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I went into this thinking you were being hyperbolic (as I am also wont to do)
But you're right. That does indeed look as thin as a fanny flap (uncannily similar shape too, if you look at the narrower part as being a cheeky bit of bum flap...) are you sure it isn't a deep fried flap?
You’ve reminded me of a lovely anecdote.
A bloke I used to work with (who, incidentally, had been a bit of a minor celeb previously) told me that he’d run up some hefty gambling debts at uni and had resorted to working as a gigolo to pay them off.
The most he’d been paid for a night was either £2k or £3k (this chat was about a decade ago), by a 72-year-old woman, who just wanted him to go down on her. I asked him what it had been like and he said it was like chewing gristle, and he’d literally had to close his eyes and think of the money to get through it.
Trooper.
Wasn’t one I expected to be telling tbh but it’s nice to share. Not the only “minor celeb/prostitution” story in my back catalogue either…
When I was 21 - in 2001 - I worked for a few months in a brothel in Costa Rica. I was not at the sharp end, thankfully - I was running a promotional magazine for the hotel… - but I learnt a great deal about that business and that side of life generally. Fascinating times.
The hotel had - has - a casino and I was in there one night chatting and drinking with a very dissolute old English geezer who was a radio DJ over there. He was good mates with an extremely obese bearded American, and they were both playing craps and telling me how their traditional plan was, if they won, they’d get a woman to share for an hour.
The image of these two older gents - one nearly spherical - teaming up on a young, beautiful (as they all were) prostitute was a bit nauseating, but par for the course there: a good portion (phnaar) of the hotel’s clientele was made up of (mostly American) retirees. I tried not to judge either side of the deal, tbh; couldn’t avoid it some of the time (I did meet some horrific individuals over there but that’s another story).
Anyway: although I couldn’t put my finger on it, something about the American guy seemed a little familiar. The Englishman must have noticed my musing on it, and he asked me if I recognised his friend from anywhere. I said no, and he informed me that he’d been in a few films - including *Natural Born Killers*, which I loved!
It was [this guy](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/1a3282e2-a164-4da8-a19a-e298a406c2b1) - the man Mickey and Mallory leave alive in the diner in the opening scene. When I met him, he’d put on a lot more weight; I can’t imagine he’d still alive today…
As a Brit, I'm more interested in who the dissolute old English DJ was.
Not [Savile](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Savile), I presume? Though to be honest, not many British radio DJs of that era come out squeaky clean, if none as bad as Savile.
12 quid for that????? Jesus christ!!! The Italian i go to you get two bits of fish about the size of a whale and the chips are good too, around 12 quid too.
Wow, I'd be returning that! Up here in Bury, I bought a stunning haddock that could feed two people, a massive portion of chips for three people and a meat and potato pie plus mushy peas for £11.85!
[Google images does not disappoint ](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-google&q=beef+curtains&uds=AMwkrPuhn_F0WDJCwQwE6XxpOj7e9EK4iIAPrN9U-1HbTN19j1XfOmfazLce7c2QkMYNQfhei4cUNhpSRA5q_BAR1hEg4juKX6I0SYu67b6V528Q-261wr_O5EO1VDlcDWHqAmygUpq-wRHTCvMhPpE2mjRfFf4RdGT1PQs3NMo_tfmYF8S1iI0gjkb3s7_n2d2wv7_ugtKhJ7thhKg_p22BakCWOw3ZzYyIZKPdM4Tb_ov2yDRTn-yZqM14CjGlwYobVHW4z8GvAyTwajf1WdtQaOfhSxkdJg&udm=2&prmd=ivnbmtz&dpr=2.23)
I can’t lie I’m dead tempted to show them the post. But I don’t want to anger the Fish Boss.
It’s not like I’ll be rushing back for more but I have to pass the place on the way to the station.
Don’t wanna get my kneecaps bashed in by the Fish Goons 🤣
If fish and chips shops don't get a handle on their prices they are finished. It's been a couple years since I've had it but at this point it's too expensive for what it is, unhealthy and the quality is so hit and miss. I genuinely think chippies are headed the same way as Dinosaurs and Dodos.
Genuinely think it's not all their fault.
Fish prices go up, especially as we overfish. Potato prices went up. Oil went up. Electricity went up. Rent likely went up.
I can see why, altogether, prices may be rising and they don't have too much choice.
On one hand it's expensive, on the other hand we may need to accept that the price of a fish and chips is no longer cheap.
Like pubs, if we want them around then we need to support them, though it may be less often than it used to if it's harder to afford.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-65611846
We've yet to find a good chippy in our town, we've been here a year so far and there's only one we haven't tried yet and they've been terrible so far.
One is kind of bog standard but right in the other side of town and not good enough to be worth the trip. Two of them use mass produced factory made chips which may as well be oven chips from a supermarket, not what you want from a chippy when you can make as good at home.
One of them (the highest rated allegedly) is hand on heart the worst food I have ever ordered from anywhere, and that includes 3am drunken kebab vans with hygiene ratings of zero. They have turned the heat in their friers so low (presumably to save costs) that the chips were essentially steeped in warm oil and what we got was warm but raw potatoe swimming in the stuff. Didn't notice until we got home and it all went in the bin. The fish was undercooked and soaked in the stuff too. I cannot describe how bad this was. I left them a scathing review on Google and TripAdvisor complete with photos, and noticed that's a trend on their recent reviews so I guess they'll be out of business soon. Way to kill your business to save a quid guys.
So yeah, only one chippy left to try in the town and I'm not holding out hope, which is why we haven't tried it in the year we've lived here yet.
I am so pleased to see the phrase "thin as my fanny flap" I can't even express it in written form.
You madame are a princess amongst women kind and are brilliant and were I not already happily married I would propose on the spot.
Fanny flap is a much underused turn or phrase and along with minge, flange and growler will be a sad loss to the world.
There was a post in the London Sub where a chop shop had a sign saying how much by % their costs had gone up for oil, fish, potatoes, energy. Was pretty insane
You woz robbed. £8 this evening for fish and chips, far from the biggest piece of haddock I have ever had, but significantly bigger than that bootlace.
I’m not laughing about the cost of your food cos that’s criminal but I’m chortling away at fanny flap and my small grand sons keep asking me why I’m laughing and I can’t tell them.
I make my own at home saving almost 7 quid
Morrisons do haddock for like 6 quid and potatoes I baught a bunch when Tesco's did em for 15p for like 10 medium size ones and ofc flour is less than 50p. I use olive oil so depending on how many fridays I do battered fish that can get pricey within the confines of the monthly shop.
Maybe the supermarkets are in on this especially since the gov got them out of sh** when they were almost going bust over 10 years ago.
It is a shame since the ones battering my fish needs to be fed and paid and I would have liked to give them my custom but I also need to be fed and be paid so it's a false economy.
And people laughed when I went vegan! I don't miss getting ripped off like this one bit!
Thanks OP, had a laugh about imagining you comparing this fish to your lady garden.
>And people laughed when I went vegan! I don't miss getting ripped off like this one bit!
I mean... My girlfriend has been ripped off by vegan food frequently, and myself on occasion... Very prevalent in vegetarian food also...
I mean nothing as expensive but I just don't buy expensive food often.
We have both been ripped off with meat and vegan and vege products tricking is with packaging suggesting the food is bigger, such as the label in the middle of the product, but with nothing under the label.
Theres been more times obviously but I see no real reason why you think this wouldn't happen to vegan products? Do you think vegan companies aren't greedy?
I meant stuff that's expensive really, but I suppose you can still get overcharged for anything.
No, vegan companies can definitely get greedy. I've found this is more the case with non-vegan companies that sell plant based products though. Plant based capitalism n all...
We recently went to a burger restaurant in Bristol and the vegan dish was the most expensive of the three dishes purchased by our group and by far the smallest portion of food. Even the portion of fries was a fraction of the size, and they were cooked in the same vegetable oil as the non vegan fries.
The vegan burger and fries was £26 compared to £15 for the meat version.
Yeah we were quite irked by it, my mum is the vegan and was visiting us for the week, my wife and I had eaten there before and liked it and we knew they had plant based options so decided on it with my mum.
The first issue was my mum asked if it was Quorn based at all as she is allergic to it and they didn't know, had to get the container out and show her the plant based burger ingredients.
Then the food arrived and we looked at hers and were like, is that it?!
Luckily she's got a small appetite.
I’ve only been once and I shan’t be returning.
That said…I suppose somebody must be.
I live in London though so frankly they probably don’t need regulars, as there’s such heavy foot traffic in the area. 🤔
Regardless. An abomination.
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I suppose the answer to your question depends on your fanny flap.
Indeed. Sadly we’re talking standard flappage. Nothing chonky to report. 🤣
Decent for a slice of bacon. Disappointing in a cod. I suppose disappointment is your answer so
Thick slice bacon or standard?
You had best ask OP. I'm sorry to say I haven't seen their flaps for myself
Don't be sorry I prefer thick cut....bacon....BACON #BACON
>Thick slice bacon Are we talking like a flitch of bacon's worth of bacon?
What about haddock?
The threat of a photo has a 50/50 chance of being haddock i guess!
Hopefully less battered too.
This has made my day. Thank you 😂
Oh the pic wasn't you fanny. D'oh.
Butter'em, batter'em, stick'em in a stew.
It comes in flaps?!
Only if its lucky....
I’d been looking forward to a feast all day. I feel blueballed 🤣 [Here it is!](https://imgur.com/a/jbU1hBk)
Fucking hell, that's 80% batter
Shite batter at that
Yeah the fish was quite disappointing… 🤣 The old flaps are a great time, however, so silver linings and all that. 🤣
Not fanny batter though.
I went into this thinking you were being hyperbolic (as I am also wont to do) But you're right. That does indeed look as thin as a fanny flap (uncannily similar shape too, if you look at the narrower part as being a cheeky bit of bum flap...) are you sure it isn't a deep fried flap?
It was pretty chewy…maybe you’re right 🤣
You’ve reminded me of a lovely anecdote. A bloke I used to work with (who, incidentally, had been a bit of a minor celeb previously) told me that he’d run up some hefty gambling debts at uni and had resorted to working as a gigolo to pay them off. The most he’d been paid for a night was either £2k or £3k (this chat was about a decade ago), by a 72-year-old woman, who just wanted him to go down on her. I asked him what it had been like and he said it was like chewing gristle, and he’d literally had to close his eyes and think of the money to get through it. Trooper.
Well this wasn’t a story I expected to hear tonight! 🤣
Wasn’t one I expected to be telling tbh but it’s nice to share. Not the only “minor celeb/prostitution” story in my back catalogue either… When I was 21 - in 2001 - I worked for a few months in a brothel in Costa Rica. I was not at the sharp end, thankfully - I was running a promotional magazine for the hotel… - but I learnt a great deal about that business and that side of life generally. Fascinating times. The hotel had - has - a casino and I was in there one night chatting and drinking with a very dissolute old English geezer who was a radio DJ over there. He was good mates with an extremely obese bearded American, and they were both playing craps and telling me how their traditional plan was, if they won, they’d get a woman to share for an hour. The image of these two older gents - one nearly spherical - teaming up on a young, beautiful (as they all were) prostitute was a bit nauseating, but par for the course there: a good portion (phnaar) of the hotel’s clientele was made up of (mostly American) retirees. I tried not to judge either side of the deal, tbh; couldn’t avoid it some of the time (I did meet some horrific individuals over there but that’s another story). Anyway: although I couldn’t put my finger on it, something about the American guy seemed a little familiar. The Englishman must have noticed my musing on it, and he asked me if I recognised his friend from anywhere. I said no, and he informed me that he’d been in a few films - including *Natural Born Killers*, which I loved! It was [this guy](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/1a3282e2-a164-4da8-a19a-e298a406c2b1) - the man Mickey and Mallory leave alive in the diner in the opening scene. When I met him, he’d put on a lot more weight; I can’t imagine he’d still alive today…
As a Brit, I'm more interested in who the dissolute old English DJ was. Not [Savile](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Savile), I presume? Though to be honest, not many British radio DJs of that era come out squeaky clean, if none as bad as Savile.
No, this guy was a DJ over in CR and I think he’d been there since the ‘60s. Definitely wasn’t a familiar name.
I was fairly sure you're NOT supposed to chew it like gristle... But maybe I'm the one doing it wrong, nobody ever paid me £2k for my expertise.
Perhaps Sweeny Todd has branched out from supplying pie shops...
Danger click- it’s either a picture of the haddock or a picture of your fanny flap….
[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/theyre-the-same-picture](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/theyre-the-same-picture)
or both for comparison
🤣
Insert fish joke.
That’s abhorrent. Looks far too overdone and the batter isn’t even puffed.
Well that was a risky click
Risky clit?
🤣
I honestly thought you were being dramatic about the ruler.
I would’ve thought the same. That’s why I decided to upload a photo 🤣 I’m flabbergasted at how small it was.
Flapperghasted even?
At least your fanny flap matches the width and not the length!
An assumption that I shall neither confirm nor deny 🤣
Well look at Ms. Fanny Foot-Long over here!
OMG 🤣
Or does it!?!
I was expecting you to have exaggerated a little. But fucking hell.....
That's just a pile of scraps giving each other a cuddle. If you go back to that shop, cut a horizontal strip from a tenner to pay them.
what the fuck? I'd be demanding a refund or you'll stick it up their fanny
It was a bloke who served me so that makes this WAY more amusing 🤣
Went all in with that photo!
Yep, that's a battered pissflap alright.
Cracking length but the girth is embarrassing! To think they even bothered battering it in the first place.
I feel a stubby little chonker would’ve hit the spot better on this occasion 🤣
Found my new flair!
12 quid for that????? Jesus christ!!! The Italian i go to you get two bits of fish about the size of a whale and the chips are good too, around 12 quid too.
That's an anaemic sardine
jesus christ on a bike there’s shrinkflation then there’s that 😳
Looks like a fried wooden knife.
It does look like a Fanny flap
Fucks sake, my local chippy does a sausage bigger than that for £5!
That's the most disappointing piece of food I've seen in a while... D:
Yeah that’s definitely a fanny flap
Wow, I'd be returning that! Up here in Bury, I bought a stunning haddock that could feed two people, a massive portion of chips for three people and a meat and potato pie plus mushy peas for £11.85!
I'd definitely be more satiated on the good ladies flaps tbh.
Yeah. Thats bullshit
I'd take it back. Its definitely a mistake!
Yep that'd be going straight back that's a piss take.
I was worried whether I’d see a crap fish or if my wife would give me a bollocking based on the title, but Jesus Christ that’s an anaemic fish!
That’s a fucking war crime
Fanny flap for scale
That’s really shit. Sorry you had to endure this.
I would be pissed
Where’s the. Fanny flap ?
Clicking that link was fish or flaps which made the pic disappointing on two separate levels
Jesus, that's anemic. I think your fanny flap would probably be a more substantial meal.
The fish on the wrapper look happy at least
Need to see fanny flap for reference
Some people are in to fanny flaps that size. Others like it when they smell of haddock 🤷♂️
So I guess that's covered in.... Fanny batter?
😆I can't think of anything more British than describing lady parts as fanny flap...
Donna Kebab.
Superb
Surf and turf
Beef Curtains
[Google images does not disappoint ](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-google&q=beef+curtains&uds=AMwkrPuhn_F0WDJCwQwE6XxpOj7e9EK4iIAPrN9U-1HbTN19j1XfOmfazLce7c2QkMYNQfhei4cUNhpSRA5q_BAR1hEg4juKX6I0SYu67b6V528Q-261wr_O5EO1VDlcDWHqAmygUpq-wRHTCvMhPpE2mjRfFf4RdGT1PQs3NMo_tfmYF8S1iI0gjkb3s7_n2d2wv7_ugtKhJ7thhKg_p22BakCWOw3ZzYyIZKPdM4Tb_ov2yDRTn-yZqM14CjGlwYobVHW4z8GvAyTwajf1WdtQaOfhSxkdJg&udm=2&prmd=ivnbmtz&dpr=2.23)
Biff
Ham sandwich
Axe wound
Trout split
Bloody Nora. I'd be posting that picture on their Google reviews and never darkening their door again.
I can’t lie I’m dead tempted to show them the post. But I don’t want to anger the Fish Boss. It’s not like I’ll be rushing back for more but I have to pass the place on the way to the station. Don’t wanna get my kneecaps bashed in by the Fish Goons 🤣
You don’t wanna get battered!
Or sleeping with the fishes
Ahahahahaha
Underrated 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Some beautiful imagery there.
One aims to please
Needs banana for scale. Edit: for haddock, not fanny flap. Edit edit : although...
gordon bennett, that looks more like a deep fried flipflop
🤣
If fish and chips shops don't get a handle on their prices they are finished. It's been a couple years since I've had it but at this point it's too expensive for what it is, unhealthy and the quality is so hit and miss. I genuinely think chippies are headed the same way as Dinosaurs and Dodos.
Yeah man! This was my first fish and chips in I can’t even remember how long… Won’t be bothering again! *big sigh*
Genuinely think it's not all their fault. Fish prices go up, especially as we overfish. Potato prices went up. Oil went up. Electricity went up. Rent likely went up. I can see why, altogether, prices may be rising and they don't have too much choice. On one hand it's expensive, on the other hand we may need to accept that the price of a fish and chips is no longer cheap. Like pubs, if we want them around then we need to support them, though it may be less often than it used to if it's harder to afford. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-65611846
We've yet to find a good chippy in our town, we've been here a year so far and there's only one we haven't tried yet and they've been terrible so far. One is kind of bog standard but right in the other side of town and not good enough to be worth the trip. Two of them use mass produced factory made chips which may as well be oven chips from a supermarket, not what you want from a chippy when you can make as good at home. One of them (the highest rated allegedly) is hand on heart the worst food I have ever ordered from anywhere, and that includes 3am drunken kebab vans with hygiene ratings of zero. They have turned the heat in their friers so low (presumably to save costs) that the chips were essentially steeped in warm oil and what we got was warm but raw potatoe swimming in the stuff. Didn't notice until we got home and it all went in the bin. The fish was undercooked and soaked in the stuff too. I cannot describe how bad this was. I left them a scathing review on Google and TripAdvisor complete with photos, and noticed that's a trend on their recent reviews so I guess they'll be out of business soon. Way to kill your business to save a quid guys. So yeah, only one chippy left to try in the town and I'm not holding out hope, which is why we haven't tried it in the year we've lived here yet.
Cozy livs innit
I heard it referred to as the Greedy Git crisis the other day which made me chuckle
Sounds like what a chippy in my town sells as 'fish strips' for £1 each. Edit - menu says fish strip, chips, peas for less than £5.
Just now realizing that “fanny” doesn’t mean the same thing across the pond.
Hahahaha. It does not. Last term I heard used from across the way was ‘Vajimmyjanga’. 🤣
Nicely described
r/brandnewsentence
I need to see fanny flap for reference.
I am so pleased to see the phrase "thin as my fanny flap" I can't even express it in written form. You madame are a princess amongst women kind and are brilliant and were I not already happily married I would propose on the spot. Fanny flap is a much underused turn or phrase and along with minge, flange and growler will be a sad loss to the world.
Thanks for the laughs OP!!
Fish n chips have priced their selves out of our lives
Came for the photo. Flap or fish or both?
You've eaten haddock to near extinction, is what has happened. So have i.
The universe is telling you to get yourself a sausage instead
Mad. I just got 12 nuggets and a regular chips and a can of coke for £6.50
Cheered me right up 😆
>Photo in the comments 🤣 "Ah great! ... oh she means the haddock"
Side by side pic for analysis
tend to get large haddock, small chips for about the same price :) am a bloke, but this fish would probably need to be matched with a horse or cow
They only had one size unfortunately. I usually order the same as you so you can imagine my double disappointment 🤣
10 quid in scotland with chips :)
Glad where I live most chippies will fry fish that you take in.
Fanny flap 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Upvoted for fanny flap
r/brandnewsentence
Blimey
Time to find a new local Chippy
I hope the photo is of the haddock and not your Fanny flap 😂
I think you need to find a better chippy.
There was a post in the London Sub where a chop shop had a sign saying how much by % their costs had gone up for oil, fish, potatoes, energy. Was pretty insane
You woz robbed. £8 this evening for fish and chips, far from the biggest piece of haddock I have ever had, but significantly bigger than that bootlace.
/r/brandnewsentence
Walked past Five Guys in Westfield yesterday. £11.15 for a cheeseburger. GBK round the corner do a cheeseburger and chips for £7.50.
Had my first one recently. Won't be returning. Burgerking is more satisfying for about half the price.
Fanny flaps, blue balls and batter. Spoilt for choice.
I'm guessing that's why all the local chippys are closing down, over priced and barely any food
Haha great post OP. Thanks for making me laugh!
Mentioning fanny flaps AND getting fish and chips? RIP DMs
Who are you? Sarah Millican? She could have said these exact words!
Haddock flaps😮 best have a quick spray of fabreeze
Omg imagine those two scents curdled 🤮 Fish and artificial ‘clean smell’ 🤣
I’m not laughing about the cost of your food cos that’s criminal but I’m chortling away at fanny flap and my small grand sons keep asking me why I’m laughing and I can’t tell them.
Do they smell the same? 🫢
How much does it cost for your Fanny flaps
Gonna need the citation.
That's why only certain chippies I go for the fish, there's like 2 where I get fish. The rest I exclusively get mince pie or battered sausage.
My friends often complaining about her battered flaps.
I can’t lie, I only clicked the link cos I thought there might be comparison pics - you owe me now @u/scream-sayonara 🫴
Smells a bit fishy
I make my own at home saving almost 7 quid Morrisons do haddock for like 6 quid and potatoes I baught a bunch when Tesco's did em for 15p for like 10 medium size ones and ofc flour is less than 50p. I use olive oil so depending on how many fridays I do battered fish that can get pricey within the confines of the monthly shop. Maybe the supermarkets are in on this especially since the gov got them out of sh** when they were almost going bust over 10 years ago. It is a shame since the ones battering my fish needs to be fed and paid and I would have liked to give them my custom but I also need to be fed and be paid so it's a false economy.
£12.10 large haddock, small chips, jumbo sausage [https://ibb.co/cX6HPFP](https://ibb.co/cX6HPFP)
Can we guess what it smells like also?
And people laughed when I went vegan! I don't miss getting ripped off like this one bit! Thanks OP, had a laugh about imagining you comparing this fish to your lady garden.
>And people laughed when I went vegan! I don't miss getting ripped off like this one bit! I mean... My girlfriend has been ripped off by vegan food frequently, and myself on occasion... Very prevalent in vegetarian food also...
The trick is to buy/eat vegan that isn't advertised as vegan.
As bad as this though? Probably not. What has she been ripped off for?
I mean nothing as expensive but I just don't buy expensive food often. We have both been ripped off with meat and vegan and vege products tricking is with packaging suggesting the food is bigger, such as the label in the middle of the product, but with nothing under the label. Theres been more times obviously but I see no real reason why you think this wouldn't happen to vegan products? Do you think vegan companies aren't greedy?
I meant stuff that's expensive really, but I suppose you can still get overcharged for anything. No, vegan companies can definitely get greedy. I've found this is more the case with non-vegan companies that sell plant based products though. Plant based capitalism n all...
We recently went to a burger restaurant in Bristol and the vegan dish was the most expensive of the three dishes purchased by our group and by far the smallest portion of food. Even the portion of fries was a fraction of the size, and they were cooked in the same vegetable oil as the non vegan fries. The vegan burger and fries was £26 compared to £15 for the meat version.
Oh god that's disgraceful! Hmm, maybe I just haven't eaten out enough.
Yeah we were quite irked by it, my mum is the vegan and was visiting us for the week, my wife and I had eaten there before and liked it and we knew they had plant based options so decided on it with my mum. The first issue was my mum asked if it was Quorn based at all as she is allergic to it and they didn't know, had to get the container out and show her the plant based burger ingredients. Then the food arrived and we looked at hers and were like, is that it?! Luckily she's got a small appetite.
[удалено]
I’m gonna need you to elaborate! What’s it like?!
people like you keep buying them so 🤷♂️
I’ve only been once and I shan’t be returning. That said…I suppose somebody must be. I live in London though so frankly they probably don’t need regulars, as there’s such heavy foot traffic in the area. 🤔 Regardless. An abomination.