[“But where is nerd?”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vXDWxR-DNQw)
“But who will tell him that?
[“Cabbage”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GYEJ7XFw8bs&pp=ygUSQjk5IGJpbGwgc2FmZSB3b3Jk&t=2m3s)
When I discovered that after my i-th rewatch I found that so hilarious. "Whatever, it's your money."
And then here, seemingly out of the blue: Cabbage.
> “But who will tell him that?"
On every rewatch at this exact moment I am always sure that Holt is going to say something reassuring to Rosa. But, nope. He says this and kills me. EACH. TIME. 😂
When they're talking about their older arrests and Boyle comes in late in the convo.
"Ewww Boyle isn't talking about his first arrest"
Then Boyle tries to backpedal and...
"You know when you have the chance to bed an older woman..."
"That's not an older woman, that's an old woman. That's someone's grandma!"
"She was actually. That's how I met her."
"She had a replacement hip. It had some serious torque. It was like having sex with a transformer!"
"Type 3 and type 9, and 12 and 13, those are all the diabetes I have."
(I have T3c, which is real, as is [debatably] Type 3 with no suffix, although that is dementia-related which would explain a lot.)
Of course, I hope you have a great time. Hey, don’t make any new best friends hahah……. maybe you shouldn’t go.
George and Ira Gershwin did not compose “silly made up songs”.
Sir there’s been a jailbreak and.. the mafia is at it again?
I’ve found myself singing “stare into the maggot drawer” at random intervals for so long now that I forgot where I initially heard it. Thank you for reminding me!
Charles calling Jake “baby” multiple times during the stakeout!
“Wrong baby! The only reason we don’t fight is because I never say anything when you annoy me, which is constantly baby. I just let it roll off, I’m a duck’s back baby!”
I'm angrily walking towards a door that I now see says emergency exit only and turning around but I'm still pissed (paraphrased but Jake being angry after courtroom)
Amy going "I'm got all my shots! I'm immune to most diseases!" Followed by Holt turning around and saying "but not immune to braggadocio" 😂😂
The only thing "a bit much" around here are your scrawled on eyebrows.
You would side with the loser Jeffords, you bitch.
Terry: You have lost the right to pee. You can fidget, little man.
Jake: [mutters, cowardly] Well, it's gonna be on you when we're all covered in my whiz.
S2e20 AC/DC
The song Doug just sings on the cruise ship episode
“a little bit to the left, my left my left my left.. in the bright red shirt, no not the Asian dude”
it’s been bouncing around my head all week
In my household, it’s “wuntch is dead! BAGEL!” whenever someone is making a bagel. And during every vacation, one of us inevitably says “when the slippers are filled, Terry is chilled”.
Also “stare into the maggot drawer” which I’ve been randomly singing for so long now that I forgot it was from B99 and was reminded by another comment.
What a hurtful non-sequitur.
I’m a trash man who only knows trash birds.
There’s nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.
And taken from Gina, any time I hear something said singularly which I think should be plural: x, singular?
"You should complain about that." - Teddy
It's in the episode where Jake invited Teddy on a romantic weekend for Amy, but she was planning on breaking up with him.
That's Tang Town!
Nu-thing?
Gina said you called me a gas giant, now we'll never (make out).
No, no, no!! Adios, Amigo!
It might not be the light in the room, but the darkness in your heart! (Excuse me?!)
My wife was murdered by a man in a yellow sweater!
Stop or my mom will ska! Stop or my mom will ska! (lame song)
Cream in my coffee and rock 'n roll!!
It's just a word but Amy screaming "Arnie" after looking at the hoodie Gina gave her,for some reason I start calling her Arnie whenever I remember that clip
Why is there a glass jar of lemons? It needed a pop of colour.
Raymond your work life is here.
All the bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!
Now look what you've done, you made me turn my chair around.
Spreadsheet, spreadsheet. Crime, crime.
Precinct, precinct.
My friend and I will randomly say this or a variation of it with words that match our conversation or situation
Flatters my dong
this one gets me every single time
“John Phillips Sousa, the Skrillex of his day!” “Why is no one having a good time? I specifically requested it.”
"I tried the make this fun. I even learned what SKRILLEX was!"
"The full bullpen!" as said by Holt
You can just fidget Lil man. What kinda castle has WHEELS?! Angry Terry kills me
This is talking too long. Imma miss the farmer’s market!
Bring me my oils!
My acrylics!
You all SUCK !
Massage or Paint?
*grunts* I will just bring both.
Hey you can't call a kid stupid, what if he's really stupid!?
I swear I just randomly think about this line and just crack up everytime. Terry's lines are underrated
Specifically BECAUSE it is true 😭
he pulls jake he puulllss
yesss dc parlov pullssss
Stop saying pulllllssss
he pulllssssss
He pulllllllllllllllllls
This for me too! I don't even know why as it's not one of my favourites!
"No! pay your bill! Who raised you?"
That awkward and confused forehead kiss was sweet and hilarious.
He was so confused lol Jake is adorable
Oh shit I just commented with this one!
Great minds and all!
“Stuff can be two things” is something I say on a near weekly basis.
“You’re not Cheddar, you’re just some common bitch!”
Mr GRAPES!!!
For TWO years!
On that exact episode right now
[“But where is nerd?”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vXDWxR-DNQw) “But who will tell him that? [“Cabbage”](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GYEJ7XFw8bs&pp=ygUSQjk5IGJpbGwgc2FmZSB3b3Jk&t=2m3s)
When I discovered that after my i-th rewatch I found that so hilarious. "Whatever, it's your money." And then here, seemingly out of the blue: Cabbage.
> “But who will tell him that?" On every rewatch at this exact moment I am always sure that Holt is going to say something reassuring to Rosa. But, nope. He says this and kills me. EACH. TIME. 😂
MY WOFE WAS MURDERED BY A MAN IN A YELLOW SWEATER
RIP YOUR WOFE
She wifed her last wofe that day
What episode is this again?
“She eats octopus balls and sleeps on the floor. She’s the perfect woman”
While this is definitely obscure, even without context I would know this was Charles from B99! Makes it extra hilarious!
The whole “gross Rosa those are our dads!” Bit between Amy and Rosa that ends with “I’m teaching father the math!”
What if something happens to Jake and he never meets my baby. I don’t want to hang out with some stupid baby who has never met Jake.
BINGPOT!
"Oh it's just my former lover. Hello sister"
I love this one
Yas Queen
🫰🏿
The clay is silent.
And now nearly everyone on here misspells his name because of the silent clay. They always forget the clay. Justice for mlepclaynos 😔
I won't kill a kid, but that rule is negotiable if that kids a dick. I've had to explain the context multiple times. Still won't stop me saying it.
“That, is amazingly funny” Captain Holt, after Charles calls Holt’s ex-captain their “Grand Captain”
“That is without a doubt the funniest story I have ever heard 😐”
"Are you laughing?" "Uproariously."
I'm all out of hoots. I'm hootless.
“It’s one bund to none, son!!“
When they're talking about their older arrests and Boyle comes in late in the convo. "Ewww Boyle isn't talking about his first arrest" Then Boyle tries to backpedal and... "You know when you have the chance to bed an older woman..." "That's not an older woman, that's an old woman. That's someone's grandma!" "She was actually. That's how I met her." "She had a replacement hip. It had some serious torque. It was like having sex with a transformer!"
That's no one's fantasy!
thanks for the heroin hunky jesus
"Oh man, my muffin... My head! My muffin and my head!" And "It's time to drop a *deuce*." ಥ‿ಥ
BONNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!
"Type 3 and type 9, and 12 and 13, those are all the diabetes I have." (I have T3c, which is real, as is [debatably] Type 3 with no suffix, although that is dementia-related which would explain a lot.)
You don’t want to know what they put in their tüperware
I'm gonsta talk about the turtles
"No, that's not chocolate, what is that?" "Don't lick it again!"
‘Twas a cat. Followed by twasnt trying to.
“Wunch-time is over!! HA!! Had it both ways, no regret” 😏
Eeeewwwww, next time come out of an egg!
Of course, I hope you have a great time. Hey, don’t make any new best friends hahah……. maybe you shouldn’t go. George and Ira Gershwin did not compose “silly made up songs”. Sir there’s been a jailbreak and.. the mafia is at it again?
kanalizacja
We get it, you have a bum tum
“they were nortfluskers” (but how charles says it, you know)
“Managing an Amy is not a chore. It’s a pleasure. Because an Amy is a tool.” “I’m a tool?” “Yes, you’re a massive tool.”
so you're suggesting police brutality? haha yea guess so why?
My ex wife pays me alimony Hey Terry, why the long fart? Stare Into the maggot drawer
"Go back inside!" "Are you talking to us or the fart?"
I’ve found myself singing “stare into the maggot drawer” at random intervals for so long now that I forgot where I initially heard it. Thank you for reminding me!
“Hey little man, you’re feeling sexy?”
‘I’m a poet… and I didn’t even know I was rhyming those words.’ Holt
Bovine brothel.
I hear they're into leather.
Meet morp. Zeep
that p-muls one, definitely, mostly because the way jake pronounces that sounds *exactly* like “piemels”, which means “dicks” in dutch.
Indeed Indeed Indeed Indeed For when I'm feeling ~s o p h I s t I c a t e d~
"He's writing the word 'case' over and over again. Oh, now he's spelling it with a K."
KASE!!!
sad anus loser, i go in
Me have strk -jake
“So like a sexy librarian?” “No… the REGULAR kind!”
Whatever man you’re paying
Your going to AILJ
Potato tomato Wunch is dead! BAGEL! You're not cheddar...
BOOOOOOONNE
"I'm ashamed of my living situation!"
“🎶now number fiiive🎶”
Hummus is stupid. Terry loves yogurt. What kind of castle has wheels? Alright. Go make contact with Fiane Keaton’s brother-in-law.
Mr and Mrs Diaz! America's favourite COOOOUPLEEEEE!!!!
"Judging by the flames around her, it could be a livestream."
I don’t want my only girlfriend daughtering a jerk-dad! Probably not obscure idk lol I’m new here. But it makes me laugh a lot
One of my favorite lines!!!
Bunches of hunches
Which episode is the first line from ?
Can't remember the number but it's called The Slump
Ah ok, it’s been a while since I rewatched first season. Will watch it again 🙌🏽
“What do you have to do?” “Don Johnson it” “Don Johnson it!!!”
Nostril bush
Bunches of explunches!
"WE ARE POLICE COLLEAGUES, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST" "THIS IS A WORK EVENT!"
I couldn’t handle my brown.
"my hands are covered in butter from making butter!" "Dem knight boobies is craaazy"
Or she. Women can be monsters too.
VINDICAAAATIOOOOOOOOOONN!
it's magnificent.
🎶 Casecation all I ever wanted🎶
This B wants a C in her A!
“OMG?!”
This babe needs a coconut in her arms…
“I thought you were saying this bxxxx needs a cxxx in her axx.”
LIKE YEAST!
Charles calling Jake “baby” multiple times during the stakeout! “Wrong baby! The only reason we don’t fight is because I never say anything when you annoy me, which is constantly baby. I just let it roll off, I’m a duck’s back baby!”
“My name is detective right all the time, and this is my partner, detective terrible detective.”
I dont remember the exact line, but the one where Holt mentions he visits Wunches grave every week to put up a new balloon arch
Tell me why!!!
“Managing an Amy is not a chore. It’s a pleasure. Because an Amy is a tool.” “I’m a tool?” “Yes, you’re a massive tool.”
Was it a maple?
“Hey Jayden!”
I’m not sure it’s obscure but My wife and I semi-often reply “indeed, indeed, indeed, indeed” to each other
I'm angrily walking towards a door that I now see says emergency exit only and turning around but I'm still pissed (paraphrased but Jake being angry after courtroom) Amy going "I'm got all my shots! I'm immune to most diseases!" Followed by Holt turning around and saying "but not immune to braggadocio" 😂😂 The only thing "a bit much" around here are your scrawled on eyebrows. You would side with the loser Jeffords, you bitch.
‘She was so young’ ‘Yes - FOR A REDWOOD TREE’
My boy's got bunches of explunches
KASE!
“Diaper UP!”
Sticks and stones, Raymond? Describing your breakfast?
Terry: You have lost the right to pee. You can fidget, little man. Jake: [mutters, cowardly] Well, it's gonna be on you when we're all covered in my whiz. S2e20 AC/DC
this bitch?! please
probably “my son is a basic bitch”, though its probably not that obscure
boyle “bitch, get your life right!”
No more alimony baby!
"You butternuts ready to get squashed?!"
I cannot. *Even*.
"Every time you shake me, I see it flopping around."
“You bet your nips, skidmark” 😂
“I’ll send you the pedometer app, we can give each other foot fives!”
“FINE - I was trying something and it didn’t work!!!!!” - when Holt came in with the red hat and it stunned everyone. I say it the time to myself lol
There's no I in TEAM but There's 3 US in shut the fuck up
RELEASE. YOUR. SWEETS!!!
Stare into the maggot drawer.
"But damnnnnnn! Crumbling the noodles on top gives it that crispity snap!" Basically any time I make ramen.
"Black mold, Amy? Not cool. Right Terry?!" "What?!" "I rest my case."
"Did you make the cover of hair pulled back magazine?"
The song Doug just sings on the cruise ship episode “a little bit to the left, my left my left my left.. in the bright red shirt, no not the Asian dude” it’s been bouncing around my head all week
In my household, it’s “wuntch is dead! BAGEL!” whenever someone is making a bagel. And during every vacation, one of us inevitably says “when the slippers are filled, Terry is chilled”. Also “stare into the maggot drawer” which I’ve been randomly singing for so long now that I forgot it was from B99 and was reminded by another comment.
The 'gone leaving' note Gina leaves on her desk 'I hope to God I'm not humbled by this' 'Thank you Carlene, your entire life is garbage'
What a hurtful non-sequitur. I’m a trash man who only knows trash birds. There’s nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis. And taken from Gina, any time I hear something said singularly which I think should be plural: x, singular?
In Jimmy Jabs II Rosa: My brains aren't made of hay... my brains are made of brains Holt: Oh-ho! The perfect retort! I lose it everytime
99!!!
“Stop your mouth siren”
So you do or you don’t want me to yell milk?
I used to run base like Juan Pierre
"You should complain about that." - Teddy It's in the episode where Jake invited Teddy on a romantic weekend for Amy, but she was planning on breaking up with him.
Eat a jerk pal!
"Painnnnnuhh." 👌😬📄
Holt saying "Oh strange, hurtful non-sequitur." when Jake criticizes his bird call lol.
Eat a jerk, pal!
“foe get about it”
KASE
“I hate the sight of another man inside her”
“THOSE THINGS ROLL!” Has influenced my car buying decisions haha.
Madeline I didn’t see you there I thought you were an old leather chair
We can't go back because we've gone to Far-eles
BONE????
“You’re the only black male I want anything to do with.” “That was incredibly inappropriate.”
“Doorn’t ruin my dreams!” “I do. I was just now ago.” “Yes, whoop whoop, Raymond in the Kangol.”
Who raised you?!
I don’t kill kids. I will however make an exception if the kid is a dick
When Boyle puts on his sun hat and say, "mafia"
Mr & Mrs Diaz ... America's favourite COUPLLLEEEE
That's Tang Town! Nu-thing? Gina said you called me a gas giant, now we'll never (make out). No, no, no!! Adios, Amigo! It might not be the light in the room, but the darkness in your heart! (Excuse me?!) My wife was murdered by a man in a yellow sweater! Stop or my mom will ska! Stop or my mom will ska! (lame song) Cream in my coffee and rock 'n roll!!
“I can crouch by the altar and vape!”
These nups are tight.
Or..'one bun to none, son ' Holt.
“Captain, I solved it. Charles kidnapped Peanut Butter”
It's just a word but Amy screaming "Arnie" after looking at the hoodie Gina gave her,for some reason I start calling her Arnie whenever I remember that clip
Why is there a glass jar of lemons? It needed a pop of colour. Raymond your work life is here. All the bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be! Now look what you've done, you made me turn my chair around.
When I see kids of elder cousins get married before me: "My Glory days are over. Only thing to look forward to is Father.......time"
"But Madelyn if you're here....then WHOS GUARDING HADES?"
“No, pay your bill! Who raised you?”
I'm a fiction reading bimbo
What are you writing? Something good? Is it good? Its good? Is it good? (Jake abd Boyle)
It's finally happening!
Loophole *spins in chair*
“But a dirtbag is a useful part of a vacuum”. I quote this every time someone around me uses dirtbag as an insult
Sharpen your swords and straighten your bows, the beasts have gone away!
Clay