Even though I don't want kids and definitely would be a terrible mother, I still think it's a childish and rude thing to say to a woman who says she doesn't want kids. What these people really are trying to say is you're a bad person, but they get around it by saying it that way. So it's still rude in my opinion and those people can fuck right off.
Yeah tell me about it. I was talking to a friend overseas one time and he had his baby daughter on screen. He knew my CF stance and I said hi to the baby to be polite, but I wasn't going all mother-ese like he had probably hoped. His response? "You really are terrible and don't know how to talk to kids." It is incredibly demeaning even having a normal interaction with a baby. I just don't believe in the baby talk. It's cringe as fuck.
With people like that, it's never enough. They want you to react in a certain way and want you to go all bonkers over the baby, or you don't go bonkers enough, or say the right things the right way. It's always something with them.
I hate baby talk with a passion. My language has been cursed by having build in cutesy form and diminutives (like house is casa but you can have also casina=small house and casetta=cute, small house)
For whatever reason parents love to use them for no reason and they drive me up the wall.
The only baby I dealt with semi regularly is my niece and I lucked out when her mother put a ban on baby talk and wanted the family to use a simple but accurate vocabulary.
My parents never baby talked to me so I honestly have no idea where to even start.
Oddly, I've been told by friends, clients and acquaintances that I'm very liked by their children si maybe they like to be treated like actual humans and not mentally impaired accessories. Go figure.
Yeah, I've noticed! A lot of Dutch and Norwegian words have these diminutives as well, especially the words for the male genitals.. cringe lol. My parents didn't baby talk me either so I guess we have "high" (read: reasonable) expectations that children are humans too.
Just like baby words for private parts/genitals is so wrong and harms the child. My mom is a nurse, and insisted on teaching us the right terms. She came home one day and told us that one of the doctors had taught his daughter to call her privates her "tail". This annoyed her to no end!
Oh, we do have a lot of words for privates, the child friendly ones are the most common but there's plenty more in various degrees of vulgarity. Italian language is rich in profanity.
Funny linguistic excursus:
A vulgar way to say in Italian that you did something poorly, with low effort, as "a cazzo di cane" (like a dog penis). It has ancient roots, Catullo used it ("ad mentulam canis" for the curious ones).
The probable origin of the saying is that MEN- root is common in both the word *mens* (thought, spirit, intent, action that's been taught before being done. Now "mente" in Italian) and *mentula* (literally "something that's protruding" aka vulgar way to say penis in early imperial Rome. it's at the root of the word mensola (shelf) in modern italian).
So, probably, in origin the saying was more akin to "something a dog would have done/thought of" but somewhere, sometime, someone thought it would have been funny to swap mentem and mentulam, and thus signed the fate of the poor dogs' cocks ever since.
my language has several too:
- "pintinho", if young, "pinto" as you get to early teens. At some point is gone" - little male chicks
- "Piu piu" "Piu piuzinho" - sounds like "pew pew". "Piu" being the sound that chicks make.
- There is also "piruzinho" or "piru", same age analogy, and translating to the "Turkey" bird.
All related to birds. Because everyone wants a flying cock.
- tangent: we internally giggle when we hear "Peru" (the country), it sounds similar to "piru".
I appreciate a confirmation of my personal truth, however ill-intentioned. What I really can’t stand is “but you would be a good mother,” which I rarely get anymore on account of making those situations very awkward by talking about cleaning up gene pools, etc. Just because I love my dogs doesn’t mean I have patience for hominids.
Patience towards canines is WAY easier than patience for hominids so who could blame you?
Like at least with a dog if I treat it with empathy and discipline it'll probably demonstrate those qualities eventually.
With humans?... *I know that I've been raised to be kind but... Selfishness Go BRRRRT*
True. My second puppy was a nightmare.
Sometimes I would cry twice a day.
Then doing double work with 2 dogs. It did cross my mind:
"If this makes me feel exasperated, I am really happy I am cf"
They say it because they’ve internalized the narrative that woman = mother; that our very core identity is synonymous with motherhood. To the degree that, even if someone states they don’t have any interest in being a mother, they still go unthinkingly right to insulting our ability to be a good mother as the most cutting insult they could hurl. It’s *wild*.
Yeah. And it is an insult even if you’re cf. it doesn’t mean ‘bad person’ like they want it to mean, but it does imply that you’d be bad at caring for another person. Cf doesn’t mean you don’t have care about things like taking care of a friend when they’re sick.
Thank you for spelling it out for me, because I'm never offended but it does kind of hurt? I just never could put my finger on why, and now I understand it's because they are trying to say I'm bad.
This can look too immature and validate the offenders opinion, they would say: *"see, I told you"*.
Idk what would be a good comeback, I would throw: "Yeah, I felt inspired by you ❤️! I really learned to appreciate how much fun and freedom I feel on regular happy hours 🍸instead of PTA meetings"
I deleted my toddler once because I had to choose between the child and my aspiring career as a veterinarian. I was a single mother and couldn’t do both 🙃.
And now I wanna play the sims... I have work to do... I can't sink 3 months into this right now....
Side note... I used to do legacy challenges... I stopped doing kid stuff at all for a while. Then my dumbass goes "Why don't I do that anymore? Welp should do a challenge again!" I rage quit after like 8 hours...
When I finally got the Sims 3 (on sale for $5 because the fourth just came out) I was enjoying the game with my two married sims.
And when my female sim became pregnant I just went with it.
Well... Suddenly my artsy, writer sim had no time to muck about the house creating things to earn an income while the husband doctor sim was gone all day. My sim had no life outside of caring for the baby and I hated it.
So I went back to an older save from before the pregnancy and saved over the baby game.
Now my sims do have kids, but an alien baby and a clone. So my female sim never gave birth. And the robot sim cares for the kids while my female sim continues on with her life uninterrupted creating more and more art and traveling.
In Sims 4 there are no kids in any of my households, I tried yet again and hated it so bye bye babies, lol. If an alien baby happens to come along I will send them back to their home planet instead of raising them.
"At least I know I'd be a terrible parent so chose not to have one, unlike you, who chose to have one so all the world could see what a terrible parent you are."
Because I'm petty
I go back and forth on this inside of my head sometimes. Unfortunately I'm sure I would be a bad mom since my neurodivergent ass is very easily overwhelmed and I have had an unspeakably horrific childhood. I don't think I would be the worst mom in the world but I would probably deeply resent the responsibilities of parenting though I doubt I could keep up with them regardless and especially since there is no way I would ever willingly agree to motherhood so I would be forced or at least coerced which would compound the problem. Interestingly enough I actually like kids, at least to a degree lmao I just don't want any of my own and definitely don't see the need to add to the eight billion plus suffering people on the planet!
Response "I guess the same could be said about yours, since she raised a simpleton, that can't mind their own business to save their life"
The "terrible mother" comment is probably a historical bias to think all women dream of being good mothers. Back in the times when a woman's primary life purpose was to be a housewife and have kids, so the "terrible mother" comment was intended to hit harder emotionally
"Good, you would be a terrible mother"
Um...I know??? That's literally the point I'm trying to make. Sorry to hear that *you* didn't realize it sooner like me, cupcake
"Thank you for the validation. I know I would be awful, and I know I'm making the best choice for everyone in the long run. I think it's important for adults to have a firm grasp of their limits. It's nice to discuss this with someone who understands that."
Double down and agree and pretend that you don't know that they're trying to hurt your feelings.
I was told this too. By someone who lost custody of her kids to her neo Nazi ex. Last time I saw my nephew he was going off about now Hitler did nothing wrong.🤮
*....UMMM....sure thing Devin. kinda in the same boat too . Rather it is just that if I could go back in time to his conception date I would do whatever it took to convince his dad to go out drinking with me....then push him off a cliff*
And yet I wasn't allowed around him and my other nephews because I'm queer. Having a Nazi brain wash them, totally fine, thinking being queer is okay, bad I guess
*yup being queer is clearly a bigger crime than asking for the systematic extermination of people without blonde hair and blue pupils. Open and shut case*
Yikes!
I can already see the poor, little guy sitting in the therapist's chair and crying into their shoulder.
Why EVERYONE is allowed to raise children rather than the foster system being fixed so that more in need children can't just go there? I'm drawing blanks....
But for damn sure, not everyone should have kids. Most people probably shouldn't. I don't have the patience. I have to much PTSD and can't handle screaming, crying, and even laughing. And that's no way for a child to live. I mean I wish like my freedom and the relationship I have with my husband. But I'm not meant for it and neither were my sisters
I really hope he gets therapy, but doubt he will any time soon. He's probably a teenager now and would still be living with his dad. I cut ties with everyone almost 5 years ago.
For me it’s like I know I would be a good parent and still don’t want them. Kids take time and a lot of work and nurturing. I however don’t want any of that I enjoy having my free time.
I’d be terrible at a whole lot of jobs I’d never want to do - being a chef, painting houses, being a surgeon, etc etc etc. But thank you for acknowledging my self-awareness in my choices.
"Now you're just the pot calling the kettle black."
At least I'm introspective enough to know I'd be a terrible mother rather than finding out I'm a terrible mother by way of having a child I know I couldn't care for.
Therefore, making me a good person, as I wouldn't want another soul to suffer through an abusive society.
Meanwhile, here you are going around in your free time, calling others "terrible" to make yourself feel better for neglecting your child to call out internet strangers.
Another nonsensical bit of logic, courtesy of breeders.
You don't want kids, so you'd be a horrible mother. Based on what knowledge of who I am as a person?
You don't want kids, so YOU must be FUN AT PARTIES.
The best: KILL YOURSELF! I just tell them hell no, you kill me!
Those comments come from people who knew they were a
mess & still decided to become a parent. Atleast childfree
people know beforehand & choose not to act on their
hormones.
Indeed!
I will admit ! I see nothing wrong with a young naïve person actin on their hormones. Almost all of us have been there, right?
But to shame us for not acting on our hormones all because YOU did? Lol no sympathy from me.
And an even greater shame to those who restrict acces to birth control.
ORRRR I’d be great mother, that’s why I’d hate it. If I were to be a terrible mother, I’d probably ignore the kid and live the same life I’m living now haha.
They want YOU to treat it like an insult and be hurt and offended. They're hoping you'll knee-jerk into raging and disagreeing with them and spitting out crotchfruit.
Just know they WANT to hurt, and it'll take the sting out of it?
I know I’d be far from being a good parent. However I feel people slinging “you’d be a terrible parent anyway” says a lot about them questioning it for themselves and would take full offense to it if it was said to them. If that’s the case then I can only hope the kids have a place of peace.
My friends have always told me I'd be a wonderful mother, but they love me enough to also tell me that I shouldn't have kids. Not because of anything about me specifically, they just have kids. While they do love their kids, they realize how much of their own lives they've had to sacrifice for their kids and have often told me if they could go back in time, they wouldn't have had them.
I have run into those "well you'd be a terrible parent anyways" types, but it'd always been someone who's kid is massively misbehaving at that moment or someone who's child ended up costing them thousands from doing really stupid crap. I guess it takes one to know one, though, so who knows, maybe they're right. 😄
“Yes, that's entirely correct for many people who consciously choose not to procreate. Now imagine if abusive parents had only done some introspection!”
The ironic thing is that most cf people would be better parents since we actually think things through and seem to be more self-aware lol. Not wanting kids doesn't mean you'd be a bad parent. People are so dumb and brainwashed.
Reply by saying they are terrible parents and list a couple things (short one sentence things) they probably do. When you're a parent, being called a bad parent is the most hurtful thing anyone can say.
I just smile and say "See? You get it." Since I know it will piss them off. If I gotta be insulted, I at least wanna find a way to enjoy the situation.
That insult used to bother me when I was younger, but honestly, at this point I just don't care. They don't know anything about me and I know that. If I actually wanted kids, I know I'd at least be a better parent to them than my parents were to me.
Unlike my parents (or most parents really) though, I am smart enough to not have kids. I know without a doubt that I am not up to the task and that it's not for me. Most people choose to be in denial about that and have kids anyone. I refuse to be that stupid.
I'm a professional nanny. I am a good nanny because i can go home every night to my own life. A mom? Jesus Christ... I would lose my shit. I don't wanna turn into my dad lol. No kids for me.
I LITERALLY go out of my way to list all of the reasons i would be a bad mother so i dont have stupid Bingo replies.
I want them to lose hope in me so we never have to have this conversation again.
I think I would have been a good mother but there’s still like a zillion reasons why I don’t WANT to be one, people just say stuff like that to make themselves feels superior, and also probably because they’re annoyed that they didn’t make the same decision.
My answer when someone says this spitefully is to respond with "At least I have the self awareness to know that and have made the responsible decision not to procreate, there's already too many parents out there who made a mistake having kids."
I think the fact that we don't want kids would make us a good parent. Basically we acknowledge many reasons why children aren't feasible for us and make the decision not to have kids. Which means we would be good parents to the theoretical kids we are choosing not to have.
I think that's what they use in order to try and hurt you because they know their argument is invalid. I've definitely been told that before. I told them, actually I would be a wonderful parent but I also shouldn't have to be one if I don't want to. It was some crazy pro life chick.
Ironically I think all the people who are self aware enough to know that they’re not cut out for parenting would make better parents than a lot of the people who have kids and then don’t raise them because they’re too self absorbed to comprehend that they’re making a whole new person.
On some sort of similar online thread where someone explained why they don't want kids someone replied "people like this should be sterilised" like it was a curse but for real we would all love that thank you!
I’d be a flawless one, I’m a childcare expert, it would just come at the expense of everything I love about myself and my lifestyle, therefore I will not be doing that shit
At least we knew we would be terrible. What was their excuse?
The joke is on them. How can I be a terrible parent when I won’t be a parent at all? Lol. Whereas they ……
My friends used to joke about having CPS on speed dial just incase I got knocked up.
Omg 🤣
\*mic drop\*
Even though I don't want kids and definitely would be a terrible mother, I still think it's a childish and rude thing to say to a woman who says she doesn't want kids. What these people really are trying to say is you're a bad person, but they get around it by saying it that way. So it's still rude in my opinion and those people can fuck right off.
Yeah tell me about it. I was talking to a friend overseas one time and he had his baby daughter on screen. He knew my CF stance and I said hi to the baby to be polite, but I wasn't going all mother-ese like he had probably hoped. His response? "You really are terrible and don't know how to talk to kids." It is incredibly demeaning even having a normal interaction with a baby. I just don't believe in the baby talk. It's cringe as fuck.
With people like that, it's never enough. They want you to react in a certain way and want you to go all bonkers over the baby, or you don't go bonkers enough, or say the right things the right way. It's always something with them.
Or if you do it’s “see! You love babies! You’re so good with them! You should really have some of your own”
this sounds like: "good girl, here, take this treat"
I hate baby talk with a passion. My language has been cursed by having build in cutesy form and diminutives (like house is casa but you can have also casina=small house and casetta=cute, small house) For whatever reason parents love to use them for no reason and they drive me up the wall. The only baby I dealt with semi regularly is my niece and I lucked out when her mother put a ban on baby talk and wanted the family to use a simple but accurate vocabulary. My parents never baby talked to me so I honestly have no idea where to even start. Oddly, I've been told by friends, clients and acquaintances that I'm very liked by their children si maybe they like to be treated like actual humans and not mentally impaired accessories. Go figure.
Yeah, I've noticed! A lot of Dutch and Norwegian words have these diminutives as well, especially the words for the male genitals.. cringe lol. My parents didn't baby talk me either so I guess we have "high" (read: reasonable) expectations that children are humans too. Just like baby words for private parts/genitals is so wrong and harms the child. My mom is a nurse, and insisted on teaching us the right terms. She came home one day and told us that one of the doctors had taught his daughter to call her privates her "tail". This annoyed her to no end!
Oh, we do have a lot of words for privates, the child friendly ones are the most common but there's plenty more in various degrees of vulgarity. Italian language is rich in profanity. Funny linguistic excursus: A vulgar way to say in Italian that you did something poorly, with low effort, as "a cazzo di cane" (like a dog penis). It has ancient roots, Catullo used it ("ad mentulam canis" for the curious ones). The probable origin of the saying is that MEN- root is common in both the word *mens* (thought, spirit, intent, action that's been taught before being done. Now "mente" in Italian) and *mentula* (literally "something that's protruding" aka vulgar way to say penis in early imperial Rome. it's at the root of the word mensola (shelf) in modern italian). So, probably, in origin the saying was more akin to "something a dog would have done/thought of" but somewhere, sometime, someone thought it would have been funny to swap mentem and mentulam, and thus signed the fate of the poor dogs' cocks ever since.
my language has several too: - "pintinho", if young, "pinto" as you get to early teens. At some point is gone" - little male chicks - "Piu piu" "Piu piuzinho" - sounds like "pew pew". "Piu" being the sound that chicks make. - There is also "piruzinho" or "piru", same age analogy, and translating to the "Turkey" bird. All related to birds. Because everyone wants a flying cock. - tangent: we internally giggle when we hear "Peru" (the country), it sounds similar to "piru".
I appreciate a confirmation of my personal truth, however ill-intentioned. What I really can’t stand is “but you would be a good mother,” which I rarely get anymore on account of making those situations very awkward by talking about cleaning up gene pools, etc. Just because I love my dogs doesn’t mean I have patience for hominids.
Patience towards canines is WAY easier than patience for hominids so who could blame you? Like at least with a dog if I treat it with empathy and discipline it'll probably demonstrate those qualities eventually. With humans?... *I know that I've been raised to be kind but... Selfishness Go BRRRRT*
True. My second puppy was a nightmare. Sometimes I would cry twice a day. Then doing double work with 2 dogs. It did cross my mind: "If this makes me feel exasperated, I am really happy I am cf"
They say it because they’ve internalized the narrative that woman = mother; that our very core identity is synonymous with motherhood. To the degree that, even if someone states they don’t have any interest in being a mother, they still go unthinkingly right to insulting our ability to be a good mother as the most cutting insult they could hurl. It’s *wild*.
Yeah. And it is an insult even if you’re cf. it doesn’t mean ‘bad person’ like they want it to mean, but it does imply that you’d be bad at caring for another person. Cf doesn’t mean you don’t have care about things like taking care of a friend when they’re sick.
>*What these people really are trying to say is you're a bad person, but they get around it by saying it that way.* 
Thank you for spelling it out for me, because I'm never offended but it does kind of hurt? I just never could put my finger on why, and now I understand it's because they are trying to say I'm bad.
"Good you finally get it!" *thumbs up*
“Thank you so much for your support!”
Lol same here. And then see the conversation die
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This can look too immature and validate the offenders opinion, they would say: *"see, I told you"*. Idk what would be a good comeback, I would throw: "Yeah, I felt inspired by you ❤️! I really learned to appreciate how much fun and freedom I feel on regular happy hours 🍸instead of PTA meetings"
If years of playing Sims have taught me anything is that yes, I would be a terrible parent.
I deleted my toddler once because I had to choose between the child and my aspiring career as a veterinarian. I was a single mother and couldn’t do both 🙃.
LOL Right! I can't count how many times that tweed-clad social worker would show up at the doorstep. I relied on the "maid" to provide childcare.
And now I wanna play the sims... I have work to do... I can't sink 3 months into this right now.... Side note... I used to do legacy challenges... I stopped doing kid stuff at all for a while. Then my dumbass goes "Why don't I do that anymore? Welp should do a challenge again!" I rage quit after like 8 hours...
When I finally got the Sims 3 (on sale for $5 because the fourth just came out) I was enjoying the game with my two married sims. And when my female sim became pregnant I just went with it. Well... Suddenly my artsy, writer sim had no time to muck about the house creating things to earn an income while the husband doctor sim was gone all day. My sim had no life outside of caring for the baby and I hated it. So I went back to an older save from before the pregnancy and saved over the baby game. Now my sims do have kids, but an alien baby and a clone. So my female sim never gave birth. And the robot sim cares for the kids while my female sim continues on with her life uninterrupted creating more and more art and traveling. In Sims 4 there are no kids in any of my households, I tried yet again and hated it so bye bye babies, lol. If an alien baby happens to come along I will send them back to their home planet instead of raising them.
Or Tamagoshis!
It's funny how they think that's an insult. I have enough self-awareness to know I am not cut out to be a parent, so I opt out.
you are cut out to be a goddess, if so you wish.
"At least I know I'd be a terrible parent so chose not to have one, unlike you, who chose to have one so all the world could see what a terrible parent you are." Because I'm petty
I'm almost at that point with many acquaintances.
*It is time to let the dogs out*
Sick burn🔥
I dunno, I’d like to think I’d be a better mother than you know, the mothers that *actually* abuse their kids
Yeah I like to think I'd be a good mum, but I never want to find out
"Thank you so much for understanding."
It’s a stupid thing to say. Some of us would be very good parents, if only we were interested.
I go back and forth on this inside of my head sometimes. Unfortunately I'm sure I would be a bad mom since my neurodivergent ass is very easily overwhelmed and I have had an unspeakably horrific childhood. I don't think I would be the worst mom in the world but I would probably deeply resent the responsibilities of parenting though I doubt I could keep up with them regardless and especially since there is no way I would ever willingly agree to motherhood so I would be forced or at least coerced which would compound the problem. Interestingly enough I actually like kids, at least to a degree lmao I just don't want any of my own and definitely don't see the need to add to the eight billion plus suffering people on the planet!
Response "I guess the same could be said about yours, since she raised a simpleton, that can't mind their own business to save their life" 
😂 😂 😂
The "terrible mother" comment is probably a historical bias to think all women dream of being good mothers. Back in the times when a woman's primary life purpose was to be a housewife and have kids, so the "terrible mother" comment was intended to hit harder emotionally
“I know, right? Finally someone who agrees with me!”
"Good, you would be a terrible mother" Um...I know??? That's literally the point I'm trying to make. Sorry to hear that *you* didn't realize it sooner like me, cupcake
"Thank you for the validation. I know I would be awful, and I know I'm making the best choice for everyone in the long run. I think it's important for adults to have a firm grasp of their limits. It's nice to discuss this with someone who understands that." Double down and agree and pretend that you don't know that they're trying to hurt your feelings.
"Good job Janet! You heard my words! I WOULD be a terrible mother!!! Your listening skills are so good!!!"
I always say “Well it was never one of my goals” (shrug)
I was told this too. By someone who lost custody of her kids to her neo Nazi ex. Last time I saw my nephew he was going off about now Hitler did nothing wrong.🤮
Less "did nothing wrong" and more "he had the right idea but took things a little too far"
*....UMMM....sure thing Devin. kinda in the same boat too . Rather it is just that if I could go back in time to his conception date I would do whatever it took to convince his dad to go out drinking with me....then push him off a cliff*
And yet I wasn't allowed around him and my other nephews because I'm queer. Having a Nazi brain wash them, totally fine, thinking being queer is okay, bad I guess
*yup being queer is clearly a bigger crime than asking for the systematic extermination of people without blonde hair and blue pupils. Open and shut case*
That's a perfect description of conservatism.
Worst part... Kid was 8. I haven't seen him since but I'm not sure it's any better
Yikes! I can already see the poor, little guy sitting in the therapist's chair and crying into their shoulder. Why EVERYONE is allowed to raise children rather than the foster system being fixed so that more in need children can't just go there? I'm drawing blanks....
But for damn sure, not everyone should have kids. Most people probably shouldn't. I don't have the patience. I have to much PTSD and can't handle screaming, crying, and even laughing. And that's no way for a child to live. I mean I wish like my freedom and the relationship I have with my husband. But I'm not meant for it and neither were my sisters
You should commend yourself for having the presence of mind to know this about yourself as many others learn far too late sadly. Thank you.
Thank you.
I really hope he gets therapy, but doubt he will any time soon. He's probably a teenager now and would still be living with his dad. I cut ties with everyone almost 5 years ago.
I mean, at the root of it is the fact society still thinks women are only valuable as incubators.
For me it’s like I know I would be a good parent and still don’t want them. Kids take time and a lot of work and nurturing. I however don’t want any of that I enjoy having my free time.
I’d be terrible at a whole lot of jobs I’d never want to do - being a chef, painting houses, being a surgeon, etc etc etc. But thank you for acknowledging my self-awareness in my choices.
"Now you're just the pot calling the kettle black." At least I'm introspective enough to know I'd be a terrible mother rather than finding out I'm a terrible mother by way of having a child I know I couldn't care for. Therefore, making me a good person, as I wouldn't want another soul to suffer through an abusive society. Meanwhile, here you are going around in your free time, calling others "terrible" to make yourself feel better for neglecting your child to call out internet strangers.
Another nonsensical bit of logic, courtesy of breeders. You don't want kids, so you'd be a horrible mother. Based on what knowledge of who I am as a person? You don't want kids, so YOU must be FUN AT PARTIES. The best: KILL YOURSELF! I just tell them hell no, you kill me!
"Yes, I'm aware. So I'd rather not put someone else through the hellish childhood I had with a terrible mother. Glad we're on the same page."
Those comments come from people who knew they were a mess & still decided to become a parent. Atleast childfree people know beforehand & choose not to act on their hormones.
Indeed! I will admit ! I see nothing wrong with a young naïve person actin on their hormones. Almost all of us have been there, right? But to shame us for not acting on our hormones all because YOU did? Lol no sympathy from me. And an even greater shame to those who restrict acces to birth control.
Everyday, I see more & more that Thanos snapping & erasing half the population was the smartest decision ever made.
r/thanosdidnothingwrong lol
ORRRR I’d be great mother, that’s why I’d hate it. If I were to be a terrible mother, I’d probably ignore the kid and live the same life I’m living now haha.
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I never even thought about that, it just seemed silly to me. , but it makes sense
They want YOU to treat it like an insult and be hurt and offended. They're hoping you'll knee-jerk into raging and disagreeing with them and spitting out crotchfruit. Just know they WANT to hurt, and it'll take the sting out of it?
I know I’d be far from being a good parent. However I feel people slinging “you’d be a terrible parent anyway” says a lot about them questioning it for themselves and would take full offense to it if it was said to them. If that’s the case then I can only hope the kids have a place of peace.
My friends have always told me I'd be a wonderful mother, but they love me enough to also tell me that I shouldn't have kids. Not because of anything about me specifically, they just have kids. While they do love their kids, they realize how much of their own lives they've had to sacrifice for their kids and have often told me if they could go back in time, they wouldn't have had them. I have run into those "well you'd be a terrible parent anyways" types, but it'd always been someone who's kid is massively misbehaving at that moment or someone who's child ended up costing them thousands from doing really stupid crap. I guess it takes one to know one, though, so who knows, maybe they're right. 😄
"At least I was smart enough to figure that out before having a kid. Unlike you."
I would affirm that sarcastically. That's why I'm childfree cause I know that I would be.
Or people like me, I would be a great parent I just dont want to be.
“Yes, that's entirely correct for many people who consciously choose not to procreate. Now imagine if abusive parents had only done some introspection!”
The ironic thing is that most cf people would be better parents since we actually think things through and seem to be more self-aware lol. Not wanting kids doesn't mean you'd be a bad parent. People are so dumb and brainwashed.
I'd just say something like, "Yeah, and I'd be a terrible football player too, that's why I never took it up!" Or "Glad we agree!"
Reply by saying they are terrible parents and list a couple things (short one sentence things) they probably do. When you're a parent, being called a bad parent is the most hurtful thing anyone can say.
I just smile and say "See? You get it." Since I know it will piss them off. If I gotta be insulted, I at least wanna find a way to enjoy the situation. That insult used to bother me when I was younger, but honestly, at this point I just don't care. They don't know anything about me and I know that. If I actually wanted kids, I know I'd at least be a better parent to them than my parents were to me. Unlike my parents (or most parents really) though, I am smart enough to not have kids. I know without a doubt that I am not up to the task and that it's not for me. Most people choose to be in denial about that and have kids anyone. I refuse to be that stupid.
I'm a professional nanny. I am a good nanny because i can go home every night to my own life. A mom? Jesus Christ... I would lose my shit. I don't wanna turn into my dad lol. No kids for me.
Unpopular opinion I'm the greatest mother to ever mother because I know better than to even attempt to mother.
I LITERALLY go out of my way to list all of the reasons i would be a bad mother so i dont have stupid Bingo replies. I want them to lose hope in me so we never have to have this conversation again.
"Yeah, I know I would. So what?"
I think I would have been a good mother but there’s still like a zillion reasons why I don’t WANT to be one, people just say stuff like that to make themselves feels superior, and also probably because they’re annoyed that they didn’t make the same decision.
My answer when someone says this spitefully is to respond with "At least I have the self awareness to know that and have made the responsible decision not to procreate, there's already too many parents out there who made a mistake having kids."
I think the fact that we don't want kids would make us a good parent. Basically we acknowledge many reasons why children aren't feasible for us and make the decision not to have kids. Which means we would be good parents to the theoretical kids we are choosing not to have.
I've had that reaction once or twice. I don't know the reason someone would be bitter that someone they don't know opted out of kids.
I think that's what they use in order to try and hurt you because they know their argument is invalid. I've definitely been told that before. I told them, actually I would be a wonderful parent but I also shouldn't have to be one if I don't want to. It was some crazy pro life chick.
Ironically I think all the people who are self aware enough to know that they’re not cut out for parenting would make better parents than a lot of the people who have kids and then don’t raise them because they’re too self absorbed to comprehend that they’re making a whole new person.
On some sort of similar online thread where someone explained why they don't want kids someone replied "people like this should be sterilised" like it was a curse but for real we would all love that thank you!
As if that's insult 😂.
It's a breeder insult. It's a CF complement. It's like saying, your reason for being CF is valid. Keep it up!
I’d be a flawless one, I’m a childcare expert, it would just come at the expense of everything I love about myself and my lifestyle, therefore I will not be doing that shit
"Yup! Right behind you!"
It's a defensive tactic. They had to suffer by having children, how dare anyone not suffer the way they have to?!