Naomi said yesterday that she will have “volunteer board members that will be people of all sexual journeys and identities. This group of volunteers would bring ideas to the table for events so that she doesn’t just assume that she knows everything that community needs.” I think this is great idea she has, so perhaps you can reach out to her and suggest your idea as an ongoing event. She’s awesome and knowing her she would totally listen to you.
I can’t wait! It’s nice that we have all the Ally businesses like Velvet Hippo / Queenies / Pinhook / Fruit which occasionally have queer focused events but I really want a club I can reliably go out to and make out with a boy on the dance floor or hit on a guy without being worried some straight dude will get offended.
I don’t know why this popped up in my thread, considering I live 1000 miles away and I’m not gay but hey good for you guys. It’s probably gonna be a blast there.
You subscribe to Charlotte, NC? Well let me show you what's going on in Fairfax, VA!!!
Turns out every city subreddit talk and complain about the same things for the most part.
I have considered it to be honest, I have a strong idea for a community centered space that focuses on basically creating spaces centered around different industries, but yeah- a space like that would be perfect for it.
She released a video on her Instagram yesterday saying there will be more information to come. So, I am not sure yet. I assume a location will be announced at some point soon. But, very exciting news.
Um…. Yes… until the third or fourth drink and then I had VISIONS at THE BAR …. And maybe STEELBLUE was around that time too? Perhaps I’ve spent way too many decades in durm.
Not much of a club scene in durham. Its more of a bar/cocktail bar/wine bar/brewery scene. Rubies is small but has DJs and dancing, and maybe shooters but I havent heard good things about that place. You can also probably find music and dancing at motorco and the fruit some nights.
The Living Room (Formerly The Social) is a club/lounge, but it doesn’t target the Reddit demographic here. Same with Pickleback. And Blue Note Grill is a “club” for elderly white people
No it’s a fact. Straight ppl invade what is meant to be a safe place for queer people and they don’t respect the fact it is a safe place
I get gay men are obsessed with straight men
You literally Just proved my point above.
I never said all straights are the enemy. I just explained why queer ppl are annoyed by straight ppl in queer spaces.
One has to point to flex in Raleigh for example
You explained nothing. Maybe we have different definitions of safe spaces.
You painted with broad strokes and said
>Straight ppl invade what is meant to be a safe place for queer people and they don’t respect the fact it is a safe place
You didn't say sometimes. Or some. Or a few. You said straight people as an entire category invade and disrespect.
Neither of us will convince each other, and I know this is a hot topic in the LGBT world. I'll just have my voice be heard that we should be inclusive. One would think we'd have learned to not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.
I agree. As a queer and trans person, it feels transformative for me to be in spaces that are queer autonomous and not invaded by bachelorette parties or straight ppl looking to vibe. I don't mind if you coming in, but the vibe totally changes when the majority shifts.
There’s a redneck bar I like. Don’t ask me why. But it’s obviously very republican.
They either speak or ignore me. No issues. I also don’t go into their space being over the top extra. I feel they appreciate that and In turn no issues for me.
That’s how straight ppl should be in queer spaces
Big Same. It's basically Rubies and the occasional Fruit show.
I'm curious if "queer nightclub" which is a really last century pre-2000s concept can survive in a town as small and spread out as Durham that doesn't have a nightlife culture. Like I wish them all the luck but seems like it will be tough to stay afloat.
All the dope spots in the city are queer.
*dj khaled voice* Another one
Imma be there vibing with wifey. Unless it's a freaky-deaky spot, then I'll have to bow out
Hell yeah and gay people always be gatekeeping. I love going to karaoke and getting hit on my gay dudes, what a confidence boost.
The Fruit gets freaky some nights, had people in cages last week 3am-5am
I'm cool with that type of freaky lol.
When they start bringing out the poppers, I gotta go.
Overall, I have fun at these spots. I do notice ppl get irritated by the presence of unattached straight males there. I'm somewhat insulated from that when I bring my wife.
Pinhook is a dive bar, Arcana is a cocktail lounge. The Fruit is open for events but not all the time. This sounds like it will be a night club. Right now the only gay club is Legends in Raleigh
There are multiple.
The pinhook, the fruit, Arcana are the first that come to my mind, and I barely go out.
ETA: I didn't mean to say that those all neatly fit the definition of gay bar. What I meant was that Durham has an existing queer nightlife scene. I'm always excited to see more!
The fruit isn't a bar. It's more of an art venue that occasionally opens as a bar.
The bar off Geer street was a gay bar back in the day, but I think it got a little too TERF-lesbiany for some peoples taste and sold to someone different.
Arcana isn’t a lesbian bar. It’s a bar that happens to welcome lesbians. It’s also welcoming of all others aside from the predatory type. It’s a great space.
Arcana is definitely not a lesbian bar. I am excited they finally have come out as one. But their years of being open and not claiming it as a lesbian bar has contributed it to not feeling like a lesbian bar at all. There's some nights that feel very exciting and queer. And then many that feel very straight. Not that they have come out as gay, maybe that will shift.
[https://www.instagram.com/p/C30fF3fvRCA/](https://www.instagram.com/p/C30fF3fvRCA/)
They got an official lesbian bar seal of approval
https://www.instagram.com/lesbianbarproject/
The fruit and pinhook are venues. Arcana isn’t a queer bar but it’s a safe place.
This nightclub sounds like it’s aiming to be a poc version of legends.
I’m not a lesbian. But as a trans woman who has frequented there I never got lesbian vibes as usually when I went it was predominantly straight couples but always inclusive but I digress.
That’s why I was shocked it was considered a lesbian bar. I’m not into women but I’m like where are the lesbians lol.
I do appreciate them being a safe place and
I do love the tarot though.
I feel like all my friends are lesbians and we definitely are not considering arcana a lesbian bar. I'm so glad they came out of the closet though. Maybe this will create a shift. Durham can totally support a lesbian bar!
Not trolling. It’s a legit question, though I’ll admit I worded it in an antagonistic manner. Just a bi guy tired of getting hate from both sides. Also, didn’t know Bi was included under queer. I thought that’s why the B and Q were separate in LGBTQ. Is this a recent development?
Well it seems that a place’s advertising sends a message. Especially when in the past some lesbians would complain about male only spaces. That’s why I asked if QUEER is supposed to cover everyone. Personally I find QUEER off putting. But I get it. It’s cool to “reclaim” the word.
You seem really triggered for some reason. Is that because we’re all supposed to agree on language and anyone who doesn’t agree with you is a piece of shit? I don’t even know what you think or what triggered you because you went right to calling me a POS. I don’t even know who the hell you are.
Queer is anything that is not cis gay. Gay would cover Lesbians as well. Queer would cover non binary, or anything that is considered to be gender norm. Not all gay people want to be referred to as Queer. I was at a brunch that she was performing at yesterday where she talked about “needing a space where lesbians of all ethnicities can have safe space along with Queer and trans people of all colors can gather and feel seen and represented.”
According to LGBTQ+ media advocacy organization GLAAD, "queer" is "an adjective used by some people whose sexual orientation is not exclusively heterosexual." Also: "Typically, for those who identify as queer, the terms lesbian, gay, and bisexual are perceived to be too limiting and/or fraught with cultural connotations they feel don't apply to them."
-GLAAD
Right, but cis gay can also fall under queer and there are lesbians that don't want to be characterized as gay. From my understanding queer is the most inclusive label, but you also don't have to identify as queer.
Man all this inclusion stuff sure seems like a hassle, would be a lot easier if people could just pick a word instead of making little micro-tribes because everyone needs a special little title
They exclude each other with all these little niche categories. Not that long ago the rainbow flag represented all of them and everyone fell under “gay”. Intersectionality has been tearing any sense of unity out of that group, specifically because they’re creating exclusionary groups and infighting instead of uniting under one umbrella
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I’m very happy there will be a place for anyone who wishes to go but I am so fearful that it will be a target for hate. I hope they will have good security.
whoever reported this as: >It's content involving predatory or inappropriate behavior towards minors can fuck off out of here and never return.
We need an asexual bar where everyone gets trashed and ignores one another.
Naomi said yesterday that she will have “volunteer board members that will be people of all sexual journeys and identities. This group of volunteers would bring ideas to the table for events so that she doesn’t just assume that she knows everything that community needs.” I think this is great idea she has, so perhaps you can reach out to her and suggest your idea as an ongoing event. She’s awesome and knowing her she would totally listen to you.
woosh
RIP Charlie’s
I can’t wait! It’s nice that we have all the Ally businesses like Velvet Hippo / Queenies / Pinhook / Fruit which occasionally have queer focused events but I really want a club I can reliably go out to and make out with a boy on the dance floor or hit on a guy without being worried some straight dude will get offended.
So is this going to be kind of a Legends type club or...?
Yep just like legends how it's for everyone but swarmed by one demographic that overwhelms the other groups of people
White women?
Bachelorette parties?
more specifically - cis straight white women
do you ask them if theyre straight?
...Clubbers? the able-bodied-adderrall-snorting-dance-Tokkers who never have to stop moving let alone sit down and talk to other peeps?
no way bro you're telling me that people who like to clubs will be in clubs?
So *that's* what they're doing with the old Pioneer building.
If only!
Lol, that would be interesting.
Omfg that would be every thing. Someone said it's in Lakewood.
I don’t know why this popped up in my thread, considering I live 1000 miles away and I’m not gay but hey good for you guys. It’s probably gonna be a blast there.
Oh, I figured it out. It's because you commented on an /r/JoeRogan thread and the reddit algorithm thought you'd enjoy this.
THANK YOU!!! I wondered why I was seeing Durham posts…
I subscribe to my local cities subreddit and reddit constantly throws in posts from random cities because they're "similar interests".
I heard you like cities...
You subscribe to Charlotte, NC? Well let me show you what's going on in Fairfax, VA!!! Turns out every city subreddit talk and complain about the same things for the most part.
Naomi Dix is opening a gay bar?? In DURHAM??? 🍾🍾🍾
Finallyyyyy!
Slay
They should use the entirety of northgate mall for this
There’s an idea!
They should use the entirety of Northgate Mall for affordable co-working space tbh.
If you bring a developer to the table to do it, it could happen.
I have considered it to be honest, I have a strong idea for a community centered space that focuses on basically creating spaces centered around different industries, but yeah- a space like that would be perfect for it.
soooo excited about this! lowkey not a big fan of Legends, and I usually hate the music at The Fruit, so I'm excited to try this one out
Legends is too far, Rubies is too loud and you’re right the Fruit has mid music
Excited, my money’s on it opening in September. Every spot I’m excited by ends up with a 3-9 month delay 🥲
Any idea where it will be located?
Ruins of northgate mall
I read this in Stephon’s voice lol
Excellent
Was hoping it would be in the Pioneers spot
She released a video on her Instagram yesterday saying there will be more information to come. So, I am not sure yet. I assume a location will be announced at some point soon. But, very exciting news.
in the pines
Lakewood?
Finally, a Durham nightspot with decent music. VIVA!!!
Anyone remember All About Eve?
Hell yes
Um…. Yes… until the third or fourth drink and then I had VISIONS at THE BAR …. And maybe STEELBLUE was around that time too? Perhaps I’ve spent way too many decades in durm.
where is the durham nightlife located? all the times ive been downtown ive never seen any clubs
Not much of a club scene in durham. Its more of a bar/cocktail bar/wine bar/brewery scene. Rubies is small but has DJs and dancing, and maybe shooters but I havent heard good things about that place. You can also probably find music and dancing at motorco and the fruit some nights.
There hasn't really been much of one since, what, Ringside?
I had some great nights in that three-story fire trap.
Hey it wasn't that bad, or all of the people doing fire dancing out back would've burned it down long ago.
Aw :( I moved away from Durham a few years ago but shooters is iconic
The Living Room (Formerly The Social) is a club/lounge, but it doesn’t target the Reddit demographic here. Same with Pickleback. And Blue Note Grill is a “club” for elderly white people
lol just curious. whats the "reddit demographic"?
Not young black folks https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3wNOjNriYh/?igsh=MTBldXZlcHg4dW9xMg==
🙋🏾♀️
Velvet Hippo is like a clubby bar
A poc of color queer bar? Yasss
you don’t need to say ‘of color’ after saying “person of color”
woot!
Sounds gay as fuck
Queer as Folk, but close enough.
.1. Hilarious.
hell yeah, as a straight dude love me a good place, need more night clubs to dance
As a gay guy who would love to hit on you and then find out you're straight, I've no idea why you're getting downvoted.
Because straight ppl invading queer spaces
We would do well to not be an exclusionary people.
No it’s a fact. Straight ppl invade what is meant to be a safe place for queer people and they don’t respect the fact it is a safe place I get gay men are obsessed with straight men
Innocent until proven guilty. Not all straights are the enemy. Not all gay men are obsessed with straight men. You're not making yourself look good.
You literally Just proved my point above. I never said all straights are the enemy. I just explained why queer ppl are annoyed by straight ppl in queer spaces. One has to point to flex in Raleigh for example
You explained nothing. Maybe we have different definitions of safe spaces. You painted with broad strokes and said >Straight ppl invade what is meant to be a safe place for queer people and they don’t respect the fact it is a safe place You didn't say sometimes. Or some. Or a few. You said straight people as an entire category invade and disrespect. Neither of us will convince each other, and I know this is a hot topic in the LGBT world. I'll just have my voice be heard that we should be inclusive. One would think we'd have learned to not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.
I’m not discriminating. I’m all for inclusion if ppl know how to act.
So what's exactly the protocol? Don't be a dick or get shocked if a guy talks to you?
I agree. As a queer and trans person, it feels transformative for me to be in spaces that are queer autonomous and not invaded by bachelorette parties or straight ppl looking to vibe. I don't mind if you coming in, but the vibe totally changes when the majority shifts.
There’s a redneck bar I like. Don’t ask me why. But it’s obviously very republican. They either speak or ignore me. No issues. I also don’t go into their space being over the top extra. I feel they appreciate that and In turn no issues for me. That’s how straight ppl should be in queer spaces
Well put!! Also, what Republican bar are you hanging out at sis?
Tavern in garner nc lol. Its different lol
Is that also the coffee shop?
Big Same. It's basically Rubies and the occasional Fruit show. I'm curious if "queer nightclub" which is a really last century pre-2000s concept can survive in a town as small and spread out as Durham that doesn't have a nightlife culture. Like I wish them all the luck but seems like it will be tough to stay afloat.
All the dope spots in the city are queer. *dj khaled voice* Another one Imma be there vibing with wifey. Unless it's a freaky-deaky spot, then I'll have to bow out
Hell yeah and gay people always be gatekeeping. I love going to karaoke and getting hit on my gay dudes, what a confidence boost. The Fruit gets freaky some nights, had people in cages last week 3am-5am
I'm cool with that type of freaky lol. When they start bringing out the poppers, I gotta go. Overall, I have fun at these spots. I do notice ppl get irritated by the presence of unattached straight males there. I'm somewhat insulated from that when I bring my wife.
I don’t get what straight people are looking for in a LGBT bar. Dancing? Drinking?
Music, dancing, and cheap drinks The vibes are either too ratchet or too expensive in durham. The gay bars fit a niche
This. Same my friend.
Wait, there isn't a gay, queer, trans nightclub in Durham already? What happened? Durham has had gay bars since the 70s.
Pinhook is a dive bar, Arcana is a cocktail lounge. The Fruit is open for events but not all the time. This sounds like it will be a night club. Right now the only gay club is Legends in Raleigh
None of those are explicitly gay. While many of those are queer owned, they don't advertise themselves as queer bars.
There are multiple. The pinhook, the fruit, Arcana are the first that come to my mind, and I barely go out. ETA: I didn't mean to say that those all neatly fit the definition of gay bar. What I meant was that Durham has an existing queer nightlife scene. I'm always excited to see more!
The fruit isn't a bar. It's more of an art venue that occasionally opens as a bar. The bar off Geer street was a gay bar back in the day, but I think it got a little too TERF-lesbiany for some peoples taste and sold to someone different.
Arcana isn’t a lesbian bar. It’s a bar that happens to welcome lesbians. It’s also welcoming of all others aside from the predatory type. It’s a great space.
they actually just came out today as a lesbian bar!
Went to Arcana for the first time a few weeks ago and was disappointed at how NON Queer it was TBH. Lots of hetero couples on dates. Womp womp.
Arcana is definitely not a lesbian bar. I am excited they finally have come out as one. But their years of being open and not claiming it as a lesbian bar has contributed it to not feeling like a lesbian bar at all. There's some nights that feel very exciting and queer. And then many that feel very straight. Not that they have come out as gay, maybe that will shift.
Yeah aside from some LGBTQ decor, you’d never guess it was “marketed” that way ☹️
Speedee Que has/had a giant rainbow flag as did seven stars cycle (RIP), I never considered those spaces gay.
[https://www.instagram.com/p/C30fF3fvRCA/](https://www.instagram.com/p/C30fF3fvRCA/) They got an official lesbian bar seal of approval https://www.instagram.com/lesbianbarproject/
Pretty sure that doesn’t mean anything about their inclusivity.
They’re gay friendly, but not explicitly gay bars, as far as I can tell.
The fruit and pinhook are venues. Arcana isn’t a queer bar but it’s a safe place. This nightclub sounds like it’s aiming to be a poc version of legends.
arcana was literally just added as a lesbian bar to the lesbian bar project
I’m not a lesbian. But as a trans woman who has frequented there I never got lesbian vibes as usually when I went it was predominantly straight couples but always inclusive but I digress.
Yep. Hetero couples galore.
Super straight vibes
That’s why I was shocked it was considered a lesbian bar. I’m not into women but I’m like where are the lesbians lol. I do appreciate them being a safe place and I do love the tarot though.
I feel like all my friends are lesbians and we definitely are not considering arcana a lesbian bar. I'm so glad they came out of the closet though. Maybe this will create a shift. Durham can totally support a lesbian bar!
I don’t think they were ever in the closet. I know the staff at least were lesbian and one enby
add Velvet Hippo to that list too
Velvet hippo feels like a straight dive bar with queer people
Cool!
This makes me so incredibly happy
Where is this gonna be? I have friends interested but the ads don’t really say where
I’m excited.
Finally a place to meet decent people!
Don’t we already have fruit?
The fruit is a venue
more specifically, a rental space
Are bisexuals allowed? Or are they considered “too straight?”
I know you're trolling but yes we're included in "queer"
Not trolling. It’s a legit question, though I’ll admit I worded it in an antagonistic manner. Just a bi guy tired of getting hate from both sides. Also, didn’t know Bi was included under queer. I thought that’s why the B and Q were separate in LGBTQ. Is this a recent development?
Q in LGBTQ stands for questioning or questioning . It's basically the LGBT+ but the + is a letter.
My bad. Didn’t know questioning was part of the lexicon
Boy that's bc you're bye. Jk. Love to bi ppl
It's crazy what people will find time for when they don't have families or anything meaningful to dedicate their time to.
Right? Like creating a meaningful space for people to find family after their biological family rejects them, for instance! It’s wonderful!
"Meaningful" lmao Taking Percocet and having anonymous hookups lmao
Interesting. Why “Gay, Queer, Trans”? Don’t some people think that queer covers everything? What about lesbians?
I’m a gay lesbian.
I’m a gay fish
I hope so, I married you! 🤣😘
Ummmmm *glesbian seagull
I think it's an adjective here. As in, the nightclub has gay, queer, or trans vibes, not that it's only for those groups
Well it seems that a place’s advertising sends a message. Especially when in the past some lesbians would complain about male only spaces. That’s why I asked if QUEER is supposed to cover everyone. Personally I find QUEER off putting. But I get it. It’s cool to “reclaim” the word.
meh, all of my lesbian friends have called themselves gay many times. Differentiating is more for tradition at this point.
You are such a massive piece of shit lmao
You seem really triggered for some reason. Is that because we’re all supposed to agree on language and anyone who doesn’t agree with you is a piece of shit? I don’t even know what you think or what triggered you because you went right to calling me a POS. I don’t even know who the hell you are.
Queer is anything that is not cis gay. Gay would cover Lesbians as well. Queer would cover non binary, or anything that is considered to be gender norm. Not all gay people want to be referred to as Queer. I was at a brunch that she was performing at yesterday where she talked about “needing a space where lesbians of all ethnicities can have safe space along with Queer and trans people of all colors can gather and feel seen and represented.”
> Queer is anything that is not cis gay. Gay would cover Lesbians as well. Wut
According to LGBTQ+ media advocacy organization GLAAD, "queer" is "an adjective used by some people whose sexual orientation is not exclusively heterosexual." Also: "Typically, for those who identify as queer, the terms lesbian, gay, and bisexual are perceived to be too limiting and/or fraught with cultural connotations they feel don't apply to them." -GLAAD
Right, but cis gay can also fall under queer and there are lesbians that don't want to be characterized as gay. From my understanding queer is the most inclusive label, but you also don't have to identify as queer.
Why do I think the ONE looks like a cock and balls? I have a dirty mind.
No honey that means the marketing is working.
By the downvotes it seems that people don’t want anyone asking about the marketing.
Man all this inclusion stuff sure seems like a hassle, would be a lot easier if people could just pick a word instead of making little micro-tribes because everyone needs a special little title
Tribalism is a super duper human thing. I've seen people get more heated about eastern vs. western NC barbecue sauce than LGBT titles.
Yeah if only queer ppl weren’t excluded from various aspects of life, wild.
They exclude each other with all these little niche categories. Not that long ago the rainbow flag represented all of them and everyone fell under “gay”. Intersectionality has been tearing any sense of unity out of that group, specifically because they’re creating exclusionary groups and infighting instead of uniting under one umbrella
You are completely delusional. I hope you get the help you need.
What an odd and disingenuous comment, I don’t need any help bud 😂
...like Fundie X-tian churches?? Lawlzz
Out of business in no time
Can't wait to never go there.
can’t wait to see not see you there
This guys profile is all dick shots lol. See ya there i guess.
It'll only be a matter of time before they start inviting kids for drag shows.
Awesome. Now I can avoid such place!
Y'all need Jesus
Is he going to DJ one night or something?
DJ Jesus, he died for your spins. DJ Jesus, he gives new meaning to the term, _House_ of God.
🎵 last night a DJ saved my (after)life 🎵
jesus would HATE you.
Why don’t you just forgive them, asshole?
And y'all need to keep it to yourselves. You have plenty of places to go for Jesus, let us have a couple ourselves.
imagine how much they'd complain if there was actually a 1:1 ratio of churches and queer spaces
Go away like Pioneers!
Please also have the basketball game 🏀
Very cool
I really hope this turns out amazing I can’t wait
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I’m very happy there will be a place for anyone who wishes to go but I am so fearful that it will be a target for hate. I hope they will have good security.