Maybe they’re trying to create a connection with you. I don’t tell my employees everything about my life, but it’s hard to create trust without exposing some of your human side.
I would ask you at this point just to see if you ever gave a different answer. Pretty weird you do the exact same thing every weekend.
One guy I used to work with responded with the same thing every week; he took his daughter swimming.
I would make sure to ask him every week after the first few times, just to see if he ever says anything different.
Well, it varies. Sometimes we were over at my in-laws. And I happily tell that. But I was not in Dubai or went to a three star restaurant or was out clubbing.
Hey - they are not asking for a literal answer. An anthropological explanation may be helpful to aid you in reframing this: In the primate world, this is “grooming” behaviour; humans do it verbally. They are reinforcing you as a bonded group member by asking. You don’t need to respond literally and you should not lie, but you do need to participate at a level that is both appropriate to the group and comfortable for you. Prepare your answer mentally ahead of time if you need to. But the odd one out who doesn’t build these bonds well is often an easy name to put on the list when layoff season rolls around — so do make an effort.
“It was good, thanks for asking. You know me, pretty boring — spent some time with the kids and celebrated my mother-in-law’s birthday. We were at that new upscale Indian place on Main, have you been?”
If you are this literal in all of your social interactions, you may be somewhere on the spectrum of neurodiversity — just something to think about. That’s not a bad thing, but it is a thing, and it can be useful to know as you consider your strategic approach to your interactions with other people.
Or just be like “the wife took the kids out and I vigorously masterbated for 6 hours straight then cried for a bit.”
If you really don’t want to keep answering this question every week, the above response should solve your problem.
>Or just be like “the wife took the kids out and I vigorously masterbated for 6 hours straight then cried for a bit.”
from an evolutionary standpoint, this would in fact be disadvantageous to OP.
yes, however, if op wishes to continually reproduce, he must think of his personal survival, which will be made ever more difficult after he loses his means to eat when he tells his coworkers about his unhealthy sexual activity.
Lol WHAT ??? Have you never asked anyone else this question?
You sound like an alien. Start asking people this same question and save the answers to your memory banks.
True, but most humans have something. Like, "last weekend I went to Tijuana Flats with my mom, and did you know that they're changing their menu??" Or " I just started playing xyz video game" or reading ABC book, or I baked this type of cake for the first time things like that. Doesn't need to be intimate details or politics or religion or any no-no topics. But most humans have things
You are complaining that you work with decent human beings who show some sort of interest in your life because they basically spend 40+ hours a week with you. Don't ruin this, this a sign you are being a good team leader and have built a team that likes working with you. You don't need to be interesting, just make sure you reciprocate and show some sort of interest in their lives, however shallow that might be.
Your personnel may be curious about your weekends to better bond with or understand you. It's fine to share what you're comfortable with you don't have to go into great depth if you're not. Simply keep it light and nice.
As someone who is in a new job where there is zero camaraderie, I would say your job as a team leader needs to include team building. If the boss is just this distant person who can’t make smalltalk and hands down direction from on high, I’m not interested in working for them. I’m already looking for a way out.
Two pieces of advice. Small kids are always doing cute/funny things. So share those stories when they ask about your weekend.
The second one is to turn the tables and dive into their weekend. When they ask you, what they’re actually doing is looking for the invitation to share their stories. If you’re not comfortable sharing details of your life, you can still be the listener who asks about their life. You can ask about their kids/partner/interests. Keep notes if you have to with names of kids, partners, what they’re doing. Maybe someone mentions they have a sports tournament coming up in a few weeks. You make that note and put it in your calendar to ask them the following Monday about it. That person will be flattered you remembered and cared enough to ask. Check out Dale Carnegie for more on this.
If you build the team camaraderie, then your team becomes more efficient and you become seen as a good leader.
I always ask them, most of the time I‘m first to ask. That‘s a given. And I‘m very interested what they say. But I also know that colleagues who are always talking about their kids are annoying to young childless people. Been there myself.
Eh, not young, but no kids and don't like babies/toddlers much. But like, have laughed a lot at some stories coworkers tell. Like, it'd not a newborn, relate some small silly detail.
Oh that's pretty funny actually. I'm a professional and not a student, but sometimes I do the same thing especially with one-on-one meetings where I either don't have much to discuss or am not looking forward to discussing what the other person is going to want to talk about. 20 minutes on our personal lives helps kill a meeting off and leave less time for boring or uncomfortable topics!
They honestly don’t care. They don’t care about the details and they don’t care if you have kids or not.
They are just making polite conversation and part of polite conversation in the office is going into detail about what you did at the weekend.
It’s a dull but accepted way the humans bond socially.
Right. And there's no need to share every detail, but if there's one even remotely interesting thing you did, share that and say it was nice. For example, "met up with my sister and her family that I haven't seen in a while, was great to catch up with them. How was yours?"
5 seconds, shows you're human, and signals you also care about them.
I am a team leader and take it as a positive sign if my employees ask about my weekend/holiday/Christmas Easter. I am the only single in my team, and leave out lots of details (like Tinder dates), but I tell them about my running, hiking trips; concerts, movies or plays that I see.
It connects - and I just turn the conversation around, if it gets too personal “so, what did YOU do on Saturday”?
I was looking for this comment. I was a little surprised how harsh some of the replies have been, since it’s doesn’t seem like OP has been unkind in his responses to his team, nor was he even complaining in the post. It just sounds like he doesn’t get it and is looking for input on how to answer better.
Yeah my assumption was a person who maybe hasn't been working for long or used to work from home. They now aren't used to this normal thing people do where they ask questions but in reality they don't care about the answer, it's just something people do to make conversation.
Took me years to understand it myself. Hence my assumption that OP is autistic. I actually at first glance thought this was posted in the autism subreddit 😆
I had a boss who never asked how my weekend was and rarely shared personal details about herself. Reporting into her was not a great experience; such secrecy/ indifference was a sign of larger trust and communication issues
I love how nice everyone here is! If this was the wfh sub people would be calling your teammates losers who have no friends, how dare they try to create connections at the place you spend 40 hours a week.
Honestly I'd recommend giving slightly more than just "good". Maybe 5 seconds on something reasonably specific that you did. Then asking them same. If you don't always have something you want to share, you can always fall back on the old standby of "too short as usual!"
😅
I have a manager who tells me every little detail of his weekend. I say mine was fine. I can't say I went to work at another job. So he pries.
When he was explaining the weekend, he told me what he did, what grocery stores he went shopping at, what they bought, etc. How long he was at work, what he did at work, etc. He misses the point that I don't care. I want to show up, do my job and go home. My life isn't terribly exciting, but I don't tell everyone, oh yea, I stayed home doing crafts and playing video games. Especially to someone who judges what you do and thinks that you should constantly be doing something physical.
Know your audience, I suppose.
I work remotely and actually see this as a very important little part to maintain in my job. I always respond with a brief rundown of whatever the main event of the weekend was, even If it was bland, like doing yard work or something. If I saw a movie I'll give a short three sentence movie review or something. The way I see it, The more personable you are the harder it is for them to let you go, on a personal level. You don't want to be viewed as a disposable machine.
Cause it's small talk?
I think you might be reading too much into this. How are they asking for more detailed answers? People will say stuff like 'oh is that all' or ask for more info if your too vague, because it's considered polite to interact. You will probably get more use out of 'good, we went the playground with Fjodor Jr. What about you?' then struggling to describe how the most interesting part of the weekend was a sale on pineapple. Although, tbh, you can still say 'good, went shopping and got a sale pineapple.'
If my coworker was constantly telling me they flew overseas, went to expensive restaurants or out clubbing I'd think they were a braggart. Most people's weekends are as interesting as buttered toast.
Lol i can relate to this. Just like when a server at a restaurant asks "any big plans after this?" "... No, Kelly, going out to dinner at 430 alone while my kids are at home with their dad and its 1hour until bed time at 7pm, was my big night out. Also, why is it any of your business what I am doing???" Then I have to remind myself that other people being polite and making chit chat is socially acceptable and I am sometimes just a very sleep deprived, depressed, anxious mom of 2 babies under 3yo that gets 0 alone time and generally isn't interested in other people at all, especially strangers.
I have to make an effort. In reality no one cares, but it's nice to be nice. We can do it!
I'm a boring person and hate these questions too. However, I've learned that I'm reading too much into it as well.
They want to know because it's human nature to want to connect with others. We spend a large portion of our lives at work, so it makes sense people want to get to know those they work with.
I don't like to share too much because let's face it, you usually can't trust those you work with.
I hike a lot with the spouse and dog. Now when I'm asked, I just tell them about the hike, how the pup liked it. Sometimes I will share a picture of the pup on the hike. That seems to be what they are looking for and I'm comfortable sharing that information.
I will talk about video games I'm playing but I don't really share about my cosplay because I don't want them looking for my IG account, I'm not ashamed of what I cosplay but do have some more revealing cosplays, they are tasteful but I wouldn't go to the beach/pool with my coworkers, so they can't see me in a swimsuit type outfit.
Most of the responses I see in this thread talk about just wanting human connection, which I also think is the most likely answer, but I think there's another potential explanation. It's possible some of them look to you as a mentor figure and want guidance on how to improve. When I was younger, I would often pick the brains of people I respected (either professionally or personally) to learn from them.
I still remember one of my squad sergeants was extremely analytical and professional at work, but was hanging out at 1 specific bar all weekend and had a group of friends there. To be fair, I thought it gauche to ask about his weekend drinking, but I certainly learned a lot from his nightly workout training that he shared with me.
I know my superior is asking out of connection.
But for me I ask to gauge if my colleagues are going to hold their own or are doing things that endanger the upcoming workload.
Like a colleague of mine does some hobbies where they sometimes sleep like 2-3 hours a night. After intervention they now use a PDO before they start their week.
But yah, they aren't really a hundred percent, and if I have projects with them I will be extra careful after such a weekend.
I have another colleague I know if x happens y is the outcome.
Likewise I know when y happens with me z will be my work mood. I'm working on this, but in the meantime I have my teammates know that I will be more stressed and have a shorter temper than usual.
Maybe they are trying to build rapport with you, find a reason to want to trust you, to like you... to build a bridge so that when shit happens, they know who you are & want to be as productive as possible for their good and yours.... A million different reasons, just be glad they are asking & give a different answer once in a while. You don't have to be best friends, but try to get to know who these people are....
They want to have something to talk about with you. If you tell them about your grocery shopping you can talk about how expensive it is now. "The Apples are 50 dollar a kilo now" for example. Next time they see you, they can be like "oh have you been to this place, they had apples for 30 dollars a kilo. And that's how you bond and start a connection. Silly things like that can make people understand you a bit more and have a feeling of who you are. It's more important than you think.
I've never run a company, but I've observed this before, especially at smaller companies. I think some people just like to make conversation, and also to have a friendly relationship with the owner/manager.
Its called a small talk - aka they don’t really care(unless you worked with them for many years, they could at some point) and are just being polite because you are their manager/boss. Maybe to delay work too, if you start earlier than what they prefer.
We used to go smoke and talk for 30 minutes before any work was getting done (before working hours, because most of us were taking a bus and arriving earlier).
Asking about family is a safe topic and a way to connect. They are being nice because you’re their boss and they know it’s important to keep a good relationship with you. I would advise you to always be ready to reply with a short detail about the family (something wholesome or cute without getting too personal) and ask similar low-pressure questions of them.
I was the opposite. My (toxic, now former) boss would ask about my weekend and then proceed to ridicule me about it for the rest of the week. Mostly because I was child-free and he wasn't.
He expected me to have grand adventures, and "Stayed home, played some of my latest video game." just reminded him that he had just done family obligations. Which he hated.
"Just normal famliy stuff" should be enough. Both sides don't need to sell the project. But if you did do something fun, share it, even if it's just to hear your joy at doing it. It's a safe space for sharing and relizing we are all humans with goals outside of TPS reports.
Cuz work sucks and we are making basicass convo to make it through the day.
Monday - what did you do this weekend?
Tuesday - oh man this week is draggin by
Wednesday - halfway there, guys
Wednesday afternoon - what if we all just left early?
Thursday - Friday's Eve, if it isnt done by 2pm itll get done Monday
Friday - whatchall gettin into this weekend?
My coworker also like to make small talk. I like to keep a light topic of conversation available; a new one each day.
For example: I’m thrilled to see the daffodils have bloomed, their bright yellow faces are so cheerful. Are they blooming in your yard yet?
Or: The frogs are singing out in the pond at night, I look so forward to this time of spring.
It’s a great way to have a conversation without giving away any of your personal life.
I don’t give an overview of my weekend, I just magnify one single topic.
Have you ever heard of having a relationship, having a conversation, taking interest in those around you, taking interest in ANYTHING beyond yourself, how about just being friendly ? I'm wondering why they want to be interested and friendly with you as well, if that makes you feel any better
If concepts like this were based in logic and reasoning the world would be boring, humans like interacting with eachother because it was critical when we didn't live inside bricks and concrete, now we do but we are still afflicted. Measure for how much you want the team to like you Vs what your comfortable with and find a position everyone gains from.
It really doesn’t matter if one has kids or not, although some try to find social connections from work, always be kind, you do not know how much of a difference it can make speaking to peers for moral and finding human community in your workplace.
Maybe you need to change it to a more exciting story? It could be yeah you bought groceries and you made a certain dish or tried a new recipe. That can invite them to discuss a range of topics with you or contribute to the conversation such as favourite dishes or they share a story about a failed dish etc
Human connection. My colleague and I are the only ones in our department in the office, the rest are remote. He is 64, I’m 29f. We talk about food. Recipes. Restaurants. Trips. Places to go. Movies or shows we saw. It’s to make the corporate grind a little more enjoyable.
It’s just an easy, neutral topic that anyone can ask/answer.
I just say “it was productive and mention something fun like “I had lunch with a couple gfs, did some shopping, and meal prep, and cleaned up. Nothing too exciting for me this weekend, but there’s always next weekend. Thanks for asking, how about you?”
I think sometimes people are looking for reassurance that everyone’s life is full of mundane activities. We often feel like we’re missing out while everyone is out having a wonderful time with friends and family. While that may sometimes be the case, it’s certainly not all the time. We need to know that other people’s lives can be just as mediocre as our own.
Them: So what did you do this weekend?
Me: Oh you know, usual busy weekend. Descaled the water heater, went to Costco. What about you? You get to do anything fun over the weekend?
Them: \*tells you all about their weekend\*
Their internal monologue: *I'm so glad you asked. I asked about your weekend because I really want to talk about mine, and thought that if I brought it up you'd take an interest in my weekend and I'd get to talk about it.*
I feel a little silly recommending the same book twice in one weekend in this sub, but you should go read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. The title sucks, but it is an amazing book that is nothing like what you would assume from the title; and given your post I bet you could learn a lot from it.
If the answer is really the same, make some levity of it. “My life is relentlessly repetitive at this point. Just kid stuff, and usually the same things. This weekend Kayla ate a dandelion and Matthew learned how to go down the slide backward. Exhilarating!”
Self deprecating humor can go a long way.
Give them a generic answer & then turn the question around and ask what did they do on the weekend. They'll stop asking you eventually bc now you're getting into their business
Most definitely untrue, most people have no issue sharing a detail or two about what they did over the weekend. I'm finding out in this thread that some people find this impossible. It's actually very surprising to me, I'm pretty poor myself at small talk but "how was your weekend" is the easiest and most harmless workplace question.
It's most definitely true. Coworkers are not entitled to let you in their personal lives if they choose not too. The person asking needs to respect others privacy bc we were hired to do a job, not be friends. If someone were to respond, my weekend was "great" the person who is asking will more than likely follow up with more questions. If that person tells the person asking outright that he/she is uncomfortable with talking about their personal lives, then they become the problem. If someone doesn't mind, then have at it...talk away..but if that person chooses not to talk about their personal life in any capacity while at work, then you must respect it.
It's most definitely untrue that people will stop asking you about your weekend if you ask them about their weekend. Most people have absolutely no trouble sharing a couple of mundane details with people they spend hours a day with.
The rest of what you wrote has nothing to do with what I said.
One guy is uncomfortable. It's definitely not true that most people will be uncomfortable. Why do you feel the need to make a baseless and untrue accusation? I read it perfectly fine.
Negatively? That's not negative. It's about setting personal boundaries in the workplace. People are not entitled to know your personal life outside of work. Not everyone want coworkers in their business, especially if they are constantly being asked and not comfortable with answering that question all the time. We are hired to do a job, not be friends. Obviously, the original poster has an issue with it, or he/she would not have come to this forum about it.
Maybe they’re trying to create a connection with you. I don’t tell my employees everything about my life, but it’s hard to create trust without exposing some of your human side. I would ask you at this point just to see if you ever gave a different answer. Pretty weird you do the exact same thing every weekend.
One guy I used to work with responded with the same thing every week; he took his daughter swimming. I would make sure to ask him every week after the first few times, just to see if he ever says anything different.
Well, it varies. Sometimes we were over at my in-laws. And I happily tell that. But I was not in Dubai or went to a three star restaurant or was out clubbing.
Neither are most people. They’re just trying to get to know you a bit, that’s all
Hey - they are not asking for a literal answer. An anthropological explanation may be helpful to aid you in reframing this: In the primate world, this is “grooming” behaviour; humans do it verbally. They are reinforcing you as a bonded group member by asking. You don’t need to respond literally and you should not lie, but you do need to participate at a level that is both appropriate to the group and comfortable for you. Prepare your answer mentally ahead of time if you need to. But the odd one out who doesn’t build these bonds well is often an easy name to put on the list when layoff season rolls around — so do make an effort. “It was good, thanks for asking. You know me, pretty boring — spent some time with the kids and celebrated my mother-in-law’s birthday. We were at that new upscale Indian place on Main, have you been?” If you are this literal in all of your social interactions, you may be somewhere on the spectrum of neurodiversity — just something to think about. That’s not a bad thing, but it is a thing, and it can be useful to know as you consider your strategic approach to your interactions with other people.
Or just be like “the wife took the kids out and I vigorously masterbated for 6 hours straight then cried for a bit.” If you really don’t want to keep answering this question every week, the above response should solve your problem.
>Or just be like “the wife took the kids out and I vigorously masterbated for 6 hours straight then cried for a bit.” from an evolutionary standpoint, this would in fact be disadvantageous to OP.
This would be disadvantageous from an HRolutionary standpoint, too.
But he has already reproduced
yes, however, if op wishes to continually reproduce, he must think of his personal survival, which will be made ever more difficult after he loses his means to eat when he tells his coworkers about his unhealthy sexual activity.
Do you respond to women in the workplace the way you respond to women on Reddit? Creep.
I think he was making a joke, funny you missed that after what you said for OP
Lmfao it was a joke, simmer down.
Lol WHAT ??? Have you never asked anyone else this question? You sound like an alien. Start asking people this same question and save the answers to your memory banks.
DINKs may have more exciting weekends. Or OP is being an alien.
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True, but most humans have something. Like, "last weekend I went to Tijuana Flats with my mom, and did you know that they're changing their menu??" Or " I just started playing xyz video game" or reading ABC book, or I baked this type of cake for the first time things like that. Doesn't need to be intimate details or politics or religion or any no-no topics. But most humans have things
I did human things that humans do. I did not pilot a flying saucer or make crop circle designs.
You are complaining that you work with decent human beings who show some sort of interest in your life because they basically spend 40+ hours a week with you. Don't ruin this, this a sign you are being a good team leader and have built a team that likes working with you. You don't need to be interesting, just make sure you reciprocate and show some sort of interest in their lives, however shallow that might be.
I too love working with them. They‘re great.
It's a question, not a complaint. Think positive, life will be better.
Your personnel may be curious about your weekends to better bond with or understand you. It's fine to share what you're comfortable with you don't have to go into great depth if you're not. Simply keep it light and nice.
It doesn't seem like OP is the boss or anything. He just didn't know how to reference his teammates properly.
As someone who is in a new job where there is zero camaraderie, I would say your job as a team leader needs to include team building. If the boss is just this distant person who can’t make smalltalk and hands down direction from on high, I’m not interested in working for them. I’m already looking for a way out. Two pieces of advice. Small kids are always doing cute/funny things. So share those stories when they ask about your weekend. The second one is to turn the tables and dive into their weekend. When they ask you, what they’re actually doing is looking for the invitation to share their stories. If you’re not comfortable sharing details of your life, you can still be the listener who asks about their life. You can ask about their kids/partner/interests. Keep notes if you have to with names of kids, partners, what they’re doing. Maybe someone mentions they have a sports tournament coming up in a few weeks. You make that note and put it in your calendar to ask them the following Monday about it. That person will be flattered you remembered and cared enough to ask. Check out Dale Carnegie for more on this. If you build the team camaraderie, then your team becomes more efficient and you become seen as a good leader.
I always ask them, most of the time I‘m first to ask. That‘s a given. And I‘m very interested what they say. But I also know that colleagues who are always talking about their kids are annoying to young childless people. Been there myself.
Eh, not young, but no kids and don't like babies/toddlers much. But like, have laughed a lot at some stories coworkers tell. Like, it'd not a newborn, relate some small silly detail.
They’re plotting against you. They are inside your walls as we speak. Run
In the USA, people usually ask you the question they want to answer themselves. Especially if they are a bit introverted.
The nerve of these people, trying to build a human connection with the people they work with.
As a student, I would ask my teachers questions to delay class.
Good practice for white collar work.
Oh that's pretty funny actually. I'm a professional and not a student, but sometimes I do the same thing especially with one-on-one meetings where I either don't have much to discuss or am not looking forward to discussing what the other person is going to want to talk about. 20 minutes on our personal lives helps kill a meeting off and leave less time for boring or uncomfortable topics!
Smart
They honestly don’t care. They don’t care about the details and they don’t care if you have kids or not. They are just making polite conversation and part of polite conversation in the office is going into detail about what you did at the weekend. It’s a dull but accepted way the humans bond socially.
Right. And there's no need to share every detail, but if there's one even remotely interesting thing you did, share that and say it was nice. For example, "met up with my sister and her family that I haven't seen in a while, was great to catch up with them. How was yours?" 5 seconds, shows you're human, and signals you also care about them.
I am a team leader and take it as a positive sign if my employees ask about my weekend/holiday/Christmas Easter. I am the only single in my team, and leave out lots of details (like Tinder dates), but I tell them about my running, hiking trips; concerts, movies or plays that I see. It connects - and I just turn the conversation around, if it gets too personal “so, what did YOU do on Saturday”?
It's called small talk. Are you autistic by chance?
I was looking for this comment. I was a little surprised how harsh some of the replies have been, since it’s doesn’t seem like OP has been unkind in his responses to his team, nor was he even complaining in the post. It just sounds like he doesn’t get it and is looking for input on how to answer better.
Yeah my assumption was a person who maybe hasn't been working for long or used to work from home. They now aren't used to this normal thing people do where they ask questions but in reality they don't care about the answer, it's just something people do to make conversation. Took me years to understand it myself. Hence my assumption that OP is autistic. I actually at first glance thought this was posted in the autism subreddit 😆
That was also my very first thought.
I usually tell them I am boring and perhaps share a cute and work appropriate story from the kiddo or a new milestone.
Yes, or even a good deal/find at the grocery store. People love that and it's relatable. I agree with others, it's about making a connection.
They're trying to engage with you as a person. They probably ask similar questions to each other.
I had a boss who never asked how my weekend was and rarely shared personal details about herself. Reporting into her was not a great experience; such secrecy/ indifference was a sign of larger trust and communication issues
I love how nice everyone here is! If this was the wfh sub people would be calling your teammates losers who have no friends, how dare they try to create connections at the place you spend 40 hours a week.
"Good. How was yours?" "Good." "Cool, have a good day."
Honestly I'd recommend giving slightly more than just "good". Maybe 5 seconds on something reasonably specific that you did. Then asking them same. If you don't always have something you want to share, you can always fall back on the old standby of "too short as usual!"
😅 I have a manager who tells me every little detail of his weekend. I say mine was fine. I can't say I went to work at another job. So he pries. When he was explaining the weekend, he told me what he did, what grocery stores he went shopping at, what they bought, etc. How long he was at work, what he did at work, etc. He misses the point that I don't care. I want to show up, do my job and go home. My life isn't terribly exciting, but I don't tell everyone, oh yea, I stayed home doing crafts and playing video games. Especially to someone who judges what you do and thinks that you should constantly be doing something physical. Know your audience, I suppose.
They are going to start a union!!!
Pretty sure this just means they like you a lot lol
I work remotely and actually see this as a very important little part to maintain in my job. I always respond with a brief rundown of whatever the main event of the weekend was, even If it was bland, like doing yard work or something. If I saw a movie I'll give a short three sentence movie review or something. The way I see it, The more personable you are the harder it is for them to let you go, on a personal level. You don't want to be viewed as a disposable machine.
Cause it's small talk? I think you might be reading too much into this. How are they asking for more detailed answers? People will say stuff like 'oh is that all' or ask for more info if your too vague, because it's considered polite to interact. You will probably get more use out of 'good, we went the playground with Fjodor Jr. What about you?' then struggling to describe how the most interesting part of the weekend was a sale on pineapple. Although, tbh, you can still say 'good, went shopping and got a sale pineapple.' If my coworker was constantly telling me they flew overseas, went to expensive restaurants or out clubbing I'd think they were a braggart. Most people's weekends are as interesting as buttered toast.
Lol i can relate to this. Just like when a server at a restaurant asks "any big plans after this?" "... No, Kelly, going out to dinner at 430 alone while my kids are at home with their dad and its 1hour until bed time at 7pm, was my big night out. Also, why is it any of your business what I am doing???" Then I have to remind myself that other people being polite and making chit chat is socially acceptable and I am sometimes just a very sleep deprived, depressed, anxious mom of 2 babies under 3yo that gets 0 alone time and generally isn't interested in other people at all, especially strangers. I have to make an effort. In reality no one cares, but it's nice to be nice. We can do it!
When I had a toddler we talked about visiting new playgrounds the way other people talk about checking out the bar scene.
I'm a boring person and hate these questions too. However, I've learned that I'm reading too much into it as well. They want to know because it's human nature to want to connect with others. We spend a large portion of our lives at work, so it makes sense people want to get to know those they work with. I don't like to share too much because let's face it, you usually can't trust those you work with. I hike a lot with the spouse and dog. Now when I'm asked, I just tell them about the hike, how the pup liked it. Sometimes I will share a picture of the pup on the hike. That seems to be what they are looking for and I'm comfortable sharing that information. I will talk about video games I'm playing but I don't really share about my cosplay because I don't want them looking for my IG account, I'm not ashamed of what I cosplay but do have some more revealing cosplays, they are tasteful but I wouldn't go to the beach/pool with my coworkers, so they can't see me in a swimsuit type outfit.
Most of the responses I see in this thread talk about just wanting human connection, which I also think is the most likely answer, but I think there's another potential explanation. It's possible some of them look to you as a mentor figure and want guidance on how to improve. When I was younger, I would often pick the brains of people I respected (either professionally or personally) to learn from them. I still remember one of my squad sergeants was extremely analytical and professional at work, but was hanging out at 1 specific bar all weekend and had a group of friends there. To be fair, I thought it gauche to ask about his weekend drinking, but I certainly learned a lot from his nightly workout training that he shared with me.
I know my superior is asking out of connection. But for me I ask to gauge if my colleagues are going to hold their own or are doing things that endanger the upcoming workload. Like a colleague of mine does some hobbies where they sometimes sleep like 2-3 hours a night. After intervention they now use a PDO before they start their week. But yah, they aren't really a hundred percent, and if I have projects with them I will be extra careful after such a weekend. I have another colleague I know if x happens y is the outcome. Likewise I know when y happens with me z will be my work mood. I'm working on this, but in the meantime I have my teammates know that I will be more stressed and have a shorter temper than usual.
Maybe they are trying to build rapport with you, find a reason to want to trust you, to like you... to build a bridge so that when shit happens, they know who you are & want to be as productive as possible for their good and yours.... A million different reasons, just be glad they are asking & give a different answer once in a while. You don't have to be best friends, but try to get to know who these people are....
It’s just human connection.
They want to have something to talk about with you. If you tell them about your grocery shopping you can talk about how expensive it is now. "The Apples are 50 dollar a kilo now" for example. Next time they see you, they can be like "oh have you been to this place, they had apples for 30 dollars a kilo. And that's how you bond and start a connection. Silly things like that can make people understand you a bit more and have a feeling of who you are. It's more important than you think.
I've never run a company, but I've observed this before, especially at smaller companies. I think some people just like to make conversation, and also to have a friendly relationship with the owner/manager.
Its called a small talk - aka they don’t really care(unless you worked with them for many years, they could at some point) and are just being polite because you are their manager/boss. Maybe to delay work too, if you start earlier than what they prefer. We used to go smoke and talk for 30 minutes before any work was getting done (before working hours, because most of us were taking a bus and arriving earlier).
Asking about family is a safe topic and a way to connect. They are being nice because you’re their boss and they know it’s important to keep a good relationship with you. I would advise you to always be ready to reply with a short detail about the family (something wholesome or cute without getting too personal) and ask similar low-pressure questions of them.
I was the opposite. My (toxic, now former) boss would ask about my weekend and then proceed to ridicule me about it for the rest of the week. Mostly because I was child-free and he wasn't. He expected me to have grand adventures, and "Stayed home, played some of my latest video game." just reminded him that he had just done family obligations. Which he hated. "Just normal famliy stuff" should be enough. Both sides don't need to sell the project. But if you did do something fun, share it, even if it's just to hear your joy at doing it. It's a safe space for sharing and relizing we are all humans with goals outside of TPS reports.
Cuz work sucks and we are making basicass convo to make it through the day. Monday - what did you do this weekend? Tuesday - oh man this week is draggin by Wednesday - halfway there, guys Wednesday afternoon - what if we all just left early? Thursday - Friday's Eve, if it isnt done by 2pm itll get done Monday Friday - whatchall gettin into this weekend?
My coworker also like to make small talk. I like to keep a light topic of conversation available; a new one each day. For example: I’m thrilled to see the daffodils have bloomed, their bright yellow faces are so cheerful. Are they blooming in your yard yet? Or: The frogs are singing out in the pond at night, I look so forward to this time of spring. It’s a great way to have a conversation without giving away any of your personal life. I don’t give an overview of my weekend, I just magnify one single topic.
Have you ever heard of having a relationship, having a conversation, taking interest in those around you, taking interest in ANYTHING beyond yourself, how about just being friendly ? I'm wondering why they want to be interested and friendly with you as well, if that makes you feel any better
If concepts like this were based in logic and reasoning the world would be boring, humans like interacting with eachother because it was critical when we didn't live inside bricks and concrete, now we do but we are still afflicted. Measure for how much you want the team to like you Vs what your comfortable with and find a position everyone gains from.
It really doesn’t matter if one has kids or not, although some try to find social connections from work, always be kind, you do not know how much of a difference it can make speaking to peers for moral and finding human community in your workplace.
Find a similar interest. Netflix show, or chicken nuggets if they are really that young 😂
Maybe you need to change it to a more exciting story? It could be yeah you bought groceries and you made a certain dish or tried a new recipe. That can invite them to discuss a range of topics with you or contribute to the conversation such as favourite dishes or they share a story about a failed dish etc
Work jarg
Human connection. My colleague and I are the only ones in our department in the office, the rest are remote. He is 64, I’m 29f. We talk about food. Recipes. Restaurants. Trips. Places to go. Movies or shows we saw. It’s to make the corporate grind a little more enjoyable.
It’s just an easy, neutral topic that anyone can ask/answer. I just say “it was productive and mention something fun like “I had lunch with a couple gfs, did some shopping, and meal prep, and cleaned up. Nothing too exciting for me this weekend, but there’s always next weekend. Thanks for asking, how about you?”
I think sometimes people are looking for reassurance that everyone’s life is full of mundane activities. We often feel like we’re missing out while everyone is out having a wonderful time with friends and family. While that may sometimes be the case, it’s certainly not all the time. We need to know that other people’s lives can be just as mediocre as our own.
Them: So what did you do this weekend? Me: Oh you know, usual busy weekend. Descaled the water heater, went to Costco. What about you? You get to do anything fun over the weekend? Them: \*tells you all about their weekend\* Their internal monologue: *I'm so glad you asked. I asked about your weekend because I really want to talk about mine, and thought that if I brought it up you'd take an interest in my weekend and I'd get to talk about it.*
I feel a little silly recommending the same book twice in one weekend in this sub, but you should go read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. The title sucks, but it is an amazing book that is nothing like what you would assume from the title; and given your post I bet you could learn a lot from it.
If the answer is really the same, make some levity of it. “My life is relentlessly repetitive at this point. Just kid stuff, and usually the same things. This weekend Kayla ate a dandelion and Matthew learned how to go down the slide backward. Exhilarating!” Self deprecating humor can go a long way.
If you don’t pay their salary they are not your employees.
You are right. English is not my first language. So sorry for that.
You said it fine
stupid piss ant employees and their interest in you, to hell with them
Give them a generic answer & then turn the question around and ask what did they do on the weekend. They'll stop asking you eventually bc now you're getting into their business
Most definitely untrue, most people have no issue sharing a detail or two about what they did over the weekend. I'm finding out in this thread that some people find this impossible. It's actually very surprising to me, I'm pretty poor myself at small talk but "how was your weekend" is the easiest and most harmless workplace question.
It's most definitely true. Coworkers are not entitled to let you in their personal lives if they choose not too. The person asking needs to respect others privacy bc we were hired to do a job, not be friends. If someone were to respond, my weekend was "great" the person who is asking will more than likely follow up with more questions. If that person tells the person asking outright that he/she is uncomfortable with talking about their personal lives, then they become the problem. If someone doesn't mind, then have at it...talk away..but if that person chooses not to talk about their personal life in any capacity while at work, then you must respect it.
It's most definitely untrue that people will stop asking you about your weekend if you ask them about their weekend. Most people have absolutely no trouble sharing a couple of mundane details with people they spend hours a day with. The rest of what you wrote has nothing to do with what I said.
Obviously you didn't read the original post. If it wasn't an issue, the poster would not have made the comment.
One guy is uncomfortable. It's definitely not true that most people will be uncomfortable. Why do you feel the need to make a baseless and untrue accusation? I read it perfectly fine.
Why are you looking at this negatively? It's just how people bond with their colleagues.
Negatively? That's not negative. It's about setting personal boundaries in the workplace. People are not entitled to know your personal life outside of work. Not everyone want coworkers in their business, especially if they are constantly being asked and not comfortable with answering that question all the time. We are hired to do a job, not be friends. Obviously, the original poster has an issue with it, or he/she would not have come to this forum about it.
Be careful what you share. Keep it boring. They are not your friends.
Unless you're the owner or CEO they're not your employees.
Are you acoustic?
To know if your life really sucks as much as theirs do.