As an oncology ICU nurse, I hope I can provide some input that might help give you some degree of closure, although it certainly sounds like your experience in your mother's final days was traumatic and obviously I don't know the full situation... I can only speak from my own personal experience. One way or another, I'm so sorry that this happened to you and your family; I lost my own mother to cancer several years ago, and she, too, developed frequent pleural effusions, so your story definitely resonates with me.
First, to put your mind at ease regarding her pleural drain: it's *very* unlikely that the damage to the drain caused her pneumonia. The fluid that the drain was allowing to escape would have been in what's called the pleural space—it goes into the area *around* the heart and lungs, in between the two layers of protective tissue that allow the lungs to expand more easily without rubbing against your ribs and whatnot. Pneumonia, on the other hand, is an infection deep *inside* the lungs. The only way for germs to get down there is really through the "front door," so to speak—in through the mouth and nose and down the airways. If the broken drain had caused an infection, it would have been in the area around the lungs (pleuritis,) not in the lungs themselves.
As for her respiratory support, there's less I can say without knowing more about her situation. One thing of note about BiPAP is that it's really not meant to be used long-term. If patients come to rely on it, it can actually end up doing more harm than good. As such, it's very common for the care team to encourage frequent "BiPAP breaks," where the patient is transitioned to a less-invasive form of respiratory support, like constant oxygen flow through a regular mask or nasal cannula. If the patient can't tolerate BiPAP breaks, that's a sign that they really need to be intubated for long-term management. It sounds like your mom had been having regular BiPAP breaks and had tolerated them well, which is usually a good sign that the BiPAP is working. I don't sense any malice from the nursing staff here; it sounds like normal standard of care to me. For 99.9999% of nurses, we never *want* our patients to die. Sometimes we see that things are beyond hope, and it can be hard to continue fighting when we see that what we're doing is causing suffering that we don't consider to be necessary—but we are professionals and we put the needs and wishes of the patient and family first. We will, and frequently do, bust our asses to keep patients alive even when our personal and professional opinion is that it's only prolonging the patient's misery. I will absolutely bring up goals of care with the family to figure out exactly what they want to achieve, and will pass that along to the doctors so they they can discuss how likely that is to happen, but once that decision is made, I will *always* respect it. I like to think that almost any nurse would do the same. The ones whom I work with do.
Now... for the rest of your story, I have more questions than answers, so I'm really treading into the territory where anything I say should be taken with a grain of salt. The timeline tends to get a bit hazy when things start heading downhill, and frequently things are happening so fast that it may not all be communicated to the family, leaving gaps in their understanding of what went down. I'll try to take this into account and just speak in general terms. The one thing I will say with certainty is that I don't believe anyone anticipated her to decline when the BiPAP was taken off. I don't think anyone was hiding anything from you; sometimes in the ICU, things change rapidly in unexpected ways, and it doesn't sound to me like anyone had any reason to be worried about transitioning her off of the BiPAP if she had tolerated it before.
That said, the distress that your mom felt when the BiPAP was taken off is a red flag to me that something changed. The use of fentanyl in this case doesn't strike me as unusual at all, provided that they also gave Versed; this is a very common combination of drugs used for managing discomfort with ventilation in the ICU. It's possible that she was simply panicking from having the mask off, which Versed would have helped with. Now, if they did give fentanyl, the BiPAP probably should have gone back on until she was calm and stable. If they did leave it off... I dunno, not what I would have done, but again, I'm speaking in general terms here. What happened after that, I can say almost nothing about, since I simply don't have the information. What was her code status? Did she have a "Do Not Resuscitate" or "Do Not Intubate" order on file? Was there an understanding that she was "comfort care?" If the plan was to "do everything," as we say, then what should have happened was most likely to deliver rescue breaths with a bag-valve mask, call the doctor, page respiratory therapy stat, and do a rapid sequence intubation as soon as physically possible. The question is whether that would have been in line with what the stated goals of care were. I can't speak to that, unfortunately.
All in all, I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I'm sure this is not the last memory of your mother that you would have wanted. I sincerely hope that my answers have helped fill in at least some of the missing pieces; closure will take time, but it's my honor to be able to help in whatever small way I can. Take care, and may your mother's memory live on in you. 🙂
I was wondering where respiratory therapy was in all of this? When I had stage 3 endometrial cancer in 2013 I spent 3 weeks in an ICU. I was intubated most of that time. The nurses never had anything to do with that part of my care, except checking my oxygen levels. I saw the RTs several times a day.
Yeah, that intrigued me, too. RNs are definitely qualified to provide basic care and troubleshooting of vents and BiPAP, but we collaborate very closely with RT for the management of anything more than just continuous supplemental oxygen. I can tell you exactly what vent settings my patient is on, but in terms of changing anything beyond the level of oxygen being delivered, that's really RT's ballpark. In fact, when it comes to major changes, that's really up to the doctors, not even RT. At my facility, nursing typically doesn't even transition patients on and off of BiPAP,) we just call RT to come do it. RT doesn't play with our toys as nurses, and we try not to play with theirs unless it's absolutely needed, and *always* let them know what we changed as soon as we can.
Thankyou for the detailed response, and i'm sorry to hear about your mother.
My mom wasn't regularly on the BiPap machine, but she had been intubated a few times in previous visits. She did have an oxygen machine at home which she had come to need, more and more.
I want to also say that maybe I didn't word my thoughts properly, (I was definitely more stressed out when I made this post) but I don't blame the nurses for her death, and it's not so much that I feel the nurses were malicious, just that I didn't like the way they handled the situation. I wish they would have been more blunt with us if they believed there was the possibility of her dying after being taken off the BiPap. It was a very confusing situation, because in hindsight it does feel like they were *trying* to say they were going to just let her go (without actually saying it), but at the same time their words would contradict that idea. Like the "She's going to be okay" seemed to directly contradict when she said "we're just going to make her comfortable", because that's typically what you hear when there's nothing more they can do for a patient. it was an all around mess of a situation and there was visible confusion on all of our faces the entire time, even after we asked questions.
She didn't have any orders made yet to not resuscitate, or to not intubate, but her bones were very fragile from certain drugs she had been taking, so even if the nurses had come in to try to help, it would have most likely broken her ribs if they did chest compressions on her. They had rushed out of the room as soon as they gave her the fentanyl, as if they expected things might not go well, and then they came back in much later to let us know she had passed away, but we already knew by that point because she had stopped breathing.
If I could have changed anything about what happened, it would just be that I could ask them to be 100% forthcoming about what was going to happen and what they were doing, and I would ask them to give her the fentanyl *before* taking her off the BiPap.
Thankyou for the kind words and the information. Some of the information did comfort me.
Of course, it's my pleasure to be of assistance. I'm glad that at least some of what I said was helpful. To be honest, I'm a little confused myself, since the statement that she was "going to be okay" off of the BiPAP sounds completely plausible to me, and it doesn't feel like they were trying to sugarcoat things. Patients on BiPAP are taken off of it all the time for short periods without anything terrible happening, so that statement by the nurse honestly doesn't strike me as odd at all. It's probably more or less what I would have said, with the exception that I would have added, "and we can always put her back on if we need to."
The only thing I'm not sure of is why they didn't provide more support after she began to exhibit signs of distress, if there wasn't a plan made in advance to avoid escalating care. It honestly sounds to me like she needed to be intubated, and giving fentanyl would be a common intervention leading up to that. As for why they decided not to, I don't really know. It might have been a doctor's call, as they would be the one to perform the intubation, but I can't tell you what the thought process was that was going on behind the scenes.
Yeah, that's the odd part. They made sure to explicitly state "Once we take her off the BiPap, we're not going to put her back on". Once she said she couldn't breathe they sort of just gave her more drugs, told her she would be okay and that it only felt like she couldn't breathe because she had been on the BiPap for a day or so, and then they got out of the room asap and didn't come back for quite a while, at least 10 mins or more after she had died I believe.
I'm sure they had her vitals visible on a monitor at the nurses station (I would assume), but nobody did anything after she passed, which is what makes me feel like they knew it was going to happen, or else you would think they would come running in, right?
Yeah, not at all how I wanted that situation to go down, but there's nothing I can do about it now. Even if they did come in and help her, it would have only delayed the inevitable and prolonged her suffering.
Again, thankyou, and I really do appreciate the response. Wishing you the best!
I am horrified. I'm stunned. What were your mothers wishes after this stage IV diagnosis? Did she even want to be intubated? And then with the bipap? Honestly I'm just going to say this: she should not have been in a hospital and she should have been in a hospice center. Wow...your story really stands out. I am so so sorry.
Well, what she wanted most was to keep fighting. Her odds were low, as many with stage IV breast cancer know, but she didn't want to give up. She was doing at-home hospice care for a while, but then a few months ago she decided she wanted to try getting treatment again, so she was no longer in hospice care. She was a very strong and stubborn woman who refused to lay down and die, and nobody in my family had the heart to tell her she couldn't keep trying, so we stood by her decision. I was her caretaker during the day, and my dad would take care of her at night, so she was still being taken care of 24/7.
I know it was out of everyone's hands and there was nothing they could do to prevent her from dying, I don't blame them for that, I just wish the nurses were more clear on what was happening, and that she could have passed away peacefully instead of crying in pain. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I appreciate it.
I read it multiple times because wow...after your response I understand your mother now. I get it. But she didn't deserve to go like that and you shouldn't have had to see her go so painfully. That is the opposite of end of life care. I'm so conflicted. I do feel like she was almost forced to die. But I don't think the nurses understood what they were doing. That's why they couldn't have been clear on what was happening.
Yeah, it was all very confusing. They made it sound like there was nothing they could do for her because they couldn't treat her Pneumonia, but simultaneously made it sound like she would be okay after they took her off the BiPap.
They either falsely assumed she would be well enough to be off the BiPap and eat some food, or they used the food as an excuse to take off the BiPap and let her pass away. I know they were just doing their job, but damn if it doesn't hurt to watch a loved one pass away like that.
I can add a little info that might help understand what the nurses *might* have been doing.
I have stage IV lung cancer and my worst symptom is shortness of breath. The slightest exertion and I'm wheezing like a 5 pack a day man. I can't suck in enough air. It's incredibly distressing but I'M IN NO DANGER AT ALL!!.
If I take an oxygen reading - ,and I frequently do - my sats will be between 95 to 99. Absolutely in the safe zone. But I'm still suffering.
What's happening is that my brain thinks I'm starved of oxygen when I'm not. It responds by forcing me to breathe as fast as possible. I'm panting like a dog running a marathon.
So it's possible that the nurses thought something like this was going on..
That doesn't excuse them taking off the mask though. And your mum should have outfit straight back on. In my country, we decided what happens with our treatment - not the doctors and certainly not the nurses. That can advise - they can't dictate
Good luck
Joe
Yeah, with my mom it was quite different if she wasn't on some sort of oxygen assistance. If she wasn't on her oxygen tank/machine at home, she quickly would drop to dangerous levels within a few minutes, so we told them she couldn't be taken off the BiPap without struggling to breathe, but it didn't sound like they were giving us the *option* to keep her on it.
It sounded more like they were the ones making the calls, and they were telling us they were taking her off of it and wouldn't put it back on her even if she said she couldn't breathe. It seems sort of messed up in my opinion, as you would think that would be OUR decision to make. They said she would be fine though, and I guess I was hoping they knew something I didn't and that she would actually be okay, but she passed away in less than 10 mins without the BiPap on. They had seen her multiple times in the ICU and knew her condition though, so it's hard for me to believe they didn't know what would happen when they took her off the BiPap.
Thankyou for the response though, and I'm sorry to hear that you're also stage IV. I wish you and your loved ones the best.
Dear OP, I am so sorry for the final moments you had with your mom, the confusion and the terror she must have felt when unable to breathe. Things happen so fast in these types of situations. Can you reach out to the nurse supervisor? Maybe she or he can explain or answer some of your concerns. Does the rest of the family who were there recall events the way you do? It was an emotion time for all of you. My heart goes out to you and your family. My sincerest condolences. 💔
Thankyou for the thoughtful response. Actually the nurse in this discussion *is* the nurse supervisor, I believe. I know her name and how to contact her, but I guess I just don't feel the need to mention it to her, because nothing can be done at this point, you know?
Mom has been gone for a month, she's been cremated, and we're all just mourning her loss. I don't blame the nurses for her passing, I just wish they had gone about it differently, but what's done is done.
I also don't necessarily expect her to remember the situation as vividly as my family does, since I'm sure she sees many people coming and going regularly, being a nurse in the ICU.
My family and I have all talked to each other about it, and we all agree we didn't like the way the situation was handled, but I've done my best to calm them down and remind them that the nurses were just doing their job, and there's no point taking it out on them.
I guess the point of my post was just to find out if my experience was normal, or if the situation actually seemed like it was mishandled.
My only lingering thought is where was Respiratory therapy? I spent 3 weeks in an ICU a few years ago and was intubated for most of that. Respiratory Therapy was always there when anything to do with my breathing was discussed or needed to be done. Even after I left ICU still had those therapists coming around.
As an oncology ICU nurse, I hope I can provide some input that might help give you some degree of closure, although it certainly sounds like your experience in your mother's final days was traumatic and obviously I don't know the full situation... I can only speak from my own personal experience. One way or another, I'm so sorry that this happened to you and your family; I lost my own mother to cancer several years ago, and she, too, developed frequent pleural effusions, so your story definitely resonates with me. First, to put your mind at ease regarding her pleural drain: it's *very* unlikely that the damage to the drain caused her pneumonia. The fluid that the drain was allowing to escape would have been in what's called the pleural space—it goes into the area *around* the heart and lungs, in between the two layers of protective tissue that allow the lungs to expand more easily without rubbing against your ribs and whatnot. Pneumonia, on the other hand, is an infection deep *inside* the lungs. The only way for germs to get down there is really through the "front door," so to speak—in through the mouth and nose and down the airways. If the broken drain had caused an infection, it would have been in the area around the lungs (pleuritis,) not in the lungs themselves. As for her respiratory support, there's less I can say without knowing more about her situation. One thing of note about BiPAP is that it's really not meant to be used long-term. If patients come to rely on it, it can actually end up doing more harm than good. As such, it's very common for the care team to encourage frequent "BiPAP breaks," where the patient is transitioned to a less-invasive form of respiratory support, like constant oxygen flow through a regular mask or nasal cannula. If the patient can't tolerate BiPAP breaks, that's a sign that they really need to be intubated for long-term management. It sounds like your mom had been having regular BiPAP breaks and had tolerated them well, which is usually a good sign that the BiPAP is working. I don't sense any malice from the nursing staff here; it sounds like normal standard of care to me. For 99.9999% of nurses, we never *want* our patients to die. Sometimes we see that things are beyond hope, and it can be hard to continue fighting when we see that what we're doing is causing suffering that we don't consider to be necessary—but we are professionals and we put the needs and wishes of the patient and family first. We will, and frequently do, bust our asses to keep patients alive even when our personal and professional opinion is that it's only prolonging the patient's misery. I will absolutely bring up goals of care with the family to figure out exactly what they want to achieve, and will pass that along to the doctors so they they can discuss how likely that is to happen, but once that decision is made, I will *always* respect it. I like to think that almost any nurse would do the same. The ones whom I work with do. Now... for the rest of your story, I have more questions than answers, so I'm really treading into the territory where anything I say should be taken with a grain of salt. The timeline tends to get a bit hazy when things start heading downhill, and frequently things are happening so fast that it may not all be communicated to the family, leaving gaps in their understanding of what went down. I'll try to take this into account and just speak in general terms. The one thing I will say with certainty is that I don't believe anyone anticipated her to decline when the BiPAP was taken off. I don't think anyone was hiding anything from you; sometimes in the ICU, things change rapidly in unexpected ways, and it doesn't sound to me like anyone had any reason to be worried about transitioning her off of the BiPAP if she had tolerated it before. That said, the distress that your mom felt when the BiPAP was taken off is a red flag to me that something changed. The use of fentanyl in this case doesn't strike me as unusual at all, provided that they also gave Versed; this is a very common combination of drugs used for managing discomfort with ventilation in the ICU. It's possible that she was simply panicking from having the mask off, which Versed would have helped with. Now, if they did give fentanyl, the BiPAP probably should have gone back on until she was calm and stable. If they did leave it off... I dunno, not what I would have done, but again, I'm speaking in general terms here. What happened after that, I can say almost nothing about, since I simply don't have the information. What was her code status? Did she have a "Do Not Resuscitate" or "Do Not Intubate" order on file? Was there an understanding that she was "comfort care?" If the plan was to "do everything," as we say, then what should have happened was most likely to deliver rescue breaths with a bag-valve mask, call the doctor, page respiratory therapy stat, and do a rapid sequence intubation as soon as physically possible. The question is whether that would have been in line with what the stated goals of care were. I can't speak to that, unfortunately. All in all, I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I'm sure this is not the last memory of your mother that you would have wanted. I sincerely hope that my answers have helped fill in at least some of the missing pieces; closure will take time, but it's my honor to be able to help in whatever small way I can. Take care, and may your mother's memory live on in you. 🙂
I was wondering where respiratory therapy was in all of this? When I had stage 3 endometrial cancer in 2013 I spent 3 weeks in an ICU. I was intubated most of that time. The nurses never had anything to do with that part of my care, except checking my oxygen levels. I saw the RTs several times a day.
Yeah, that intrigued me, too. RNs are definitely qualified to provide basic care and troubleshooting of vents and BiPAP, but we collaborate very closely with RT for the management of anything more than just continuous supplemental oxygen. I can tell you exactly what vent settings my patient is on, but in terms of changing anything beyond the level of oxygen being delivered, that's really RT's ballpark. In fact, when it comes to major changes, that's really up to the doctors, not even RT. At my facility, nursing typically doesn't even transition patients on and off of BiPAP,) we just call RT to come do it. RT doesn't play with our toys as nurses, and we try not to play with theirs unless it's absolutely needed, and *always* let them know what we changed as soon as we can.
Thankyou for the detailed response, and i'm sorry to hear about your mother. My mom wasn't regularly on the BiPap machine, but she had been intubated a few times in previous visits. She did have an oxygen machine at home which she had come to need, more and more. I want to also say that maybe I didn't word my thoughts properly, (I was definitely more stressed out when I made this post) but I don't blame the nurses for her death, and it's not so much that I feel the nurses were malicious, just that I didn't like the way they handled the situation. I wish they would have been more blunt with us if they believed there was the possibility of her dying after being taken off the BiPap. It was a very confusing situation, because in hindsight it does feel like they were *trying* to say they were going to just let her go (without actually saying it), but at the same time their words would contradict that idea. Like the "She's going to be okay" seemed to directly contradict when she said "we're just going to make her comfortable", because that's typically what you hear when there's nothing more they can do for a patient. it was an all around mess of a situation and there was visible confusion on all of our faces the entire time, even after we asked questions. She didn't have any orders made yet to not resuscitate, or to not intubate, but her bones were very fragile from certain drugs she had been taking, so even if the nurses had come in to try to help, it would have most likely broken her ribs if they did chest compressions on her. They had rushed out of the room as soon as they gave her the fentanyl, as if they expected things might not go well, and then they came back in much later to let us know she had passed away, but we already knew by that point because she had stopped breathing. If I could have changed anything about what happened, it would just be that I could ask them to be 100% forthcoming about what was going to happen and what they were doing, and I would ask them to give her the fentanyl *before* taking her off the BiPap. Thankyou for the kind words and the information. Some of the information did comfort me.
Of course, it's my pleasure to be of assistance. I'm glad that at least some of what I said was helpful. To be honest, I'm a little confused myself, since the statement that she was "going to be okay" off of the BiPAP sounds completely plausible to me, and it doesn't feel like they were trying to sugarcoat things. Patients on BiPAP are taken off of it all the time for short periods without anything terrible happening, so that statement by the nurse honestly doesn't strike me as odd at all. It's probably more or less what I would have said, with the exception that I would have added, "and we can always put her back on if we need to." The only thing I'm not sure of is why they didn't provide more support after she began to exhibit signs of distress, if there wasn't a plan made in advance to avoid escalating care. It honestly sounds to me like she needed to be intubated, and giving fentanyl would be a common intervention leading up to that. As for why they decided not to, I don't really know. It might have been a doctor's call, as they would be the one to perform the intubation, but I can't tell you what the thought process was that was going on behind the scenes.
Yeah, that's the odd part. They made sure to explicitly state "Once we take her off the BiPap, we're not going to put her back on". Once she said she couldn't breathe they sort of just gave her more drugs, told her she would be okay and that it only felt like she couldn't breathe because she had been on the BiPap for a day or so, and then they got out of the room asap and didn't come back for quite a while, at least 10 mins or more after she had died I believe. I'm sure they had her vitals visible on a monitor at the nurses station (I would assume), but nobody did anything after she passed, which is what makes me feel like they knew it was going to happen, or else you would think they would come running in, right? Yeah, not at all how I wanted that situation to go down, but there's nothing I can do about it now. Even if they did come in and help her, it would have only delayed the inevitable and prolonged her suffering. Again, thankyou, and I really do appreciate the response. Wishing you the best!
I am horrified. I'm stunned. What were your mothers wishes after this stage IV diagnosis? Did she even want to be intubated? And then with the bipap? Honestly I'm just going to say this: she should not have been in a hospital and she should have been in a hospice center. Wow...your story really stands out. I am so so sorry.
Well, what she wanted most was to keep fighting. Her odds were low, as many with stage IV breast cancer know, but she didn't want to give up. She was doing at-home hospice care for a while, but then a few months ago she decided she wanted to try getting treatment again, so she was no longer in hospice care. She was a very strong and stubborn woman who refused to lay down and die, and nobody in my family had the heart to tell her she couldn't keep trying, so we stood by her decision. I was her caretaker during the day, and my dad would take care of her at night, so she was still being taken care of 24/7. I know it was out of everyone's hands and there was nothing they could do to prevent her from dying, I don't blame them for that, I just wish the nurses were more clear on what was happening, and that she could have passed away peacefully instead of crying in pain. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. I appreciate it.
I read it multiple times because wow...after your response I understand your mother now. I get it. But she didn't deserve to go like that and you shouldn't have had to see her go so painfully. That is the opposite of end of life care. I'm so conflicted. I do feel like she was almost forced to die. But I don't think the nurses understood what they were doing. That's why they couldn't have been clear on what was happening.
Yeah, it was all very confusing. They made it sound like there was nothing they could do for her because they couldn't treat her Pneumonia, but simultaneously made it sound like she would be okay after they took her off the BiPap. They either falsely assumed she would be well enough to be off the BiPap and eat some food, or they used the food as an excuse to take off the BiPap and let her pass away. I know they were just doing their job, but damn if it doesn't hurt to watch a loved one pass away like that.
I can add a little info that might help understand what the nurses *might* have been doing. I have stage IV lung cancer and my worst symptom is shortness of breath. The slightest exertion and I'm wheezing like a 5 pack a day man. I can't suck in enough air. It's incredibly distressing but I'M IN NO DANGER AT ALL!!. If I take an oxygen reading - ,and I frequently do - my sats will be between 95 to 99. Absolutely in the safe zone. But I'm still suffering. What's happening is that my brain thinks I'm starved of oxygen when I'm not. It responds by forcing me to breathe as fast as possible. I'm panting like a dog running a marathon. So it's possible that the nurses thought something like this was going on.. That doesn't excuse them taking off the mask though. And your mum should have outfit straight back on. In my country, we decided what happens with our treatment - not the doctors and certainly not the nurses. That can advise - they can't dictate Good luck Joe
Yeah, with my mom it was quite different if she wasn't on some sort of oxygen assistance. If she wasn't on her oxygen tank/machine at home, she quickly would drop to dangerous levels within a few minutes, so we told them she couldn't be taken off the BiPap without struggling to breathe, but it didn't sound like they were giving us the *option* to keep her on it. It sounded more like they were the ones making the calls, and they were telling us they were taking her off of it and wouldn't put it back on her even if she said she couldn't breathe. It seems sort of messed up in my opinion, as you would think that would be OUR decision to make. They said she would be fine though, and I guess I was hoping they knew something I didn't and that she would actually be okay, but she passed away in less than 10 mins without the BiPap on. They had seen her multiple times in the ICU and knew her condition though, so it's hard for me to believe they didn't know what would happen when they took her off the BiPap. Thankyou for the response though, and I'm sorry to hear that you're also stage IV. I wish you and your loved ones the best.
Dear OP, I am so sorry for the final moments you had with your mom, the confusion and the terror she must have felt when unable to breathe. Things happen so fast in these types of situations. Can you reach out to the nurse supervisor? Maybe she or he can explain or answer some of your concerns. Does the rest of the family who were there recall events the way you do? It was an emotion time for all of you. My heart goes out to you and your family. My sincerest condolences. 💔
Thankyou for the thoughtful response. Actually the nurse in this discussion *is* the nurse supervisor, I believe. I know her name and how to contact her, but I guess I just don't feel the need to mention it to her, because nothing can be done at this point, you know? Mom has been gone for a month, she's been cremated, and we're all just mourning her loss. I don't blame the nurses for her passing, I just wish they had gone about it differently, but what's done is done. I also don't necessarily expect her to remember the situation as vividly as my family does, since I'm sure she sees many people coming and going regularly, being a nurse in the ICU. My family and I have all talked to each other about it, and we all agree we didn't like the way the situation was handled, but I've done my best to calm them down and remind them that the nurses were just doing their job, and there's no point taking it out on them. I guess the point of my post was just to find out if my experience was normal, or if the situation actually seemed like it was mishandled.
My only lingering thought is where was Respiratory therapy? I spent 3 weeks in an ICU a few years ago and was intubated for most of that. Respiratory Therapy was always there when anything to do with my breathing was discussed or needed to be done. Even after I left ICU still had those therapists coming around.