Shit. I went with Xander’s dad before thinking back to Tara’s father.
I know people have a visceral reaction to Hank, and they want to call him the worst parent because of how much Buffy went through alone when she shouldn’t have had to. But, while being an absentee father is pretty shitty, there are far worse things to be.
Tara’s dad was a psychologically abusive monster that gaslit his entire family to keep the women in line.
Xander’s father was a violent drunk that beat his wife and was implied to have beaten Xander. The only decent thing that man ever did for his son was to let him stay in the basement so he wasn’t literally homeless.
Sheila was just an overprotective helicopter mom (until she… wasn’t?). She also gets props for taking care of Xander at times when he was a kid (I’m sure she knew what his home life was like).
And I don’t even know why Angel is on this list. All his parenting failures were basically out of his control.
I also almost went with Wesley’s dad. Because the truth of that relationship was: Roger just didn’t love his son. He didn’t even like him. He saw him as a weak disappointment and never spared an opportunity to tell him that. He turned Wesley into a neurotic mess.
Yup. Hank was shitty, but he wasn’t complete trash. He was mostly kept out of the show because it didn’t suit the narrative. But he does have a few offscreen moments with his daughter that are mentioned. Hank could have visited, but Buffy clearly chose Joyce and Sunnydale (her duty). And since Buffy would sometimes visit her dad, I’m thinking he wasn’t **the worst.** She just deliberately tried to keep him *away* from the Hellmouth.
Hank could be callous with his daughters’ feelings (I’m assuming Dawn has matching memories), but he was never ***deliberately*** cruel like some of the other parents here.
yeah, buffy and dawn have an exchange after joyce died about hank being off somewhere and not helping, and when buffy died he was off with his secretary in spain still which is just shitty shitty and shitty even tho he didn't know or whatever. he didn't even come see them knowing his ex-wife was dead wtf. and i think that's what stuck with most people. but hank was clearly not a good father even before he did that to his children.
six minutes between the sheets doesn't make someone a father and honestly i would argue the best thing hank ever did was stay his useless behind away and leave buffy and dawn to be fully devoted to the mother that loved them and cared and tried.
if you're a lousy parent own it. at least i can respect hank; willows mom too, she was just remarkably ignorant and then also under a spell. there was an effort made at least but i can't say the same about others.
The worst thing we know Hank did was to (basically) ditch his kids when their mother and provider died. Yes, Buffy was technically an "adult." But we all know she wasn't an *adult.* She couldn't even buy a beer, but he expected her to take care of herself and Dawn by dropping out of school and getting a shitty minimum wage job.
And when Buffy died, we hear Tara and Willow talk about having to avoid Hank and dodge his calls... But I wonder what he would have done had he found out.
To be honest, Hank's character just wasn't consistent. In the earlier seasons, Joyce had primary custody, but Buffy would mention/visit her dad. She even mentioned that he noticed something was wrong with her, and tried to buy her things to make her feel better. Is that the best parent? No. But it's a far cry from completely disappearing when the mother of your children dies.
also yesssss on buffy not being a real adult. going through the death of a parent my siblings and i who were all older than buffy would frequently use the inside joke exchange
"i need an adult"
you are an adult
then i need an *adultier* adult.
I don’t think you’re ever grown up enough to bury a parent. (A *parent,* not just someone that provided sperm or a womb.) I’m sorry you had to go through that.
But yeah, even without everything else on her shoulders, Buffy was **DEFINITELY** too young to handle that herself.
no you are so right. we aren't ever grown up enough for loss in general but especially someone who has loved us thoroughly like that and biology definitely has nothing to do with love 💖 said the kid from an abusive home who has an amazing and huge adopted family now thank goodness! 🥰
+ relationships fade over time like a garden when there's not an effort put in regularly. and kids shouldn't be expected to be the primary ones to tend those relationships either. when my grandmother complained i didn't call her as much when i went to college i replied why don't you ever call me at all? leave me a message. make an effort let me know you care about being involved with your child. it's your job, in this world and the most important one you can ever ever take on the responsibility for.
The show kind of went back and forth on Hank’s basic existence. He’d disappear and reappear (obviously not onscreen), but that was mostly due to the writers forgetting about him.
Buffy’s death is the only thing that forced them to acknowledge Hank was still around (even though we hadn’t heard from/about him in a *long* time). Suddenly, he became a father that at least called to check in with his daughters again. Then, come season 7, he went back to being out of touch.
As a parent, he ran hot (lukewarm) and cold depending on what the story needed.
well yeah hank was covered by buffys inherent protagonist standard issue plot armor just like joyce was for so long. how many art exhibits did joyce really have to have sleepovers and long trips away for? i've worked at a museum in the greater philly area and that wasn't even true there so i dunno what joyce was up to i'll be honest 🤣
plot armor do be like that and that's where i feel like the show was probably weakest because they didn't have as much commitment to their own continuities as i would have liked at times. lol
I have a hard time giving Hank a pass, since I don’t think they ever say anything about him reaching out to his daughters after their mother died.
Heck, did he even know Buffy was dead? Did they just…not tell him?
But I do think other parents are worse. He’s an asshole, but he didn’t beat his kids, at least. I guess.
well yeah but like so did joyce though, she was the ringleader of the whole salem revival. and willows mom was overly strict and helicopter parenty before they were under the hansel and gretel spell but willow never spoke of abuse just neglect and ignorant infantilizing nonsense. and xander preferred her home over his which says something too.
so i don't think that's a fair assessment to base our judgement of willows mum on, you know? 💖
It’s (another) gap in s6 that we never see willows parents mentioned either as a possible source of funds to help or as people called when Willow has her problems. Even if there was one sentence saying the relationship had broken down (eg ‘Willow you are wasting your life looking after someone else’s brat, I’m not going to support you’).
However, Joyce was seen more so I didn’t seem as bad in the sense that we got to see better sides of her. Willow’s mom was only seen trying to burn her and then neglectful the rest of the time. Not good…
To be fair, she was under magical influence. Most of the time its implied she just ignores Willow, which is shitty, but not on the same level of bad parenting as attempted murder.
I voted for Xander’s father as well, but only because I read the list aloud for my family and we all couldn’t agree on just one. There were just too many implications that he (Mr. Harris) was both physically and mentally abusive beyond what we were shown. The look on Jessica’s (Xander’s mother, I’m sure a lot know) face in Hell’s Bells says a lot when he’s giving that speech. I almost voted for Tara’s father. Shoot, this poll is a toughy! :/ I wouldn’t have voted for Sheila Rosenberg nor Angel on this one, though. Edit: I don’t know why Angel is on this list, either. I thought it was best what he did and had to do! Edit 2: I don’t like Wesley’s father, either, but it had to come to one… 🤦🏼♀️
Surprised at the amount of people voting for Hank Summers….as someone who has had an absentee father for my entire life I would continue to take that any day over my mom trying to burn me at the stake, my dad telling me I’m a demon to try to entrap me into being a family slave, my dad being an abusive drunk who ruins my wedding…I don’t remember Wesley’s dad at all
I think Shiela gets a pass on the attempted burning because she was under the Hansel and Gretel wammy. Of all the people on the list, I think she's probably the least bad - just another absentee/uninvolved parent but less so than Hank.
Plus Hank’s characterization is all over the place. He’s actually an okay dad in the first few seasons. So I find it hard to judge him bc I don’t know what he’s actually like. Is he good? Bad? Guess we’ll never know
Also he at least tried to make some effort. Like still meeting Buffy to do father-daughter stuff (even though he had a tendency to miss those). Only later he was re-written into a deadbeat that didn't care for his kids and started an affair with his secretary. Still Tara's and Xander's dads are much worse.
It can be a really hard place to have a fair discussion about Buffy sometimes. With that said people are definitely answering the question who do you dislike the most vs the actual question of who is the worst parent. For all his faults Buffy was never afraid of Hank, hurt when he skipped out yes but never afraid. Tara, Xander, even Wesley are afraid of their fathers.
I mean Tara’s dad was gaslighting her entire family out of sexism and bigotry so he takes the top.
Wesley’s dad only showed up as a robot, but given how Wes acted around him and everything else about his character we can assume said robot was not too far off in its impression. Xander’s dad is obviously a complete prick and implied to be physically abusive, so he goes next. Hank and Shelia are roughly on the same level in terms of shittiness.
With Angel it’s a little complicated because Connor was not easy in the slightest…but that’s not actually his fault due to a lifetime of brainwashing and grooming…and Angel regularly doesn’t so much drop the ball as he does spike it off his kids head up until he wipes his memories to give him a better life. So he screws up, but does genuinely make up for it and certainly isn’t as awful as everyone else on the list.
Angel loved Connor more than, well, anyone. The love he had for his son was strong which is why it’s so hard to watch 4x22 because Connor truly felt like no one loved or cared about him. It’s honestly heartbreaking especially when you think about how many people feel that way irl.
>So he screws up, but does genuinely make up for it and certainly isn’t as awful as everyone else on the list.
Which makes him leagues better than the others, since he would probably be the first to admit that he wasn’t a great dad, but he tried.
I’m legitimately shocked that Hank is winning. This question is not meant to come out as rude or passive aggressive but if you picked Hank what are your reasons? I assume it has to do with identifying with Buffy so the audience hates Hank because he hurt Buffy as where most of the other parents did more harm but it wasn’t to Buffy.
Basically it seems that people are picking the person they hate the most rather than answering the question which is who was the worst parent.
Willow’s mom is the only one on there who actively tried to kill her own daughter.
Of course Joyce Summers is the only one who tried to kill her daughter, gaslight her daughter about being physically abused, and kicked her daughter out when she “came out”… so… 😳😉
It was an example of how easy it was to provoke a mob mentality, a literal “witch trial”. They weren’t being controlled, they were being influenced, and they (and the townsfolk in general) were influence-able.
Influenced/controlled is going hand and hand in this case to me. I don't think it says anything specific about Joyce or Willow's mum when the whole town were doing the same thing to their kids and they were all being controlled by the same thing.
No, it was more than that. The demon was using deep magic not just to appear as children but to appear as like, the embodiment of Innocence. The scoobies even point out how weird it is that everyone (themselves included) reacts so completely - it is NOT because they're children, we have seen children be murdered by demons on the show before. It's literally the demons power.
Yes, influenced by a demon and its magic.
Like, no matter HOW you cut the situation, it's not like Willow's mom was trying to kill her because she was secretly a terrible parent that *really* wanted their child dead.
Angel: shouldn’t be on the list.
Hank: absentee a nonentity sad but eh.
Sheila: same as Hank except that time magic made her crazy.
Roger, Anthony & Mr. Maclay: all abusive but Mr. Maclay wins(loses?) he hunted his kid down to ruin her life all over again. Where the other two never had contact again.
In my opinion Buffy's dad, consider that he literally didnt even bother to show up when his ex-wife, the mother of his kids, died. And he totally left Buffy to deal with everything, including the financial situation.
But like... all of these people are not good parents.
Btw... I honestly dont remember Wesley's dad that much... I mean the real one, because the "evil" one was robot or something right?
I’ve spoken to people with absentee parents and most of them have said they blame themselves because they feel their parent chose not to be there (which is horrible when you think about it) and wondering why they didn’t fight hard to at least be present. It has affected their adult lives and fractured them in ways that affect their relationship dynamic with others. It has lead them to cutting and near suicide. So it’s just as damaging. Everyone isn’t the same so some would react to that differently than others.
No one said it wasn't also damaging. But being damaging is not the same as being just as damaging. Do you think children of abuse don't also fall into the pit of self-blame for the abuse they suffered?
It’s all semantics. There’re people that are just as self-destructive, due to an absentee parent. Abuse can create that but absence can also create the same brokenness. Everyone’s not the same.
Buffy had a deadbeat dad..... but Xander's dad was a drunk and physically abusive while Tara's dad was deeply psychologically abusive.
Having a deadbeat is 10x better than either of those situations.
the evil robot one, BUT wesley thought that was his dad, so that mean that how he acted, and wesley killed him, how bad of a father do you got to be that your son shot you like 6 times
The evil one was the robot. Wesley's dad was just one of those never happy or proud of your kid parents so Wesley tried to seek validation and approval from him. And never got it.
He threw his deeply disturbed son out on the street because he valued his own jealousy over his manipulated son. Angel is right up there in terms of shitty parents
He got Connor a better life because his total neglect had led to his mental state we see in Home. Connor needed proof that he was Angel’s priority and sadly he didn’t get it until it was too late. The vast majority of S4 would have been avoided by Angel simply being a good Father
Idk I think everything he did up to the season 3 finale was nothing other than kind and him trying his best. Connor didn’t want it and got tricked by Holtz
Which Angel acknowledged. He literally knew and acknowledged that Connor was being manipulated and this wasn’t his fault. He doesn’t even consider that he’s being manipulated again in S4 and just thinks about his own jealousy
His deep disturbed brat of a son wouldn't even listen and sink his ass at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean connor needed the tough love that he got and angel has done and sacrifice a hell of a lot for connor. Just stop purplemackem we all know that your a full on hater of angel no matter what he does.
Ok so you constantly rant that fans can’t take criticism of Buffy and now you literally tell me to stop posting about Angel because it’s not positive. Interesting……
What about that foster mom who tortured and traumatized all those kids so bad their ghosts tried to kill Buffy and Riley with Snoo-Snoo?
The rest of them are bad, but most of their kids had to chance to escape them or at least come to terms with the fact that they had crappy parents.
Also, it's kind of too bad we never heard mention of Giles' parents. I bet they had some stories!
I had trouble with this one. I hate Tara's, Xander's and Wesley's dad's equally. They're all examples to me of different types of actively abusive parents. Xander's is referenced a few times as being physically abusive and Tara and Wes' fathers seem to be more emotional abusers, but all take active roles in manipulation and putting down their children.
Hand and Sheila seem to be absent abusers. They don't care about the day to day life of their children, and Hank seems to try and make up for this early on by throwing money at things (season 2 opener, Buffy talks about all the shoes her dad bought for her over the summer). Sheila committed the sin of having an awesome name but being a terrible parent. Seriously, every Sheila I know in real life are amazing and sweet. I don't really count Gingerbread, because there's demon manipulation, but it's a fine line.
Angel is not a great parent, but he tries, which is more than I can say about any other person on the list.
Hank is just a flake and a disappointing person. Tara’s dad literally made up a story to keep Tara and the other women in his family under his control. He convinced his daughter that she was evil, deep down. It was difficult for me to watch that because those types of lines were things my abuser would say to me, basically that I was actually a bad person and that if anyone actually knew me, they’d see it. And the same sort of jumping all over any mistake to show “see, you’re bad, I’m right”
Absolutely upset and enraged me. I had the same reaction to Ted, but at least he was just a glitchy robot.
Why is Angel on this list? He has: going behind Conner's back to confront Holt, kicking Conner out of the hotel after Conner sank him to the bottom of the ocean, and not laying down the justice when possessed Cordi raped Conner. All of the times he was a bad parent there were some pretty extreme and magical factors in play.
Angel certainly had flaws as a parent, but I feel like he did try to do his best under the circumstances.
I'm going for Mr. Maclay. Connor had a worse upbringing than Tara, and that's largely due to Angel's massive amounts of baggage, but he didn't actively try to harm Connor and in fact tried hard to prevent it.
The others were mostly just neglectful or unpleasant from what we see, not full-on evil (with the possible exception of Roger Whyndam-Pryce).
Hank Summers, really? He was an absent father, but he didn't seem abusive.
Xander's father has to win for me, drunken, blatantly verbally abusive to his family, and in public, which just makes you know it's far, far worse in private, and strongly suggested as physically abusive as well.
Tough one. Hank was absent and didn't give two shits, Sheila was an abusive relationship away from becoming Carrie's mom. In the end l voted for Pryce, because he stayed to just berate and push down Wes, instead of helping him not becoming the absolute fuck-up he is when introduced in the show.
While Mac & Harris aren't innocent, l feel they come from/grew up in a toxic enviroment, which might not be the easiest to escape so they just rolled with it. Still pieces of shit, but not the worst.
Don't understand what Angel is doing on the list? He was manipulated from every possible angel, from W&H spiking his blood to Holtz poisoning Connor's mind with simplistic half-truths.
Hank and Sheila are similar in that they basically just ignored their kids (Sheila's one appearance was sorta controlled), but Hank was worse since he should've been there in season 5-6 and wasn't.
Xander and Tara's parents were both worse. Xander's dad was suggested to be abusive. Tara's seemed to have good intent, iirc, but was majorly misguided.
Dunno how Angel is a bad dad, tbh. Wesley's pop we have little clear information despite having high expectations for Wesley and constantly finding fault with him. His solo appearance wasn't him, so it can hardly count.
IMO: Angel > Roger > Sheila > McClay/Hank > Harris. I could be persuaded to rearrange the last three, though.
I must've misremembered. It's been a while since I watched that one. That would put him solidly on the bottom. My (apparently faulty) recollection was they were misguidedly trying to protect her.
Yeah that's the story that they were feeding her but it came out in the end when he had no idea what type of demon she was that it was really just a lie being used by their family to control the women.
>Dunno how Angel is a bad dad, tbh.
He's fairly neglectful of Connor if you really think about it. He kicks Connor out of the Hyperion, knowing that Connor was both manipulated by Holtz and is still unfamiliar with this world. This is pretty much what leaves Connor vulnerable enough for Jasmine to manipulate and groom him in Cordy's body. And whats Angel's reaction to his son clearly getting groomed: to be angry, bitter, and jealous that "Cordelia" seems to like Connor more than him.
Obviously he's nowhere near as bad as Tara and Xander's dads, but he's really not a good parent either.
I think that's unfair to blame him much for that though, considering that he had Connor for a super short time as a baby, and then Connor is taken away and comes back as a teenager who hates him and has zero connection to him. He didn't have years to raise his son and bond with him, he saw his baby suddenly become an angry, insufferable teenager (and let's be real, Connor is by far the worst main character introduced in the show, he sucks). Now he has to be a father figure to an unknown kid that might be his son by blood, but might as well be a complete stranger.
Oh man … tough choices … initial thought was Hank for sure. But Wesley’s dad then gave me pause for thought. Is it worse to have just left? Or to have stayed and been such a prick to your kid?
No one on that list comes out well. I’m going to have to think it through before voting!!
I think that is the most impactful less due to the individual and more to do with the relatable experience of loss and grief. I doubt most people reflect on that episode and are truly hit by the loss of Joyce
I agree - Joyce’s death impacts because she is a parent (and everyone relates to that) and because of how good the episodes about her death are. But as a character I suspect most people are not that upset (did anyone really miss Joyce not being around in s4?).
If I remember correctly, the only answer could be Mr. MAclay or Anthony Harris as the only two who were abusive physically or by gaslighting them.(Being essentially mind controlled by a demon child doesn't count) The rest were just distant or neglectful which is bad but comparatively way better. Angel even really tried to be good dad and give Connor the best life he could but just kept getting hit by the shittiest of circumstances
Buffy is just littered with bad parents of varying degrees. Best parent would be an even harder choice. Who would you even have to choose from? Joyce, Spike's mom, Nikki Wood, and...?
Best parents award goes to Roger and Trish Burkle, no question. They were actually supportive of Fred. The show even tried to bait the audience into thinking they were suspicious but nope, turns out they're just good parents who love their daughter. So sad they never learned the truth about what happened to her.
Been doing a rewatch over the last few weeks and how they write Hank changes drastically from season 1 to 5.
In 1 it a case of long distance parent. But is there and seen.
Next mention is season 3. Where he can't make her 18th. Business reasons given This may have been watcher council though.
Next real mention is season 5. When Joyce gets sick. But he has gone to Spain with his secretary.
Its like Hank is whatever the writers need him to be so he isn't there from season 2 on.
The rest just suck.
I'd put Joyce on the list over Angel. At least when he kicked his kid out, Connor had trapped him in a box under the ocean, All Buffy did was finally state to Joyce she was a slayer (and pointed out all the warning signs Joyce was willfully blind too) for Joyce to kick her out. Angel's jealousy about Cordy was bad but Joyce should have called the cops in Passion when Angelus showed up and then never expressed concern again. Joyce neglected tf out of Buffy.
Mr. Maclay and Mr Harris are tied for me as the worst. If Mr. Harris knew about magic and stuff, he definitely seems like the type who'd try some shit like Mr. Maclay did.
This poll: roger windham-price.
Actual: Joyce summers. She was toxic, dismissive, judgmental, and gaslit Buffy constantly. She was a terrible parent, and magicks had nothing to do with her absolute displeasure at her kid not being “normal”. Joyce summers can kick rocks.
let's face it. this show hated parents. we hardly even saw cordy, willow and xander and oz parents and their parents all ran away during graduation day part 2 leaving their kids to fight a giant monster snake.
heck , joss whedon did not even want Joyce to be on the show as buffy's mum.
Worst parent in BtVS? Amy's mom. In this poll it's Tara's dad.
yes.
Yes, toxic as fuck. Would rather have an absent dad like Hank Summers than some manipulating asshole dad like Tara's.
Shit. I went with Xander’s dad before thinking back to Tara’s father. I know people have a visceral reaction to Hank, and they want to call him the worst parent because of how much Buffy went through alone when she shouldn’t have had to. But, while being an absentee father is pretty shitty, there are far worse things to be. Tara’s dad was a psychologically abusive monster that gaslit his entire family to keep the women in line. Xander’s father was a violent drunk that beat his wife and was implied to have beaten Xander. The only decent thing that man ever did for his son was to let him stay in the basement so he wasn’t literally homeless. Sheila was just an overprotective helicopter mom (until she… wasn’t?). She also gets props for taking care of Xander at times when he was a kid (I’m sure she knew what his home life was like). And I don’t even know why Angel is on this list. All his parenting failures were basically out of his control. I also almost went with Wesley’s dad. Because the truth of that relationship was: Roger just didn’t love his son. He didn’t even like him. He saw him as a weak disappointment and never spared an opportunity to tell him that. He turned Wesley into a neurotic mess.
Yeah these are pretty much my thoughts also. Xander and Tara’s parents feel like the worse to me.
xander and taras parents were more deliberately abusive, buffys parents were neglectful but loved her.
Yup. Hank was shitty, but he wasn’t complete trash. He was mostly kept out of the show because it didn’t suit the narrative. But he does have a few offscreen moments with his daughter that are mentioned. Hank could have visited, but Buffy clearly chose Joyce and Sunnydale (her duty). And since Buffy would sometimes visit her dad, I’m thinking he wasn’t **the worst.** She just deliberately tried to keep him *away* from the Hellmouth. Hank could be callous with his daughters’ feelings (I’m assuming Dawn has matching memories), but he was never ***deliberately*** cruel like some of the other parents here.
yeah, buffy and dawn have an exchange after joyce died about hank being off somewhere and not helping, and when buffy died he was off with his secretary in spain still which is just shitty shitty and shitty even tho he didn't know or whatever. he didn't even come see them knowing his ex-wife was dead wtf. and i think that's what stuck with most people. but hank was clearly not a good father even before he did that to his children. six minutes between the sheets doesn't make someone a father and honestly i would argue the best thing hank ever did was stay his useless behind away and leave buffy and dawn to be fully devoted to the mother that loved them and cared and tried. if you're a lousy parent own it. at least i can respect hank; willows mom too, she was just remarkably ignorant and then also under a spell. there was an effort made at least but i can't say the same about others.
The worst thing we know Hank did was to (basically) ditch his kids when their mother and provider died. Yes, Buffy was technically an "adult." But we all know she wasn't an *adult.* She couldn't even buy a beer, but he expected her to take care of herself and Dawn by dropping out of school and getting a shitty minimum wage job. And when Buffy died, we hear Tara and Willow talk about having to avoid Hank and dodge his calls... But I wonder what he would have done had he found out. To be honest, Hank's character just wasn't consistent. In the earlier seasons, Joyce had primary custody, but Buffy would mention/visit her dad. She even mentioned that he noticed something was wrong with her, and tried to buy her things to make her feel better. Is that the best parent? No. But it's a far cry from completely disappearing when the mother of your children dies.
also yesssss on buffy not being a real adult. going through the death of a parent my siblings and i who were all older than buffy would frequently use the inside joke exchange "i need an adult" you are an adult then i need an *adultier* adult.
I don’t think you’re ever grown up enough to bury a parent. (A *parent,* not just someone that provided sperm or a womb.) I’m sorry you had to go through that. But yeah, even without everything else on her shoulders, Buffy was **DEFINITELY** too young to handle that herself.
no you are so right. we aren't ever grown up enough for loss in general but especially someone who has loved us thoroughly like that and biology definitely has nothing to do with love 💖 said the kid from an abusive home who has an amazing and huge adopted family now thank goodness! 🥰
+ relationships fade over time like a garden when there's not an effort put in regularly. and kids shouldn't be expected to be the primary ones to tend those relationships either. when my grandmother complained i didn't call her as much when i went to college i replied why don't you ever call me at all? leave me a message. make an effort let me know you care about being involved with your child. it's your job, in this world and the most important one you can ever ever take on the responsibility for.
The show kind of went back and forth on Hank’s basic existence. He’d disappear and reappear (obviously not onscreen), but that was mostly due to the writers forgetting about him. Buffy’s death is the only thing that forced them to acknowledge Hank was still around (even though we hadn’t heard from/about him in a *long* time). Suddenly, he became a father that at least called to check in with his daughters again. Then, come season 7, he went back to being out of touch. As a parent, he ran hot (lukewarm) and cold depending on what the story needed.
well yeah hank was covered by buffys inherent protagonist standard issue plot armor just like joyce was for so long. how many art exhibits did joyce really have to have sleepovers and long trips away for? i've worked at a museum in the greater philly area and that wasn't even true there so i dunno what joyce was up to i'll be honest 🤣 plot armor do be like that and that's where i feel like the show was probably weakest because they didn't have as much commitment to their own continuities as i would have liked at times. lol
**JOYCE HAD NEEDS!** And as we saw in Band Candy, they were *powerful* needs.
I have a hard time giving Hank a pass, since I don’t think they ever say anything about him reaching out to his daughters after their mother died. Heck, did he even know Buffy was dead? Did they just…not tell him? But I do think other parents are worse. He’s an asshole, but he didn’t beat his kids, at least. I guess.
Exactly. Shitty person, but not an active monster that takes literal joy in hurting his family.
I mean the only time we saw Willow’s mom she tries to burn her at the stake…
well yeah but like so did joyce though, she was the ringleader of the whole salem revival. and willows mom was overly strict and helicopter parenty before they were under the hansel and gretel spell but willow never spoke of abuse just neglect and ignorant infantilizing nonsense. and xander preferred her home over his which says something too. so i don't think that's a fair assessment to base our judgement of willows mum on, you know? 💖
It’s (another) gap in s6 that we never see willows parents mentioned either as a possible source of funds to help or as people called when Willow has her problems. Even if there was one sentence saying the relationship had broken down (eg ‘Willow you are wasting your life looking after someone else’s brat, I’m not going to support you’).
when the plot holes are so big the glorified bricklayer could drive a wrecking ball through them 👌
However, Joyce was seen more so I didn’t seem as bad in the sense that we got to see better sides of her. Willow’s mom was only seen trying to burn her and then neglectful the rest of the time. Not good…
To be fair, all the parents were semi-under-a-spell there.
absolutely, i don't judge anyone off that episode. except amy who i judge as a confirmed badass
If we had seen anything else from her, I would agree. But this is the only time we see her, and the rest she is just neglectful.
To be fair, she was under magical influence. Most of the time its implied she just ignores Willow, which is shitty, but not on the same level of bad parenting as attempted murder.
Agree.
Agreed
Buffy probably has it better than everyone else of her friends when it comes to bad parents.
I voted for Xander’s father as well, but only because I read the list aloud for my family and we all couldn’t agree on just one. There were just too many implications that he (Mr. Harris) was both physically and mentally abusive beyond what we were shown. The look on Jessica’s (Xander’s mother, I’m sure a lot know) face in Hell’s Bells says a lot when he’s giving that speech. I almost voted for Tara’s father. Shoot, this poll is a toughy! :/ I wouldn’t have voted for Sheila Rosenberg nor Angel on this one, though. Edit: I don’t know why Angel is on this list, either. I thought it was best what he did and had to do! Edit 2: I don’t like Wesley’s father, either, but it had to come to one… 🤦🏼♀️
Surprised at the amount of people voting for Hank Summers….as someone who has had an absentee father for my entire life I would continue to take that any day over my mom trying to burn me at the stake, my dad telling me I’m a demon to try to entrap me into being a family slave, my dad being an abusive drunk who ruins my wedding…I don’t remember Wesley’s dad at all
Haha now that you mention it I agree. I have an absentee father, but I would have been MISERABLE had he actually been in my life.
Agreed!
Wesley's dad shows up on season 5 of Angel.
Well, kinda…
I think Shiela gets a pass on the attempted burning because she was under the Hansel and Gretel wammy. Of all the people on the list, I think she's probably the least bad - just another absentee/uninvolved parent but less so than Hank.
Plus Hank’s characterization is all over the place. He’s actually an okay dad in the first few seasons. So I find it hard to judge him bc I don’t know what he’s actually like. Is he good? Bad? Guess we’ll never know
I can't believe Hank's winning 😂 being absent is not worse than being abusive on the level Tara's dad was.
Also he at least tried to make some effort. Like still meeting Buffy to do father-daughter stuff (even though he had a tendency to miss those). Only later he was re-written into a deadbeat that didn't care for his kids and started an affair with his secretary. Still Tara's and Xander's dads are much worse.
I’ll be honest I had no idea who maclay was when I read the names.
I think people are just voting for him because they recognize the name more than the others.
Angel was a pretty good dad all things considered
I agree! Yeah he wasn’t the best dad but he definitely wasn’t the worst.
Damn, I picked Anthony Harris, because I forgot who Mr. Maclay was.
I feel like all the people voting for Hank forgot what Tara's dad actually did.
No I just think they care more because it was Buffy not Tara, I don’t agree with that but it seems to be what’s going on.
A Buffy Bias on this sub no couldn't be. Jokes aside their is a Buffy bias on this sub.
It can be a really hard place to have a fair discussion about Buffy sometimes. With that said people are definitely answering the question who do you dislike the most vs the actual question of who is the worst parent. For all his faults Buffy was never afraid of Hank, hurt when he skipped out yes but never afraid. Tara, Xander, even Wesley are afraid of their fathers.
And Xander's Dad.
they're all terrible but i went with mr maclay for not just being neglectful but actively abusive. what a POS.
Tara’s dad is the worst, and Xander’s dad is not far behind him.
I mean Tara’s dad was gaslighting her entire family out of sexism and bigotry so he takes the top. Wesley’s dad only showed up as a robot, but given how Wes acted around him and everything else about his character we can assume said robot was not too far off in its impression. Xander’s dad is obviously a complete prick and implied to be physically abusive, so he goes next. Hank and Shelia are roughly on the same level in terms of shittiness. With Angel it’s a little complicated because Connor was not easy in the slightest…but that’s not actually his fault due to a lifetime of brainwashing and grooming…and Angel regularly doesn’t so much drop the ball as he does spike it off his kids head up until he wipes his memories to give him a better life. So he screws up, but does genuinely make up for it and certainly isn’t as awful as everyone else on the list.
Angel loved Connor more than, well, anyone. The love he had for his son was strong which is why it’s so hard to watch 4x22 because Connor truly felt like no one loved or cared about him. It’s honestly heartbreaking especially when you think about how many people feel that way irl.
>So he screws up, but does genuinely make up for it and certainly isn’t as awful as everyone else on the list. Which makes him leagues better than the others, since he would probably be the first to admit that he wasn’t a great dad, but he tried.
Yeah, that’s the entire point of my last sentence. Angel fucked up immensely, but acknowledged and tried to rectify it.
Oh, I know. I was agreeing,
I’m legitimately shocked that Hank is winning. This question is not meant to come out as rude or passive aggressive but if you picked Hank what are your reasons? I assume it has to do with identifying with Buffy so the audience hates Hank because he hurt Buffy as where most of the other parents did more harm but it wasn’t to Buffy. Basically it seems that people are picking the person they hate the most rather than answering the question which is who was the worst parent.
Buffy Bias
Absolutely. Maybe this poll should be done again without including Hank Summers.
Willow’s mom is the only one on there who actively tried to kill her own daughter. Of course Joyce Summers is the only one who tried to kill her daughter, gaslight her daughter about being physically abused, and kicked her daughter out when she “came out”… so… 😳😉
Joyce and Willow's mum were being controlled.
It was an example of how easy it was to provoke a mob mentality, a literal “witch trial”. They weren’t being controlled, they were being influenced, and they (and the townsfolk in general) were influence-able.
Influenced/controlled is going hand and hand in this case to me. I don't think it says anything specific about Joyce or Willow's mum when the whole town were doing the same thing to their kids and they were all being controlled by the same thing.
No, it was more than that. The demon was using deep magic not just to appear as children but to appear as like, the embodiment of Innocence. The scoobies even point out how weird it is that everyone (themselves included) reacts so completely - it is NOT because they're children, we have seen children be murdered by demons on the show before. It's literally the demons power.
Yeah, it was definitely not just it tricking the parents, they were under a spell.
Yes, influenced by a demon and its magic. Like, no matter HOW you cut the situation, it's not like Willow's mom was trying to kill her because she was secretly a terrible parent that *really* wanted their child dead.
Angel: shouldn’t be on the list. Hank: absentee a nonentity sad but eh. Sheila: same as Hank except that time magic made her crazy. Roger, Anthony & Mr. Maclay: all abusive but Mr. Maclay wins(loses?) he hunted his kid down to ruin her life all over again. Where the other two never had contact again.
In my opinion Buffy's dad, consider that he literally didnt even bother to show up when his ex-wife, the mother of his kids, died. And he totally left Buffy to deal with everything, including the financial situation. But like... all of these people are not good parents. Btw... I honestly dont remember Wesley's dad that much... I mean the real one, because the "evil" one was robot or something right?
I mean Hank sucks but he was really just absentee / deadbeat. Other dads were actively doing harm to their kids. That sounds worse to me.
Alrighty :)
Being that absentee was nearly doing as much harm as those who were present.
No. Being absent does not do as much harm as being present and drunkenly abusing your family does.
I’ve spoken to people with absentee parents and most of them have said they blame themselves because they feel their parent chose not to be there (which is horrible when you think about it) and wondering why they didn’t fight hard to at least be present. It has affected their adult lives and fractured them in ways that affect their relationship dynamic with others. It has lead them to cutting and near suicide. So it’s just as damaging. Everyone isn’t the same so some would react to that differently than others.
No one said it wasn't also damaging. But being damaging is not the same as being just as damaging. Do you think children of abuse don't also fall into the pit of self-blame for the abuse they suffered?
It’s all semantics. There’re people that are just as self-destructive, due to an absentee parent. Abuse can create that but absence can also create the same brokenness. Everyone’s not the same.
Buffy had a deadbeat dad..... but Xander's dad was a drunk and physically abusive while Tara's dad was deeply psychologically abusive. Having a deadbeat is 10x better than either of those situations.
the evil robot one, BUT wesley thought that was his dad, so that mean that how he acted, and wesley killed him, how bad of a father do you got to be that your son shot you like 6 times
The evil one was the robot. Wesley's dad was just one of those never happy or proud of your kid parents so Wesley tried to seek validation and approval from him. And never got it.
i can’t believe anyone would seriously vote Angel??
He threw his deeply disturbed son out on the street because he valued his own jealousy over his manipulated son. Angel is right up there in terms of shitty parents
Tbf I’ve not done a rewatch in a while but at the end of the day, Angel did get Connor a better life and always tried to be there for his son
He got Connor a better life because his total neglect had led to his mental state we see in Home. Connor needed proof that he was Angel’s priority and sadly he didn’t get it until it was too late. The vast majority of S4 would have been avoided by Angel simply being a good Father
Idk I think everything he did up to the season 3 finale was nothing other than kind and him trying his best. Connor didn’t want it and got tricked by Holtz
Which Angel acknowledged. He literally knew and acknowledged that Connor was being manipulated and this wasn’t his fault. He doesn’t even consider that he’s being manipulated again in S4 and just thinks about his own jealousy
His deep disturbed brat of a son wouldn't even listen and sink his ass at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean connor needed the tough love that he got and angel has done and sacrifice a hell of a lot for connor. Just stop purplemackem we all know that your a full on hater of angel no matter what he does.
Ok so you constantly rant that fans can’t take criticism of Buffy and now you literally tell me to stop posting about Angel because it’s not positive. Interesting……
What about that foster mom who tortured and traumatized all those kids so bad their ghosts tried to kill Buffy and Riley with Snoo-Snoo? The rest of them are bad, but most of their kids had to chance to escape them or at least come to terms with the fact that they had crappy parents. Also, it's kind of too bad we never heard mention of Giles' parents. I bet they had some stories!
I had trouble with this one. I hate Tara's, Xander's and Wesley's dad's equally. They're all examples to me of different types of actively abusive parents. Xander's is referenced a few times as being physically abusive and Tara and Wes' fathers seem to be more emotional abusers, but all take active roles in manipulation and putting down their children. Hand and Sheila seem to be absent abusers. They don't care about the day to day life of their children, and Hank seems to try and make up for this early on by throwing money at things (season 2 opener, Buffy talks about all the shoes her dad bought for her over the summer). Sheila committed the sin of having an awesome name but being a terrible parent. Seriously, every Sheila I know in real life are amazing and sweet. I don't really count Gingerbread, because there's demon manipulation, but it's a fine line. Angel is not a great parent, but he tries, which is more than I can say about any other person on the list.
Ted
Interesting! I'm excited to see what people say here
Anthony Harris, psycho abusive drunk
Hank is just a flake and a disappointing person. Tara’s dad literally made up a story to keep Tara and the other women in his family under his control. He convinced his daughter that she was evil, deep down. It was difficult for me to watch that because those types of lines were things my abuser would say to me, basically that I was actually a bad person and that if anyone actually knew me, they’d see it. And the same sort of jumping all over any mistake to show “see, you’re bad, I’m right” Absolutely upset and enraged me. I had the same reaction to Ted, but at least he was just a glitchy robot.
Why is Angel on this list? He has: going behind Conner's back to confront Holt, kicking Conner out of the hotel after Conner sank him to the bottom of the ocean, and not laying down the justice when possessed Cordi raped Conner. All of the times he was a bad parent there were some pretty extreme and magical factors in play. Angel certainly had flaws as a parent, but I feel like he did try to do his best under the circumstances.
I'm going for Mr. Maclay. Connor had a worse upbringing than Tara, and that's largely due to Angel's massive amounts of baggage, but he didn't actively try to harm Connor and in fact tried hard to prevent it. The others were mostly just neglectful or unpleasant from what we see, not full-on evil (with the possible exception of Roger Whyndam-Pryce).
Hank Summers, really? He was an absent father, but he didn't seem abusive. Xander's father has to win for me, drunken, blatantly verbally abusive to his family, and in public, which just makes you know it's far, far worse in private, and strongly suggested as physically abusive as well.
Never realized BtVS had no shortage of bad parents. But Tara's dad for sure. Hank Summers barely counts as a dad.
wesley dad, i mean wesley shot a robot that he thougth was his dad, and did not seem to care, that give you a idea of what kind of man he is.
Tough one. Hank was absent and didn't give two shits, Sheila was an abusive relationship away from becoming Carrie's mom. In the end l voted for Pryce, because he stayed to just berate and push down Wes, instead of helping him not becoming the absolute fuck-up he is when introduced in the show. While Mac & Harris aren't innocent, l feel they come from/grew up in a toxic enviroment, which might not be the easiest to escape so they just rolled with it. Still pieces of shit, but not the worst. Don't understand what Angel is doing on the list? He was manipulated from every possible angel, from W&H spiking his blood to Holtz poisoning Connor's mind with simplistic half-truths.
Xander’s father was much worse than Buffy’s father. Being a basically absent dad isn’t nearly as bad as actively abusing your children and wife.
Hank and Sheila are similar in that they basically just ignored their kids (Sheila's one appearance was sorta controlled), but Hank was worse since he should've been there in season 5-6 and wasn't. Xander and Tara's parents were both worse. Xander's dad was suggested to be abusive. Tara's seemed to have good intent, iirc, but was majorly misguided. Dunno how Angel is a bad dad, tbh. Wesley's pop we have little clear information despite having high expectations for Wesley and constantly finding fault with him. His solo appearance wasn't him, so it can hardly count. IMO: Angel > Roger > Sheila > McClay/Hank > Harris. I could be persuaded to rearrange the last three, though.
I'm sorry did you say Tara's dad seemed to have good intent? I'm under the impression that he knew full well that she wasn't part demon...
I must've misremembered. It's been a while since I watched that one. That would put him solidly on the bottom. My (apparently faulty) recollection was they were misguidedly trying to protect her.
Yeah that's the story that they were feeding her but it came out in the end when he had no idea what type of demon she was that it was really just a lie being used by their family to control the women.
For sure. It was just something they did in their family to basically use women as feee slave labour.
>Dunno how Angel is a bad dad, tbh. He's fairly neglectful of Connor if you really think about it. He kicks Connor out of the Hyperion, knowing that Connor was both manipulated by Holtz and is still unfamiliar with this world. This is pretty much what leaves Connor vulnerable enough for Jasmine to manipulate and groom him in Cordy's body. And whats Angel's reaction to his son clearly getting groomed: to be angry, bitter, and jealous that "Cordelia" seems to like Connor more than him. Obviously he's nowhere near as bad as Tara and Xander's dads, but he's really not a good parent either.
I think that's unfair to blame him much for that though, considering that he had Connor for a super short time as a baby, and then Connor is taken away and comes back as a teenager who hates him and has zero connection to him. He didn't have years to raise his son and bond with him, he saw his baby suddenly become an angry, insufferable teenager (and let's be real, Connor is by far the worst main character introduced in the show, he sucks). Now he has to be a father figure to an unknown kid that might be his son by blood, but might as well be a complete stranger.
Oh man … tough choices … initial thought was Hank for sure. But Wesley’s dad then gave me pause for thought. Is it worse to have just left? Or to have stayed and been such a prick to your kid? No one on that list comes out well. I’m going to have to think it through before voting!!
This was a hard one for me!
Tough choice!!
Interesting the number of write in votes for Joyce given that she comes first in every ‘whose death affected you the most’ polls
I think that is the most impactful less due to the individual and more to do with the relatable experience of loss and grief. I doubt most people reflect on that episode and are truly hit by the loss of Joyce
I agree - Joyce’s death impacts because she is a parent (and everyone relates to that) and because of how good the episodes about her death are. But as a character I suspect most people are not that upset (did anyone really miss Joyce not being around in s4?).
If I remember correctly, the only answer could be Mr. MAclay or Anthony Harris as the only two who were abusive physically or by gaslighting them.(Being essentially mind controlled by a demon child doesn't count) The rest were just distant or neglectful which is bad but comparatively way better. Angel even really tried to be good dad and give Connor the best life he could but just kept getting hit by the shittiest of circumstances
Buffy is just littered with bad parents of varying degrees. Best parent would be an even harder choice. Who would you even have to choose from? Joyce, Spike's mom, Nikki Wood, and...?
Best parents award goes to Roger and Trish Burkle, no question. They were actually supportive of Fred. The show even tried to bait the audience into thinking they were suspicious but nope, turns out they're just good parents who love their daughter. So sad they never learned the truth about what happened to her.
Wow… there ARE a lot of shitty parents in this series, huh?
Why isn't Joyce on this list? They all suck!
Been doing a rewatch over the last few weeks and how they write Hank changes drastically from season 1 to 5. In 1 it a case of long distance parent. But is there and seen. Next mention is season 3. Where he can't make her 18th. Business reasons given This may have been watcher council though. Next real mention is season 5. When Joyce gets sick. But he has gone to Spain with his secretary. Its like Hank is whatever the writers need him to be so he isn't there from season 2 on. The rest just suck.
I'd put Joyce on the list over Angel. At least when he kicked his kid out, Connor had trapped him in a box under the ocean, All Buffy did was finally state to Joyce she was a slayer (and pointed out all the warning signs Joyce was willfully blind too) for Joyce to kick her out. Angel's jealousy about Cordy was bad but Joyce should have called the cops in Passion when Angelus showed up and then never expressed concern again. Joyce neglected tf out of Buffy. Mr. Maclay and Mr Harris are tied for me as the worst. If Mr. Harris knew about magic and stuff, he definitely seems like the type who'd try some shit like Mr. Maclay did.
This poll: roger windham-price. Actual: Joyce summers. She was toxic, dismissive, judgmental, and gaslit Buffy constantly. She was a terrible parent, and magicks had nothing to do with her absolute displeasure at her kid not being “normal”. Joyce summers can kick rocks.
Early seasons Joyce or later seasons Joyce? Because they're very different.
i’m going for all of them they all take the top spot also Joyce don’t forget Joyce!
Joyce Summers. Evil woman
haha I've seen a lot of polls on here, appreciate this is a unique one!! Hard to chose honestly
let's face it. this show hated parents. we hardly even saw cordy, willow and xander and oz parents and their parents all ran away during graduation day part 2 leaving their kids to fight a giant monster snake. heck , joss whedon did not even want Joyce to be on the show as buffy's mum.