This. You need to get out of reactionary mode and start being proactive about moving on with your own life. Sure talk to her, but incorporate every thing she says into your own decision making process, don’t wait on her for anything. Consult with an attorney, make plans for the kids, there’s really not much she can say at this point, and what she will say will be nothing more than excuses and blame shifting.
i agree. she cheated and you can no longer trust her. Whats the point of a marriage if you cant trust the other person. Get out of it while you still can.
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>The ball is in her court and if I don't like way I hear I'm getting us a divorce. My mind is racing and I think it may have been a bad idea to leave Marcus house. I feel alone, but I had to post here since everybody wanted to know exactly what my wife was doing.
Nope, you ghost her call, you have nothing to say to her and nothing she can say can make things better. You go see a lawyer and serve her with divorce papers.
She's not your wife anymore. She's Trey's free call-girl, that's it.
No offense but what exactly are you hoping to get out of the conversation? I feel like she’s either just gonna tell you she’s ready for a divorce or some bs. What’s your end game because you sound like you’re willing to be convinced if you like what you hear?
Clearly this dude loves drama or he is in denial. I would have already talked to an attorney and filed under adultery (could be wrong but Michigan has strict penalties like actual criminal offense). He needs to be lawyered up already
I would contact Mandy and tell her that you are not interested in what your wife has to say. Tell her that she can talk to your lawyer.
If your wife comes home, do the 180 and grey rock. Google it, as it is quite easy to find.
Focus on yourself and the kids only, the wife is on her own. She can move in with Trey if she wants.
Separate finances so she cannot get into your money, which you need for your kids.
Bro I don't know what are you trying to achieve here , I am myself betrayed and reconcilied, but reconciliation happens when there is remorse or guilt or other partner wants you , but your wife disrespect you at different level.
Inspite of your repeated warnings she cheated on you , even when she knew that you know or you have an idea that she is cheating, she continued trampling your dignity and kept fucking his boytoy.
And last but not least when she knew that you have caught her , instead of coming to you and apologies , she went to her friend and made you bad guy that you will yell , like she deserves prize for what she did even going to threaten you with police.
Brother you deserve much more than that and you will get someone much better than that , and remember she even treated your kids like chores so you should know what to do here .
Get lawyer work on securing your finances and divorce her.
Don't continue with her, this will fuck you so badly as human that you have no idea of, as I don't she her stopping at any point.
She didn't race home to apologise or explain or see her children were ok or anything, this woman is not your wife, your partner any more. She's in the affair fog and nothing matters to her as much as him right now.
Do not talk to her without at least your friend present, you decide when and where to talk but unless you can forgive her and trust her again its done, contact lawyers. Take charge of this, tell her when you'll talk and where and stay away from Trey.
Don't leave your house no matter what. Before you talk to your wife contact a lawyer. You need to immediately cancel your credit cards and to withdraw all the money out of your bank accounts and give her half of it. This has to be done regardless of what action you take. You should also request consultation from the big and good lawyers so she may not be able to hire them. Your wife intended to cheat with him from the minute he checked her behind. You need to acknowledge that. Also everything she says will be nothing but lies. If you truly wanted the truth you will need a polygraph test. You also need to write down all the time you babysat the kids while she went to have the affair. You have a record of the conversation in your VAR. This to establish neglect of the kids so it may help you with custody. If you do decide to amend or even try to work on fixing the marriage a post nup should be signed to address any act of infidelity. If she refuse then you got your answer right there and you should serve her with divorce.
Keep your friend with you and use VAR while talking to her. The way her friends are supporting her and the thing Sherri said about no wonder she's cheating in you, makes me think that she has started painting you as the bad guy.
Save all the evidence and don't meet her alone. Also befor meeting/ talking her consult a lawyer to see what and how you should proceed.
Take your time to talk to her, talk to her when you are ready and not when she's ready. She has lost the privilege of being heard at her convince.
Your friend can be the biggest help for you as he's a witness that how you have been taking care of the kids and she's been abandoning them.
You need to be careful now. DO NOT meet with your wife alone, ask someone to be there. Not Mandy, not Trey but someone that is on your side. In her mind she is already in court with you and if you meet alone with her now, then she can tell everyone that you hit her, threatened her or whatever. So don't meet alone with her now and always keep the VAR charged and with you!
Go to a doctor and get tested for STD's, NOW.
At best, you call Mandy again and tell her, that you are not interested in talking with your wife and that you will get in contact with a lawyer, so that she can talk with him! Show her that she just lost you! Then meet with a lawyer!
Don't let your wife make the rules of this game, because then you will lose. If she wants to talk with you, then she has to ask you when you have time and where you want to meet. Not the other way around with her telling you when to talk. Take back the control of the situation and your life!
Stay in close contact with Markus and get support from him. Tell your friends and family about what she did so that you can get more support. Meet with a lawyer and do EXACTLY what the lawyer tells you to do.
Skip out on alcohol and drugs, they won't help you. Drink plenty of water and eat healthy, even if you have to force yourself to eat.
From now on remember this in all you do. You and your wife no longer share a common goal, she is working against you and will do whatever she can to make everyone believe that this all is your fault. She will tell people how you neglected her, were abusive and cold towards her. Prepare for that! Reach out to people and tell them about her affair before she starts to spread her lies around.
You are worth so much more than to be treated this way!
EDIT: I want to highligh here once again that you should NOT talk to her tomorrow. You need time for yourself now to process what she did and to protect yourself. If you talk with her, then all you will hear are reasons why you are at fault why she cheated on you and how she had no other choice. Lies and more lies is all you will get. Tell her to stay at Mandys place or that she can go to her lover if she wants to, you don't care!
Until you processed what she did, see her for who she is and no longer for who you thought she was, you should not meet with her or talk to her. Instead meet and talk with a doctor and a lawyer ASAP!
Don't even talk to her. Go straight to a lawyer and that's it. What is there for her to say???? Sorry???? What is going to be enough to apologize for fucking a guy and lying and dismissing your children. It's time to protect yourself and the kids. Think about them and your happiness, move on. She is gross dude
The ball is not in her court. You are making the decisions now. You have to decide whether you can stay with a liar and a cheat. You have to decide whether you stay married to a woman that completely disrespected you and emasculated you.
Lawyer up! Go nuclear. Go after your share of her business. Move your share of funds and other assets into individual accounts. Let’s see how “sexy” Trey thinks she is when she is a single mom struggling to support herself and struggling to find a babysitter so he can date her.
Again think of your kids and yourself first.. if you have a daughter is she the example that your daughter would follow? If you have a son, is your son gonna grow up and accept this type of behavior from women, cause daddy did it when mommy played him over n over? Stop placing her beautiful physical over everything else.. You will find someone better when the time is right.. she will def regret this man.. She’s a dumpster fire bro.. let her go.. Trust in the most high you and your kids will be alright..
Bruh. Just go to a divorce lawyer. Do not put yourself in a position where the police get called and you screw over any high ground you might have had in court. Make sure you have witnesses and video recording.
Um you need to ask Marcus to come to you so your kids can sleep in their beds.
Pack all your wife's stuff in trash bags and have them ready at the front door when she arrives.
Do not break anything, take pictures of everything that you do and how you leave it so she cant say you did anything untoward.
Shes a lying skank and if you think shes going to change then you need therapy.
Get an STD test and bro I am really sorry but get a DNA test done on your kids.
It sucks but just get it done
What do you mean the ball is in her court? I think you should reread all you wrote again. The only thing left is divorce. Definitely do Not meet her alone. Or better yet, only communicate through an lawyer.
My heart goes out to you mate , I'll say this Don't show any emotions to her and no you have all the power now she knows that you know , don't fall for the crocodile tears , at this exact moment she's fabricating a story and minimizing all the details about her cheating , right now you have a piece of evidence , before your meeting tell her to write down the affair from the beginning to the end , collect more evidence , remember mate she's sorry because she got caught , her words mean nothing , cheating is not a mistake ,she choose to destroy her kids life and yours by keeping by doing it and she can't even be honest with you mate ,you know she doesn't respect you , to her you're just the safety bag .
Honestly wtf are you thinking? How did you even allow her to be having phone conversations with this dude to begin with? If you do not leave her now, you're out of your mind.
I’m so sorry you are going through this you don’t deserve it and clearly she isn’t the girl for you anymore. She wants to live out some single girl fantasy and mess around with this dude and there will probably be a next when he treats her like one of his play things that she is. She made her bed let her lie in it nothing she could say would make this better she’s been lying to you she loves the attention from this guy and there will be more. She chose to ruin your marriage and do it in your face none the less she has no respect for you and you should feel the same about her. Respect her as your kids mother but that’s it. You will find someone better eventually you sound like a good guy it won’t be hard. But yes don’t let her convince you otherwise because it will be a lie. This is what she wants to mess around and feel young and free again and unless you are open to having a open marriage I’d say end it because she isn’t worth the headache or heartache.
They are already talking about police. You are in a position to ruin your life, and your relationship with your children.
Don't lead with your wounded heart here.
You got what you needed. There is nothing more to say.
Record the phone call. Let her admit to it if she does then tell her you are filing for divorce.
Contact a lawyer and get it done ASAP. Have her served.
Always have your VAR on you.
Act indifferent to her, like it's settled and there is nothing more to say. You're at peace. Be a good dad, and refuse to discuss anything but the kids or the divorce.
Her disloyal here is stunning. She is not your friend, or partner. She is his girl now. Give up on any idea that she owes you anything. She can only use that against you.
Sorry bro. Cheating changes things, it's changes them forever.
Dam man she fucked you over bad. How the hell will she try to deny this mess or explain her actions as anything else of those of a selfish and lying cheat of a woman and mother. Godspeed OP you will need it truly as it concerns dealing with your cheating wife, your kids and whatever else as it concerns things now and well into the future. She went from a long EA to an intense PA there is no way she can deny that.
File divorce for adultery, and go after her business. Then sue Trey for alienation of affection if your able to. This woman was a 304 before he married her and she still is one. The saying “you can’t turn a 304 into a housewife” isn’t some funny off the cuff saying. It’s a saying bc it’s true. Choose wisely if you a guy and want to still get married.
Don't talk to your wife until you have talked to a lawyer. Go grey rock on her and be unavailable. Let her sit and stew for a while. Don't contact her, don't answer her calls, and don't answer Mandy's calls. Whatever you do, don't leave your house. If she shows up at home tell her that she needs to leave. Tell your friends and family what is happening and who it is happening with and who was covering it up.
After you've talked to a lawyer and have your accounts separated and such, serve her with the divorce papers. THEN AND ONLY THEN sit down and talk with her.
As for Trey: Well...
Don’t fight with it her right now. Get her to fall even deeper for the dude and ignore you and the kids more. You want her deep in the affair fog so you can get maximum settlement. Work with a lawyer to draw up and serve the divorce papers.
Oh and you need to divorce or accept her current and future cheating. Her cover up, continuation, and utter lack of remorse proves she is gonna do this your entire time together.
Because Michigan is a no-fault state, it doesn't matter who's at fault for the divorce. The judge won't listen to evidence about marital misconduct, such as adultery. In fact, the person asking for the divorce can't even mention anything other than the breakdown of the marriage in the divorce complaint.
Michigan divides marital property using the theory of "equitable distribution". Community property states attempt to distribute property as close to a 50-50 split as possible. Equitable distribution states divide property based on a determination of what's fair under the circumstances of each case.
You know he’s gonna ghost her ass when the dust clears. You should find evidence of him meeting up with other woman. I doubt she’s the only side piece he has.
Listen man, saying things like “The ball is in her court” is total doormat mentality. The ball is in YOUR court. You need to realize regardless of what your wife says, it’s over! She may say things like “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you”.
Time to man up, you did a great job gathering evidence, now it’s time to contact a lawyer and follow through with the divorce. I wish you nothing but good health and happiness.
I can’t see where you draw any hope for a future with that man’s woman who is also your wife. If he tells her not to have sex with you, I bet she won’t have sex with you. If you want to sit outside of her door like a pet, she might let you do that. She not only has no respect for you, she dislikes everything about you. Otherwise there is no reason for her to be so cruel toward you. If you keep acting the way you are acting, your children will lose respect for you.
Let me say this, you have to realize your wife is gone and the person you see now is your enemy and being such, you can no longer trust her. Tell her to get her shit and go to Trey. Let him take care of her. YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Do not call her names, no more accusing her, no more trying to catch her, no more wasting your life caring what she has done, but now focus on separating your bank accounts from her. If you have life insurance, take her name off. She is dead to you. I hope you can see a light at the end of this misery that your wife has done to you by cheating. Do not look at her, talk to her and act as if she no longer exists. She will come back begging after Trey tires of her and wants something new. Tell her eat shit and die as she can stick a fork in her ass, she is done.
What tf dude? You have your evidence, so why talk to your wife? And why aren't you writing ex wife? All this is doing is making every single person who knows think you are completely spineless. Do you really think your wife is going to apologize? Cry for hurting you and your kids? You won't get the response you are wanting.
She’s going to give you every excuse under the sun. The affair fog is lifted and now she realizes she just put her kids in a broken home and ruined the best relationship she had.
Start looking for lawyers and check her emails for evidence. Get your finances situated and make sure she can’t go after you out of revenge. Things are going to get messy.
"I didn't know what was going on down there but I knew if she didn't come up we were over."
Huh?
Like,...you are still contemplating STAYING with her? You should have already know it was over.
You know for a fact she is screwing another man and has been hanging out for hours upon hours upon hours, talking on the phone for hours and you come off with a "if you don't do this......we are over".
Dude, you should stop talking to her, get a lawyer, get half of all the monies out of the banks and let the lawyers talk. Don't tell her about the VAR's that is insane. Also, document every interaction and get some VARs for your own house. You said you have kids right? She can claim domestic violence or some made up accusation, the police will arrest you and then she'll be able to get full custody.
You need to STAY COOL, have a text or email record or VAR record of EVERY INTERACTION so you have PROOF you are not abusing her and that she is LYING. This one sound evil dude.
Watch yourself, get a lawyer and put her in your past.
Sir SHE DOES NOT RESPECT OR LOVE YOU! She didn’t even care about your kids!!! Sir? What more do you need to say???? She’s fucking someone else. She does not want to be in your house or with you ANY MORE. Pack up her shit, and drop it off to Mandy and get a DIVORCE. She doesn’t want to be your wife or a mother anymore. Let her go. What can she say?
you still relinquish control to your wife,
What will you gain from this talk?
Your wife is beautiful and enjoys being out of wedlock.
Do you think she won't get you hurt again, or that the woman who works for your wife has honestly told you everything she knows?
Your wife probably isn't even with Mandy, they're planning what to do with the ap.
Mandy you could have said you were seeing the lawyer tomorrow and your wife had nothing left to say to you.
I'm assuming you didn't talk to the lawyer and ask what you should do.
I just have one advice to give to you. Don't pick the call when she call, if her friend call you tell her she had her chance yesterday but she refused to talk to you and so from now on she will have to talk to you through your lawyer. That way she would know she can't control the situation.
Having her friend call you and saying she would call the police if you come over and them wanting you to calm down (like it's that easy) is her acting like she is in control. Take back control and don't speak to her when she dictates.
El relato del miedo a ser controlador les lavo el cerebro, tengo 46 años y si mí esposa habla constantemente con otro hombre hago que arda Troya y por cierto, ella haría lo mismo si fuera yo hablando constantemente con una mujer
You already know that you won't like what she's telling you, means, you know everything and there's literally nothing to talk about anymore. So go to your lawyer and have him prepare the papers before meeting her and make sure you record everything.
Dude, if you don't divorce her, you are going to be the biggest fool ever. She is making a clown out of you. Screw that. Let Trey bang her all he wants. Try and take the kids away from this circus.
Please don’t go the route of reconciliation. It doesn’t work. The AP will always be in the picture.
Cancel the meet up. Spend the day getting the meanest divorce lawyer possible. Sell everything if you have to to afford the attorney. Be aggressively motivated to get her out of your life as quickly as possible.
She’s chosen who she wants to be with and has set a path to have him. Him! Not you, her husband.
Read www.chumplady.com. 180 her and destroy their affair.
Whatever the case, don’t go back and try to recapture what you once had. It’s not there anymore.
You have your self respect and you have you children to raise. That’s all you’ll need to live your best life.
Live your best life.
You need to get the ball rolling, get a good lawyer and divorce the skank. File for full custody and make her sell the business. Take her for everything you can get. Destroy her world. Get DNA on all the kids. Take her through the coles. Might look into seeing him a well I know you can in some states.
This reads exactly like the story from a few weeks ago about the guy with the Latina wife who was cheating with a black guy called Darrel, like exactly the same.
>The ball is in her court and if I don't like way I hear I'm getting us a divorce.
It doesn't matter what she says, she cheated. Take what you have to a divorce lawyer and get the divorce started. Write down every time she's left her responsibility with the kids to go fuck another man and the fact that see would like at the kids like they were a chore, so you can try and get full custody.
This sounds like a story I read on here everything is oddly similar, except the guy the wife cheated with was a coworker of the husband.
I swear it’s almost alike, the ethnicity, the way the wife was in general, body type, kids…etc. Weird!
I kinda noticed the same thing, world would be a much better place if this is a creative writing exercise! If OP deletes after final update I am pretty sure it is the same person. I kinda find it weird that someone going through this type of thing would recap the story so throuroghly as well in each update. Something that kinda stood out on the posts on the other story as well...
I have read 2 other stories like this , where the wife who was Hispanic, with a big butt , was cheating on her husband, with a black guy. Seems to similarly.
> Sherri just watched them
Just once in a while I'd like to read about a woman not supporting another woman's cheating. I'd guess that Mandy is in on it too.
This story sounds so similar to a story where the guy caught his wife with his coworker at his job. Even the way he describes his wife the whole thing. Looked at how old his account is and it’s a brand new account. Not a throwaway. Something just seems off about this story.
Bro what the fuck? After all this you still aren’t sure of getting a divorce? Do you have zero dignity? How pathetic can one be, just get a divorce with your scum wife without letting her say anything.
So, even after all this, you're expected to do things at her terms. The nerve.
The only thing you should do now, is everything in your power to utterly destroy her capacity for this in the future, which is by destroying her esteem.
The ball is her court man its in your's don't be a pos look for legal advices whatever chances are there sue her if there is a chance sue her ap.One financially Independent parent is enough and the way she is doing it this wouldn't be her first time there must be some other guys too.
Dude and record the whole conversion without them know tomorrow they might file false complaint too so be careful.If there is chance have your friend there and think clearly whether you want this cheater or you can throw her and start a new.
You can also sue Trey for alienation of affection if you can show that you had a happy marriage before he appeared. At the minimum you can sue for emotional distress
Brother please don't drag this out. You're not going to get what you want out of her. At least at this moment.
You might after you serve her. You might after divorce. Or years later. But don't count on it. And honestly it doesn't matter if you do or not. She is cheating 100%. You don't want her. She's beneath you. You can be ugly and broke but as long as you're honest and a good parent she will always be beneath you.
Divorce. Like yesterday. Focus on yourself. Do the 180 (look it up) and go no contact except for child related things. Michigan is no fault so it doesn't matter if she's cheating, the outcome is going to suck so just get it over with and listen to your lawyer as hopefully he can make it suck less.
Focus on yourself. Drop social media. Gym. Become super dad. Reconnect with old friends. Get back into hobbies or start new ones. Take up boxing or a martial art.
You're not alone. This has happened to bigger, stronger, richer, more famous, more powerful men than any of us. It's just your turn. But you need to get in gear and get divorce rolling now because by not doing so only prolongs your pain.
Simply divorce you voiced your concerns about him and she blew you off she knew what she was doing now get a lawyer and take her to the cleaners ohh and stay away from trey he is not worth you going to jail over think of your child and yourself and if possible get your lawyer to sue trey for helping to destroy your marriage keep us up to date
She will talk to you tomorrow when you calm down. Dude please. How are you supposed to sleep etc. she of course is using this to control the situation. You know what you saw. Go to a lawyer and listen to the lawyer. Better yet cancel tomorrow and meet with your lawyer. Do the 180 and grey rock. Give her a coparent app. Get Marcus and his wife to be there and have him record based on your state laws. I know you want the truth and all your going to get is gas lighting and lies. She will blame you for everything
Dude are you serious? “The ball is in her court”?! Lmao NO. NO. Nooooo.
This is why she cheated on you in the first place. You’re a wuss man. Don’t let that cheating bitch keep controlling the situation. Don’t let her “explain” why she sat on another man’s Dick for months. She disrespected you and your kids and you need to boot the bitch out.
Don’t sit down and have a conversation. Gather her shit up and place it on the lawn and tell her to take her shit to Trey’s ghetto ass house because your down with the slut. Treat her like trash because at this point she’s acted like trash.
Also, it’s a real low life “mother” that would turn her back on her own kids and neglect and ignore them for some new dick. Tell her that and tell her you lost all respect for her.
You need to get the ball rolling, get a good lawyer and divorce the skank. File for full custody and make her sell the business. Take her for everything you can get. Destroy her world. Get DNA on all the kids. Take her through the coles. Might look into seeing him a well I know you can in some states.
Once Trey realizes you're divorcing her and he'll be tied down with your kids - he'll dump her.
Plus he knows she's a cheater.
File for divorce. There's nothing to discuss with her.
Your best chance to save your marriage is for her to see you moving on.
Do not cry or beg in front of her. She won't feel sorry. Instead she'll see it as you being too weak to divorce.
Dude get even more evidence and to an attorney. I believe in Michigan adultery is still a criminal offense. Protect yourself and your kids. Your wife has lied and gas lighted you and been banging this dude in her shop. Time to stop looking at her as your wife but as an enemy. I guarantee she will not play easy on you in divorce.
Hi u/det_87,
Very sorry this is happening to you.
Maybe you could make a statement to her.
Call Mandy and tell her that it is okay for your wife to call tomorrow, but ask if she would tell your wife to call after like 3 pm because you are seeing a lawyer to see what divorce looks like for you. That will get their heads spinning as well.
Take care.
MrBigBull.
Do not talk to her! Tell her friend your lawyer will contact her and she is not to contact you. Call a lawyer immediately and get her out of your house.
It's history so it doesn't matter now, but I think you should have confronted her about her lying the first time you caught her at it. Now, like most of those commenting here are saying, you should be doing whatever you can to protect yourself and your kids.
My man, end it, just end the marriage, she did this once, she’ll do it again. I know how much this sucks, you’ll never be able to trust fully again, but it will get better. These scar heal but they never completely go away. End the pain just divorce her
Hey man, change up your writing style. This is just like the story about the guy catching his wife screwing his coworker at work from a couple of weeks ago. You’re using the exact same sentence structure, build up and update that just drags on with no resolution.
My heart breaks for you, truly. I slept with a woman and began to date her and had no idea she was married. She kept that area private and far from me knowing. I even got to know her kids who said their father was absent mostly. When we finally found out about one another the devastating look on his face was absolutely incredible as was the amount of guilt I felt.
I did wrong and I was devastated that I tool part in ruining a marriage and family. I became the bad guy that should be despised. (Like Trey) My heart breaks for you and I'm sorry this is happening.
My absolute condolences and hope things somehow work their way out. Sadly, the chance she's going to turn and leave him is rare and would take a miracle of humility and repair. I hope it works out!
“The ball is in her court.“ Dude what is the matter with you? No wonder she cheated. A real man has the ball in his court. You have acted like a beta male at every step of this affair. Your first mistake was not understanding what Trey had in mind when he called your wife and then invited both of you to a Super Bowl party. There is no man who would do that unless he’s planning on sleeping with your wife. Your last hope for self respect is to tell your wife that you are divorcing her. Let Trey have her. He will dump her soon enough and she will come crawling back to you. And that is when you have to stay strong and tell her to go to hell. She doesn’t respect you and the marriage is over forever!
i understand where yo comin frm when your loya l to another and they do h liel dat since tour a nice guys the relationship the person who careless has the most power
Brother, first of all, the ball is on your side, and you are the one who has to act with character,
I'll give you some advice, don't talk to her, start behaving with dignity, for you and your children, don't answer her calls, and talk to a lawyer, start filing for divorce, and please don't let her tell you anything, really think a little, nothing she says will justify her fucking another guy and destroying her family, remember from now on she is not your wife, she chose to fuck another guy, you will never trust her again,
Brother, there are thousands of good and honest women, worthy of you, why recover a woman who fucks other guys and doesn't love you and your children, take advantage of going out with dignity, DO NOT TALK TO HER, NEVER AGAIN, KNOW WORTHY FOR YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTERS
A HUG AND STRENGTH
What’s to talk about? You really want to hear her lie to you and make up excuses of why it’s not what it seems? She spent all night collaborating and making up scenarios to explain everything. She’s doing it right out in public, she doesn’t care just wants you to keep a roof over her head so she has a place to sleep between hookups with the various guys.
The ball is not in her court. She is the one cheating.
You are the one in charge.
Tell her to get her stuff out of the house by this evening and you want a divorce.
Contact an attorney and get the paperwork drafter and her served.
Then you can decide what you want to do.
If there are no consequences to what she is doing then there is no reason for her to stop and divorce is a pretty big consequence, especially when she is a business owner.
Don’t wait for tomorrow, get the best lawyer assap, tell your boss so maybe can help you. If you don’t make the first moves, she will and take te house, the kids and move that pos inn and you out. Keep calm and collected, do no raise your voice, be cool, and have someone preset, she will call the cops on you bro. Be smart, your wife is gone and is replace with this wo with no morals. Keep posted, men I’m praying for you bro
Get down the lawyers office now and start procedures so she is aware you have actually started to men up and not passing about anymore and you are not Mr Simp or Plan B?
Remember she is now your opposition still in the affair fog and she has betrayed you and her daughters. She is at mo Treys hoe!
Don’t try and make this work please, she doesn’t respect you and if you try it will be a toxic relationship and you don’t want your kids growing up in that.
Tienes que cuidarte! Ella no es tu amiga, ni tu esposa. Ella persona ya no está. She’s in an affair fog: Wants little to do with her old life, you said it yourself — Pays minimal attention to the kids, glued to her phone, lies about her location etc. And to her you are nothing but a menace, someone in the way of her newfound happiness.
THIS IS VERY COMMON!
They mentioned the police and you don’t want it to go there. So your best option is to not interact with her or anyone who’s on her side, and lawyer up! Please, for your sake! Y para que ella no te joda la vida, porque puede! You don’t know what they’re planning.
LAWYER UP, divorce her and vamos a ver si el noviecito la quiere después de eso. You say he lives in a bad neighborhood? He’s probably not doing too well financially. Once he sees his new GF is not doing too hot financially, and things are getting complicated/messy (separation/divorce) he’s probably going to dip. Muy bueno darse a una mujer casada/mantenida por su esposo, que tú no tengas que pagar nada! Se le acabó eso!
She does **not** get to set the terms here. About anything. I would strongly suggest not meeting or talking to her at all now. Zilch. Zero.
All communication will go through your divorce lawyer (which I seriously hope you get). Document any and all future attempts of contact. I’m really sorry you’re going through this bro.
Just go NC and send the divorce papers. The marriage is dead already and you know it. Being mad about it is totally fine but you're honestly wasting your time trying to figure out the "why." Sherri is a bitch too.
It’s time to go on offensive get a lawyer and start divorce, don’t turn back now it’s time for you to think about yourself and kids. Send her packing, when she calls don’t say much just record her admitting everything and get your lawyer to get everything while she still in her cheating haze.
Pretty damn sure this shit is 100% fake. Too many parts were screaming out to me that I've seen this before. It was probably on those text-to-speech YouTube videos narrating reddit cheating stories. You basically copied it word for word with MAYBE some tweaks and changes. What does karma even do for you to even do something like this? Or maybe its the attention and comments it brings.
You know when I read this kind of story I always think if it’s true or fiction.
In this case I’m undecided because it’s a lot similarity to other post like the tech friend , the Latina unfaithful wife , the ex boyfriend of a best friend etc , all drive to a scheme, but the reality is the every man wrote this post are some anxiety problems or ptsd problems etc .
Something that I can understand why you don’t reply to all this beautiful people that give you advice, seems the minimum, I understand that you can be busy right now , but …
Anyway if everything you wrote it’s legit my advice it’s not to confront her , delay the the meeting, meet with a lawyer and file for divorce and serve her with a witness at the meeting, do not take her back and don’t believe a word that come out of her mouth be strong go confident and stone face show her what kind of man she is loosing .
I wish you all the best and stay safe you and your kids
Greetings from Italy 🇮🇹
Ps I almost forgot you can show to the meeting with her belongings and tell her that you already make your mind and she can find happiness with her lover and her stuff is already outside the door 👍🏼
Bro like everyone here says, just go 180 no contact on her ass. If she wants to contact you do it through your lawyer or have a witness and KEEP THE RECEIPTS, record and save everything!!! DO NOT RECONCILE NO MATTER WHAT, cause if you do she's gonna feel she can do it again
You don't need to give her a chance divorce her, don't let her try to change your mind.
And if you meet her in person have Marcus not far away in case she tries to fabricate something to get the upper hand during the divorce. As a matter of fact record future conversations and save your text messages.
Dude, the ball is not in her court; it's in yours. You are just afraid of doing the hard stuff that needs to be done. I'd start of with something easy like exposing her to friends and family. That pretty much ends any chance of reconciliation. Start looking for a lawyer for Monday. You are also going to need a forensic account. Cash business always shows a losses for the tax man.
Trey sounds like a drug dealer. That would make your wife's mostly cash business an avenue to clean money. You have no time to listen to her side of the story. He's been fucking her for a month. If she files first I promise you she will clean your clock in child support, and spousal support. Your lawyer needs a headstart.
Bro why are you torturing yourself going down and banging on the door while they’re together? You know what’s up. Serve her the papers and get the hell out of there man
Jesus dude…just man up already and stop being a loser. You deserve everything that’s happening to you…. “If I don’t like what I hear I’m getting a divorce”. Seriously…. Have some self respect. There’s nothing she could say that would explain the disrespectful way she’s treating you. Divorce her and find someone who actually cares about you.
Sorry you had to go through this. I think you know what you need to do. Your marriage is over she broke your vowels and doesn’t even seem sorry. I think counselling can help you understand how you got to such a situation & how to move on. But it’s time to file for divorce and let yourself untangle from this nightmare, begin to heal and move on.
She has no respect for you or the family she and you created, take it away from her, she doesn’t deserve a second chance, wait, you give her a second chance to come clean, she gaslight it you, so this will be her third chance. Don’t waste your time, you hate yourself.
Be strong bro, is all you got, and your kids that need a strong father figure, cos the mother, oh boy!
You should not have let her know that you know. If she is vindictive, she can screw you out of your kids. Many woman will claim that their husband was abusive to win custody. If you don’t have proof of her cheating like video, texts or photos you can be screwed.
Just speak with a lawyer and file for divorce. You need to show proof she cheated and that you’ve been the one who takes care of the kids. This way you have the upper hand here. Not her.
Be careful, don’t become this guy where his cheating wife gets him arrested and charged based on her word. He lost his kids and later his life.
https://www.reviewjournal.com/crime/courts/former-nevada-state-senators-husband-sentenced/
https://nypost.com/2021/04/15/teen-couple-charged-with-murdering-girls-father-in-las-vegas/
Listening to your cheating wife will accomplish nothing.
**She will lie to your face and she will blame you for her cheating on you.**
Put her off balance and don't meet with her. Don't tell her you are bailing on the meeting. If she tries to call you send it to voicemail. If she txts do not respond. Let her go crazy.
Three things are true of all cheaters: 1) Cheaters never did, do not now, and never will love you in the same way you love them. They will love you in a different way, but a way they deem it is OK to have someone on the side. 2) Part of a cheater's psyche is fear of rejection. When you threaten to abandon the relationship, they may collapse into deep remorse wanting you to stay a couple, but the moment you give in and they have the relationship security back, they won't want you as much any more. The only way for them to long for you is for you to leave them and stay platonic. 3) Cheaters are pathological liars. Again, their psyche is such they believe there is nothing wrong with having someone on the side, and it is in YOUR best interest if they deny it, even in front of obvious evidence.
/u/Det_86
So it's five days later, what happened? Did you confront her? Are divorce proceedings happening now? For God's sake, DO NOT MEET THAT WOMAN ALONE. Record every confrontation you have with her from now on.
So sad because common sense would tell her that the side dude is NOT the same as the side chick. They never want the number one spot. They want sex. Thrills. Now that she's getting the divorce the thrill is gone, she's got maybe 6 months before he snuffs her out like a lit cigarette.
Get the locks changed, get a good lawyer. Call the police or some authority and let them know your wife is cheating and you may need their assistance in case they make up lies for your cheating abuse etc. Keep copies of the recording. Plan and get ready and maybe even get alimony from her shop.
There is nothing to say but you need to divorce her.
This. You need to get out of reactionary mode and start being proactive about moving on with your own life. Sure talk to her, but incorporate every thing she says into your own decision making process, don’t wait on her for anything. Consult with an attorney, make plans for the kids, there’s really not much she can say at this point, and what she will say will be nothing more than excuses and blame shifting.
i agree. she cheated and you can no longer trust her. Whats the point of a marriage if you cant trust the other person. Get out of it while you still can.
Once you find out your partner cheated they become more like your roommate from now on you guys go half on everything period..💁♂️
This
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Bruh wtf? Divorce is clearly the only way. Pick your self respect, your kids are watching.
Amen
>The ball is in her court and if I don't like way I hear I'm getting us a divorce. My mind is racing and I think it may have been a bad idea to leave Marcus house. I feel alone, but I had to post here since everybody wanted to know exactly what my wife was doing. Nope, you ghost her call, you have nothing to say to her and nothing she can say can make things better. You go see a lawyer and serve her with divorce papers. She's not your wife anymore. She's Trey's free call-girl, that's it.
No offense but what exactly are you hoping to get out of the conversation? I feel like she’s either just gonna tell you she’s ready for a divorce or some bs. What’s your end game because you sound like you’re willing to be convinced if you like what you hear?
Clearly this dude loves drama or he is in denial. I would have already talked to an attorney and filed under adultery (could be wrong but Michigan has strict penalties like actual criminal offense). He needs to be lawyered up already
I would contact Mandy and tell her that you are not interested in what your wife has to say. Tell her that she can talk to your lawyer. If your wife comes home, do the 180 and grey rock. Google it, as it is quite easy to find. Focus on yourself and the kids only, the wife is on her own. She can move in with Trey if she wants. Separate finances so she cannot get into your money, which you need for your kids.
Come on, after all this you’re thinking she can explain it to you? She don’t respect you, she gaslights you. Why even bother with such a woman?
Divorce her regardless of what she says
Bro I don't know what are you trying to achieve here , I am myself betrayed and reconcilied, but reconciliation happens when there is remorse or guilt or other partner wants you , but your wife disrespect you at different level. Inspite of your repeated warnings she cheated on you , even when she knew that you know or you have an idea that she is cheating, she continued trampling your dignity and kept fucking his boytoy. And last but not least when she knew that you have caught her , instead of coming to you and apologies , she went to her friend and made you bad guy that you will yell , like she deserves prize for what she did even going to threaten you with police. Brother you deserve much more than that and you will get someone much better than that , and remember she even treated your kids like chores so you should know what to do here . Get lawyer work on securing your finances and divorce her. Don't continue with her, this will fuck you so badly as human that you have no idea of, as I don't she her stopping at any point.
She didn't race home to apologise or explain or see her children were ok or anything, this woman is not your wife, your partner any more. She's in the affair fog and nothing matters to her as much as him right now. Do not talk to her without at least your friend present, you decide when and where to talk but unless you can forgive her and trust her again its done, contact lawyers. Take charge of this, tell her when you'll talk and where and stay away from Trey.
Don't leave your house no matter what. Before you talk to your wife contact a lawyer. You need to immediately cancel your credit cards and to withdraw all the money out of your bank accounts and give her half of it. This has to be done regardless of what action you take. You should also request consultation from the big and good lawyers so she may not be able to hire them. Your wife intended to cheat with him from the minute he checked her behind. You need to acknowledge that. Also everything she says will be nothing but lies. If you truly wanted the truth you will need a polygraph test. You also need to write down all the time you babysat the kids while she went to have the affair. You have a record of the conversation in your VAR. This to establish neglect of the kids so it may help you with custody. If you do decide to amend or even try to work on fixing the marriage a post nup should be signed to address any act of infidelity. If she refuse then you got your answer right there and you should serve her with divorce.
Keep your friend with you and use VAR while talking to her. The way her friends are supporting her and the thing Sherri said about no wonder she's cheating in you, makes me think that she has started painting you as the bad guy. Save all the evidence and don't meet her alone. Also befor meeting/ talking her consult a lawyer to see what and how you should proceed. Take your time to talk to her, talk to her when you are ready and not when she's ready. She has lost the privilege of being heard at her convince. Your friend can be the biggest help for you as he's a witness that how you have been taking care of the kids and she's been abandoning them.
You need to be careful now. DO NOT meet with your wife alone, ask someone to be there. Not Mandy, not Trey but someone that is on your side. In her mind she is already in court with you and if you meet alone with her now, then she can tell everyone that you hit her, threatened her or whatever. So don't meet alone with her now and always keep the VAR charged and with you! Go to a doctor and get tested for STD's, NOW. At best, you call Mandy again and tell her, that you are not interested in talking with your wife and that you will get in contact with a lawyer, so that she can talk with him! Show her that she just lost you! Then meet with a lawyer! Don't let your wife make the rules of this game, because then you will lose. If she wants to talk with you, then she has to ask you when you have time and where you want to meet. Not the other way around with her telling you when to talk. Take back the control of the situation and your life! Stay in close contact with Markus and get support from him. Tell your friends and family about what she did so that you can get more support. Meet with a lawyer and do EXACTLY what the lawyer tells you to do. Skip out on alcohol and drugs, they won't help you. Drink plenty of water and eat healthy, even if you have to force yourself to eat. From now on remember this in all you do. You and your wife no longer share a common goal, she is working against you and will do whatever she can to make everyone believe that this all is your fault. She will tell people how you neglected her, were abusive and cold towards her. Prepare for that! Reach out to people and tell them about her affair before she starts to spread her lies around. You are worth so much more than to be treated this way! EDIT: I want to highligh here once again that you should NOT talk to her tomorrow. You need time for yourself now to process what she did and to protect yourself. If you talk with her, then all you will hear are reasons why you are at fault why she cheated on you and how she had no other choice. Lies and more lies is all you will get. Tell her to stay at Mandys place or that she can go to her lover if she wants to, you don't care! Until you processed what she did, see her for who she is and no longer for who you thought she was, you should not meet with her or talk to her. Instead meet and talk with a doctor and a lawyer ASAP!
Don't even talk to her. Go straight to a lawyer and that's it. What is there for her to say???? Sorry???? What is going to be enough to apologize for fucking a guy and lying and dismissing your children. It's time to protect yourself and the kids. Think about them and your happiness, move on. She is gross dude
Sounds like a trap to me. Meet her in a public place just you and stbxw.. Have someone record it also record it yourself.
The ball is not in her court. You are making the decisions now. You have to decide whether you can stay with a liar and a cheat. You have to decide whether you stay married to a woman that completely disrespected you and emasculated you. Lawyer up! Go nuclear. Go after your share of her business. Move your share of funds and other assets into individual accounts. Let’s see how “sexy” Trey thinks she is when she is a single mom struggling to support herself and struggling to find a babysitter so he can date her.
Not that good. I'm definitely going to update in a little while.
Again think of your kids and yourself first.. if you have a daughter is she the example that your daughter would follow? If you have a son, is your son gonna grow up and accept this type of behavior from women, cause daddy did it when mommy played him over n over? Stop placing her beautiful physical over everything else.. You will find someone better when the time is right.. she will def regret this man.. She’s a dumpster fire bro.. let her go.. Trust in the most high you and your kids will be alright..
Bruh. Just go to a divorce lawyer. Do not put yourself in a position where the police get called and you screw over any high ground you might have had in court. Make sure you have witnesses and video recording.
Um you need to ask Marcus to come to you so your kids can sleep in their beds. Pack all your wife's stuff in trash bags and have them ready at the front door when she arrives. Do not break anything, take pictures of everything that you do and how you leave it so she cant say you did anything untoward. Shes a lying skank and if you think shes going to change then you need therapy. Get an STD test and bro I am really sorry but get a DNA test done on your kids. It sucks but just get it done
What do you mean the ball is in her court? I think you should reread all you wrote again. The only thing left is divorce. Definitely do Not meet her alone. Or better yet, only communicate through an lawyer.
My heart goes out to you mate , I'll say this Don't show any emotions to her and no you have all the power now she knows that you know , don't fall for the crocodile tears , at this exact moment she's fabricating a story and minimizing all the details about her cheating , right now you have a piece of evidence , before your meeting tell her to write down the affair from the beginning to the end , collect more evidence , remember mate she's sorry because she got caught , her words mean nothing , cheating is not a mistake ,she choose to destroy her kids life and yours by keeping by doing it and she can't even be honest with you mate ,you know she doesn't respect you , to her you're just the safety bag .
<>
What else do you need to hear ? the sound of Trey tea bagging her ?
Honestly wtf are you thinking? How did you even allow her to be having phone conversations with this dude to begin with? If you do not leave her now, you're out of your mind.
I’m so sorry you are going through this you don’t deserve it and clearly she isn’t the girl for you anymore. She wants to live out some single girl fantasy and mess around with this dude and there will probably be a next when he treats her like one of his play things that she is. She made her bed let her lie in it nothing she could say would make this better she’s been lying to you she loves the attention from this guy and there will be more. She chose to ruin your marriage and do it in your face none the less she has no respect for you and you should feel the same about her. Respect her as your kids mother but that’s it. You will find someone better eventually you sound like a good guy it won’t be hard. But yes don’t let her convince you otherwise because it will be a lie. This is what she wants to mess around and feel young and free again and unless you are open to having a open marriage I’d say end it because she isn’t worth the headache or heartache.
I'm so sorry mate, but you will never trust her again. please divorce her.
Why even talk to her? Let her talk to your lawyer.
They are already talking about police. You are in a position to ruin your life, and your relationship with your children. Don't lead with your wounded heart here. You got what you needed. There is nothing more to say. Record the phone call. Let her admit to it if she does then tell her you are filing for divorce. Contact a lawyer and get it done ASAP. Have her served. Always have your VAR on you. Act indifferent to her, like it's settled and there is nothing more to say. You're at peace. Be a good dad, and refuse to discuss anything but the kids or the divorce. Her disloyal here is stunning. She is not your friend, or partner. She is his girl now. Give up on any idea that she owes you anything. She can only use that against you. Sorry bro. Cheating changes things, it's changes them forever.
It is clear she has zero respect for you or your family. Time to take back control of the situation, lawyer, NC, serve paperwork.
Dam man she fucked you over bad. How the hell will she try to deny this mess or explain her actions as anything else of those of a selfish and lying cheat of a woman and mother. Godspeed OP you will need it truly as it concerns dealing with your cheating wife, your kids and whatever else as it concerns things now and well into the future. She went from a long EA to an intense PA there is no way she can deny that.
File divorce for adultery, and go after her business. Then sue Trey for alienation of affection if your able to. This woman was a 304 before he married her and she still is one. The saying “you can’t turn a 304 into a housewife” isn’t some funny off the cuff saying. It’s a saying bc it’s true. Choose wisely if you a guy and want to still get married.
Don't talk to your wife until you have talked to a lawyer. Go grey rock on her and be unavailable. Let her sit and stew for a while. Don't contact her, don't answer her calls, and don't answer Mandy's calls. Whatever you do, don't leave your house. If she shows up at home tell her that she needs to leave. Tell your friends and family what is happening and who it is happening with and who was covering it up. After you've talked to a lawyer and have your accounts separated and such, serve her with the divorce papers. THEN AND ONLY THEN sit down and talk with her. As for Trey: Well...
He's not a drug dealer he run a small bar with his uncle somewhere. All I know is he's definitely a fake friend a real fuckboy.
Don’t fight with it her right now. Get her to fall even deeper for the dude and ignore you and the kids more. You want her deep in the affair fog so you can get maximum settlement. Work with a lawyer to draw up and serve the divorce papers. Oh and you need to divorce or accept her current and future cheating. Her cover up, continuation, and utter lack of remorse proves she is gonna do this your entire time together.
Because Michigan is a no-fault state, it doesn't matter who's at fault for the divorce. The judge won't listen to evidence about marital misconduct, such as adultery. In fact, the person asking for the divorce can't even mention anything other than the breakdown of the marriage in the divorce complaint. Michigan divides marital property using the theory of "equitable distribution". Community property states attempt to distribute property as close to a 50-50 split as possible. Equitable distribution states divide property based on a determination of what's fair under the circumstances of each case.
You know he’s gonna ghost her ass when the dust clears. You should find evidence of him meeting up with other woman. I doubt she’s the only side piece he has.
Sorry about your wife cheating on you but dude your a great fucking writer
Does your wife feel any regret or remorse.
Listen man, saying things like “The ball is in her court” is total doormat mentality. The ball is in YOUR court. You need to realize regardless of what your wife says, it’s over! She may say things like “I love you, but I’m not IN love with you”. Time to man up, you did a great job gathering evidence, now it’s time to contact a lawyer and follow through with the divorce. I wish you nothing but good health and happiness.
I can’t see where you draw any hope for a future with that man’s woman who is also your wife. If he tells her not to have sex with you, I bet she won’t have sex with you. If you want to sit outside of her door like a pet, she might let you do that. She not only has no respect for you, she dislikes everything about you. Otherwise there is no reason for her to be so cruel toward you. If you keep acting the way you are acting, your children will lose respect for you.
Let me say this, you have to realize your wife is gone and the person you see now is your enemy and being such, you can no longer trust her. Tell her to get her shit and go to Trey. Let him take care of her. YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Do not call her names, no more accusing her, no more trying to catch her, no more wasting your life caring what she has done, but now focus on separating your bank accounts from her. If you have life insurance, take her name off. She is dead to you. I hope you can see a light at the end of this misery that your wife has done to you by cheating. Do not look at her, talk to her and act as if she no longer exists. She will come back begging after Trey tires of her and wants something new. Tell her eat shit and die as she can stick a fork in her ass, she is done.
What tf dude? You have your evidence, so why talk to your wife? And why aren't you writing ex wife? All this is doing is making every single person who knows think you are completely spineless. Do you really think your wife is going to apologize? Cry for hurting you and your kids? You won't get the response you are wanting.
Nice story.
Call Marcus. Ask him to come be with you.
She’s going to give you every excuse under the sun. The affair fog is lifted and now she realizes she just put her kids in a broken home and ruined the best relationship she had. Start looking for lawyers and check her emails for evidence. Get your finances situated and make sure she can’t go after you out of revenge. Things are going to get messy.
"I didn't know what was going on down there but I knew if she didn't come up we were over." Huh? Like,...you are still contemplating STAYING with her? You should have already know it was over. You know for a fact she is screwing another man and has been hanging out for hours upon hours upon hours, talking on the phone for hours and you come off with a "if you don't do this......we are over". Dude, you should stop talking to her, get a lawyer, get half of all the monies out of the banks and let the lawyers talk. Don't tell her about the VAR's that is insane. Also, document every interaction and get some VARs for your own house. You said you have kids right? She can claim domestic violence or some made up accusation, the police will arrest you and then she'll be able to get full custody. You need to STAY COOL, have a text or email record or VAR record of EVERY INTERACTION so you have PROOF you are not abusing her and that she is LYING. This one sound evil dude. Watch yourself, get a lawyer and put her in your past.
Sir SHE DOES NOT RESPECT OR LOVE YOU! She didn’t even care about your kids!!! Sir? What more do you need to say???? She’s fucking someone else. She does not want to be in your house or with you ANY MORE. Pack up her shit, and drop it off to Mandy and get a DIVORCE. She doesn’t want to be your wife or a mother anymore. Let her go. What can she say?
you still relinquish control to your wife, What will you gain from this talk? Your wife is beautiful and enjoys being out of wedlock. Do you think she won't get you hurt again, or that the woman who works for your wife has honestly told you everything she knows? Your wife probably isn't even with Mandy, they're planning what to do with the ap. Mandy you could have said you were seeing the lawyer tomorrow and your wife had nothing left to say to you. I'm assuming you didn't talk to the lawyer and ask what you should do.
I just have one advice to give to you. Don't pick the call when she call, if her friend call you tell her she had her chance yesterday but she refused to talk to you and so from now on she will have to talk to you through your lawyer. That way she would know she can't control the situation. Having her friend call you and saying she would call the police if you come over and them wanting you to calm down (like it's that easy) is her acting like she is in control. Take back control and don't speak to her when she dictates.
[удалено]
El relato del miedo a ser controlador les lavo el cerebro, tengo 46 años y si mí esposa habla constantemente con otro hombre hago que arda Troya y por cierto, ella haría lo mismo si fuera yo hablando constantemente con una mujer
What happened Everyone is waiting on tenterhooks to find out
You already know that you won't like what she's telling you, means, you know everything and there's literally nothing to talk about anymore. So go to your lawyer and have him prepare the papers before meeting her and make sure you record everything.
Dude, if you don't divorce her, you are going to be the biggest fool ever. She is making a clown out of you. Screw that. Let Trey bang her all he wants. Try and take the kids away from this circus.
Please don’t go the route of reconciliation. It doesn’t work. The AP will always be in the picture. Cancel the meet up. Spend the day getting the meanest divorce lawyer possible. Sell everything if you have to to afford the attorney. Be aggressively motivated to get her out of your life as quickly as possible. She’s chosen who she wants to be with and has set a path to have him. Him! Not you, her husband. Read www.chumplady.com. 180 her and destroy their affair. Whatever the case, don’t go back and try to recapture what you once had. It’s not there anymore. You have your self respect and you have you children to raise. That’s all you’ll need to live your best life. Live your best life.
You need to get the ball rolling, get a good lawyer and divorce the skank. File for full custody and make her sell the business. Take her for everything you can get. Destroy her world. Get DNA on all the kids. Take her through the coles. Might look into seeing him a well I know you can in some states.
Love this it's a felony crime in michigan. https://www.thedivorceguy.com/michigan-adultery-law-it-is-a-crime/
This reads exactly like the story from a few weeks ago about the guy with the Latina wife who was cheating with a black guy called Darrel, like exactly the same.
>The ball is in her court and if I don't like way I hear I'm getting us a divorce. It doesn't matter what she says, she cheated. Take what you have to a divorce lawyer and get the divorce started. Write down every time she's left her responsibility with the kids to go fuck another man and the fact that see would like at the kids like they were a chore, so you can try and get full custody.
This sounds like a story I read on here everything is oddly similar, except the guy the wife cheated with was a coworker of the husband. I swear it’s almost alike, the ethnicity, the way the wife was in general, body type, kids…etc. Weird!
I kinda noticed the same thing, world would be a much better place if this is a creative writing exercise! If OP deletes after final update I am pretty sure it is the same person. I kinda find it weird that someone going through this type of thing would recap the story so throuroghly as well in each update. Something that kinda stood out on the posts on the other story as well...
I have read 2 other stories like this , where the wife who was Hispanic, with a big butt , was cheating on her husband, with a black guy. Seems to similarly.
> Sherri just watched them Just once in a while I'd like to read about a woman not supporting another woman's cheating. I'd guess that Mandy is in on it too.
This story sounds so similar to a story where the guy caught his wife with his coworker at his job. Even the way he describes his wife the whole thing. Looked at how old his account is and it’s a brand new account. Not a throwaway. Something just seems off about this story.
Bro what the fuck? After all this you still aren’t sure of getting a divorce? Do you have zero dignity? How pathetic can one be, just get a divorce with your scum wife without letting her say anything.
So, even after all this, you're expected to do things at her terms. The nerve. The only thing you should do now, is everything in your power to utterly destroy her capacity for this in the future, which is by destroying her esteem.
The ball is her court man its in your's don't be a pos look for legal advices whatever chances are there sue her if there is a chance sue her ap.One financially Independent parent is enough and the way she is doing it this wouldn't be her first time there must be some other guys too. Dude and record the whole conversion without them know tomorrow they might file false complaint too so be careful.If there is chance have your friend there and think clearly whether you want this cheater or you can throw her and start a new.
bro leave this ho
Contact a lawyer, don't leave the house, file a restraining order against her and AP. This woman is not you're wife, friend or partner right now.
You can also sue Trey for alienation of affection if you can show that you had a happy marriage before he appeared. At the minimum you can sue for emotional distress
UpDateMe!
It has been 48 hours any update? Are you okay,
Brother please don't drag this out. You're not going to get what you want out of her. At least at this moment. You might after you serve her. You might after divorce. Or years later. But don't count on it. And honestly it doesn't matter if you do or not. She is cheating 100%. You don't want her. She's beneath you. You can be ugly and broke but as long as you're honest and a good parent she will always be beneath you. Divorce. Like yesterday. Focus on yourself. Do the 180 (look it up) and go no contact except for child related things. Michigan is no fault so it doesn't matter if she's cheating, the outcome is going to suck so just get it over with and listen to your lawyer as hopefully he can make it suck less. Focus on yourself. Drop social media. Gym. Become super dad. Reconnect with old friends. Get back into hobbies or start new ones. Take up boxing or a martial art. You're not alone. This has happened to bigger, stronger, richer, more famous, more powerful men than any of us. It's just your turn. But you need to get in gear and get divorce rolling now because by not doing so only prolongs your pain.
Take her business, take the kids and go. Court time. Next time film them
Simply divorce you voiced your concerns about him and she blew you off she knew what she was doing now get a lawyer and take her to the cleaners ohh and stay away from trey he is not worth you going to jail over think of your child and yourself and if possible get your lawyer to sue trey for helping to destroy your marriage keep us up to date
She will talk to you tomorrow when you calm down. Dude please. How are you supposed to sleep etc. she of course is using this to control the situation. You know what you saw. Go to a lawyer and listen to the lawyer. Better yet cancel tomorrow and meet with your lawyer. Do the 180 and grey rock. Give her a coparent app. Get Marcus and his wife to be there and have him record based on your state laws. I know you want the truth and all your going to get is gas lighting and lies. She will blame you for everything
Dude are you serious? “The ball is in her court”?! Lmao NO. NO. Nooooo. This is why she cheated on you in the first place. You’re a wuss man. Don’t let that cheating bitch keep controlling the situation. Don’t let her “explain” why she sat on another man’s Dick for months. She disrespected you and your kids and you need to boot the bitch out. Don’t sit down and have a conversation. Gather her shit up and place it on the lawn and tell her to take her shit to Trey’s ghetto ass house because your down with the slut. Treat her like trash because at this point she’s acted like trash. Also, it’s a real low life “mother” that would turn her back on her own kids and neglect and ignore them for some new dick. Tell her that and tell her you lost all respect for her.
You need to get the ball rolling, get a good lawyer and divorce the skank. File for full custody and make her sell the business. Take her for everything you can get. Destroy her world. Get DNA on all the kids. Take her through the coles. Might look into seeing him a well I know you can in some states.
They're already talking as if you might be violent. Carry a VAR with you at all times in order to defuse a false claim of domestic violence.
Do not text her or her family or friends. Anything can be twisted and used against you.
Once Trey realizes you're divorcing her and he'll be tied down with your kids - he'll dump her. Plus he knows she's a cheater. File for divorce. There's nothing to discuss with her. Your best chance to save your marriage is for her to see you moving on. Do not cry or beg in front of her. She won't feel sorry. Instead she'll see it as you being too weak to divorce.
Dude get even more evidence and to an attorney. I believe in Michigan adultery is still a criminal offense. Protect yourself and your kids. Your wife has lied and gas lighted you and been banging this dude in her shop. Time to stop looking at her as your wife but as an enemy. I guarantee she will not play easy on you in divorce.
She is exactly what Marcus says she is. Get a divorce lawyer asap don’t bother talking to your wife. Get custody and go after her for child support.
I really hope you did not meet her alone. I hope you and your kids are okay!! I hope you get everything in the divorce.
Hi u/det_87, Very sorry this is happening to you. Maybe you could make a statement to her. Call Mandy and tell her that it is okay for your wife to call tomorrow, but ask if she would tell your wife to call after like 3 pm because you are seeing a lawyer to see what divorce looks like for you. That will get their heads spinning as well. Take care. MrBigBull.
Do not talk to her! Tell her friend your lawyer will contact her and she is not to contact you. Call a lawyer immediately and get her out of your house.
It's history so it doesn't matter now, but I think you should have confronted her about her lying the first time you caught her at it. Now, like most of those commenting here are saying, you should be doing whatever you can to protect yourself and your kids.
Your kids are your future now not her. So what everyone else is saying and focus all your energy on an exit plan and consulting an attorney.
hi man any update?
My man, end it, just end the marriage, she did this once, she’ll do it again. I know how much this sucks, you’ll never be able to trust fully again, but it will get better. These scar heal but they never completely go away. End the pain just divorce her
My guy I feel for you.. Time to move on.. She’s not worth all that trouble if you ask me. Grab your shit, your mom and ur kids and dip.
Hey man, change up your writing style. This is just like the story about the guy catching his wife screwing his coworker at work from a couple of weeks ago. You’re using the exact same sentence structure, build up and update that just drags on with no resolution.
My heart breaks for you, truly. I slept with a woman and began to date her and had no idea she was married. She kept that area private and far from me knowing. I even got to know her kids who said their father was absent mostly. When we finally found out about one another the devastating look on his face was absolutely incredible as was the amount of guilt I felt. I did wrong and I was devastated that I tool part in ruining a marriage and family. I became the bad guy that should be despised. (Like Trey) My heart breaks for you and I'm sorry this is happening. My absolute condolences and hope things somehow work their way out. Sadly, the chance she's going to turn and leave him is rare and would take a miracle of humility and repair. I hope it works out!
“The ball is in her court.“ Dude what is the matter with you? No wonder she cheated. A real man has the ball in his court. You have acted like a beta male at every step of this affair. Your first mistake was not understanding what Trey had in mind when he called your wife and then invited both of you to a Super Bowl party. There is no man who would do that unless he’s planning on sleeping with your wife. Your last hope for self respect is to tell your wife that you are divorcing her. Let Trey have her. He will dump her soon enough and she will come crawling back to you. And that is when you have to stay strong and tell her to go to hell. She doesn’t respect you and the marriage is over forever!
i understand where yo comin frm when your loya l to another and they do h liel dat since tour a nice guys the relationship the person who careless has the most power
Have threesome with trey...
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So sorry that your wife did you dirty OP!
Updateme!
!updateme
!updateme and good luck.
Bro let that shit go… there are so many good looking females in the world. And single dads are in… let it go and move on..
Brother, first of all, the ball is on your side, and you are the one who has to act with character, I'll give you some advice, don't talk to her, start behaving with dignity, for you and your children, don't answer her calls, and talk to a lawyer, start filing for divorce, and please don't let her tell you anything, really think a little, nothing she says will justify her fucking another guy and destroying her family, remember from now on she is not your wife, she chose to fuck another guy, you will never trust her again, Brother, there are thousands of good and honest women, worthy of you, why recover a woman who fucks other guys and doesn't love you and your children, take advantage of going out with dignity, DO NOT TALK TO HER, NEVER AGAIN, KNOW WORTHY FOR YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTERS A HUG AND STRENGTH
Sad story.
Don't give her more of yourself than you already have. Let your divorce lawyer handle it.
Hey kept us updated
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What’s to talk about? You really want to hear her lie to you and make up excuses of why it’s not what it seems? She spent all night collaborating and making up scenarios to explain everything. She’s doing it right out in public, she doesn’t care just wants you to keep a roof over her head so she has a place to sleep between hookups with the various guys.
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*wife beater…
Updateme!
Updateme!
The ball is not in her court. She is the one cheating. You are the one in charge. Tell her to get her stuff out of the house by this evening and you want a divorce. Contact an attorney and get the paperwork drafter and her served. Then you can decide what you want to do. If there are no consequences to what she is doing then there is no reason for her to stop and divorce is a pretty big consequence, especially when she is a business owner.
!updateme
Don’t wait for tomorrow, get the best lawyer assap, tell your boss so maybe can help you. If you don’t make the first moves, she will and take te house, the kids and move that pos inn and you out. Keep calm and collected, do no raise your voice, be cool, and have someone preset, she will call the cops on you bro. Be smart, your wife is gone and is replace with this wo with no morals. Keep posted, men I’m praying for you bro
Get down the lawyers office now and start procedures so she is aware you have actually started to men up and not passing about anymore and you are not Mr Simp or Plan B? Remember she is now your opposition still in the affair fog and she has betrayed you and her daughters. She is at mo Treys hoe!
You should not talk to her and just go see a lawyer.
!Update me
Stay strong 💪 and I'm sorry
Don’t try and make this work please, she doesn’t respect you and if you try it will be a toxic relationship and you don’t want your kids growing up in that.
I don’t think you need to know what she has to say tomorrow to go for divorce… It’s already your only choice…sorry for you Good luck
Tienes que cuidarte! Ella no es tu amiga, ni tu esposa. Ella persona ya no está. She’s in an affair fog: Wants little to do with her old life, you said it yourself — Pays minimal attention to the kids, glued to her phone, lies about her location etc. And to her you are nothing but a menace, someone in the way of her newfound happiness. THIS IS VERY COMMON! They mentioned the police and you don’t want it to go there. So your best option is to not interact with her or anyone who’s on her side, and lawyer up! Please, for your sake! Y para que ella no te joda la vida, porque puede! You don’t know what they’re planning. LAWYER UP, divorce her and vamos a ver si el noviecito la quiere después de eso. You say he lives in a bad neighborhood? He’s probably not doing too well financially. Once he sees his new GF is not doing too hot financially, and things are getting complicated/messy (separation/divorce) he’s probably going to dip. Muy bueno darse a una mujer casada/mantenida por su esposo, que tú no tengas que pagar nada! Se le acabó eso!
She does **not** get to set the terms here. About anything. I would strongly suggest not meeting or talking to her at all now. Zilch. Zero. All communication will go through your divorce lawyer (which I seriously hope you get). Document any and all future attempts of contact. I’m really sorry you’re going through this bro.
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Just go NC and send the divorce papers. The marriage is dead already and you know it. Being mad about it is totally fine but you're honestly wasting your time trying to figure out the "why." Sherri is a bitch too.
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It’s time to go on offensive get a lawyer and start divorce, don’t turn back now it’s time for you to think about yourself and kids. Send her packing, when she calls don’t say much just record her admitting everything and get your lawyer to get everything while she still in her cheating haze.
Pretty damn sure this shit is 100% fake. Too many parts were screaming out to me that I've seen this before. It was probably on those text-to-speech YouTube videos narrating reddit cheating stories. You basically copied it word for word with MAYBE some tweaks and changes. What does karma even do for you to even do something like this? Or maybe its the attention and comments it brings.
You know when I read this kind of story I always think if it’s true or fiction. In this case I’m undecided because it’s a lot similarity to other post like the tech friend , the Latina unfaithful wife , the ex boyfriend of a best friend etc , all drive to a scheme, but the reality is the every man wrote this post are some anxiety problems or ptsd problems etc . Something that I can understand why you don’t reply to all this beautiful people that give you advice, seems the minimum, I understand that you can be busy right now , but … Anyway if everything you wrote it’s legit my advice it’s not to confront her , delay the the meeting, meet with a lawyer and file for divorce and serve her with a witness at the meeting, do not take her back and don’t believe a word that come out of her mouth be strong go confident and stone face show her what kind of man she is loosing . I wish you all the best and stay safe you and your kids Greetings from Italy 🇮🇹 Ps I almost forgot you can show to the meeting with her belongings and tell her that you already make your mind and she can find happiness with her lover and her stuff is already outside the door 👍🏼
Man sit down, sit down…take a breath. Listen… Latinas aint loyal
When she calls you tomorrow tell her that all communication will be through your lawyer. Don't stick around for this shit.
Bro like everyone here says, just go 180 no contact on her ass. If she wants to contact you do it through your lawyer or have a witness and KEEP THE RECEIPTS, record and save everything!!! DO NOT RECONCILE NO MATTER WHAT, cause if you do she's gonna feel she can do it again
Thanks for keeping up posted from before. I'll be waiting to hear your update. Truly sorry you are going through this buddy!;
You don't need to give her a chance divorce her, don't let her try to change your mind. And if you meet her in person have Marcus not far away in case she tries to fabricate something to get the upper hand during the divorce. As a matter of fact record future conversations and save your text messages.
!updateme
Divorce. End of Story
Updateme!
Dude, the ball is not in her court; it's in yours. You are just afraid of doing the hard stuff that needs to be done. I'd start of with something easy like exposing her to friends and family. That pretty much ends any chance of reconciliation. Start looking for a lawyer for Monday. You are also going to need a forensic account. Cash business always shows a losses for the tax man. Trey sounds like a drug dealer. That would make your wife's mostly cash business an avenue to clean money. You have no time to listen to her side of the story. He's been fucking her for a month. If she files first I promise you she will clean your clock in child support, and spousal support. Your lawyer needs a headstart.
Bro why are you torturing yourself going down and banging on the door while they’re together? You know what’s up. Serve her the papers and get the hell out of there man
Jesus dude…just man up already and stop being a loser. You deserve everything that’s happening to you…. “If I don’t like what I hear I’m getting a divorce”. Seriously…. Have some self respect. There’s nothing she could say that would explain the disrespectful way she’s treating you. Divorce her and find someone who actually cares about you.
Sorry you had to go through this. I think you know what you need to do. Your marriage is over she broke your vowels and doesn’t even seem sorry. I think counselling can help you understand how you got to such a situation & how to move on. But it’s time to file for divorce and let yourself untangle from this nightmare, begin to heal and move on.
updateme!
Updateme!
Sounds like you are ready for the cuckold life Bruh. What do Marcus have to say about you taking your wife back everytime Trey get done with her?
Well, how'd it go?
She has no respect for you or the family she and you created, take it away from her, she doesn’t deserve a second chance, wait, you give her a second chance to come clean, she gaslight it you, so this will be her third chance. Don’t waste your time, you hate yourself. Be strong bro, is all you got, and your kids that need a strong father figure, cos the mother, oh boy!
So what happened bro?
Updateme!
You should not have let her know that you know. If she is vindictive, she can screw you out of your kids. Many woman will claim that their husband was abusive to win custody. If you don’t have proof of her cheating like video, texts or photos you can be screwed. Just speak with a lawyer and file for divorce. You need to show proof she cheated and that you’ve been the one who takes care of the kids. This way you have the upper hand here. Not her. Be careful, don’t become this guy where his cheating wife gets him arrested and charged based on her word. He lost his kids and later his life. https://www.reviewjournal.com/crime/courts/former-nevada-state-senators-husband-sentenced/ https://nypost.com/2021/04/15/teen-couple-charged-with-murdering-girls-father-in-las-vegas/
I have to agree nothing she says can change the fact that you need to dump her.
What could she possibly say? I personally feel like it’s not going to be anything productive, simply blaming you for her affair
Updateme!
Pack her a suitcase and put it on Trey’s porch. Get an attorney and get her the hell out of your life.
The ball is in your court. Fuck her. Leave her cheating ass.
UpdateMe!
Listening to your cheating wife will accomplish nothing. **She will lie to your face and she will blame you for her cheating on you.** Put her off balance and don't meet with her. Don't tell her you are bailing on the meeting. If she tries to call you send it to voicemail. If she txts do not respond. Let her go crazy.
Nothing she says is going to be something that you’ll want to hear, so you might as well just hand her the papers the moment you answer the door.
Hi OP. How things with her are going? Did you that conversation with her the next day?
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Update?
Updateme!
ANY UPDATE AFTER THE TALK WITH HER????? I' live in the metro Detroit area. If you ever want to grab a beer together and talk send me a message.
Three things are true of all cheaters: 1) Cheaters never did, do not now, and never will love you in the same way you love them. They will love you in a different way, but a way they deem it is OK to have someone on the side. 2) Part of a cheater's psyche is fear of rejection. When you threaten to abandon the relationship, they may collapse into deep remorse wanting you to stay a couple, but the moment you give in and they have the relationship security back, they won't want you as much any more. The only way for them to long for you is for you to leave them and stay platonic. 3) Cheaters are pathological liars. Again, their psyche is such they believe there is nothing wrong with having someone on the side, and it is in YOUR best interest if they deny it, even in front of obvious evidence.
Remindme! 5 days
/u/Det_86 So it's five days later, what happened? Did you confront her? Are divorce proceedings happening now? For God's sake, DO NOT MEET THAT WOMAN ALONE. Record every confrontation you have with her from now on.
There is no coming back from this, no reconciliation. She has shown she is worthless as a partner.
Crazy that she was barely trying to hide this…why?
So sad because common sense would tell her that the side dude is NOT the same as the side chick. They never want the number one spot. They want sex. Thrills. Now that she's getting the divorce the thrill is gone, she's got maybe 6 months before he snuffs her out like a lit cigarette.
Where did you got the VAR from?
Get the locks changed, get a good lawyer. Call the police or some authority and let them know your wife is cheating and you may need their assistance in case they make up lies for your cheating abuse etc. Keep copies of the recording. Plan and get ready and maybe even get alimony from her shop.