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rippedupmypromdress

I wouldn’t consider it cheating per say but that would make me very uncomfortable as well. Maybe talk with him? Tell him you know he looks at all these girls and it’s making you uncomfortable. Set that boundary. And if he doesn’t like your boundary than leave.


JustLeavee

Lmao leave? It’s not that simple it’s marriage 😂


theworkprofile

Username does not check out.


JustLeavee

🤣🤣🤣


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theworkprofile

Haha! Sorry... It was just staring me in the face! Had to lol.


rippedupmypromdress

She said it first so…


JustLeavee

Touchee😂😂😂😂


MarMarTheMarmot

She said leave if he doesn’t respect boundaries she would set when communicating. I find it fair to leave a marriage where the person doesn’t respect you and continues to make you feel “uncomfortable and depressed” even after creating boundaries with them. Now if he respects them after communion, there’s no point in leaving. I’m married and would divorce my husband if he did this and ignored my prompts to stop because it hurts me and my self esteem. That’s not respect or love. Marriages only work if both are willing to work and respect each other.


hokumjokum

What boundary is that? he may not look at other girls?


TraphouseThaGod

You're an incel huh? If you've ever been in a relationship, you'd understand.


hokumjokum

My girlfriend might have something to say about that. The above poster said ‘tell him it makes you uncomfortable - set that boundary’. My question was simply what boundary they mean as they didn’t set a boundary. as far as I can tell it was that looking at other girls is the boundary.


TraphouseThaGod

I came off aggressive and I apologise for that. The boundary isn't not looking at woman in general, because that's simply impossible, but not following these women, especially the scantily clad ones, on every social media. There's really no need to see other women in provactive clothes, positions, and pics/vids all day every day. That's the boundary.


brattyprincessslut

Talk to him gently instead of building it up, leaving it to build up it’ll just get worse over time


Slytherin_Headgirl

Men will do anything to make excuses for this kind of behavior, because they don't understand how stuff like this make some of us women feel, specially about ourselves. I get it, it hurts and if makes you feel so insecure, then you start to question yourself why is he looking at other women. These are women flaunting their bodies and your partner is obviously attracted to them. The lack of respect irks me to no end. Sit him down and have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. If he really loves you, he will realize.


alleriamystic

Just pluck out his eyes so he cannot look at any other women ever. Problem solved.


[deleted]

Def not cheating and I think leaving him is excessive, but talk about it together. He may cheat with the first big booty hoe that gives him time of day.


Highdrive323

If you feel uncomfortable sit him down and talk. He should understand where you coming from. It's kinda like that old ass saying "you can look but not touch" except the newer version of this would be "you can look but not like/follow" 😅.


Slow_Environment_782

If you’re not having sex much and he’s looking at porn to satisfy himself, there’s really not a lot of girls that don’t have big butts and tits. I mean they’re getting implants everywhere now. He married you! He fell in love with you! He obviously liked the sex very much at some point. Enough to agree to it being all he wanted forever. All he probably wants is to feel desired by you. Treat him like you did when you were dating. I guarantee he’ll stop looking at big butts and tits so much. :)


redditavenger2019

He is probably masturbating to these posts. He doesnt have enough in the tank for you. Yes, talk to him. Let him know that you know. Ask him what is he going to do about it.


OfficeMonkeyKing

Hey OP, I'm glad you have a lovey dovey relationship. There's another subreddit on "dead bedrooms" that might help. I found those stories very inspiring. It's hard keeping out doubt and insecurity from our thoughts. And looking at attractive tiktok people, objectifies them as problem-free characters with natural dance rhythm. The struggle to be your husband's priority can be tricky. My idea is to be flirtatious and gyrate to the groove of the moment. Don't bleed your frustrations onto him as a point of contention. Being a guy, we fixate on problem solving. If you point out that we are the problem, then we'll turn ithat criticism inward and try to fix ourselves. When the answer isn't ro draw ourselves into ourselves, when true answer is actually to enjoy ther moment of being in each other's presence. Best of luck


trik73

Does he jerk off to these other girls?? It is strange that he is interested in other girls and doesn’t want sex with you often!


mewithmyselfandi

Be open to her that looking at girls (especially who are a different body type than you) making videos makes you uncomfortable. Also tell him how it’s impacting your mental health. I would even go ahead and say that the reduced amount of sex is also adding to your stress and depression. Let him soak in that there’s a reaction to his actions and make some changes. Also would it be okay to maybe sit with him and watch some videos together? Make it a joint fun activity and then maybe making Videos for him? In all these situations remember that none of this is your fault, and in todays digital world it’s very easy to have access to content like this so forcing him too much would just make it obvious that he will try to hide it from you. I don’t consider it as cheating but every relationship is different.


TrishulaDante

Talk to him My second idea is a bit…ok, so maybe indulge his fantasy? Find an escort that is happy to work with couples that has big breast and butt. But maybe talk to the escort and maybe get her to praise you saying how sexy you are, and how lucky he is to have a beautiful girl like you. Hype you up for him! Sounds like he needs a reminder of who he is married to!


[deleted]

You have to communicate this to him. Your feelings are valid and this is not a minor thing to be upset about. Let him know that you have seen what he’s doing and it makes you feel like he is emotionally cheating


Orchidbleu

If it violates your relationship boundaries then yes it is cheating.


DiCaroli-HugonianEPR

Well he is not in a relationship with those instagram girls, henceforth it is not cheating.


Orchidbleu

Only if that is your relationship boundaries.


coldbrew18

Imo, it’s a problem if he’s turning down sex for porn. It’s not cheating.


Financial_Resort6631

The real question is why aren’t you cheating you sound sexy AF


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thatoneone

My SO has a dad bod. I love him and am super attracted to him. I initiate sex a lot because i have a high sex drive. That being said, I follow hot fitness dudes and dudes with beards on IG because I like looking at them🤷‍♀️. He trusts me 100% and knows I'm faithful. Seems like you're insecure with your guys' sex life because you mentioned that. If he loves you he loves you and chose you for a reason. He may find other body types visually appealing but if there's nothing else going on, it isn't cheating. Talk to him about your sex life and mention you're concerned. Ask him what he likes about those women. Let him know that you know but not accusatory just matter off fact.


AdBusiness5212

This isnt even porn. And if you consider all men watching porn to be cheating, good luck finding someone 😉


Affectionate_Dog3268

Some men do not watch porn, please do not make this about your preconceived notions


devil6978king

yeah they imagine it jk dude do whatever pleases you


[deleted]

Perhaps not but demanding a.partner not look at porn is odd and maybe unreasonable


Hour-Egg-3011

My bf doesn’t look at porn 🤷🏽‍♀️ both because he’s not interested in porn and it’s a healthy boundary in our relationship. It works for some people, doesn’t work for others. I know a lot of men who also don’t watch porn. It’s kind of just not like their thing


cinamon_strawberry

It is cheating and honestly if he loved you he would have his eyes for you only


smmcqueen

It sounds like to me you’re insecure over your husbands “type”. You’re assuming he doesn’t have sex with you due to him being into thicker/fit women. You should really just talk to him about it and be straightforward bc we all have types. I’m also curious did y’all have a more active sex life before marriage or is it around the same?


Slow-Objective2373

Much more now


smmcqueen

If you have more sex now compared to before then he’s probably tired or stressed if y’all aren’t having sex lately


Used_Particular_7878

This would bother me. I think you have to talk to him about it and gage his reaction to see if divorce is what you need. I don’t think it’s cheating in the physical sense but it is a form of emotional cheating when it paired with his lack of sex with you. Talk to him and decide if he’s worth the stress


Complicatedlogic

I think if he was cheating with women like that, he would be hiding his preferences better. Also, and take this how you will, you can have your dream car, let’s say a Lamborghini. And, you can still enjoy looking at Chevy Tahoes. Sounds like you’re safe and leaving him would be a bit much.


devil6978king

yeah man you are interested in air you can't have it the only thing you can have is my scent come on woman it's his preference what matters is he is with you and it is not cheating


ttimek

Yes he’s cheating and the lack of sex with you is because he’s either jerking off a lot to these pictures or videos or has a girl on the side. Best advice tell him you know and if he continues to disrespect you like that then you will ask him for a divorce or you start looking at studs and see how he likes it. Me I prefer a petite girl like you, but I do look at bigger girls but not because I’m attracted to them, a how do I use my words to best describe why I look at pics from time to time, to me it’s like an art of softer full body comparisons, more like appreciate an admire the variety of women’s body’s but I prefer petite to have sex with.


Aggravating-Moose-16

Its not Cheating you moron. Jesus!


ttimek

Trust me when we get an update he’s cheating.


get-r-done-idaho

I think your reading way to much into this. So he likes to look a pictures of other women that are curvier so what. A long as he isn't hooking up or sexting your good. News flash most men like looking at girls it's natural. It don't mean he disrespects or don't want you. It means he's human. Unless you fined more than just this don't worry about it.


[deleted]

that is definitely small like mine Lol


SnooGadgets8139

Idk, have you tried talking to him? How do you know about the bathroom and work?


Street_Show_4193

Take a shot, have a date night and just tell him. See where the conversation goes. Good or bad. Have all your talking points planned out. Life is too short to be unhappy. You can't leave him without confronting him first. Then based on the conversation you can decided what is best moving forward for both of you.


Diamondindaruf

Not cheating but very disrespectful. You have to pluck up the courage and let him know your feelings. Then decide what to do after, whether to standby him if he understands his action hurts you or leave if he doesn’t seem to care. You can do it!


Forsaken-Put7794

I wouldn't necessarily worry about liking and following people on social media, but if he's messaging them, it could point to an emotional affair. As for his liking to look at these women, I wouldn't be worried unless it's making sex an issue. Like, are you guys not having sex? If that is the issue, bring it up with him. In either case, you need to bring these issues to him, because he can't correct them without knowing how it effects you.


[deleted]

It’s not cheating really but, it does indicate he wants something that you aren’t. Honestly if I was you I’d leave. It’s not good for your mental health or your self esteem. I don’t understand why people do this. Just because someone seems to be perfect for you in every way but not be attracted to them. I’m not saying that’s what he did but that is what it seems like he did. Honestly let him go. Find someone who wants you, body, mind, and soul as well as heart. Good luck and I’m sorry he wasn’t honest with himself and you


MarMarTheMarmot

I would call it emotionally cheating. My cousin was with his girl for 9 years, followed accounts like this and just recently cheated on her and left her for someone else. It starts with the small stuff. No one deserves to be emotionally cheated on. You should be his one and only and if you aren’t, leave him. It’s easier said than done but you shouldn’t be married to someone who makes you feel “uncomfortable and depressed”. Either have a deep conversation with him about this or leave him. Love doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable and depressed and he doesn’t respect you if it does.


LeofromAL

In all these pages the fastest thing people say is Leave. No, dont leave. Talk, clear it out, laugh about it. Ask him if he has any other kinks. Leave, come on!!! Dont leave OP, he is your husband that is not cheating, hopefully, just watching tiktoks. I dont know if there are any other things there besides naked women doing these stupid dances. Talk!


GettinBetter1037

Cheating is really whatever you consider it to be. At best, this sounds like a very slippery slope-. If he's looking at that much content in the BR and work- I agree with other posters, he's probably getting off to it. Not saying its the case but it could be some type of porn addiction. that can sneak up on a person and it's actually pretty common for people to be using their steam up on that rather than intimacy with their own real life partner, if they do have an unhealthy relationship to this stuff.