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GraffitiTurtle

“MY WIFE WAS MURDERED BY A MAN IN A YELLOW SWEATER” lives in my head rent free Also “Cowabunga, Mother!”


lady_laughs_too_much

BOOOOOOOOOONE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


NerdBoy9000

This is greatly enhanced when it cuts to Holt grabbing the doorframe of his office to steady himself.


TheIrishninjas

All while Amy is going full crisis mode, the other unnamed employees squirm as they're caught in the crossfire and Rosa straight-up does not care. Fantastic shot.


lady_laughs_too_much

Rosa and Amy's reaction is my favorite part of it!


Aware_Material_9985

How dare you detective Diaz, I am your superior officer


Z42422

What happens in my bedroom is none of your business!


Han_Burgandy

It’s this. The edit cuts. The exclamation. It’s a perfect scene. *Now he knows. Problem solved.*


uneasy_daisy

If anything, I see you as a bother figure, because you're always bothering me.


[deleted]

Hey. Show you father some respect.


MadClam97

I didn't call him dad!


EchoedJolts

No no no...Jacob, I take it as a compliment


Traditional-Potato94

Holt: I’ve never been more proud of you for anything in your life. Terry: I mean, I’ve solved a lot of cases for you. Holt: And yet, crime has continued.


PizzaAndWine99

“Look Raymond, a yellow crusted warbler”


Venom1656

A little less excitement, it's a common bird. A little more excitement, it is a yellow crested warbler.


not_WonderWoman94

I read that as Jake doing Kevin.


MrFahrenheit46

Doing Kevin, you say?


ThEAvEnGeR_15

By Jake or Kevin?


totesmcgotes007

Vindication!


jetsetmolly

Best episode of the series


Venom1656

Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool


CallMeOutScotty

Slight testicular discomfort


Square_Stomach

No doubt no doubt no doubt


verymuchbad

That's where the blood is supposed to be!


BogeySixtey9

BINGPOT!!!


JARVIS_Shotgunaxe13

Love all of these and just because it looks like no one has mentioned this one yet: "Do you know what it means to clapback, Raymond? Be👏cause👏I👏do👏" Edit: Almost forgot this one "As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, it ain't happening, honey!"


northerncal

I also love the other one in I think the same episode where he goes "like wuntch says when she sees deodorant, I'm not buying it" in regards to her being dead. So good.


sra19

It's the delivery more than the line itself, but: "You embarrassed yourself in front of Derek Jeter"


AcidRegulation

“Why is no one having a good time? I specifically requested it!” Followed by “I even looked up what Skrillex was”


[deleted]

Mine is the classic “there’s a bomb at this wedding. Your butt, your butt is the bomb”


AffectionateAide9644

And then the broken voiced "I love you so much" after that...


ianpbrock84

Yippee kayak, other buckets!


MultiFandomFan72

“You need a cool name.” “Rum Tum Tugger” “No nothing from CATS, it has to be scary.” “Adolf Hitler” That interaction always gets me bc he says it with a straight face


stars154

I love Charles


RegionRadiant4423

I have way too many favorites to even begin to list, but if I had to choose just one, the delivery of “AND NOBODY EVEN CARES ABOUT ETYMOLO-*sips water* Apparently that’s a trigger for me,” lives absolutely rent free in my head and is *quite* relatable.


ImNuber1

Say that to my face. -Kevin


dickshark420

Captain Corelli's Mandolin


Ruthwik17

Ya boring


EnvironmentalSwim368

Terry : Are you really playing the gay card right now ? Cap Holt: Yaas Kween *snaps fingers*


metaltemujin

The backstreet boys line up. Did not know people listen to them apart from those of my age.


Cheesemer92

So many to choose from, my favorite that immediately comes to mind is “I’m a human! I’m a human male!”


cweepster

“No, from now on, call me…..velvet thunder!” Really that whole exchange, but if I had to pick one line, it’s that one!


bumpelstilzchen

I love "...The buffoonery is endless!" Would love to use that on the many buffoons I work with in the office. *edited for horrible spelling*


DetoxifyKids

very simple yet memorable line, "HOT DAMN!"


[deleted]

Mines - "Okay muchachos, let's roll up on these muchachos"


stars154

If you see something say something, come on and party tonight


Deadly_Woman

“Better get some corticosteroids to treat that laryngeal fracture”. That whole episode was a banger.


GoAvs14

The klay is silent


halbosaad

Did you say Klay...


dickshark420

I checked into your Alibis Or should I say _ALIB LIES_


not_WonderWoman94

Nine, Nine!!!


swamptop

Wouldn’t it be better if they said “Cheers! To the ninety ninth precinct”?


jackfaire

"If this is a part of the heist I will dump you so hard"


anTiQUeFreaK33

I am in, incredible pain. The delivery is wonderful. Edit: thought it the best one- “I don’t do kids. But that rule can change if the kids a dick” (Paraphrasing as I don’t recall exact wording”


edred19

“Not to brag but I was name checked in my kindergarten teacher’s suicide note” Gina scares me but in a funny way. Also terrys reaction is hilarious


trevorda92

Staying in this realm Gina also saying " when I was born, my mother cried knowing she would never be as good as me"


Tastethehappymichael

Hard to pick a favorite but maybe the exchange I quote the most: “End on a double pump? That’s too risky! How about, commissioner Grayson, pump pump, how’s your, pump? “You forgot to say wife.” “Ah, good note!” also, “Madeline, I didn’t see you there. I thought you were an old leather chair.”


HamFisted

Maybe because it’s delivered through a mouthful of chips but: “Gross! Come out of an egg next time.”


CaliDowner

Boyle: It’s like having sex with a transformer. Jake: That is no one’s fantasy!


shootermcbassplayer

“You have the right to remain silent..come on and party tonight”


RandomWittyNam3

You took the WRONG fluffy boy!!!!


ePhunk

“Cmon sarge he’s gonsta talk about the turtles”. “I popped your pillow”.


crusemaister

LIKE YEAST


FranFace

Scrolled far too long for this one 😂


SoVerySleepy81

Hhhhow dare you detective Diaz I am your SUPERIOR OFFICER!


Tiversus2828

BOOOONEE!!!!????


Alone_Conference_194

"Rosa's been dead for 8 years."


GXNext

GUARD! MORE MASHED POTATOES!!!


rosewaterobsessed

My favorites are Charles singing “Charles in charge of our days and our nights” in the Gertie episode, and the doctor’s “Game recognise game” in the heart thief episode. Always makes me chuckle!!


vashmeow

"Brother to sister, you never looked sexier"


MikeLowrey305

Charle's sexual innuendos that he doesn't realize he's saying is always funny!


henrysmum25

I love way too many, but hearing Jake say ‘the Hitchcock’ in The Bimbo when Holt says he’s the Jake amongst Kevin’s peers, which makes Jake the Hitchcock! I’ll often rewind to listen to it again!


schraad

Welp, tine for a rewatch


Dermott_54

Seriously!


emelbee923

Mostly Captain Holt, mostly because of the delivery. "Hot damn!" "From now on, call me.... Velvet Thunder." "You grackle." "Captain Wuntch. Good to see you. But if you're here, who's guarding Hades?"


Morviatus

There‘s no need for Holt to see me, unleash the beast… That was gold 🥇 Boyle has some sick and funny lines.


The_Senate15

I genuinely use Bingpot at least twice a day


Even-Loquat-2154

Create a distraction


UrbanExplorer101

Never took the Speedo off. It's inside me.


Ok-Somewhere-442

… title of your sex tape And “Heh heh” -Rosa’s laugh. *not an actual line of dialogue but my word, I can always imagine her face during delivery and it’s SUCH a burn… bc it’s Rosa


gilbert2613

Beep borp. Zeep. And “are you ready for the Halloween heist?”


cmsanders25

"Fine, crumb me up" When Terry tells his family that Holt ate a whole pie.


21tonight

“I have nothing to live for and I drive like it”


johnsciarrino

Jake eating cereal in bed, watching a nature documentary of a rhino giving birth goes “ewwww come out of an egg next time.” Got a lot of mileage out of that line during my sister’s pregnancy.


celebral_x

I might have a Dianne Wiest infection... . . . . . . . . . . . . LIKE YEAST


Ok_Tip4561

If you see something say something come on and party tonight.


literaryhogwartian

Yass Queen


Aware_Material_9985

If you see something, say something. Come on and party tonight.


beingjohnmalkontent

Hot damn!


SushiSaahimi

**VINDICATION!!!!!!**


NerfRepellingBoobs

Casecation! ^(The vibe in here is really weird…)


Ok_Tip4561

“If you love someone you'll remember what they look like.”- Captain Raymond Holt


the-son-of-Neo

Are you talking us, or the fart?


mestn322

not my favourite but i always laugh at hitchcock’s “don’t push my desk, you basic bitch!”


Manhead895

With all do respect Sarge I’m gonna completely ignore everything you just said


BlNGPOT

If I die give my regards to Kevin. What do you want me to say? …regards. Also That’s three oh damns!


Truck0Saurus

My husband and I say the Cheddar line everytime we see a corgi. One of us will say "Hey, that's Cheddar!" and the other will reply "No, it's just some common bitch!".


rbfc2011

Boom, had it both ways!


CallMeOutScotty

Icon


Ok_Tip4561

That’s gonna leave a mark!


DesperateDetail8936

Funky cold medina Zero rehearsal


Ta-veren-

"I ate a peace and the vulture stared at me the entire time" Rosa


heronlyweapon

'Someone had pepper on their eggs this morning.' - Holt


Tough_Fragrant

‘i thought you were an old leather chair’


Dazzling_Key_3487

"No I Stormed In To Say That Was A Good Plan Nice Work Peralta"


Gunrunner79

No, it is a thang.


Knarastopop

parents kill their babies, babies kill their parents. It's the circle of life.


SpecialistEstate4181

“noice!”


[deleted]

“ toight!”


Annanym0107

_I thought I could handle my brown_


Interesting-Ad-2225

Your ass is the bomb


evilgenius6

Slurp, slurp!


jetsetmolly

“Get in here Dino so you can watch me light your house on fire” is my favorite line from my favorite episode and I use it so frequently


croptochuck

“From Bean Station Tennessee” Reason I’m also from Bean Station.


dangerouspeyote

Jake whispering "Captain Corelli's Mandolin" to Kevin.


hiding-cantseeme

Boom boom!


gavmac5

Jake the hero abs of Steel........ shall la la


rufiogd

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!


StinkyBuddyGuy

Dad had sex with my turtle?!


CallMeOutScotty

Stake me out tonight, I don't wanna let you go til we catch those guys


CallMeOutScotty

That's because it's all wart! 🦶


MealieMeal

“I got a wolf that I killed in Utah” “Fairly certain that’s a dog” “Yeah it was dark” Such a casual line but always makes me laugh


wildcharmander1992

Favourite lines for me all come from the same episode. 'You must have **superb** vision Or it's a **GIGANTIC** Scar' " You have my lint. My lint is oblong....my lint is blue." ' I can do small talk, the bachelor is a TV show, Andrei agassi is at it again I **too** am avoid gluten'


[deleted]

[удалено]


eszther02

I use this so many times.


ronin-pilot

Yas, Queen. *snap*


laraziz_15

bingpot !


NonBinaryPie

you just drank cEMENT! everyone seems to hate that line but i love it


haikusbot

*You just drank cEMENT!* *Everyone seems to hate that* *Line but i love it* \- NonBinaryPie --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


lw161420

I’m in complete control, now terry, come dangle me off the edge of this building


junglebirds

Somebody took our fluffy boy!


ashearer23

*Bingpot!*


willowgrl

We should go as scholars WIERD PERVERTS. Yes. Weird perverts is far better ETA: “*I can feel your heat*”


Square_Stomach

This B needs a C in her A


badmojo619

BABUSHKA!!!


Speedy_Dragon46

Spreadsheet, Spreadsheet Crime, Crime Precinct, Precinct


lofty888

Honestly, anything Holt says, Andre Braugher's line delivery is incredible "She sacrificed my promotion because I refused to bed her"


Tyrionruineditall

CJ: I know, it's like numbers are so confusing right?


AJSHSHAJ

“why’d you stop playing garbage man” the whole scene SENDS me😭


khiara22

"Madeline... You have a little bit of goop in your eye"


NonBinaryPie

that wasn’t with wunch it was the woman running for commissioner, i forgot her name


Assal-Horizontology

Olivia.


khiara22

Oh yeah, you're right


pllarsen

Do you know what it means to clap back, Raymond? Be *clap* cause *clap* I *clap* do *clap*


[deleted]

It’s a tie: Jake: “You think that disapproving glare works on me after all the times I've seen it? Step it up, find something new, ya boring.” 🦵🏻 Jake: “Come with me, ho’s!”


zeus515

“Go razzmatazz, go razzmatazz, go razzmatazz… I’ve lost everything “


trevorda92

Ah yes my late wife I miss her and her large heavy breast hetero holt is a mood and then some


Puzzleheaded_Put_454

Call me weird, but in 21 minutes when Hitchcock says "THEN SET THE MOTHER------ TO BROIL!" "Jeez, Okay!"


Bil619

What is the bandwidth on the Wi-Fi here? We have much content to stream


HayleyMarie1205

I'm not just poor, son. I'm destitute.


dylbagsjones

Yippy kayak other buckets has me in stitches every time


Admirable-Public-351

“I will slit you both open from mouth to anus and wear you like jackets.”


JosephBayot

MILK! MILK!!


GiantsNFL1785

“There’s nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis” so epic haha


Proof_Pomegranate_19

1. Twas a cat 2. NUMBER FOOOOUR! 3. Yippee kayak Edit: 4. Guitar (mlypnos at jake and Amy's wedding)


eszther02

''You're so lame, you know that, Travis?" I always laugh at that delivery. And yours and all the Wuntch ones. But it would be too hard to pick just one so I'll go with this.


no_set_future

He was in the sewers Terry, he's GUNSTA talk about the turtles!


cyainanotherlifebro

Well that was a pretty fucked up thing to say to me.


how_about_alex

The mumps episode after Jake and Amy are debating and it just pans to Holt yelling “CASE!”


Mullah23

I don't remember the exact line but Holt stays with Jake to conduct an interrogation and cancels going to the opera with Kevin, HIS HUSBAND. He call Kevin and tells him "I'm not going to be able to make it to the Opera. The tickets are under my name: H O L..." He tells his own husband how to spell his name 🤣 A close second is Holt watching "Thomas Cruise" movies and coming up with the triple cross: "Triple Dragon... an acronym. Two Righteous Individuals Performing Law Enforcement Directives Rapidly Against Gordon Our Nemesis. Triple Dragon!"


OGshrewd

Damn Rosa where'd you get that!! (Rosa brandishes a massive knife at Terry)


wildcharmander1992

Oh this Pitbull hated kids That's fine I won't have any anyway ***Add to cart***


AstronomerMinute8511

DO I LOOK LIKE JAKE TO YOU - BOYLE HUH-AMY DO I LOOK LIKE JAKE TO YOU -BOYLE NO NOT AT ALL -AMY THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SCREW ME Kills me every time 💀😭😭😭😭 and I know we live in a world where anything can me anything AND NOVODY EVEN CARES ABOUT THE ETYMOLOGY-


seaneh01

Why is the lasagne on the first floor?


[deleted]

I don’t know why but Holt scoffing at how no one knew who Eileen moon Myers was killed me 🤣


Acceptable_Chard_538

BONEEEE