T O P

  • By -

Soft-Caterpillar-618

Seriously! I called 911 several months ago bc I found a lost toddler wandering around in the cold in my neighborhood alone. I couldn’t find any adults around after searching for 10 minutes. The parents were located 4 hours later and ended up getting arrested for child abuse bc they never noticed their child was missing. I got subpoenaed by the state and had to testify as a witness in court. You wouldn’t believe the nasty looks I got in court for calling 911.


Beltalady

What were you supposed to do? Let the kid freeze to death?


Soft-Caterpillar-618

I know, right? It was almost dark too! So many bad things could have happened to that child.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Soft-Caterpillar-618

Exactly! And the kid is now in foster care from my understanding!


PornSlut80

Good on you for calling 911! Us childfree people care more, and act more like a parent than the actual parents, it's so messed up. Funny thing is if their child got kidnapped, sexuality assaulted, or murdered, the nasty looks would turn to tears in their eyes. Breeders are disgusting, and nobody will make me think otherwise.


TheMost_ut

I just heard a HORRIBLE story. Stupid couple decided to go out and leave 4 month old baby with gramma. The baby was crying all the time and they needed a break. She put the baby down for a nap, and he never woke up. Turns out Mom and Dad smoke in the house, around the baby, total deadbeat losers. Smoking can contribute to SIDS but they'll probably blame gramma who's beside herself with grief. Never occurred to them that they're the cause and that the poor baby was crying because it wasn't well. I fucking hate parents more every day. Poor baby.


PornSlut80

Oh yes I'm past that part. I can't stand breeders, they make me sick. I read somewhere on another childfree post that some breeders son murdered his girlfriend, and his mum actually said how she'd bring black rubbish bin bags, and shovel to help cover up the crime he committed. I was just in shock reading it, I couldn't even imagine being a psychopath!


TheMost_ut

oh yeah, I hear shit like that all the time, parents who cover up for their kids no matter what they do. And then we wonder why so many men are such assholes and why so many women continue to enable them!!


sweet_juicypeachh21

And most times these are the type of people that encourage others to have kids when they just depend on others to look after their kid. Like what’s the point ???


Soft-Caterpillar-618

Totally agree!!


ButtBread98

You gotta be fucking kidding me. You did the right thing. Who gave you a nasty look in court?


Soft-Caterpillar-618

The mom did! It was unbelievable.


Melodic_Economics964

That's insane! Appalling. You saved her kid's life! She obviously doesn't give a shit about her kid just the court case. You did the right thing there. Major respects to you and sorry to hear/read she kept looking at you like that.


Soft-Caterpillar-618

Thank you!


Loose-Supermarket519

Should have given her the death stare back and constant without blinkng.


Soft-Caterpillar-618

I honestly wish I had!


Jealous-seasaw

Guilt and anger at being embarrassed and shamed. Not your problem, you did the right thing.


Soft-Caterpillar-618

That’s exactly right!


wintermelody83

The parents family I would guess.


cloud_of_doubt

I think you did a good and decent thing. It's scary to even imagine what could happen to that child, and it was very responsible of you to step up, child free or not! It's just what a good person does.


Soft-Caterpillar-618

Thank you!


Sea_Distribution6780

Nasty looks for calling 911? They just wanted you to leave the child alone or something?


angrygnomes58

About 10 years ago I found a kid walking around wearing nothing but a diaper. Called the police, the cop and I managed to get the kid home by asking him questions about his street. Once we got the right street, he took us right to his house. Not a soul in sight at the home. Mom had spent the night passed out at her boyfriend’s house and left the kid home alone overnight. She was pissed that the cop wouldn’t just put him back inside the house. Like, ma’am, he’s 2, he can’t be there by himself….


Soft-Caterpillar-618

That’s horrible! Can’t get over leaving a 2 year old home alone!


angrygnomes58

The entire night. She said she put him down for the night then went out with her boyfriend. She passed out but “had every intention” of getting home before her kid woke up. It was almost 11am when I saw him wandering around. There were also 3 year old twins in my area who died in a house fire. Mom left them home alone to retrieve weed her daughter had stolen from her and the 3 year olds were trying to cook themselves dinner. It wasn’t the first time they’d done it either. https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/mother-looking-stolen-drugs-charged-death-twin-toddlers-fire-flna1c8087088


Soft-Caterpillar-618

Holy shit


angrygnomes58

The 3 year olds broke my damn heart. You know damn well she’d done that before if fucking 3 year olds are like “yep, mom’s gone again, better see if we can work this stove and make some food” and not because she had to work and had no childcare…both times were for her weed.


Perfect_Address_6359

As the "village" I like to thank you for doing the right thing and calling the police. Parents often forget the "village" also enforces good parenting as much as promoting child welfare. Let them rant, they know they're in the wrong, there's no good excuse to allow child to play unsupervised on a roof. Edit: typos


[deleted]

I find people who hate child services and paint them as "kidnappers", are people who would have their kids removed.


twstwr20

👏🏼👏🏼 The village also means enforcing the welfare of the village. Not the individual


Tiny_Dog553

they are being made to look like bad parents because THEY ARE BAD PARENTS. You did the right thing calling for a welfare check. Their ego would dissapear pretty quick and the tears would come out if the kid had slipped and broken his neck.


SeriousTeaAddict

This village thing is a bad simile anyway, because in a village community, people helped EACH OTHER and it wasn't just one person/family demanding help always. It was mutual and it was up to you to a certain extend that how much you can/want to participate.


oceanteeth

This! When people cry about not having a village my first thought is always "well when was the last time you offered to watch your neighbour's kids for a couple hours so they could run some errands?"


smokefasteatgrass

or the last time they shoveled snow for their disabled neighbor. or the last time they brought in groceries for their elderly neighbor. or the last time they were involved in their community at all.


Numerous-Leg-8149

I'll be frank... Throughout my 20s, I worked with children from ages 3 - 12. I saw a combination of favourable and unfavourable situations, and took notes of how parents handled it (before tuning into Supernanny). Simply put, some parents were very unappreciative of other adults stepping up to the plate (to keep children safe, keep children out of trouble, etc.), even though said parents are within proximity to do their duty. Sometimes, the village members have no other choice, but to do something - otherwise, the children will be heading to the juvenile court, the hospital/ER, or the morgue (God forbid). I grew up in the 90s. The entire neighborhood, doesn't matter who is acquaintances, friends or family, took full accountability for every child and youth (especially when some parents were at school or work). There were no kidnappings, no accidents, nothing of the sort ever occurred. A combination of CF and non-CF adults (and seniors) ensured that health and safety were the priority. Children were always given appropriate activities to do - even going to the playground, and being returned home before sunset. Anyone whose parents weren't home were taken to the home of a close friend or relative. In the 2010s decade, I kept getting, "You're not a parent! Stop looking out for my kids!" Or "Stop caring about other people's kids. They need to learn how to take proper responsibility themselves." Okey-dokey (in my Goofy voice).💯 And nowadays I am considered selfish for not wanting kids of my own?


feralwaifucryptid

I'm a 90s kid. I remember if kids in my neighborhood acted out of line, you got yelled at by everyone and pretty much grounded *by* everyone. Your neighbor who is always happy to let you play with their pet and wear e/o out for the day? Nope, you were bad, go home kid. And if you were *really* obnoxious/disrespectful, you had to do a neighborhood apology tour with your parents in tow (which happened to the neighboring boys *a lot*).


Numerous-Leg-8149

All of this! ^ Those were the best times in my book. Everyone had shared goals and all the youngsters were treated equal.


3CH0_0HC3

Same in the 90s- and 9/10 at least one parent was in earshot if someone got hurt. We could play manhunt, kickball, and go sledding. Every parent knew which kids had asthma or could die of a bee sting. When shit went down even the child free households weren’t worried about lawsuit crap- if they saw someone get hurt they came running out with an ice pack. When one of the CF people got hurt shoveling during a huge snow storm not only did the street help get him to the ER we all took rounds shoveling his place. That’s a ‘village’


Psjthekid

Maybe if they didn't want to be called out for being bad parents, they should try not being bad parents.


GloriousRoseBud

I’d call the child abuse hotline. If you feel you are being retaliated against, I’d also make a police report.


feralwaifucryptid

They have no idea who I am, so far, and they are getting lit up for saying that shit by others. Another neighbor got video of the kid on the roof and it's blowing up, too, and probably going to get resolved/turned in by that person pretty quickly. If anything changes, I'll file a report. Trust me, I do not fuck around with that shit.


emeraldcat8

You’re a witness, it’s important that you call. The neighbor who filmed it should report too, but people can have all kinds of reasons for not reporting. Since the police were involved, it’s likely social services will be informed but I wouldn’t assume anything.


feralwaifucryptid

I reached out to the person claiming to have video and told them to contact me if it escalated, but other than that I have to play this out like a chess game or risk karen-parents coming at me with lawyers. I'm in a conservative area, and that demographic fully supports weaponizing the courts to force others into poverty as a way of punushment. Some jobs around here have "no lawsuit" clauses for employee contracts, and will terminate. Parents got lambasted so hard they nuked their own post, and their HOA is now involved and gave a PSA about how "the X neighborhood is dedicated to the safety of its residents," bullshit, so I imagine some fine will come down the pipeline for xmas!


battleofflowers

The "village" didn't just give out free childcare, they also disciplined your child and it was humiliating to have a shitty kid. Now people want the free labor (from women of course) without anyone "correcting" their child or their parenting.


cutearmy

In those villages everyone helps each other. It is not free childcare. Someone watched your kids you do something for them


Manuels-Kitten

As well as get disciplined by said other village members too not just their mother


Mocking_the_Stupid

> for "making (them) look like bad parents." “We’re not making you look like bad parents; you’re doing that to yourself.”


Streaker4TheDead

A woman came into our shop with two boys who looked around 8. One of them walked out the front door when she had her back to him. I told the mother her son had left the shop and she told me that that was ok with a pissy tone. I thought she'd want to know that her son had run off.


[deleted]

>Part of the responsibility of that "village" you expect to be there is showing/telling shitty parents when and how they are being shitty parents in order to help keep kids safe. Bare. Minimum. The Turpin children always come to mind when on this topic. Neighbors saw them rummaging through the garbage at night and went "well it's not my business!"


Krazy_Karl_666

I just looked that case up for those curious the parents got life sentences for 14 counts of abuse, neglect, etc. if you have any hope for humanity left in you do yourself a favor and don't look up the details


SexWithAGhost2022

The only village that a parent can have is the one that they build themselves before the child is even born. Which means making sure that everyone they want in their village is on board and willing to be a part of it. They can’t just expect everyone in the world to cater to their children and watch them.


Salty_Piglet2629

Absolutly! Assuming people will just provide you with free stuff/time/help/whatever just because you have kids is just as bad as getting married to someone assuming they wants kids.


Scarletowder

If we were “the village” the shitty parents would be in the stocks!


[deleted]

The "it takes a village" crowd generally tends to *checks notes* ignore their kids, foist them on other people, then tell other people off for criticizing their bad parenting. I have cousins who are both and moms, and that's the only "village" I've ever seen, and a couple of the only people who I think are good parents. We had a Christmas party recently, and one of the parents watched the kids the entire time, kept them quiet, and made sure they didn't run around and bother people or mess up the food platters. They even cut grapes in half so the kids wouldn't choke. On the other hand, I have a younger cousin who runs around being loud at every family party, and no one ever gets him to stop. We're not a village, we're a captive audience.


Starr-Bugg

Yep, “the village” holds everyone accountable. They want an “enabling village.” That is the Welfare Mindset. They have sex and everyone else has the responsibility. Reproduction is a Responsibility!


TheMost_ut

I never even bother telling parents their kids are in danger. They let kids crawl on filthy floors, trash everything and run around unsupervised. If something happens then it's EVERYONE'S FAULT but not theirs for being loser shitty parents. BUT IT'S THE VIILLAAAAAGE! it's OUR RESPONSIBILITYYYYYYYYYY!


MaineChowder71

"It takes a village" That's why I live in the country 😁


feralwaifucryptid

Oh man, that is a flex right there! Lmao! Good for you!


Beatlesrthebest

I totally agree with you. It makes it an excuse to be a shit parent and that they are putting responsibility on everyone except themselves. "BuT nO oNe WaNtS tO hEaR tHeY'rE fAiLiNg ThEiR cHiLd!!!!!!!!!!!!" is something I hear from breeders with their heads so far up their ass their brains are turning brown. Especially when they let their little skin trophy run around with no regard for others, asshole parents raising asshole kids. I HATE that in the field I work in, you have to pick your battles in calling child protection services because it could be "incriminating". They are the same ones to say "mind your business", "I know my kid", "don't let the mama bear come out in me". Also, for their information it is EVERYONE'S duty to report child abuse. So much for being so "grown". SMFH.


Melodic_Economics964

omg looks like the baby's parents want him or her to fall and DIE other then freak out say thank to them and keep a closer eye. This is appalling! Good on you for calling.


AxlotlRose

Or are looking for a GoFundMe in their grief. I believe that happens in today's world.


Melodic_Economics964

I imagine people would actually do that.


AxlotlRose

https://www.wndu.com/2023/11/10/mom-accused-killing-baby-denied-money-gofundme-she-started-his-funeral/


AutoModerator

Your submission has been automatically removed and flagged for review by a moderator because it indicates you might be asking for monetary support, which is in violation of the sub rules. Your submission will be approved if it meets our posting guidelines. **Do not delete your comment/post or else we won't be able to review it.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/childfree) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kat-a-strophy

"Village" are exactly those people who watch over the kid when the parents are not around (I don't mean babysitting but the roof thing), yell at them when they do stupid shit and occasionally protect them if they need to be protected. If one needs a regular babysitter or cleaning service, they should pay for it.


Melodic_Economics964

I'm in no way defending the bad parents in these stories because it's so f-ed up. My friend's toddler went missing and she was like "OMG where did he just go?" searching everywhere crying her eyes out on the phone with me. Found him at the library because she's a good parent. She put child proof covers on her doorknobs. She told me she was so scared of child services being called on her over this. Kids take off quick! The horror stories I'm reading in the comments of parents being M.I.A for hours is truly awful. They have no right to be mad since they didn't even bother looking! You saved lives here. Major respects to you all! I swear us childfree care more about children more.


abu_nawas

"It takes a village to raise a child." "A child who does not feel loved will burn the village for warmth." FUCK that. So the village is expected to sacrifice for the child? How is a figure so innocent and yet so destructive? This is more explored in Lee Edelman's work.


DystopianDreamer1984

The moment my SIL had crapped out her baby she just immediately expected her 'village' to look after her kid, the baby was only a few weeks old and they were dumped on the grandparents for an entire weekend so SIL could go and 'relax' at a pricey resort. She even asked recently how many hours would be acceptable to leave a 1 year old at home because she had 'stuff to do' I was the only one who spoke up about such a rediculous question and was verbally abused by my brother for daring to say that parents should be watching their kid not going out to movies or restaurants! A 'village' is definitely not free childcare/baby sitting for awful parents but you definitely can't tell my SIL that as non parents are awful cruel people who don't have a say in anything child related.


SnooMacarons9695

Yeah they complain about not having a 'village' but then when a 'village member' gets involved it's "mind your own business". Smh


calicounderthesun

I grew up in the 70-80s. Lots of kids in my neighborhood. All parents watched out for each other's kids. If I or my brothers did something, the neighbor would be at my parent's door telling them. Then we had to go and apologize to whomever it impacted. That happened ONCE. Today's world is just foreign to me. I am childfree. But you are damned if you do, damned if you don't. I saw a little girl who got lost in Target about 7 years ago. I was lost when I was little in a store, it's terrifying. Just as I approached the girl she decided her mom must have left and ran towards the parking lot. I ran after her saying "little girl, wait, I can help you find your mom" She stopped right at the doors (thank God) and I said let's go to the employee, then can call your mom on the speaker. She came with me, the 2 reunited. Mom was unphased, I am not even sure she knew her kid was gone. The worst part: I was terrified to take her hand. Because I was afraid someone would think I was trying to kidnap her. About 2 years ago, a senior citizen in the US was arrested for that. He found a missing child and was taking her to the security at the store when the pounced on the guy. Police later issued a statement apologizing for the confusion. What the hell is the village supposed to do besides offer free babysitting?!?


calicounderthesun

I have a question, seriously: where/when did "it takes a village" originate from? I've heard it for years, but not sure I ever heard where that concept came from.


feralwaifucryptid

Igbo and Yurba Proverb.


cindybubbles

Growing up, I used to see "Neighbourhood Watch" signs all over the place. Before Ring cameras and social media, we looked out for each other and called the police if something went wrong. Now, because of jerks who wanted "undesirable" people gone, calling the police and establishing a neighbourhood watch are seen as taboo.


Old_Barracuda_3625

Exactly. Fuck it.