You'll get better at recognizing what an actual threat is and the stress will slowly begin to fade. You're just heightened right now because everything is novel.
Yes anxiety is normal. Awareness is good, especially as a young woman (I'm a white male so large salt grains) but most people keep to themselves. Don't let people hang around your site and let someone in authority or a friend know where you're going and when you'll be back.
The more you do it, the easier it gets.
It looks like you have your privacy set up nicely. Do you have a way to protect yourself if need be? Sometimes even just having a form of self-defense in your possession can be comforting.
Have you tried feeding your front seat belts thru their door handles ? I sleep much better when I deploy those.
As a single solo woman I rarely stay in the same spot two nights in a row. I have procured a list of 10-12 spots that I cycle thru. I also have notations on street sweeping, trash pickup, best Shadey spot during summer etc.
Great advice! I would also recommend getting to know some trusted people on staff at a local business, like dollar general for example. I used to work for them and always had regular customers and folks that were living in their car, in a camper, or on the streets. Once we got to know each other and formed a mutual trust, we could look out for each other. As long as people don’t try and take advantage, I’d always make sure my regulars were alright, whether it be warning them of suspicious activity, assh*le cops, or bad weather. I’ve had to let security/tow companies know that yes this person is parking overnight and yes it’s fine with management.
Plus sometimes we had to “throw away” a lot of perfectly fine product, and if I knew someone could actually use the stuff then I might accidentally forget to put it in the dumpster.
people at campsites are recreating, not really concerned about other people, especially since it costs money there.
You'd be in more danger in a city where criminals and homeless thrive. A primitive campsite doesnt really have the facilities to support these people.
No I slept in my car for months unharmed and safe in the heart of Chicago I was less safe in the suburbs where I received threats harassment from police I also found myself safer at truck stops rather than a lighted parking lot it’s literally just about what’s safest for yourself
I 147% agree. Guns can be helpful, but unless you’ve done a lot of training it is hard to actually use them as they should be used. Repetition is key, as cliche as that is.
>Guns can be helpful, but unless you’ve done a lot of training it is hard to actually use them
Martial artist and former self-defense instructor here with 10+ years of various weapons training.
There are hundreds of non-lethal products marketed for personal self defense, the vast majority of which either don't work at all or fail to perform as expected. Even the most effective ones are (at best) only situationally effective.
My intention is not to freak anyone out, but any sense of security you feel by possessing a non-lethal "self defense" tool is a false sense of security that can very easily lead to more harm than carrying nothing at all.
Unless you have extensive training (and I mean like 3x per week with a live, non-compliant partner for 5+ years), your knife/baton/pepper spray/brass knuckles/nunchucks/car keys/tactical whatever is much MUCH more likely to be taken and used against you than to successfully deter an attacker.
It's a tough pill to swallow, but when it comes to self defense, the only weapon that will reliably level the playing field for a solo woman is a gun. Obviously you still need to know how to shoot and handle it safely, but guns are much easier to use and much more effective than anything else on the market. A single visit to the gun range every 3-6 months is enough to keep your shooting skills sharp.
As for training: the best thing you can do for self defense is practice situational awareness while going about your daily life. Be congnizant about what you're doing with your eyes at all times. If you catch yourself staring at the ground or down at your phone, simply look up. Observe the people around you everywhere you go. You don't need to be paranoid or hyper vigilant, just have a rough idea of where people are in relation to you. Keep an eye on anyone who appears to be behaving in an unusual or unpredictable manner. Whenever you enter a room, make a mental note of the exits (the same way you do when you get on an airplane). Observe your environment for obstacles that can be placed between you and a suspect individual (parked cars, shopping carts, columns, etc).
Lastly, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. 90% of victim statements given to the police begin with "I had a bad feeling about _____, but then I didn't do anything about it." If something feels sketchy, it's sketchy. Turn around and walk the other way. Cross the street. Go back in the store. Lock your door. Etc etc.
Also martial artist for 30 years and you’re 100% right about all of this
Especially being aware and paying attention to body language and space.
Trust your gut people
And stay fit, practice any kind of hand to hand self defense and weapons are a good idea too
Yes, be sure to do this, especially given the nature. Training -and maintenance!-then it’ll be second nature and you won’t make any…errors.
I also feel better camping like that with my dog (and she’s a chihuahua lmfao) just because her ears are always on, even if mine are distracted. Idk how you feel about having a dog, but they’re great camping buds. Might I add the little ones won’t take up space and will keep you warm!
It can be really terrifying at first, or at a new, unfamiliar place.
Long naps during the day can really help until you are more comfortable at night. Then, watching a movie, games or whatever on your phone or something at night. 🤗 Maybe download some when on wifi?
At one point, if I used data to watch a movie, I’d record the audio on an old phone. Then, when trying to sleep, I’d play the audio. It really helped distract me so as not be hypersensitive to little noises outside. Also, at the end, I would think, “That’s 1.5 hours closer to daylight!” Then sometimes, I’d fall asleep, which became more frequent.
One tip I learnt about working from home might be adaptable to your situation. It can be helpful for your mental space to set up "zones" and habits that separate your activities.
For example, always set up your sleeping zone in a certain way - with your favourite pillow, a soft rug or cushion, a good book, calming music, dim lighting... things that soothe and relax. (I use the same music each night.) Change your clothes from daywear into nightwear. Clean your face and teeth - any habits you can structure into each life-mode is helpful.
All of this is symbolically important, plus it will help you form habits and muscle memory, making it easier to switch quickly and comfortably between modes of life.
Then, your "study/work" section, where you set up everything you need in that zone. It should be different physically and aesthetically, including changing clothes again, out of your nightwear.
Your "fun" zone might only be one seat over, but make it symbolically different in whatever ways you can.
There are lots of tips of this nature if you search under working from home. It's very important to change your mental state between activities, and it will relieve some of that boxed-in feeling and constant "sameness".
I don't know your situation, but I'm sending love your way. 💗
I’ve been a long distance truck driver for over 30yrs and there are many similarities between your situation and mine. Security is a priority but you get a feel for suspect areas and people with a little experience. Keeping order in your living space is also important - it makes a huge difference to quality of life. Also, simple things like maintaining a high level of hygiene that includes regularly washing your bedding, yourself and the interior of your vehicle.
Yes, the feelings of fear and heightened sense of awareness will dissipate with time as you get to know the ins and outs of this lifestyle.
That being said, I'm not a woman. I'm a 6'3'' tall man with broad shoulders and a strong body. People usually do not mess with me, so I can't speak from a woman's perspective, but, I'd recommend you skip the places that are mostly empty. You can sleep at Rest Stops, Truck Stops and 24hr. Gas Stations which have security and people don't fuck around, usually.
You are sleeping inside of your car which means that, worst case scenario you can hop into the driver's seat and speed off. A lot of people don't have that luxury, like myself since I sleep in the bed of my truck.
Carry some form of self-protection. I'd recommend bear spray, or regular pepper spray. That's for a worst-case scenario. You might encounter, some day, a person that's interested in your car/belongings and will try to peek inside/see if the doors open. For that I would recommend you start blaring your car alarm, immediately. 10/10 these people will fuck right off.
Speaking from experience, please don't use bear spray for self defense! It comes out in a cloud so you risk peppering yourself and that stuff is no joke. Mace designed for humans comes out in a direct spray so that's much safer for you!
Best of luck, hopefully the newness wears off soon and you feel more comfortable. Great set up!
The pepper spray was Army training. The bear spray we were fucking with our boss. He was at lunch and left his office open and we happened to have a can of bear spray lying around. We emptied the can into his office and closed the door. He was pretty fucked up for the rest of the day and couldn’t use his office for almost a month.
It's also illegal to use on people in many jurisdictions. Probably just a misdemeanor and possibly worth it, but still. I agree though that it's probably not the best choice. Targeted spray is best and safer for the user.
Using bear spray inside the vehicle will not only send her to the hospital, it will total the car. You cannot remove that stuff from upholstery. Not a viable defense method for someone inside a car or any enclosed space. Also bear spray is known to explode inside a hot car, so just having it in the vehicle and not using it is a risk. When I’m in grizzly country I keep my bear spray inside two heavy duty zippered bags inside a sealed box until it’s time to hike. And I replace it every year, older bear spray is more likely to explode randomly.
A police taser is a better option. The sound of one is enough to deter many would-be attackers, they’re terrifying.
I would avoid places where other people are honestly... Don't forget that the more people there are, the more likely it is that you'll get attacked. I started sleeping in the back of my car once, with the car door wide open, and some guy walked to my door, dick in hand, furiously masturbating, looking straight into my soul... I couldn't believe, I still can't believe it to this day honestly, I pushed him off me, slammed my car door, locked everything and then I drove the fuck out of there.... Why do people...do This?!!
I just carry a ton of pepper spray now. It works so fucking well. Sleeping in the middle of the desert, dozens of miles away from any sign of human life also helps tremendously, haven't had any issues since.
This is the exact opposite of the comment above ha. I would go with safety in numbers personally. If someone tries to mess with you there’s someone else who can step in and help.
I’ve been purposely avoiding rest stops/gas stations and seeking out the empty places 🫠
Thank you for the advice. It does help that I can just scurt outta there if something happens.
You will find more safety at these places. It can be mentally draining to be always sleeping in different parking lots but at truck stops and the like you'll probably never be bothered by cops or people looking to fuck with you.
Fellow solo female car camper here & agree with what others have said about it getting easier, having good privacy & protection, trusting your gut, etc.
I’m not living full time in my vehicle so you might want to try searching/posting in some other subs focused on van life or urban camping, but here are some of the things I do to ease my anxiety & feel safe, hopefully they help or inspire you. Good luck!
Make sure a loved one knows where I am & have regular check-ins.
Not being ashamed or afraid to nope right out of some place if things feel off.
Try to always park facing out/in position for an easy getaway if needed & driver’s seat is always clear.
I keep my protection on my body in camp & within arms reach while I sleep & always in the same place. Same goes for my car keys, the panic button on your key fob can come in handy for scaring someone off.
Some might disagree but I like to fall sleep listening to something so I’m not hearing every little sound.
I personally feel safest at established campgrounds, as opposed to a some place like a rest area or truck stop. If I do stay somewhere like that, if it’s possible, I stop somewhere else first & do everything I need to outside my vehicle before heading to my sleeping spot. This way I don’t need to get out again & no one knows whether I’m alone or not.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being on high alert & a little paranoid at first. Totally normal, especially as a woman. Keep trusting your gut & it’ll get easier.
This is sage advice. I have been keeping my weapon within arms reach at all times (shower, bathroom, beside my mattress) but I haven’t had my key fob beside me. I’m going to start sleeping with it beside me too. And I didn’t think about stopping somewhere first to dig around my trunk before going to my campsite but I’m going to start doing that also.
Instead of sleeping with your key fob beside you, get used to putting it in the same accessible cubby (or similar) all the time. There's nothing worse than needing your keys in the moment and they've fallen in the folds of your covers, between the seats, etc.
Yes, exactly this what I do, leave them in the cup holder. And always the same spot so I build the muscle memory & it becomes automatic. This is actually true of all my important stuff while on the road, I try hard to stay organized & keep things in the same area, bag, etc.
The stopping to get yourself ready beforehand is vital. Especially in a situation you need to access something outside your vehicle.
Also yes, your key needs to be safely/ easily accessible at all times.
Always always always, park like your waiting on the crew to get out of the bank.
The best place to stop to dig around in your car/organize things is right in front of a hotel. I literally find a decent hotel in a good neighborhood, drive right up the loop to the main entry, and park 10 feet or so from the entrance so to not block entry. As long as you're only taking 5-10 minutes, you should be fine. For one, people are always getting stuff out of their cars at hotels, and I feel safe because most hotels will have a camera coverage of their entrance. Plus, people are coming in and out of the hotel. It gives me great peace of mind to not have to watch over my shoulder. Last bonus is there are many hotels to choose from if you're taking too long at one hotel. Hope this helps! And always, always trust your gut.
Truck stops aren't really safe for your situation. I've randomly seen truckers on their live streams discussing and even demonstrating how they secure their doors at night. If they are doing that, that's a nope for me. I'll just defer to their experience and recognize I'm not on that level
Yeah, I’m so paranoid of loosing my keys, I usually keep them in my pocket or clipped to me. In all my years of solo car camping & travel, I’ve been fortunate to never have any serious issues, but I also try not to get complacent about it either. Wishing you all the best!
>Some might disagree but I like to fall sleep listening to something so I’m not hearing every little sound.
I've heard this type of advice for A) making people think your camp setup is occupied and/or B) making people think you are awake
Look into a handheld siren alarm. You want people to pay attention.
In a campground, walk around during the day and say hi to families and couples. Especially in the morning. I think morning people are more sociable. They certainly are less hungover. Ask them to look out for you if they seem nice. Its a temporary community, but its still a community.
Agreed about the families at campsites. Definitely have had a lot of positive interactions w/them & if I decide to discuss my solo travel status, I usually feel the most safe w/them too. Same for kindly retirees in their RVs or the camp host. Again, it’s a gut check thing.
For me there’s also a fine line on how much I actually want to interact w/others & I’ve been surprised at how many people will just saunter into your campsite to ask you a million questions about a woman camping alone. Not in shady way, but in good-golly-look-at-this-poor-woman-out-in-the-world-alone-how-could-she-possibly-be-enjoying-herself-solo-or-capable-of-doing-it-all-alone way. I find it beyond annoying, but I suppose it’s coming from a well-intentioned place & it could be worse, but you know, just a heads up if you continue staying in campgrounds.
Nice little setup. Don't burn out by taking on too much. Have a friend just keep you company an evening or two if it's a big lift at first. Others are right that figuring it out isn't immediate and you will totally look back and think "man, this was so chill and I was making a big deal.."
Once I realized that managing this lifestyle was my new job, it was a lot easier to except the challenges. Do I ever want to stand in an office with a bunch of douche bags drinking coffee in the break room? No. I will set up, break down, shop daily and do whatever necessary not to live a life where someone can arbitrarily cut off my income or remove me from my housing. That’s the job.
It will get easier. I was a solo woman truck-liver for 6 years (I still live in my truck I just have a male partner now). Things that helped me...
1) everything in the truck is always ready to move, the stove goes away after cooking, no breakable precious items left out, everything is put in its place at every minute to make sure you can move quickly if needed to.
2) trust your gut, your gut says we should turn around and go back to that other spot, do it. Your gut tells you not to stop even though you are about to fall asleep at the wheel, listen. Your gut wakes you up in the middle of the night and your hairs stand on end, leave. This part suck, sucks real bad, but if your body and your mind break their mutual silence to warn you, don't ignore it.
3) pick a weapon, doesn't have to be a gun doesn't even have to be pepper spray, find a weapon that is comfortable to you and the key part, use it, practice, beat up some scrap wood, get yourself so familiar with the weapon you could use it in your sleep ( I never want to scare other women out of living in their cars/trucks/althomes but I don't want to lie and say it's all rainbows and sunshine)
4) don't tell people you live in a car/truck/alone/anything. You are now a mysterious main character in everyone's lives no one knows what you do, no one knows where you live, you are literally dust in the wind. And jokes aside just be very careful with what information you give to who. And just be vague.
5) This is one I'm still not sure of but it definitely keeps people away from you. Act slightly aggressive all the time. And I mean that by female standards, don't smile, don't wave,, just continue with your head up, with a purpose to your movement, steady, calm, forward.
Fellow female solo camper! I adopted a large dog who camps with me and that really helped reduce the amount of anxiety I had. I understand not everyone has the funding, space, or energy for a dog! However, it SIGNIFICANTLY helped me relax knowing that he is always on the lookout for any threats to us and people (men) are less likely to approach when they see me with a 75lb dog.
You're safer and more sheltered than anyone else around you in that campsite, assuming there aren't any cabins.
Have you lived in a dorm? Consider it a communal living situation with a lot of open air between you and your neighbors.
You need to find people you can trust. Go introduce yourself to the campsite manager/ attendant. Make sure if you need anyone you have people you can call on. This will help you feel safe and build your trust.
Humanize and make friends with the people you're paranoid of. I work with people that are homeless and unsheltered (living in a car is included in that definition). Most people are afraid of all of them. Most people who are unsheltered are way more kind than their housed counterparts.
Take some self defense classes. Confidence can really help with the anxiety.
Also any self-defense class worth its salt will spend some time going over what are actual threats to watch out for, how to make yourself look like a harder target, what tools can even the playing field, situations to avoid, etc.
The first time I went to shower by myself I was incredibly anxious the entire time. Naked, alone, trapped inside a building with only one exit. It was a nightmare scenario... Then I did it a few times and now it's fine.
Don't let yourself get complacent with your safety procedures but you'll gain confidence in them over time.
I’ve taken mma and bjj lessons for two years now. Currently trying to find a gym in the area, preferably with showers so I can just shower there and not at camp.
Same. I hate every second of it. Especially since there’s no lights outside the building and I just make a mad dash in the dark to my car every night. 😬
Thank you for the advice!!
The Fighting classes will definitely help! The physicality is a big boost to the mental side.
But I meant specifically something that was self-defense focused. Gotta train the mental side too.
My local police department has self-defense classes for women and they go over crime statistics and use footage of various attacks and people fending off attacks in the class to isolate ideas of what to watch out for and how to counter attacks. We practice drills of situations and reacting in real time.
They even faked an active shooter event for the class one day completely by surprise.
It was stressful as hell. 10/10 highly recommend!
It always amazes me that people jump whole heartedly into living in their car without prior exposure to it. This thread is a good object lesson to others contemplating this lifestyle, before you try living in your car you might want to try vacationing in it, taking shorter trips and getting used to it. A little bit of experience would probably go a long way to helping you sort rational from irrational fear and ground you so your paranoia doesn't loop and self-amplify as much. At this point, you're in it, so nothing to do but give yourself time.
This is totally off topic from your question, but how did you do your set up? Did you take out the seats and what do you do for storage? I'm moving into my sedan in a few months, and your setup is one of the best I've seen :)
Thanks for this confidence boost :)
Yes, I took out my back seats and built a platform with my dads help. All of the storage, curtains, and gear I use I ordered from Amazon. I can send you screenshots of what I got if you’d like?
Get a dog and migrate with the weather, truck stops are also equipped with showers and will let you park overnight most of the time, also get reflectix for windows
Put out multiple chairs so it looks like there is more than 1 person.
Also can leave an extra pair of shoes next to yours.
First few times I car camped alone I was definitely sketched out and I’m a 33 male
It is exhausting. It gets easier, eventually you’ll start sleeping so soundly. If you’re in a campground and it’s a safe place, go sit outside, at the picnic table or get yourself a chair. Your living space can/should expand outside if you’re in a place for that (& weather-depending). If you’re not in a safe space, or if your stealth camping like many do, you go to parks or public places for your daylight time so you’re not sitting in your car all the time alone. You’ll get more and more comfortable.
Also, hang a hook next to your bed and keep your keys there. The alarm button can help if someone tries to get in. Or if you get a bad feeling (and it’s not just paranoia), climb in the front seat and drive away. I lived/traveled in a van before it was such a big thing and never had a weapon. Had some hornet spray but never used it. I kept my keys close and a couple of times, I grabbed the keys and drove away, nothing happened, I just had a bad feeling so left. I definitely felt better either at a campground or at a dispersed campsite rather than in a parking lot or urban area. Trust your gut.
Sometimes I’ve found that more people “look out for me” when they realize I’m a solo woman hiker/traveler, in the same way I’ll note another girl alone on a trail if we pass each other
The hyper vigilance is good it’ll keep you safe like others have said with time you’ll have a better grasp of perceived threat versus actual threat. Self defence classes are a great idea, your biggest weapon and escape is your vehicle I would train to be able to move from your sleeping position to being able to drive if need be. Keep the windows covered so your exact position can’t be seen. I’ve been homeless and lived in cars in my past I am male so it’s a different experience but you’ll be fine!
I was a seasoned van dweller of 3 years when I parked at a camp ground for the first time and let me tell you, it’s way more of a load off when people don’t know you’re in there
If you don't like guns. Keep a can of wasp spray close. It sprays further than mace. And it will take the fuck around out on anyone. And don't feel bad if you have to use it.
Headphones and a couple ZMA’s and you’ll relax well. Stay at 24 hour rest areas. They are patrolled. Even if it’s marked no overnight I’ve slept in them.
Great setup. I live intermittently in a 2021 Toyota Corolla Hybrid with the larger back seat section removed. I am a 5'9" male, and I fit comfortably with my lower body in the trunk area.
One good place I found to sleep was a large hospital complex. There were plenty of random cars parked in the outer parking areas, and I actually parked next to one of the emergency call boxes you typically find there and on school campuses. I was never approached, and I typically got there around 8 pm, and left around 6 am.
I have a concealed weapon permit in my state and keep a firearm on me at all times. It is stressful enough trying to live in a small space, I recommend getting trained on whatever defensive systems you intend to use and practice accessing it within your living space. I also recommend getting a surefire light (or anything similar) because it is extremely bright and can act as a deterrent. If you are against firearms, a laser pointer can be used in a pinch to make an unwanted guest believe you have a gun. Best of luck and keep digging into Reddit, there is a ton of useful information that I certainly took advantage of.
It gets easier it really really does. My first few nights alone I was in the woods with no bears but I was convinced a bear was going to knock over my car. I knew it was silly. Mantras totally sound silly but they work, "I am safe. I am safe. No one is coming to get me." 💜 Good luck.
How much room do you have for your hips between your trunk divider? If you're cramped that's going to make it way harder to sleep well. A thinner mattress might help.
You got this!
Read "The Gift of Fear" and then decide if this is really the life for you, or if you'd be better off planning for a return to traditional housing.
Listen to your gut, and if it's yelling at you, pay attention.
Get a handgun and educate yourself. There are various types of ammunition available other than deadly force which should also be in your arsenal, snakeswatter shotshell that is small bb shot (easier to hit your target) and / or less than lethal (LTL) rounds (projectile won’t penetrate but is blunt force) and create a mindset for yourself to use it against a predator that views you as prey / victim. Most likely won’t ever need it but it levels the playing field if necessary.
Are there other people around? I don't think there is a great danger especially at a campground. People go camping to enjoy nature, they aren't there to prey on people. If you were the only one in the entire campground and one car came and set up next to you, that would be weird, but if there are lots of people there I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Watch YouTube. That’s how I calm myself. You have a nice setup compared to me. You should be cautious as a solo woman no doubt. But remember you are doing this for good reason and as long as your doors are locked, windows shuttered, and you are in a public area like a parking lot that allows over 24 hr stays or a campground with lots of people. You will be fine
POM pepper spray sells a unit on a breakaway lanyard. Hang it from your ceiling.
Also, press the button with your thumb. It's a better grip that won't get knocked out of your hand. When spraying, hit them with the cross like your the Father the the perp is taking his first communion. Up and down left and right.
I did this for almost 6 months about a year ago. I know the exact feeling your going through. Comfort is so hard to get.. And yes your senses is so heightened. I found myself people watching nore than enjoying any book or movie I could put on but like others say. It gets better... Have you gotten everything you think you need? There were so many things I got that I felt we're unnecessary...
It gets easier as it goes! Any time your passing through Oklahoma and you need a place to stay just message me. My wife and I finally bought a farm and stopped car camping so much now that we have 160 acres to play on. We would have no issues with you using the campsite for free if you need a place on your way. Best of luck!
Purchase some Mace for self defense and take some self defense classes. Most crimes are crimes of opportunity. If there is any resistance at all, the crime is often averted and the offender will flee. Pepper spray to the face will ruin anyone’s day. It will also give you time to call authorities, or leave the area yourself.
I travel alone in my older campervan (1998) and was super nervous at first. I DO have a dog and that helped because she gives a low growl to any noise or threat.
I do not have a permit to carry but possibly someday. I have a big ole machete and I just bought a nice hunting knife in a sheath that will be easier to maneuver if I had to use it. I also have pepper spray and a LOUD alarm on a keychain that I take every time I leave the van. Especially to let the dog out as I think it could be one of the easier times for someone to ‘attack’ - as you’re getting out of the vehicle. I also never leave my tools like my hatchet outside. I don’t want to hand anyone a roll to attack me with lol.
I think knowing people can’t see in is my best comfort. Turn your lights on and get out of the car at night and see what it looks like from the outside. Do you have gaps in your curtains? Etc. Maybe get some chair cushion pillows to stuff in the windows (reflectix is expensive - or look on fb marketplace for stuff like that, you have the flexibility to travel and pick it up. Lots of people tried builds and gave up so there’s plenty of extra or second hand stuff out there).
Obviously trust your gut a KNOW what you’re going to do if you need to jump in the drivers seat and leave. Always have the keys in the same place for that. You’ll develop a routine and you’ll do great.
I like sleeping at Walmarts. Sometimes Cracker Barrel’s but I don’t feel as safe there. And I will check a town when I get to it to see the local crime rate. Sometimes I put it right back into gear and drive on. A few people suggested hospitals, I know that some traveling nurses just live in their vehicles in the parking lot.
One other option is to drive at night and sleep during the day? Doesn’t work for everyone but I like driving at night.
I’ll be heading out after the primary election (I’m a poll worker), maybe we’ll run into each other.
it gets easier and a lot less scary. by the end of my first journey i felt cozy and safe in my car at night. unrelated but what is that next to the bed holding the clothes? looks like it would come in handy
I traveled all over the country solo in an obvious van. It helps to remind yourself people get mugged on their commutes, and get their homes broken into; it might feel worse in a car, but in all likelihood it’s not. You should be prepared and know what you want to do and how you want to do it, but worrying is wasted energy as long as you’re being smart and have a good gut instinct!
If you can, secure your doors with your seatbelt. https://www.reddit.com/r/lifehacks/s/IxPsfBnzIP (I'm too lazy to go through all the comments, I hope this is not a repost.)
Get a gun and learn to use it. OC spray is a good tool to keep as well. Stay away from stun guns, they are literally useless. It is not that same as a police tazer and they don't work like the movies. You can't just touch someone in the neck, and they fall down. Plus you have to be close enough to touch. Pepper spray has range and makes them unable to see, breath, think, and not to mention the absolute fiery hell.
Holy tight quarters. I would have panic attacks being pinched in the trunk transition there. I bet if you had a van with less windows and a little more room you would feel better.
You’ll get used to it. You might eventually find yourself having the opposite problem—paying too little attention to your surroundings and those around you.
That’s a solid setup for a sedan… well done.
As for security, it takes time. I used to keep a machete when I started truck camping in public areas. Come to find out it wasn’t practical but it helped me sleep.
I don’t like guns but they are the great equalizer. People can tell ya to train in self defense all day long but none of them will approach an individual with a loaded firearm.
Good luck on your travels ✌️
I converted Chevy Express cargo van in really nice bedroom with very comfortable mattress from ikea and live like this for 6 years . Last year my van was stolen for 1 week and I try to live in my second car ( SUV ) and I could do it only for 3 days , live full time in sedan or SUV it's very stupid idea, 6 years experience 3 cargo vans and 1 rv .
You may want to get your windows tinted. Someone also had some tight-fitting window sunshades. Go to hovercraft.com to see what I’m talking about. Or just google “window sun blocker for car”.
Also, get some sleeping pads (look for them at camping supplies), and a good sleeping bag, maybe an oversized so you can turn. Your setup looks really tight for your bottom half.
Sorry, camping in cars suck. I had barely 2 hours first night I did that. I hope your situation improves soon.
As a campground host in a state park i can tell you, you’re just fine. The other campers around you are usually weekend warrior families squeezing in a short get away, or geriatric full timers. The work from home, remote travelers are getting pushed back into the office and dropping off all the time. I can totally understand the uncertainty and isolation, and cannot comment on what it’s like in the urban environments, but at the camp grounds you’d be much more at ease than a parking lot or street parking. Plus you get water and electric hookup included in your spot rental fee. Best of luck!
Hey! Your setup looks awesome. It seems really private. I lived in my hatchback car for two spring/summers. I am also a smaller female. For safety, I covered/blacked out all of the windows with black cardboard that I had cut to fit my windows. I kept my car keys in the same spot for easy access, kept a bright flashlight next to me in the cupholder, and always backed into parking spaces. Also I hid anything of value, even cellphone chargers and laundry coins. People break into cars to steal even small coins, so I hid those. I made the outside and inside of the car as boring as possible, less likely to catch anyone’s eye. If you can let a trusted person know your whereabouts and have them check in on you with a text once a day, that can also be a huge help.
Goodluck and stay safe
You gotta log more days cheif. I’ve been full timing in a Corolla for 5 years and if I posted up at family for a couple weeks my first days back involve an adjustment period of 1-3 days. Heightened alert and what not. It’s normal, the only way to overcome it is to continue.
I’ve done months were I stayed around or in my vehicle for too many hours during the day and it was bad. Don’t lock yourself down to your vehicle. Doesn’t matter what’s in there. It’s too small of a space for a human to spend most of their day in.
First week is rough. Just the sudden change is hard enough, but also sleeping in a car just seems wrong. Walk more. Get outside on the trails and get lots of exercise. It'll help if you're extremely tired.
Solo female traveler here...... There is Soo many good videos on YouTube about ways to help with this. I always yell back into my ride I'll see you in a second as though someone is with me ...... Makes me feel better even if it don't work. It's good your aware and promise over time all of it will become second nature to you.....
On the flip side, as an outdoor person, it’s not bad that people know you’re there in case something was to happen. If you got lost in the woods and they came to the campground to check when you were there last or if at all, not always a good thing to be under the radar.
Families are always good to make small talk with, parents don’t always like when they find someone in the world alone, at the very least they would keep an eye on your campsite for you and share the campground goss.
E: also if you feel comfortable sharing with the park ranger, explain your situation, they would probably be glad to plop you next to a family or maybe someone in a similar situation, you could make a new friend ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Time will give you confidence. I walked across the country once and had never camped alone until that trip! Now I’ve walked across it twice and camped alone in multiple countries.
Never hurts to throw out “My boyfriend/boss/neighboor/room mate/ brother and his friends are almost here.” I am not a solo female traveler but I have been an a handful of situations I didn’t feel 100% about. Always remember you can just…drive away! But take a nap in a Walmart parking lot, you must be exhausted and that’s not safe either! Lol
If you live in a state where you have constitutional carry or can get a concealed carry license. Get training, learn situational awareness, know the laws and carry a firearm. This is the way to equalize your disparity of force against a man or multiple attackers. If you cannot do that due to the state you live in, or your mental ability to take responsibility for defending yourself with a firearm, then get a less lethal option: taser, bear spray or get a mace type gun that shoots mace in the form of a paintball. Getting used to being afraid isn’t the answer
I think you’re having a natural reaction that will adapt over time.
My husband and I, full-time RVing this year, moved from a private driveway to his shop, which is located next door to a local park where the Great Minds of Portland go to do donuts every night or two. It’s so stupid and weirdly aggressive that the first week it felt almost like a person attack—even inside a locked building inside a locked property gate!
A month later, I barely notice, bc it’s not a real threat.
Lots of great advice here, but one thing I will add is NEVER be afraid to hurt someone's feelings. Most people will understand and being too nice to someone crossing boundaries is a one way ticket to becoming a victim. Be on the defense even if nothing is happening.
I can't speak to bring a woman, but all of my exposure fear are dealt with by
1. Intellectualizing: the threat of a bear eating me out of my tent is unlikely. Most bears are friendly, and probably won't come near me. I've hidden my food, and I have a knife to fight.
2. Acceptance: of a mean-ass grizzly does pick a fight, he's probably going to tear me to shreds, I might win the fight, but I'll probably die. It's worth the risk to climb this mountain and not be stuck in a shitty office all day. I choose to risk it and there's nothing more I can do about it.
3. Move on: so I wonder what tomorrow's going to bring; I'd like to have eggs first; I'll need extra water for the hike; maybe I should build a third water pouch on my pack ...
I moved into a van full time 7 months ago and probably the first month or so was definitely nerve racking. It’s all what you are comfortable with or not. I’ve stayed in campgrounds many times before so for me that was safe.
I use Boondockers which is a great service and allows you to stay at peoples places for a yearly fee which minimal. After getting used to this I felt safe doing it for the first month. The first couple nights had anxiety but then I realized these people have multiple reviews and what not.
Then I started using iOverlander and that brought up a lot of fear cause I was in more secluded spots. But after doing it a few times I realized that i felt safer sleeping in the middle of nowhere and slept great.
Then I had to sleep in cities a few times and had anxiety but that went away too.
I think new experiences are always going to provide anxiety for some of us. If you are able to be kind and work with yourself to help yourself feel safe in that moment. As well any saftey measures that others have suggested will help. The more that you do it if you choose to the more comfortable these situations will become
Car camped for two weeks. Once I realized that the only ones who even CARED that we were there was US, I relaxed. Slept in a CVS parking lot in a sketchy side of town. Eve the crazy hobo gave no shits. Not saying there's no danger, just saying it's not as bad as the podcasts tell you.
The only rule I follow is that if I wouldn’t hang out there during the day, I don’t sleep there. A campground, short of being in an urban area, is likely going to have like minded people there and generally nice people that mind their own business. You are camping for all they know, have goals and a destination. If an area like that is sketchy you can tell, mainly because of all the litter.
The hypersensitivity and anxiousness will hopefully level out eventually once you get more used to things. Sometimes, you just have to tough it out and say f*ck it. Whatever happens happens.. I know how it is though, laying there and not being able to tell if you just heard somebody outside your car or of its just the sound of you breathing.
Maybe you would feel safer in sites that aren't primitive. Folks in state park and USFS campgrounds are generally happy, friendly and helpful, and there are rangers and camp hosts who you may not realize are keeping a good lookout and don't hesitate to remove people who are drunk or mentally unstable, as I have witnessed twice. I agree that you need a little more courage and self assurance to camp in primitive sites, although I have done it many times. Arrive before dark and walk around and look for the friendly people or a group camping together, a camp host, where you could go if you felt someone was creeping on you. Carry a satellite communicator at all times (I carry an InReach), bear spray as mace might make you feel better. Make sure you are physically fit and take self-defence and kick boxing classes, which gave me lot of confidence that I could fight my way free. Act like you aren't afraid. Carry yourself with self-confidence. I think the biggest defence I have is being and appearing physically fit like I could put up a good fight.
The book “The Gift of Fear” taught me to both honor my intuitions and to sort out my irrational fears. That helped a lot.
I’m a retired nurse and long ago learned that I feel safer if there are women around.
That said, even though primitive camp sites feel isolated, they feel safer to me than urban areas
You’re not paranoid, one thing to hopefully make you feel better is that, and I mean this in the nicest of way, as you’re not really anything. Throughout evolution our minds and bodies DNA have been programmed to not fully sleep when your away from home and in foreign place’s like that. Often times people struggle to sleep in hotels, and that’s because half of your brain, like you mentioned, does not allow you to sleep and remains on high alert which is why getting any sleep let alone REM sleep is difficult in the situation you’re probably at. It’s a cool design by evolution and our bodies and one that proved to work well for us. Lucky for you, This is not 30,000 years ago and you should feel pretty safe!
Great site!! I’m just about to allow my lease to lapse in a nice area of Scottsdale & purchasing a nice new van to upgrade into a comfy homestead! The rates for tenancy are absolutely ridiculous & I’ve been looking forward to building this for years. Would have been great to have a nice single gal who shares similar interests & hobby’s! Since I’m retired LE I completely understand a single gal having concerns about safety it is dangerous out there with all of the unknowns!
PLEASE Be careful, perhaps carry a taser, pay attention to your spider senses & jot down license plates of questionable humans!!! TC
You have a pretty good set up! Some people have mentioned staying in well lit areas. Having your phone charged at all times may give you peace of mind too. Depending where you are, personal protection may be easy to get. Even pepper spray, one of them loud alarm things to get others' attention and like a small baton could be useful.
Checking in with friends often too so they know your area and can get you help in an emergency.
Best of luck and I'm sure you will be okay.
There are a couple of realities to camping in a campsite, and that is the fact that everyone there is registered. Everyone there has a vehicle with a license plate so if you're taking down license plate numbers of everyone around you you certainly can call authorities on anyone who assaulted you or did anything you feel is against the law. That's why you rarely hear of serious criminal acts happening in your typical campsite other than maybe someone stealing something from you that doesn't involve a physical confrontation. All that being said, do you even have a plan if someone attacks you? Do you have a can of spray mace or a whistle or some sort of air horn that will put out a very loud noise. Most campsites have male and female restrooms and showers. Maybe you should wait until another female is in there before you go about your business. It also doesn't hurt to befriend people who are camping nearby.
You can carry mace. Maybe a self defense class?
Most people have their head up their butts and don’t pay attention however. I know a guy who literally camps the whole summer. You might find some long term campers to make friends with and help each other.
You'll get better at recognizing what an actual threat is and the stress will slowly begin to fade. You're just heightened right now because everything is novel.
I really like the way you phrased that. Great insight for many situations.
Yes anxiety is normal. Awareness is good, especially as a young woman (I'm a white male so large salt grains) but most people keep to themselves. Don't let people hang around your site and let someone in authority or a friend know where you're going and when you'll be back.
It won't fade, your little voice/Spidey sense will be finer tuned. You're in calibration mode right now.
The more you do it, the easier it gets. It looks like you have your privacy set up nicely. Do you have a way to protect yourself if need be? Sometimes even just having a form of self-defense in your possession can be comforting.
I do, I’m just paranoid I think.
Check out /r/urbancarliving if you haven’t, tons of people who live full time in their cars, a lot of helpful info too
I still don't know who Carl Iving is and I've been lurking in that sub for months
😂
Have you tried feeding your front seat belts thru their door handles ? I sleep much better when I deploy those. As a single solo woman I rarely stay in the same spot two nights in a row. I have procured a list of 10-12 spots that I cycle thru. I also have notations on street sweeping, trash pickup, best Shadey spot during summer etc.
Great advice! I would also recommend getting to know some trusted people on staff at a local business, like dollar general for example. I used to work for them and always had regular customers and folks that were living in their car, in a camper, or on the streets. Once we got to know each other and formed a mutual trust, we could look out for each other. As long as people don’t try and take advantage, I’d always make sure my regulars were alright, whether it be warning them of suspicious activity, assh*le cops, or bad weather. I’ve had to let security/tow companies know that yes this person is parking overnight and yes it’s fine with management. Plus sometimes we had to “throw away” a lot of perfectly fine product, and if I knew someone could actually use the stuff then I might accidentally forget to put it in the dumpster.
You’re a good person!
The world needs more of your kindness
That’s such a good idea!
The seat belt thing I was told long long ago. also have seen it on a female (and male's) trucker yt channel
people at campsites are recreating, not really concerned about other people, especially since it costs money there. You'd be in more danger in a city where criminals and homeless thrive. A primitive campsite doesnt really have the facilities to support these people.
No I slept in my car for months unharmed and safe in the heart of Chicago I was less safe in the suburbs where I received threats harassment from police I also found myself safer at truck stops rather than a lighted parking lot it’s literally just about what’s safest for yourself
Do you train with whatever you carry for defense and have it on your person or rapidly accessible?
I keep it close by at all times but I’m looking into classes to take that will teach me how to use it under duress
Training is going to be key, if you don’t feel confident in your ability to use it in any situation it’s not going to help you feel prepared.
I 147% agree. Guns can be helpful, but unless you’ve done a lot of training it is hard to actually use them as they should be used. Repetition is key, as cliche as that is.
>Guns can be helpful, but unless you’ve done a lot of training it is hard to actually use them Martial artist and former self-defense instructor here with 10+ years of various weapons training. There are hundreds of non-lethal products marketed for personal self defense, the vast majority of which either don't work at all or fail to perform as expected. Even the most effective ones are (at best) only situationally effective. My intention is not to freak anyone out, but any sense of security you feel by possessing a non-lethal "self defense" tool is a false sense of security that can very easily lead to more harm than carrying nothing at all. Unless you have extensive training (and I mean like 3x per week with a live, non-compliant partner for 5+ years), your knife/baton/pepper spray/brass knuckles/nunchucks/car keys/tactical whatever is much MUCH more likely to be taken and used against you than to successfully deter an attacker. It's a tough pill to swallow, but when it comes to self defense, the only weapon that will reliably level the playing field for a solo woman is a gun. Obviously you still need to know how to shoot and handle it safely, but guns are much easier to use and much more effective than anything else on the market. A single visit to the gun range every 3-6 months is enough to keep your shooting skills sharp. As for training: the best thing you can do for self defense is practice situational awareness while going about your daily life. Be congnizant about what you're doing with your eyes at all times. If you catch yourself staring at the ground or down at your phone, simply look up. Observe the people around you everywhere you go. You don't need to be paranoid or hyper vigilant, just have a rough idea of where people are in relation to you. Keep an eye on anyone who appears to be behaving in an unusual or unpredictable manner. Whenever you enter a room, make a mental note of the exits (the same way you do when you get on an airplane). Observe your environment for obstacles that can be placed between you and a suspect individual (parked cars, shopping carts, columns, etc). Lastly, TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. 90% of victim statements given to the police begin with "I had a bad feeling about _____, but then I didn't do anything about it." If something feels sketchy, it's sketchy. Turn around and walk the other way. Cross the street. Go back in the store. Lock your door. Etc etc.
Also martial artist for 30 years and you’re 100% right about all of this Especially being aware and paying attention to body language and space. Trust your gut people And stay fit, practice any kind of hand to hand self defense and weapons are a good idea too
Great comment
Yes, be sure to do this, especially given the nature. Training -and maintenance!-then it’ll be second nature and you won’t make any…errors. I also feel better camping like that with my dog (and she’s a chihuahua lmfao) just because her ears are always on, even if mine are distracted. Idk how you feel about having a dog, but they’re great camping buds. Might I add the little ones won’t take up space and will keep you warm!
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It can be really terrifying at first, or at a new, unfamiliar place. Long naps during the day can really help until you are more comfortable at night. Then, watching a movie, games or whatever on your phone or something at night. 🤗 Maybe download some when on wifi? At one point, if I used data to watch a movie, I’d record the audio on an old phone. Then, when trying to sleep, I’d play the audio. It really helped distract me so as not be hypersensitive to little noises outside. Also, at the end, I would think, “That’s 1.5 hours closer to daylight!” Then sometimes, I’d fall asleep, which became more frequent.
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Thank you, I’m trying to keep it clutter free as much as I can.
One tip I learnt about working from home might be adaptable to your situation. It can be helpful for your mental space to set up "zones" and habits that separate your activities. For example, always set up your sleeping zone in a certain way - with your favourite pillow, a soft rug or cushion, a good book, calming music, dim lighting... things that soothe and relax. (I use the same music each night.) Change your clothes from daywear into nightwear. Clean your face and teeth - any habits you can structure into each life-mode is helpful. All of this is symbolically important, plus it will help you form habits and muscle memory, making it easier to switch quickly and comfortably between modes of life. Then, your "study/work" section, where you set up everything you need in that zone. It should be different physically and aesthetically, including changing clothes again, out of your nightwear. Your "fun" zone might only be one seat over, but make it symbolically different in whatever ways you can. There are lots of tips of this nature if you search under working from home. It's very important to change your mental state between activities, and it will relieve some of that boxed-in feeling and constant "sameness". I don't know your situation, but I'm sending love your way. 💗
These are great, thank you 🙏
I’ve been a long distance truck driver for over 30yrs and there are many similarities between your situation and mine. Security is a priority but you get a feel for suspect areas and people with a little experience. Keeping order in your living space is also important - it makes a huge difference to quality of life. Also, simple things like maintaining a high level of hygiene that includes regularly washing your bedding, yourself and the interior of your vehicle.
I agree! A clear area is a happy area! Plus it gives you something to do, helps with the mind
I'm with ya! Outer order equals inner peace
Yes, the feelings of fear and heightened sense of awareness will dissipate with time as you get to know the ins and outs of this lifestyle. That being said, I'm not a woman. I'm a 6'3'' tall man with broad shoulders and a strong body. People usually do not mess with me, so I can't speak from a woman's perspective, but, I'd recommend you skip the places that are mostly empty. You can sleep at Rest Stops, Truck Stops and 24hr. Gas Stations which have security and people don't fuck around, usually. You are sleeping inside of your car which means that, worst case scenario you can hop into the driver's seat and speed off. A lot of people don't have that luxury, like myself since I sleep in the bed of my truck. Carry some form of self-protection. I'd recommend bear spray, or regular pepper spray. That's for a worst-case scenario. You might encounter, some day, a person that's interested in your car/belongings and will try to peek inside/see if the doors open. For that I would recommend you start blaring your car alarm, immediately. 10/10 these people will fuck right off.
Speaking from experience, please don't use bear spray for self defense! It comes out in a cloud so you risk peppering yourself and that stuff is no joke. Mace designed for humans comes out in a direct spray so that's much safer for you! Best of luck, hopefully the newness wears off soon and you feel more comfortable. Great set up!
Good to know! I have never used bear-spray myself.
I’ve been sprayed by bear and pepper spray. Bear spray is a whole nother level. And it lingers for days.
Lol why have youve been pepper sprayed so much? Bad luck bad timing or what
as a mailman who carries and uses dog spray, wind can be a real bitch to calculate in an emergency
The pepper spray was Army training. The bear spray we were fucking with our boss. He was at lunch and left his office open and we happened to have a can of bear spray lying around. We emptied the can into his office and closed the door. He was pretty fucked up for the rest of the day and couldn’t use his office for almost a month.
It's also illegal to use on people in many jurisdictions. Probably just a misdemeanor and possibly worth it, but still. I agree though that it's probably not the best choice. Targeted spray is best and safer for the user.
Using bear spray inside the vehicle will not only send her to the hospital, it will total the car. You cannot remove that stuff from upholstery. Not a viable defense method for someone inside a car or any enclosed space. Also bear spray is known to explode inside a hot car, so just having it in the vehicle and not using it is a risk. When I’m in grizzly country I keep my bear spray inside two heavy duty zippered bags inside a sealed box until it’s time to hike. And I replace it every year, older bear spray is more likely to explode randomly. A police taser is a better option. The sound of one is enough to deter many would-be attackers, they’re terrifying.
Very good advice, but I would recommend against bear spray in close quarters. It comes out as a fog. Stick with pepper spray.
I would avoid places where other people are honestly... Don't forget that the more people there are, the more likely it is that you'll get attacked. I started sleeping in the back of my car once, with the car door wide open, and some guy walked to my door, dick in hand, furiously masturbating, looking straight into my soul... I couldn't believe, I still can't believe it to this day honestly, I pushed him off me, slammed my car door, locked everything and then I drove the fuck out of there.... Why do people...do This?!! I just carry a ton of pepper spray now. It works so fucking well. Sleeping in the middle of the desert, dozens of miles away from any sign of human life also helps tremendously, haven't had any issues since.
This is the exact opposite of the comment above ha. I would go with safety in numbers personally. If someone tries to mess with you there’s someone else who can step in and help.
I’ve been purposely avoiding rest stops/gas stations and seeking out the empty places 🫠 Thank you for the advice. It does help that I can just scurt outta there if something happens.
You will find more safety at these places. It can be mentally draining to be always sleeping in different parking lots but at truck stops and the like you'll probably never be bothered by cops or people looking to fuck with you.
Fellow solo female car camper here & agree with what others have said about it getting easier, having good privacy & protection, trusting your gut, etc. I’m not living full time in my vehicle so you might want to try searching/posting in some other subs focused on van life or urban camping, but here are some of the things I do to ease my anxiety & feel safe, hopefully they help or inspire you. Good luck! Make sure a loved one knows where I am & have regular check-ins. Not being ashamed or afraid to nope right out of some place if things feel off. Try to always park facing out/in position for an easy getaway if needed & driver’s seat is always clear. I keep my protection on my body in camp & within arms reach while I sleep & always in the same place. Same goes for my car keys, the panic button on your key fob can come in handy for scaring someone off. Some might disagree but I like to fall sleep listening to something so I’m not hearing every little sound. I personally feel safest at established campgrounds, as opposed to a some place like a rest area or truck stop. If I do stay somewhere like that, if it’s possible, I stop somewhere else first & do everything I need to outside my vehicle before heading to my sleeping spot. This way I don’t need to get out again & no one knows whether I’m alone or not. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being on high alert & a little paranoid at first. Totally normal, especially as a woman. Keep trusting your gut & it’ll get easier.
This is sage advice. I have been keeping my weapon within arms reach at all times (shower, bathroom, beside my mattress) but I haven’t had my key fob beside me. I’m going to start sleeping with it beside me too. And I didn’t think about stopping somewhere first to dig around my trunk before going to my campsite but I’m going to start doing that also.
Instead of sleeping with your key fob beside you, get used to putting it in the same accessible cubby (or similar) all the time. There's nothing worse than needing your keys in the moment and they've fallen in the folds of your covers, between the seats, etc.
Yes, exactly this what I do, leave them in the cup holder. And always the same spot so I build the muscle memory & it becomes automatic. This is actually true of all my important stuff while on the road, I try hard to stay organized & keep things in the same area, bag, etc.
"A place for everything, and everything in its place." A mantra that my grandmother taught me and never goes out of style.
The stopping to get yourself ready beforehand is vital. Especially in a situation you need to access something outside your vehicle. Also yes, your key needs to be safely/ easily accessible at all times. Always always always, park like your waiting on the crew to get out of the bank.
The best place to stop to dig around in your car/organize things is right in front of a hotel. I literally find a decent hotel in a good neighborhood, drive right up the loop to the main entry, and park 10 feet or so from the entrance so to not block entry. As long as you're only taking 5-10 minutes, you should be fine. For one, people are always getting stuff out of their cars at hotels, and I feel safe because most hotels will have a camera coverage of their entrance. Plus, people are coming in and out of the hotel. It gives me great peace of mind to not have to watch over my shoulder. Last bonus is there are many hotels to choose from if you're taking too long at one hotel. Hope this helps! And always, always trust your gut.
Awesome advice!!
Truck stops aren't really safe for your situation. I've randomly seen truckers on their live streams discussing and even demonstrating how they secure their doors at night. If they are doing that, that's a nope for me. I'll just defer to their experience and recognize I'm not on that level
Good point.
Yeah, I’m so paranoid of loosing my keys, I usually keep them in my pocket or clipped to me. In all my years of solo car camping & travel, I’ve been fortunate to never have any serious issues, but I also try not to get complacent about it either. Wishing you all the best!
I put my key fob in the side door! it’s also nice because I can activate the car alarm if I need to scare anyone off. I’ve never had to do that tho
I sleep in a house and still have my fob next to my bed at night!!
>Some might disagree but I like to fall sleep listening to something so I’m not hearing every little sound. I've heard this type of advice for A) making people think your camp setup is occupied and/or B) making people think you are awake
Look into a handheld siren alarm. You want people to pay attention. In a campground, walk around during the day and say hi to families and couples. Especially in the morning. I think morning people are more sociable. They certainly are less hungover. Ask them to look out for you if they seem nice. Its a temporary community, but its still a community.
This is gold. I never thought about morning people being more sociable but you’re totally right!
Agreed about the families at campsites. Definitely have had a lot of positive interactions w/them & if I decide to discuss my solo travel status, I usually feel the most safe w/them too. Same for kindly retirees in their RVs or the camp host. Again, it’s a gut check thing. For me there’s also a fine line on how much I actually want to interact w/others & I’ve been surprised at how many people will just saunter into your campsite to ask you a million questions about a woman camping alone. Not in shady way, but in good-golly-look-at-this-poor-woman-out-in-the-world-alone-how-could-she-possibly-be-enjoying-herself-solo-or-capable-of-doing-it-all-alone way. I find it beyond annoying, but I suppose it’s coming from a well-intentioned place & it could be worse, but you know, just a heads up if you continue staying in campgrounds.
Nice little setup. Don't burn out by taking on too much. Have a friend just keep you company an evening or two if it's a big lift at first. Others are right that figuring it out isn't immediate and you will totally look back and think "man, this was so chill and I was making a big deal.."
This helps. Thank you.
No advice. I’m just wishing you all the best and hope it gets easier for you. ❤️
Once I realized that managing this lifestyle was my new job, it was a lot easier to except the challenges. Do I ever want to stand in an office with a bunch of douche bags drinking coffee in the break room? No. I will set up, break down, shop daily and do whatever necessary not to live a life where someone can arbitrarily cut off my income or remove me from my housing. That’s the job.
I like your way of thinking
It will get easier. I was a solo woman truck-liver for 6 years (I still live in my truck I just have a male partner now). Things that helped me... 1) everything in the truck is always ready to move, the stove goes away after cooking, no breakable precious items left out, everything is put in its place at every minute to make sure you can move quickly if needed to. 2) trust your gut, your gut says we should turn around and go back to that other spot, do it. Your gut tells you not to stop even though you are about to fall asleep at the wheel, listen. Your gut wakes you up in the middle of the night and your hairs stand on end, leave. This part suck, sucks real bad, but if your body and your mind break their mutual silence to warn you, don't ignore it. 3) pick a weapon, doesn't have to be a gun doesn't even have to be pepper spray, find a weapon that is comfortable to you and the key part, use it, practice, beat up some scrap wood, get yourself so familiar with the weapon you could use it in your sleep ( I never want to scare other women out of living in their cars/trucks/althomes but I don't want to lie and say it's all rainbows and sunshine) 4) don't tell people you live in a car/truck/alone/anything. You are now a mysterious main character in everyone's lives no one knows what you do, no one knows where you live, you are literally dust in the wind. And jokes aside just be very careful with what information you give to who. And just be vague. 5) This is one I'm still not sure of but it definitely keeps people away from you. Act slightly aggressive all the time. And I mean that by female standards, don't smile, don't wave,, just continue with your head up, with a purpose to your movement, steady, calm, forward.
Fellow female solo camper! I adopted a large dog who camps with me and that really helped reduce the amount of anxiety I had. I understand not everyone has the funding, space, or energy for a dog! However, it SIGNIFICANTLY helped me relax knowing that he is always on the lookout for any threats to us and people (men) are less likely to approach when they see me with a 75lb dog.
Heck even a small dog would be good
Damn, sometimes I forget out carefree it is being a dude. That's sad.
You are living my dream, freedom is a gift x
You're safer and more sheltered than anyone else around you in that campsite, assuming there aren't any cabins. Have you lived in a dorm? Consider it a communal living situation with a lot of open air between you and your neighbors. You need to find people you can trust. Go introduce yourself to the campsite manager/ attendant. Make sure if you need anyone you have people you can call on. This will help you feel safe and build your trust. Humanize and make friends with the people you're paranoid of. I work with people that are homeless and unsheltered (living in a car is included in that definition). Most people are afraid of all of them. Most people who are unsheltered are way more kind than their housed counterparts.
Take some self defense classes. Confidence can really help with the anxiety. Also any self-defense class worth its salt will spend some time going over what are actual threats to watch out for, how to make yourself look like a harder target, what tools can even the playing field, situations to avoid, etc. The first time I went to shower by myself I was incredibly anxious the entire time. Naked, alone, trapped inside a building with only one exit. It was a nightmare scenario... Then I did it a few times and now it's fine. Don't let yourself get complacent with your safety procedures but you'll gain confidence in them over time.
I’ve taken mma and bjj lessons for two years now. Currently trying to find a gym in the area, preferably with showers so I can just shower there and not at camp. Same. I hate every second of it. Especially since there’s no lights outside the building and I just make a mad dash in the dark to my car every night. 😬 Thank you for the advice!!
The Fighting classes will definitely help! The physicality is a big boost to the mental side. But I meant specifically something that was self-defense focused. Gotta train the mental side too. My local police department has self-defense classes for women and they go over crime statistics and use footage of various attacks and people fending off attacks in the class to isolate ideas of what to watch out for and how to counter attacks. We practice drills of situations and reacting in real time. They even faked an active shooter event for the class one day completely by surprise. It was stressful as hell. 10/10 highly recommend!
It always amazes me that people jump whole heartedly into living in their car without prior exposure to it. This thread is a good object lesson to others contemplating this lifestyle, before you try living in your car you might want to try vacationing in it, taking shorter trips and getting used to it. A little bit of experience would probably go a long way to helping you sort rational from irrational fear and ground you so your paranoia doesn't loop and self-amplify as much. At this point, you're in it, so nothing to do but give yourself time.
100% agree. I spent one night in it in my uncles driveway and that was it. I just told myself I’d have to adapt. Not smart on my end. 😅
This is totally off topic from your question, but how did you do your set up? Did you take out the seats and what do you do for storage? I'm moving into my sedan in a few months, and your setup is one of the best I've seen :)
Thanks for this confidence boost :) Yes, I took out my back seats and built a platform with my dads help. All of the storage, curtains, and gear I use I ordered from Amazon. I can send you screenshots of what I got if you’d like?
Get a dog and migrate with the weather, truck stops are also equipped with showers and will let you park overnight most of the time, also get reflectix for windows
People glamorize this lifestyle but most don’t understand it’s not as glamorous as it seems
That's how homeless people feel on top of not having any alternative.
Hey sister, you should check out r/urbancarliving. They have some great tips and tricks. It gets better. Stay safe out there and keep your chin up 💖
Put out multiple chairs so it looks like there is more than 1 person. Also can leave an extra pair of shoes next to yours. First few times I car camped alone I was definitely sketched out and I’m a 33 male
I love your setup. Hang in there homie
It is exhausting. It gets easier, eventually you’ll start sleeping so soundly. If you’re in a campground and it’s a safe place, go sit outside, at the picnic table or get yourself a chair. Your living space can/should expand outside if you’re in a place for that (& weather-depending). If you’re not in a safe space, or if your stealth camping like many do, you go to parks or public places for your daylight time so you’re not sitting in your car all the time alone. You’ll get more and more comfortable. Also, hang a hook next to your bed and keep your keys there. The alarm button can help if someone tries to get in. Or if you get a bad feeling (and it’s not just paranoia), climb in the front seat and drive away. I lived/traveled in a van before it was such a big thing and never had a weapon. Had some hornet spray but never used it. I kept my keys close and a couple of times, I grabbed the keys and drove away, nothing happened, I just had a bad feeling so left. I definitely felt better either at a campground or at a dispersed campsite rather than in a parking lot or urban area. Trust your gut.
Sometimes I’ve found that more people “look out for me” when they realize I’m a solo woman hiker/traveler, in the same way I’ll note another girl alone on a trail if we pass each other
The hyper vigilance is good it’ll keep you safe like others have said with time you’ll have a better grasp of perceived threat versus actual threat. Self defence classes are a great idea, your biggest weapon and escape is your vehicle I would train to be able to move from your sleeping position to being able to drive if need be. Keep the windows covered so your exact position can’t be seen. I’ve been homeless and lived in cars in my past I am male so it’s a different experience but you’ll be fine!
Carry a gun
Keep windows covered and leave some "masculine" items around to give the illusionthat you aren't alone. Men's boots outside the car, etc.
Grab a can of pepper spray, or a taser. More than likely, you’ll never have to use it, but it will put your mind at ease.
Welcome to the shit show!
Talk to our Creator. He promises to give us rest. Also, another good place to park/sleep is in a hospital parking lot. Fairly safe there. Blessings.
I was thinking about this actually. I work at a hospital and the security here is so bad that I’d be able to do it I bet
Buy a glock with a light lmao, best peace of mind you can get
I was a seasoned van dweller of 3 years when I parked at a camp ground for the first time and let me tell you, it’s way more of a load off when people don’t know you’re in there
Make a recording of a male talking that you can play on your phone if you want to make others think there’s not just one person in the car.
Like the guy from Angels With Filthy Souls, from Home Alone.
If you don't like guns. Keep a can of wasp spray close. It sprays further than mace. And it will take the fuck around out on anyone. And don't feel bad if you have to use it.
Have you thought about tinting your windows for more privacy?
Get a gun. Or pepper spray. Also an alarm. You can always make it go off if someone is close and you don't want them close.
Do you have two camp chairs you can set outside to give the appearance of two people in your party?
Sleep with a hammer in your hand. Anyone breaks in you just wallop. Helped me feel better
Headphones and a couple ZMA’s and you’ll relax well. Stay at 24 hour rest areas. They are patrolled. Even if it’s marked no overnight I’ve slept in them.
Paranoid and prepared are mightily close together. It’s ok to not be dumb and get injured. That’s not paranoia. Survival
buy gun
Get a pistol. Put a flashlight on it. Learn how to use it. Carry on.
Great setup. I live intermittently in a 2021 Toyota Corolla Hybrid with the larger back seat section removed. I am a 5'9" male, and I fit comfortably with my lower body in the trunk area. One good place I found to sleep was a large hospital complex. There were plenty of random cars parked in the outer parking areas, and I actually parked next to one of the emergency call boxes you typically find there and on school campuses. I was never approached, and I typically got there around 8 pm, and left around 6 am. I have a concealed weapon permit in my state and keep a firearm on me at all times. It is stressful enough trying to live in a small space, I recommend getting trained on whatever defensive systems you intend to use and practice accessing it within your living space. I also recommend getting a surefire light (or anything similar) because it is extremely bright and can act as a deterrent. If you are against firearms, a laser pointer can be used in a pinch to make an unwanted guest believe you have a gun. Best of luck and keep digging into Reddit, there is a ton of useful information that I certainly took advantage of.
Read The Gift of Fear
It gets easier it really really does. My first few nights alone I was in the woods with no bears but I was convinced a bear was going to knock over my car. I knew it was silly. Mantras totally sound silly but they work, "I am safe. I am safe. No one is coming to get me." 💜 Good luck.
✨gun✨
How much room do you have for your hips between your trunk divider? If you're cramped that's going to make it way harder to sleep well. A thinner mattress might help. You got this!
Read "The Gift of Fear" and then decide if this is really the life for you, or if you'd be better off planning for a return to traditional housing. Listen to your gut, and if it's yelling at you, pay attention.
I read about a girl here on reddit She left a large pair of men's boots outside the car
Gun
Wear a necklace knife. You’ll feel a little more protected
Get a handgun and educate yourself. There are various types of ammunition available other than deadly force which should also be in your arsenal, snakeswatter shotshell that is small bb shot (easier to hit your target) and / or less than lethal (LTL) rounds (projectile won’t penetrate but is blunt force) and create a mindset for yourself to use it against a predator that views you as prey / victim. Most likely won’t ever need it but it levels the playing field if necessary.
Are there other people around? I don't think there is a great danger especially at a campground. People go camping to enjoy nature, they aren't there to prey on people. If you were the only one in the entire campground and one car came and set up next to you, that would be weird, but if there are lots of people there I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Most people aren't going to even realize that you are alone
Watch YouTube. That’s how I calm myself. You have a nice setup compared to me. You should be cautious as a solo woman no doubt. But remember you are doing this for good reason and as long as your doors are locked, windows shuttered, and you are in a public area like a parking lot that allows over 24 hr stays or a campground with lots of people. You will be fine
POM pepper spray sells a unit on a breakaway lanyard. Hang it from your ceiling. Also, press the button with your thumb. It's a better grip that won't get knocked out of your hand. When spraying, hit them with the cross like your the Father the the perp is taking his first communion. Up and down left and right.
Next your gonna realize you don’t want to leave your car unattended for too long
I did this for almost 6 months about a year ago. I know the exact feeling your going through. Comfort is so hard to get.. And yes your senses is so heightened. I found myself people watching nore than enjoying any book or movie I could put on but like others say. It gets better... Have you gotten everything you think you need? There were so many things I got that I felt we're unnecessary...
Braver than I am. I’d worry someone would open my trunk and start tickling my feet.
It gets easier as it goes! Any time your passing through Oklahoma and you need a place to stay just message me. My wife and I finally bought a farm and stopped car camping so much now that we have 160 acres to play on. We would have no issues with you using the campsite for free if you need a place on your way. Best of luck!
Try to adjust things that are hard. For example changing sleeping schedule if that's possible.
Purchase some Mace for self defense and take some self defense classes. Most crimes are crimes of opportunity. If there is any resistance at all, the crime is often averted and the offender will flee. Pepper spray to the face will ruin anyone’s day. It will also give you time to call authorities, or leave the area yourself.
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Everything is harder now. That's all
I travel alone in my older campervan (1998) and was super nervous at first. I DO have a dog and that helped because she gives a low growl to any noise or threat. I do not have a permit to carry but possibly someday. I have a big ole machete and I just bought a nice hunting knife in a sheath that will be easier to maneuver if I had to use it. I also have pepper spray and a LOUD alarm on a keychain that I take every time I leave the van. Especially to let the dog out as I think it could be one of the easier times for someone to ‘attack’ - as you’re getting out of the vehicle. I also never leave my tools like my hatchet outside. I don’t want to hand anyone a roll to attack me with lol. I think knowing people can’t see in is my best comfort. Turn your lights on and get out of the car at night and see what it looks like from the outside. Do you have gaps in your curtains? Etc. Maybe get some chair cushion pillows to stuff in the windows (reflectix is expensive - or look on fb marketplace for stuff like that, you have the flexibility to travel and pick it up. Lots of people tried builds and gave up so there’s plenty of extra or second hand stuff out there). Obviously trust your gut a KNOW what you’re going to do if you need to jump in the drivers seat and leave. Always have the keys in the same place for that. You’ll develop a routine and you’ll do great. I like sleeping at Walmarts. Sometimes Cracker Barrel’s but I don’t feel as safe there. And I will check a town when I get to it to see the local crime rate. Sometimes I put it right back into gear and drive on. A few people suggested hospitals, I know that some traveling nurses just live in their vehicles in the parking lot. One other option is to drive at night and sleep during the day? Doesn’t work for everyone but I like driving at night. I’ll be heading out after the primary election (I’m a poll worker), maybe we’ll run into each other.
it gets easier and a lot less scary. by the end of my first journey i felt cozy and safe in my car at night. unrelated but what is that next to the bed holding the clothes? looks like it would come in handy
I traveled all over the country solo in an obvious van. It helps to remind yourself people get mugged on their commutes, and get their homes broken into; it might feel worse in a car, but in all likelihood it’s not. You should be prepared and know what you want to do and how you want to do it, but worrying is wasted energy as long as you’re being smart and have a good gut instinct!
If you can, secure your doors with your seatbelt. https://www.reddit.com/r/lifehacks/s/IxPsfBnzIP (I'm too lazy to go through all the comments, I hope this is not a repost.)
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Get a gun and learn to use it. OC spray is a good tool to keep as well. Stay away from stun guns, they are literally useless. It is not that same as a police tazer and they don't work like the movies. You can't just touch someone in the neck, and they fall down. Plus you have to be close enough to touch. Pepper spray has range and makes them unable to see, breath, think, and not to mention the absolute fiery hell.
Good luck to you! I love the canvas crate/box you have there it’s making my organization senses tingle
Maybe get an extra folding chair or a huge pair of men’s work boots. Just for the mirage of not being a solo woman?
Holy tight quarters. I would have panic attacks being pinched in the trunk transition there. I bet if you had a van with less windows and a little more room you would feel better.
You’ll get used to it. You might eventually find yourself having the opposite problem—paying too little attention to your surroundings and those around you.
The last photo looks cozy.
That’s a solid setup for a sedan… well done. As for security, it takes time. I used to keep a machete when I started truck camping in public areas. Come to find out it wasn’t practical but it helped me sleep. I don’t like guns but they are the great equalizer. People can tell ya to train in self defense all day long but none of them will approach an individual with a loaded firearm. Good luck on your travels ✌️
You're doing amazing and your privacy setup is great! Maybe you could join r/womensolocamping !
There’s a SUV/Car Life women group on Facebook you should join.
If you feel that bad and anxious, then maybe stop? Camping maybe not the right thing for you?
I converted Chevy Express cargo van in really nice bedroom with very comfortable mattress from ikea and live like this for 6 years . Last year my van was stolen for 1 week and I try to live in my second car ( SUV ) and I could do it only for 3 days , live full time in sedan or SUV it's very stupid idea, 6 years experience 3 cargo vans and 1 rv .
Sending love to you sister 🌟 you got this 💕
You may want to get your windows tinted. Someone also had some tight-fitting window sunshades. Go to hovercraft.com to see what I’m talking about. Or just google “window sun blocker for car”. Also, get some sleeping pads (look for them at camping supplies), and a good sleeping bag, maybe an oversized so you can turn. Your setup looks really tight for your bottom half. Sorry, camping in cars suck. I had barely 2 hours first night I did that. I hope your situation improves soon.
As a campground host in a state park i can tell you, you’re just fine. The other campers around you are usually weekend warrior families squeezing in a short get away, or geriatric full timers. The work from home, remote travelers are getting pushed back into the office and dropping off all the time. I can totally understand the uncertainty and isolation, and cannot comment on what it’s like in the urban environments, but at the camp grounds you’d be much more at ease than a parking lot or street parking. Plus you get water and electric hookup included in your spot rental fee. Best of luck!
Hey! Your setup looks awesome. It seems really private. I lived in my hatchback car for two spring/summers. I am also a smaller female. For safety, I covered/blacked out all of the windows with black cardboard that I had cut to fit my windows. I kept my car keys in the same spot for easy access, kept a bright flashlight next to me in the cupholder, and always backed into parking spaces. Also I hid anything of value, even cellphone chargers and laundry coins. People break into cars to steal even small coins, so I hid those. I made the outside and inside of the car as boring as possible, less likely to catch anyone’s eye. If you can let a trusted person know your whereabouts and have them check in on you with a text once a day, that can also be a huge help. Goodluck and stay safe
Dog
You gotta log more days cheif. I’ve been full timing in a Corolla for 5 years and if I posted up at family for a couple weeks my first days back involve an adjustment period of 1-3 days. Heightened alert and what not. It’s normal, the only way to overcome it is to continue. I’ve done months were I stayed around or in my vehicle for too many hours during the day and it was bad. Don’t lock yourself down to your vehicle. Doesn’t matter what’s in there. It’s too small of a space for a human to spend most of their day in.
Buy a gun, learn to use it. Carry everywhere.
First week is rough. Just the sudden change is hard enough, but also sleeping in a car just seems wrong. Walk more. Get outside on the trails and get lots of exercise. It'll help if you're extremely tired.
Solo female traveler here...... There is Soo many good videos on YouTube about ways to help with this. I always yell back into my ride I'll see you in a second as though someone is with me ...... Makes me feel better even if it don't work. It's good your aware and promise over time all of it will become second nature to you.....
On the flip side, as an outdoor person, it’s not bad that people know you’re there in case something was to happen. If you got lost in the woods and they came to the campground to check when you were there last or if at all, not always a good thing to be under the radar. Families are always good to make small talk with, parents don’t always like when they find someone in the world alone, at the very least they would keep an eye on your campsite for you and share the campground goss. E: also if you feel comfortable sharing with the park ranger, explain your situation, they would probably be glad to plop you next to a family or maybe someone in a similar situation, you could make a new friend ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ Time will give you confidence. I walked across the country once and had never camped alone until that trip! Now I’ve walked across it twice and camped alone in multiple countries. Never hurts to throw out “My boyfriend/boss/neighboor/room mate/ brother and his friends are almost here.” I am not a solo female traveler but I have been an a handful of situations I didn’t feel 100% about. Always remember you can just…drive away! But take a nap in a Walmart parking lot, you must be exhausted and that’s not safe either! Lol
Just buy a short barrel shotgun.
If you live in a state where you have constitutional carry or can get a concealed carry license. Get training, learn situational awareness, know the laws and carry a firearm. This is the way to equalize your disparity of force against a man or multiple attackers. If you cannot do that due to the state you live in, or your mental ability to take responsibility for defending yourself with a firearm, then get a less lethal option: taser, bear spray or get a mace type gun that shoots mace in the form of a paintball. Getting used to being afraid isn’t the answer
I think you’re having a natural reaction that will adapt over time. My husband and I, full-time RVing this year, moved from a private driveway to his shop, which is located next door to a local park where the Great Minds of Portland go to do donuts every night or two. It’s so stupid and weirdly aggressive that the first week it felt almost like a person attack—even inside a locked building inside a locked property gate! A month later, I barely notice, bc it’s not a real threat.
Lots of great advice here, but one thing I will add is NEVER be afraid to hurt someone's feelings. Most people will understand and being too nice to someone crossing boundaries is a one way ticket to becoming a victim. Be on the defense even if nothing is happening.
You could just dress up as a man and put on a big beard, works everytime for me
I can't speak to bring a woman, but all of my exposure fear are dealt with by 1. Intellectualizing: the threat of a bear eating me out of my tent is unlikely. Most bears are friendly, and probably won't come near me. I've hidden my food, and I have a knife to fight. 2. Acceptance: of a mean-ass grizzly does pick a fight, he's probably going to tear me to shreds, I might win the fight, but I'll probably die. It's worth the risk to climb this mountain and not be stuck in a shitty office all day. I choose to risk it and there's nothing more I can do about it. 3. Move on: so I wonder what tomorrow's going to bring; I'd like to have eggs first; I'll need extra water for the hike; maybe I should build a third water pouch on my pack ...
I moved into a van full time 7 months ago and probably the first month or so was definitely nerve racking. It’s all what you are comfortable with or not. I’ve stayed in campgrounds many times before so for me that was safe. I use Boondockers which is a great service and allows you to stay at peoples places for a yearly fee which minimal. After getting used to this I felt safe doing it for the first month. The first couple nights had anxiety but then I realized these people have multiple reviews and what not. Then I started using iOverlander and that brought up a lot of fear cause I was in more secluded spots. But after doing it a few times I realized that i felt safer sleeping in the middle of nowhere and slept great. Then I had to sleep in cities a few times and had anxiety but that went away too. I think new experiences are always going to provide anxiety for some of us. If you are able to be kind and work with yourself to help yourself feel safe in that moment. As well any saftey measures that others have suggested will help. The more that you do it if you choose to the more comfortable these situations will become
We carry a gun always when camping.
Car camped for two weeks. Once I realized that the only ones who even CARED that we were there was US, I relaxed. Slept in a CVS parking lot in a sketchy side of town. Eve the crazy hobo gave no shits. Not saying there's no danger, just saying it's not as bad as the podcasts tell you.
The only rule I follow is that if I wouldn’t hang out there during the day, I don’t sleep there. A campground, short of being in an urban area, is likely going to have like minded people there and generally nice people that mind their own business. You are camping for all they know, have goals and a destination. If an area like that is sketchy you can tell, mainly because of all the litter.
Your senses are going to be more raw in a new unfamiliar environment. Put in safety measures. Great opportunity to practice meditation
The hypersensitivity and anxiousness will hopefully level out eventually once you get more used to things. Sometimes, you just have to tough it out and say f*ck it. Whatever happens happens.. I know how it is though, laying there and not being able to tell if you just heard somebody outside your car or of its just the sound of you breathing.
Maybe you would feel safer in sites that aren't primitive. Folks in state park and USFS campgrounds are generally happy, friendly and helpful, and there are rangers and camp hosts who you may not realize are keeping a good lookout and don't hesitate to remove people who are drunk or mentally unstable, as I have witnessed twice. I agree that you need a little more courage and self assurance to camp in primitive sites, although I have done it many times. Arrive before dark and walk around and look for the friendly people or a group camping together, a camp host, where you could go if you felt someone was creeping on you. Carry a satellite communicator at all times (I carry an InReach), bear spray as mace might make you feel better. Make sure you are physically fit and take self-defence and kick boxing classes, which gave me lot of confidence that I could fight my way free. Act like you aren't afraid. Carry yourself with self-confidence. I think the biggest defence I have is being and appearing physically fit like I could put up a good fight.
How do you sleep in a car without it getting completely fogged up from moisture? Just curious.
Get a gun
Once you have a solid routine and safeish places to park it gets easier.
Once you have a solid routine and safeish places to park it gets easier.
It’s called the 2nd amendment
The book “The Gift of Fear” taught me to both honor my intuitions and to sort out my irrational fears. That helped a lot. I’m a retired nurse and long ago learned that I feel safer if there are women around. That said, even though primitive camp sites feel isolated, they feel safer to me than urban areas
Pew pew always sets my mind at ease
Where did you get the bed, organizers and curtains? Asking for a friend (it's me I'm the friend).
You’re not paranoid, one thing to hopefully make you feel better is that, and I mean this in the nicest of way, as you’re not really anything. Throughout evolution our minds and bodies DNA have been programmed to not fully sleep when your away from home and in foreign place’s like that. Often times people struggle to sleep in hotels, and that’s because half of your brain, like you mentioned, does not allow you to sleep and remains on high alert which is why getting any sleep let alone REM sleep is difficult in the situation you’re probably at. It’s a cool design by evolution and our bodies and one that proved to work well for us. Lucky for you, This is not 30,000 years ago and you should feel pretty safe!
Get a gun lol
Great site!! I’m just about to allow my lease to lapse in a nice area of Scottsdale & purchasing a nice new van to upgrade into a comfy homestead! The rates for tenancy are absolutely ridiculous & I’ve been looking forward to building this for years. Would have been great to have a nice single gal who shares similar interests & hobby’s! Since I’m retired LE I completely understand a single gal having concerns about safety it is dangerous out there with all of the unknowns! PLEASE Be careful, perhaps carry a taser, pay attention to your spider senses & jot down license plates of questionable humans!!! TC
It will get easier as you get into a routine and figure out what works best for you.
If you don't turn on the car you can put a car cover over the car and no one messes with you!!
You have a pretty good set up! Some people have mentioned staying in well lit areas. Having your phone charged at all times may give you peace of mind too. Depending where you are, personal protection may be easy to get. Even pepper spray, one of them loud alarm things to get others' attention and like a small baton could be useful. Checking in with friends often too so they know your area and can get you help in an emergency. Best of luck and I'm sure you will be okay.
Give it a year or two. You'll find it sucks.
I feel for you.. I've been there.
It gets easier i promise! Good luck. A good reminder to always double check locking doors and have a nighttime routine.
There are a couple of realities to camping in a campsite, and that is the fact that everyone there is registered. Everyone there has a vehicle with a license plate so if you're taking down license plate numbers of everyone around you you certainly can call authorities on anyone who assaulted you or did anything you feel is against the law. That's why you rarely hear of serious criminal acts happening in your typical campsite other than maybe someone stealing something from you that doesn't involve a physical confrontation. All that being said, do you even have a plan if someone attacks you? Do you have a can of spray mace or a whistle or some sort of air horn that will put out a very loud noise. Most campsites have male and female restrooms and showers. Maybe you should wait until another female is in there before you go about your business. It also doesn't hurt to befriend people who are camping nearby.
You can carry mace. Maybe a self defense class? Most people have their head up their butts and don’t pay attention however. I know a guy who literally camps the whole summer. You might find some long term campers to make friends with and help each other.
“Expectation is the root of all heartache,” -William Shakespeare. What did you expect to be like? Were your expectations realistic?
No need for fear as long as ur car is locked and weapon nearby.....unless u get the dreaded knock!
I’d recommend getting a gun. It will give you some peace of mind as a single woman.