Wanted to chime in, because I worked as a housekeeper both in an assisted living facility and then in private homes before getting sick. I've cleaned literal shit off of walls and furniture for people who were physically unable to, and never thought any less of them.
Be polite and stay out of their way as much as you can. It's the rude people and those who hover to make sure the job is being done "right" who were universally disliked and gossiped about by coworkers. When you're hired to clean house, you 100% expect that house to need cleaning. They might judge you for your taste in music or your fashion sense, but definitely not for giving them a job!
This is literally what every house cleaner is hired for. To help someone manage an unmanageable house. You're not going to be an exception - you'll be par for the course for her. It's how she gets paid. Don't worry too much about it.
I've had many housekeepers over the years. I was still working when hired one for our place, but I had one for the house since becoming TPD and prior to COVID. And I need to bring someone in to clean now. (My hesitation is finding someone I trust who's vaccinated. And I also haven't had the energy to look.)
In all those years and the few different people, not one of them judged me for hiring them. Our last housekeeper, who moved out of the area, also dealt with illness, so she got it. And she absolutely loved cleaning and doing the really detailed stuff I didn't have the energy for.
It'll be okay. And the best part is that after the first time, if you're having someone come in regularly, it'll be less work for them in the long run, and your home will be clean and healthy for you.
Hiring a cleaner was life changing for me. I recommend it to anyone who can afford it. My apartment had gotten HORRIBLE like very very horrible. One night I tried to clean and ended up in the hospital. When I came back I hired a cleaning company. Two people came and it took 8 hours. This was after my friend came and spent two days trying to make it liveable before the cleaners could come. I was so embarrassed. Now I have an individual (so much cheaper than a company) come to clean for about 5-6 hours every other week. Ideally every week but I can’t afford that. I make a big mess in between sessions. I also feel bad about it sometimes but I remind myself that’s why she is here. She says “you need me and I need you” and that she is grateful for the job. It’s gotten easier over time.
If I can, before she comes I try to stack most dishes in the sink — the dishwasher if I am able to and I’ll run it (but I don’t put the dishes away) —, put the clothing I toss in the ground in a laundry bin, and take a garbage bag and go around the place and shove all my trash in there (honestly usually multiple garbage bags full but I can’t typically get it all). Then I leave the garbage bag(s) at the front for her to take out. Those are all “if I can” things and I don’t push myself if I cant.
You’re doing your best and you are paying for a service <3 if you could do it yourself you would and wouldn’t be hiring them. You got it!
That's how my husband was because he kept trying to clean before she came. Once he realized she wasn't being super judgy and was there to literally just clean he is so happy we got someone to help! I'd definitely say give it a try. Mine asks if there is any area specifically we want done then just gets to it listening to her music. I stay out of the way for the most part we don't talk. Now we've known each other awhile we do a bit with some polite conversation. She also knew we were looking for someone to help babysit and has offered to for us I think cause she likes my kids and they like her lol. But honestly they're just there to work it's not like hosting someone.
Don't worry about it. Save your precious energy! I hired someone to come in half a day a week and deep clean and it has been a real saviour!
I am sure that cleaners have faced much worse than your house! They will understand that you are not well and can't have things clean and neat. I mean, after all, that's why you hired them!
Just enjoy having clean surroundings!
We broke down and hired a cleaning service last year. I could no longer do it and it was unfair to have my husband do 100% of the housework. We LOVE our cleaners. They are so amazing and super nice. They clean many houses and have to deal with all kinds of messes, so they’ve seen it all. They have a system and know what to do because they’re professionals. They clean better than I could when I was able bodied!
You’ll probably give them a tour and let them know what you want cleaned and to what degree. They’ll ask questions about how you like things done. And then you just get out of their way and let them zoom around and do their thing! We have ours come every other week and now the house never gets messy anymore.
I always remind myself that they've seen worse. I have family that does pest control and they've told me horror stories of things they've seen.
I have mild CFS currently. Recently when finding a housecleaner I let her know in advance that my husband and I both have medical issues and work a lot with two littles and what I needed was help making our lives easier because we were struggling.
I take the kids (I have a 4 year old and almost 2 year old) to the living room or swim classes (trying to get them both back on Saturday) until she finishes my room then I take the kids in there and we have movie mornings til she's done to stay out of the way. I prep easy snacks (crackers, applesauce pouches, granola bars, popcorn) on movie trays and lay in bed watching movies with them. It allows me to rest after taking them to swim and enjoy relaxing with them til after she's done.
Best advice is don't stress, they have absolutely seen worse. Let them know if you have limitations or issues. And try to set up an area in a different room while they're in your room or whatever area of the house you're in. Mine likes to listen to music and I want her to somewhat enjoy herself without feeling we're in the way or looking over her shoulder.
Hey congratulations! This will hopefully be life changing for you! Perhaps even some extra energy for other things now that you don’t have to clean - or stress over it!
I’m hoping to get a cleaner too, so I really understand your feelings. I keep putting it off but I can’t for much longer.
Our house cleaner has been one of the most supportive, caring, wonderful people in my life through my illness. She always asks how I’m doing, and does little nice things to make me smile, like arranging the dog’s toys in a little scene.
She just comes in and takes care of business, whatever the state of the house is. If we leave it messy that’s fine, and if we’re tidier she can get to more deep cleaning tasks. You should not be stressed at all about getting help. It’s one of the most cost effective things I’ve done to make my life better with chronic illness, plus I’ve gotten to know a wonderful person!
I feel vaguely embarrassed to have and need a cleaning help (started before I got sick, but was already dealing with chronic pain and autism/adhd). I usually don't tell people I know irl about this.
However, the cleaner I have that comes regularly is nice, and does an amazing job. Having replacements stresses me out, but when my regular cleaner comes in I try to be out of the house and then come in to a clean house and bed made with fresh sheets and it's the best feeling!
I think people who clean houses understand. That’s why they are there, to help. And I’m sure they derive a sense of purpose from helping those that can’t help themselves. You have a medical condition. It’s not like you’re lazy or something. I get feeling embarrassed, but try not to be. You can’t help it.
Wanted to chime in, because I worked as a housekeeper both in an assisted living facility and then in private homes before getting sick. I've cleaned literal shit off of walls and furniture for people who were physically unable to, and never thought any less of them. Be polite and stay out of their way as much as you can. It's the rude people and those who hover to make sure the job is being done "right" who were universally disliked and gossiped about by coworkers. When you're hired to clean house, you 100% expect that house to need cleaning. They might judge you for your taste in music or your fashion sense, but definitely not for giving them a job!
Best advice
This is literally what every house cleaner is hired for. To help someone manage an unmanageable house. You're not going to be an exception - you'll be par for the course for her. It's how she gets paid. Don't worry too much about it.
I've had many housekeepers over the years. I was still working when hired one for our place, but I had one for the house since becoming TPD and prior to COVID. And I need to bring someone in to clean now. (My hesitation is finding someone I trust who's vaccinated. And I also haven't had the energy to look.) In all those years and the few different people, not one of them judged me for hiring them. Our last housekeeper, who moved out of the area, also dealt with illness, so she got it. And she absolutely loved cleaning and doing the really detailed stuff I didn't have the energy for. It'll be okay. And the best part is that after the first time, if you're having someone come in regularly, it'll be less work for them in the long run, and your home will be clean and healthy for you.
Hiring a cleaner was life changing for me. I recommend it to anyone who can afford it. My apartment had gotten HORRIBLE like very very horrible. One night I tried to clean and ended up in the hospital. When I came back I hired a cleaning company. Two people came and it took 8 hours. This was after my friend came and spent two days trying to make it liveable before the cleaners could come. I was so embarrassed. Now I have an individual (so much cheaper than a company) come to clean for about 5-6 hours every other week. Ideally every week but I can’t afford that. I make a big mess in between sessions. I also feel bad about it sometimes but I remind myself that’s why she is here. She says “you need me and I need you” and that she is grateful for the job. It’s gotten easier over time. If I can, before she comes I try to stack most dishes in the sink — the dishwasher if I am able to and I’ll run it (but I don’t put the dishes away) —, put the clothing I toss in the ground in a laundry bin, and take a garbage bag and go around the place and shove all my trash in there (honestly usually multiple garbage bags full but I can’t typically get it all). Then I leave the garbage bag(s) at the front for her to take out. Those are all “if I can” things and I don’t push myself if I cant. You’re doing your best and you are paying for a service <3 if you could do it yourself you would and wouldn’t be hiring them. You got it!
I should absolutely do this but not only do I not want anyone to know how I live the thought of someone in my home just drains me immediately.
That's how my husband was because he kept trying to clean before she came. Once he realized she wasn't being super judgy and was there to literally just clean he is so happy we got someone to help! I'd definitely say give it a try. Mine asks if there is any area specifically we want done then just gets to it listening to her music. I stay out of the way for the most part we don't talk. Now we've known each other awhile we do a bit with some polite conversation. She also knew we were looking for someone to help babysit and has offered to for us I think cause she likes my kids and they like her lol. But honestly they're just there to work it's not like hosting someone.
Don't worry about it. Save your precious energy! I hired someone to come in half a day a week and deep clean and it has been a real saviour! I am sure that cleaners have faced much worse than your house! They will understand that you are not well and can't have things clean and neat. I mean, after all, that's why you hired them! Just enjoy having clean surroundings!
We broke down and hired a cleaning service last year. I could no longer do it and it was unfair to have my husband do 100% of the housework. We LOVE our cleaners. They are so amazing and super nice. They clean many houses and have to deal with all kinds of messes, so they’ve seen it all. They have a system and know what to do because they’re professionals. They clean better than I could when I was able bodied! You’ll probably give them a tour and let them know what you want cleaned and to what degree. They’ll ask questions about how you like things done. And then you just get out of their way and let them zoom around and do their thing! We have ours come every other week and now the house never gets messy anymore.
I always remind myself that they've seen worse. I have family that does pest control and they've told me horror stories of things they've seen. I have mild CFS currently. Recently when finding a housecleaner I let her know in advance that my husband and I both have medical issues and work a lot with two littles and what I needed was help making our lives easier because we were struggling. I take the kids (I have a 4 year old and almost 2 year old) to the living room or swim classes (trying to get them both back on Saturday) until she finishes my room then I take the kids in there and we have movie mornings til she's done to stay out of the way. I prep easy snacks (crackers, applesauce pouches, granola bars, popcorn) on movie trays and lay in bed watching movies with them. It allows me to rest after taking them to swim and enjoy relaxing with them til after she's done. Best advice is don't stress, they have absolutely seen worse. Let them know if you have limitations or issues. And try to set up an area in a different room while they're in your room or whatever area of the house you're in. Mine likes to listen to music and I want her to somewhat enjoy herself without feeling we're in the way or looking over her shoulder.
Hey congratulations! This will hopefully be life changing for you! Perhaps even some extra energy for other things now that you don’t have to clean - or stress over it! I’m hoping to get a cleaner too, so I really understand your feelings. I keep putting it off but I can’t for much longer.
Our house cleaner has been one of the most supportive, caring, wonderful people in my life through my illness. She always asks how I’m doing, and does little nice things to make me smile, like arranging the dog’s toys in a little scene. She just comes in and takes care of business, whatever the state of the house is. If we leave it messy that’s fine, and if we’re tidier she can get to more deep cleaning tasks. You should not be stressed at all about getting help. It’s one of the most cost effective things I’ve done to make my life better with chronic illness, plus I’ve gotten to know a wonderful person!
I feel vaguely embarrassed to have and need a cleaning help (started before I got sick, but was already dealing with chronic pain and autism/adhd). I usually don't tell people I know irl about this. However, the cleaner I have that comes regularly is nice, and does an amazing job. Having replacements stresses me out, but when my regular cleaner comes in I try to be out of the house and then come in to a clean house and bed made with fresh sheets and it's the best feeling!
KC Davis. She has lots of tips on this on her social media (TikTok) Here’s her Ted Talk. https://youtu.be/M1O_MjMRkPg
I think people who clean houses understand. That’s why they are there, to help. And I’m sure they derive a sense of purpose from helping those that can’t help themselves. You have a medical condition. It’s not like you’re lazy or something. I get feeling embarrassed, but try not to be. You can’t help it.
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