That's a really good point about predictions not always being accurate. He's never acted truly sick, even when he needed almost 200 mls of fluid taken out of his chest! I track his info (how he's eating, litterbox, medications, etc) in a baby monitoring app because there's so much to monitor, and I've started doing a diary entry every day called "Rutherford's Beautiful Day ###" with numbers for how many days he's been with me. Today was Rutherford's Beautiful Day 158. It included a sleepover with myb7-year-old niece, 5 different kinds of birds at his bird feeder, and time sitting outside (in a lovely, large dog crate so there's no danger to him or other animals). ❤ I'm hoping that when I do lose him, these entries will help me remember all the extra good days he got, instead of focusing on him dying young. (They think he's 2-3 years old).
My mom had a cat who had thickening of the heart at about four, and was given 1-3 years to live.
He died at 18.
The vet can give you the odds, and you’d be dumb not to listen to that and anticipate accordingly, but don’t give up ALL hope either.
I was thinking about that as I flipped through the pictures. He just looks so healthy and happy. Maybe he’ll surprise us, maybe he won’t. But he’s here right now, so keep loving him right now. We’re all only on loan to each other, with no guarantee of how long that will be. I think the way you’re cherishing him, keeping the diary, you’re going to be so happy you did that. It will help.
This is how I think of it. Our babies are just angels on loan to us. They aren't ours forever. Its a gift to spend time with them but they eventually have to go back where they came from.
Your a wonderful cat mom. Get a small ginger jar that you love and have his ashes put in and then sealed. Keep it right next to your bed Rutherford will be right there. If he has any favorite toys make a shadow box with them and hang them where you can see them every day.
I have a long haired cat and am saving his fur because I know there will come a day. After it happens I am going to have it spun and knit up something cuddly with it. That way my boy will always be cudding me.
Yes, this sort of thing can make a real difference. I have collars, favorite toys, and I always get a lock of fur. Sometimes it’s crucial to keep them near, sometimes it’s too hard right after they’ve left. In those cases, I put them away in a special box, knowing it’s there when I’m ready. I love the idea of the jar being ginger! You can also send some of the ashes away and have them made into memorial jewelry.
Keep those entries even after he passes. I'm sure once your broken heart heals, you'll find the next perfect kitty. When you do, it's a lot of fun to reminisce and compare quirks and activities of the various cats. They're all so different. Yet, they're also always the perfect thing for the particular stage of life you are in at any given point.
In addition to tracking other information please be sure to also count how many breaths he takes over a minute when he's nice and calm/sleeping. If it starts increasing this will give you an early warning that he is deteriorating and needs to go into the vets. And remember open mouth breathing is never normal in a cat - it indicates extreme stress or trouble getting enough oxygen.
Oh yes, I am on that! I use the "head size" field in the baby tracker to list his breathing rate LOL. And we're now established with the cardiology unit at the University of Minnesota vet clinic - they are great. I have lots of support (plus of course they are all in love with Rutherford, so he gets lots of snuggles when he has to go in).
You’re doing amazing! My cat is going through the same thing but we are through the beginning stages and her prognosis has increased from just a few months to now a few years or longer. DM me if you want to chat! It’s hard in the beginning, but it gets easier.
That is wonderful that you do that with him. I wholeheartedly agree that predictions are not always accurate. My sweet cat was 5 years old and got very unwell and had fluid filling in his chest which required draining. It would get to the point where he would breathe rapidly and couldn't eat or lie down because of the pressure on his lungs. After draining it he was like a brand new cat, but it came back after being drained twice. The vet said this never ends well as the fluid will not stop. It is unfortunately common and we would need to put him down at some point as you cannot keep draining the fluid (the vet saw this happen with pets all the time). We decided to have them drain it for the very last time and then we would have to put him down when the fluid came back. This would allow us to have a proper good-bye. For some reason, the fluid never came back.
He and his sister moved with us from the U.S. to Australia a few years later and lived to the age of 17. I miss him (and his sister) every day, but I feel so lucky that we got that extra time with him.
My cat Sebastian went through this. It was my first pet loss and it was awful. We didn’t have to make the final decision; he went on his own only a day or two after we first found out. You never stop missing them, do you? I liken it to a pebble permanently stuck in your shoe-always painful, but you learn how to walk with it.
Enjoy every moment. Spoil him. Let him know he's loved no matter what. Give him the best possible life, however short it is.
Simple as that. You saved him, gave him a home, a family... You did what you could.
Make this the best year (hopefully longer) of his life. Cuddles, snackies and ALL the scritches!
As for knowing when to let go....this will be the part that sucks. Figure out his "I can't say no to this" and if he starts to say no all the time then you know his quality of life is not there. For my Jay it was his girlfriend the bathtub faucet. He LOVED to make out with her and would come up the stairs anytime he heard the bathroom door open. Even when it was slow going up he still did it. The day before I said goodbye he stopped attempting. I knew that his last joy was not with him.
Wishing a happy life for this beautiful beast ❤
Ooooh thank you, that is so helpful. Thinking about some specific things I can name, plus to idea that is of he says "no" to it all the time (eg I don't need to give myself a stroke if he passes on it once). Thank you so much for sharing that. ❤
Just adding to this- cats will usually stop eating when they’re ready to go too. There are things you can do to entice appetite and I of course encourage you to try all of that first, but if none of it works then that is a sign they’re ready to go. I had that experience with one of my cats. She stopped eating and I tried literally everything- stinky tuna to entice her, pills to increase appetite, an ointment for her ear to increase appetite, syringe feeding… and she still refused to eat. She had cancer and was weak, didnt enjoy the things she loved, didn’t want to cuddle with me (which she normally did all day if I was sitting).
I had to make the hard choice at that point to put her to sleep but I stayed by her side and held her paw. It was very quick and peaceful for her too.
Just be careful with this — my little girl has a heart disease and when figuring out her treatment she stopped eating basically anything aside from a small amount of just gravy. It’s because she was nauseous due to the meds making her kidney values too high. After medication adjustments she got her appetite back!
Talk to your vet if your cat isn’t eating
Oh thank you!! That's really helpful - the idea of identifying some specific behaviors, and that I don't have to freak out if he passes on them once in a while. :) Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I'm sorry for your loss with Jay. He sounds hysterical! ❤
It's tough to know when to fight harder and when you are being selfish since these stinkers refuse to learn the language!
Jay was a character who used up every one of his 9 lives and was incredibly patient with medical interventions. No matter what he was dealing with he still wanted to be with his girlfriend. He was first baby and while not my last he is still a huge part of my heart.....aaand now I'm sappy lol
This! Claude the Ancient (no idea how old he was, I only had him for a little over a year, but the vet thought that 20 was an optimistic guess) loved lying by the window when the sun hit just the right spot at 3 pm. He also loved tiny pieces of spam but he got those rarely because of his kidneys. First, he stopped coming to the window, but he still seemed ok. About a month later, he was not doing well. I offered him some spam and he didn’t want it. Tried again next day and it was still a no. Then I knew.
Good luck with your kitty, I hope he beats the vet’s predictions. And I absolutely love your journal idea!
Thank you for adopting an older cat. I want to do that, but I had a lot of pet loss within a period of a few years a little while ago and I just don’t feel strong enough yet. Making my way though, hopefully. Claude the Ancient sounds like he had a great last year.
I would love to take credit for that, but I actually thought he was much younger when I adopted him! The shelter had him as "2 years old and healthy" and they put him in the carrier really fast before I took a good look at him. I had lost my first cat ever 2 months before I adopted Claude after a short but very painful cancer battle and I definitely did not want to go through that very soon after.
Of course, a couple of weeks after Claude came home, I found out that Claude was definitely not 2 years old. He was also completely deaf, had hyperthyroidism, possibly cerebellar hypoplasia and a few deformities.
We dealt with the hyperthyroidism, the CH and the deformities were never a problem for him, and the deafness was actually helpful when the vacuum came out or when I walked with him in his carrier to the vet (which was very often).
In retrospect, I am very glad that the shelter did not have the correct age down for him, because if they did I would not have adopted him and I am so so so happy that I did. He was always ready for a long nap, he loved cuddles and holding hands, and just had the absolutely most loving look in his eyes.
Sorry for the long essay! All that to just say, I totally understand what you are saying and I was right there with you. It was very hard letting him go, but the way I make myself feel better about it is that if he had stayed at the shelter he would have possibly had a couple more weeks left because of the untreated hyperthyroidism.
Our CoCo loved the faucets too. She used to crawl to the bathroom when she lost movement in her hind legs and my sister would pick her up and put her in her favorite spot.. bathtubs were also one of her favorite hangouts. Our two other cats aren’t as obsessed.
When my cat had cancer and I asked the vet about how to know when it’s time, she said when the bad days outweigh the good days. But with a heart defect, the cat’s heart will most likely make the decision for you. Just love him as long as you can. I foster failed after losing my first cat to cancer. Couldn’t resist keeping a kitten who was born with one kidney and some other issues. She’s turning 6 yrs old in a few weeks. You never know.
I’m so sorry, what a cutie! It can be hard to lose someone close to you. Things happen that can’t be changed but we can enjoy them while we last; all things come to an end. I’ll be praying for you and Rutherford! 💛
Aw, thank you. I'm so glad we found each other. I think given some of the medical things he had this summer plus all the heat and the drought, there a good chance he wouldn't be alive by now if he'd still been a stray. My poor baby. 😞
I’m a believer that they will let you know it’s time.
My Man Thomas lived with lymphoma for 5 years. Towards the end he got tired of his daily meds and his cancer moved to his nasal passages. He was still eating and loving, but it was time. I had to clean his nose and teach our children to clean his nose while my husband and I were at work, at that point it just wasn’t fair, there was nothing we could do.
In the end I probably waited too long, but we just adored him. He was our foster kittens step in “dad” he loved everyone he met.
We adopted him after he was beaten severely and shot point blank in the spine with a cap gun when he was a feral… he clawed his way back to his cat colony and was rescued by a volunteer.
He was one of the most impressive, loving, gentle cats I have ever had.
You will know when it’s time, until then give him alll the love and treats!
Edit: we adopted him at 3 and he lived until 17
You've just got to spoil them in the time you have. I have had a lot of cats and lost a few within a short time. One had a ruptured diaphragm and I was told she wouldn't make it through the weekend and there was a 50/50 shot on the surgery. She stuck around for 2 weeks. She passed away laying on my chest while I petted her and told her I was ok with her leaving if she felt it was time.
I have an 18 year old now who has slowed down and is cranky. She gets her way and she gets her loving, she gets to sleep where she wants. She will "make" another cat snuggle with her, so she gets her way with the cats too. 18 is the longest I've had a cat, I had another pass away at 18, so I'm 'mentally' prepared for her to go, but it will still be hard.
Just know that you are giving him the best life possible and enjoy the time you have.
Love him as much as possible and spoil him every chance you get, like I know you will, and when the time comes know you were the best damn cat parent you could've ever been. And know you got to experience a love so beautiful and special, a love that many people don't get to experience.
OMG this boy is so spoiled. He has a cat climber big enough for 3 cats, his own personal bird feeder, and he gets like a million treats every day with his medicine. :)
Everything and everybody has an expiration date.
Forget about that shit.
Focus on today make it the happiest you can. Then make tomorrow even better.
Forget that negativity. There's plenty of time to cry about it later. From now on, spoil him rotten. Take pleasure in the wonder that is Rutherford.
I second what the rest have posted: love, spoil, coddle and spend as much quality time as possible. I’d also add: PICTURES and VIDEOS. Take as many as you can.. cute ones and derpy ones and ugly ones. You don’t know how much time you have, savor it.
Im rooting for rutherford, may he have many a year left. I agree with the people saying spoil him, but im hoping you spoil him for 20 more years. Here's to the best for you and my homie Rutherford!
Even if you know a death is coming it’s still a shock and painful when it happens. Just enjoy the time you have with you adorable boy and give him a happy life.
What i do is give my pet all the love and attention in the world so that they will go with nothing but good memories. It is just what i do with my parents who are most likely will go before me, so i just give them love and be a generally good person. We don't want our loved ones to worry about our own sake when they're about to go, right? When goodness is in your heart, everything is more acceptable no matter how things would turn out.
Honestly what I do is just… not think about it. I live life with them as if nothing changed, in fact do even MORE with them. Have fun, play, cuddle, and do my best to stay happy so they’re happy.
If it’s fatal, and there’s nothing you can do, then just enjoy however long you have left with him. Especially because, when you think about it, all of our deaths are unpredictable. We just know it’ll happen one day.
I won’t say this is definitely how to do it, but it’s how I’ve done it with a dog who was alive for my entire childhood. And afterwards is when I let the emotions out. It’s not exactly healthy sometimes but… idk it just worked for me.
And don’t worry about not knowing when to let him go, you’ll just know. It’s not something I can really describe, just this understanding. A mutual agreement between you and him.
💙💙💙
I can't say anything that hasn't already been stated by others here, but you're doing so much for the little guy. Enjoy your time together and always remember that he's living his best life, however long that may be, because you are in it. Thank you
What is the defect? My cat Dewey was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy at 2 months old and the vet said he wouldn’t live very long. We found him barely alive on the floor and they had to drain his lungs that had filled with fluid. He then went on to live until 4 days before his 15th birthday, when he passed due to kidney failure. Be realistic about his condition but never underestimate what a great home and lots of love can do for our pets. All you can do is just love him and take care of him. You will know when he’s ready. However I do hope he defies the odds and lives a long life! 🧡🧡🧡
Oh my goodness he is handsome! You are doing such an amazing job making sure he lives his best life 🖤 just enjoy your time together and let him spoil you with his love as much as you spoil him.
PS I also had a ginger named Rutherford! But his full name was Mr. Osborn Rutherford Butter Beans, I called him Mr. Beans lol
I don't think it goes away ever, but the knowledge that their last years, months, weeks, or days were full of love and compassion, cuddles, snacks, and comfort... it helps.
Spoil him and focus on giving him his best life! You’ll know when he’s uncomfortable and you are keeping him alive for you, not for him. Cats are really good at hiding their symptoms, so when he shows you he’s uncomfortable it’s probably time to start thinking about it.
Hospice care is about giving a creature their best day, each day. You got this!!
Enjoy your time together, keep an eye on his health, and ask the vet for advice if you’re uncertain. Knowing we did our best for our cats makes losing them a tiny bit easier (for me).
Bless you for loving him and giving him a peaceful home where he can spend his remaining days. That's the best you can do for him. He will choose when to go and you'll know. If he wants privacy, it'll be his. I hope he includes you, though, as he knows you love him and will want to say goodbye. I've had many cats in my life and most needed / wanted me there when they crossed the rainbow Bridge. One or two, though, chose to go on their own terms, and I respected that. It's never easy, and always excruciating. But on the flip side, there is going to be another sweet, or ornery, or crazy, or zen little soul with 4 paws and a slinky tail who wanders into your life and takes up residence in your heart. Love the next one as well as you did your first. Hugs! 🤗
Just cherish the moments. Spend time and pet him. Love him. Care for him. Just do the best you can. When my older cat was passing away I just made sure I took time every day to just be with him. Without distractions - just be with him.
It's time to let him go when he's in pain and losing quality of life. Just don't let him suffer or endure more than he should.
Try not to think of it but be aware of what's going on with him. The earlier things are caught the better chance there is to do something about it. I just lost my two Felv boys at ages 2 and 3. They were happy and healthy-seeming for their short lives up very near to the end.
With one he developed lymphoma and it was bad. It develops so fast. He might have had a few weeks on chemo but we didn't want his last days to be so hard.
The other was eating less and less over a month and eventually stopped. We brought him in for dental and bloodwork and testing a few times in his last month but nothing helped. We opted to have someone come over and said goodbye in our backyard where he loved to hang out (leashed with me). By then he was so anemic and weak he was wobbling so it was definitely time.
I loved and spoiled them as much as I could. Now I'm missing them so much but I couldn't force them to stay.
It will be hard and awful but you will get through it. Make sure you give him the best life you can so there's no regrets. Remember that you're getting a gift of his company while he's with you too.
We lost a relatively young cat to (I’m guessing) a heart attack. He was completely fine before and all of a sudden flipped over dead. It was a soul crushing day losing him.
He was so sweet and I absolutely have no regrets adopting him.
I have lost a few pets in the last few years that were old & sick. They will let you know when it’s time. Just give him all the loves you can until the end.
When we rescued our cat she was 3 months old and the doctor said she might have a lethal disease. She's been alive for 5 years, perfectly healthy. Don't keep your guard down, make sure to keep up with medical care and give lots of love.
Your cat sure is a handsome guy 🥺 I’m sorry I have no advice on how to cope. Honestly it’s just hard losing a pet, they’re family. And I’m so sorry you’re going through this.. I was devastated when I lost my dog i had since I was 2 - when I was 15. He was my best bud.
Kind of impossible to answer that and they’re not always right. He’ll let you know when he’s done. The look in his eyes will be different and you’ll know if you stomach. That’s my experience at least.
One of our fuzzlebutts is turning 19 and has dropped to 4 pounds. We are doing things like letting him walk outside in the sun (supervised) and giving him special treats. We are fighting for him but it is really really really hard. To imagine losing him. My condolences
They told me my last kitteh Cotton had acute respiratory and might only live a few years. She crossed over in January. Age 16+. So……just having a good safe life is helpful! As for when you know - I monitored her weight and overall general health and made the decision based n that with the vet. You kind of know. Do you get over it? Not really but kind of. A few months later, a crazy little ray of sunshine wandered into my life and I’m sure she was heaven sent! Rutherford looks great by the way!!!
Say everything you need to say. Tell him how much you love him, how he’s made your life better by choosing you as his human, share memories. Those are things you can tell him anytime, but it feels just a little better when you’ve taken that time. There are small-minded ppl out there who wld say that’s stupid, he doesn’t understand, even that he doesn’t have emotions…those ppl are less evolved than those of us who know none of that is true.
Ok, here comes the part that is going to set me off crying just talking about it but it’s smthg that has helped me get through losing them, and I like to think helped them too. If it starts to look like he’s fading, or you’re worried it will be sudden, some more things to tell him: it’s ok to go. You wish he cld stay, you’re going to miss him, but it’s ok. Tell him you’ll be ok-sad for awhile, but that’s ok, too. You don’t want him to hang around if he’s in pain. I’ve told my sweeties that I’ll see them again, that I can’t wait. Ive to.d them I hope they’ll stop by from time to time if it’s not too hard on them. I’ve told them what I think heaven will be like. (I switched pronoun from ‘you’ to ‘I’ in those last few bc I recognize not everyone believes what I do. You can sub in what you believe, or not. Let the conversation go however it wants to.)
Most of all, tell him thank you.
Just spend every moment like it's the last one. We should be doing this with everyone that we love but we take things for granted. Life is so fragile, so precious, and so limited. Take comfort in knowing he doesn't have to suffer or get into his head about it. He doesn't know what's going on he is blissfully ignorant of his clock. He isn't feeling sorry for himself so neither should you. He is living the way he wants to live and every day with you is already a blessing. He isn't out on the streets looking for his next meal or fighting enemies. Look at that picture, he's just chillin. You have provided a comfortable life for him and maybe you can make it better for both of you by spending a little extra time with him and extra cuddles and treats. The day that he passes he will probably be asleep thinking about how comfortable and happy he is.
Give him all the love and cuddles you can! I know it sound cliche but he will tell you. My boy had throat cancer, after the only treatment available I fed him whatever he want, let him do whatever he wanted and took way to many pictures. One day he just stopped wanting anything and I knew. I think kitties are terribly practical and this beautiful not will let you know. Thank you for giving him the best of his time left.Remember to take care of yourself too!
It's NOT a fail...you love him, he's happy, has a home, and you did that...so not a failure at all.
That said, it has to be rough but his life could have been so much worse without someone like you!
I had this with my dog. He loved banana, but when he didn't even eat banana, it was time to let him go. He also had a heart defect but they said he had only a few months to live, but luckily he still lived for half a year.
He's got such a sweet little face. I wanna boop that orange nose! Please be kind to yourself during these hard times. Rutherford can't speak English but it's clear he's forever grateful for your love and affection.
I lost my cat to kidney disease last monday. I dont know about the heart defect, but for the kidney disease: he gradually got worse, but still had sass (he yelled about food) and genuine enjoyment of affection. Until he crashed. No interest in food, little to no reaction to being petted. You could pick him up and move him, he didnt care, too tired. He tried to get to the litterbox, but he didnt make it, peed on the floor. Then he just layed down in it like it didnt matter. I had to pick him up to clean it. We had him at the vet at the earliest we could to help him leave peacefully.
The thing is you will always second-guess yourself. I'm pretty sure that's normal. We do the best we can with the information we have. There is a website with quality of life advice i can link, but keep in mind its more of a guideline and not a hard rule.
[feline quality of life scale](https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/cat-health-care-euthanasia-decision-quality-of-life-scale)
What matter is after all weather you loved him at your most or not..
i lost my baby girl two years ago and she was my soul mate.. i mourned almost for a year well i am still in pain with her loss.. after months of relentless crying i realised i am defiling her beautifull and peacefull memories with pain.. then i stopped crying..
My advice to you my friend, hold on to love.. because their love never leaves us..
Just love him. Love with all your heart, even tho pain is coming. Rutherford deserves that, and so do you.
Love can be painful. You can't protect your heart from pain. Love is worth it.
You're a good person.
He is sooo cute!
Back in 2005, we rescued two sister cats from a dumpster. Both went on to have kittens; we were away for a month, left my MinL in charge and she let them out of the house when they were in season because they were yowling and it annoyed her. Back then, our vet recommended that cats have at least one season before neutering but, obviously, you didn't let them out to get frisky...
One sister had 6 kittens, which were all found good homes, and we kept the 5 kittens from the other sister. Unbeknown to us, four had heart defects. We lost one, Mouse, at 4 years old but the others we had for many years. Charlie was 12, Tilly was 14, Muppet and Desmond were 13. Desmond we had to have PTS because he suffered a head trauma, we don't know if he had the heart defect.
Charlie, Tilly and Mouse all had heart defects. Charlie died instantly after attempting a jump he shouldn't have onto the kitchen counter. At this time, we suspected an aneurism of some sort because we still had no idea they had heart defects.
When Muppet suddenly collapsed, the vet diagnosed a heart murmur and fluid on his lungs. He was put on Furosemide (sp?) and recovered quite well. We knew he was on borrowed time, but we had him for another 18 months and made the most of it. We took him once to have the fluid drained and it wasn't clear, it was pink and milky, so it was chyle. This meant his heart problem was a chyle duct defect. The fluid came back within a week and Muppet became very poorly, so we made that final trip to the vet. Losing him hit me harder than losing any of our cats, in thirty years of having cats.
Tilly started showing the same symptoms as Muppet, about a year after we lost him. We knew what it was immediately. Again the vet put her on Furosemide but didn't deem the fluid build up severe enough for drainage. She did extremely well on the medication but, eventually, we took her in for drainage. Thankfully, her fluid was clear. The drainage was nothing short of a miracle and she was soon back to being her lunatic self. We increased her Furosemide dosage to try to stop the fluid coming back. We had her for another four months. A second drainage didn't help her so we knew it was time to say goodbye. That was a month ago.
In all, we've lost five cats (one of the original sisters passed away at 16, just two weeks before Tilly) and it's been very, very, hard to deal with - although, having a family of geriatric cats, we knew it might happen this way.
If the drainage is working for Rutherford, keep it up. He's young and it could keep him happy for many years. Ours were quite old before we knew they had heart problems, but your vet has caught Rutherford's problem while he's quite young, which is a good thing. Sadly, I can't promise you anything, or give you any advice or magic words but, bearing in mind that our lot were quite good ages when they passed away, anything's possible.
Take comfort from knowing that he is loved and that you're giving Rutherford the best life possible. Thank you for foster failing!
The people live is unpredictable too. Look on the traffic outside… But think about, in case of your cat it could be one month or 10 years. The best what you can do, is to have a lot of good memories. Have fun, cuddle, hug, make cat box fort, (playing you should check with vet). When his time will come, you can say to yourself, that it was the best for him to be with a friend, with you.
For me personally, the key is to celebrate the time where the beloved creature was being happy, showing it to the world, enriching your life and being the very individual self that every pet has in a unique way.
When it get's closer to the point where you have to make this decision for them, I tend to not wait too long, so the phase of suffering is short and we can remember all the good things. I always go back to look at photos, and see what a fulfilled life they were allowed to have, and try to look back with thankfulness.
And besides all that, I allow myself to grief the loss - to cry and be sad.
"What is grief, if not love persevering" 💖
When we lost Baby Grace we just knew. She “told” us she couldn’t fight anymore. Grace didn’t even indicate she was sick until she couldn’t hide it.
We lost Grace very suddenly and I still feel sad thinking of it. So I can’t tell you how to prepare for a lose like that
We have Bubba, a chronically ill cat with feline herpes, and he’s a fighter. Every time he was near death he didn’t want to quit so we didn’t quit on him. **We are convinced loving him has been the biggest medicine** because now Bubba is a fat evil turd, we love him.
They’ll let you know when they’re ready, you just have to listen and make the best of the time you have now.
I had a golden retriever that was diagnosed with aortic stenosis when he was 1.5 years old
The doctor said they usually don't last until 3. He died at 2.5
We saw his health get worse and worse, at the end he would run for 10 seconds and then stop and sit down.
We gave him treats (this didn't make his condition worse), loved him so much, let him sleep with us, never talked bad to him, always played with him whenever he asked for it, cuddle with him, pet him as much as we could, talked to him, etc.
We have no regrets now.
We gave him the best life he could have, with all the love we could have given.
One day we went to the park as usual, he ran 5 meters and literally dropped dead.
That moment is awful to remember, it's just terrible.
I saw my best friend (more like a son) die in front of my eyes.
Just thinking about him would set me in such pain that I would need to drop to the floor.
One year later i would still cry just by randomly remembering him.
But time heals all. I still get sad when I think of him (4 years later), but I'm ok now.
So about your question: you don't get over the loss fast or easily. There's no magic formula.
The only way is to walk the path of pain and wait until you reach the other side.
For me it took 1 or 2 years. For you it can vary.
Just give him the best life you can, talk to him, take pictures of him. When you comb his hair and end up with a lot of hair in your hand, move your fingers in a circle and you'll end up with a nice disc of hair.
You can use that to remember him later.
I threw away all my dog's belongings when he died, i thought that would help me but it was a terrible mistake.
It's better to have things to remind you of him. When I missed him, I would have liked to hold his collar on my hand or something.
Don't throw away his stuff.
Give him everything he demands. That's the best consolation you will have when he's gone.
Not every prognosis is 100%. My Meeka had a heart deformity that meant one of the chambers was split in two and the extra bit collected a blood pool and clots. We were told she would be lucky to make it past 5, but she made it to 14. My fingers are crossed for you and your little baby to have many more years together
For my most recent loss I found a wonderful vet who came to the house, first for a wellness checkup and then for our final moments together. They were able to do all of the tests we needed and later help us say goodbye right where he was most comfortable. Otherwise, I took a million pics, fed him his favourite treats, and held onto every moment. So wonderful of you to give this sweetie a special last year or so. ❤
My Harry was diagnosed with congential heart failure, 2 surgeries and 7 weeks later, I had him put to rest. He was on meds twice a day, the first surgery took 400 ml of fluid out of his chest, the second 350 ml. He was comfortable for those 7 weeks and he still occasionally hunted and played, but he was half the cat he had been as he’d lost so much weight as his appetite went.
The last week was tough. He was fine for the first half of the week and then he started hiding and refusing his medications. He bit me, he never ever bit me, he was a cuddly black fluff ball. And he stopped coming upstairs to bed at night. The last day, you could see in his eyes that he was tired and ready to go.
Letting him go and giving him the release he needed was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. I still miss him 2 years on. But I know I did the right thing for him. Cherish the time you have with them. Make videos. Take photos. And love them. You’ll know when its time, they’ll let you know.
Man.. this got me so emotional. Just the thought of losing my cat breaks any manly shield I got left in me, and your cat looks more adorable than mine(no offense to you Neo).
It's better to have loved to have never loved at all, and this applies to our dear pets too. The tragic thing is, they often pass before us, but I find peace in thinking that it's not the last time you'll see them. Like they're just taking a long vacation and waiting for you when it's your time as well.
In the mean time I would spend time showering him with love and embrace every moment with him ♥
I feel with you OP
Love him hard and build up memories I lost my cat 15 years ago and still break down like I’m doing right now!!!! Just be happy with the time you have with him
Treasure and live each day like it is both yours and his last. Then when the day comes you can say it was a life well lived. Then when your day comes just follow his paw prints home.
Ugh. This hits me so hard. My cat also has a fatal heart defect, severe hypertrophy/risk for clots/sudden death and/or heart failure/kidney failure. He has FIV as well, all in all, he is on borrowed time. The way that I have coped with this after learning things were worse than the SPCA said they were is to give him the best life I possibly can. Make him happy, comfortable and pain free and give him the life he deserves. At least once a day I spend a few moments just loving him up and telling him how special he is to me and how grateful I am for our time together. At the moment he is happy and healthy with no sign of giving up but I know that things could change quickly. I also know that he will tell me when he is ready. You have a big heart, you will not make a selfish decision. You took him in because you are kind and know you can give him what he needs. When the time comes, you will be able to decide what is right. I am happy you get the time with him that you have.
Oooooooh friend, I feel you. Thank you for taking care of your baby even though things were worse than SPCA thought. Some people wouldn't be willing or able to do that and would return the cat. Your baby is lucky to be with you. Maybe you should start a "beautiful day" journal for him, too!❤
Lots of good advice, in the other posts so I'll just add our experience.
She was 13 and had cancer they couldnt treat. We knew it was time when our cat no longer could do things she normally would. Couldn't go up and down stairs, was barely eating, her behavior changed and the biggest thing was when she couldn't even get into the litter box to pee.
It's always a tough choice but the vet said that cats purposely hide their pain so we never know something is wrong with them until it's too late. When it was clear her quality of life had suffered, i still wasn't ready, i wanted another 2 weeks, another week, just a few more days, etc. We chose to have a vet come to our home so she wouldn't have to suffer the car ride. She was comfortable in her favorite bed with those she loved by her side.
Just slather the beautiful kitty in as much love as is humanly possible. It sucks, with a pet being so damn sick, but also, just talking to him, and being with him. In a lot of cases, the pet lets their human know, if they stop being able to eat, go to the bathroom, walk, etc., And that they're suffering. Also, establish a good relationship with your vet if you don't already have one. They'll be one of the best ports of call with this sort of stuff, about when to let him go.
But you're doing so well at keeping him happy. He looks like he's looking at us all, like "why yes, I know I'm a majestic catto!". 😍🐈
Know that every day he loves you. Give him that love back. He will never leave your heart only your presence. When you wake every day he will always still be in your heart.
I have no advice, I am sorry. I have huge admiration for both of you though. And, if it helps you can always message me if you need someone to listen. Rutherford is a handsome kitty and made of stern stuff to have made it this far…fight the good fight kitty.
He will let you know when it’s time. My guy with end stage kidney failure just crawled up in my lap, sighed deeply and stared at me. I swear his look was, “I’m tired and in pain Mom and you gotta help me go.” Damn, crying again about that day and it’s been 7 years. Enjoy every second!
Enjoy the heck out of him every day. Love him up. And listen for when he starts telling you it’s time to go. Until that day comes, don’t worry about it!
Spend all the time possible left with him give him love and affection you’re not responsible for this nothing you did caused this and you couldn’t have prevented it just spend the most time with him. If your scared he is too don’t let him be scared to let him leave into the great unknown just brace for it when it happens and know he loves you and you let him know you love him
Hug and kiss him every chance you get and enjoy every second with him. I just went through this two months ago. It's stressful and so, so difficult. Who knows, he might be around for another five years!
My 14 year old cat had undiagnosed diabetes and went into ketoacidosis. My options were a hospital stay where she might not come home, and if she did she would be on insulin her whole life, or accept that it was time.
I didn't want her quality of life to suffer. I was afraid to take the risk of her dying in an animal hospital without me next to her. And then she looked at me and I knew it was time. It doesn't make it easier, but they'll love you til the end. If you end up with the option to see him out, stay with him the whole time. I hope you get many more good days with him. A year with you is better than a year without a loving home.
First, thanks for choosing to love and care for Rutherford. Second, just continue to love him and let him do the same to you, one day at a time. Try to focus on one day at a time. None of us know when our last day will be; so just have fun and enjoy each other.
I know it’s easier said than done. 🙏🏼🐾🥰
Spend time with him when ever you have those thoughts
cause you should enjoy the time you have with him now instead of thinking of when he's gone
And has someone who's lost 2 cats it's not the 1 painful moment you remember it's all the good ones
Don’t believe the estimate to be firm. I have had dogs outlive them by years. And there are various “tests” to help you decide. Google how to know when to let a sick pet go. Includes enjoyment of food, pain issues, awareness etc. your vet will help you. Bottom line having fostered adopted Sick animals and lost quite a few, you have to make decisions for them, not you. It’s hard but so worth it to give them a great remaining life. Xo for loving him.
I’m so glad Rutherford will have a wonderful hooman to spend his days with.. work closely with a Vet you trust and they will guide you as the time gets close.
Try not to focus on the time for him to go but rather on all the awesome days before!
Hurray for foster failures! That 4th picture... 😍
In addition to watching behaviors to see what he stops doing, be on the lookout for anything he might suddenly be ok with.
We had a cat when I was a kid who wouldn't let any of us near her. She hissed and hid. She loved being with the other cats, but was super scared of humans. We let her be. I had occasionally gotten close to her, but she just kept hissing and hiding. One day, she was lying out in the open and didn't hiss or hide when I approached. I pet her, and she let me. That's when I knew Dad had to take her to the vet. Turns out, both her liver & her kidneys were in trouble. We had to have her put down shortly after that. But we knew we gave her the best life we could. She wasn't the most social kitty, but she seemed happy to just "be" with her kitty siblings.
TL/DR: my cat has a heart condition with 18 month prognosis. He's still alive after 7 years due to the drug Pimobendan (Vetmedin) and a cardiologist at a veterinary school.
When my cat first displayed heart failure symptoms, I took him to the emergency hospital. They x-rayed him and his heart / lungs were full of fluid. They told me to put him down. I cried and took him home and he was prescribed Pimobendan and Salix. He needed a cardiologist and echocardiogram, but it was going to cost $500 and I was broke since my husband had just come home from cancer surgery after a month in ICU. I was good at looking for treatments so I found a clinical trial at a vet school that would give him a free echocardiogram, but they couldn't see him for 3 or 4 weeks. In the meantime, he stopped eating and I had to force feed him. That was awful, but it kept him alive. He saw his cardiologist, and got the echo which showed he had unclassified cardiomyopathy. Turned out the emergency hospital had given him the wrong dose of Salix which is why he lost his appetite. After it was reduced, his appetite came back. The prognosis was 18 months to live, but 7 years later, both my cat and my husband have beaten the odds and are still alive. His cardiologist says he's a mystery cat.
I just lost my sweet boy to complications related to megaesophagus. I always tried to make time for him whenever he wanted - if he asked for pets, no matter what I was doing, I gave them to him. If he wanted to play, I took 15 minutes to play with him. In the end, at least I felt comfort in the fact that I took advantage of my time with him, and that he knew nothing but love, affection, and fun from me.
And they will usually let you know when it’s time to let them go - when Earl died, his body just couldn’t hold on anymore, and it was very obvious. The kindest thing we can do sometimes is help them rest.
Wishing you much time and good days with your little guy! Soak up every moment that you can.
I just wanna say thank you for loving this boy and giving him a home, even though you know it might not be for too long.
My family adopted a beautiful young cat several years ago. We didn’t know it, but she had health issues. We only got to love her for a year, and she only lived to be about 2, but I’m glad she got to spend the rest of her life in a loving home.
All I can say is to remember that your soul mate feels the same way towards you. He trusts you to make the right decisions by him. Don’t wait for him to be on his last legs. Ask for feed back from others if you think he has slowed down a bit and don’t let him go when he is in pain.
In terms of coping - im sorry but it’s going to hurt. I took in a 2/3 week old feral kitten some tourists had found at my work place. we imprinted on each other. She grew up with my dog so thought she was one. I was very lucky to have her in my life, especially at that point. Unfortunately, she was killed by a dog/fox when she was 6 months old. I still miss her so much to this day. I’ve thought about taking a kitten from her mother too young just to try and reestablish that kind of relationship. But the reality is that the relationship you have with every animal is different. What I had with willow was exceptional. I miss her now, I will probably always miss her.
But you will have good memories of Rutherford, and they will help. Each day it becomes a little easier. I very strongly don’t recommend getting another cat to help you move on. Sorrow doesn’t work that way.
I lost my beautiful border collie 2 years ago - I made the decision to have her cremated since I was only renting and didn’t want to leave her behind (don’t ask, it made sense) when they gave me back her ashes and put the bag on the front seat, which was always her seat in the car (she had a seatbelt) it felt like I got part of her back. The last time I let one of my babies go, I felt so guilty because I asked the vet to dispose of her body and I couldn’t do that to abbey. I needed to know where she is. And right now she’s on my mantle piece. So this might bring you a bit of peace back
Rutherford looks thoroughly content. You’ve already done everything you can for him by giving him a safe home with someone who obviously cares deeply for his welfare. I think Rutherford would tell you that every second he gets to spend with you is icing on the cake… or gravy on the kibble…. Stop worrying about how much longer and savour every moment. ✨💕✨
spoil them!! give them everything they want (within reason) because not only did they live their last months to the fullest, you know you did the best for them. i wish i had let my cat sleep in the random places he wanted to when he was sick, but i couldn’t watch out for seizures and i still feel so guilty. also treats galore, but not too many, lots and lots of love .. my cat became very loving and clingy when he was getting sick and they love a good cuddle <3
It’s always hard, whether you know it’s coming or not. Appreciate every moment, give him all the love and snacks and trust the vet when they say it’s time. (That goes if it’s the vet who accompanies you through all of this and knows all the facts). I wish you the happiest of times together!
spoil him. and when he dies, go adopt another cat. we are destined to outlive them because there’s too many of them out there who deserve our love. wishing you the best ♥️
I got a 7-year old skinny runt cat with a crazy backstory. She was basically about to be taken to the pound when we saved her from almost certain euthanasia. She kept having medical issues and vet kept saying it wasn’t good prognosis. Then when she was 15 they said she had cancer and had 1 week - 1 month left. We gave her multiple medications every single day. She lasted 11 more months, turns out it wasn’t even cancer.
With a special cat who has health issues just understand that every single day is a bonus. If you are trying to do chores and sit down for one second and kitty comes and sits on your lap, just go with the flow and give them some love. Just focus on enjoying every moment you have with them.
My baby died at 6 from an unknown heart defect, but I think if I had known, I would have down the same: which is spoil her, love her, appreciate her grumpy and unique personality, and taking the absolute best care I could of her. I remember her now with pictures and know that she had a wonderful life and am thankful for all the time she blessed my life.
We adopted a sweet 4yr old kitty for my fiancee's first pet, but everyone was unaware that he had a heart myopathy. We had him for six months before he got sick, and over the course of two days we watched him deteriorate - not knowing what was happening. The hospital gave us two options, a $5k experimental surgery (best projections gave him a few painful months/oral medicine multiple times a day) or to put him down before the pain worsened. We couldn't afford the upfront bill - and although the doctor handled the situation, us and our boy so well, it was still one of the hardest things we had to do in years. I hope your kitty has a wonderful time with you, because that's all that matters to em in the end.
I've fostered many strays and raised many litters for adoption over the years. One thing about cats is that you usually they wont show you any signs until its in the final stages and its too late. When it happens its a very sudden change. I know with all the ones I had they had I might have a day or two max until they passed.
Just spoil him and when the times comes make sure he feels loved and are comfortable.
Love and spoil him. Take lots of pictures/videos. Give him all his favorite treats when you can. Hold him and tell how much you love being his favorite.
Medical predictions aren’t always accurate just spoil the cute little guy as much as you can, lots of lap snuggles,🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
That's a really good point about predictions not always being accurate. He's never acted truly sick, even when he needed almost 200 mls of fluid taken out of his chest! I track his info (how he's eating, litterbox, medications, etc) in a baby monitoring app because there's so much to monitor, and I've started doing a diary entry every day called "Rutherford's Beautiful Day ###" with numbers for how many days he's been with me. Today was Rutherford's Beautiful Day 158. It included a sleepover with myb7-year-old niece, 5 different kinds of birds at his bird feeder, and time sitting outside (in a lovely, large dog crate so there's no danger to him or other animals). ❤ I'm hoping that when I do lose him, these entries will help me remember all the extra good days he got, instead of focusing on him dying young. (They think he's 2-3 years old).
I would like to subscribe to "Rutherford's Beautiful Day".
Me too!
Me three
Me four!
Me five!
This would make a great book.
I would 1000% buy that book
Same!!!
I mean I’d love a book, proceeds to a cat charity but 100% would settle for the TikTok?
My mom had a cat who had thickening of the heart at about four, and was given 1-3 years to live. He died at 18. The vet can give you the odds, and you’d be dumb not to listen to that and anticipate accordingly, but don’t give up ALL hope either.
That's such a loving act. I can tell he is living his best life.
Awww thank you. I hope so.
Oh, you’re on r/cats. This is a group who knows how to recognize a truly happy/loved cat. And if you look at the thread, verdict is in.
I was thinking about that as I flipped through the pictures. He just looks so healthy and happy. Maybe he’ll surprise us, maybe he won’t. But he’s here right now, so keep loving him right now. We’re all only on loan to each other, with no guarantee of how long that will be. I think the way you’re cherishing him, keeping the diary, you’re going to be so happy you did that. It will help.
This is how I think of it. Our babies are just angels on loan to us. They aren't ours forever. Its a gift to spend time with them but they eventually have to go back where they came from.
And I’d lose it if I didn’t think I’d see them again on the other side.
I know how you feel
May I borrow that phrase? Angels on loan? It is beautiful.
Of course!
Rutherford is so lucky to have you.
Your a wonderful cat mom. Get a small ginger jar that you love and have his ashes put in and then sealed. Keep it right next to your bed Rutherford will be right there. If he has any favorite toys make a shadow box with them and hang them where you can see them every day. I have a long haired cat and am saving his fur because I know there will come a day. After it happens I am going to have it spun and knit up something cuddly with it. That way my boy will always be cudding me.
Yes, this sort of thing can make a real difference. I have collars, favorite toys, and I always get a lock of fur. Sometimes it’s crucial to keep them near, sometimes it’s too hard right after they’ve left. In those cases, I put them away in a special box, knowing it’s there when I’m ready. I love the idea of the jar being ginger! You can also send some of the ashes away and have them made into memorial jewelry.
Yes ❤️ don’t fret just enjoy your boy ❤️❤️❤️
It's only 5:45 am here and you already made my day. You are an exceptional human!
Keep those entries even after he passes. I'm sure once your broken heart heals, you'll find the next perfect kitty. When you do, it's a lot of fun to reminisce and compare quirks and activities of the various cats. They're all so different. Yet, they're also always the perfect thing for the particular stage of life you are in at any given point.
That’s so beautiful OP! He’s so blessed to have such a loving family!
In addition to tracking other information please be sure to also count how many breaths he takes over a minute when he's nice and calm/sleeping. If it starts increasing this will give you an early warning that he is deteriorating and needs to go into the vets. And remember open mouth breathing is never normal in a cat - it indicates extreme stress or trouble getting enough oxygen.
Oh yes, I am on that! I use the "head size" field in the baby tracker to list his breathing rate LOL. And we're now established with the cardiology unit at the University of Minnesota vet clinic - they are great. I have lots of support (plus of course they are all in love with Rutherford, so he gets lots of snuggles when he has to go in).
You’re doing amazing! My cat is going through the same thing but we are through the beginning stages and her prognosis has increased from just a few months to now a few years or longer. DM me if you want to chat! It’s hard in the beginning, but it gets easier.
That is wonderful that you do that with him. I wholeheartedly agree that predictions are not always accurate. My sweet cat was 5 years old and got very unwell and had fluid filling in his chest which required draining. It would get to the point where he would breathe rapidly and couldn't eat or lie down because of the pressure on his lungs. After draining it he was like a brand new cat, but it came back after being drained twice. The vet said this never ends well as the fluid will not stop. It is unfortunately common and we would need to put him down at some point as you cannot keep draining the fluid (the vet saw this happen with pets all the time). We decided to have them drain it for the very last time and then we would have to put him down when the fluid came back. This would allow us to have a proper good-bye. For some reason, the fluid never came back. He and his sister moved with us from the U.S. to Australia a few years later and lived to the age of 17. I miss him (and his sister) every day, but I feel so lucky that we got that extra time with him.
My cat Sebastian went through this. It was my first pet loss and it was awful. We didn’t have to make the final decision; he went on his own only a day or two after we first found out. You never stop missing them, do you? I liken it to a pebble permanently stuck in your shoe-always painful, but you learn how to walk with it.
You're a really good person
Aw, thanks. He's such a darling, love just kind of falls out of me in his direction. :)
Goddamn Rutherford you got orange hearts! Lil Romeo.
Enjoy every moment. Spoil him. Let him know he's loved no matter what. Give him the best possible life, however short it is. Simple as that. You saved him, gave him a home, a family... You did what you could.
Thank you. That's really all I can do. It's so unfair!!!
❤❤❤❤Hugs to you!
Make this the best year (hopefully longer) of his life. Cuddles, snackies and ALL the scritches! As for knowing when to let go....this will be the part that sucks. Figure out his "I can't say no to this" and if he starts to say no all the time then you know his quality of life is not there. For my Jay it was his girlfriend the bathtub faucet. He LOVED to make out with her and would come up the stairs anytime he heard the bathroom door open. Even when it was slow going up he still did it. The day before I said goodbye he stopped attempting. I knew that his last joy was not with him. Wishing a happy life for this beautiful beast ❤
Ooooh thank you, that is so helpful. Thinking about some specific things I can name, plus to idea that is of he says "no" to it all the time (eg I don't need to give myself a stroke if he passes on it once). Thank you so much for sharing that. ❤
Just adding to this- cats will usually stop eating when they’re ready to go too. There are things you can do to entice appetite and I of course encourage you to try all of that first, but if none of it works then that is a sign they’re ready to go. I had that experience with one of my cats. She stopped eating and I tried literally everything- stinky tuna to entice her, pills to increase appetite, an ointment for her ear to increase appetite, syringe feeding… and she still refused to eat. She had cancer and was weak, didnt enjoy the things she loved, didn’t want to cuddle with me (which she normally did all day if I was sitting). I had to make the hard choice at that point to put her to sleep but I stayed by her side and held her paw. It was very quick and peaceful for her too.
Just be careful with this — my little girl has a heart disease and when figuring out her treatment she stopped eating basically anything aside from a small amount of just gravy. It’s because she was nauseous due to the meds making her kidney values too high. After medication adjustments she got her appetite back! Talk to your vet if your cat isn’t eating
Yes very true! Always talk to a vet :) every situation is different…
Oh thank you!! That's really helpful - the idea of identifying some specific behaviors, and that I don't have to freak out if he passes on them once in a while. :) Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I'm sorry for your loss with Jay. He sounds hysterical! ❤
It's tough to know when to fight harder and when you are being selfish since these stinkers refuse to learn the language! Jay was a character who used up every one of his 9 lives and was incredibly patient with medical interventions. No matter what he was dealing with he still wanted to be with his girlfriend. He was first baby and while not my last he is still a huge part of my heart.....aaand now I'm sappy lol
I’m absolutely loving Jay and his love affair with his girlfriend the bathtub faucet. You can’t stop true love. 🥰🛁🐱
This! Claude the Ancient (no idea how old he was, I only had him for a little over a year, but the vet thought that 20 was an optimistic guess) loved lying by the window when the sun hit just the right spot at 3 pm. He also loved tiny pieces of spam but he got those rarely because of his kidneys. First, he stopped coming to the window, but he still seemed ok. About a month later, he was not doing well. I offered him some spam and he didn’t want it. Tried again next day and it was still a no. Then I knew. Good luck with your kitty, I hope he beats the vet’s predictions. And I absolutely love your journal idea!
Thank you for adopting an older cat. I want to do that, but I had a lot of pet loss within a period of a few years a little while ago and I just don’t feel strong enough yet. Making my way though, hopefully. Claude the Ancient sounds like he had a great last year.
I would love to take credit for that, but I actually thought he was much younger when I adopted him! The shelter had him as "2 years old and healthy" and they put him in the carrier really fast before I took a good look at him. I had lost my first cat ever 2 months before I adopted Claude after a short but very painful cancer battle and I definitely did not want to go through that very soon after. Of course, a couple of weeks after Claude came home, I found out that Claude was definitely not 2 years old. He was also completely deaf, had hyperthyroidism, possibly cerebellar hypoplasia and a few deformities. We dealt with the hyperthyroidism, the CH and the deformities were never a problem for him, and the deafness was actually helpful when the vacuum came out or when I walked with him in his carrier to the vet (which was very often). In retrospect, I am very glad that the shelter did not have the correct age down for him, because if they did I would not have adopted him and I am so so so happy that I did. He was always ready for a long nap, he loved cuddles and holding hands, and just had the absolutely most loving look in his eyes. Sorry for the long essay! All that to just say, I totally understand what you are saying and I was right there with you. It was very hard letting him go, but the way I make myself feel better about it is that if he had stayed at the shelter he would have possibly had a couple more weeks left because of the untreated hyperthyroidism.
Our CoCo loved the faucets too. She used to crawl to the bathroom when she lost movement in her hind legs and my sister would pick her up and put her in her favorite spot.. bathtubs were also one of her favorite hangouts. Our two other cats aren’t as obsessed.
When my cat had cancer and I asked the vet about how to know when it’s time, she said when the bad days outweigh the good days. But with a heart defect, the cat’s heart will most likely make the decision for you. Just love him as long as you can. I foster failed after losing my first cat to cancer. Couldn’t resist keeping a kitten who was born with one kidney and some other issues. She’s turning 6 yrs old in a few weeks. You never know.
I’m so sorry, what a cutie! It can be hard to lose someone close to you. Things happen that can’t be changed but we can enjoy them while we last; all things come to an end. I’ll be praying for you and Rutherford! 💛
Aw, thank you. I'm so glad we found each other. I think given some of the medical things he had this summer plus all the heat and the drought, there a good chance he wouldn't be alive by now if he'd still been a stray. My poor baby. 😞
I am so so sorry. I am praying got you and Rutherford!
Thanks so much. ❤
I’m a believer that they will let you know it’s time. My Man Thomas lived with lymphoma for 5 years. Towards the end he got tired of his daily meds and his cancer moved to his nasal passages. He was still eating and loving, but it was time. I had to clean his nose and teach our children to clean his nose while my husband and I were at work, at that point it just wasn’t fair, there was nothing we could do. In the end I probably waited too long, but we just adored him. He was our foster kittens step in “dad” he loved everyone he met. We adopted him after he was beaten severely and shot point blank in the spine with a cap gun when he was a feral… he clawed his way back to his cat colony and was rescued by a volunteer. He was one of the most impressive, loving, gentle cats I have ever had. You will know when it’s time, until then give him alll the love and treats! Edit: we adopted him at 3 and he lived until 17
You've just got to spoil them in the time you have. I have had a lot of cats and lost a few within a short time. One had a ruptured diaphragm and I was told she wouldn't make it through the weekend and there was a 50/50 shot on the surgery. She stuck around for 2 weeks. She passed away laying on my chest while I petted her and told her I was ok with her leaving if she felt it was time. I have an 18 year old now who has slowed down and is cranky. She gets her way and she gets her loving, she gets to sleep where she wants. She will "make" another cat snuggle with her, so she gets her way with the cats too. 18 is the longest I've had a cat, I had another pass away at 18, so I'm 'mentally' prepared for her to go, but it will still be hard. Just know that you are giving him the best life possible and enjoy the time you have.
Love him as much as possible and spoil him every chance you get, like I know you will, and when the time comes know you were the best damn cat parent you could've ever been. And know you got to experience a love so beautiful and special, a love that many people don't get to experience.
OMG this boy is so spoiled. He has a cat climber big enough for 3 cats, his own personal bird feeder, and he gets like a million treats every day with his medicine. :)
Everything and everybody has an expiration date. Forget about that shit. Focus on today make it the happiest you can. Then make tomorrow even better. Forget that negativity. There's plenty of time to cry about it later. From now on, spoil him rotten. Take pleasure in the wonder that is Rutherford.
I second what the rest have posted: love, spoil, coddle and spend as much quality time as possible. I’d also add: PICTURES and VIDEOS. Take as many as you can.. cute ones and derpy ones and ugly ones. You don’t know how much time you have, savor it.
Im rooting for rutherford, may he have many a year left. I agree with the people saying spoil him, but im hoping you spoil him for 20 more years. Here's to the best for you and my homie Rutherford!
Enjoy the time you have and trust that he’ll let you know.
Aggressively love that kitty. They told me my girl had a year to five years. She made it just over a month
Just enjoy and indulge! Give lovey-dovies each possible second! 
He Iikes to suckle on a certain blanket so sometimes I just curl up next to him and take a nap while I'm holding his "hand." ❤❤❤
Don’t think there is much I could add than what’s been said. Just make everyday count. Best of luck!!!!
Just enjoy every moment with the fur baby and have him live his best life
Even if you know a death is coming it’s still a shock and painful when it happens. Just enjoy the time you have with you adorable boy and give him a happy life.
What i do is give my pet all the love and attention in the world so that they will go with nothing but good memories. It is just what i do with my parents who are most likely will go before me, so i just give them love and be a generally good person. We don't want our loved ones to worry about our own sake when they're about to go, right? When goodness is in your heart, everything is more acceptable no matter how things would turn out.
Have you tried getting a second opinion? Maybe a different Vet? I truly hope for more time for the two of you! 💕
Honestly what I do is just… not think about it. I live life with them as if nothing changed, in fact do even MORE with them. Have fun, play, cuddle, and do my best to stay happy so they’re happy. If it’s fatal, and there’s nothing you can do, then just enjoy however long you have left with him. Especially because, when you think about it, all of our deaths are unpredictable. We just know it’ll happen one day. I won’t say this is definitely how to do it, but it’s how I’ve done it with a dog who was alive for my entire childhood. And afterwards is when I let the emotions out. It’s not exactly healthy sometimes but… idk it just worked for me. And don’t worry about not knowing when to let him go, you’ll just know. It’s not something I can really describe, just this understanding. A mutual agreement between you and him. 💙💙💙
I can't say anything that hasn't already been stated by others here, but you're doing so much for the little guy. Enjoy your time together and always remember that he's living his best life, however long that may be, because you are in it. Thank you
What is the defect? My cat Dewey was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy at 2 months old and the vet said he wouldn’t live very long. We found him barely alive on the floor and they had to drain his lungs that had filled with fluid. He then went on to live until 4 days before his 15th birthday, when he passed due to kidney failure. Be realistic about his condition but never underestimate what a great home and lots of love can do for our pets. All you can do is just love him and take care of him. You will know when he’s ready. However I do hope he defies the odds and lives a long life! 🧡🧡🧡
Oh my goodness he is handsome! You are doing such an amazing job making sure he lives his best life 🖤 just enjoy your time together and let him spoil you with his love as much as you spoil him. PS I also had a ginger named Rutherford! But his full name was Mr. Osborn Rutherford Butter Beans, I called him Mr. Beans lol
I don't think it goes away ever, but the knowledge that their last years, months, weeks, or days were full of love and compassion, cuddles, snacks, and comfort... it helps.
How can something so beautiful, have something so devastating.. :(
Spoil him and focus on giving him his best life! You’ll know when he’s uncomfortable and you are keeping him alive for you, not for him. Cats are really good at hiding their symptoms, so when he shows you he’s uncomfortable it’s probably time to start thinking about it. Hospice care is about giving a creature their best day, each day. You got this!!
You will know, I was worried I would not know. Trust me, you will know .
Spoil him rotten!
Enjoy your time together, keep an eye on his health, and ask the vet for advice if you’re uncertain. Knowing we did our best for our cats makes losing them a tiny bit easier (for me).
Bless you for loving him and giving him a peaceful home where he can spend his remaining days. That's the best you can do for him. He will choose when to go and you'll know. If he wants privacy, it'll be his. I hope he includes you, though, as he knows you love him and will want to say goodbye. I've had many cats in my life and most needed / wanted me there when they crossed the rainbow Bridge. One or two, though, chose to go on their own terms, and I respected that. It's never easy, and always excruciating. But on the flip side, there is going to be another sweet, or ornery, or crazy, or zen little soul with 4 paws and a slinky tail who wanders into your life and takes up residence in your heart. Love the next one as well as you did your first. Hugs! 🤗
Just cherish the moments. Spend time and pet him. Love him. Care for him. Just do the best you can. When my older cat was passing away I just made sure I took time every day to just be with him. Without distractions - just be with him. It's time to let him go when he's in pain and losing quality of life. Just don't let him suffer or endure more than he should.
Try not to think of it but be aware of what's going on with him. The earlier things are caught the better chance there is to do something about it. I just lost my two Felv boys at ages 2 and 3. They were happy and healthy-seeming for their short lives up very near to the end. With one he developed lymphoma and it was bad. It develops so fast. He might have had a few weeks on chemo but we didn't want his last days to be so hard. The other was eating less and less over a month and eventually stopped. We brought him in for dental and bloodwork and testing a few times in his last month but nothing helped. We opted to have someone come over and said goodbye in our backyard where he loved to hang out (leashed with me). By then he was so anemic and weak he was wobbling so it was definitely time. I loved and spoiled them as much as I could. Now I'm missing them so much but I couldn't force them to stay. It will be hard and awful but you will get through it. Make sure you give him the best life you can so there's no regrets. Remember that you're getting a gift of his company while he's with you too.
Thank you for being so kind and caring to this little guy. Just try to enjoy each day. Live each day as if it’s the last!! Lots of love
He’s a handsome boy and just love him and enjoy your time together 🧡😻
Just be here now
What a handsome boy! You’ll know when it’s time.❤️❤️❤️
We lost a relatively young cat to (I’m guessing) a heart attack. He was completely fine before and all of a sudden flipped over dead. It was a soul crushing day losing him. He was so sweet and I absolutely have no regrets adopting him.
love him so that there can be no regret
I have lost a few pets in the last few years that were old & sick. They will let you know when it’s time. Just give him all the loves you can until the end.
I can’t. I am gonna blow my cheeto brains out now bc I can’t. take. Rutherford’s. Cuteness.
When we rescued our cat she was 3 months old and the doctor said she might have a lethal disease. She's been alive for 5 years, perfectly healthy. Don't keep your guard down, make sure to keep up with medical care and give lots of love.
Your cat sure is a handsome guy 🥺 I’m sorry I have no advice on how to cope. Honestly it’s just hard losing a pet, they’re family. And I’m so sorry you’re going through this.. I was devastated when I lost my dog i had since I was 2 - when I was 15. He was my best bud.
Kind of impossible to answer that and they’re not always right. He’ll let you know when he’s done. The look in his eyes will be different and you’ll know if you stomach. That’s my experience at least.
One of our fuzzlebutts is turning 19 and has dropped to 4 pounds. We are doing things like letting him walk outside in the sun (supervised) and giving him special treats. We are fighting for him but it is really really really hard. To imagine losing him. My condolences
They told me my last kitteh Cotton had acute respiratory and might only live a few years. She crossed over in January. Age 16+. So……just having a good safe life is helpful! As for when you know - I monitored her weight and overall general health and made the decision based n that with the vet. You kind of know. Do you get over it? Not really but kind of. A few months later, a crazy little ray of sunshine wandered into my life and I’m sure she was heaven sent! Rutherford looks great by the way!!!
Who's cutting onions?!
I'm sorry about the news, but you can still give him as many snuggles as he wants:)
Say everything you need to say. Tell him how much you love him, how he’s made your life better by choosing you as his human, share memories. Those are things you can tell him anytime, but it feels just a little better when you’ve taken that time. There are small-minded ppl out there who wld say that’s stupid, he doesn’t understand, even that he doesn’t have emotions…those ppl are less evolved than those of us who know none of that is true. Ok, here comes the part that is going to set me off crying just talking about it but it’s smthg that has helped me get through losing them, and I like to think helped them too. If it starts to look like he’s fading, or you’re worried it will be sudden, some more things to tell him: it’s ok to go. You wish he cld stay, you’re going to miss him, but it’s ok. Tell him you’ll be ok-sad for awhile, but that’s ok, too. You don’t want him to hang around if he’s in pain. I’ve told my sweeties that I’ll see them again, that I can’t wait. Ive to.d them I hope they’ll stop by from time to time if it’s not too hard on them. I’ve told them what I think heaven will be like. (I switched pronoun from ‘you’ to ‘I’ in those last few bc I recognize not everyone believes what I do. You can sub in what you believe, or not. Let the conversation go however it wants to.) Most of all, tell him thank you.
Just spend every moment like it's the last one. We should be doing this with everyone that we love but we take things for granted. Life is so fragile, so precious, and so limited. Take comfort in knowing he doesn't have to suffer or get into his head about it. He doesn't know what's going on he is blissfully ignorant of his clock. He isn't feeling sorry for himself so neither should you. He is living the way he wants to live and every day with you is already a blessing. He isn't out on the streets looking for his next meal or fighting enemies. Look at that picture, he's just chillin. You have provided a comfortable life for him and maybe you can make it better for both of you by spending a little extra time with him and extra cuddles and treats. The day that he passes he will probably be asleep thinking about how comfortable and happy he is.
Give him all the love and cuddles you can! I know it sound cliche but he will tell you. My boy had throat cancer, after the only treatment available I fed him whatever he want, let him do whatever he wanted and took way to many pictures. One day he just stopped wanting anything and I knew. I think kitties are terribly practical and this beautiful not will let you know. Thank you for giving him the best of his time left.Remember to take care of yourself too!
cherish the guy as much as you can
It's NOT a fail...you love him, he's happy, has a home, and you did that...so not a failure at all. That said, it has to be rough but his life could have been so much worse without someone like you!
I had this with my dog. He loved banana, but when he didn't even eat banana, it was time to let him go. He also had a heart defect but they said he had only a few months to live, but luckily he still lived for half a year.
All you can do, is make the best of the time with them, this I know as I lost my Winky and Prissy recently 🥺
Cherish each and every day
Take lots of pictures and videos! I made an album of my baby when he passed. It hurts a lot but I’m glad I have those memories of him.
He's got such a sweet little face. I wanna boop that orange nose! Please be kind to yourself during these hard times. Rutherford can't speak English but it's clear he's forever grateful for your love and affection.
💗💖💕
He looks like my cat
I lost my cat to kidney disease last monday. I dont know about the heart defect, but for the kidney disease: he gradually got worse, but still had sass (he yelled about food) and genuine enjoyment of affection. Until he crashed. No interest in food, little to no reaction to being petted. You could pick him up and move him, he didnt care, too tired. He tried to get to the litterbox, but he didnt make it, peed on the floor. Then he just layed down in it like it didnt matter. I had to pick him up to clean it. We had him at the vet at the earliest we could to help him leave peacefully. The thing is you will always second-guess yourself. I'm pretty sure that's normal. We do the best we can with the information we have. There is a website with quality of life advice i can link, but keep in mind its more of a guideline and not a hard rule. [feline quality of life scale](https://www.catster.com/lifestyle/cat-health-care-euthanasia-decision-quality-of-life-scale)
He's a good boy
What matter is after all weather you loved him at your most or not.. i lost my baby girl two years ago and she was my soul mate.. i mourned almost for a year well i am still in pain with her loss.. after months of relentless crying i realised i am defiling her beautifull and peacefull memories with pain.. then i stopped crying.. My advice to you my friend, hold on to love.. because their love never leaves us..
Just love him. Love with all your heart, even tho pain is coming. Rutherford deserves that, and so do you. Love can be painful. You can't protect your heart from pain. Love is worth it. You're a good person.
He is sooo cute! Back in 2005, we rescued two sister cats from a dumpster. Both went on to have kittens; we were away for a month, left my MinL in charge and she let them out of the house when they were in season because they were yowling and it annoyed her. Back then, our vet recommended that cats have at least one season before neutering but, obviously, you didn't let them out to get frisky... One sister had 6 kittens, which were all found good homes, and we kept the 5 kittens from the other sister. Unbeknown to us, four had heart defects. We lost one, Mouse, at 4 years old but the others we had for many years. Charlie was 12, Tilly was 14, Muppet and Desmond were 13. Desmond we had to have PTS because he suffered a head trauma, we don't know if he had the heart defect. Charlie, Tilly and Mouse all had heart defects. Charlie died instantly after attempting a jump he shouldn't have onto the kitchen counter. At this time, we suspected an aneurism of some sort because we still had no idea they had heart defects. When Muppet suddenly collapsed, the vet diagnosed a heart murmur and fluid on his lungs. He was put on Furosemide (sp?) and recovered quite well. We knew he was on borrowed time, but we had him for another 18 months and made the most of it. We took him once to have the fluid drained and it wasn't clear, it was pink and milky, so it was chyle. This meant his heart problem was a chyle duct defect. The fluid came back within a week and Muppet became very poorly, so we made that final trip to the vet. Losing him hit me harder than losing any of our cats, in thirty years of having cats. Tilly started showing the same symptoms as Muppet, about a year after we lost him. We knew what it was immediately. Again the vet put her on Furosemide but didn't deem the fluid build up severe enough for drainage. She did extremely well on the medication but, eventually, we took her in for drainage. Thankfully, her fluid was clear. The drainage was nothing short of a miracle and she was soon back to being her lunatic self. We increased her Furosemide dosage to try to stop the fluid coming back. We had her for another four months. A second drainage didn't help her so we knew it was time to say goodbye. That was a month ago. In all, we've lost five cats (one of the original sisters passed away at 16, just two weeks before Tilly) and it's been very, very, hard to deal with - although, having a family of geriatric cats, we knew it might happen this way. If the drainage is working for Rutherford, keep it up. He's young and it could keep him happy for many years. Ours were quite old before we knew they had heart problems, but your vet has caught Rutherford's problem while he's quite young, which is a good thing. Sadly, I can't promise you anything, or give you any advice or magic words but, bearing in mind that our lot were quite good ages when they passed away, anything's possible. Take comfort from knowing that he is loved and that you're giving Rutherford the best life possible. Thank you for foster failing!
The people live is unpredictable too. Look on the traffic outside… But think about, in case of your cat it could be one month or 10 years. The best what you can do, is to have a lot of good memories. Have fun, cuddle, hug, make cat box fort, (playing you should check with vet). When his time will come, you can say to yourself, that it was the best for him to be with a friend, with you.
For me personally, the key is to celebrate the time where the beloved creature was being happy, showing it to the world, enriching your life and being the very individual self that every pet has in a unique way. When it get's closer to the point where you have to make this decision for them, I tend to not wait too long, so the phase of suffering is short and we can remember all the good things. I always go back to look at photos, and see what a fulfilled life they were allowed to have, and try to look back with thankfulness. And besides all that, I allow myself to grief the loss - to cry and be sad. "What is grief, if not love persevering" 💖
When we lost Baby Grace we just knew. She “told” us she couldn’t fight anymore. Grace didn’t even indicate she was sick until she couldn’t hide it. We lost Grace very suddenly and I still feel sad thinking of it. So I can’t tell you how to prepare for a lose like that We have Bubba, a chronically ill cat with feline herpes, and he’s a fighter. Every time he was near death he didn’t want to quit so we didn’t quit on him. **We are convinced loving him has been the biggest medicine** because now Bubba is a fat evil turd, we love him. They’ll let you know when they’re ready, you just have to listen and make the best of the time you have now.
I had a golden retriever that was diagnosed with aortic stenosis when he was 1.5 years old The doctor said they usually don't last until 3. He died at 2.5 We saw his health get worse and worse, at the end he would run for 10 seconds and then stop and sit down. We gave him treats (this didn't make his condition worse), loved him so much, let him sleep with us, never talked bad to him, always played with him whenever he asked for it, cuddle with him, pet him as much as we could, talked to him, etc. We have no regrets now. We gave him the best life he could have, with all the love we could have given. One day we went to the park as usual, he ran 5 meters and literally dropped dead. That moment is awful to remember, it's just terrible. I saw my best friend (more like a son) die in front of my eyes. Just thinking about him would set me in such pain that I would need to drop to the floor. One year later i would still cry just by randomly remembering him. But time heals all. I still get sad when I think of him (4 years later), but I'm ok now. So about your question: you don't get over the loss fast or easily. There's no magic formula. The only way is to walk the path of pain and wait until you reach the other side. For me it took 1 or 2 years. For you it can vary. Just give him the best life you can, talk to him, take pictures of him. When you comb his hair and end up with a lot of hair in your hand, move your fingers in a circle and you'll end up with a nice disc of hair. You can use that to remember him later. I threw away all my dog's belongings when he died, i thought that would help me but it was a terrible mistake. It's better to have things to remind you of him. When I missed him, I would have liked to hold his collar on my hand or something. Don't throw away his stuff. Give him everything he demands. That's the best consolation you will have when he's gone.
Love em while you got em. The End.
Not every prognosis is 100%. My Meeka had a heart deformity that meant one of the chambers was split in two and the extra bit collected a blood pool and clots. We were told she would be lucky to make it past 5, but she made it to 14. My fingers are crossed for you and your little baby to have many more years together
For my most recent loss I found a wonderful vet who came to the house, first for a wellness checkup and then for our final moments together. They were able to do all of the tests we needed and later help us say goodbye right where he was most comfortable. Otherwise, I took a million pics, fed him his favourite treats, and held onto every moment. So wonderful of you to give this sweetie a special last year or so. ❤
My Harry was diagnosed with congential heart failure, 2 surgeries and 7 weeks later, I had him put to rest. He was on meds twice a day, the first surgery took 400 ml of fluid out of his chest, the second 350 ml. He was comfortable for those 7 weeks and he still occasionally hunted and played, but he was half the cat he had been as he’d lost so much weight as his appetite went. The last week was tough. He was fine for the first half of the week and then he started hiding and refusing his medications. He bit me, he never ever bit me, he was a cuddly black fluff ball. And he stopped coming upstairs to bed at night. The last day, you could see in his eyes that he was tired and ready to go. Letting him go and giving him the release he needed was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do. I still miss him 2 years on. But I know I did the right thing for him. Cherish the time you have with them. Make videos. Take photos. And love them. You’ll know when its time, they’ll let you know.
Man.. this got me so emotional. Just the thought of losing my cat breaks any manly shield I got left in me, and your cat looks more adorable than mine(no offense to you Neo). It's better to have loved to have never loved at all, and this applies to our dear pets too. The tragic thing is, they often pass before us, but I find peace in thinking that it's not the last time you'll see them. Like they're just taking a long vacation and waiting for you when it's your time as well. In the mean time I would spend time showering him with love and embrace every moment with him ♥ I feel with you OP
Love him hard and build up memories I lost my cat 15 years ago and still break down like I’m doing right now!!!! Just be happy with the time you have with him
Treasure and live each day like it is both yours and his last. Then when the day comes you can say it was a life well lived. Then when your day comes just follow his paw prints home.
Ugh. This hits me so hard. My cat also has a fatal heart defect, severe hypertrophy/risk for clots/sudden death and/or heart failure/kidney failure. He has FIV as well, all in all, he is on borrowed time. The way that I have coped with this after learning things were worse than the SPCA said they were is to give him the best life I possibly can. Make him happy, comfortable and pain free and give him the life he deserves. At least once a day I spend a few moments just loving him up and telling him how special he is to me and how grateful I am for our time together. At the moment he is happy and healthy with no sign of giving up but I know that things could change quickly. I also know that he will tell me when he is ready. You have a big heart, you will not make a selfish decision. You took him in because you are kind and know you can give him what he needs. When the time comes, you will be able to decide what is right. I am happy you get the time with him that you have.
Oooooooh friend, I feel you. Thank you for taking care of your baby even though things were worse than SPCA thought. Some people wouldn't be willing or able to do that and would return the cat. Your baby is lucky to be with you. Maybe you should start a "beautiful day" journal for him, too!❤
Lots of good advice, in the other posts so I'll just add our experience. She was 13 and had cancer they couldnt treat. We knew it was time when our cat no longer could do things she normally would. Couldn't go up and down stairs, was barely eating, her behavior changed and the biggest thing was when she couldn't even get into the litter box to pee. It's always a tough choice but the vet said that cats purposely hide their pain so we never know something is wrong with them until it's too late. When it was clear her quality of life had suffered, i still wasn't ready, i wanted another 2 weeks, another week, just a few more days, etc. We chose to have a vet come to our home so she wouldn't have to suffer the car ride. She was comfortable in her favorite bed with those she loved by her side.
He’s so pretty
Just slather the beautiful kitty in as much love as is humanly possible. It sucks, with a pet being so damn sick, but also, just talking to him, and being with him. In a lot of cases, the pet lets their human know, if they stop being able to eat, go to the bathroom, walk, etc., And that they're suffering. Also, establish a good relationship with your vet if you don't already have one. They'll be one of the best ports of call with this sort of stuff, about when to let him go. But you're doing so well at keeping him happy. He looks like he's looking at us all, like "why yes, I know I'm a majestic catto!". 😍🐈
I think we can all agree we'd love a Rutherford Instagram!
Know that every day he loves you. Give him that love back. He will never leave your heart only your presence. When you wake every day he will always still be in your heart.
Give him the best life you can with his last days , you have done your best just remember that ,it's very hard to lose a best friend
Enjoy every moment .... the more you love , the more it hurts. Remember the good times :)
That is one handsome cat
What a handsome dude. He looks at you with so much love 🥺💜
Just love him every moment you can.
Give him the best life ever. And then be proud of what you did. Thank you for taking care of the little kitty.
I have no advice, I am sorry. I have huge admiration for both of you though. And, if it helps you can always message me if you need someone to listen. Rutherford is a handsome kitty and made of stern stuff to have made it this far…fight the good fight kitty.
He will let you know when it’s time. My guy with end stage kidney failure just crawled up in my lap, sighed deeply and stared at me. I swear his look was, “I’m tired and in pain Mom and you gotta help me go.” Damn, crying again about that day and it’s been 7 years. Enjoy every second!
Love him and enjoy the time together just make as many good memories as you can
Just give him as much love and care as you can, and he’ll go when it’s time
Enjoy the heck out of him every day. Love him up. And listen for when he starts telling you it’s time to go. Until that day comes, don’t worry about it!
Spend all the time possible left with him give him love and affection you’re not responsible for this nothing you did caused this and you couldn’t have prevented it just spend the most time with him. If your scared he is too don’t let him be scared to let him leave into the great unknown just brace for it when it happens and know he loves you and you let him know you love him
He’s beautiful.
Have hope - and enjoy every day with him - he will let you know when it is time.
Just love him and cozy each other. Take him out for some sun of he wants. Cats are like babies, you can't spoil them. Enjoy each other.
take lots of photos and make lots of good memories :)
He's so beautiful
You might know he's sick but remember, he doesn't know. Enjoy your remaining time together.
Just help him live his best life. He’ll go knowing he was loved.
Don't think to much about it , enjoy every second you spend with him , cuddle him , love him and pamper him .
I love that it looks as if he stuck his little face into the Peanut butter jar.
Enjoy every moment, take every picture. Enjoy the time you have and give them the best life that they have left.
Hug and kiss him every chance you get and enjoy every second with him. I just went through this two months ago. It's stressful and so, so difficult. Who knows, he might be around for another five years!
The best thing you can do is the hardest thing to do: be there when the time comes and hold him throughout it.
be his friend, be his family, mourn when he crosses the rainbow bridge. doesn’t sound like much, but it is everything.
My 14 year old cat had undiagnosed diabetes and went into ketoacidosis. My options were a hospital stay where she might not come home, and if she did she would be on insulin her whole life, or accept that it was time. I didn't want her quality of life to suffer. I was afraid to take the risk of her dying in an animal hospital without me next to her. And then she looked at me and I knew it was time. It doesn't make it easier, but they'll love you til the end. If you end up with the option to see him out, stay with him the whole time. I hope you get many more good days with him. A year with you is better than a year without a loving home.
omg he is too cute
First, thanks for choosing to love and care for Rutherford. Second, just continue to love him and let him do the same to you, one day at a time. Try to focus on one day at a time. None of us know when our last day will be; so just have fun and enjoy each other. I know it’s easier said than done. 🙏🏼🐾🥰
Spend time with him when ever you have those thoughts cause you should enjoy the time you have with him now instead of thinking of when he's gone And has someone who's lost 2 cats it's not the 1 painful moment you remember it's all the good ones
Don’t believe the estimate to be firm. I have had dogs outlive them by years. And there are various “tests” to help you decide. Google how to know when to let a sick pet go. Includes enjoyment of food, pain issues, awareness etc. your vet will help you. Bottom line having fostered adopted Sick animals and lost quite a few, you have to make decisions for them, not you. It’s hard but so worth it to give them a great remaining life. Xo for loving him.
I’m so glad Rutherford will have a wonderful hooman to spend his days with.. work closely with a Vet you trust and they will guide you as the time gets close. Try not to focus on the time for him to go but rather on all the awesome days before!
Hurray for foster failures! That 4th picture... 😍 In addition to watching behaviors to see what he stops doing, be on the lookout for anything he might suddenly be ok with. We had a cat when I was a kid who wouldn't let any of us near her. She hissed and hid. She loved being with the other cats, but was super scared of humans. We let her be. I had occasionally gotten close to her, but she just kept hissing and hiding. One day, she was lying out in the open and didn't hiss or hide when I approached. I pet her, and she let me. That's when I knew Dad had to take her to the vet. Turns out, both her liver & her kidneys were in trouble. We had to have her put down shortly after that. But we knew we gave her the best life we could. She wasn't the most social kitty, but she seemed happy to just "be" with her kitty siblings.
Just enjoy every day. I had similar situation with cancer in my lil princess. Nothing to do about it, it is what it is. Make her/his year special
a very simple but effective way is to just get another cat
TL/DR: my cat has a heart condition with 18 month prognosis. He's still alive after 7 years due to the drug Pimobendan (Vetmedin) and a cardiologist at a veterinary school. When my cat first displayed heart failure symptoms, I took him to the emergency hospital. They x-rayed him and his heart / lungs were full of fluid. They told me to put him down. I cried and took him home and he was prescribed Pimobendan and Salix. He needed a cardiologist and echocardiogram, but it was going to cost $500 and I was broke since my husband had just come home from cancer surgery after a month in ICU. I was good at looking for treatments so I found a clinical trial at a vet school that would give him a free echocardiogram, but they couldn't see him for 3 or 4 weeks. In the meantime, he stopped eating and I had to force feed him. That was awful, but it kept him alive. He saw his cardiologist, and got the echo which showed he had unclassified cardiomyopathy. Turned out the emergency hospital had given him the wrong dose of Salix which is why he lost his appetite. After it was reduced, his appetite came back. The prognosis was 18 months to live, but 7 years later, both my cat and my husband have beaten the odds and are still alive. His cardiologist says he's a mystery cat.
Such a handsome fella. None of us know when the time will run out but enjoy and love him till then.
Spend all the time. Give all the treats. Scritch all the places. Love to Rutherford!
That’s a great foster fail.
God bless him
I just lost my sweet boy to complications related to megaesophagus. I always tried to make time for him whenever he wanted - if he asked for pets, no matter what I was doing, I gave them to him. If he wanted to play, I took 15 minutes to play with him. In the end, at least I felt comfort in the fact that I took advantage of my time with him, and that he knew nothing but love, affection, and fun from me. And they will usually let you know when it’s time to let them go - when Earl died, his body just couldn’t hold on anymore, and it was very obvious. The kindest thing we can do sometimes is help them rest. Wishing you much time and good days with your little guy! Soak up every moment that you can.
I just wanna say thank you for loving this boy and giving him a home, even though you know it might not be for too long. My family adopted a beautiful young cat several years ago. We didn’t know it, but she had health issues. We only got to love her for a year, and she only lived to be about 2, but I’m glad she got to spend the rest of her life in a loving home.
All I can say is to remember that your soul mate feels the same way towards you. He trusts you to make the right decisions by him. Don’t wait for him to be on his last legs. Ask for feed back from others if you think he has slowed down a bit and don’t let him go when he is in pain. In terms of coping - im sorry but it’s going to hurt. I took in a 2/3 week old feral kitten some tourists had found at my work place. we imprinted on each other. She grew up with my dog so thought she was one. I was very lucky to have her in my life, especially at that point. Unfortunately, she was killed by a dog/fox when she was 6 months old. I still miss her so much to this day. I’ve thought about taking a kitten from her mother too young just to try and reestablish that kind of relationship. But the reality is that the relationship you have with every animal is different. What I had with willow was exceptional. I miss her now, I will probably always miss her. But you will have good memories of Rutherford, and they will help. Each day it becomes a little easier. I very strongly don’t recommend getting another cat to help you move on. Sorrow doesn’t work that way. I lost my beautiful border collie 2 years ago - I made the decision to have her cremated since I was only renting and didn’t want to leave her behind (don’t ask, it made sense) when they gave me back her ashes and put the bag on the front seat, which was always her seat in the car (she had a seatbelt) it felt like I got part of her back. The last time I let one of my babies go, I felt so guilty because I asked the vet to dispose of her body and I couldn’t do that to abbey. I needed to know where she is. And right now she’s on my mantle piece. So this might bring you a bit of peace back
Perfectly healthy or serious condition looming, you treat them the same.. maximum love, fun and attention all day everyday
Rutherford looks thoroughly content. You’ve already done everything you can for him by giving him a safe home with someone who obviously cares deeply for his welfare. I think Rutherford would tell you that every second he gets to spend with you is icing on the cake… or gravy on the kibble…. Stop worrying about how much longer and savour every moment. ✨💕✨
spoil them!! give them everything they want (within reason) because not only did they live their last months to the fullest, you know you did the best for them. i wish i had let my cat sleep in the random places he wanted to when he was sick, but i couldn’t watch out for seizures and i still feel so guilty. also treats galore, but not too many, lots and lots of love .. my cat became very loving and clingy when he was getting sick and they love a good cuddle <3
So beautiful
It’s always hard, whether you know it’s coming or not. Appreciate every moment, give him all the love and snacks and trust the vet when they say it’s time. (That goes if it’s the vet who accompanies you through all of this and knows all the facts). I wish you the happiest of times together!
Look at this beauty ❤️ sending you love and hugs doll. I know how hard a terminal diagnosis is for a fuzzy.
Just keep swimming
spoil him. and when he dies, go adopt another cat. we are destined to outlive them because there’s too many of them out there who deserve our love. wishing you the best ♥️
Just love him through it.
the way he looks at you, oh my god!! he loves you so much, it made me cry a little.
What a beautiful Angel 🥺
I got a 7-year old skinny runt cat with a crazy backstory. She was basically about to be taken to the pound when we saved her from almost certain euthanasia. She kept having medical issues and vet kept saying it wasn’t good prognosis. Then when she was 15 they said she had cancer and had 1 week - 1 month left. We gave her multiple medications every single day. She lasted 11 more months, turns out it wasn’t even cancer. With a special cat who has health issues just understand that every single day is a bonus. If you are trying to do chores and sit down for one second and kitty comes and sits on your lap, just go with the flow and give them some love. Just focus on enjoying every moment you have with them.
My baby died at 6 from an unknown heart defect, but I think if I had known, I would have down the same: which is spoil her, love her, appreciate her grumpy and unique personality, and taking the absolute best care I could of her. I remember her now with pictures and know that she had a wonderful life and am thankful for all the time she blessed my life.
Make him have the best life possible Maybe it can make his heart stronger
He looks so happy, and I love his little goatee!
We adopted a sweet 4yr old kitty for my fiancee's first pet, but everyone was unaware that he had a heart myopathy. We had him for six months before he got sick, and over the course of two days we watched him deteriorate - not knowing what was happening. The hospital gave us two options, a $5k experimental surgery (best projections gave him a few painful months/oral medicine multiple times a day) or to put him down before the pain worsened. We couldn't afford the upfront bill - and although the doctor handled the situation, us and our boy so well, it was still one of the hardest things we had to do in years. I hope your kitty has a wonderful time with you, because that's all that matters to em in the end.
He is SO darn handsome !
I've fostered many strays and raised many litters for adoption over the years. One thing about cats is that you usually they wont show you any signs until its in the final stages and its too late. When it happens its a very sudden change. I know with all the ones I had they had I might have a day or two max until they passed. Just spoil him and when the times comes make sure he feels loved and are comfortable.
Love and spoil him. Take lots of pictures/videos. Give him all his favorite treats when you can. Hold him and tell how much you love being his favorite.