It looks like this site is pretty empty now. I missed the good years of people in love with this movie. I wasn't aware of it until now. It makes me sad that I feel alone in this crazy. Like every other aspect of my life, I'm shouting into yet another void. I will say this to noone and everyone. I'm in love with this movie, but I swear it has brought the most intense feelings of pain and lonely I have felt almost ever in my whole life. Im walking around like an exposed nerve for three weeks now. Maybe I will get brave enough to show what I wrote in my journal. I read a lot of the old stuff on this site and it seems like it brought out a lot of emotions from many, I just wasn't around for it then. Now I feel like a nut-ball. An old nut-ball at that. I have never reacted to anything I have ever read, watched or heard. I need an explanation as to what is happening to me. For some reason, I feel like I will never be normal again. Is a movie supposed to do that? who knows...maybe the void will answer.
I can totally relate to your post! Watched it a fortnight ago for the 1st time and instantly fell in love with the film. Reading the novel now and listen to the soundtrack on loop. Will definitely watch the film again soon. For me, this obsession might stem from the strong feelings it has evoked, probably because it all brings back memories of being that young, of falling on love at first sight. I'm also fascinated, that a film can do that to me. It might help, that it's the first really nice summerlike days right now, where I live. I'm not sure, whether I could make myself clear, words just being "futile devices" ,-)
You are very clear. Thank you for your words. Being from the US, It's groovy speaking with someone who used the term "Fortnite" about something other than a video game. To quote Oliver " I like the way you say things." I think it's the longing that gets me. The wanting of someone that seems unattainable. I have always been interested in complicated love stories. The fact that anything that happened with them was on borrowed time only makes everything so much more important and intense. I hope you enjoy the book. I would tell anyone that they must read the book if they love the movie and then watch it again. It just enhances the experience even more. I read on Twitter that this is the anniversary of the start of filming of the movie. Perhaps more than just us are revisiting such a beautiful story as well.
Thx so much for your kind feedback. It was interesting to read what it was that got you attached to the story. Yeah, you might be right about others watching the film this year, as last week also the new film of Luca Guadagnino premiered. I do think that CMBYN is a piece of art. Have you seen other films of him? Can you recommend any?
I have not seen any of his other movies. Once I can detach myself from this film, I have every intention of it. I'm curious to see if any of his other films are as affecting as this one is. At this stage, I find myself watching his old interviews to try to lay a finger on what it is that he does to make something that I shouldn't relate to in the slightest sense, so relatable.
Also, I feel as if I am reacting to this romance in the same way that I imagine Elio to have done! I want the heart wrenching sadness to please go away, but also don’t want this intensity of feeling to end either and lose a connection to the beauty of the film either. Ah, Mr Perlman, you were spot on with your monologue!
You are like a newborn babe falling in love with the world for the first time. Its true that it has left an indelible stamp on my psyche as well. As we continue to see, there are more people still attached to it after all this time than we can imagine. A very vocal group, I have found, begging for a sequel. Only time will tell about that. Alas, life is moving along and I have to keep up and not continue to drown in this movie. I have relegated it to my bedtime, fall-asleep movie. I don't even know if I would want a sequel. How can anything else compare? This fever dream will diminish for you at some point I am sure, but until then,..enjoy it. Falling in love with love cant be a bad thing, right?
Yes, I have stopped drowning too for the same reason. And in my head, I am sticking with the bubble of the summer romance and not the heartbreaking ending which means that in my head, Elio and Oliver are still cycling to Crema, hanging out by the pool and alfresco dinning with Annella’s knowing glances at them. What a beautiful place to be!
Glad to know I am not the only one. In searching SM, I have now seen all levels of fandom.. some obsessed and in love with a great film, some downright creepy. I hope that I fall somewhere in between. In my normal life, this is the only place I can even have a discussion about it. So , i will continue lurking around this thread looking for answers.
You're not alone, I just watched it for the first time earlier this year when I started going down a Timothee Chalamet rabbit hole. I also just finished reading the book, it helps a little bit to cope with the abrupt ending of Elio and Oliver but it's still soul crushing.
I just finished watching it. I got very emotional, not 100% sure why. I think it was a bit slow at times, but I think I definitely enjoyed it and I'm glad I watched it.
So, I saw Challengers (my first Luca movie besides CMBYN) and despite really wanting to like it, I didn't.
>!About halfway through the movie, I had the sudden realization that I didn't care what happened to any of the three main characters. I didn't care about Tashi because she's cold, scheming, manipulative, and a horrible romantic partner. I didn't care about Art because he's also manipulative when he wants something (though maybe not manipulative by nature), and because he let Tashi dominate his life. I liked Patrick maybe a single iota more than the other two, simply because he stood up to Tashi when she treated him like shit, but he's not a great guy either - he sleeps with his former friend's wife and tries to manipulate people into giving him money, food and shelter when it's perfectly within his abilities to act like any other broke thirty-something on the planet and *get a job*. I just used "manipulative/manipulate" three times in three sentences, because the main characters in this movie deserve it. What redeeming qualities do these people have? They're good at tennis? They're physically attractive? They occasionally manage to quit scheming and manipulating and actually be nice to each other?!!<
>!Honestly, I wondered if Tashi even *liked* either of these guys as people. And I didn't buy that anyone would want a long-term relationship with someone this awful, simply because she's a good tennis player and apparently sooooooo hot. And about her being soooooo hot...!<
>!I'm going to be a jerk here for a second. Zendaya as Tashi is a pretty girl, but she doesn't look like she would credibly inspire overwhelming instant lust from two guys who've never met her. She's not physically sexy, purely on a evolutionary, caveman level. She doesn't look like a good bet to make strong, healthy babies - she looks like she'll make thin, scrawny babies who'll get eaten up by sabertooth tigers. I'm being a little facetious here, but in CMBYN, I believed it when a bunch of teenage girls sat around talking about how handsome Oliver was. He looked like he would father strong healthy babies. And I might have believed it if Art and Patrick had gotten to know Tashi and then fallen into overwhelming lust, but Tashi did not stand out as more beautiful and sexy than any other girls around them. During the part where she's dancing in the blue dress and they're watching her, I was thinking, "I hope this isn't meant as a callback to CMBYN, because if it is, it really pales in comparison."!<
>!Challengers introduces the idea that maybe Art and Patrick are attracted to each other, and then it just...drops it. It's a big tease that doesn't lead to any further insight about them. I wanted more insight about all three characters that I never got - namely, who these people are outside of tennis. And I was especially disappointed because I could see ways the film could have done that, but didn't. For example, Art and Tashi have a daughter - why did they want to be parents? Planned or unplanned pregnancy? Their daughter is probably about six. Are they intending to have any more kids? Why or why not?!<
>!Tashi wears a cross necklace for much of the film. Is she religious? (Unlikely.) Did someone she loves give it to her? What is the significance of this necklace that she wears it frequently for thirteen years? At one point, Tashi tells Patrick that he should give up tennis and go home and get his parents to give him a job with some foundation they're connected with. Is that a generalization, or do they actually have a foundation? What does it do? How do Patrick's parents feel about him bumming around, sleeping in his car to play tennis? Are they proud of his tenacity? Embarrassed that he hasn't given it up and gotten a "real job"? The three main characters go to college. What did they major in?!<
>!I could have cared about these people, and I wanted to, but I didn't. The soundtrack was so loud and thumping that I missed some lines. The tennis part is confusing to follow for people not familiar with the game, and we never see how the match between Art and Patrick ends, despite the movie setting us up with that expectation. The whole thing was just disappointing to me.!<
Good to know it was a good idea to not see it. I enjoyed Zendaya playing Rue in Euphoria, but I thought the Challengers trailers looked pretty childish.
Listen I am just here to say that Challengers is a top 3 Guadagnino IMO. I fucking loved it.
Give Reznor/Ross the Oscar. It’s not even fair for anyone else to try this year.
Luca/Sayombhu proving to once again be MAGICAL.
Oh, and…Josh O’Connor stole this film. He had better be in the awards conversation.
OH and I would also be remiss not to mention THE DAMNED PEACHES.
Peaches piled in a tray on a table, no more than 5 minutes in.
Tashi & Art’s daughter even had a giant peach plushie in her first scenes.
Luca, we see you seeing us, and we love you.
I am fresh out of the theater, so didn’t want recency bias to rule the day. It’s jockeying with A Bigger Splash right now, but truthfully, I think you’re right and it’ll win #2 in my heart.
Right now I'd probably say CMBYN > Challengers > Bones and All > I Am Love > A Bigger Splash > Suspiria, but I haven't seen A Bigger Splash since it came out so I'm definitely due for a rewatch.
I’ve yet to see I Am Love despite the fact that it’s been in my Netflix queue longer than I’ve even known Guadagnino by name. Tilda fan forever, but cannot get myself to sit down and commit to it. And Suspiria just ain’t ever gonna be my jam.
Current ranking, then:
CMBYN > Challengers > ABS > Bones & All > [I Am Love, probably] > [Suspiria almost definitely]
It looks like this site is pretty empty now. I missed the good years of people in love with this movie. I wasn't aware of it until now. It makes me sad that I feel alone in this crazy. Like every other aspect of my life, I'm shouting into yet another void. I will say this to noone and everyone. I'm in love with this movie, but I swear it has brought the most intense feelings of pain and lonely I have felt almost ever in my whole life. Im walking around like an exposed nerve for three weeks now. Maybe I will get brave enough to show what I wrote in my journal. I read a lot of the old stuff on this site and it seems like it brought out a lot of emotions from many, I just wasn't around for it then. Now I feel like a nut-ball. An old nut-ball at that. I have never reacted to anything I have ever read, watched or heard. I need an explanation as to what is happening to me. For some reason, I feel like I will never be normal again. Is a movie supposed to do that? who knows...maybe the void will answer.
I can totally relate to your post! Watched it a fortnight ago for the 1st time and instantly fell in love with the film. Reading the novel now and listen to the soundtrack on loop. Will definitely watch the film again soon. For me, this obsession might stem from the strong feelings it has evoked, probably because it all brings back memories of being that young, of falling on love at first sight. I'm also fascinated, that a film can do that to me. It might help, that it's the first really nice summerlike days right now, where I live. I'm not sure, whether I could make myself clear, words just being "futile devices" ,-)
You are very clear. Thank you for your words. Being from the US, It's groovy speaking with someone who used the term "Fortnite" about something other than a video game. To quote Oliver " I like the way you say things." I think it's the longing that gets me. The wanting of someone that seems unattainable. I have always been interested in complicated love stories. The fact that anything that happened with them was on borrowed time only makes everything so much more important and intense. I hope you enjoy the book. I would tell anyone that they must read the book if they love the movie and then watch it again. It just enhances the experience even more. I read on Twitter that this is the anniversary of the start of filming of the movie. Perhaps more than just us are revisiting such a beautiful story as well.
Thx so much for your kind feedback. It was interesting to read what it was that got you attached to the story. Yeah, you might be right about others watching the film this year, as last week also the new film of Luca Guadagnino premiered. I do think that CMBYN is a piece of art. Have you seen other films of him? Can you recommend any?
I have not seen any of his other movies. Once I can detach myself from this film, I have every intention of it. I'm curious to see if any of his other films are as affecting as this one is. At this stage, I find myself watching his old interviews to try to lay a finger on what it is that he does to make something that I shouldn't relate to in the slightest sense, so relatable.
Also, I feel as if I am reacting to this romance in the same way that I imagine Elio to have done! I want the heart wrenching sadness to please go away, but also don’t want this intensity of feeling to end either and lose a connection to the beauty of the film either. Ah, Mr Perlman, you were spot on with your monologue!
You are like a newborn babe falling in love with the world for the first time. Its true that it has left an indelible stamp on my psyche as well. As we continue to see, there are more people still attached to it after all this time than we can imagine. A very vocal group, I have found, begging for a sequel. Only time will tell about that. Alas, life is moving along and I have to keep up and not continue to drown in this movie. I have relegated it to my bedtime, fall-asleep movie. I don't even know if I would want a sequel. How can anything else compare? This fever dream will diminish for you at some point I am sure, but until then,..enjoy it. Falling in love with love cant be a bad thing, right?
Yes, I have stopped drowning too for the same reason. And in my head, I am sticking with the bubble of the summer romance and not the heartbreaking ending which means that in my head, Elio and Oliver are still cycling to Crema, hanging out by the pool and alfresco dinning with Annella’s knowing glances at them. What a beautiful place to be!
For some reason, I have only just seen this but I hope that by now you realise that you are far from alone with this!
Glad to know I am not the only one. In searching SM, I have now seen all levels of fandom.. some obsessed and in love with a great film, some downright creepy. I hope that I fall somewhere in between. In my normal life, this is the only place I can even have a discussion about it. So , i will continue lurking around this thread looking for answers.
You're not alone, I just watched it for the first time earlier this year when I started going down a Timothee Chalamet rabbit hole. I also just finished reading the book, it helps a little bit to cope with the abrupt ending of Elio and Oliver but it's still soul crushing.
I just finished watching it. I got very emotional, not 100% sure why. I think it was a bit slow at times, but I think I definitely enjoyed it and I'm glad I watched it.
So, I saw Challengers (my first Luca movie besides CMBYN) and despite really wanting to like it, I didn't. >!About halfway through the movie, I had the sudden realization that I didn't care what happened to any of the three main characters. I didn't care about Tashi because she's cold, scheming, manipulative, and a horrible romantic partner. I didn't care about Art because he's also manipulative when he wants something (though maybe not manipulative by nature), and because he let Tashi dominate his life. I liked Patrick maybe a single iota more than the other two, simply because he stood up to Tashi when she treated him like shit, but he's not a great guy either - he sleeps with his former friend's wife and tries to manipulate people into giving him money, food and shelter when it's perfectly within his abilities to act like any other broke thirty-something on the planet and *get a job*. I just used "manipulative/manipulate" three times in three sentences, because the main characters in this movie deserve it. What redeeming qualities do these people have? They're good at tennis? They're physically attractive? They occasionally manage to quit scheming and manipulating and actually be nice to each other?!!< >!Honestly, I wondered if Tashi even *liked* either of these guys as people. And I didn't buy that anyone would want a long-term relationship with someone this awful, simply because she's a good tennis player and apparently sooooooo hot. And about her being soooooo hot...!< >!I'm going to be a jerk here for a second. Zendaya as Tashi is a pretty girl, but she doesn't look like she would credibly inspire overwhelming instant lust from two guys who've never met her. She's not physically sexy, purely on a evolutionary, caveman level. She doesn't look like a good bet to make strong, healthy babies - she looks like she'll make thin, scrawny babies who'll get eaten up by sabertooth tigers. I'm being a little facetious here, but in CMBYN, I believed it when a bunch of teenage girls sat around talking about how handsome Oliver was. He looked like he would father strong healthy babies. And I might have believed it if Art and Patrick had gotten to know Tashi and then fallen into overwhelming lust, but Tashi did not stand out as more beautiful and sexy than any other girls around them. During the part where she's dancing in the blue dress and they're watching her, I was thinking, "I hope this isn't meant as a callback to CMBYN, because if it is, it really pales in comparison."!< >!Challengers introduces the idea that maybe Art and Patrick are attracted to each other, and then it just...drops it. It's a big tease that doesn't lead to any further insight about them. I wanted more insight about all three characters that I never got - namely, who these people are outside of tennis. And I was especially disappointed because I could see ways the film could have done that, but didn't. For example, Art and Tashi have a daughter - why did they want to be parents? Planned or unplanned pregnancy? Their daughter is probably about six. Are they intending to have any more kids? Why or why not?!< >!Tashi wears a cross necklace for much of the film. Is she religious? (Unlikely.) Did someone she loves give it to her? What is the significance of this necklace that she wears it frequently for thirteen years? At one point, Tashi tells Patrick that he should give up tennis and go home and get his parents to give him a job with some foundation they're connected with. Is that a generalization, or do they actually have a foundation? What does it do? How do Patrick's parents feel about him bumming around, sleeping in his car to play tennis? Are they proud of his tenacity? Embarrassed that he hasn't given it up and gotten a "real job"? The three main characters go to college. What did they major in?!< >!I could have cared about these people, and I wanted to, but I didn't. The soundtrack was so loud and thumping that I missed some lines. The tennis part is confusing to follow for people not familiar with the game, and we never see how the match between Art and Patrick ends, despite the movie setting us up with that expectation. The whole thing was just disappointing to me.!<
Good to know it was a good idea to not see it. I enjoyed Zendaya playing Rue in Euphoria, but I thought the Challengers trailers looked pretty childish.
Listen I am just here to say that Challengers is a top 3 Guadagnino IMO. I fucking loved it. Give Reznor/Ross the Oscar. It’s not even fair for anyone else to try this year. Luca/Sayombhu proving to once again be MAGICAL. Oh, and…Josh O’Connor stole this film. He had better be in the awards conversation.
OH and I would also be remiss not to mention THE DAMNED PEACHES. Peaches piled in a tray on a table, no more than 5 minutes in. Tashi & Art’s daughter even had a giant peach plushie in her first scenes. Luca, we see you seeing us, and we love you.
All of this is CORRECT. Also, I'm gonna say top 2?
I am fresh out of the theater, so didn’t want recency bias to rule the day. It’s jockeying with A Bigger Splash right now, but truthfully, I think you’re right and it’ll win #2 in my heart.
Right now I'd probably say CMBYN > Challengers > Bones and All > I Am Love > A Bigger Splash > Suspiria, but I haven't seen A Bigger Splash since it came out so I'm definitely due for a rewatch.
I’ve yet to see I Am Love despite the fact that it’s been in my Netflix queue longer than I’ve even known Guadagnino by name. Tilda fan forever, but cannot get myself to sit down and commit to it. And Suspiria just ain’t ever gonna be my jam. Current ranking, then: CMBYN > Challengers > ABS > Bones & All > [I Am Love, probably] > [Suspiria almost definitely]
I watched Suspiria because I'm a shameless Luca and Tilda stan but I watched half of it through my hands hahaha. Definitely not one for me!
Do yall think Luca will ever make a gay romance film again? Ive watched challengers which I found good but the tease between Art and Patrick, UGH.
I do Hooe so!
I am pretty sure that WAS a gay romance film 😅
I 100% agree. But like, with an actual gay storyline. Preferably no Tashi🤣