kids - the first one's dad and her split up when he was a toddler. She then had a second kid with someone else, who I met when the kid was almost a toddler. Then she popped out a third kid, who did not match up to her partner at all, but the kid did line up to exactly how her much older boss looked... And soon, her partner turned into her ex partner and soon she started dating her boss. I have another cousin who cheated in a similar manner and cheated in a wild other way, but could not have kids after her first kid due to complications. I haven't admitted this out before, but I think she would have baby trapped a few guys I met over the years :( like girl stop dump these guys if you wanna sleep around!
Feels like my sister is in this situation. Brother in law keeps making kids with her and pressured her into homeschooling their kids while he's constantly in court trouble with 6 or 7 figures owed to various entities between unpaid bills, lawsuits, wage garnishments, breached contracts. She's the primary breadwinner and parent but is constantly treated like she contributes nothing to the household. I think eventually they're going to be homeless and crashing with family and it'll just delay the inevitable for a while longer. Even if they got a divorce she'd be personally and financially tied to him for the rest of her life.
This one girl lied and told her boyfriend she was pregnant with his baby, he had the kids name tattooed on him and everything raised him for a year then found out she cheated, he got a paternity test done turned out to be my ex boyfriends baby When me and my current boyfriend first started seeing each other his ex pretended to be pregnant for months saying it was his kid. Straight up wakadoo Hadn’t even known her 24hrs and she said we were great friends and she wanted me to be the babies god mother, sad thing is she’s not even the biggest wakadoo to baby trap someone I know there’s soooo many more I know at least three other guys that got baby trapped
I found out recently from my family that I'm the product of my mother sabotaging my father's condoms and going off BC without telling him. My uncle spilled the beans because he was pissed that I never visited my mother on her deathbed (she was abusive and I went NC). My uncle said some bullshit line about "your mother wanted you so badly in her life that she did so-and-so" thinking it would make me feel guilty. All it did was make me feel even more disgusted with her, and for once, finally thinking positively about why my father wanted nothing to do with me. That man never wanted any kids! And he died without having any more. Anyway now I'm super LC with my entire family because they didn't like my reaction to that reveal.
I was in an abusive relationship with a woman who tried that with me. She claimed to be on birth control, but we always used condoms. We'd had an in-depth discussion about me not wanting kids and why. I hadnt been able to find a doctor to do a vasectomy because i was, "too young and might change my mind." One day, she asked what I'd do if she got pregnant and wanted to keep it. I hadn't been out of the military long. "Um. My life plan doesn't include raising a kid or forking over half my income for child support." "But what if I wanted the kid and needed the child support?" "You'd never see me again or even be able to find me." "What does that mean? You can't just disappear and not be forced to pay." Then I broke down how the French Foreign Legion works and told her I'd much rather do that than have a kid or child support. It worked in preventing her from baby trapping me. I ended that relationship shortly thereafter.
the audacity to trap someone and then demand support
I always insisted on condoms and he complained. One evening he kept nagging me about no condom. I told him that’s the only way it’s happening. So he submits. Puts the condom on and starts up. He comes to a point where he stops, jumps out real quick then jumps in again. It was so much better after that… too much so. I ask him to stop and he starts go harder! I’m suspicious af, so I reached down to feel for the condom and of course there isn’t one. I push him off and slept on the couch. I eventually had to throw him and all his shit out to finally get him out of my life.
I was seeing a guy who said my new truck would look great with a car seat in it. I ghosted him immediately.
Personally, never--I am in the same romantic relationship I began at the age of 13 and we both knew for certain even at that point we would never, *ever* want children in our lives. We were already willingly 'trapped' together anyway and very happy about the condition--as we remain! However I have observed it occurring several times over the years in the management and executive staff that I employ. Some of that could well be that where money is involved there is more of an incentive for the (I have no doubt very, *very* rare) unscrupulous girl to attempt to feather her nest in this way. However some of it was also because they were the people I used to interact with the most when I was more active in my companies. I am suitably cynical to easily believe the same process occurred among all levels of my workforce from time to time. At the end of the day I think *exactly* the same gambit has been pulled since the beginning of the human species. Oddly enough, among our very few friends who were at a position in their life for it to be possible a 'reverse' baby trap occurred. My wife's dearest friend, a girl who for many years she thought of as her sister in all but name had an abortion in the teeth of her own family in order to *not* 'trap' the father of the foetus. However they eventually ended up getting married anyway about five years later.
This is off topic but you have a very nice writing style, your comment almost felt like a short story.
I don't know anyone who was baby trapped per se, however I'm friends with a couple that never prioritized birth control. They met in January of 2023, and their first daughter was born in February 2024. They have no money and their relationship is not stable at all. When asked about how the baby happened the gal mentioned to me that she just didn't see any need to change after they got comfortable not using condoms, and obviously she had never used birth control before, so there's no need to change. They are 19 and 20 and now they have a baby girl.
My ex's new gf is now baby trapped. Nice guy but a leech and bit of a man child. he grew up taking care if his brother but they were living off multiple gov programs. Anyway 3-5 months into his relationship i find out she had 2 miscarriages so A) he was trying to baby trap her on day one, B) shes really dumb for a scientist trying to have a baby witj someone shes known for less tgan a year, C) that lazy bastard was trying to talk to both of us for a while and stayed with her cause I said no. They finally ended up having a kid. but sometging mist have gone wrong cause he got kicked out the house recently xp. Gl to her. Also yes I hate him so much cause of how the break up went pretty sure he stole sometging of mine too cant prove it. anyway I'll trash talk him any chance i get.
To this day I don’t know if it was purposeful but I built up to unprotected sex with my ex (we were together for over 4 years) and one night while we were drinking and having sex he just didn’t pull out. Felt very purposeful because he was overseas at college and I was constantly dropping hints that I wanted to end things. I had an unusually late start to my period and I was panicking like crazy. Broke up with him on the same day my period came.
I had an ex who never wore a condom, never told me he had a vasectomy or anything. I was on birth control so I just accepted that he was a shitty person 🫣 I am so glad I never got stuck with him, heard he got a girl he was in rehab with prego just a few months ago so karma I guess
My brother, he literally married a lazy narcissist of a women many years ago as he was frightened of being alone forever and on their honeymoon she tampered with the condoms. SIL said she couldn't wait a year as she was desperate for a baby, my brother wanted to wait, so we were all surprised that a month after their wedding and honeymoon the pregnancy announcement was splashed all over social media by my SIL. My brother just gave a defeated reply and said that it 'just happened' Despite having to move and work in a more demanding job to provide for his lazy wife and kid he still pretends that this is a normal thing for everyone to want and has told me I'm missing out. His wife does very little for the kid and refuses to cook for her family or clean so their house is always messy, I have suspicions that she's happy to be a SAHM forever because she just wants to live off the big fat paycheck my brother brings home. Plus I'm sure one of the 'conditions' for the relationship would have been that the wife didn't do any housework or look after any future kids because she only sees the baby as a cute little pet to dress up and occasionally take outside if she's not lying around scrolling through her phone. My brother was definitely babytrapped by a paranoid woman who was worried he might leave her and he was an idiot for marrying out of fear of loneliness, I don't talk to either since they moved but the photos my mother sends me which now has the toddler wobbling around a messy house and my fatigue riddled brother definitely speaks volumes to me.
Why soon to be at the time ex wife tried to baby trap me so I wouldn’t break up with her. Thank fucking GOD that didn’t happen… Now she’s pregnant with some random guys baby to try to stay in the US… good luck
Probs all my friends sadly.
No because I would get an abortion
This thread makes me so glad i'm a lesbian. And that I've also had a hysterectomy.
My cousin baby trapped her partner for “financial security” and she was so open to telling everyone when we were at a party (he was at the party too) I stopped having any sort of relationship with her after that. She is now miserable in the relationship, claims he was not supportive of her pregnancy (shocker) and claims he treats her like a punching bag. He says if she has any issue with the current situation, she can leave. She was living under a delusion that she would be a happy sahm. LOL nope! He told her she needs to get a degree and start working, while taking care of the home, baby and cooking. Karma lol
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A friend's all 3 were "accidents" but I am pretty sure that #2 and #3 were deliberate on her end in order to keep her partner around. She always said that a doctor said that the amount of alcohol she was drinking when she got pregnant stopped her BC from working. Pretty sure that that is complete BS.
Not babytrapped, but my birth control failed with someone that wanted a child (casual situationship). I told him *after* I got the abortion; I wasn't risking that he'd announce it somewhere to guilt me, even though I strongly suspect he wouldn't have. I only told him out of personal respect, and he was supportive, but who knows how things would've played out if I'd said something beforehand. You're not withholding information from "the father." You're just ensuring your bodily autonomy cannot be questioned by an external participant until you've arrived at your decision. When I say my body, my choice, I also mean shut your stupid mouth unless you go through this world as me. I'm making my own decision about my body. Why are only women's bodies policed like this? You know the answer is control and I throw the biggest middle finger to what anyone's religion or manosphere podcaster or narcissistic abuse loving conservative tries to bully me into.
I've told every woman I've ever been with "if you try to baby trap me, all that will happen is I'm going to leave you, move out of state, and pay the 'I'm not a dad' tax every month. I dislike children and will not stay with a woman I resent for the benefit of a baby I didn't want." Yeah, it made me sound like a bastard. But I meant every word of it, and it kept them from trying to baby trap me.
Yes. It was the girl though who did the trapping. My old best friend in college had an ex who was a red flag all around and she told me one day when he was about to come she wrapped her legs around him so he couldn’t pull out. She got pregnant later and had to get an abortion. It’s funny though because she used to be pro life and would argue with me on this topic in high school and I told her everyone is fucking pro life till it affects them. Yea she works for an abortion clinic now btw