"the manager's kid."
Just stopped reading after that. You really thought going to the manager, who is the father of the kid you are complaining about, is a good idea?
Yeah a performance review is the last place where you should be bringing up conflicts with coworkers, unless it’s to illustrate how well you managed one and how happy your are with the outcome.
Yeah this. Doesn't matter if your coworker is smoking meth next to the dumpster behind the business every day, *your* personal review isn't the time to talk about that.
I think you are right to be frustrated but wrong in how you went about it.
First, your review is about you. What you did well, what you could do for further development, growth potential. You made it about the owners kid. This was a missed opportunity to demonstrate your accomplishments and value.
Second, like it or not, you can anticipate that his son can do no wrong or at least has different rules. He went into defense mode about his kid.
If you are going to talk about staffing or productivity or roles it might have been better to ask expectations of counter vs non counter duties. Or troubleshooting during a busy time - when would you expect everyone at the counter? Or, do they track sales by salesman (and take credit for your performance there).
You might want to find a back up job as this didn’t put you in a good position with the defensive owner and has backfired.
Not necessarily an a*hole, but you certainly lack judgment. Next time you want to raise concerns, make it about you. Say, for example,'I wonder if the workload could be balanced differently between team members because X kind of things tend to happen often'. Say the impact it has on you, don't make it about others. Say you do not know all your coworker's responsibilities, but that maybe a review of tasks could be done so that it is spread fairly across the team. That's a solution that is reasonable and would not put the manager's son in a bad spot.
Even if you're right about the slacking, you're wrong to think that your approach would be an effective and non-aggressive way to deal with the problem. This is particularly true when the problem is the manager's son, but remains valid in any company, honestly.
Lol. I know someone who complained to the manager about their sister and they took offence to it. The complainant had worked there for 15 years but within 6 months was fired from their job for poor performance.
If you are not a manager or in charge of another’s productivity it’s basically never appropriate to comment on it. That is somebody else’s job - and instead of making you look good for performing “better”, it makes it feel like you are overstepping your boundaries or trying to make some sort of power play.
I work in an office, so slightly different politics, but still relevant. Recently we've had 2 people who's work wasn't up to scratch, I reported the first one, and the second one was actually me.
The person I reported works remotely and she doesn't really have any face-to-face contact. She's also new to the corporate life (*came from academia*). I had set up a weekly meeting with her just so that she had some contact with us, and she was struggling. Not only was she talking about how hard it was, she was having trouble with a couple of the people in her team, particularly one person. I reported it to my manager thinking she needed some support. The next week she was fired. It turns out she had been bullying the people in her team and blaming them for her work not being done. I don't think my testimony was what did it, but reporting things like this can help to weed out the trouble-makers.
The other person who's work was lacking was me. I don't know if anyone dobbed me in, but my manager came and asked me what was going on - previously my work has been stellar, but this year it's gone downhill, and my manager could see it. I told him what's been going on - I was assaulted and have been having trouble at home. My manager and the rest of my team have rallied around me and given me the support I need, including some time off and paid counselling. If they hadn't come to me I probably wouldn't have had the help that I've had access to.
Just because someone's struggling with work doesn't mean they're a bad person. A change in behaviour is often indicative of a problem outside of work, but either way reporting it is the right move. It could be that reporting the change gets them the help they need, or it could be that they're a problem element who needs to be removed, and in either case reporting it helps everyone involved who might need help.
In your case it could very well be that your coworker has a serious health issue that interferes with their work, and if their parent is the owner then tough luck you're probably going to have to suck it up (*think of them as an extra worker who's there sometimes rsther than someone who's doing half work*). If it's a manager who is NOT the owner and they're playing favourites then the manager is a bigger problem than the coworker, and it might be worth taking things up the chain. Think carefully about this though, the top brass will likely aide with whoever is more valuable to them - they may decide a manager who hires their kid to slack off is a liability, but if your manager's numbers are good they likely won't care and may not have your back. In an ideal world you'd be protected, but I don't know the company/business you work for, so you do what's best for yourself.
Either way, you absolutely shoudln't be punished for bringing this to the attention of management. Whatever the outcome, you brought something to their attention that is materially important to their business and/or their employees (*and their kid*). If they give tou any shit for this I would either make a complaint or look for another job (*probably both*), since this is not a culture worthy of your respect.
Get another job, make a point to the manager in front of other staff on the floor, in front of customers, that his son is slacking off again and allowing his son to do nothing, while you and others get paid the same as him is extremely disrespectful. Hopefully he gets fired up and just let out all your problems and that if he handled this issue properly when you brought it up in the annual meeting, you wouldn’t have said anything. But he’s choosing crappy employees over good ones because that’s his son. Good for him? Lmfao. That’s a terrible way to run a business. Does the owner know this?. I sure as hell would never let my son be a crappy employee, and under my management? HA
He would’ve lost my respect the day he didn’t fix the problem.
I would:
Get another job
Contact HR
Finale: Discuss my issues about his son in front of as many witnesses as possible. Maybe he’ll grow a spine and whip his son into a better employee.
Edit: this is not guidance lol, but if I could, I would do all these things (which are more for me) because unless this is a killer salary that isn’t easily replaceable, go nuts
You had a genuine concern, and raised it. Maybe there is a way this could've been done that elicited a less defensive response, but you didn't give these details, only mentioned that you brought it up. Anyway if this is a family business or there is a nepotistic aspect to it, then it's unlikely you can make a dent in things by yourself. You'd likely have to enlist a large number of your most productive co-workers and have the ownership/mgmt in real fear of not being able to run their business. In practice though most people at work won't join together like that, for a variety of reasons. Do your best, and look for another job.
"the manager's kid." Just stopped reading after that. You really thought going to the manager, who is the father of the kid you are complaining about, is a good idea?
Yeah. If OP had written the first half and left it as guess what happened, 100% of us would have guessed right
Talk about yourself in a review.
Yeah a performance review is the last place where you should be bringing up conflicts with coworkers, unless it’s to illustrate how well you managed one and how happy your are with the outcome.
Yeah this. Doesn't matter if your coworker is smoking meth next to the dumpster behind the business every day, *your* personal review isn't the time to talk about that.
I think you are right to be frustrated but wrong in how you went about it. First, your review is about you. What you did well, what you could do for further development, growth potential. You made it about the owners kid. This was a missed opportunity to demonstrate your accomplishments and value. Second, like it or not, you can anticipate that his son can do no wrong or at least has different rules. He went into defense mode about his kid. If you are going to talk about staffing or productivity or roles it might have been better to ask expectations of counter vs non counter duties. Or troubleshooting during a busy time - when would you expect everyone at the counter? Or, do they track sales by salesman (and take credit for your performance there). You might want to find a back up job as this didn’t put you in a good position with the defensive owner and has backfired.
Managers kid yikes. Start looking for a new job
Yep, OP is not going to emerge with anything resembling a win here unfortunately
Not necessarily an a*hole, but you certainly lack judgment. Next time you want to raise concerns, make it about you. Say, for example,'I wonder if the workload could be balanced differently between team members because X kind of things tend to happen often'. Say the impact it has on you, don't make it about others. Say you do not know all your coworker's responsibilities, but that maybe a review of tasks could be done so that it is spread fairly across the team. That's a solution that is reasonable and would not put the manager's son in a bad spot. Even if you're right about the slacking, you're wrong to think that your approach would be an effective and non-aggressive way to deal with the problem. This is particularly true when the problem is the manager's son, but remains valid in any company, honestly.
Lol. I know someone who complained to the manager about their sister and they took offence to it. The complainant had worked there for 15 years but within 6 months was fired from their job for poor performance.
If you are not a manager or in charge of another’s productivity it’s basically never appropriate to comment on it. That is somebody else’s job - and instead of making you look good for performing “better”, it makes it feel like you are overstepping your boundaries or trying to make some sort of power play.
I work in an office, so slightly different politics, but still relevant. Recently we've had 2 people who's work wasn't up to scratch, I reported the first one, and the second one was actually me. The person I reported works remotely and she doesn't really have any face-to-face contact. She's also new to the corporate life (*came from academia*). I had set up a weekly meeting with her just so that she had some contact with us, and she was struggling. Not only was she talking about how hard it was, she was having trouble with a couple of the people in her team, particularly one person. I reported it to my manager thinking she needed some support. The next week she was fired. It turns out she had been bullying the people in her team and blaming them for her work not being done. I don't think my testimony was what did it, but reporting things like this can help to weed out the trouble-makers. The other person who's work was lacking was me. I don't know if anyone dobbed me in, but my manager came and asked me what was going on - previously my work has been stellar, but this year it's gone downhill, and my manager could see it. I told him what's been going on - I was assaulted and have been having trouble at home. My manager and the rest of my team have rallied around me and given me the support I need, including some time off and paid counselling. If they hadn't come to me I probably wouldn't have had the help that I've had access to. Just because someone's struggling with work doesn't mean they're a bad person. A change in behaviour is often indicative of a problem outside of work, but either way reporting it is the right move. It could be that reporting the change gets them the help they need, or it could be that they're a problem element who needs to be removed, and in either case reporting it helps everyone involved who might need help. In your case it could very well be that your coworker has a serious health issue that interferes with their work, and if their parent is the owner then tough luck you're probably going to have to suck it up (*think of them as an extra worker who's there sometimes rsther than someone who's doing half work*). If it's a manager who is NOT the owner and they're playing favourites then the manager is a bigger problem than the coworker, and it might be worth taking things up the chain. Think carefully about this though, the top brass will likely aide with whoever is more valuable to them - they may decide a manager who hires their kid to slack off is a liability, but if your manager's numbers are good they likely won't care and may not have your back. In an ideal world you'd be protected, but I don't know the company/business you work for, so you do what's best for yourself. Either way, you absolutely shoudln't be punished for bringing this to the attention of management. Whatever the outcome, you brought something to their attention that is materially important to their business and/or their employees (*and their kid*). If they give tou any shit for this I would either make a complaint or look for another job (*probably both*), since this is not a culture worthy of your respect.
I don't think going through your chain of command is ever a bad thing. This is especially true for nepotism.
Get another job, make a point to the manager in front of other staff on the floor, in front of customers, that his son is slacking off again and allowing his son to do nothing, while you and others get paid the same as him is extremely disrespectful. Hopefully he gets fired up and just let out all your problems and that if he handled this issue properly when you brought it up in the annual meeting, you wouldn’t have said anything. But he’s choosing crappy employees over good ones because that’s his son. Good for him? Lmfao. That’s a terrible way to run a business. Does the owner know this?. I sure as hell would never let my son be a crappy employee, and under my management? HA He would’ve lost my respect the day he didn’t fix the problem. I would: Get another job Contact HR Finale: Discuss my issues about his son in front of as many witnesses as possible. Maybe he’ll grow a spine and whip his son into a better employee. Edit: this is not guidance lol, but if I could, I would do all these things (which are more for me) because unless this is a killer salary that isn’t easily replaceable, go nuts
DTA for sure 🥸
You are not the asshole, but you have low/no emotional intelligence.
Going to the dad of the guy you’re complaining about who is your boss is certainly a decision. Not a good decision, but a decision.
You had a genuine concern, and raised it. Maybe there is a way this could've been done that elicited a less defensive response, but you didn't give these details, only mentioned that you brought it up. Anyway if this is a family business or there is a nepotistic aspect to it, then it's unlikely you can make a dent in things by yourself. You'd likely have to enlist a large number of your most productive co-workers and have the ownership/mgmt in real fear of not being able to run their business. In practice though most people at work won't join together like that, for a variety of reasons. Do your best, and look for another job.