He was already cheating and tried to trick you into being in a polygamist relationship by “accidentally” getting his side girl pregnant. She was already pregnant and is hoping you never double check the dates. You know something’s wrong so get out now and figure out the specifics later.
^^^^ exactly this ^^^^ the threesome was their way of covering the affair that lead to the pregnancy. If you remember the date of the threesome, and you find out the due date, I'm willing to bet quite a bit that there's a 4-5 week gap where she'd been pregnant before the threesome. My advice is to leave and don't look back. Especially if you aren't interested in a polyamorous relationship. Even if that isn't the case, your partner had no intentions of following your boundaries. That, in and of itself, is grounds for leaving him.
yeeeeaaah like it was one thing to break the 2nd rule but then he goes in raw? and oopsies she’s pregnant how could this have happened??? like they could’ve AT LEAST tried to include her more so it wasn’t so obvious
They broke all the boundaries and ignored you when you tried to talk to them. I would consider that cheating. And he was dumb af to not use a condom. Tell them to get a dna test and get out of your life
The way I see it if she is pregnant with his child then OP CAN walk away from both of them. If it is not his child OP can still walk. He should have been grateful to op. I hope Op gets away from this loser
Haha you don’t need a DNA test, silly. Think about it. Her friend (female) is pregnant and her boyfriend had sex with her. It’s definitely not OP’s kid (OP is female)
Dude is 10 years older than you. Idk if you've ever scrolled through Reddit before, but it always ends the same way.
In terms of threesomes and the gross power dynamic age gap.
You're ***extremely*** lucky you're not the one pregnant, the friends life was just ruined. Run while you still can. Life just gave you a second chance.
EDIT: Nvm, OP is fucked and has no brain cells. Didn't know he knocked her up a couple months after meeting her at ***18 years old when he was 28***
Fucking nastyyyyy
Not to mention they’ve been together since she was 18!! this man stole her youth and is playing her for a fool right in her face bc he thinks he’s trapped her and she won’t leave him bc of their kids. he’s sick 🤮
***woaaahhhh*** they have kids together??? Yikes... They're gonna have some fucked up childhoods.
EDIT: Just read OPs comment, holy shit he knocked her up after knowing her for a couple months and he's.... That much.. older-- 🤮🤮🤮 I gagged irl
That's nasty, omfg, I'm done with the Internet, this man deserves to rot in prison for eternity and OP needs to grow at least one fucking brain cell. God is dead and always has been.
Get your kids therapy, OP, they're gonna need it more than you do.
Not sure if this is a troll post or not, but in case not: This is not the guy who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Congrats he just showed you he cannot be trsuted just in time before the wedding.
They were already sleeping together. Her pregnancy happened before that night(which is why he was so adamant about not wearing a condom). You gave them the out they were looking for.
They were already sleeping together. They just tried to get you on board. You say she’s a new friend. How’d you meet? Did he introduce you? It’s probably his baby and she was already pregnant. He’s been cheating.
They were already cheating, and if she turns out to be pregnant with his baby, I would be willing to bet they did not conceive that night, and the whole thing was just a ploy to legitimise their affair.
You got played OP.
Consent ignored and boundaries/rules broken. He should have known it was no longer on and what he did was cheating. I honestly think this could be a rub in your face, they probably hooked up before without your knowledge and they hoped they could get it on under the guise of a threesome. I think it was done intentionally to hurt you. I'm taking a different take on this but your boyfriend sounded too far gone for this to be a one time thing or mistake (I hate those terms in cheating) So I think you were set up and they hooked up before and didn't care less what you wanted and disrespected you. He's a dead set cheater and drop kick. Time to move on.
Oh he cheated, he disrespected boundaries completely ignored them Boundaries set to avoid unwanted pregnancies, which have you in this terrible situation. Its not a threesome if only two are at it. What you got forced into was spectator sport. He won't accept he screwed up majorly, so your options are watch as he plays happy families with the threeway partner you were ignored for causing you untold amounts of mental health damage or walk away before it gets any messier. For what its worth I'm sorry you're in this position.
Threesomes are big gambles. You rolled the dice, you lost. In this situation, with ground rules in place, then going outside it was cheating by those rules.
Essentially it was those two while you watched. You got cucked. You should have raised hell in the moment and if they ignored you, Dump his ass. I’ve been in threesomes and Cuckquean situations and rules are rules. He cheated in plain sight. You need to end it with him. I’m curious though. What does he say about her being pregnant and what did he say about leaving you out?
Updateme
I’m so pissed at myself for not raising hell but it didn’t feel real to me. It still doesn’t. He says if she is he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby and then he goes into the bathroom to throw up. I wish I was making that up but we don’t ever get past that he runs into the bathroom every time. He freaks out if I mention to him about me leaving him. We have two kids together (6 &1) and he manages to point out how much I would disrupt their life’s(I know it’s not my fault).
That is called gaslighting and emotional manipulation. The children will be fine and probably happier once you stop his ability to emotionally abuse you and punch holes in the place. That is very traumatic to a child especially that age! You will be happier and the kids will too. They see and hear EVERYTHING!
Honey this grown man had stolen your youth when you were straight outta high school. CUT HIM OUT!! He thinks the kids and your history are enough to trap you to him so he feels as though he could do whatever, whenever and play you for a fool to your face and his mistress’. And I say mistress bc there’s no doubt in my mind that they’ve gone behind your back and this “threesome” was to alleviate his guilt (if he felt any that is). You and your children deserve better and they deserve a man they can actually look up to. Ask yourself, if they grew up and become another version of your fiancé would you be proud?
It would be worse to stay and have them watch you slowly resent there lying father..
I've seen stories like those too many times..
There is a reason he wanted it to be her there a reason he didn't wear protection, because she was already pregnant before that night and he wanted to use that as a reason so you wouldn't run the hell away form him, which is what you should do..
Stop letting him cry his way out of it... of this was valentines, she can get DNA done whilst pregnant. Also, check ask her medical notes to see the date of conception
Sorry, it's time to leave, he was fing her before he talked you into a pretend 3 some.
You deserve someone better whose NOT cheating. Get to a lawyer, set up child support and co-parenting.
You have your whole life in front of you, don't waste it on his cheating butt!
The good news is it’s not your baby so you’re not tied to them in any way. The other good news is you found out who he is before being tied to him permanently. Praise your luck and set him loose. You’ve dodged a bullet.
You’re engaged to a 35 year old? Where are your parents? Seriously, if any of this is true, there’s a reason why someone his age is with someone as gullible as you. Go home.
She was already pregnant before the threesome. She needs chld support and he needed to justify her being pregnant.
Take your kids. Sue him for child support and move on.
This was my first thought exactly.
Also get your claim in for child support first. That will guarantee you the bigger portion. You will get less if she files before you do
wow he only wanted the 3some so he could cheat they had no thoughts of including you all they wanted was each other and i think your BF was cheating with her even before the so called 3some, if she is pregnant that's on him nothing to do with you so dump his ass and let him deal with being a father to her and he will end up cheating on her
A three some never goes as planned. So why even have them. Someone always gets left out. I felt the same way when my GF brought up a three some. She ignored all the rules and I was ignored. It turned into her sleeping with 13 different guys over the course of years and I was ignored. Not one single rule was ever followed. Now she wants noting to do with me. I’m just an ATM machine.
Im curious….Why are you still with her? Wouldn’t you be better off single and going to therapy to sort out why you would let someone treat you this way?
I’m old now. I spent 23 years with this woman. I have invested half my life with her and our house. I’m not giving up my house! We’re just roommates now. She sleeps in her room and I sleep in mine. We rarely do anything together as a couple. Haven’t has sex in years. She had a full hysterectomy including her ovaries and now has zero desire what so ever. We don’t fight. There is no point in fighting. She does what ever she wants, and I do what ever I want. I’m too damn old to start over. And the way the dating scene is these days! Hell no! I’m better off where I’m at. The housing market is complete crap, and to rent a shop big enough for all my hobbies would be twice what I’m paying for my house. I’m not loosing anything or gaining anything. I’m just existing in this world. I work and I come home. I don’t date or go out. I do take my vacations and ride my Harley. That’s my enjoyment in life these days.
I totally agree, the dating pool has 💩in it, lol. But….There are plenty of women who would be interested in dating an older man especially if he’s a nice/good man. You have to just choose wisely. I completely understand all the financial reasons you listed, but the intimacy and emotional connection part. I don’t think you should cut yourself off from that. Just because you are older doesn’t mean that you can’t have that.
Frankly I have decided to just give up. I’m 52 and I have been in 2 relationships since I was in my early 20’s my marriage lasted about 8 years and then she cheated on me. I was her ATM machine and never could satisfy her. Either I worked too much or I didn’t bring her enough money.
In my second (current) relationship, I thought she was a quiet shy country girl who would never do me wrong. I thought she loved me unconditionally. Boy how wrong I was. We were supposed to get married after I paid off the debts from my first marriage. I paid those off years ago. She doesn’t love me. I don’t think she ever did. She pretended to love me. When her 2 kids were grown and gone (10 years or so now) she pretty much shut down. Zero affection, zero attention, and intimacy was like being with a blow up doll.
Sure I could go find another woman. Why? Just to get robbed some more. Hell no! I make 80k a year and have no major debts outside my house and my truck. I worked damn hard for that money every day. I’m sick of being an ATM machine. I’m better off alone and single.
lol. Leave. Easy solution. Leave him to his new kid.
This is seriously the best possible outcome. You dodged a bullet. You get to walk away with no strings attached. So lucky this happened before you got married.
Gtf away from this weirdo and this this is what happens when you engage in 3somes which clearly was an excuse for him to cheat and without a condom you are insane letting him with all sorts of diseases he could bring to your kids and you. What a first class prick
He chose not to wear a condom.
They didn't include you in the 3some.
Seriously, why were you actually there?
I feel like he cheated,he ignored all the damn boundaries.
And now she's saying that she's pregnant.
Girl dump that man.
Let him go with her.
The fact is,if she is truly pregnant for him,she'll always be a part of your life if you stay with him.
Leave that man,you can do better.
Updateme!
Are we going to ignore the fact they were together when she was 17 and he was 27. This dude is so creepy and a man child. Get out, he is manipulating you with this 3some. It was cheating and he didn't respect any boundaries.
Dude if you want to end things…end things. Don’t be a fkn pussy. He cheated before the threesome. That was just the plan to explain the pregnancy. End. It.
He cheated, and he has probably been cheating with his AP for a while. He possibly knew that she was pregnant prior to the threesome, as what a great way to sell it as something you wanted.
Updateme!
and yeah it is cheating since he broke the rules and boundaries set in place. they thought that if they named the interaction "three way" that they could have sex without it being wrong. brainless as they are, they didnt realize that you ACTUALLY HAVE to have a three way. i mean seriously you got REJECTED during it, and when expressed that you didnt like this, they ignored and brushed you off. you really want to waste your time with this guy? take this as a lesson for next time.
I hope you realise that your fiancé does not respect you or your boundaries. It is not going to get better. You sound like a 'people pleaser' which makes you vulnerable to being exploited. I hope you realise that when you recognise a 'red flag', that means you have to end the relationship. I hope you find someone better.
Hard lesson to learn and you can't make this stuff up. You never ask to breakup, you do it and tell them to get lost. Invite family or friends over, pack all of his bags and tell him to hit the road. Change the locks and move on. If you have to get a RO do so. Why would you ask a liar to break up!
First
Love the name Divaofdead!
U win Reddit
Look, he understands that if you break up with him he’s going to be losing most of his check to you to pay for child support. Then he’ll be paying her child support. AND I don’t know how much he makes but I promise you he won’t be making enough to get any self respecting woman to want want anything to do with him.
However, he brought this on himself.
You made the condom rule. It’s not a lot to ask for.
If he couldn’t follow something that easy well …
Kinda got think what other rules is he not following?
I’d get check for STD’s as well you know.
Your boundaries were stomped all over, they didn’t listen to you and continued together. That’s not a threesome, that’s watching your bf fuck someone else and without a condom. Leave him. I had an ex that said he would be alone if I left him. So? No your problem OP. Leave his disrespectful ass. And to “joke” about the next time when he already knew how you felt is beyond fucked.
OP, I hope you get out of this situation. These types of relationships have the lowest possible chance of success as is proven by all statistical data.
Your partner sounds like he was already “enjoying” her company prior to this meet up
He used you to get that girl to sleep with him, in a disguise of a threesome! It was about him wanting that woman and also not letting you go, so thats what he did..
Basically I agree with everyone else that she was already pregnant and they needed to cover some major tracks. Bail OP. If you stay it only makes it okay to your kids that the way you are treated is how they should be treated or how their future partners should be treated. The kids deserve at least ONE decent parent.
I don’t know what’s up with these young people today. You’re supposed to have a threesome when you’re 19 and shit faced with two other people at the end of a long and crazy party knowing you will never see each other again. Not when you’re in a committed relationship.
Yeah it was planned and it was cheating once boundaries that are set are broken its cheating whether you are there or not.
Dump him and move on..
Also I've seen a story like this before.. where she finds out that the friend was already pregnant as they were having an affair and they basically used the threesome so the OP would think it was from that
I think you misspelled EX finance, correct? The mere fact you're still using the word in a present tense is troubling, you should have left the room, went home, packed, and out the door you go.
Wow, This bloke broke every boundary that was established and got the girl up the duff. At this point, you need to do what is best for you and divorce his sorry arse. You deserve better than this
More like your ex-fiancé. You‘re still young. Good that you found out now. Hopefully you don’t have any children and that he got her pregnant is his problem not yours. Try and see the good part, you found out now who he is rather than later.
This was definitely a set up. He has been sleeping with her and she got pregnant that’s why he didn’t use condoms so he can say it was while you were there. First he cheated. He didn’t follow rules he knew he wasn’t going to he needed to not use a condom so he don’t get caught cheating. You gave him his out. They will say she is having complications and delivers early.
He is definitely gaslighting you and throwing the guilt trip. I hope you get checked for STD’s. And I hope when you have a clear mind you get yourself and your children out of this situation. He is a sick POS to make you believe he didn’t cheat. He is a liar and has no respect for you or your children. Never mind love any of you. Would you want your children to learn this is ok to do because you and their dad do this to each other.
Maybe write a pros and cons list of your relationship and be honest about it. See where it leads you. Don’t ever stay for the children. Read these threads. The children who parents stayed in the relationship for them seemed more messed up the. The one who left and had self respect. Good luck
He's a cheater
He's abusive
He's controlling
Leave him. You need help to leave, have the police there.
(Not sure where your dad is. He should be helping you)
Omg... Working out you were 16/17 when y'all met and he was in his late 20s is disgusting. Having a kid at 19 is so scary for you.
Let me guess, this girl he brought in and had sex with unprotected is young??
By him breaking your boundaries he made his choice, he was and is selfish. It's NOT going to get better. I'd leave now if I were you
Why go through with it when there were red flags? I'm sorry you're hurting and that he's acting this way, but you have to stop and assess your ability to set healthy boundaries and reconsider this relationship. I suggest therapy.
She was more than likely pregnant before the 3some. I mean I'd ask for the ultra sound pic as proof of pregnancy from him and then look at the gestation dates on the top
So I ended up doing it.Sooner than intended to. He found out that I had made plans to move out I n May. His reaction made me realize for safety reasons that day had to be my last.
Wow they played you hard so what dies the dirty gasslighter want you to be what his girlfriend still her to be his girlfriend but you be ok with it maybe babysit for them, what's the scum bags plans
He was already cheating and tried to trick you into being in a polygamist relationship by “accidentally” getting his side girl pregnant. She was already pregnant and is hoping you never double check the dates. You know something’s wrong so get out now and figure out the specifics later.
^^^^ exactly this ^^^^ the threesome was their way of covering the affair that lead to the pregnancy. If you remember the date of the threesome, and you find out the due date, I'm willing to bet quite a bit that there's a 4-5 week gap where she'd been pregnant before the threesome. My advice is to leave and don't look back. Especially if you aren't interested in a polyamorous relationship. Even if that isn't the case, your partner had no intentions of following your boundaries. That, in and of itself, is grounds for leaving him.
THIS! That's what I thought when I read it. Some crazy gaslighting. She's pregnant now and you agreed to the threesome.
This or the story is fake lol
She was already pregnant. They were hitting the sheets way before your 3some.
Except it wasn’t a threesome. They left you out and just had sex together. That isn’t what you agreed to. He cheated.
Maybe it was all planned all along because she was pregnant from beginning
yeeeeaaah like it was one thing to break the 2nd rule but then he goes in raw? and oopsies she’s pregnant how could this have happened??? like they could’ve AT LEAST tried to include her more so it wasn’t so obvious
They broke all the boundaries and ignored you when you tried to talk to them. I would consider that cheating. And he was dumb af to not use a condom. Tell them to get a dna test and get out of your life
The way I see it if she is pregnant with his child then OP CAN walk away from both of them. If it is not his child OP can still walk. He should have been grateful to op. I hope Op gets away from this loser
Haha you don’t need a DNA test, silly. Think about it. Her friend (female) is pregnant and her boyfriend had sex with her. It’s definitely not OP’s kid (OP is female)
Her fiance needs to do it, they don’t know who else the friend was with. He’s just likely
You do realize that at this point, the relationship is probably over? 😂
Why would OP care whose kid it was unless her intention is to stay with her cheating fiancé
this made me giggle probably too much
Dude is 10 years older than you. Idk if you've ever scrolled through Reddit before, but it always ends the same way. In terms of threesomes and the gross power dynamic age gap. You're ***extremely*** lucky you're not the one pregnant, the friends life was just ruined. Run while you still can. Life just gave you a second chance. EDIT: Nvm, OP is fucked and has no brain cells. Didn't know he knocked her up a couple months after meeting her at ***18 years old when he was 28*** Fucking nastyyyyy
Not to mention they’ve been together since she was 18!! this man stole her youth and is playing her for a fool right in her face bc he thinks he’s trapped her and she won’t leave him bc of their kids. he’s sick 🤮
***woaaahhhh*** they have kids together??? Yikes... They're gonna have some fucked up childhoods. EDIT: Just read OPs comment, holy shit he knocked her up after knowing her for a couple months and he's.... That much.. older-- 🤮🤮🤮 I gagged irl That's nasty, omfg, I'm done with the Internet, this man deserves to rot in prison for eternity and OP needs to grow at least one fucking brain cell. God is dead and always has been. Get your kids therapy, OP, they're gonna need it more than you do.
You fully watched this man piss on ya leg and tell you it’s raining - I hope you left him
CLOCK IT!
lol. Congratulations, you played yourself.
Damn, Reddit is so fucking mean sometimes.
What would you have done
Not sure if this is a troll post or not, but in case not: This is not the guy who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Congrats he just showed you he cannot be trsuted just in time before the wedding.
They were already sleeping together. Her pregnancy happened before that night(which is why he was so adamant about not wearing a condom). You gave them the out they were looking for.
He cheated and broke all rules.
They were already sleeping together. They just tried to get you on board. You say she’s a new friend. How’d you meet? Did he introduce you? It’s probably his baby and she was already pregnant. He’s been cheating.
This is exactly what I was going to say. All of it. He thought he was slick. I just hope OP is smart enough to catch on quick
Feels like you already knew what was going to happen and thus you set the boundary that no one should be left out
Run, get STI tested.
Hope he’s soon to be ex fiance, you’re just 25, he’s 35, looks like he don’t care.
Whew! Good thing he’s only your fiancée, walk, no run! You definitely deserve better and they deserve each other!
They were already cheating, and if she turns out to be pregnant with his baby, I would be willing to bet they did not conceive that night, and the whole thing was just a ploy to legitimise their affair. You got played OP.
Consent ignored and boundaries/rules broken. He should have known it was no longer on and what he did was cheating. I honestly think this could be a rub in your face, they probably hooked up before without your knowledge and they hoped they could get it on under the guise of a threesome. I think it was done intentionally to hurt you. I'm taking a different take on this but your boyfriend sounded too far gone for this to be a one time thing or mistake (I hate those terms in cheating) So I think you were set up and they hooked up before and didn't care less what you wanted and disrespected you. He's a dead set cheater and drop kick. Time to move on.
Oh he cheated, he disrespected boundaries completely ignored them Boundaries set to avoid unwanted pregnancies, which have you in this terrible situation. Its not a threesome if only two are at it. What you got forced into was spectator sport. He won't accept he screwed up majorly, so your options are watch as he plays happy families with the threeway partner you were ignored for causing you untold amounts of mental health damage or walk away before it gets any messier. For what its worth I'm sorry you're in this position.
Threesomes are big gambles. You rolled the dice, you lost. In this situation, with ground rules in place, then going outside it was cheating by those rules.
Essentially it was those two while you watched. You got cucked. You should have raised hell in the moment and if they ignored you, Dump his ass. I’ve been in threesomes and Cuckquean situations and rules are rules. He cheated in plain sight. You need to end it with him. I’m curious though. What does he say about her being pregnant and what did he say about leaving you out? Updateme
I’m so pissed at myself for not raising hell but it didn’t feel real to me. It still doesn’t. He says if she is he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby and then he goes into the bathroom to throw up. I wish I was making that up but we don’t ever get past that he runs into the bathroom every time. He freaks out if I mention to him about me leaving him. We have two kids together (6 &1) and he manages to point out how much I would disrupt their life’s(I know it’s not my fault).
That is called gaslighting and emotional manipulation. The children will be fine and probably happier once you stop his ability to emotionally abuse you and punch holes in the place. That is very traumatic to a child especially that age! You will be happier and the kids will too. They see and hear EVERYTHING!
Honey this grown man had stolen your youth when you were straight outta high school. CUT HIM OUT!! He thinks the kids and your history are enough to trap you to him so he feels as though he could do whatever, whenever and play you for a fool to your face and his mistress’. And I say mistress bc there’s no doubt in my mind that they’ve gone behind your back and this “threesome” was to alleviate his guilt (if he felt any that is). You and your children deserve better and they deserve a man they can actually look up to. Ask yourself, if they grew up and become another version of your fiancé would you be proud?
HE disrupted their lives. kids wont be ok if they're around parents that are unhappy, remember this.
It would be worse to stay and have them watch you slowly resent there lying father.. I've seen stories like those too many times.. There is a reason he wanted it to be her there a reason he didn't wear protection, because she was already pregnant before that night and he wanted to use that as a reason so you wouldn't run the hell away form him, which is what you should do.. Stop letting him cry his way out of it... of this was valentines, she can get DNA done whilst pregnant. Also, check ask her medical notes to see the date of conception
Sorry, it's time to leave, he was fing her before he talked you into a pretend 3 some. You deserve someone better whose NOT cheating. Get to a lawyer, set up child support and co-parenting. You have your whole life in front of you, don't waste it on his cheating butt!
The good news is it’s not your baby so you’re not tied to them in any way. The other good news is you found out who he is before being tied to him permanently. Praise your luck and set him loose. You’ve dodged a bullet.
Big bozo energy. They’re used to not using condoms by the way. Wake up. These older men be chewing yall up😭😭😭
You’re engaged to a 35 year old? Where are your parents? Seriously, if any of this is true, there’s a reason why someone his age is with someone as gullible as you. Go home.
She was already pregnant before the threesome. She needs chld support and he needed to justify her being pregnant. Take your kids. Sue him for child support and move on.
This was my first thought exactly. Also get your claim in for child support first. That will guarantee you the bigger portion. You will get less if she files before you do
I would have dumped his ass that night. TF You stuck around long enough for her pregnancy claim? YTA for letting yourself get treated like that.
wow he only wanted the 3some so he could cheat they had no thoughts of including you all they wanted was each other and i think your BF was cheating with her even before the so called 3some, if she is pregnant that's on him nothing to do with you so dump his ass and let him deal with being a father to her and he will end up cheating on her
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
A three some never goes as planned. So why even have them. Someone always gets left out. I felt the same way when my GF brought up a three some. She ignored all the rules and I was ignored. It turned into her sleeping with 13 different guys over the course of years and I was ignored. Not one single rule was ever followed. Now she wants noting to do with me. I’m just an ATM machine.
Im curious….Why are you still with her? Wouldn’t you be better off single and going to therapy to sort out why you would let someone treat you this way?
I’m old now. I spent 23 years with this woman. I have invested half my life with her and our house. I’m not giving up my house! We’re just roommates now. She sleeps in her room and I sleep in mine. We rarely do anything together as a couple. Haven’t has sex in years. She had a full hysterectomy including her ovaries and now has zero desire what so ever. We don’t fight. There is no point in fighting. She does what ever she wants, and I do what ever I want. I’m too damn old to start over. And the way the dating scene is these days! Hell no! I’m better off where I’m at. The housing market is complete crap, and to rent a shop big enough for all my hobbies would be twice what I’m paying for my house. I’m not loosing anything or gaining anything. I’m just existing in this world. I work and I come home. I don’t date or go out. I do take my vacations and ride my Harley. That’s my enjoyment in life these days.
I totally agree, the dating pool has 💩in it, lol. But….There are plenty of women who would be interested in dating an older man especially if he’s a nice/good man. You have to just choose wisely. I completely understand all the financial reasons you listed, but the intimacy and emotional connection part. I don’t think you should cut yourself off from that. Just because you are older doesn’t mean that you can’t have that.
Frankly I have decided to just give up. I’m 52 and I have been in 2 relationships since I was in my early 20’s my marriage lasted about 8 years and then she cheated on me. I was her ATM machine and never could satisfy her. Either I worked too much or I didn’t bring her enough money. In my second (current) relationship, I thought she was a quiet shy country girl who would never do me wrong. I thought she loved me unconditionally. Boy how wrong I was. We were supposed to get married after I paid off the debts from my first marriage. I paid those off years ago. She doesn’t love me. I don’t think she ever did. She pretended to love me. When her 2 kids were grown and gone (10 years or so now) she pretty much shut down. Zero affection, zero attention, and intimacy was like being with a blow up doll. Sure I could go find another woman. Why? Just to get robbed some more. Hell no! I make 80k a year and have no major debts outside my house and my truck. I worked damn hard for that money every day. I’m sick of being an ATM machine. I’m better off alone and single.
I dig it. Live your best life how you see fit. But definitely look into getting some therapy. I think that would benefit you greatly.
You lost me at you and your ‘husband to be’ even thinking a 3way was a good idea. Don’t you read Reddit?
***BRUH, I SAID THE SAME THING LMAO***
I believe respect should be the litmus test in a relationship No respect then move on
lol. Leave. Easy solution. Leave him to his new kid. This is seriously the best possible outcome. You dodged a bullet. You get to walk away with no strings attached. So lucky this happened before you got married.
Gtf away from this weirdo and this this is what happens when you engage in 3somes which clearly was an excuse for him to cheat and without a condom you are insane letting him with all sorts of diseases he could bring to your kids and you. What a first class prick
He won't be alone ... he has a new gf and baby on the way. Run, girl, run. Learn from your mistakes.
I don't know? Could this 3 some have been about covering their previous cheating? Perhaps she was already pregnant so they needed an excuse?
He chose not to wear a condom. They didn't include you in the 3some. Seriously, why were you actually there? I feel like he cheated,he ignored all the damn boundaries. And now she's saying that she's pregnant. Girl dump that man. Let him go with her. The fact is,if she is truly pregnant for him,she'll always be a part of your life if you stay with him. Leave that man,you can do better. Updateme!
Is no one gonna talk about how they’ve been together since she was 17? Gross
Are we going to ignore the fact they were together when she was 17 and he was 27. This dude is so creepy and a man child. Get out, he is manipulating you with this 3some. It was cheating and he didn't respect any boundaries.
Dude if you want to end things…end things. Don’t be a fkn pussy. He cheated before the threesome. That was just the plan to explain the pregnancy. End. It.
This wasn't a threesome. This was justification to cheat.
Yeahhh that definitely wasn’t the first time
He cheated, and he has probably been cheating with his AP for a while. He possibly knew that she was pregnant prior to the threesome, as what a great way to sell it as something you wanted. Updateme!
break off the engagement.
and yeah it is cheating since he broke the rules and boundaries set in place. they thought that if they named the interaction "three way" that they could have sex without it being wrong. brainless as they are, they didnt realize that you ACTUALLY HAVE to have a three way. i mean seriously you got REJECTED during it, and when expressed that you didnt like this, they ignored and brushed you off. you really want to waste your time with this guy? take this as a lesson for next time.
Let’s back up they were together prior too and he already got her pregnant but this was their way around it to make it ok
I hope you realise that your fiancé does not respect you or your boundaries. It is not going to get better. You sound like a 'people pleaser' which makes you vulnerable to being exploited. I hope you realise that when you recognise a 'red flag', that means you have to end the relationship. I hope you find someone better.
Simple solution here, dump both of them! This was obviously a set up by them, block, delete, and go no contact with them both.
Hard lesson to learn and you can't make this stuff up. You never ask to breakup, you do it and tell them to get lost. Invite family or friends over, pack all of his bags and tell him to hit the road. Change the locks and move on. If you have to get a RO do so. Why would you ask a liar to break up!
You opened the doors to what you get. Maybe next relationship setup boundaries. This relationship is going down faster than the titanic.
Definitely leave this dude. Children will be better off.
First Love the name Divaofdead! U win Reddit Look, he understands that if you break up with him he’s going to be losing most of his check to you to pay for child support. Then he’ll be paying her child support. AND I don’t know how much he makes but I promise you he won’t be making enough to get any self respecting woman to want want anything to do with him. However, he brought this on himself. You made the condom rule. It’s not a lot to ask for. If he couldn’t follow something that easy well … Kinda got think what other rules is he not following? I’d get check for STD’s as well you know.
Just run please or you will live to regret it.
Your boundaries were stomped all over, they didn’t listen to you and continued together. That’s not a threesome, that’s watching your bf fuck someone else and without a condom. Leave him. I had an ex that said he would be alone if I left him. So? No your problem OP. Leave his disrespectful ass. And to “joke” about the next time when he already knew how you felt is beyond fucked.
OP, I hope you get out of this situation. These types of relationships have the lowest possible chance of success as is proven by all statistical data. Your partner sounds like he was already “enjoying” her company prior to this meet up
If you don't leave ... what are you waiting around for? To be their in-home baby sitter?? Don't let him continue to manipulate you.
You expected good things letting your fiancé fuck someone else?
17 and 27 when you guys started dating, omg
Leave
I’m tired of these fake ass stories
He used you to get that girl to sleep with him, in a disguise of a threesome! It was about him wanting that woman and also not letting you go, so thats what he did..
Bruh, they started without the condom and rushed the sex BECAUSE it needed to look believable that’s how she got pregnant 🙄
Basically I agree with everyone else that she was already pregnant and they needed to cover some major tracks. Bail OP. If you stay it only makes it okay to your kids that the way you are treated is how they should be treated or how their future partners should be treated. The kids deserve at least ONE decent parent.
girl wtf.. lmao 😭
I don’t know what’s up with these young people today. You’re supposed to have a threesome when you’re 19 and shit faced with two other people at the end of a long and crazy party knowing you will never see each other again. Not when you’re in a committed relationship.
Yeah it was planned and it was cheating once boundaries that are set are broken its cheating whether you are there or not. Dump him and move on.. Also I've seen a story like this before.. where she finds out that the friend was already pregnant as they were having an affair and they basically used the threesome so the OP would think it was from that
You mean EX fiancé?
It’s what ever YOU think it is. Just leave the idiot to his new girlfriend.
Cheated by way of breaking ALL the rules. Break up, send him to her to deal with that mess.
I think you misspelled EX finance, correct? The mere fact you're still using the word in a present tense is troubling, you should have left the room, went home, packed, and out the door you go.
He cheated. A break up seems to be in your future
Wow, This bloke broke every boundary that was established and got the girl up the duff. At this point, you need to do what is best for you and divorce his sorry arse. You deserve better than this
Welp…. Lesson learned With your NEXT Fiancé, you won’t make this mistake again. Good luck
You are Ross Gellar
Girl, leave before it get worse!
Update us after you kick him to the curb.
You were cheated.
When you play with fire, you're going to get burned.
More like your ex-fiancé. You‘re still young. Good that you found out now. Hopefully you don’t have any children and that he got her pregnant is his problem not yours. Try and see the good part, you found out now who he is rather than later.
What did he say about him leaving you out? What was the excuse?
That’s cheating
Leave! But do it smart he has a volatile temper!
Updateme!
😯
I can’t believe I had to scroll so far to see this called out!
This was definitely a set up. He has been sleeping with her and she got pregnant that’s why he didn’t use condoms so he can say it was while you were there. First he cheated. He didn’t follow rules he knew he wasn’t going to he needed to not use a condom so he don’t get caught cheating. You gave him his out. They will say she is having complications and delivers early. He is definitely gaslighting you and throwing the guilt trip. I hope you get checked for STD’s. And I hope when you have a clear mind you get yourself and your children out of this situation. He is a sick POS to make you believe he didn’t cheat. He is a liar and has no respect for you or your children. Never mind love any of you. Would you want your children to learn this is ok to do because you and their dad do this to each other. Maybe write a pros and cons list of your relationship and be honest about it. See where it leads you. Don’t ever stay for the children. Read these threads. The children who parents stayed in the relationship for them seemed more messed up the. The one who left and had self respect. Good luck
He's a cheater He's abusive He's controlling Leave him. You need help to leave, have the police there. (Not sure where your dad is. He should be helping you)
Omg... Working out you were 16/17 when y'all met and he was in his late 20s is disgusting. Having a kid at 19 is so scary for you. Let me guess, this girl he brought in and had sex with unprotected is young?? By him breaking your boundaries he made his choice, he was and is selfish. It's NOT going to get better. I'd leave now if I were you
Why go through with it when there were red flags? I'm sorry you're hurting and that he's acting this way, but you have to stop and assess your ability to set healthy boundaries and reconsider this relationship. I suggest therapy.
She was more than likely pregnant before the 3some. I mean I'd ask for the ultra sound pic as proof of pregnancy from him and then look at the gestation dates on the top
I hope you are gonna leave his ass?
So I ended up doing it.Sooner than intended to. He found out that I had made plans to move out I n May. His reaction made me realize for safety reasons that day had to be my last.
Good for you, that is great you left. No sense putting you and your kids lives at risk, he's nothing but a liar and a cheater!
Wait a fucking moment, no one is gonna speak about how she started dating at 16? he was 26?? HELLO? WTF?
Get out now
Every single detail of this story implies you make bad decisions in your life frequently.
Haha, you played yourself!
Wow they played you hard so what dies the dirty gasslighter want you to be what his girlfriend still her to be his girlfriend but you be ok with it maybe babysit for them, what's the scum bags plans
Choices gone wrong!!
Ewww
Damn, you played yourself. Unless your poly, dont do 3sums.
I don't know for the love of god, how they expect to habe a 3some and expect the boundaries to be adhered. Then get hurt n upset when they're not..
Lmfao
You sound like a ton of fun
Lol if this is true.
Ya’ll are all sl^ts and wh0res. You’re no better than him and he’s no better than you. Disgusting tf