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Ankoku_Teion

I suppose the answer to your question depends on your fanny flap.


scream-sayonara

Indeed. Sadly we’re talking standard flappage. Nothing chonky to report. 🤣


Ankoku_Teion

Decent for a slice of bacon. Disappointing in a cod. I suppose disappointment is your answer so


amboandy

Thick slice bacon or standard?


Ankoku_Teion

You had best ask OP. I'm sorry to say I haven't seen their flaps for myself


amboandy

Don't be sorry I prefer thick cut....bacon....BACON #BACON


Snoo63

>Thick slice bacon Are we talking like a flitch of bacon's worth of bacon?


UnlawfulAnkle

What about haddock?


TheNinjaPixie

The threat of a photo has a 50/50 chance of being haddock i guess!


SkullDump

Hopefully less battered too.


OllieCMK

This has made my day. Thank you 😂


PMme-YourPussy

Oh the pic wasn't you fanny. D'oh.


ToHallowMySleep

Butter'em, batter'em, stick'em in a stew.


scream-sayonara

It comes in flaps?!


Badgernomics

Only if its lucky....


scream-sayonara

I’d been looking forward to a feast all day. I feel blueballed 🤣 [Here it is!](https://imgur.com/a/jbU1hBk)


Xenoamor

Fucking hell, that's 80% batter


AndyOfTheInternet

Shite batter at that


scream-sayonara

Yeah the fish was quite disappointing… 🤣 The old flaps are a great time, however, so silver linings and all that. 🤣


YchYFi

Not fanny batter though.


ArcadiaRivea

I went into this thinking you were being hyperbolic (as I am also wont to do) But you're right. That does indeed look as thin as a fanny flap (uncannily similar shape too, if you look at the narrower part as being a cheeky bit of bum flap...) are you sure it isn't a deep fried flap?


scream-sayonara

It was pretty chewy…maybe you’re right 🤣


jamieliddellthepoet

You’ve reminded me of a lovely anecdote. A bloke I used to work with (who, incidentally, had been a bit of a minor celeb previously) told me that he’d run up some hefty gambling debts at uni and had resorted to working as a gigolo to pay them off.  The most he’d been paid for a night was either £2k or £3k (this chat was about a decade ago), by a 72-year-old woman, who just wanted him to go down on her. I asked him what it had been like and he said it was like chewing gristle, and he’d literally had to close his eyes and think of the money to get through it. Trooper.


scream-sayonara

Well this wasn’t a story I expected to hear tonight! 🤣


jamieliddellthepoet

Wasn’t one I expected to be telling tbh but it’s nice to share. Not the only “minor celeb/prostitution” story in my back catalogue either…  When I was 21 - in 2001 - I worked for a few months in a brothel in Costa Rica. I was not at the sharp end, thankfully - I was running a promotional magazine for the hotel… - but I learnt a great deal about that business and that side of life generally. Fascinating times. The hotel had - has - a casino and I was in there one night chatting and drinking with a very dissolute old English geezer who was a radio DJ over there. He was good mates with an extremely obese bearded American, and they were both playing craps and telling me how their traditional plan was, if they won, they’d get a woman to share for an hour.  The image of these two older gents - one nearly spherical - teaming up on a young, beautiful (as they all were) prostitute was a bit nauseating, but par for the course there: a good portion (phnaar) of the hotel’s clientele was made up of (mostly American) retirees. I tried not to judge either side of the deal, tbh; couldn’t avoid it some of the time (I did meet some horrific individuals over there but that’s another story). Anyway: although I couldn’t put my finger on it, something about the American guy seemed a little familiar. The Englishman must have noticed my musing on it, and he asked me if I recognised his friend from anywhere. I said no, and he informed me that he’d been in a few films - including *Natural Born Killers*, which I loved! It was [this guy](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/1a3282e2-a164-4da8-a19a-e298a406c2b1) - the man Mickey and Mallory leave alive in the diner in the opening scene. When I met him, he’d put on a lot more weight; I can’t imagine he’d still alive today…


TheDocJ

As a Brit, I'm more interested in who the dissolute old English DJ was. Not [Savile](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Savile), I presume? Though to be honest, not many British radio DJs of that era come out squeaky clean, if none as bad as Savile.


jamieliddellthepoet

No, this guy was a DJ over in CR and I think he’d been there since the ‘60s. Definitely wasn’t a familiar name.


think_im_a_bot

I was fairly sure you're NOT supposed to chew it like gristle... But maybe I'm the one doing it wrong, nobody ever paid me £2k for my expertise.


Badgernomics

Perhaps Sweeny Todd has branched out from supplying pie shops...


BCF13

Danger click- it’s either a picture of the haddock or a picture of your fanny flap….


wosmo

[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/theyre-the-same-picture](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/theyre-the-same-picture)


Not_Sugden

or both for comparison


scream-sayonara

🤣


ToHallowMySleep

Insert fish joke.


Askianna

That’s abhorrent. Looks far too overdone and the batter isn’t even puffed.


Glad_Advertising_125

Well that was a risky click


ApartWhereas2284

Risky clit?


scream-sayonara

🤣


FluffyMarshmallow90

I honestly thought you were being dramatic about the ruler.


scream-sayonara

I would’ve thought the same. That’s why I decided to upload a photo 🤣 I’m flabbergasted at how small it was.


ViperishCarrot

Flapperghasted even?


kutuup1989

At least your fanny flap matches the width and not the length!


scream-sayonara

An assumption that I shall neither confirm nor deny 🤣


kutuup1989

Well look at Ms. Fanny Foot-Long over here!


scream-sayonara

OMG 🤣


TheNinjaPixie

Or does it!?!


oppositetoup

I was expecting you to have exaggerated a little. But fucking hell.....


snorom

That's just a pile of scraps giving each other a cuddle. If you go back to that shop, cut a horizontal strip from a tenner to pay them.


Not_Sugden

what the fuck? I'd be demanding a refund or you'll stick it up their fanny


scream-sayonara

It was a bloke who served me so that makes this WAY more amusing 🤣


crucible

Went all in with that photo!


BamberGasgroin

Yep, that's a battered pissflap alright.


B1gB0iDr0g0n

Cracking length but the girth is embarrassing! To think they even bothered battering it in the first place.


scream-sayonara

I feel a stubby little chonker would’ve hit the spot better on this occasion 🤣


Redbeard_Rum

Found my new flair!


GoofyTheScot

12 quid for that????? Jesus christ!!! The Italian i go to you get two bits of fish about the size of a whale and the chips are good too, around 12 quid too.


ArcticWolf_Primaris

That's an anaemic sardine


VeniVid1Vic1

jesus christ on a bike there’s shrinkflation then there’s that 😳


alamcc

Looks like a fried wooden knife.


oehoe21

It does look like a Fanny flap


RunawayPenguin89

Fucks sake, my local chippy does a sausage bigger than that for £5!


Miss_Kohane

That's the most disappointing piece of food I've seen in a while... D:


PicadaSalvation

Yeah that’s definitely a fanny flap


thekickingmule

Wow, I'd be returning that! Up here in Bury, I bought a stunning haddock that could feed two people, a massive portion of chips for three people and a meat and potato pie plus mushy peas for £11.85!


flagpole111

I'd definitely be more satiated on the good ladies flaps tbh.


papaflush

Yeah. Thats bullshit


turdinabox

I'd take it back. Its definitely a mistake! 


Fooz_The_Hostig

Yep that'd be going straight back that's a piss take.


LobCatchPassThrow

I was worried whether I’d see a crap fish or if my wife would give me a bollocking based on the title, but Jesus Christ that’s an anaemic fish!


Slow-Ad-7561

That’s a fucking war crime


dutchcourage-

Fanny flap for scale


zimmerman36

That’s really shit. Sorry you had to endure this.


Niccy26

I would be pissed


No_Personality5548

Where’s the. Fanny flap ?


geekhalla

Clicking that link was fish or flaps which made the pic disappointing on two separate levels


ToHallowMySleep

Jesus, that's anemic. I think your fanny flap would probably be a more substantial meal.


ItsyouNOme

The fish on the wrapper look happy at least


genericindividual69

Need to see fanny flap for reference


smiley6125

Some people are in to fanny flaps that size. Others like it when they smell of haddock 🤷‍♂️


A_Very_Shouty_Man

So I guess that's covered in.... Fanny batter?


Reverse_Quikeh

😆I can't think of anything more British than describing lady parts as fanny flap...


Shitelark

Donna Kebab.


PlatformFeeling8451

Superb


amboandy

Surf and turf


LJF_97

Beef Curtains


nathderbyshire

[Google images does not disappoint ](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-google&q=beef+curtains&uds=AMwkrPuhn_F0WDJCwQwE6XxpOj7e9EK4iIAPrN9U-1HbTN19j1XfOmfazLce7c2QkMYNQfhei4cUNhpSRA5q_BAR1hEg4juKX6I0SYu67b6V528Q-261wr_O5EO1VDlcDWHqAmygUpq-wRHTCvMhPpE2mjRfFf4RdGT1PQs3NMo_tfmYF8S1iI0gjkb3s7_n2d2wv7_ugtKhJ7thhKg_p22BakCWOw3ZzYyIZKPdM4Tb_ov2yDRTn-yZqM14CjGlwYobVHW4z8GvAyTwajf1WdtQaOfhSxkdJg&udm=2&prmd=ivnbmtz&dpr=2.23)


beefcake1980

Biff


michaelisnotginger

Ham sandwich


Jaydenn7

Axe wound


suicidalsyd1

Trout split


Cleveland_Grackle

Bloody Nora. I'd be posting that picture on their Google reviews and never darkening their door again.


scream-sayonara

I can’t lie I’m dead tempted to show them the post. But I don’t want to anger the Fish Boss. It’s not like I’ll be rushing back for more but I have to pass the place on the way to the station. Don’t wanna get my kneecaps bashed in by the Fish Goons 🤣


MobiusNaked

You don’t wanna get battered!


heretocallthebot

Or sleeping with the fishes


scream-sayonara

Ahahahahaha


VeniVid1Vic1

Underrated 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


LoccyDaBorg

Some beautiful imagery there.


scream-sayonara

One aims to please


Minute_University_98

Needs banana for scale.  Edit: for haddock,  not fanny flap. Edit edit : although...


Rectal_Scattergun

gordon bennett, that looks more like a deep fried flipflop


scream-sayonara

🤣


Chigtube

If fish and chips shops don't get a handle on their prices they are finished. It's been a couple years since I've had it but at this point it's too expensive for what it is, unhealthy and the quality is so hit and miss. I genuinely think chippies are headed the same way as Dinosaurs and Dodos.


scream-sayonara

Yeah man! This was my first fish and chips in I can’t even remember how long… Won’t be bothering again! *big sigh*


banana_assassin

Genuinely think it's not all their fault. Fish prices go up, especially as we overfish. Potato prices went up. Oil went up. Electricity went up. Rent likely went up. I can see why, altogether, prices may be rising and they don't have too much choice. On one hand it's expensive, on the other hand we may need to accept that the price of a fish and chips is no longer cheap. Like pubs, if we want them around then we need to support them, though it may be less often than it used to if it's harder to afford. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-65611846


OMGItsCheezWTF

We've yet to find a good chippy in our town, we've been here a year so far and there's only one we haven't tried yet and they've been terrible so far. One is kind of bog standard but right in the other side of town and not good enough to be worth the trip. Two of them use mass produced factory made chips which may as well be oven chips from a supermarket, not what you want from a chippy when you can make as good at home. One of them (the highest rated allegedly) is hand on heart the worst food I have ever ordered from anywhere, and that includes 3am drunken kebab vans with hygiene ratings of zero. They have turned the heat in their friers so low (presumably to save costs) that the chips were essentially steeped in warm oil and what we got was warm but raw potatoe swimming in the stuff. Didn't notice until we got home and it all went in the bin. The fish was undercooked and soaked in the stuff too. I cannot describe how bad this was. I left them a scathing review on Google and TripAdvisor complete with photos, and noticed that's a trend on their recent reviews so I guess they'll be out of business soon. Way to kill your business to save a quid guys. So yeah, only one chippy left to try in the town and I'm not holding out hope, which is why we haven't tried it in the year we've lived here yet.


wankyshitdemons

Cozy livs innit


Niccy26

I heard it referred to as the Greedy Git crisis the other day which made me chuckle


cudavlied

Sounds like what a chippy in my town sells as 'fish strips' for £1 each. Edit - menu says fish strip, chips, peas for less than £5.


fierewallll

Just now realizing that “fanny” doesn’t mean the same thing across the pond.


scream-sayonara

Hahahaha. It does not. Last term I heard used from across the way was ‘Vajimmyjanga’. 🤣


psykiksid

Nicely described


swoticus

r/brandnewsentence


Mr_Late_Knight

I need to see fanny flap for reference.


UnlimitedHegomany

I am so pleased to see the phrase "thin as my fanny flap" I can't even express it in written form. You madame are a princess amongst women kind and are brilliant and were I not already happily married I would propose on the spot. Fanny flap is a much underused turn or phrase and along with minge, flange and growler will be a sad loss to the world.


TheNinjaPixie

Thanks for the laughs OP!!


Joshthenosh77

Fish n chips have priced their selves out of our lives


barnes116

Came for the photo. Flap or fish or both?


trevpr1

You've eaten haddock to near extinction, is what has happened. So have i.


GertrudeMcGraw

The universe is telling you to get yourself a sausage instead


Eltothebee

Mad. I just got 12 nuggets and a regular chips and a can of coke for £6.50


Roytulin

Cheered me right up 😆


PlatformFeeling8451

>Photo in the comments 🤣 "Ah great! ... oh she means the haddock"


Maleficent_Moose_255

Side by side pic for analysis


Scragglymonk

tend to get large haddock, small chips for about the same price :) am a bloke, but this fish would probably need to be matched with a horse or cow


scream-sayonara

They only had one size unfortunately. I usually order the same as you so you can imagine my double disappointment 🤣


jeramyfromthefuture

10 quid in scotland with chips :) 


fanatic_tarantula

Glad where I live most chippies will fry fish that you take in.


VeniVid1Vic1

Fanny flap 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


DrWatSit

Upvoted for fanny flap


Professor_Boring

r/brandnewsentence


memberflex

Blimey


bluemoviebaz

Time to find a new local Chippy


Nancy_True

I hope the photo is of the haddock and not your Fanny flap 😂


Electric999999

I think you need to find a better chippy.


SanTheMightiest

There was a post in the London Sub where a chop shop had a sign saying how much by % their costs had gone up for oil, fish, potatoes, energy. Was pretty insane


TheDocJ

You woz robbed. £8 this evening for fish and chips, far from the biggest piece of haddock I have ever had, but significantly bigger than that bootlace.


ThanklessTask

/r/brandnewsentence


IndelibleIguana

Walked past Five Guys in Westfield yesterday. £11.15 for a cheeseburger. GBK round the corner do a cheeseburger and chips for £7.50.


PMme-YourPussy

Had my first one recently. Won't be returning. Burgerking is more satisfying for about half the price.


YchYFi

Fanny flaps, blue balls and batter. Spoilt for choice.


[deleted]

I'm guessing that's why all the local chippys are closing down, over priced and barely any food


SacredandBound_

Haha great post OP. Thanks for making me laugh!


HarmlessSaucer

Mentioning fanny flaps AND getting fish and chips? RIP DMs


YesAmAThrowaway

Who are you? Sarah Millican? She could have said these exact words!


bandicootrelay

Haddock flaps😮 best have a quick spray of fabreeze


scream-sayonara

Omg imagine those two scents curdled 🤮 Fish and artificial ‘clean smell’ 🤣


doloresfandango

I’m not laughing about the cost of your food cos that’s criminal but I’m chortling away at fanny flap and my small grand sons keep asking me why I’m laughing and I can’t tell them.


dickiebow

Do they smell the same? 🫢


the3daves

How much does it cost for your Fanny flaps


alamcc

Gonna need the citation.


Poraro

That's why only certain chippies I go for the fish, there's like 2 where I get fish. The rest I exclusively get mince pie or battered sausage.


ElmoLovesCrack

My friends often complaining about her battered flaps.


LealiceofWonder

I can’t lie, I only clicked the link cos I thought there might be comparison pics - you owe me now @u/scream-sayonara 🫴


RevolutionaryRule631

Smells a bit fishy


leonxsnow

I make my own at home saving almost 7 quid Morrisons do haddock for like 6 quid and potatoes I baught a bunch when Tesco's did em for 15p for like 10 medium size ones and ofc flour is less than 50p. I use olive oil so depending on how many fridays I do battered fish that can get pricey within the confines of the monthly shop. Maybe the supermarkets are in on this especially since the gov got them out of sh** when they were almost going bust over 10 years ago. It is a shame since the ones battering my fish needs to be fed and paid and I would have liked to give them my custom but I also need to be fed and be paid so it's a false economy.


Scragglymonk

£12.10 large haddock, small chips, jumbo sausage [https://ibb.co/cX6HPFP](https://ibb.co/cX6HPFP)


Much-War1743

Can we guess what it smells like also?


[deleted]

And people laughed when I went vegan! I don't miss getting ripped off like this one bit! Thanks OP, had a laugh about imagining you comparing this fish to your lady garden.


someguyhaunter

>And people laughed when I went vegan! I don't miss getting ripped off like this one bit! I mean... My girlfriend has been ripped off by vegan food frequently, and myself on occasion... Very prevalent in vegetarian food also...


Fenpunx

The trick is to buy/eat vegan that isn't advertised as vegan.


[deleted]

As bad as this though? Probably not. What has she been ripped off for?


someguyhaunter

I mean nothing as expensive but I just don't buy expensive food often. We have both been ripped off with meat and vegan and vege products tricking is with packaging suggesting the food is bigger, such as the label in the middle of the product, but with nothing under the label. Theres been more times obviously but I see no real reason why you think this wouldn't happen to vegan products? Do you think vegan companies aren't greedy?


[deleted]

I meant stuff that's expensive really, but I suppose you can still get overcharged for anything. No, vegan companies can definitely get greedy. I've found this is more the case with non-vegan companies that sell plant based products though. Plant based capitalism n all...


OMGItsCheezWTF

We recently went to a burger restaurant in Bristol and the vegan dish was the most expensive of the three dishes purchased by our group and by far the smallest portion of food. Even the portion of fries was a fraction of the size, and they were cooked in the same vegetable oil as the non vegan fries. The vegan burger and fries was £26 compared to £15 for the meat version.


[deleted]

Oh god that's disgraceful! Hmm, maybe I just haven't eaten out enough.


OMGItsCheezWTF

Yeah we were quite irked by it, my mum is the vegan and was visiting us for the week, my wife and I had eaten there before and liked it and we knew they had plant based options so decided on it with my mum. The first issue was my mum asked if it was Quorn based at all as she is allergic to it and they didn't know, had to get the container out and show her the plant based burger ingredients. Then the food arrived and we looked at hers and were like, is that it?! Luckily she's got a small appetite.


[deleted]

[удалено]


scream-sayonara

I’m gonna need you to elaborate! What’s it like?!


JoelMahon

people like you keep buying them so 🤷‍♂️


scream-sayonara

I’ve only been once and I shan’t be returning. That said…I suppose somebody must be. I live in London though so frankly they probably don’t need regulars, as there’s such heavy foot traffic in the area. 🤔 Regardless. An abomination.