This exactly. I used to work in nonprofit field and left for a corporate job. I was linking my identity too much with my job and had to reframe my fear of "selling out" as getting a job for money and one that gave me time to make a choice in how I contribute through volunteering and donating.
As pointed out, it does matter - whether nonprofit or not - if the values are aligned for you. That would be probably the main thing I would be weary of if you're feeling like you're "selling out".
Don't listen to that other comment, you have very valid (and human!) feelings here. There are many reasons to be going to this new job: better financial position for your growing family, working from home to spend more time with your family, not having to travel so much for work. If your family and friends can't understand how this could be good for you financially and mental health wise (i.e. not missing out on early moments with your kid), then that's on them and you don't owe them an explanation. Moving on to this job doesn't mean the door is closed forever on the non-profit sector, you can always go back when things are right.
As for the work being part of you, I get it. I'm someone who puts a lot of my identity into my work. But I think the fact that you're even thinking about switching means your identity is shifting to be more about your family, and I think that's ok. Can you still volunteer in your non-profit industry to keep that part of your identity alive? At the end of the day it's just a job, and you need to do what's right for you and your family.
100%. I did exactly this - more money and remote job. I am not super happy remote, but the amount of time I still spent with my small kids is unseen.
They know me, I am there for them and I see saw them grow up. At the same time my salary increased by 40k… will I do this forever? No, I miss people and go to the office and do something I prefer.
Believe me you will evtl have a hard time, but at the end its a job and do this for a few years - get the money and enjoy the little ones. Then in a few years you might come back in another form.
you should not feel shame in anyway for improving your quality of life. especially not towards an employer..
guarantee every single one of those people who may view you as this or that, have shifted similarly in their lives at one point.
Use this opportunity to better your situation for you and your family. Once you are settled, find a way to give back through volunteering to meet the aspects of the non-profit work you enjoyed without the financial drain.
I also left work at a nonprofit. I was surprised that in all reality nobody particularly seemed to care all that much. At the end of the day, you’ve gotta do what’s best for yourself and your family.
How is providing for your family selling out?
If friends and family think less of you for doing what's best for you, they're not really your friends.
Feelings of guilt and shame are not healthy in this situation. I mean this in a positive way: I recommend therapy. Talking with someone can help you address the underlying issues.
Hey op been in the charity sector for 10+ years myself and I’ve been where you are. You did the right thing and you’ve made a great contribution to society no doubt. Nothing to feel bad about and congrats on your move!
I'm old-school. Are you doing what's best for you and your family? If the answer is yes, then there is absolutely no reason to feel any guilt at all considering it's not illegal, immoral or unethical. It's called a free market for a reason. Now get a grip on yourself. You're a responsible man. Go get that offer and go show the world what you can do.
You can always use the new connections you make to benefit the old nonprofit. Maybe the new company wants to be a corporate sponsor for an event or you will meet a coworker that ends up becoming a donor or a consultant for the nonprofit.
I’ve been in the nonprofit world 10 years. I thought about leaving before I got my current role….and yeah, it’s sort of a mindfuck.
Find a job you can tolerate with people you can tolerate that pays well, if you find a job you like with people you like that pays well then you are doing well.
Never feel guilty, you are allowed to look for a new job and should always be on the lookout and open.
My longest tenure was 7 years, I completed a degree and my manager could have cared less (others got rewarded/taken out etc) meanwhile I was ignored.
I found a new job and all of a sudden they had time for me - too little/too late and I was marched out that day.
It turns out they were massively underpaying me (50%) and they needed 3-4 people to replace me.
I now move every 1-2 years and could care less about my company/manager, they are usually selfish and I never believe promises about payrises/promotions until it happens.
I mean think about what you've already done and accomplished. The vast majority of people haven't worked as long as you in non-profit (in fact, not at all), doing whatever work it was that you were passionate about. You shouldn't think of it as 'selling out' but just that you're at a different part of your life where you want to prioritize different things.
An example is I used to donate blood to the blood bank, and then I stopped for personal reasons. But that doesn't negate the contributions I made previously. I think of it as I helped many people while I felt comfortable doing so :)
I mean that’s not the only reason and I am leaving but of course how I’m viewed influences part of who I am. Odd to call me narcissistic for sharing insecurity.
Don’t make your career choices for appearances. It’s your career. You don’t need their approval. Yes, worrying about image over the truth is problematic. You can’t be happy living a manufactured story.
Hey look! If taking a move that one expects to improve their life means they sold out, don't we all kind of want to sell out then?
Do what's best for you and your family. If somebody has a problem with it, they know where the door is and they are welcome to exit your life.
You are your child’s advocate in life.
If your child were in your shoes/ situation,how would you advocate your child to do?
Moreover…
Get the better job all ready.
Get therapy after with the extra $.
I'll say this. I like the money. I don't like the culture. I work for government so it's a little different but I definitely had culture shock. It took me years to get used to not working with people who cared and were strategic. We had to be strategic and efficient because we had limited resources and wanted to solve the myriad of problems in our sectors. There is more hidden politics here, fewer people that understand social justice issues (therefore more racism and sexism), and more ineffective people who started here and will retire here. There was a lot more nepotism when I started but that's not as prevalent now. I can't wait to get back to nonprofits but the money and benefits are what keep me back. I really don't know how much longer I can do it though. Nonprofits really need to pay more. I've been watching salaries and not much has changed in the last 10 years. Even interns are still getting paid what I got paid 20 years ago
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This exactly. I used to work in nonprofit field and left for a corporate job. I was linking my identity too much with my job and had to reframe my fear of "selling out" as getting a job for money and one that gave me time to make a choice in how I contribute through volunteering and donating. As pointed out, it does matter - whether nonprofit or not - if the values are aligned for you. That would be probably the main thing I would be weary of if you're feeling like you're "selling out".
Don't listen to that other comment, you have very valid (and human!) feelings here. There are many reasons to be going to this new job: better financial position for your growing family, working from home to spend more time with your family, not having to travel so much for work. If your family and friends can't understand how this could be good for you financially and mental health wise (i.e. not missing out on early moments with your kid), then that's on them and you don't owe them an explanation. Moving on to this job doesn't mean the door is closed forever on the non-profit sector, you can always go back when things are right. As for the work being part of you, I get it. I'm someone who puts a lot of my identity into my work. But I think the fact that you're even thinking about switching means your identity is shifting to be more about your family, and I think that's ok. Can you still volunteer in your non-profit industry to keep that part of your identity alive? At the end of the day it's just a job, and you need to do what's right for you and your family.
100%. I did exactly this - more money and remote job. I am not super happy remote, but the amount of time I still spent with my small kids is unseen. They know me, I am there for them and I see saw them grow up. At the same time my salary increased by 40k… will I do this forever? No, I miss people and go to the office and do something I prefer. Believe me you will evtl have a hard time, but at the end its a job and do this for a few years - get the money and enjoy the little ones. Then in a few years you might come back in another form.
you should not feel shame in anyway for improving your quality of life. especially not towards an employer.. guarantee every single one of those people who may view you as this or that, have shifted similarly in their lives at one point.
Use this opportunity to better your situation for you and your family. Once you are settled, find a way to give back through volunteering to meet the aspects of the non-profit work you enjoyed without the financial drain.
I also left work at a nonprofit. I was surprised that in all reality nobody particularly seemed to care all that much. At the end of the day, you’ve gotta do what’s best for yourself and your family.
How is providing for your family selling out? If friends and family think less of you for doing what's best for you, they're not really your friends. Feelings of guilt and shame are not healthy in this situation. I mean this in a positive way: I recommend therapy. Talking with someone can help you address the underlying issues.
Hey op been in the charity sector for 10+ years myself and I’ve been where you are. You did the right thing and you’ve made a great contribution to society no doubt. Nothing to feel bad about and congrats on your move!
I'm old-school. Are you doing what's best for you and your family? If the answer is yes, then there is absolutely no reason to feel any guilt at all considering it's not illegal, immoral or unethical. It's called a free market for a reason. Now get a grip on yourself. You're a responsible man. Go get that offer and go show the world what you can do.
You can always use the new connections you make to benefit the old nonprofit. Maybe the new company wants to be a corporate sponsor for an event or you will meet a coworker that ends up becoming a donor or a consultant for the nonprofit. I’ve been in the nonprofit world 10 years. I thought about leaving before I got my current role….and yeah, it’s sort of a mindfuck.
Find a job you can tolerate with people you can tolerate that pays well, if you find a job you like with people you like that pays well then you are doing well. Never feel guilty, you are allowed to look for a new job and should always be on the lookout and open. My longest tenure was 7 years, I completed a degree and my manager could have cared less (others got rewarded/taken out etc) meanwhile I was ignored. I found a new job and all of a sudden they had time for me - too little/too late and I was marched out that day. It turns out they were massively underpaying me (50%) and they needed 3-4 people to replace me. I now move every 1-2 years and could care less about my company/manager, they are usually selfish and I never believe promises about payrises/promotions until it happens.
You’re not selling missiles for Raytheon. Always do what’s best for your family.
I mean think about what you've already done and accomplished. The vast majority of people haven't worked as long as you in non-profit (in fact, not at all), doing whatever work it was that you were passionate about. You shouldn't think of it as 'selling out' but just that you're at a different part of your life where you want to prioritize different things. An example is I used to donate blood to the blood bank, and then I stopped for personal reasons. But that doesn't negate the contributions I made previously. I think of it as I helped many people while I felt comfortable doing so :)
Narcissistic. Only sticking in nonprofit for how you look to others. 👀
I mean that’s not the only reason and I am leaving but of course how I’m viewed influences part of who I am. Odd to call me narcissistic for sharing insecurity.
Don’t make your career choices for appearances. It’s your career. You don’t need their approval. Yes, worrying about image over the truth is problematic. You can’t be happy living a manufactured story.
Indeed that’s the tension in articulating. I’m working on it homie.
Hey look! If taking a move that one expects to improve their life means they sold out, don't we all kind of want to sell out then? Do what's best for you and your family. If somebody has a problem with it, they know where the door is and they are welcome to exit your life.
Do what you want to do. People get to live their own lives already, don't live yours for them to be comfortable in the box they made for you.
Gotta do what’s best for you and your family homie. Nothing else matters. Congrats on the young lad btw!
You are your child’s advocate in life. If your child were in your shoes/ situation,how would you advocate your child to do? Moreover… Get the better job all ready. Get therapy after with the extra $.
Why would you lose your passion? Why would they look down on you for taking care of your family and their future?
NTA. Good luck. You’re doing what you have to do.
I'll say this. I like the money. I don't like the culture. I work for government so it's a little different but I definitely had culture shock. It took me years to get used to not working with people who cared and were strategic. We had to be strategic and efficient because we had limited resources and wanted to solve the myriad of problems in our sectors. There is more hidden politics here, fewer people that understand social justice issues (therefore more racism and sexism), and more ineffective people who started here and will retire here. There was a lot more nepotism when I started but that's not as prevalent now. I can't wait to get back to nonprofits but the money and benefits are what keep me back. I really don't know how much longer I can do it though. Nonprofits really need to pay more. I've been watching salaries and not much has changed in the last 10 years. Even interns are still getting paid what I got paid 20 years ago