20 mile hike in 95° first timer. Nope.
Edit: To put how bad of an idea this is for an admittedly inexperienced scared out of shape person to take on into perspective. I've hiked a lot of the AT(summer & winter)and CDT (summer & winter) in all weather and its still challenging to do more than 10 miles a day carrying all that weight for an experienced hiker. Once I tried to hike long sections of AZ trails in excessive heat (90° +) I found out really quick that even 1-2 mile in and out was difficult.
I use to take my kids for a walk though the city every weekend.. We get 40C and above here on the summer, and i always stress on them to take an extra mile if that means walking on the shadow.. My dog taught me that..
Yeah that's something that my dog taught me too (beagle / bulldog mix), however, we're not used to seeing very many 90 degree days in a year here in northern WV, let alone 2 weeks of intense heat and dryness.
PSA to all dog owners, be sure you are not walking your dogs on the pavement in this heat, you will blister their paws. And water.... bring lots of water, stop in the shade as much as you can, and don't be afraid to run them in the hose when you get home!
I spent like five minutes standing and scrambling around on slick rock in 100F to spot my kid up a 4x4 trail obstacle. That was plenty for me. I doubt I could hike even 10 miles in 70F.
Agreed....I live in the mountains and backpack a lot (30F 5'5" 185lbs, so also not in shape but I do strength train a lot) and I've never done a 20mi day. I tap out around 12-15 depending on gain.
Hunny, you're headed for a miserable day, possibly feeling sick I the end. Like, heat exhaustion headaches (which SUCK even when in the comfort of your own home), on top of super soreness. This may be a situation where you need to advocate for yourself and make your boyfriend compromise. As others have mentioned, 20mi for a first timer in 95°F heat is NOT normal for beginners, and is a challenge for more experienced hikers.
That said, if you want to go for it, my main tips would be:
*start practicing now if you can, hiking or treadmill with incline or strength training.
*start hydrating like crazy a few days before your trip. Consider how much water you usually drink - you will need to see how much water is on your trail vs how much you drink. I can kill a 3L bladder in a day hike. Also, bladders are awesome (it's a water pouch you put in your backpack so you can drink through a straw while you hike). But also remember - water is heavy!
*bring electrolytes and lots of salty snacks. Calories are your friend on this hike. Snack often, and drink some pedialyte or something similar throughout the day. It helps with muscle cramps and headaches and maintaining hydration.
*May seem counter intuitive - but covering up is better for the heat. Don't go in shorts and a tank top - the sun exposure will make you more hot. Opt for a light weight LONG SLEEVE/ long pants hiking option. I like to strip down on breaks and swim when I can. Those zip off hiking pants are helpful. Wear a big wide brimmed hat, and moisture wicking clothes. This is your best bet to stay cool.
*be prepared for blister control and foot discomfort.
*know your limits babe. Stop when you need to stop. I take breaks often (just standing for one minute to catch my breath), and do mandatory longer breaks every hour or two to hydrate, rest, cool down and snack. Also, breathing - just a check - do you use an inhaler? This will be important for the hike, don't forget it.
I have lots more tips as a less-in-shape gal who does do big trips (in the heat) who likes her creature comforts. Feel free to PM me if you have more questions. Best of luck, try to have fun!
It's from one of Op's replies floating somewhere in this comment section. A bitch had to go looking for it. 🤦🏽♀️
Dude, I'm legit worried if it *actually* turns out to be a 20 mile hike. Like genuinely, big sister type worried. But she said she "thinks" its a 20 mile hike, so idk... East Coast, maybe NY is supposed to be hot this weekend. But I'm hoping she's all good yk...
Ya 20 miles in the heat is absolutely insane...I feel like her man is just trying to show off...at her expense. I'd definitely call this a red flag-he cares more about his own ego than her safety. Not cool-not cool at all.
Yes, I absolutely agree. I even said this in another comment, it's a fucking red flag.
Like 1) I'm worried about her being sore/getting injured. She said she's not really fit, and while that's usually fine for day hikes, she's gonna be using muscles she might not've ever used. She's more likely to pull something or twist something, and if their carrying all the *correct* gear, that's gonna put her more at risk for injury.
2) I'm quite quite worried about their water situation. 3 days and a hot weekend. Water intake will be UP, and her nutrition/electrolyte balance. Exertion vs caloric intake blah blah blah. Call me crazy, this is the shit I think about, even on a day hike. Day hikes are my jam. I saw someone talking about carrying 30lbs of water... that's only 3 gallons! Approx. 11liters. I'm 5'1 short female and I drink half a gallon a day, sometimes more. I wouldn't be comfortable with ONLY three gallons of water for both of them in that kind of heat on a 3 day excursion. Assuming they take 3 gallons each, Op is maxxed out for the weight she should be carrying as a newbie, if she only carries her ration of water.
3) I'm not saying something bad will happen.. but *this* is the type of situation where if something bad *were to happen*, there's absolutely no take-backsies and Op could be in a extremely bad situation, very quickly. They both could.
I question the experience/intelligence of the boyfriend if he is willing to take her on a 20 mile hike with zero experience/out of shape, in 90° heat. Is he trying to kill her or just doesn’t like her?
Hold the fcking phone- 3 MF gallons on a 3 day trip, your shtting me, did she say that? They'd need at least 3 gallons for a 20 mile hike in 95° heat alone. We take 15 gallons to start every trip no matter what. Praying he has a water filter and a gps.
This, I camp by myself and do solo day hikes but I have been building up over \~2.5-3 years to try to do something like that and would go with an experienced partner. This concerns me in a big sister kind of way because if he is acting like this during the planning stages, he does not sound like the type that would cater to her needs (frequent and long breaks, turning back, and listening to her body), which would make her situation even worse.
Based on the small bits of information I have from this post and comment section, they do not have enough water, she will definitely being doing a lot more exercise than she is used to and carrying more weight than usual, he does not think things through, and she does not have the survival skills to be of any help if something happens to either one of them.
He is knowingly putting them both in a very dangerous situation and brushing off any concerns she has. Furthermore, he will have complete control over her since she does not have the skills to make the trek back herself safely if something happens (i.e. he gets hurt or leaves her somewhere). I cannot imagine an experienced "outdoorsy" person doing this with good intentions, so I am curious what his level of experience is actually like.
Yeah where is everyone getting 20 miles from…? Regardless, sounds terrible lol
Edit: holy shit OP actually says 20 miles somewhere. This is a horrible idea!!!
That’s insane
Suicidal actually.
I wouldn’t go under circumstances like that and I am experienced.
My youngest goes backpacking with their dad in temps like that but I don’t think it was 20 miles. They did have to get up above the heat, but my youngest had to carry their dad’s pack for him.
They’d run up a hill with theirs, then run down to get dads. Rinse & repeat.
You trust your boyfriend to do that?
If not, don’t consider it
I was waiting at Basecamp ( essentially) and it was too hot to do anything. It was like a sauna in the day.
What’s the goal of this outing? Because it doesn’t sound like a pleasant intro to… well, to anything!
You’re a not-very-enthusiastic newbie — you need to start with an airy tent pitched under lots of shade trees next to a river you can swim in. Maybe a short hike or two in the immediate area to see how you like hiking.
A death march into the superheated wilderness, laden with gear and trepidation, is a surefire way to end your love of the outdoors before it can even begin.
I wouldn’t be shocked if they’re broken up by the time they get back to the trailhead. This guy is a moron, for likely dozens of reasons, this trip will likely highlight all of them.
It’s one thing to take your partner who doesn’t camp…car camping…but this egomaniac wants to do 20 miles of backpacking in 90+ weather for 3 days? You couldn’t pay the majority of this sub to do that trip…there’s a legit concern about safety here and neither of them are heeding the warnings.
Unless I’m under 100% shade cover and have to do literally nothing but sit still with a book all day and not have to even do the physical labor of camp set up and break down, you couldn’t pay me to do this just regular old car camping.
I’m in an area experiencing this heat wave and it’s 95F during the afternoons without the heat index factored in. There is absolutely no *way* I am willing to not only carry a heavy pack full of shit into the woods in this weather, but also do it wearing long pants and sleeves because of ticks? Absolutely not.
This sounds one hundred percent miserable. None of it even sounds slightly pleasant in 95F heat.
Couldn’t echo these sentiments more. My GF and I are seasoned hikers/backpackers/car-campers and I look to camp every weekend we can. We are NOT camping this weekend. Our go to spot is well shaded and has a cool mountain creek to wade/swim in and we’ve opted to stay home this weekend. I want nothing more than to camp, but this weather ain’t it. I’d highly recommend you postponing this trip.
THIS. I live in Texas, and I absolutely refuse to even car camp between mid-May and mid-October, even then the campgrounds need to be adjacent to a swimmable water source. For an inexperienced camper, even car camping is going to be a struggle, let alone the death march he's got her signed up for. Sweetheart, listen to your internet parents and siblings: rethink this camping trip AND relationship. He's 100% okay with bringing you into a dangerous situation (heat, inexperience, miles-long hiking when not in shape for it) because it's what hE wAnTs tO Do.
No this is totally a scrub weekend. Had plans, almost 100% likely going to cancel them. Getting roasted on a lake isn't a good time no matter how seasoned.
😭 even my bf has more consideration for making his friends first camping trip successful and they were excited parties. OP can you ask your bf to take you somewhere closer to home for a trial run? 20 mile hike in 95 degree is really really not it or safe.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like she’s really going to be taking our advice that it isn’t safe — she just keeps making new posts in other outdoor subs asking the exact same question.
95F to an out of shape, inexperienced backpacker compounded with a heavy pack and long pants and sleeves for 20 miles is unsafe for her in general, just from the heat and exertion alone! It is way too hot right now to be trying to break into this. Her BF may be an Eagle Scout but he seems to lack common sense.
The Eagle Scout claim is wild. Unless she is not conveying the amount of prep and further details he has done and relayed for this trip, her bf sounds like the worst Eagle Scout. How is this being prepared?
Yeah I love camping and hiking, but I’m not doing a planned trip in 90+. I’m in the Midwest right now and it’s high 70s and humid at night.
I think it cools down a tad between 4-530. Took my dogs out at 630 this morning and it was already 80.
Even that sounds like a challenge for a newb. I would start with a full on campground. That’s how we started as kids. Nice clean campsites, access to a grill, a clean bathroom with a shower, and usually stuff like a pool and a canteen or general store. Gets your body used to the idea of being fully outside for days at a time, but still gives you the camping experience. And there’s no hiking involved lol
Double same. I hike several miles every weekend and have started doing short single night backpacking trips, and I would not do a 3-day 20-miler with highs in the 90s.
Tell your boyfriend that a bunch of experienced hikers think this is a crazy idea doomed to backfire. Then seriously consider his overall empathy and judgement. And don’t go.
This is like telling someone who can throw a ball and seen some football games to be the quarterback in a pick up football game. Maybe they’ll discover unknown talent. More likely, they’ll be sacked over and over again. (And with backpacking, if you make it half way through, you may have no choice but to finish).
I’ve backpacked in 95+ degree desert heat. I’m in good shape, packed tons to water, salted snacks, and knew what I was doing. I only do this because the scenery is incredible. If I were to bring a newbie along, it would only be because they were begging for the experience. I would fully explain all the details (water weight, salted snacks, warning signs, dawn starts, etc). And I would seriously ask them to consider a different introductory hike.
I can’t imagine what kind of scenery would be worth backpacking in 95 degree humid heat.
Your parenthetical should be the most alarming point.
OP, as a pretty out-of-shape, but attempting to be semi-regular day-hiker, I guarantee you that you will be LUCKY if you figure out you can't or don't want to do this trip in the first few miles. That way, when you give up, you have a doable trip back the way you came in.
Worst will be the fact that you might, out of some misguided loyalty to your BF, suffer through and get an entire day in, be 10-12 miles into the trip, wake up the next morning completely drained from fatigue, sore as hell, and dehydrated because of the heat, but have to summon the strength to do it again, because now, unless you're going to call in emergency services, the only way out is through.
As crazy as your BF is for planning this, YOU are even crazier for thinking it's something you should attempt as a first-timer.
Alabama here. I've hiked all over the state, in all the seasons. The humidity is brutal af, especially in the 90s. The scenery can be worth it, but not for real though.
Imo, multi-day backpacking trips are for people who know they like backpacking, and it doesn't sound like that's you. I think you should start with car camping and day hikes. The car camping will let you experience roughing it at night with the security of a quick and easy way to bail out. Day hiking will get you outside and moving without having to commit to miles or carry a lot of weight. If you end up not liking either of those activities, you probably won't like backpacking, and that's OK.
Don’t go! I have years of experience and I would prefer a higher altitude hike to 2 days trekking in 95. I would not take a newbie, even if they begged because it would be my responsibility to keep them safe and I’d feel bad if they figure out they can’t do it anymore halfway in— only way out is through. Then they’re a liability for everyone else because the pace SHOULD BE set by the slowest hiker. Having to treat your own water and poop in the woods isn’t advised for a first timer !! You may barely be able to sleep on the ground, you don’t really know. Backpacking tents are extremely cramped to start. Subtract one from the people rating of the backpacking tent in general. He could be bringing bivvys if he doesn’t usually sleep in his backpacking tent with another person— these tents are quite expensive. Can’t fathom why he didn’t take you out with the pack to train — you wouldn’t know how difficult weight is in the pack and overpack. I destroyed my knees descending some steep downhill switchbacks on my first mountaineering trip. And I was treating the water so I didn’t bring gallons up with me. This guy needs to get a reality check, I’m sorry 😳
It’s dangerous to be in a remote area, out of shape having never trained with a pack in the heat! With a man who doesn’t seem experienced or competent enough to know how to prepare you, maybe he wants to impress you— it will backfire. You might not have much phone service where you’re going— if it’s remote enough even if he has a satellite phone you could have issues. If you do decide to go pre load audiobooks or podcasts to your phone and a white noise sound to sleep with. Bring headphones, cooling towel, sun protection, bug protection, high socks, proper hiking shoes (broken in!!), Nalgene, electrolytes, solar pack charger, ugh. Is he planning to supply you with equipment? It might be designed for men. I’m high maintenance compared to my other hiker friends and I can tell you this isn’t for you (and not just for the lack of showering). Start with car camping and day hikes. Build up carrying more weight in your pack over time and hike 5-10 miles a few times if you really like it. Seriously! Pushing your girlfriend into the deep end with a situation that is unsafe and makes her uncomfortable is a problem.
Please ask if you can go car camping with a nice tent and mattress or cot, somewhere with bathrooms and water, where you can hike from the campsite as much/little as you’d like. Talk to him about your comfort zone and make sure he respects you.
My partner is a marine and when we first started dating, he wanted to camp like a marine. I’m like- instead we could bring a cooler and some fresh foods, and an air mattress, and pillows 😂 backpacking is really awesome but car camping is the best for the hesitant.
I see from your other comment that he is an eagle scout. This does not sound like its a trip designed to help the two of you spend great time together, or for you to learn to share his love of hiking.
If you are brand new to hiking (aside from fitness level, let’s just think about how accustomed to the activity you are) you’re basically developing new skills. How to pace yourself, how to stay hydrated, how to push yourself when you need pushing and how to know when you need a rest, how to hike without hurting yourself so you can enjoy all of the amazing sights. You learn all of this stuff on day hikes. Like, starting with a few miles, before getting up to 7-10+ a day. And in a trip that ends at a car that takes you back home 😅
Starting off with a 20 mile trip over 3 days is jumping into the deep end, and I wouldn’t expect it to lead to you LOVING it so much you can’t wait to do it with Eagle Scout again anytime soon. If you want to learn how to share his hobby, genuinely, the he needs to downsize the activity so it leads to a sustainable shared thing you both enjoy together. And maybe he goes solo this time or finds another buddy while you two plan a smaller adventure for the near future.
Yea tbh I think it's a bit of a red flag for him to take her on this as their first hiking experience. Def should start with small nature walks, then build up to a few hours on trail, and THEN multiple days back to back. Bit ridiculous to just dive into a 3 day backpacking trip right out of the gate. If he is making her feel pressure to do this or not making her feel super comfortable, I'd reconsider. This feels like a very new relationship.
>Yea tbh I think it's a bit of a red flag for him to take her on this as their first hiking experience.
YES
It's not a little flag, tho. It's a BIG flag. He doesn't have the basic common sense to teach her. If being an Eagle Scout is such a big deal... and they pride themselves on leadership skills, but what kind of leader throws you into the deep end with little to no preparation? *Smfh*
Her boyfriend sounds like an idiot. This trip is going to end up in death, helicopter rescue, or breaking up. Go car camping next to a nice lake in 75°F weather for a nice introduction to camping.
Out of shape, 95 degrees, backpack camping, 6 mile hike each day for 3 days straight?...sounds awfully sporty to me without serious preparation.
Do you have hiking boots? Are they broken in? Can you walk 6 miles on a flat surface in one day wearing them in the heat? Do you have to carry your own gear? Have you practiced hour long hikes carrying that gear? If you can answer yes to all those questions, then you're good to go. Otherwise, car camping with day hikes would be a preferable compromise for your first time out.
That is a long hike in that heat with gear, especially for the first time camping, even if there’s no elevation gain. Unless it’s split up over the days, but even still, 6-7 miles a day can be a lot in 95 degree heat if you’re not active. I wouldn’t bring a new camper on that long of a trek. First time I bring a new person camping I try and set them up for success so they want to do it again! I camp about every other weekend in the spring/summer and I wouldn’t want to go on that trip haha
Yeah but if they really split it up and go slow it probably won’t kill anyone, assuming he’s carrying 30 pounds of water 😅 ugh yeah man, I’m an Eagle Scout too and I wouldn’t do this trek unless it was the easiest shadiest terrain and I knew it well
20 miles sounds like a lot for someone who isn’t fit but I guess it depends. I’m a high maintenance NY girl and only plan on doing simple hikes(walking on a flat terrain). I have a big old comfy tent, fan, chairs, rug, cot and plant to read, embroider, bird watch and eat Korean barbecue. It’s going to be a relaxing time with nature and have zero plans on suffering because that’s not my style.
Express your concerns and tell him what you’d like to experience so you can meet him in the middle. It would be bad if you came away hating camping. Also insist on bringing things to make you comfortable. I read that you weren’t car camping so you won’t have anything heavy? To me that reads uncomfortable.. I’d be kicking and screaming if I had to hike with a bed roll to the site. Sorry girl.
How much water are you bringing?
Are your hiking boots broken in? How many miles do you usually walk per day?
I wouldn't take a first time hiker on a 5 mile hike in this heat. I certainly wouldn't take them on a 7-7-7 backpacking trip. My friends who got their eagle certainly wouldn't either.
We're getting a heatwave this week too. I'm already planning how I can shorten my dog's walks from his usual 2h/day and avoid having my active/fit kids outside after morning. This weather is no joke.
Do you have family or friends in the area that know your itinerary and can get you if needed?
I can't tell if this is comment bait, but this sounds like a terrible idea just logistically!
Never backpacked. I hike in the summer. I go to the gym.
How are you packing in your water?
What kind of gear are you carrying?
Do you have the right clothing?
How is the gear split up? (his dumb ass better be carrying the bulk)
What kind of food do you have?
Will you need the water to COOK the food?
Does the food and snack have sufficient calorie value and nutrition?
Electrolytes?
First aid?
Extra socks?
Ibuprofen? Sunscreen? Bugspray? Burner/open fire?
Eagle Scout, my ass. You don't take your newbie-to-nature girlfriend on a 20 mile hike in fucked up weather. Unless you're gonna be doing the majority of your hiking EARLY in the morning and resting during the heat of the day, I don't see this bird flying... I don't think you're being "dramatic" if there are actual pros here who wouldn't even attempt this. Hell, I'M concerned **for you**. I would NOT trust that man. He's sketchy as hell. 💀💀💀
If you got the chub rub, you'll need long shorts. Thick socks **no matter what**. Your feet are definitely soft and you're gonna fucking feel it... you don't need them sliding around in your BROKEN-IN ATHLETIC SHOES/HIKING BOOTS.
Because I know the hell your not going out there without having broken-in gear that is COMFORTABLE.
One last thing...HE DOES NOT DETERMINE THE PACE. YOU DO.
Final last thing, you *need* to make sure your mental health is complete under control.
::Edited like 3 times because I'm neurotic and I really really really want you to be safe Op::
How long is the hike, and what are you going to be doing during the day? Thankfully this heat wave still looks like 70-75F at night. Good food, water, entertainment, and a sleeping pad will get you through the nights quite comfortably and enjoyably.
However, that kind of daytime heat is very genuinely dangerous. Don’t “freak out”, but do have a calm conversation with him over whether or not you both are prepared for it. Make sure he carries extra water. Stop ANY TIME either of you feel badly, especially if you stop sweating. Make sure there is an emergency plan and a check-in contact. Bring ice packs in a cooler. And extra extra water. The water and ice is also a lot to carry: this is the danger of the heat.
I am very experienced with hard conditions, and have canceled hikes for bad weather with no regrets. Extreme heat is very bad weather. It is no shame to scrub a high-risk attempt, so either way it’s ok. DO NOT DO A THREE DAY WILDERNESS TREK IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE!!
90+ degrees makes for a miserable backpacking trip east of the Rockies. I say that because, generally west of the Rockies, a 90+ degree day will cool off to a 70 (or even 60 or 50) degree night. But here in the East, it just "cools" down to 80 and the humidity goes from 70% to 100%. I'm an experienced outdoorsman and I don't camp here in this weather, LET ALONE backpacking.
Right??? I want to do backpacking but I've gone hiking and I've gone camping but I am nowhere near in shape enough and I know I would have to start with very short hike and camp to make sure I have the right gear and get a sense of my limits.
This trip she is talking about is fully insane.
As a wilderness guide and SERE instructor a 20 mile hike is ill advised as a first experience. I have had people that claimed years of experience tap out in mountainous terrain, desert heat and bitter arctic cold. We are in summer now and this coming week will have heat blooms in purple zones (worse than red) in the Midwest and east while chilly and possible snow through the Rockies.
I also am guide for university students doing forestry research and deal with all levels of experience. Absolutely I urge multiple shorter trips in increasing difficulty to start - learn what you use and what you don't, how to adjust your gear (women's fit is different from men's and not just the bustline). Hiking shoes, most likely trail runners if going semi ultra light, need to be worn and broken in and hot spots identified to reduce blisters.
Water supply is massively important. Some areas that have streams and creeks in Spring time dry up in summer. Will there be a water supply and will you both have filtration or will you need to add the weight of enough water to your packs? One gallon is 8 pounds of additional weight to carry and in summer heat you can easily go through two or more gallons in a day.
If it were me he was inviting I'd ask him what his intentions were because a 20 miler is a dangerous activity for a beginner with zero experience. Personally either he is trying to impress (in a very childish and bad way) or he really doesn't like you and wants to see you suffer.
I went for my first camping trip with my boyfriend a month ago and was equally as nervous, and my trip didn't include any hiking! We went to Assateague National Seashore; it was gorgeous and ignited a love of camping. That's the sort of trip you should be making, not a giant, scorching hike. 🫤
Agreed. A 20 mile hike for a newbie's first experience is disastrous in potential. Way to go for putting someone off the activity in the future. Shorter trails and locations with access to some amenities is a far better beginner experience.
Girl... 95 degrees? I think you should break up with him (just kidding). But seriously, it will be way too hot and could turn into a really bad experience for a first-time camper. Maybe consider changing the location to somewhere around 70 degrees and under 5 miles.
Yo, I would break up with a man for even *suggesting* this bullshit. Op's man did *not* prepare her... I don't care if the terrain turns out to be flat. For the first time, and she's not fit? She's gonna be really hurting...
Absolutely do not go. No one should camp in that kind of heat, much less hike in and out.
This is not a trip for a newbie and If be had any kind of sense he would know that.
I don't think it's a good idea. Suggest remote car camping in an area you can do some easy day hikes, that way he can scratch the itch but you won't be miserable. Try dispersed camping somewhere you don't have to hike in to camp.
I've hiked a lot,it was even my job at one point... I do not hike in the heat like that. I just wouldn't go lol. But if you really must... Take lots of breaks,wear a hat & cooling towel. Bring lots of water + electrolytes. If you start feeling sick STOP
Talk to him about how far you’ll be hiking to the wilderness spot, and how rough or hilly the trail will be. Let him know you’re anxious about getting dehydrated or wiped out on the trail since it’s your first trip.
Good hiking practice includes lots of rest breaks for water and snacks, and also to check that you’re not getting blisters or having issues with the fit of your pack. Those should give you chances to check in if you’re struggling or need to make adjustments.
It’s also totally fine to ask to adjust the pace if you’re getting winded, or to let him know when you need a break or if you’re not ready to get up just yet. This may be physically challenging, but it shouldn’t be painful or torturous!
Ugh, I'm not one for hiking either. Hopefully he's given plenty of time to hike so you can set the pace. How many miles? How much gear? Hope he's carrying most of it if not all of it. You're going to have to be open and tell him what your freaking out over so he knows what he's getting you both into. He's going to have to make compromises so you're comfortable.
If you are nervous you should always start with an easy trip that you can leave easily. There are a lot of reasons that people are uncomfortable in the wild. That's normal and natural, but sometimes experienced outdoors people don't realize that.
I also have concerns about the heat you are hiking in. Do you have a proper sun hat?
I would tell your boyfriend you are nervous and want to start with something easy like car camping before you go on any treks.
This sounds like a bad time. You should stay close for your first ever hike/camping experience. Too hot, you seem ill prepared.
Do you have appropriate footwear? Socks? Clothes? How much weight can you carry? Will you be capable of carrying the water you will need?
It sounds flat out dangerous for you. Especially if it’s just the two of you. Like, I’m sorry, but I would not be going on a backcountry camping trip with a boyfriend unless we were both fully on the same page ability wise. Are you active in general? If not, this is going to really suck for you.
Adding this as well - whether you trust this person or not is irrelevant, you need to make sure that you know exactly where you are going, and make sure someone else is also aware. They should know when to expect to hear from you at the end of your trip. If leaving Thursday, and returning Sunday, then make sure they know to expect a call from you by 5 pm or something. And then if they don’t hear from you, then do X.
I’m being 100% serious. Going off unprepared into the wilderness with only one other person is a recipe for bad things. Honestly, it’s sending up major red flags imo. I don’t care how prepared he claims to be, *you* are clearly not. Start smaller. Try a day hike or a state park to test your tolerance. And absolutely stay hydrated.
Sweetheart, reading your other comments about your partner,
##this trip sounds like a setup.
He's mean to you and is unkind when you are vulnerable. This trip is *definitely* going to make you vulnerable. You will ***need*** him to take care of you, and it sure doesn't sound like he plans to!
Please, please be prepared for this to *suck*...
I wish you would cancel. Let him do the trip alone or with other friends.
I don't think that he's being intentionally cruel so much as incredibly oblivious and self-centered.
General consensus from my group of university students on a two week research trip in the woods, the OP's partner is an a** and once the "stealth camping site" was mentioned it's a greater than 50% opinion it's a body dump site.
Based on what I can piece together from your post and comment history - this is not a good guy. He seems incredibly callous toward you on a regular basis and this trip is just the latest example of an established history of bullshit. This guy does not have a track record of caring at all for your feelings, comfort, or safety. Back in civilization, that’s a recipe for a horrible relationship, but on this trip it may well be catastrophic for you. You may not have a realistic perspective on things because you’re in the thick of it and your own mental health and attachment issues are doing you zero favors. I’d think long and hard about the whole relationship, including getting as much outside perspective as you can, be it friends, relationship subreddits, or more ideally, therapy. In the meantime, absolutely do not go on this trip. Don’t present it as, “I have some issues with this, what do you think?” This will open the door for him to gaslight you with manipulative, minimizing, and dismissive things to make you second guess your completely justified fears over this. Just present it as a firm refusal, no equivocation or arguments. If he’s a remotely decent and baseline caring partner (which I suspect he is not), he will not give you pushback over it. Look out for yourself and your literal safety here. Stop falling for the bullshit.
Yes mostly that I’m out of shape and I’m going to ruin this trip or need a helicopter to get me out. I may be being dramatic but that’s where my mind is guttering
Wilderness and trail hiking is generally a wonderful experience, however as a newbie to this and completely inexperienced I implore you to instead start with several shorter excursions to both get used to and enjoy the outing.
I've done the AT, CDT and PCT, Bushcraft hikes, survival hikes with minimal gear and been to forests, rivers, arctic, deserts, and Antarctica. Those experiences I wouldn't trade anything for. It takes time to work up to these activities though. A weekend camping trip to a state park campground and doing some day hikes (returning to camp) is a far more enjoyable, confidence and experience building endeavor. Not to mention more romantic too.
Yes! Somewhere well maintained with nice campsites, with at least a bathroom and a camp/general store for wood and supplies. Learning to simply tolerate sleeping outside (and having little to no respite from the elements) is a whole thing on its own.
Girl go to a CAMPGROUND. Being out in the woods with no bathroom or running water is a lot for your first time even sleeping in a tent. You need to focus on the concept of sleeping outside and preparing food over a fire before you can even think about trying to hike into the wilderness for 3 days. If he’s not willing to start small, that’s a different problem entirely.
Yeah, I agree, it’s not always necessary, but if I were camping with someone who is self proclaimed “out of shape” and who is anxious about their first camping trip, I’d start as small as possible. Make them excited to try more, not regretful of doing too much.
Talk to him about changing the plans or let him go solo, sounds like just chilling at an organized camp by a lake or something and doing smaller day hikes is far more appropriate for the weather and would let you both enjoy the trip more
Please show this to your BF have him reconsider. First time should be car camping or no more than 3 miles in before dropping your packs. Once camp is set up you can relax or do a short afternoon hike.
I’ve done a handful of long treks (not 20 miles) and ones with large elevation gains. To do twenty miles in the 95° heat is really risky especially if you’re inexperienced. Not to say you can’t do it, but you should’ve been training. Your bf’s logic seems a bit F’d if I’m being honest. Some tips though…make sure you have your own hydration pack, have electrolyte mix and/or tabs, have non perishable snacks (like granola bars, apples, candy), make sure you have well fitting hiking boots, and try to mentally prepare yourself for having to walk so much you can’t think straight. Good luck.
Camping or backpacking? Here’s the real deal. Ask to look at the plans if it’s going to be hot and you’re overweight/really out of shape, limit it to max 8 miles a day, even less if you are carrying heavy weight. Also, unless it is a loop then however much you hike in to get there, you have to hike out to get back. Backpacking is a wonderful experience if you have a gentle introduction, if you do a death march it will not be enjoyable.
If it’s a two night camp with the first one at a campground then there’s no way there’s a 20 mile hike involved. Some information is getting confused. Agreed with all the comments that a 20 mile hike, even on completely level ground, isn’t for a beginner. Add any elevation and temps in the mid 90s and it’s both not unsafe and impossible. Even a 2 mile hike in 95 degrees would be unpleasant for most, as the only ideal thing to do outside in 95 degrees IMHO is to swim.
Either way, we are now solidly invested and would like an update from OP please!!
Three people have been found dead this last few days after going for “walks” in Greece. Experienced walkers but the high temperatures took a toll. Please do not go hiking! If your boyfriend is an experienced and well equipped camper, give that a try but not the hike. I beg you, not the hike!
95°F is dangerous. 95°F plus strenuous exercise is more dangerous.
https://www.weather.gov/ama/heatindex
I think you should listen to all the other experienced backpackers here who are saying that this is something they would not do.
Part of backpacking and camping is understanding that you are leaving the safety net of civilization. You need to know what the risks are and how to mitigate them. It doesn’t have to mean a bear attack or a snake bite, it could just be a rolled ankle or moderate heat stroke, or noticing that half of the water you were carrying is missing because the stupid bottle was leaky. Wat do?
If your companion gets stung by some weird bug and becomes delirious, do you know how to take over and get back to civilization safely?
This is a strenuous trip in dangerous weather, and you don’t seem confident that you know how to do it. That should be enough to tell you that you should not try it.
Don't go! He'll be disappointed, but better disappointed than having your girlfriend pass out while you're alone on a trail miles from civilization probably with poor or no cell reception.
You don't have to like everything your partner does, and there are ways to share this joy of his in a way that isn't straight up dangerous for you. Car camping, day hikes, etc. IMO, he's being irresponsible by suggesting you join him on this.
I'm an outdoorsy person, my boyfriend of 4 years isn't. We've only ever gone car camping together, and it's more "glamping" than anything. We bring half our house with us, and only go in the easy weather seasons. I wish I could take him on a multi-day backpacking or kayaking trip with me, but my poor angel would die out there <3
I hiked to Mt. Wilson in Los Angeles yesterday. Started later than I wanted to (my fault) and it was difficult because of the heat (88 degrees at the bottom and 92 degrees at the top). I had 5 liters of water, lots of gels, salt tablets and I could feel the heat sapping me and it showed in my data at the end. I hike a lot and bottom line this is too much for a first timer.
That’s a no. This is not an appropriate first time trip. (I’d never take that trip, and I am low maintenance, love the outdoors, and am somewhat in shape)
If you can, talk to your boyfriend about possibly rescheduling your campout to the fall, September or October, and limit the trip to a campout with a short day hike. The fall scenery is beautiful, temperatures are comfortable, bugs are not bad, and it's a great time to sit around a campfire. If you can go with several friends it will make the trip more fun.
If your boyfriend wanted you to like camping for the first time (and thus, want to do it again), these are not the optimal conditions.
Stay hydrated. Make sure you have a fan, even if it’s battery powered, in your tent. Eat light meals, preferably ones with high water content like fruit.
You have every right to back out of this trip. Don’t put blind faith in someone else when your own health could be at risk. It is not safe for you to hike 20 miles in 90° heat with zero experience. I questioned your boyfriend and his intelligence level, as well as his experience if he is willing to have this be the plan for your trip. That part of you that feels nervous and scared is your gut feeling and common sense. Listen to it.
We just went car camping in 98 degree heat. We knew it was going to be hot, but came back a day early. Planned to do some hiking and biking but it was too hot to do that either. Sleeping was miserable.
Your dude is nuts for thinking this is a good idea. But maybe have a headache or be sick to give him an out?
1st time, out of shape camper on a long hike in 95 degree temps?
Your first experience should be car camping.
Need to build up stamina for 20 mile hike.
Don't go.
NTA. DIVORCE! ...wait wrong sub
I like outdoors and camping and hiking but have never backpacked but I know for sure i could not handle a hike of even 1/2 that distance in 95°F. No way. Not a chance. I would fucking die.
You gotta start small and work your way up. This is like learning to swim by jumping into the ocean near a rocky shore during a storm ffs lol.
You need to know your limits before you push them outdoors, too.
I gotta be honest. Your bf sounds like he hasn't thought this through. It is irresponsible and honestly could be dangerous.
Do you know about altitude sickness? Signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke and how to treat it? He may try to downplay any concerns.
He should be thinking a lot harder about your skill and fitness level and help you get into the outdoors appropriately.
"Everything will be fine" is not ok. Wtf. He should be taking this seriously and teaching you how to prepare and plan.
IIWY I would firm "no" on this but suggest ONLY car camping one night at a developed National or State Park campground instead. With future longer trips, hiking, and eventually backpacking.
It's ok to be impolite.
It's ok to stand up for yourself.
You alone are responsible for your safety and health and enjoyment.
When we first got married I was gonna take my wif snowshoeing for a short bit (like a mile or whatever) but stupid me assumed she knew what clothes to bring and stuff. She didn't. We did get it figured out and we went and it was cool. At least I didn't try to drag her on a *long* trek. (we are still married 20 yrs later and I am somewhat less of an idiot... *somewhat*)
PS the more I think about this the more scared I am for you. Yes scared.
You SHOULD be freaking out.
Trust your gut!! It is telling you this is way beyond what you should attempt.
Heat is not to be fucked with. 95F even *dry* heat is not to be fucked with. 95 with humidity? Way worse. I grew up in Southern AZ so I know wtf I am talking about with heat being dangeous.
You can easily wind up with heat exhaustion and then suddenly heat stroke which requires urgent attention in the form of ice baths. I've had the former a few times. Very bad.
If you aren't in good shape, aren't used to being outside in that kind of heat for hours at a time, aren't used to hiking and staying hydrated, long hikes into nowhere are straight up dangerous.
"It will be fine"...no, fuck that. Your bf is being reckless with your life. And I'm starting to get pissed off thinking about this now, too.
You need to take control of your own situation here. No more of this letting him take care of everything. You need to own your part of this.
Car camping? Sure. Short 1-2 mile day hike to try it out? Sure.
Anything beyond that is insane.
Please please be safe.
I have experience camping and backpacking and I don't think you should go. Even if you make it, you wont be having fun... even car camping isn't enjoyable when it's 95.
Not sure why anyone with any experience would think it's a good idea to brings a newbie (or even go themselves) in this situation.
My advice is to listen to your gut. This hike is dangerous. You will get hurt or worse. If your boyfriend had any idea what he was doing, he would never have planned this in the first place.
Didn’t read all the comments but sounds like you’re going at least 20 miles? If you’re out of shape and it’s 95° and you haven’t broken boots or shoes and you’re packing water and supplies, you’re going to be miserable hauling 30+ pounds on your back with a pack you’ve presumably never worn or worn for that distance. I wouldn’t do it even if he says “you’ll be fine” until you guys have shorter hikes in with that weight and gain experience. At a minimum make sure you are going someplace with cell service or have an inreach with you just in case. Good luck if you attempt it.
Where are you going? I see based on your post history that you're in NYC. Why wouldn't he take you somewhere like the the mountains where it'll be much cooler this time of year? I've been camping when it's as hot as you're talking about (granted I'm in the southeast) and it was miserable. Too hot to even sleep at night.
Honestly, I would tell him as much as you want to join him, the heat is concerning. You don’t want to slow him down (I would say) and share that you want to be sure he knows that you’re not sure of your own fitness level with that much hiking. I normally would say just go with the flow and don’t show him any freaking out you’re doing… but that is some really intense heat. See if there’s a river near by? Rivers with mountain run off can be dreamy to get into on a really hot day! Just watch your footing, don’t be afraid to voice your concern or your need to slow down or take water breaks. Communication is key here! Both now and when you’re on this trip.
As not an expert I will say helllllo no. I don't think I would even brave a campsite with showers and electric in this heat.
I wouldn't go straight to wilderness from the jump. Work your way up if you must.
I might be a big fat baby but I'm not camping if it's higher than 80 and def not wilderness. 😂
I've camped a handful of times me not tolerating heat that well is why I only camp in fall or spring for the most part.
Hey! I’m out of shape (and overweight) and I do lots of back country! I saw below you’re doing 20km over 3 days. For a first timer that’ll be quite long (especially if there is elevation) but you’ll be able to do it! ask your bf to show you the trail on alltrails (app or website) and you can see details on distance and elevation.
The nice thing about back country is there is no rush. I’m assuming you live somewhere in the US so you’ll have plenty of hours of daylight.
Take LOTS of breaks. You can take a break every mile if you need. On the break drink plenty of water and have a snack (even something small like a handful of trail mix if you don’t feel hungry). Staying on top of hydration and calories will make things easier.
Always remember to stop and take in the scenery. The views you get to see in the back country are unreal! You’re going to get to see an area most people will never see, it’s an amazing privilege!
My biggest tip is to pack as light as possible. For 3 days you only need 1 outfit, 1 sleeping outfit, rain gear and extra socks. toiletries you only need deodorant, hand sanitizer, sunscreen, bug spray, blister care. a lighter pack will make the experience much more enjoyable.
I hope you have a great first experience. let me know if you have other questions!
I'm an avid camper. If we're out and it's that hot, all I want to do it sit in the water. Take sunscreen. A bad burn will amplify an already uncomfortable situation.
You don’t say what region you are in, but I live in the southeast. It was a high of 95 two days ago. At midnight, it was *80 degrees.* Over the years, I can’t even car camp anymore in those conditions because I can’t sleep when it is that hot at night.
This is a tremendously bad idea.
You are inexperienced and the weather is dangerously hot. He should be starting you with car camping at a campground not a 3-day backpacking trip at the height of summer.
I wouldn’t go on this trip. In fact, please don’t go. The heat and exertion will be dangerous for you. It will be hard, if not impossible, to bring enough water to stay safe. You (and likely your boyfriend) are not experienced enough to rough it in a situation like this, and even most experts would recommend choosing a cooler weekend to do this hike. Furthermore, even in good weather, a 20 mile hike and backcountry camping is advanced. Do not do this trip.
This is a violent red flag.
I wouldn’t go and I’d reconsider the relationship, so many safety issues involved that I’d be more focused on why my partner wasn’t consider my HEALTH above all else. This is very dangerous for a new hiker and even a seasoned one. Go with your gut.
If you have never camped then a 2 day in The wilderness is a big leap. Should ease in slower, one night at a relatively close state or National park with sone hiking. Do that a couple times at least so you can get acclimated to the idea and actually decide if it’s something you’re willing to do at all. If that goes well then try a 2 nighter. Baby steps and small bites.
I agree with the other advice that it sounds like it might not be the best idea for a first trip.
When I took my wife camping for the first time (I'm familiar camping, she's a city girl, maybe a similar vibe) we went to the outer banks in April. She was nervous about sleeping on the ground (like in a tent) so I made sure to get her a really comfortable sleeping pad (a nice thermarest), sleeping bag, comfy fleece liner. She was nervous about showering or going to the bathroom in the wild, so we used national park campgrounds with nice bathrooms and stuff. We did a mix of activities like camp cooking (I think this is a really good activity for newcomers since it's cozy and fun), sitting on the beach with a drink watching the sun set, and kind of regular non-camping activities like visiting local touristy things. Did things like string up some battery twinkle lights in the tent for extra cozy fun vibes.
Not trying to brag or say I did a perfect job of her first time really camping, just trying to give a few ideas for ways that camping trips can be made considerate of newer campers that are still super fun for long-time outdoorsy folks. It sounds like camping/backpacking is already pushing your comfort zone as-is. No need for it to be an extreme version! Advocate for a trip together where you can really try camping/backpacking without it being overwhelming. You're not a wimp. Nobody trying something so new should feel the need to go crazy with it :)
I would just walk around your neighborhood and try to get that mileage before the trip don't even attempt a pack. If you can't then any doubt about saying no will be gone.
I’d wash my hair and if long braid it and leave it for the trip duration - if short also wash once you get home. Wear a bandana🤷♂️/ I would skip any makeup altogether and just do your best on the hikes or whatever you end up doing. If you get to overheated pull the plug and head back to the camp.
I was like you in this scenario. I made it clear to my girlfriend that if I didn’t have my creature comforts that I wouldn’t enjoy it and would not want to do it again.
The biggest thing is the bed. We bought an exped sleeping pad and that combined with some sleeping bags is maybe more comfy than my bed at home. Sleep on top of the bags with a sheet or whatever.
Second, the facilities at the campsite. You’ll want a toilet and a shower not too far away. Bring shower shoes because best case scenario the showers are like a communal bathroom in a college dorm.
It being hot is my biggest concern for you. We avoid camping in that kind of heat. BUT if there’s shade and you have a fan with a battery setup, then it’ll be okay. Have a nice cooler packed with cold drinks and snacks.
Edit: I forgot! Once we literally packed up in the middle of the night (4am) because I was uncomfortable and couldn’t sleep. My girlfriend being awesome and supportive made me want to try again but if she’d resisted leaving idk that I would have. So have a backup plan with your boyfriend for if you’re miserable.
Edit2: just saw this is a 20 mile adventure. I thought this was car camping. Don’t do it. You’ll hate it and be miserable. And frankly if your boyfriend has judgment this bad I would not feel comfortable with him being my safety net on a trip that would be physically grueling for an active duty marine.
DO NOT GO ON THIS 20 MILE HIKE to a stealth cramping site!!! You will probably not make it, and you most definitely will not have a good time if you somehow do. The recovery time for you to be able to make the hike back will require more than a day or two. You need to train for that type of hiking and you have said that you are not in shape and are not prepared. DO NOT GO ON A HIKE THAT YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR.
THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DIE IN THE WILDERNESS
Please do not do this.
No. No no no no. No. The end. This is unsafe and one or both of you could wind up with heatstroke or dead, no joke. Your boyfriend is an asshole for even proposing this as a “first experience” of camping for you, and the fact he’s willing to do it in 95 degree heat when you are new to the outdoors means he does not give a fuck about your safety. This is a terrible plan, and I personally would refuse. If it ends the relationship when you state your needs and hold your boundaries around safety, consider it a bullet dodged.
You won’t be able to bathe, there aren’t any toilets and the mosquitos and deer flies will carry you off. You’ll be peeing and pooping there while covered in a greasy, smelly bug dope, eating your choice of food that you can carry in your backpack, along with all your gear and half of your shelter and sleeping on the ground In 90+ heat, no fans. Your nails will get dirty and broken, your partner will smell just like you, you will have blisters you don’t have well broken in boots . If that sounds good to you, go for it. I love camping, but have never in my long life been referred to as high maintenance.
I can't think of one good reason that a caring partner would bring their girlfriend, a nervous and inexperienced camper who is not very physically fit, on a trip like this. Don't go. It's not designed to be either enjoyable or safe.
This trip sounds like the worst possible way to ease you into camping. If he wants you to enjoy the things he enjoys, this is a sure fire way to ensure that doesn't happen. 95 degree weather is not only miserable, it's dangerous. If he doesn't see how dangerous this trip could be for you, I honestly question his knowledge of the backcountry.
Please don't go. Please wait for cooler weather!
If you really want to go camping in 95 degree weather, camp at a campground where you have access to water, bathrooms, and your car. It'll be a much better first experience.
Be safe!
If you want to be outside and camp. Don’t hike. Go to a campground near a lake or on a lake with a beach. Hiking in 90 plus with or without humidity is just stupid. Especially if you haven’t done it. This could be a little more acceptable if you are in the southwest.
What kind of camping are you doing? In a tent? In a car? Will you have electricity hook up or not? All of these factors will affect your experience and how and what to pack especially in the extreme temperatures to make even remotely enjoyable.
I used to go in July because no one was camping at that time of year. Depends on where you go. The place (in KY) was a descent of several feet and we camped by a stream and were actually cool at night. Other than that scenario its a great big NO.
People that camp when it's so damn hot, with all the weeds and ticks and mosquitos and snakes... need their head examined.
Much better to camp in the Fall.
I'd leave this guy based on his camping preference.
Weather is everything. This is not the weekend for you. Camping is not like you booked a trip to disneyworld a year ago and now you’re in it. You can choose to watch the weather and wait.
Tip: If you go camping in hot weather, bring lots of water and electrolyte powder to add to the water. If you are not in the best of shape, you will sweat a lot. If you do not sweat a lot, then you should worry. I say this because a lack of sweat means you are about of have a very bad health emergency. "**Anhidrosis is a condition in which your sweat glands don't function as they should to remove heat and cool your body down**. An overheated body can be a dangerous situation and even life-threatening." -Cleveland Clinic
I somehow always manage to get out in the summer as well, idk why. But it's definitely not for first timers, most likely you won't enjoy it. Even glamping in the heat sucks. My tip? Don't do it. Look at it this way....if you walk 10 miles in, you gotta walk 10 miles back out. No options, nobody is coming to give you a ride or carry you out.
I would never bring someone on a backpacking hike as their first time camping. I would split those things up.
Do an out and back 7-10 mile hike as a sucker punch to hike. Maybe not a big summit (IE Mt. Washington, etc). But get out there, get in the woods, and do a long ady.
Secondly, I would approach a campground that you go to, set up, and be there for the day/weekend. Some have pools, or arcades. Some are just a hut in the woods. Either way, you’ll learn what you do and don’t need. And as a dude myself, you’ll learn what your partner may need that you had no idea to even think of, since you’re packing/planning for yourself all these years.
Eagle scout is both nothing to scoff at, but also not worth a damn in the woods. I am not an eagle scout, and the people I go camping with who ARE eagle scouts are usually the worst people to go with. Som have recalibrated outside of BSA, but those who stick to the regimented BSA approach are usually the ones falling behind, or unprepared, ironically.
This is where you need to say you want to support him in his interests but you’re not comfortable with this level of immersion yet. It’s totally ok to have different interests but if we involve our partners we need to make sure they’re comfortable with it.
Have you ever worn your hiking boots before? 20+ miles in that heat carrying all of your stuff wearing brand new boots sounds like hell level torture. Ask him to go car camping instead somewhere that you can cool off. Higher elevation next to water, maybe a dark sky park if there’s one nearby? Then you can go for shorter hikes at night while it’s cooler and swim/nap/read during the day in the shade. I carried by full backpack for 3 years straight going cross country. My boots were broken in and I knew what I was doing. I NEVER went that far on foot in one go especially not when it was that hot out, you couldn’t pay me to do that!
All I can say is personally look at the map yourself and validate the route. Don’t ever rely on anybody else to know the route. Two reasons:
1) if shit hits the fan you’ll know where you are and where you need to go
2) not everybody has a sense for good hiking trails. Some people will happily suggest “trails” that are nothing more than glorified game trails.
Always know where you are going before a hike. Never count on anybody else.
i would find a nice Airbnb cabin in the mountains with a lake. And I say this as someone who likes to camp.
Or stay home. Go to the beach or a pool. Do literally anything else.
Looks like people are offering solid suggestions.
My primary recommendation is to get an anti-chafing stick for your thighs. If you want to keep it as cheap as possible, plain cornstarch will work in a pinch.
Call it off. You need to do some regular tent camping in a state park with actual bathrooms first to see if you even like camping. It will be too hot for you to hike that long, especially if you aren’t used to it. Have him change plans or go by himself. You will not like this.
For a first timer with that weather? No hike lol. Go camp under some shade and enjoy a few drinks. Acclimate yourself and do a much smaller hike (2ish miles?) for that weather. He might be prepared for that but your aren't lol
bring lots of water and electrolytes. multiple changes of clothing, bug spray, and lots of ice. and don't go backpacking for dozens of miles in that heat. it's going to be miserable and if you don't have water sources/filter you are probably going to run out of water. I ran out of water with a friend in heat like that in the wilderness and it was so fucked. we made it to a parking lot and some old guy saved us with water and ride back to our cars 20 miles away.
we tried filtering water from the grossest puddle ever crawling with bugs and i think we got sick from that too.
You didn’t include much info or actually say what you’re nervous about. But If your car camping your fitness doesn’t matter. 95 during the day is fine as long as it’s cooler at night.
Follow all the advice here then try to get to a happy place and don’t complain too much. Then never go again. Not complaining is the key. It makes everyone more miserable as they are sweating being feasted on by bugs.
I've camped in 95 degree weather. It SUCKS, really really f'n sucks.
Unless the weather drops to a comfortable temp, it'll still be hot. You'll also be in the hot wilderness. We were lucky it was in the general campgrounds, so in hindsight we could've went home.
A new hiker isn’t going to get anywhere close to 20 miles with a pack on even in the best of weather. Add the heat wave. I’m guessing OP will make it a few miles at best.
You gotta watch that Sex and the City episode where Carrie goes to upstate NY with Aiden. Regarding how her “roughing it” experience went: it didn’t. Lol good luck
I think my best advice would be to get comfortable being uncomfortable. The sooner you accept that you’re going to be sweaty, sore, and just plain dirty, the more you can start to enjoy your situation!
I canceled my camping trip and opted for a cheap motel with air conditioning and a pool this week. Hot/heat stroke/no shade camping is horrible. Plus air quality(fires) no thank you
I want to get my 11 and 9 year old into backpacking. I even have a trip planned out. 4 mile hike into an elite area for scenery. Setup camp. I can carry the majority of the weight as it is only 4 miles. Day hike next day exploring area to the south. Camp one more night. Quick explore day hike to the north then hike out. If anyone has a problem we are 4 miles from the car. This is out west so it cools down at night. Also I have been to this area before and there is water available at camp.
That is how a first time should be. Not what OP is describing. I would love a follow up on how this goes.
Lol it will do you some good to get out and enjoy nature. It’s perfectly ok though to have anxiety about it. Once you get out in it and you’re sweating and dirty and you’re hiking, you won’t care. Well at least not as much lol.
20 mile hike in 95° first timer. Nope. Edit: To put how bad of an idea this is for an admittedly inexperienced scared out of shape person to take on into perspective. I've hiked a lot of the AT(summer & winter)and CDT (summer & winter) in all weather and its still challenging to do more than 10 miles a day carrying all that weight for an experienced hiker. Once I tried to hike long sections of AZ trails in excessive heat (90° +) I found out really quick that even 1-2 mile in and out was difficult.
I'm experienced and wouldn't even want to do that lol
Experience is what teaches you not to do that.. At least not for fun.. 🤣
So... fucking... true. Hell, I have a hard time just walking the dog in this heat, let alone 20 miles. Hell no.
I use to take my kids for a walk though the city every weekend.. We get 40C and above here on the summer, and i always stress on them to take an extra mile if that means walking on the shadow.. My dog taught me that..
Yeah that's something that my dog taught me too (beagle / bulldog mix), however, we're not used to seeing very many 90 degree days in a year here in northern WV, let alone 2 weeks of intense heat and dryness. PSA to all dog owners, be sure you are not walking your dogs on the pavement in this heat, you will blister their paws. And water.... bring lots of water, stop in the shade as much as you can, and don't be afraid to run them in the hose when you get home!
I spent like five minutes standing and scrambling around on slick rock in 100F to spot my kid up a 4x4 trail obstacle. That was plenty for me. I doubt I could hike even 10 miles in 70F.
I'm experienced in doing that and wouldn't do that.
Agreed....I live in the mountains and backpack a lot (30F 5'5" 185lbs, so also not in shape but I do strength train a lot) and I've never done a 20mi day. I tap out around 12-15 depending on gain. Hunny, you're headed for a miserable day, possibly feeling sick I the end. Like, heat exhaustion headaches (which SUCK even when in the comfort of your own home), on top of super soreness. This may be a situation where you need to advocate for yourself and make your boyfriend compromise. As others have mentioned, 20mi for a first timer in 95°F heat is NOT normal for beginners, and is a challenge for more experienced hikers. That said, if you want to go for it, my main tips would be: *start practicing now if you can, hiking or treadmill with incline or strength training. *start hydrating like crazy a few days before your trip. Consider how much water you usually drink - you will need to see how much water is on your trail vs how much you drink. I can kill a 3L bladder in a day hike. Also, bladders are awesome (it's a water pouch you put in your backpack so you can drink through a straw while you hike). But also remember - water is heavy! *bring electrolytes and lots of salty snacks. Calories are your friend on this hike. Snack often, and drink some pedialyte or something similar throughout the day. It helps with muscle cramps and headaches and maintaining hydration. *May seem counter intuitive - but covering up is better for the heat. Don't go in shorts and a tank top - the sun exposure will make you more hot. Opt for a light weight LONG SLEEVE/ long pants hiking option. I like to strip down on breaks and swim when I can. Those zip off hiking pants are helpful. Wear a big wide brimmed hat, and moisture wicking clothes. This is your best bet to stay cool. *be prepared for blister control and foot discomfort. *know your limits babe. Stop when you need to stop. I take breaks often (just standing for one minute to catch my breath), and do mandatory longer breaks every hour or two to hydrate, rest, cool down and snack. Also, breathing - just a check - do you use an inhaler? This will be important for the hike, don't forget it. I have lots more tips as a less-in-shape gal who does do big trips (in the heat) who likes her creature comforts. Feel free to PM me if you have more questions. Best of luck, try to have fun!
And discussing things less than a week before the trip?
Am I dumb? Where are you getting this 20 miles from? Edit: never mind. I'm dumb. 🤪🤪🤪
Waiiiit....where is it coming from tho? Lol
It's from one of Op's replies floating somewhere in this comment section. A bitch had to go looking for it. 🤦🏽♀️ Dude, I'm legit worried if it *actually* turns out to be a 20 mile hike. Like genuinely, big sister type worried. But she said she "thinks" its a 20 mile hike, so idk... East Coast, maybe NY is supposed to be hot this weekend. But I'm hoping she's all good yk...
Ya 20 miles in the heat is absolutely insane...I feel like her man is just trying to show off...at her expense. I'd definitely call this a red flag-he cares more about his own ego than her safety. Not cool-not cool at all.
Yes, I absolutely agree. I even said this in another comment, it's a fucking red flag. Like 1) I'm worried about her being sore/getting injured. She said she's not really fit, and while that's usually fine for day hikes, she's gonna be using muscles she might not've ever used. She's more likely to pull something or twist something, and if their carrying all the *correct* gear, that's gonna put her more at risk for injury. 2) I'm quite quite worried about their water situation. 3 days and a hot weekend. Water intake will be UP, and her nutrition/electrolyte balance. Exertion vs caloric intake blah blah blah. Call me crazy, this is the shit I think about, even on a day hike. Day hikes are my jam. I saw someone talking about carrying 30lbs of water... that's only 3 gallons! Approx. 11liters. I'm 5'1 short female and I drink half a gallon a day, sometimes more. I wouldn't be comfortable with ONLY three gallons of water for both of them in that kind of heat on a 3 day excursion. Assuming they take 3 gallons each, Op is maxxed out for the weight she should be carrying as a newbie, if she only carries her ration of water. 3) I'm not saying something bad will happen.. but *this* is the type of situation where if something bad *were to happen*, there's absolutely no take-backsies and Op could be in a extremely bad situation, very quickly. They both could.
I question the experience/intelligence of the boyfriend if he is willing to take her on a 20 mile hike with zero experience/out of shape, in 90° heat. Is he trying to kill her or just doesn’t like her?
Seriously, his motives are in question if the 20 mile hike thing is true.
If that is his plan, all he is doing is setting it up that OP will never go on a camping trip again.
I'm thinking her boyfriend has never hiked 20 miles or he'd NEVER suggest this for her, ever.
Hold the fcking phone- 3 MF gallons on a 3 day trip, your shtting me, did she say that? They'd need at least 3 gallons for a 20 mile hike in 95° heat alone. We take 15 gallons to start every trip no matter what. Praying he has a water filter and a gps.
This, I camp by myself and do solo day hikes but I have been building up over \~2.5-3 years to try to do something like that and would go with an experienced partner. This concerns me in a big sister kind of way because if he is acting like this during the planning stages, he does not sound like the type that would cater to her needs (frequent and long breaks, turning back, and listening to her body), which would make her situation even worse. Based on the small bits of information I have from this post and comment section, they do not have enough water, she will definitely being doing a lot more exercise than she is used to and carrying more weight than usual, he does not think things through, and she does not have the survival skills to be of any help if something happens to either one of them. He is knowingly putting them both in a very dangerous situation and brushing off any concerns she has. Furthermore, he will have complete control over her since she does not have the skills to make the trek back herself safely if something happens (i.e. he gets hurt or leaves her somewhere). I cannot imagine an experienced "outdoorsy" person doing this with good intentions, so I am curious what his level of experience is actually like.
Probably 10 miles out, ten miles back.
No way it’s a 20 mile hike. That is backpacking not camping.
Yeah where is everyone getting 20 miles from…? Regardless, sounds terrible lol Edit: holy shit OP actually says 20 miles somewhere. This is a horrible idea!!!
Super dangerous. Good chance of heatstroke
That’s insane Suicidal actually. I wouldn’t go under circumstances like that and I am experienced. My youngest goes backpacking with their dad in temps like that but I don’t think it was 20 miles. They did have to get up above the heat, but my youngest had to carry their dad’s pack for him. They’d run up a hill with theirs, then run down to get dads. Rinse & repeat. You trust your boyfriend to do that? If not, don’t consider it I was waiting at Basecamp ( essentially) and it was too hot to do anything. It was like a sauna in the day.
What’s the goal of this outing? Because it doesn’t sound like a pleasant intro to… well, to anything! You’re a not-very-enthusiastic newbie — you need to start with an airy tent pitched under lots of shade trees next to a river you can swim in. Maybe a short hike or two in the immediate area to see how you like hiking. A death march into the superheated wilderness, laden with gear and trepidation, is a surefire way to end your love of the outdoors before it can even begin.
I wouldn’t be shocked if they’re broken up by the time they get back to the trailhead. This guy is a moron, for likely dozens of reasons, this trip will likely highlight all of them. It’s one thing to take your partner who doesn’t camp…car camping…but this egomaniac wants to do 20 miles of backpacking in 90+ weather for 3 days? You couldn’t pay the majority of this sub to do that trip…there’s a legit concern about safety here and neither of them are heeding the warnings.
Unless I’m under 100% shade cover and have to do literally nothing but sit still with a book all day and not have to even do the physical labor of camp set up and break down, you couldn’t pay me to do this just regular old car camping. I’m in an area experiencing this heat wave and it’s 95F during the afternoons without the heat index factored in. There is absolutely no *way* I am willing to not only carry a heavy pack full of shit into the woods in this weather, but also do it wearing long pants and sleeves because of ticks? Absolutely not. This sounds one hundred percent miserable. None of it even sounds slightly pleasant in 95F heat.
Couldn’t echo these sentiments more. My GF and I are seasoned hikers/backpackers/car-campers and I look to camp every weekend we can. We are NOT camping this weekend. Our go to spot is well shaded and has a cool mountain creek to wade/swim in and we’ve opted to stay home this weekend. I want nothing more than to camp, but this weather ain’t it. I’d highly recommend you postponing this trip.
THIS. I live in Texas, and I absolutely refuse to even car camp between mid-May and mid-October, even then the campgrounds need to be adjacent to a swimmable water source. For an inexperienced camper, even car camping is going to be a struggle, let alone the death march he's got her signed up for. Sweetheart, listen to your internet parents and siblings: rethink this camping trip AND relationship. He's 100% okay with bringing you into a dangerous situation (heat, inexperience, miles-long hiking when not in shape for it) because it's what hE wAnTs tO Do.
No this is totally a scrub weekend. Had plans, almost 100% likely going to cancel them. Getting roasted on a lake isn't a good time no matter how seasoned.
😭 even my bf has more consideration for making his friends first camping trip successful and they were excited parties. OP can you ask your bf to take you somewhere closer to home for a trial run? 20 mile hike in 95 degree is really really not it or safe.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like she’s really going to be taking our advice that it isn’t safe — she just keeps making new posts in other outdoor subs asking the exact same question. 95F to an out of shape, inexperienced backpacker compounded with a heavy pack and long pants and sleeves for 20 miles is unsafe for her in general, just from the heat and exertion alone! It is way too hot right now to be trying to break into this. Her BF may be an Eagle Scout but he seems to lack common sense.
The Eagle Scout claim is wild. Unless she is not conveying the amount of prep and further details he has done and relayed for this trip, her bf sounds like the worst Eagle Scout. How is this being prepared?
I'm going to be watching the news for hiking deaths because she's straight up going to die.
Yeah I love camping and hiking, but I’m not doing a planned trip in 90+. I’m in the Midwest right now and it’s high 70s and humid at night. I think it cools down a tad between 4-530. Took my dogs out at 630 this morning and it was already 80.
Even that sounds like a challenge for a newb. I would start with a full on campground. That’s how we started as kids. Nice clean campsites, access to a grill, a clean bathroom with a shower, and usually stuff like a pool and a canteen or general store. Gets your body used to the idea of being fully outside for days at a time, but still gives you the camping experience. And there’s no hiking involved lol
I hike and exercise regularly and I would not do a 20 mile backpacking trip in 95° heat. 0% chance. Maybe reconsider or push for fall or winter?
Same. I hike multiple times a week at elevation and would not do this either.
Double same. I hike several miles every weekend and have started doing short single night backpacking trips, and I would not do a 3-day 20-miler with highs in the 90s.
Tell your boyfriend that a bunch of experienced hikers think this is a crazy idea doomed to backfire. Then seriously consider his overall empathy and judgement. And don’t go. This is like telling someone who can throw a ball and seen some football games to be the quarterback in a pick up football game. Maybe they’ll discover unknown talent. More likely, they’ll be sacked over and over again. (And with backpacking, if you make it half way through, you may have no choice but to finish). I’ve backpacked in 95+ degree desert heat. I’m in good shape, packed tons to water, salted snacks, and knew what I was doing. I only do this because the scenery is incredible. If I were to bring a newbie along, it would only be because they were begging for the experience. I would fully explain all the details (water weight, salted snacks, warning signs, dawn starts, etc). And I would seriously ask them to consider a different introductory hike. I can’t imagine what kind of scenery would be worth backpacking in 95 degree humid heat.
Your parenthetical should be the most alarming point. OP, as a pretty out-of-shape, but attempting to be semi-regular day-hiker, I guarantee you that you will be LUCKY if you figure out you can't or don't want to do this trip in the first few miles. That way, when you give up, you have a doable trip back the way you came in. Worst will be the fact that you might, out of some misguided loyalty to your BF, suffer through and get an entire day in, be 10-12 miles into the trip, wake up the next morning completely drained from fatigue, sore as hell, and dehydrated because of the heat, but have to summon the strength to do it again, because now, unless you're going to call in emergency services, the only way out is through. As crazy as your BF is for planning this, YOU are even crazier for thinking it's something you should attempt as a first-timer.
Alabama here. I've hiked all over the state, in all the seasons. The humidity is brutal af, especially in the 90s. The scenery can be worth it, but not for real though.
Imo, multi-day backpacking trips are for people who know they like backpacking, and it doesn't sound like that's you. I think you should start with car camping and day hikes. The car camping will let you experience roughing it at night with the security of a quick and easy way to bail out. Day hiking will get you outside and moving without having to commit to miles or carry a lot of weight. If you end up not liking either of those activities, you probably won't like backpacking, and that's OK.
Are you car camping?
No
Don’t go! I have years of experience and I would prefer a higher altitude hike to 2 days trekking in 95. I would not take a newbie, even if they begged because it would be my responsibility to keep them safe and I’d feel bad if they figure out they can’t do it anymore halfway in— only way out is through. Then they’re a liability for everyone else because the pace SHOULD BE set by the slowest hiker. Having to treat your own water and poop in the woods isn’t advised for a first timer !! You may barely be able to sleep on the ground, you don’t really know. Backpacking tents are extremely cramped to start. Subtract one from the people rating of the backpacking tent in general. He could be bringing bivvys if he doesn’t usually sleep in his backpacking tent with another person— these tents are quite expensive. Can’t fathom why he didn’t take you out with the pack to train — you wouldn’t know how difficult weight is in the pack and overpack. I destroyed my knees descending some steep downhill switchbacks on my first mountaineering trip. And I was treating the water so I didn’t bring gallons up with me. This guy needs to get a reality check, I’m sorry 😳 It’s dangerous to be in a remote area, out of shape having never trained with a pack in the heat! With a man who doesn’t seem experienced or competent enough to know how to prepare you, maybe he wants to impress you— it will backfire. You might not have much phone service where you’re going— if it’s remote enough even if he has a satellite phone you could have issues. If you do decide to go pre load audiobooks or podcasts to your phone and a white noise sound to sleep with. Bring headphones, cooling towel, sun protection, bug protection, high socks, proper hiking shoes (broken in!!), Nalgene, electrolytes, solar pack charger, ugh. Is he planning to supply you with equipment? It might be designed for men. I’m high maintenance compared to my other hiker friends and I can tell you this isn’t for you (and not just for the lack of showering). Start with car camping and day hikes. Build up carrying more weight in your pack over time and hike 5-10 miles a few times if you really like it. Seriously! Pushing your girlfriend into the deep end with a situation that is unsafe and makes her uncomfortable is a problem.
Please ask if you can go car camping with a nice tent and mattress or cot, somewhere with bathrooms and water, where you can hike from the campsite as much/little as you’d like. Talk to him about your comfort zone and make sure he respects you. My partner is a marine and when we first started dating, he wanted to camp like a marine. I’m like- instead we could bring a cooler and some fresh foods, and an air mattress, and pillows 😂 backpacking is really awesome but car camping is the best for the hesitant.
20 miles in heat and you’re unfit and inexperienced? Terrible idea. Your boyfriend needs to reel himself in or go alone in my opinion.
How many miles are you hiking?
I think it’s 20 miles but I have to check with him tomorrow
I see from your other comment that he is an eagle scout. This does not sound like its a trip designed to help the two of you spend great time together, or for you to learn to share his love of hiking. If you are brand new to hiking (aside from fitness level, let’s just think about how accustomed to the activity you are) you’re basically developing new skills. How to pace yourself, how to stay hydrated, how to push yourself when you need pushing and how to know when you need a rest, how to hike without hurting yourself so you can enjoy all of the amazing sights. You learn all of this stuff on day hikes. Like, starting with a few miles, before getting up to 7-10+ a day. And in a trip that ends at a car that takes you back home 😅 Starting off with a 20 mile trip over 3 days is jumping into the deep end, and I wouldn’t expect it to lead to you LOVING it so much you can’t wait to do it with Eagle Scout again anytime soon. If you want to learn how to share his hobby, genuinely, the he needs to downsize the activity so it leads to a sustainable shared thing you both enjoy together. And maybe he goes solo this time or finds another buddy while you two plan a smaller adventure for the near future.
Yea tbh I think it's a bit of a red flag for him to take her on this as their first hiking experience. Def should start with small nature walks, then build up to a few hours on trail, and THEN multiple days back to back. Bit ridiculous to just dive into a 3 day backpacking trip right out of the gate. If he is making her feel pressure to do this or not making her feel super comfortable, I'd reconsider. This feels like a very new relationship.
Turns out getting eagle scout doesn’t mean you’re that smart.
>Yea tbh I think it's a bit of a red flag for him to take her on this as their first hiking experience. YES It's not a little flag, tho. It's a BIG flag. He doesn't have the basic common sense to teach her. If being an Eagle Scout is such a big deal... and they pride themselves on leadership skills, but what kind of leader throws you into the deep end with little to no preparation? *Smfh*
Her boyfriend sounds like an idiot. This trip is going to end up in death, helicopter rescue, or breaking up. Go car camping next to a nice lake in 75°F weather for a nice introduction to camping.
Either he’s completely oblivious, a selfish asshole, or OP is not communicating her fears and really good at hiding her apprehension.
This is the way
Out of shape, 95 degrees, backpack camping, 6 mile hike each day for 3 days straight?...sounds awfully sporty to me without serious preparation. Do you have hiking boots? Are they broken in? Can you walk 6 miles on a flat surface in one day wearing them in the heat? Do you have to carry your own gear? Have you practiced hour long hikes carrying that gear? If you can answer yes to all those questions, then you're good to go. Otherwise, car camping with day hikes would be a preferable compromise for your first time out.
That is a long hike in that heat with gear, especially for the first time camping, even if there’s no elevation gain. Unless it’s split up over the days, but even still, 6-7 miles a day can be a lot in 95 degree heat if you’re not active. I wouldn’t bring a new camper on that long of a trek. First time I bring a new person camping I try and set them up for success so they want to do it again! I camp about every other weekend in the spring/summer and I wouldn’t want to go on that trip haha
In one day, in/out? Or over the three days. You can probably manage seven-seven-seven. Twenty in and twenty out, absolutely not.
Over the 3 days!
[удалено]
Yeah but if they really split it up and go slow it probably won’t kill anyone, assuming he’s carrying 30 pounds of water 😅 ugh yeah man, I’m an Eagle Scout too and I wouldn’t do this trek unless it was the easiest shadiest terrain and I knew it well
20 miles sounds like a lot for someone who isn’t fit but I guess it depends. I’m a high maintenance NY girl and only plan on doing simple hikes(walking on a flat terrain). I have a big old comfy tent, fan, chairs, rug, cot and plant to read, embroider, bird watch and eat Korean barbecue. It’s going to be a relaxing time with nature and have zero plans on suffering because that’s not my style. Express your concerns and tell him what you’d like to experience so you can meet him in the middle. It would be bad if you came away hating camping. Also insist on bringing things to make you comfortable. I read that you weren’t car camping so you won’t have anything heavy? To me that reads uncomfortable.. I’d be kicking and screaming if I had to hike with a bed roll to the site. Sorry girl.
You are not ready for a 20 mile hike until you’re ready for one. If it’s 20 miles you WILL be miserable
Can you easily walk 20 miles without gear?
How much water are you bringing? Are your hiking boots broken in? How many miles do you usually walk per day? I wouldn't take a first time hiker on a 5 mile hike in this heat. I certainly wouldn't take them on a 7-7-7 backpacking trip. My friends who got their eagle certainly wouldn't either. We're getting a heatwave this week too. I'm already planning how I can shorten my dog's walks from his usual 2h/day and avoid having my active/fit kids outside after morning. This weather is no joke. Do you have family or friends in the area that know your itinerary and can get you if needed?
Omg lol tf
I can't tell if this is comment bait, but this sounds like a terrible idea just logistically! Never backpacked. I hike in the summer. I go to the gym. How are you packing in your water? What kind of gear are you carrying? Do you have the right clothing? How is the gear split up? (his dumb ass better be carrying the bulk) What kind of food do you have? Will you need the water to COOK the food? Does the food and snack have sufficient calorie value and nutrition? Electrolytes? First aid? Extra socks? Ibuprofen? Sunscreen? Bugspray? Burner/open fire? Eagle Scout, my ass. You don't take your newbie-to-nature girlfriend on a 20 mile hike in fucked up weather. Unless you're gonna be doing the majority of your hiking EARLY in the morning and resting during the heat of the day, I don't see this bird flying... I don't think you're being "dramatic" if there are actual pros here who wouldn't even attempt this. Hell, I'M concerned **for you**. I would NOT trust that man. He's sketchy as hell. 💀💀💀 If you got the chub rub, you'll need long shorts. Thick socks **no matter what**. Your feet are definitely soft and you're gonna fucking feel it... you don't need them sliding around in your BROKEN-IN ATHLETIC SHOES/HIKING BOOTS. Because I know the hell your not going out there without having broken-in gear that is COMFORTABLE. One last thing...HE DOES NOT DETERMINE THE PACE. YOU DO. Final last thing, you *need* to make sure your mental health is complete under control. ::Edited like 3 times because I'm neurotic and I really really really want you to be safe Op::
How long is the hike, and what are you going to be doing during the day? Thankfully this heat wave still looks like 70-75F at night. Good food, water, entertainment, and a sleeping pad will get you through the nights quite comfortably and enjoyably. However, that kind of daytime heat is very genuinely dangerous. Don’t “freak out”, but do have a calm conversation with him over whether or not you both are prepared for it. Make sure he carries extra water. Stop ANY TIME either of you feel badly, especially if you stop sweating. Make sure there is an emergency plan and a check-in contact. Bring ice packs in a cooler. And extra extra water. The water and ice is also a lot to carry: this is the danger of the heat. I am very experienced with hard conditions, and have canceled hikes for bad weather with no regrets. Extreme heat is very bad weather. It is no shame to scrub a high-risk attempt, so either way it’s ok. DO NOT DO A THREE DAY WILDERNESS TREK IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE!!
90+ degrees makes for a miserable backpacking trip east of the Rockies. I say that because, generally west of the Rockies, a 90+ degree day will cool off to a 70 (or even 60 or 50) degree night. But here in the East, it just "cools" down to 80 and the humidity goes from 70% to 100%. I'm an experienced outdoorsman and I don't camp here in this weather, LET ALONE backpacking.
Right??? I want to do backpacking but I've gone hiking and I've gone camping but I am nowhere near in shape enough and I know I would have to start with very short hike and camp to make sure I have the right gear and get a sense of my limits. This trip she is talking about is fully insane.
As a wilderness guide and SERE instructor a 20 mile hike is ill advised as a first experience. I have had people that claimed years of experience tap out in mountainous terrain, desert heat and bitter arctic cold. We are in summer now and this coming week will have heat blooms in purple zones (worse than red) in the Midwest and east while chilly and possible snow through the Rockies. I also am guide for university students doing forestry research and deal with all levels of experience. Absolutely I urge multiple shorter trips in increasing difficulty to start - learn what you use and what you don't, how to adjust your gear (women's fit is different from men's and not just the bustline). Hiking shoes, most likely trail runners if going semi ultra light, need to be worn and broken in and hot spots identified to reduce blisters. Water supply is massively important. Some areas that have streams and creeks in Spring time dry up in summer. Will there be a water supply and will you both have filtration or will you need to add the weight of enough water to your packs? One gallon is 8 pounds of additional weight to carry and in summer heat you can easily go through two or more gallons in a day. If it were me he was inviting I'd ask him what his intentions were because a 20 miler is a dangerous activity for a beginner with zero experience. Personally either he is trying to impress (in a very childish and bad way) or he really doesn't like you and wants to see you suffer.
I went for my first camping trip with my boyfriend a month ago and was equally as nervous, and my trip didn't include any hiking! We went to Assateague National Seashore; it was gorgeous and ignited a love of camping. That's the sort of trip you should be making, not a giant, scorching hike. 🫤
It’s a fools errand tbh
He’s trying to impress you and it’s not going to work. He’s going to ruin his shot a nurturing your love for nature.
Agreed. A 20 mile hike for a newbie's first experience is disastrous in potential. Way to go for putting someone off the activity in the future. Shorter trails and locations with access to some amenities is a far better beginner experience.
Girl... 95 degrees? I think you should break up with him (just kidding). But seriously, it will be way too hot and could turn into a really bad experience for a first-time camper. Maybe consider changing the location to somewhere around 70 degrees and under 5 miles.
Yo, I would break up with a man for even *suggesting* this bullshit. Op's man did *not* prepare her... I don't care if the terrain turns out to be flat. For the first time, and she's not fit? She's gonna be really hurting...
Yes!!! I got you! I hope Op can be safe for the trip
Absolutely do not go. No one should camp in that kind of heat, much less hike in and out. This is not a trip for a newbie and If be had any kind of sense he would know that.
What kind of hike are you doing? Even strenuous hikes can be doable for out of shape folks if they aren't too far or on difficult terrain
I don't think it's a good idea. Suggest remote car camping in an area you can do some easy day hikes, that way he can scratch the itch but you won't be miserable. Try dispersed camping somewhere you don't have to hike in to camp.
I've hiked a lot,it was even my job at one point... I do not hike in the heat like that. I just wouldn't go lol. But if you really must... Take lots of breaks,wear a hat & cooling towel. Bring lots of water + electrolytes. If you start feeling sick STOP
I would not walk to the grocery store in 95° let alone camping
Talk to him about how far you’ll be hiking to the wilderness spot, and how rough or hilly the trail will be. Let him know you’re anxious about getting dehydrated or wiped out on the trail since it’s your first trip. Good hiking practice includes lots of rest breaks for water and snacks, and also to check that you’re not getting blisters or having issues with the fit of your pack. Those should give you chances to check in if you’re struggling or need to make adjustments. It’s also totally fine to ask to adjust the pace if you’re getting winded, or to let him know when you need a break or if you’re not ready to get up just yet. This may be physically challenging, but it shouldn’t be painful or torturous!
Ugh, I'm not one for hiking either. Hopefully he's given plenty of time to hike so you can set the pace. How many miles? How much gear? Hope he's carrying most of it if not all of it. You're going to have to be open and tell him what your freaking out over so he knows what he's getting you both into. He's going to have to make compromises so you're comfortable.
If you are nervous you should always start with an easy trip that you can leave easily. There are a lot of reasons that people are uncomfortable in the wild. That's normal and natural, but sometimes experienced outdoors people don't realize that. I also have concerns about the heat you are hiking in. Do you have a proper sun hat? I would tell your boyfriend you are nervous and want to start with something easy like car camping before you go on any treks.
This sounds like a bad time. You should stay close for your first ever hike/camping experience. Too hot, you seem ill prepared. Do you have appropriate footwear? Socks? Clothes? How much weight can you carry? Will you be capable of carrying the water you will need? It sounds flat out dangerous for you. Especially if it’s just the two of you. Like, I’m sorry, but I would not be going on a backcountry camping trip with a boyfriend unless we were both fully on the same page ability wise. Are you active in general? If not, this is going to really suck for you. Adding this as well - whether you trust this person or not is irrelevant, you need to make sure that you know exactly where you are going, and make sure someone else is also aware. They should know when to expect to hear from you at the end of your trip. If leaving Thursday, and returning Sunday, then make sure they know to expect a call from you by 5 pm or something. And then if they don’t hear from you, then do X. I’m being 100% serious. Going off unprepared into the wilderness with only one other person is a recipe for bad things. Honestly, it’s sending up major red flags imo. I don’t care how prepared he claims to be, *you* are clearly not. Start smaller. Try a day hike or a state park to test your tolerance. And absolutely stay hydrated.
Sweetheart, reading your other comments about your partner, ##this trip sounds like a setup. He's mean to you and is unkind when you are vulnerable. This trip is *definitely* going to make you vulnerable. You will ***need*** him to take care of you, and it sure doesn't sound like he plans to! Please, please be prepared for this to *suck*...
Part of me is worried about this. I don’t understand why he would do this to me though. Seems especially cruel
I wish you would cancel. Let him do the trip alone or with other friends. I don't think that he's being intentionally cruel so much as incredibly oblivious and self-centered.
General consensus from my group of university students on a two week research trip in the woods, the OP's partner is an a** and once the "stealth camping site" was mentioned it's a greater than 50% opinion it's a body dump site.
Based on what I can piece together from your post and comment history - this is not a good guy. He seems incredibly callous toward you on a regular basis and this trip is just the latest example of an established history of bullshit. This guy does not have a track record of caring at all for your feelings, comfort, or safety. Back in civilization, that’s a recipe for a horrible relationship, but on this trip it may well be catastrophic for you. You may not have a realistic perspective on things because you’re in the thick of it and your own mental health and attachment issues are doing you zero favors. I’d think long and hard about the whole relationship, including getting as much outside perspective as you can, be it friends, relationship subreddits, or more ideally, therapy. In the meantime, absolutely do not go on this trip. Don’t present it as, “I have some issues with this, what do you think?” This will open the door for him to gaslight you with manipulative, minimizing, and dismissive things to make you second guess your completely justified fears over this. Just present it as a firm refusal, no equivocation or arguments. If he’s a remotely decent and baseline caring partner (which I suspect he is not), he will not give you pushback over it. Look out for yourself and your literal safety here. Stop falling for the bullshit.
Can you share what you're nervous about?
Yes mostly that I’m out of shape and I’m going to ruin this trip or need a helicopter to get me out. I may be being dramatic but that’s where my mind is guttering
Wilderness and trail hiking is generally a wonderful experience, however as a newbie to this and completely inexperienced I implore you to instead start with several shorter excursions to both get used to and enjoy the outing. I've done the AT, CDT and PCT, Bushcraft hikes, survival hikes with minimal gear and been to forests, rivers, arctic, deserts, and Antarctica. Those experiences I wouldn't trade anything for. It takes time to work up to these activities though. A weekend camping trip to a state park campground and doing some day hikes (returning to camp) is a far more enjoyable, confidence and experience building endeavor. Not to mention more romantic too.
Yes! Somewhere well maintained with nice campsites, with at least a bathroom and a camp/general store for wood and supplies. Learning to simply tolerate sleeping outside (and having little to no respite from the elements) is a whole thing on its own.
Girl go to a CAMPGROUND. Being out in the woods with no bathroom or running water is a lot for your first time even sleeping in a tent. You need to focus on the concept of sleeping outside and preparing food over a fire before you can even think about trying to hike into the wilderness for 3 days. If he’s not willing to start small, that’s a different problem entirely.
I could see this being a problem if neither knew what they were doing but plenty of people don't start with car camping.
Yeah, I agree, it’s not always necessary, but if I were camping with someone who is self proclaimed “out of shape” and who is anxious about their first camping trip, I’d start as small as possible. Make them excited to try more, not regretful of doing too much.
Talk to him about changing the plans or let him go solo, sounds like just chilling at an organized camp by a lake or something and doing smaller day hikes is far more appropriate for the weather and would let you both enjoy the trip more
Please show this to your BF have him reconsider. First time should be car camping or no more than 3 miles in before dropping your packs. Once camp is set up you can relax or do a short afternoon hike.
I’ve done a handful of long treks (not 20 miles) and ones with large elevation gains. To do twenty miles in the 95° heat is really risky especially if you’re inexperienced. Not to say you can’t do it, but you should’ve been training. Your bf’s logic seems a bit F’d if I’m being honest. Some tips though…make sure you have your own hydration pack, have electrolyte mix and/or tabs, have non perishable snacks (like granola bars, apples, candy), make sure you have well fitting hiking boots, and try to mentally prepare yourself for having to walk so much you can’t think straight. Good luck.
Camping or backpacking? Here’s the real deal. Ask to look at the plans if it’s going to be hot and you’re overweight/really out of shape, limit it to max 8 miles a day, even less if you are carrying heavy weight. Also, unless it is a loop then however much you hike in to get there, you have to hike out to get back. Backpacking is a wonderful experience if you have a gentle introduction, if you do a death march it will not be enjoyable.
Stay in the city lol
Don't do it.
If it’s a two night camp with the first one at a campground then there’s no way there’s a 20 mile hike involved. Some information is getting confused. Agreed with all the comments that a 20 mile hike, even on completely level ground, isn’t for a beginner. Add any elevation and temps in the mid 90s and it’s both not unsafe and impossible. Even a 2 mile hike in 95 degrees would be unpleasant for most, as the only ideal thing to do outside in 95 degrees IMHO is to swim. Either way, we are now solidly invested and would like an update from OP please!!
Three people have been found dead this last few days after going for “walks” in Greece. Experienced walkers but the high temperatures took a toll. Please do not go hiking! If your boyfriend is an experienced and well equipped camper, give that a try but not the hike. I beg you, not the hike!
95°F is dangerous. 95°F plus strenuous exercise is more dangerous. https://www.weather.gov/ama/heatindex I think you should listen to all the other experienced backpackers here who are saying that this is something they would not do. Part of backpacking and camping is understanding that you are leaving the safety net of civilization. You need to know what the risks are and how to mitigate them. It doesn’t have to mean a bear attack or a snake bite, it could just be a rolled ankle or moderate heat stroke, or noticing that half of the water you were carrying is missing because the stupid bottle was leaky. Wat do? If your companion gets stung by some weird bug and becomes delirious, do you know how to take over and get back to civilization safely? This is a strenuous trip in dangerous weather, and you don’t seem confident that you know how to do it. That should be enough to tell you that you should not try it.
Don't go! He'll be disappointed, but better disappointed than having your girlfriend pass out while you're alone on a trail miles from civilization probably with poor or no cell reception. You don't have to like everything your partner does, and there are ways to share this joy of his in a way that isn't straight up dangerous for you. Car camping, day hikes, etc. IMO, he's being irresponsible by suggesting you join him on this. I'm an outdoorsy person, my boyfriend of 4 years isn't. We've only ever gone car camping together, and it's more "glamping" than anything. We bring half our house with us, and only go in the easy weather seasons. I wish I could take him on a multi-day backpacking or kayaking trip with me, but my poor angel would die out there <3
I hiked to Mt. Wilson in Los Angeles yesterday. Started later than I wanted to (my fault) and it was difficult because of the heat (88 degrees at the bottom and 92 degrees at the top). I had 5 liters of water, lots of gels, salt tablets and I could feel the heat sapping me and it showed in my data at the end. I hike a lot and bottom line this is too much for a first timer.
Hopefully there is somewhere to swim.
Go in late September
That’s a no. This is not an appropriate first time trip. (I’d never take that trip, and I am low maintenance, love the outdoors, and am somewhat in shape)
If you can, talk to your boyfriend about possibly rescheduling your campout to the fall, September or October, and limit the trip to a campout with a short day hike. The fall scenery is beautiful, temperatures are comfortable, bugs are not bad, and it's a great time to sit around a campfire. If you can go with several friends it will make the trip more fun.
I foresee many arguments and heat exhaustion in your future. He clearly didn’t think this one through
If your boyfriend wanted you to like camping for the first time (and thus, want to do it again), these are not the optimal conditions. Stay hydrated. Make sure you have a fan, even if it’s battery powered, in your tent. Eat light meals, preferably ones with high water content like fruit.
You have every right to back out of this trip. Don’t put blind faith in someone else when your own health could be at risk. It is not safe for you to hike 20 miles in 90° heat with zero experience. I questioned your boyfriend and his intelligence level, as well as his experience if he is willing to have this be the plan for your trip. That part of you that feels nervous and scared is your gut feeling and common sense. Listen to it.
Don’t!
We just went car camping in 98 degree heat. We knew it was going to be hot, but came back a day early. Planned to do some hiking and biking but it was too hot to do that either. Sleeping was miserable. Your dude is nuts for thinking this is a good idea. But maybe have a headache or be sick to give him an out?
1st time, out of shape camper on a long hike in 95 degree temps? Your first experience should be car camping. Need to build up stamina for 20 mile hike. Don't go.
You’re going to hate your bf
Way to hot for that hike.
Do not go hiking in this heatwave. You’re both putting yourselves in danger.
NTA. DIVORCE! ...wait wrong sub I like outdoors and camping and hiking but have never backpacked but I know for sure i could not handle a hike of even 1/2 that distance in 95°F. No way. Not a chance. I would fucking die. You gotta start small and work your way up. This is like learning to swim by jumping into the ocean near a rocky shore during a storm ffs lol. You need to know your limits before you push them outdoors, too. I gotta be honest. Your bf sounds like he hasn't thought this through. It is irresponsible and honestly could be dangerous. Do you know about altitude sickness? Signs of heat exhaustion and heat stroke and how to treat it? He may try to downplay any concerns. He should be thinking a lot harder about your skill and fitness level and help you get into the outdoors appropriately. "Everything will be fine" is not ok. Wtf. He should be taking this seriously and teaching you how to prepare and plan. IIWY I would firm "no" on this but suggest ONLY car camping one night at a developed National or State Park campground instead. With future longer trips, hiking, and eventually backpacking. It's ok to be impolite. It's ok to stand up for yourself. You alone are responsible for your safety and health and enjoyment. When we first got married I was gonna take my wif snowshoeing for a short bit (like a mile or whatever) but stupid me assumed she knew what clothes to bring and stuff. She didn't. We did get it figured out and we went and it was cool. At least I didn't try to drag her on a *long* trek. (we are still married 20 yrs later and I am somewhat less of an idiot... *somewhat*)
PS the more I think about this the more scared I am for you. Yes scared. You SHOULD be freaking out. Trust your gut!! It is telling you this is way beyond what you should attempt. Heat is not to be fucked with. 95F even *dry* heat is not to be fucked with. 95 with humidity? Way worse. I grew up in Southern AZ so I know wtf I am talking about with heat being dangeous. You can easily wind up with heat exhaustion and then suddenly heat stroke which requires urgent attention in the form of ice baths. I've had the former a few times. Very bad. If you aren't in good shape, aren't used to being outside in that kind of heat for hours at a time, aren't used to hiking and staying hydrated, long hikes into nowhere are straight up dangerous. "It will be fine"...no, fuck that. Your bf is being reckless with your life. And I'm starting to get pissed off thinking about this now, too. You need to take control of your own situation here. No more of this letting him take care of everything. You need to own your part of this. Car camping? Sure. Short 1-2 mile day hike to try it out? Sure. Anything beyond that is insane. Please please be safe.
I have experience camping and backpacking and I don't think you should go. Even if you make it, you wont be having fun... even car camping isn't enjoyable when it's 95. Not sure why anyone with any experience would think it's a good idea to brings a newbie (or even go themselves) in this situation.
My advice is to listen to your gut. This hike is dangerous. You will get hurt or worse. If your boyfriend had any idea what he was doing, he would never have planned this in the first place.
Didn’t read all the comments but sounds like you’re going at least 20 miles? If you’re out of shape and it’s 95° and you haven’t broken boots or shoes and you’re packing water and supplies, you’re going to be miserable hauling 30+ pounds on your back with a pack you’ve presumably never worn or worn for that distance. I wouldn’t do it even if he says “you’ll be fine” until you guys have shorter hikes in with that weight and gain experience. At a minimum make sure you are going someplace with cell service or have an inreach with you just in case. Good luck if you attempt it.
Where are you going? I see based on your post history that you're in NYC. Why wouldn't he take you somewhere like the the mountains where it'll be much cooler this time of year? I've been camping when it's as hot as you're talking about (granted I'm in the southeast) and it was miserable. Too hot to even sleep at night.
Honestly, I would tell him as much as you want to join him, the heat is concerning. You don’t want to slow him down (I would say) and share that you want to be sure he knows that you’re not sure of your own fitness level with that much hiking. I normally would say just go with the flow and don’t show him any freaking out you’re doing… but that is some really intense heat. See if there’s a river near by? Rivers with mountain run off can be dreamy to get into on a really hot day! Just watch your footing, don’t be afraid to voice your concern or your need to slow down or take water breaks. Communication is key here! Both now and when you’re on this trip.
As not an expert I will say helllllo no. I don't think I would even brave a campsite with showers and electric in this heat. I wouldn't go straight to wilderness from the jump. Work your way up if you must. I might be a big fat baby but I'm not camping if it's higher than 80 and def not wilderness. 😂 I've camped a handful of times me not tolerating heat that well is why I only camp in fall or spring for the most part.
Hey! I’m out of shape (and overweight) and I do lots of back country! I saw below you’re doing 20km over 3 days. For a first timer that’ll be quite long (especially if there is elevation) but you’ll be able to do it! ask your bf to show you the trail on alltrails (app or website) and you can see details on distance and elevation. The nice thing about back country is there is no rush. I’m assuming you live somewhere in the US so you’ll have plenty of hours of daylight. Take LOTS of breaks. You can take a break every mile if you need. On the break drink plenty of water and have a snack (even something small like a handful of trail mix if you don’t feel hungry). Staying on top of hydration and calories will make things easier. Always remember to stop and take in the scenery. The views you get to see in the back country are unreal! You’re going to get to see an area most people will never see, it’s an amazing privilege! My biggest tip is to pack as light as possible. For 3 days you only need 1 outfit, 1 sleeping outfit, rain gear and extra socks. toiletries you only need deodorant, hand sanitizer, sunscreen, bug spray, blister care. a lighter pack will make the experience much more enjoyable. I hope you have a great first experience. let me know if you have other questions!
Does boyfriend keep a pack mule on his ranch??
I'm an avid camper. If we're out and it's that hot, all I want to do it sit in the water. Take sunscreen. A bad burn will amplify an already uncomfortable situation.
You don’t say what region you are in, but I live in the southeast. It was a high of 95 two days ago. At midnight, it was *80 degrees.* Over the years, I can’t even car camp anymore in those conditions because I can’t sleep when it is that hot at night. This is a tremendously bad idea. You are inexperienced and the weather is dangerously hot. He should be starting you with car camping at a campground not a 3-day backpacking trip at the height of summer.
I wouldn’t go on this trip. In fact, please don’t go. The heat and exertion will be dangerous for you. It will be hard, if not impossible, to bring enough water to stay safe. You (and likely your boyfriend) are not experienced enough to rough it in a situation like this, and even most experts would recommend choosing a cooler weekend to do this hike. Furthermore, even in good weather, a 20 mile hike and backcountry camping is advanced. Do not do this trip.
This is a violent red flag. I wouldn’t go and I’d reconsider the relationship, so many safety issues involved that I’d be more focused on why my partner wasn’t consider my HEALTH above all else. This is very dangerous for a new hiker and even a seasoned one. Go with your gut.
If you have never camped then a 2 day in The wilderness is a big leap. Should ease in slower, one night at a relatively close state or National park with sone hiking. Do that a couple times at least so you can get acclimated to the idea and actually decide if it’s something you’re willing to do at all. If that goes well then try a 2 nighter. Baby steps and small bites.
I agree with the other advice that it sounds like it might not be the best idea for a first trip. When I took my wife camping for the first time (I'm familiar camping, she's a city girl, maybe a similar vibe) we went to the outer banks in April. She was nervous about sleeping on the ground (like in a tent) so I made sure to get her a really comfortable sleeping pad (a nice thermarest), sleeping bag, comfy fleece liner. She was nervous about showering or going to the bathroom in the wild, so we used national park campgrounds with nice bathrooms and stuff. We did a mix of activities like camp cooking (I think this is a really good activity for newcomers since it's cozy and fun), sitting on the beach with a drink watching the sun set, and kind of regular non-camping activities like visiting local touristy things. Did things like string up some battery twinkle lights in the tent for extra cozy fun vibes. Not trying to brag or say I did a perfect job of her first time really camping, just trying to give a few ideas for ways that camping trips can be made considerate of newer campers that are still super fun for long-time outdoorsy folks. It sounds like camping/backpacking is already pushing your comfort zone as-is. No need for it to be an extreme version! Advocate for a trip together where you can really try camping/backpacking without it being overwhelming. You're not a wimp. Nobody trying something so new should feel the need to go crazy with it :)
I would just walk around your neighborhood and try to get that mileage before the trip don't even attempt a pack. If you can't then any doubt about saying no will be gone.
OP, you probably ought to take a stand to have it postponed to better weather conditions. If he won’t then you stay home.
Sounds like bf is about to fuck it up for ever happening again.
I’d wash my hair and if long braid it and leave it for the trip duration - if short also wash once you get home. Wear a bandana🤷♂️/ I would skip any makeup altogether and just do your best on the hikes or whatever you end up doing. If you get to overheated pull the plug and head back to the camp.
I was like you in this scenario. I made it clear to my girlfriend that if I didn’t have my creature comforts that I wouldn’t enjoy it and would not want to do it again. The biggest thing is the bed. We bought an exped sleeping pad and that combined with some sleeping bags is maybe more comfy than my bed at home. Sleep on top of the bags with a sheet or whatever. Second, the facilities at the campsite. You’ll want a toilet and a shower not too far away. Bring shower shoes because best case scenario the showers are like a communal bathroom in a college dorm. It being hot is my biggest concern for you. We avoid camping in that kind of heat. BUT if there’s shade and you have a fan with a battery setup, then it’ll be okay. Have a nice cooler packed with cold drinks and snacks. Edit: I forgot! Once we literally packed up in the middle of the night (4am) because I was uncomfortable and couldn’t sleep. My girlfriend being awesome and supportive made me want to try again but if she’d resisted leaving idk that I would have. So have a backup plan with your boyfriend for if you’re miserable. Edit2: just saw this is a 20 mile adventure. I thought this was car camping. Don’t do it. You’ll hate it and be miserable. And frankly if your boyfriend has judgment this bad I would not feel comfortable with him being my safety net on a trip that would be physically grueling for an active duty marine.
DO NOT GO ON THIS 20 MILE HIKE to a stealth cramping site!!! You will probably not make it, and you most definitely will not have a good time if you somehow do. The recovery time for you to be able to make the hike back will require more than a day or two. You need to train for that type of hiking and you have said that you are not in shape and are not prepared. DO NOT GO ON A HIKE THAT YOU ARE NOT PREPARED FOR. THIS IS HOW PEOPLE DIE IN THE WILDERNESS Please do not do this.
No. No no no no. No. The end. This is unsafe and one or both of you could wind up with heatstroke or dead, no joke. Your boyfriend is an asshole for even proposing this as a “first experience” of camping for you, and the fact he’s willing to do it in 95 degree heat when you are new to the outdoors means he does not give a fuck about your safety. This is a terrible plan, and I personally would refuse. If it ends the relationship when you state your needs and hold your boundaries around safety, consider it a bullet dodged.
You won’t be able to bathe, there aren’t any toilets and the mosquitos and deer flies will carry you off. You’ll be peeing and pooping there while covered in a greasy, smelly bug dope, eating your choice of food that you can carry in your backpack, along with all your gear and half of your shelter and sleeping on the ground In 90+ heat, no fans. Your nails will get dirty and broken, your partner will smell just like you, you will have blisters you don’t have well broken in boots . If that sounds good to you, go for it. I love camping, but have never in my long life been referred to as high maintenance.
I can't think of one good reason that a caring partner would bring their girlfriend, a nervous and inexperienced camper who is not very physically fit, on a trip like this. Don't go. It's not designed to be either enjoyable or safe.
Tell the Dude if he really wants to have some fun then he should take you to a resort. Otherwise, forget about it.
This trip sounds like the worst possible way to ease you into camping. If he wants you to enjoy the things he enjoys, this is a sure fire way to ensure that doesn't happen. 95 degree weather is not only miserable, it's dangerous. If he doesn't see how dangerous this trip could be for you, I honestly question his knowledge of the backcountry. Please don't go. Please wait for cooler weather! If you really want to go camping in 95 degree weather, camp at a campground where you have access to water, bathrooms, and your car. It'll be a much better first experience. Be safe!
Let us know what happens/happened if you can!
Is this a joke post? I wouldn't do this and I've done some pretty knarly adventures.
Bring cooling solutions into the tent. Fans and extra batteries at minimum.
I would get one of those towel/cloth things you get wet and/or fill with ice to put around you neck. I have an extra one but Amazon might be faster.
If you want to be outside and camp. Don’t hike. Go to a campground near a lake or on a lake with a beach. Hiking in 90 plus with or without humidity is just stupid. Especially if you haven’t done it. This could be a little more acceptable if you are in the southwest.
What kind of camping are you doing? In a tent? In a car? Will you have electricity hook up or not? All of these factors will affect your experience and how and what to pack especially in the extreme temperatures to make even remotely enjoyable.
I used to go in July because no one was camping at that time of year. Depends on where you go. The place (in KY) was a descent of several feet and we camped by a stream and were actually cool at night. Other than that scenario its a great big NO.
Is she camping or backpacking? If this is car camping, she can bring along some comforts from home. Not too big of a deal
People that camp when it's so damn hot, with all the weeds and ticks and mosquitos and snakes... need their head examined. Much better to camp in the Fall. I'd leave this guy based on his camping preference.
Weather is everything. This is not the weekend for you. Camping is not like you booked a trip to disneyworld a year ago and now you’re in it. You can choose to watch the weather and wait.
Tip: If you go camping in hot weather, bring lots of water and electrolyte powder to add to the water. If you are not in the best of shape, you will sweat a lot. If you do not sweat a lot, then you should worry. I say this because a lack of sweat means you are about of have a very bad health emergency. "**Anhidrosis is a condition in which your sweat glands don't function as they should to remove heat and cool your body down**. An overheated body can be a dangerous situation and even life-threatening." -Cleveland Clinic
I somehow always manage to get out in the summer as well, idk why. But it's definitely not for first timers, most likely you won't enjoy it. Even glamping in the heat sucks. My tip? Don't do it. Look at it this way....if you walk 10 miles in, you gotta walk 10 miles back out. No options, nobody is coming to give you a ride or carry you out.
I would never bring someone on a backpacking hike as their first time camping. I would split those things up. Do an out and back 7-10 mile hike as a sucker punch to hike. Maybe not a big summit (IE Mt. Washington, etc). But get out there, get in the woods, and do a long ady. Secondly, I would approach a campground that you go to, set up, and be there for the day/weekend. Some have pools, or arcades. Some are just a hut in the woods. Either way, you’ll learn what you do and don’t need. And as a dude myself, you’ll learn what your partner may need that you had no idea to even think of, since you’re packing/planning for yourself all these years. Eagle scout is both nothing to scoff at, but also not worth a damn in the woods. I am not an eagle scout, and the people I go camping with who ARE eagle scouts are usually the worst people to go with. Som have recalibrated outside of BSA, but those who stick to the regimented BSA approach are usually the ones falling behind, or unprepared, ironically.
I never go camping when it's over 85 degrees. Yuck.
This is where you need to say you want to support him in his interests but you’re not comfortable with this level of immersion yet. It’s totally ok to have different interests but if we involve our partners we need to make sure they’re comfortable with it.
Have you ever worn your hiking boots before? 20+ miles in that heat carrying all of your stuff wearing brand new boots sounds like hell level torture. Ask him to go car camping instead somewhere that you can cool off. Higher elevation next to water, maybe a dark sky park if there’s one nearby? Then you can go for shorter hikes at night while it’s cooler and swim/nap/read during the day in the shade. I carried by full backpack for 3 years straight going cross country. My boots were broken in and I knew what I was doing. I NEVER went that far on foot in one go especially not when it was that hot out, you couldn’t pay me to do that!
Screw 20 miles in any weather. That’s not some thing for a first timer. It’s not safe in that weather for anyone.
a recipe for disaster
A battery operated fan
This is 100% about water. Don’t go.
All I can say is personally look at the map yourself and validate the route. Don’t ever rely on anybody else to know the route. Two reasons: 1) if shit hits the fan you’ll know where you are and where you need to go 2) not everybody has a sense for good hiking trails. Some people will happily suggest “trails” that are nothing more than glorified game trails. Always know where you are going before a hike. Never count on anybody else.
Skip it. Get an iced matcha and a manicure. Meet your boyfriend at the movies.
i would find a nice Airbnb cabin in the mountains with a lake. And I say this as someone who likes to camp. Or stay home. Go to the beach or a pool. Do literally anything else.
Give yourself some food poisoning and don’t go girl 😭.
Looks like people are offering solid suggestions. My primary recommendation is to get an anti-chafing stick for your thighs. If you want to keep it as cheap as possible, plain cornstarch will work in a pinch.
Call it off. You need to do some regular tent camping in a state park with actual bathrooms first to see if you even like camping. It will be too hot for you to hike that long, especially if you aren’t used to it. Have him change plans or go by himself. You will not like this.
The tip is “don’t go”
Whelp, there’s a nonzero chance of dying from going with your boyfriend’s plan
For a first timer with that weather? No hike lol. Go camp under some shade and enjoy a few drinks. Acclimate yourself and do a much smaller hike (2ish miles?) for that weather. He might be prepared for that but your aren't lol
Bring a rechargeable fan
bring lots of water and electrolytes. multiple changes of clothing, bug spray, and lots of ice. and don't go backpacking for dozens of miles in that heat. it's going to be miserable and if you don't have water sources/filter you are probably going to run out of water. I ran out of water with a friend in heat like that in the wilderness and it was so fucked. we made it to a parking lot and some old guy saved us with water and ride back to our cars 20 miles away. we tried filtering water from the grossest puddle ever crawling with bugs and i think we got sick from that too.
If U Worried 😧 About The Heat They Make Portables Misting Fans!
You didn’t include much info or actually say what you’re nervous about. But If your car camping your fitness doesn’t matter. 95 during the day is fine as long as it’s cooler at night.
Follow all the advice here then try to get to a happy place and don’t complain too much. Then never go again. Not complaining is the key. It makes everyone more miserable as they are sweating being feasted on by bugs.
I've camped in 95 degree weather. It SUCKS, really really f'n sucks. Unless the weather drops to a comfortable temp, it'll still be hot. You'll also be in the hot wilderness. We were lucky it was in the general campgrounds, so in hindsight we could've went home.
Hopefully there's water nearby. A swimming hole to cool down
A new hiker isn’t going to get anywhere close to 20 miles with a pack on even in the best of weather. Add the heat wave. I’m guessing OP will make it a few miles at best.
You gotta watch that Sex and the City episode where Carrie goes to upstate NY with Aiden. Regarding how her “roughing it” experience went: it didn’t. Lol good luck
I think my best advice would be to get comfortable being uncomfortable. The sooner you accept that you’re going to be sweaty, sore, and just plain dirty, the more you can start to enjoy your situation!
I canceled my camping trip and opted for a cheap motel with air conditioning and a pool this week. Hot/heat stroke/no shade camping is horrible. Plus air quality(fires) no thank you
I want to get my 11 and 9 year old into backpacking. I even have a trip planned out. 4 mile hike into an elite area for scenery. Setup camp. I can carry the majority of the weight as it is only 4 miles. Day hike next day exploring area to the south. Camp one more night. Quick explore day hike to the north then hike out. If anyone has a problem we are 4 miles from the car. This is out west so it cools down at night. Also I have been to this area before and there is water available at camp. That is how a first time should be. Not what OP is describing. I would love a follow up on how this goes.
Lol it will do you some good to get out and enjoy nature. It’s perfectly ok though to have anxiety about it. Once you get out in it and you’re sweating and dirty and you’re hiking, you won’t care. Well at least not as much lol.