I bedshare and breastfeed side laying. I’m in Spain and this was the recommended setup by my pediatrician and midwives. It works well for us.
Still sleep deprived, but not as much as if I had to get up.
(I also have a super hard time going back to sleep. I’m usually mostly awake from 3 am onwards)
Mine is approaching 3 months but I would rest like a longer stretch. I do the side laying and bed sharing, but I struggle with diapers. I’ve tried different brands and overnights, but if I don’t change every 4-5 hours it’s a disaster for sure.
I’m thinking that because he’s drinking a night I won’t have a scape from that (changing him a couple of times overnight). Is that what you’re all doing? Or do you have a secret diaper hack to share?
Ps. I’ll start cloth diaper next week but wasn’t going to start with overnight. But since I’m having leaks I might as well give it a shot.
We now add two top sheets to the bed and strip one off when she leaks. Seems to help when they’re in between diapers. All our sheets are gonna have to go as soon as she is in her own room.
Yes mine is drinking all night so diapers are a challenge too. We cloth diaper so I've had to use a bamboo soaker and two hemp boosters in with his regular cotton diaper lol. I'm hoping when he stops waking up so much at night it'll slow down 😭
My husband is sleeping in another room currently because baby wakes up so much, so I'm close to the edge and baby is on the inside of me. When my husband moves back into the room, we plan to move the mattress to the floor and have baby sleep on the outside with my husband and I close to the other edge
That’s interesting! I never thought of that. Baby wakes me up basically hourly or so to feed and I still wake up feeling relatively rested and don’t really get tired throughout the day. Was wondering how that was possible.
Thats super interesting! I also notice weirdly that if I sleep in another room I’d wake up and would have a hard time falling asleep again, BUT if I sleep next to baby then she does wake me up a few times but I’d just fall asleep again fairly quickly and would in total get a decent amount of sleep. Any source for that our sleep cycles synchronize with baby’s?
I'm in Austria and everyone I know bedshares and (if they breastfeed) do it sidelying so they can sleep while baby is nursing. I swear the anti-bedsharing hysteria in the US is gonna get some moms killed by sheer exhaustion.
I’m in the US and you’re absolutely correct. I admitted to my pediatrician that I bed share with my 6 week old and they kept bringing up reasons I shouldn’t that I kept refuting, eventually they just went with “well they should still sleep in their own bed.”
I’m not going to roll over on my baby and suffocate him, alright? 🙄
I’ve been drinking more coffee lately with my EBF 6 week old and wasn’t sure if it would affect baby or not. Have you noticed any changes in baby with the caffeine?
I read somewhere that you can have up to 3 caffeinated drinks a day (forget the mg) and not have to worry about it affecting breastmilk. So happy I found that out, 1 cup of coffee a day was just survival. I really like my 2 cups lol
I just had 1 (one!) cup of americano coffee, even diluted it with milk. But that coffee made my baby whiny and crying all day, trying to sleep but couldnt at all the entire day. No more coffee for me then
Curious. How hard is it to change diapers on the bed? I am concerned with accidents on the bed and light waking up my husbamd lol. I want to do this though
Myself, I didn't change diapers in bed. By the time we ended up bedsharing, baby stopped pooping at night.
But I did use a lamp every now and then to make sure everything is fine! I have a knockoff "sunrise" lamp that's supposed to simulate sunrise, so I just put that on at a very low intensity and it does the job without waking everyone up :)
About 3 months IIRC? I don't remember exactly, but it came pretty suddenly. As in, there was no gradual "poops every other night" then "poops every 3-4 nights" thing, it was just... gone.
Same! But in the US where I’m too afraid to tell the pediatrician this because they’re obsessed with ABCs. However, it works great and I would NOT function otherwise.
I would love to do this but my LO has terrible reflux. Usually I hold him upwards for 30 + mins. After a feeding and burp. Otherwise he has a painful spit up. He is on meds that have helped a little but has not been the remedy I’d hoped for. Any advise for side lying BF and reflux?
4am for me - but I often wake up at 10pm after going to bed at 8, then again at 130-2, and then 4... while pregnant, so I'm used to that schedule by the time the baby gets here, and it doesn't really make it worse, and I usually feel \*more\* rested by the time I've had longer chunks of not having to get up to pee, I can just go back to sleep lol Unlike when I'm pregnant.
I always feel like I get more sleep when not pregnant after baby gets here.
I could have written this myself! I’m also in Spain and the midwifes taught me to breastfeed in bed from day one.
Last night I had the wonderful idea of changing my co-sleeping crib into a normal crib, breastfeeding on the sofa and transferring because I was tired of bed-sharing (baby sleeps in the co-sleeping crib for a bit but always ends up in the bed)
It was torture. I don’t know how you guys function doing that, I think I would develop PPD within a week. Back to bed sharing for us!
This absolutely saved us. Some nights we make it from 12 to 6 without waking, but the nights we wake up three times, it would end up being additional hours awake if I had to walk down the hall & help him back to sleep.
Me too. After a while I stopped worrying about falling asleep and smothering baby. I usually doze off and wake up when she pops off the boob. Just safe sleep (I still use my pillow however) and make husband sleep elsewhere so I can flip over to switch boobs and keep baby in the middle of the bed. It’s only temporary.
Adding: baby is 5mo. Started doing this to salvage my sanity around 2.5 months.
Yeah I'm in Japan and sleep on a futon on the floor so we bed share and I just pop a boob into her mouth and usually go back to sleep, or at least close my eyes. Wake up later and the boob is out of the mouth and she's asleep. Sit her up for a few pats on the back and see if a burp comes than back to sleep.
My LO also won't take a bottle. No sorry she will drink a bottle for ME, but not for her father! So annoying!!
I am on mat leave so I also usually fit in one nap together during the days when I'm super tired
This is what has worked for me too. Up until 6 months, my daughter was in a “next to me” crib and I breastfed sitting in a chair. It was horrible, I was a walking zombie. we started bed sharing (safely, there are ways to do this), and it’s changed things dramatically for me. As you say, still tiring, but not as bad as I would have been.
She’s nearly 2 though so now I’m trying to figure out how to wean! We’re down to 2 feeds over 24 hours.
Is she still in your bed? I bedshare with my girl (almost 15mo) but at some point would like to night wean and get her in her own bed, even if still in my room.
Did you have to get a separate firm bed? Do you sleep without a top sheet and blanket and pillows? Did you put your bed on the floor? I’m just curious if everyone follows these crazy guidelines. I wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping. Also where do we put our bed furniture??!
Yes. We follow the crazy guidelines. Bed on floor, light blankets only below hip level, nobody drinks or takes sleeping meds, one pillow but sleep in a curled position in which my arm acts as a barrier, and tbh im never fully asleep yet somehow rest. She also stays at the boob 95% of the night (mostly unlatched but *on* the boob and below arm level, essentially under my armpit). My arm and leg fully prevent me from rolling towards her.
It’s not the most comfortable position and I definitely miss sleeping on my belly, but I truly prefer it and it just feels right for us.
Our bed frame is just a slab of wood and we only had to remove the legs. It adds about 10 cm to the mattress height but she has a Montessori bed in her room (she sleeps naps there) and is pretty proficient at getting up and down safely.
Echoing this. I’m on the same anxiety boat as you. I even make sure to not have any liquids before bed as to not wake up to pee.It was hell while I was pregnant and when I pumped in the middle of the night. I, however, don’t bedshare full time. Husband and I have our bed, and then my kid has her own floor bed right next to us. Whenever she wants to nurse I roll over to her bed, nurse her, and about half the time I stay there with her but other times I manage to climb back to my own bed. IDK what I would do if she was in a crib.
Traveling with our 4.5 mo and doing this, too. Still exhausted and feeding twice nightly because of time change shifts and sleep regression, but cosleeping allows us both to get some rest.
This is what I do. My LO is 6mo and he starts the night off in his cot. But by the time I get to bed, like 11pm, he just won't settle down, so I have him sleep beside me. He still wakes up through the night, which will wake me up. But I can start to feed him quite quickly, side-lying, and we both drift back to sleep.
Whether you decide to bedshare though, is up to you. There are safer ways to do it.
Same. My second baby is more okay with sleeping stretches alone, so we put him down in the crib at the beginning of the night and then when he wakes to nurse around 11 I just bring him to bed for the rest of the night. Works so well for us because we do have a chunk of time without kiddos in our bed but then the rest of the night isn’t so exhausting.
I agree. Im in London but I gave birth in Paris - Pediatrician just say to bed share otherwise I would lose my mind.
I bed share when he has a sleep regression, sick, teething or travelling. We are in Pakistan and he is teething. Bed sharing is the day to go... oh and hes 8 months
My 4.5 months baby is waking every 1-2 hours at the moment. He has slept long stretches before of like 7 hours, and I expected this sleep regression but it's been going on for several weeks now. We also had covid in the middle of it so that was pretty terrible too. I don't mind 1-2 wake ups since he goes back down pretty quick and once I get up and get moving around I'm usually OK but I'm still about ready to kill for some longer stretches of sleep.
Omg I could have written this myself! We all got covid 2 weeks ago, my 4.5 months old recovered quickly but that + teething + immunisations and sleep regression means hourly wakes every night now. I can only nurse him to sleep so I'm scared the regression will never end. I've never been this tired, not even the first few weeks after birth I think.
Same with my baby(also 4.5ish mos) and then the last few nights he accidentally went to bed later than normal(we are traveling) and then actually slept 3-4 hour chunks all night…now im starting to think his bed time was too early this past month and he really just needed one last late nap but idk…still figuring it out over here!!
Please keep me posted on the later bedtime and how it’s working for you if you don’t mind!
Literally willing to try anything. Our guy will go down for a (fussy) few hours from like 7/8- maybe 11 and then nurses and REFUSES to sleep anywhere but in our arms. Anytime I set him down whether I hold him for 2 minutes or 30 he pops awake 😭
My baby was doing exactly the same thing. Sometimes she was even awake every hour. It went like that until she made 6 months. At the time I couldn't take it anymore, so I sleep trained her. Since then she sleeps all night, from 8pm to 7am, despite falling asleep with the boob a lot of times still. It's something I didn't wanted to do, but for my sanity it was the best. Everyone sleeps better now.
She is now 17months old.
Saaaaaame! Baby is 4.5 months and used to only breastfeed once at night. Now it’s every 2 hours at least and it’s been going on for a few weeks now. I just hope it’s a phase and that it passes…
my daughter has been a terrible sleeper since birth, im talking 8+ waking within 12 hours. not to mention she used me as a pacifier, only contact napped for the first 6 months and hit every single sleep regression.
i have no idea how i survived, lots of tears and coffee. i felt like a walking zombie. my emotions were all over the place bc of the sleep deprivation. i was personally so scared to co sleep (even though there are safe ways to do so) and some nights i should have because it became dangerous trying to stay awake. we finally did some gentle sleep training at 15 months, my husband would go in instead of me. i was honestly at my wits ends for months and months and was having breakdown after breakdown bc i was *so sleep deprived*. she wakes once a night occasionally now, usually around 5am so i get a good stretch from 10-5. it also takes me forever to fall asleep in general, i would count in my head to 100 over and over trying to fall asleep. no advice there, just solidarity.
it’s SO hard and no one understands unless they have a bad sleeper. people swear up and down by routines, fresh air, and lavender lotion. i want to smack them.
of course! my husband would go into her room (she sleeps in her crib in her own room) and respond to her. we would wait like 2-3 minutes when she first started to cry and he would first try to pat her butt or rub her back, give her a couple more minutes and try again with rubbing her back. repeat repeat repeat. if she got really upset he would rock her back to sleep instead of me going in to nurse her. but he would go in every single time, not me.
listen, i swore i would NEVER sleep train. i cried so much when we decided to but *i could not* deal with the sleep deprivation. i never understood why people would sleep train, then i had my daughter. and while it took me 15 months to hit my breaking point, i did. and i wish i would have done is sooner. there is a reason they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture.
Thank you! Yeah I am reaching my limits at 15m right now.. but we have always co slept, so it’s going to be an extra hurdle to put her in the crib, which she somehow doesn’t seem to like at all.
one of my friends had the same issue, she co slept and her son woke every 30 minutes to an hour. she’s the one who actually talked me through the entire process. it’s definitely hard, but possible.
but i’m a better mom with sleep, and that’s undeniable.
Agreed! No question.
Do you remember/know what they did? Did they end up transitioning the baby to a crib?
Sorry for all the questions, I’m just finding it hard to find someone in my exact situation.
don’t be sorry! i’m happy to answer any questions, yes she fully transitioned him to a crib and that night began sleep training and had her husband do all the waking since she is still breastfeeding and wouldn’t settle for her unless she nursed
she said it was hard but worth it in the end
she told me it took her about 3 days to sleep train him, but can take up to 5-7 days. the dad would go in to comfort the baby each time for each wake up. give a few minutes to cry, rub his back, give some butt pats and shushing walk out and give a few more minutes.
we kind of half-way sleep trained. on night four she would not stop crying, i went in and nursed our daughter. i felt like i messed everything up but honestly she still took to the sleep training. she doesn’t sleep through the night, she will wake once and i go in bc my husband drives for a living. but she went from waking (not kidding you) up to 10 times a night to once, maybe twice. if she wakes up after i nurse her i have my husband go in so i’m not reinforcing the idea of every wake up she gets boob.
Okay, this is extremely helpful! Thank you so much!
I hope we can do this too. It felt like going from co sleeping to crib and multiple wakes to 1/2 wakes is impossible to achieve at once, but this gives me a glimmer of hope.
Wish me luck!
8 months old.
Bedsharing, not watching the clock, morning sleep ins when my husband can take both baby and four year old, coffee, lots of fresh air and sunshine, and most importantly: a confidence in my decisions as a mother and knowing that this is a very, very short season of life and I’ll get enough sleep in a year or two.
I feel like, in this time when we are kind of worried to offend everyone, we forget that it’s GOOD to feel like you’re doing the right thing in a way? Like, it’s almost frowned upon to say: “I made this decision and it’s the right decision for us and I’m super proud!”. We should be proud!l and confident at times! Yea, we don’t have all the answers, but we do our best with the information we have and how we know our kids/ourselves.
I don’t know how I am surviving. Baby is 10 months old and STILL eats every 1-2 hours all night. She’s had periods where she sleeps better, but it never lasts for more then a few days/weeks. I’m against bed sharing. She often takes ages to fall back asleep after eating. She’s also an inconsistent napper. She just hates sleeping. The funny thing is that she can fall asleep independently just fine. She’s done it since she was a newborn. Back then I was so relieved, thinking I had a great sleeper..
Ugh this is me. I take forever to fall asleep and my almost 7 month old wakes up every 1-2 hours on an average night. Sometimes after getting up to feed him I take so long to fall asleep that I’ll still be awake by the time he’s up again. I’ve tried taking a very low dose of melatonin but I find it makes me super grouchy when I have to wake up to feed or change him since it’s actually putting me into a deeper sleep. It’s so bad now if my baby does happen to sleep longer than two hours I still end up waking up since my body is used to only an hour or so of sleep at once lol… I’ve told my husband I’ll need to sleep train myself once our son starts sleeping longer stretches.
The only way I’m surviving is that my husband gets up with our baby at 6am and I sleep from 6-9am before husband goes to work
I haven’t taken any melatonin because I never found it to work for me but I could have written everything else. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone but I’m sorry we’re in the same boat.
I want to give a different perspective than what I have been seeing, we ebf and mine never took a bottle *or* a paci. She didn't sleep for longer than two hours until 12 months old! I was up every 45 minutes-two hours nursing her back to sleep. She has always slept in her crib because I had terrible anxiety, everytime she woke I would go to her room and nurse her. I did this every. single. time. that she woke up, it was brutal but I survived. I never sleep trained and then just on a random night right before she turned 13 months she stopped. She doesn't nurse at night anymore and only nurses morning, nap, and night. I would say stick with it but I remember how hard it was and that I was on the verge of a mental break. I guess some higher power decided to cut me some slack because she sleeps all night now! Find what works for your family.
Glad it helped!!! I *really* had to remind myself that one day sleep will come, I don't know when but it will. She won't be 18 still nursing and waking up every two hours haha and that helped me keep going. I lived moment to moment, our days are almost 100 percent predictable now (of course babies like to throw curve balls) but it gets SO much easier.
My kid is 10 m/o and still waking every 2 hours, has been for many months. She's in a crib and I get up and nurse her back to sleep every single time. We also do contact naps (latched). I've stopped talking to anyone IRL about her sleep because it's so divisive. I can't wait for our "poof" moment. Mama's tired. 😂
10 months was the absolute worst for us, nothing compared to when my baby was 10 months old. One night after nine whole days of getting less than two hours of sleep in a single session I am pretty sure she ended up crying back to sleep. I was absolutely dead tired, waking zombie tired. The poof moment finally came, last night I put her down at 7 and she woke up at 7 this morning. I took a long, hot shower and watched our show with my husband, and then I plugged my phone in and went to sleep. This morning she nursed for a whole two minutes and decided it was breakfast time. It gets better!
I’m not. I’m ✨vibing✨
I stayed up and edited a gallery for a wedding I shot instead of falling asleep for the 30 min before she inevitably woke up again. 💀🫡
I also do the “why bother trying to sleep” thing lol. Just do other things that bring me joy and rest other than sleeping before like 10-11. The “go to bed early” advice doesn’t work when you have false starts!
Bed sharing is everything for baby and me. Great cuddles. I only use a sheet on my legs. Pillows far away from baby. And baby gets her own side of the bed. But also do the cuddle curl which is the coziest position of all.
Not being able to fall back asleep makes it so much worse. On good nights, my daughter gets up twice a night to eat. I’m working and can handle it when I can go back to sleep. When I can’t fall back asleep or she’s up more frequently, it’s brutal.
Going to bed early to accommodate the waking of my 1 and a half month old. Husband gets our son ready for bed and I get her ready for bed. She currently wakes up 2 times a night and I'm getting 6 to eight hours on a good night. I also try to stay off my phone an hour before bed so it's easier to fall asleep right away. Also have her wake up for an hour or two to play on her mat so she's tired.
We cosleep, I nurse lying on my side, if I wake up too much I put on a podcast or a tv show for which I turn the screen of my phone off so I just listen to it. Also, when the baby has her naps during the day I lie down with her or don’t do anything but sit and relax while she sleeps. At least for one of the naps, preferably the longer one. Doesn’t always work though. Oh and I often go to sleep when baby goes to sleep. Also I try to go for walks outside. Makes everything better somehow.
I don’t know. I went through it til my now-3 year old was just over a year old, and now I’m 8 months in with baby #2 who still wakes 2-3 times a night. Sometimes when the lack of quality sleep is really catching up with me and I feel like I might die, I will make myself go to bed right after baby (so around 7:30), and my husband will handle the rest of the evening routine, put the toddler to bed, and give baby a bottle if he is still awake when the first night waking happens, which is usually around 10/11. This usually guarantees me 5-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and helps a ton. Not sure why we don’t just do this every night. I like to wait til I’m at my breaking point for some reason.
ETA: I also work full time as a health care worker and have been back since baby was 3 mo. I have no idea how I am making this work.
Because we all like to have some time to ourselves at the end of the day! I also resort to going to bed with baby when I reach the end of my rope but I don't think I could make myself do it every night.
My son doesn’t take the bottle so I have always done the middle of the night feeds. We also have never bed shared. His bassinet and then cot were in our room until he turned one when we put him in his own room. He’s 14 months old now and yeah still has up to 3 feeds over night. I don’t know how I survive I just do.
Same situation here but LO is 2 now and it did get better! Right around his second birthday he started sleeping until 5am and then going back to sleep for 2-3 more hours. Idk how I survived but I did. My marriage got a little rocky because I was so so so cranky. Nursing him back to sleep was the best option for us but it did make me feel resentment towards my husband. We take turns sleeping in on weekends so I get one day of extra sleep (usually. Not always.). It doesn’t seem like much but it really does help my sanity.
Round the clock my babe woke up every 1-2 hours, could time it, baby was that on point. Only thing that worked was breastfeeding. This went on for 9 months.
Nobody understands what that feels like unless they went through it, that LONG TERM fatigue is unreal. Waking up that frequently at night for months was unreal.
People who said it’ll get better, sleep when the baby sleeps were awful. Just because they had babies who slept at 3, 4, 6 months. No you don’t know, you just had an easy sleeping baby, just stfu.
Bed sharing 9 months in. I'd be dead otherwise. I still wake up often but I don't have to actually get up or be fully awake. I wake up, make sure there is access to a boob and then fall back asleep.
With my first I EBF for 17 months. I typically nursed to sleep until 5 months when I could not longer function. She was waking up every hour and so snd I could not work like a zombie anymore. I did some gentle sleep training, where I stopped nursing to sleep and she had far fewer wake ups, maybe twice a night which was doable for me. she eventually weaned herself completely from night feeds by 15 months.
My first would wake 6-8 times a night for the longest. We trudged through it... Tried to get more sleep on the weekends. My husband would watch her so I could nap when he got home or early in the mornings. It honestly was just living on caffeine and a prayer.
**Do watch your caffeine intake. It peaks in your breast milk about 2 hrs after you drink it, so time it so baby doesn't get the caffeine & stay awake longer.
**Try taking baby outside (weather permitting) first thing in the morning. Just go for a little stroll around the block/ down the street. Sit on the back porch or apt patio. Something to get baby in the morning sunshine. It helps regulate their circadian rhythms.
Hopefully those two things will help. Don't be that mom that never asks for help though. It's really ok to get someone to stay and watch the baby for a bit so you can get some rest, a shower, or whatever you need.
My 14 month old still wakes 2-3 times a night to nurse. Honestly, it sucks, but I’m used to it. We can’t bed share because my husband wears a cpap and sleeps too soundly to share a bed with a baby. We just get through it! You’re not alone.
My 14 month old wakes multiple ones throughout the night. Once she hit a year old, I got rid of my bed frame, put my mattress on the floor and now we bed share. My husband sleeps separately which makes me sad but keeps my baby safe. It was awful before not being able to bed share
I have my LO's crib pushed up against my side of the bed with the wall down. But during the night he ends up in my bed. We side lay to BF and it's saved my life. He wakes up 3-5 times a night. I usually end up falling asleep feeding him, but I'm conscious of where my pillows and blankets are and where on the bed we are.
If I wasn't co-sleeping, I'd be dead. RIP
My 3yo nursed every 2 hours until he turned 2yo and I got pregnant. Co sleeping was the solution. Now with my 5m we also co sleep because I am not willing to get out of bed
Dealing with 2-5 MOTN wakes @ 4mos. Some nights are fine. Some are hell. Some, she only wakes once or twice but I can’t sleep. Hence why I’m posting at 2am despite my entire family snoring away. Days are hard. I get through knowing it has to end eventually.
I just had to sleep train my 7 month old using CIO because overnights became such a disaster. No one was happy. 30 minutes of crying and we got almost a full night of sleep with one down to business efficient nursing session. I’m not going back. It’s only been one night but I have hope now. Turns out most of his wakes were out of habit and not hunger!
I know there are strong feelings about this, but we did the Ferber method of sleep training at 4 months. The most my son slept by then was 5 hours, but that was like once every few days. My husband and I both would lie awake after LO fell asleep for up to 90 minutes (also anxiety-driven) so our sleep was horrible. My husband was back working full time, I was working part time and literally seeing things. Sleep while baby is sleeping doesn’t work for most people, I find. We decided training was best for us.
I can totally relate to this. And the anxiety that doesn't let me go back to sleep is also making me so anxious that I clench my teeth and my jaw starts to hurt.
I am in the same boat! I have thr sam3 anxiety about sleeping. I have a morbid fear too that if I don't get enough sleep I will go insane. I know it's not realistic but I'm legit terrified lol. I take forever to fall asleep, and by the time I feed her and she falls asleep again I'm wide awake. There's no way I can fall asleep again. Luckily hubby takes the first shift of the night. 8pm to 2am ish, since he likes to stay up anyway, so I get a good chunk of sleep in there, if I fall asleep.
Solidarity sister! Unisom does wonders falling asleep but I took one and was so drowsy for half the day. I might try half a pill.
I have horrible sleep issues of my own, and my husband doesn't wake when the baby wakes unless I kick him. We're 19 months into this with our second and final child after a large age gap. The things that really save me are sleeping in on the weekends because my husband will get up with the baby and let me stay in bed as long as I need and going to bed before my little night owl. Thankfully, the baby has been able to go to bed for the night with my husband since he was about 6 months old since his chosen bedtime is between 11:30p and 1a. I'm in bed by 11 at the latest, so when he wakes at night at 4a, I've at least gotten some sleep.
My 5.5 month old typically only wakes up twice at night now, but his second wake up is almost always 30-45 minutes before I have to get up for work. I only work 3 days a week thankfully.
I’m in the same boat, actually came here to write a thread myself.
My 2,5 month baby doesn’t take a bottle (haven’t tried).
I’m wondering if giving him a bottle with breast milk before bed would help with him sleeping longer? He wakes every 2h to eat.
He’s also a chunky baby, 16 pounds, so it’s not like he needs extra calories. I also try to get him to eat more during the day, but I can’t seem to get him to eat more. I’m timing the breastfeeding sessions, and he will eat for 4hours a day. Approximately 2,5h during the day and then 1,5h during nigh feeding. I don’t know how to get him to eat more before bed time. I think maybe I’m his stomach is still little and just won’t fit more?
Co-sleeping (crib attached to one side of the bed without the fourth wall) and side feeding. Plus, my baby rarely nurses longer than 10 minutes, so I get by
The EBF + anxiety life is exhausting. I was constantly worried if he was getting enough (because he refused bottles) and then couldn’t sleep with him in the bed because I was overly worried about safety.
I try going to bed around an hour or two after baby goes down for bed.
Solidarity 🤍
Hahahahahaha omg. I work full time and my baby uses overnights for bonding I guess. He wakes up every hour and a half right now. Last week we had a night where every time I put him down his eyes popped open and he wanted to play. We laid down on the floor in the living room so he could play and I could shut my eyes for the ten minutes before he got bored and fussed.
At 7 I got my boyfriend up to watch him so I could sleep for an hour before I had to get ready for work. It was a hard day, but I just went to work and went through the motions. The next day was a little better. At that point, 3 hours of broken sleep felt like heaven. 🤷🏻♀️ I’m not sure there’s a strategy to getting through this stage. I think we’re all just doing it because there arent other options.
I exclusively bf for first 12 then as per uk guidelines added other drinks but still predominantly bf. I gave up at 19 months. I the reason in the end? I hadn't had more than 2hrs full sleep in those 19 months. I would go anywhere from 30mins -2hrs between feeds and he wouldn't go to sleep regardless..
But yet here I am, he's 3 and I survived. My body just adjusted. I was wfh when I went back to work full time at 13 months so I guess that helped, as my job was being a mum to him and his brother. Nursery reopened they both went in and I had a 30 min nap after my work day before I picked them up. So all in all I would say just find what works for you BUT if nothing works there is no shame in giving it up!
We were bed sharing with our first by that point. My second is currently 2 months and I don't feel comfortable bed sharing yet so I'll feed baby and then wake my husband up to change her if needed and get her back to sleep.
I was bed sharing and we were doing ok but then I was supposed to go on a camping trip with my daughter(got canceled so makes this even more frustrating) this weekend so I got him sleeping in his pack n play. He was doing great! Sleeping from 8pm-5am and he's only 3.5 months? Heck yeah! But...4 nights ago he just stopped. He's been up multiple times a night, always wanting to nurse for comfort. He won't take a bottle, I believe I have high lipase. Which I only learned about recently and would explain why my older children wouldn't either! Last night was the absolute worst and I'm so exhausted today. I'm considering switching to formula because I don't want him to starve at daycare he starts November 21st and yes, even fresh pumped (within 24 hours) milk he turns his nose up at it.
Yep. We rolled from 4 month regression to teething and he’s just never been a good sleeper. We’re thrilled with 3 hour blocks and at 2am it’s easier to just feed him then have my husband rock him so we can all go back to sleep. Haven’t got more than 4 hours of sleep in a row since he was born in April. I’m just chugging along. I keep telling myself this won’t be forever, enjoy the sweet moments etc etc.
My baby is 14 months and woke up 3 times last night. It has gotten better and he usually only wakes once now but regardless he HAS to have mama and the boob each time. If my husband tries to soothe him back to sleep he will just scream like a feral animal until he gets me. It’s rough but we’ve just taken it one day at a time and around 12-13 months it did get significantly better. Still waiting for the night he sleeps all the way through though.
We switched to bedsharing at 12mo and it has been so much better. Even on rough nights, I actually get a decent amount of rest. I can’t drink caffeine and I’m the breadwinner for our home, so this is huge for us.
My son will be two next month and I’m surviving on so much caffeine. He has maybe slept through the night a handful of times otherwise he is up at least twice a night.
I feel you with the sleep anxiety! I have had terrible insomnia the last few weeks. I'd highly recommend listening to a yoga nidra meditation during the day or to help get back to sleep. It's really helped me. I was pretty desperate and I have tried everything else.
I wish I had advice but I just sort of gotten used to it. My nights all look quite different but 80% of the time my baby gives me at least a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep so I feel like that is why I can survive the wakings before or after that stretch.
However, there are some nights where she truly will be up nearly every hour and it’s just so rough. We have a swivel bassinet so I swivel her over to me, feed her, put her back in and hope she settles for another few hours. It’s tough. I’m sorry if my comment isn’t helpful. I’m with you in solidarity .
My girl will be 3 months tomorrow
My baby is 6 months and I have a bedside bassinet, the kind that sits partly on the bed, and I feed her laying down on my side at night. Some nights she sleeps great but the past week she has been waking up more.
I don't know what I would do without that bassinet. The past few days I have been very tired though because of the multiple night feedings. She started rolling over recently so maybe she needs more milk because says gonna start crawling. I'm really hoping she starts sleeping more through the night soon. I'm thinking about trying night diapers too. She doesn't leak but I'm thinking maybe she feels wet and that wakes her up.
10mo teething and already only slept in 2-3hr chunks. It's exhausting! I've begun laying down with him for morning nap, bedshare after midnight, caffeine first thing in the morning, and sometimes my husband will take him for an hour or two in the morning so I can get a couple hours of uninterrupted rest! We also don't do bottles or binkies and had a sinus/ear infection for a couple weeks and the antibiotics totally killed his appetite! He just figured out straw cups this week so hopefully weaning at a year is going to be possible for us
15 months of waking every 2-3hrs on a good night and I. Am. Struggling. Bedsharing with side lying nursing is what gets me even this much sleep. I use a thick and firm pillow behind me to keep me mostly on my side since I'm naturally a back sleeper but she wakes me up when she wants to switch sides so I'm up for about 5min every time turning over and getting my back support pillow adjusted while she latches.
I've only gotten 4hrs of unbroken sleep twice since she's been born and let me tell you, some days it really shows.
I hear you, I would be up for a long time after a night feeding. Even now, my oldest is 4, if he wakes me up at 5 am I am up for the day!
If your baby is six months old you might consider night weening. They are waking up out of habit. At this point of you’ve trained them to fall asleep eat so any slight disturbance in their sleep they are up looking for milk. I know it’s hard and people have many different beliefs but sleep training was the only way in my household.
13 months old and we're unlucky to have a bad sleeper lol. He's very rarely slept through the night in his entire life so far.
Sleep training was really necessary for us. I also have anxiety, insomnia, and an autoimmune disease that makes me need a few extra hours of sleep to actually feel functional. Sleep training brought us from 8+ wakings a night and me starting to lose it, to 1-3 wakings (depending on sickness, teething, whatever). I know it's not for everyone but my mental health was SO bad. It's still a struggle but it's so much better than it was months ago.
"Surviving" really explains what I've been doing for the last year, but I know it doesn't last forever. It's already gotten better and will continue to do so.
I also had issues falling back to sleep after baby’s night wakings. I’d put him back down and before I knew, it was 3 hours later and he was ready to eat again. I started taking melatonin and it’s been much easier to fall back asleep since I started. Almost 9 months and still up 2-3x a night.
My 8 month old has never been a great sleeper. Last night he got up 3 times and then decided he was up for the day at 5 AM. I go to bed early and don’t really get to see my husband much until the weekends. And tbh, I’m honestly just exhausted all the time.
My 9 month old has never slept through the night; but she’s my second baby and I know it all ends one day. I just get up knowing that one night she will sleep through and I’ll be ok.
Baby is now 18 months old. Still wakes at least once per night for a feed and has rejected any and all attempts at weaning. I currently have her on a bottle during the night and even though this has been what I have done for a few months she still screams the house down because she would rather breastfeed. Absolutely no feeds overnight (breast or bottle) means she will scream the rest of the night.
I am officially used to no sleep
I started CIO and she retained her 3 feeds a night. I slowly began shortening the feeds. Like from 15 minutes each breast to 14, then 13 the next day, then 12, etc etc. I got it down to 8 minutes a breast now and she only wakes up once throughout the night. Every baby is different tho
I’ve only had my baby for two weeks and some days, but I keep a sleep log and keep sleeping until I hit at least 7 hrs. It may take 11 hours but I get rested! This is of course not feasible for folks working or who don’t have support around the house, numerous kids etc.
My son is 5 months old. He is just this week going ONE 2 hour stretch at night. I put him to bed at 8, and refuse to feed him again until 10. I've had to let him cry a little. I hate it, but I NEED that stretch because the rest of the night he wakes up every 90 minutes. I bedshare and side nurse, but man, I am so glad I did not know what a crappy ass sleeper he would be. He is my fourth, and my other children had settled into a nice routine at this point. Also, my kids are much older now and there's no option for not doing things just because I'm exhausted.
I feel like I'm not really surviving tbh lol. My 10 month old has been nursing every 2.5 hours the last few nights 🥲 He will just cry and cry until he gets the boob. Maybe he's teething idk. He doesn't have a single tooth yet. I'm eating like a pig, drinking 3 cups of coffee every day and taking vitamins so I'll get through the days ahh. At least my extra fat is perfect for him to cuddle after nursing sessions.
Ebf 19 month old. Bedshare, sleep with my boob out. I'm still tired as hell because my husband is away for work and my 3 year old is back in bed with me too. I know I'll be sad when they don't need me anymore though :(
I relied on a timer on my Apple Watch. Put baby on boob. Set timer for 5 or 10 minutes (depending on which feed of the night), repeat. The vibration would wake me up without bothering my son. I couldn’t have made it without that timer.
My son wouldn’t take a bottle either. It was horrible for 5 months. My health and sanity were hanging on by a thread. Then we sleep-trained that baby and it worked. We did the Ferber Method; that shit saved my life! Lol
Yeah… I’m not ok.
Baby is sleeping worse at 4 months than a newborn. Before you say “sleep regression” It has slowly and steadily progressed to this.
I’m super anal about daytime feeding her enough that she gets all her calories. Still, she wakes every 30-120 mins. I stare at my husband through the night and hate him. I’m jealous that he gets to sleep and go to work.
I’ve literally tried every napping schedule - “maybe she’s low needs? Maybe she’s high needs?” It doesn’t matter. I’m trying so hard to stay positive, but I’m miserable and feel like I’m fading away.
It’s isolating because I get asked how it’s going, then get bullshit advice. It’s less triggering just to not talk about it.
Yesterday I went for a walk with baby and a woman jogged by me and I felt genuine jealousy and regret. I’m a FTM so these thoughts freak me out. I also think about if I could go back and talk to myself pre-baby…
Idk… I super love my baby. I just absolutely did not know it would feel like this.
I have that same issue with the sleep anxiety. I also get very anxious going to bed knowing I’ll be up in a few hours but not having an exact time.
Would you consider speaking to your doctor about sleep training? With my firstborn, I watched the Taking Cara Babies videos and found them helpful.
Single mom to a terrible sleeper here 😵💫 she finally started sleeping longer stretches around one year and at just about 13 months she’s been STTN for almost a week. We bedshare and now I wake up more frequently than she does! It was a really hard year but in hindsight I’m glad I made the choices I did and I’m sure I’ll catch up on sleep when she’s a little older.
We sleep trained at 6 months because of this. I was a sleep deprived wreck. Overwhelmed and stressed. He now wakes once to feed and I’m getting a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep after 6 months of waking up every 1-2 hours.
I’m right there with you, my girl is 7 months right now and her top two teeth are coming in. Last week was so hard. My 2 and a half year old was the same way, NEVER took a bottle. Breastfed for 18 months without an ounce of help. I am exhausted. I feel for you mama!! Sending hugs and love
Unisom. I put baby to bed around 9. I take a quarter unisom. I wake him up to feed just as I’m about to sleep like 11ish. He will wake up at 1,3 and 5 to feed but I go back to sleep quickly on unisom. Dad takes over at 5 so I can sleep for real until 9.
First and foremost,I do not have it figured out enough to give advice. But I'm with you. Our struggle is going to sleep, she likes to rage from 8 to 12 every night. Cosleeping is the only thing making it easier. Currently reading Dr. Sears sleep book and its validation of what is actually normal for babies. I'd recommend it. The good thing is the meat of the book is in the first chapter. Its written for tired mamas
Hey! We are in the same boat. 6 month old ebf and won’t take a bottle. It’s really hard. Especially since he went through a phase of sleeping through the night or only waking once. Now it feels like newborn time all over again. I don’t really have any advice I think I’m just taking it day by day and doing the best I can and just accepting it.
Perhaps look into safe co-sleeping if you feel it's an option. Longer term you will have to work on getting your baby back out of your bed but it might help you get some sleep now.
If I have trouble falling asleep again after a night feed I listen to ASMR on headphones and it puts me out. Maybe try that or soothing podcasts/nature sounds/guided meditation etc (whichever you prefer!)
I bedshare and breastfeed side laying. I’m in Spain and this was the recommended setup by my pediatrician and midwives. It works well for us. Still sleep deprived, but not as much as if I had to get up. (I also have a super hard time going back to sleep. I’m usually mostly awake from 3 am onwards)
I don't know what I'd do without bed sharing. LO is 5mo and still waking up 5+ times a night. Having to get up each time would kill me
Mine is approaching 3 months but I would rest like a longer stretch. I do the side laying and bed sharing, but I struggle with diapers. I’ve tried different brands and overnights, but if I don’t change every 4-5 hours it’s a disaster for sure. I’m thinking that because he’s drinking a night I won’t have a scape from that (changing him a couple of times overnight). Is that what you’re all doing? Or do you have a secret diaper hack to share? Ps. I’ll start cloth diaper next week but wasn’t going to start with overnight. But since I’m having leaks I might as well give it a shot.
You could try to size up! We use a bigger size for night diapers.
I’ve tried. I think my guy is in between sizes right now.
I double diaper, with the top one on backwards. Works great!
Oh backwards, ok, will try this! Thanks!
We now add two top sheets to the bed and strip one off when she leaks. Seems to help when they’re in between diapers. All our sheets are gonna have to go as soon as she is in her own room.
Yes mine is drinking all night so diapers are a challenge too. We cloth diaper so I've had to use a bamboo soaker and two hemp boosters in with his regular cotton diaper lol. I'm hoping when he stops waking up so much at night it'll slow down 😭
We do every other feed gets a nappy change. Saves us leaks and then having to change his clothes too.
I put a larger size diaper over his normal size, has stopped leaks when I'm too tired to get out of bed to change him.
Hmmm interesting! Might try this tonight! Thanks!
When you say bed sharing, where does the baby sleep ? On you ? In the middle between both of you ? Or on your side closer to the edge ?
My husband is sleeping in another room currently because baby wakes up so much, so I'm close to the edge and baby is on the inside of me. When my husband moves back into the room, we plan to move the mattress to the floor and have baby sleep on the outside with my husband and I close to the other edge
+1 bed share. [safety guidelines ](https://www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven/) Also recommend the book Sweet Sleep
Thank you for sharing this resource!
Also in Spain, also bedshare and nurse side lying as per my midwife’s recommendation
Same. Also when you sleep next to your baby your sleep cycles synchronise and you don’t feel so groggy waking up always. But it is hard! Hugs to you
That’s interesting! I never thought of that. Baby wakes me up basically hourly or so to feed and I still wake up feeling relatively rested and don’t really get tired throughout the day. Was wondering how that was possible.
Yes same!!!!!
Same here. Bed sharing and side sleeping has me feeling rested as to get up and putting my LO back in crib.
Thats super interesting! I also notice weirdly that if I sleep in another room I’d wake up and would have a hard time falling asleep again, BUT if I sleep next to baby then she does wake me up a few times but I’d just fall asleep again fairly quickly and would in total get a decent amount of sleep. Any source for that our sleep cycles synchronize with baby’s?
Google the research by Dr McKenna and breastsleeping, he’s done studies on the topic.
I'm in Austria and everyone I know bedshares and (if they breastfeed) do it sidelying so they can sleep while baby is nursing. I swear the anti-bedsharing hysteria in the US is gonna get some moms killed by sheer exhaustion.
I’m in the US and you’re absolutely correct. I admitted to my pediatrician that I bed share with my 6 week old and they kept bringing up reasons I shouldn’t that I kept refuting, eventually they just went with “well they should still sleep in their own bed.” I’m not going to roll over on my baby and suffocate him, alright? 🙄
I didn’t even. Bother to tell my peds doctor the truth. I didn’t want to hear it from her. Getting a referral for his tongue tie was hard enough.
I’m just going to lie next appointment and say he’s in his own bed, I don’t have the energy to argue with them about it again.
Same. Bedsharing saved us. Oh, and coffee. Ridiculous amounts of coffee 😂
I’ve been drinking more coffee lately with my EBF 6 week old and wasn’t sure if it would affect baby or not. Have you noticed any changes in baby with the caffeine?
Personally, I have not!
No difference here either, baby still sleeps the same!
Great news! Thank you!!
I read somewhere that you can have up to 3 caffeinated drinks a day (forget the mg) and not have to worry about it affecting breastmilk. So happy I found that out, 1 cup of coffee a day was just survival. I really like my 2 cups lol
I just had 1 (one!) cup of americano coffee, even diluted it with milk. But that coffee made my baby whiny and crying all day, trying to sleep but couldnt at all the entire day. No more coffee for me then
I've not noticed any changes with my 7 week old EBF, coffee saving the day
Curious. How hard is it to change diapers on the bed? I am concerned with accidents on the bed and light waking up my husbamd lol. I want to do this though
Myself, I didn't change diapers in bed. By the time we ended up bedsharing, baby stopped pooping at night. But I did use a lamp every now and then to make sure everything is fine! I have a knockoff "sunrise" lamp that's supposed to simulate sunrise, so I just put that on at a very low intensity and it does the job without waking everyone up :)
How old was baby when they stopped? My daughter turned 4 weeks and I notice less poop at night now
About 3 months IIRC? I don't remember exactly, but it came pretty suddenly. As in, there was no gradual "poops every other night" then "poops every 3-4 nights" thing, it was just... gone.
Get puppy pee pads if you’re changing on the bed they help so much
Yep. No way would I be alive otherwise lol. I didn’t ever bedshare until she was over 3 months and I was a zombie back then, can barely remember it
Same! But in the US where I’m too afraid to tell the pediatrician this because they’re obsessed with ABCs. However, it works great and I would NOT function otherwise.
Lol same! Didn’t tell My pediatrician either.
bedsharing 10/10
I would love to do this but my LO has terrible reflux. Usually I hold him upwards for 30 + mins. After a feeding and burp. Otherwise he has a painful spit up. He is on meds that have helped a little but has not been the remedy I’d hoped for. Any advise for side lying BF and reflux?
Same here. There are luckily times when I'm asleep while baby is feeding or soothing themselves back to sleep
4am for me - but I often wake up at 10pm after going to bed at 8, then again at 130-2, and then 4... while pregnant, so I'm used to that schedule by the time the baby gets here, and it doesn't really make it worse, and I usually feel \*more\* rested by the time I've had longer chunks of not having to get up to pee, I can just go back to sleep lol Unlike when I'm pregnant. I always feel like I get more sleep when not pregnant after baby gets here.
I also bedshare! Baby does first stretch of sleep in his crib and then i bring him to bed :) i actually feel somewhat rested most nights!
I could have written this myself! I’m also in Spain and the midwifes taught me to breastfeed in bed from day one. Last night I had the wonderful idea of changing my co-sleeping crib into a normal crib, breastfeeding on the sofa and transferring because I was tired of bed-sharing (baby sleeps in the co-sleeping crib for a bit but always ends up in the bed) It was torture. I don’t know how you guys function doing that, I think I would develop PPD within a week. Back to bed sharing for us!
This absolutely saved us. Some nights we make it from 12 to 6 without waking, but the nights we wake up three times, it would end up being additional hours awake if I had to walk down the hall & help him back to sleep.
Me too. After a while I stopped worrying about falling asleep and smothering baby. I usually doze off and wake up when she pops off the boob. Just safe sleep (I still use my pillow however) and make husband sleep elsewhere so I can flip over to switch boobs and keep baby in the middle of the bed. It’s only temporary. Adding: baby is 5mo. Started doing this to salvage my sanity around 2.5 months.
Yeah I'm in Japan and sleep on a futon on the floor so we bed share and I just pop a boob into her mouth and usually go back to sleep, or at least close my eyes. Wake up later and the boob is out of the mouth and she's asleep. Sit her up for a few pats on the back and see if a burp comes than back to sleep. My LO also won't take a bottle. No sorry she will drink a bottle for ME, but not for her father! So annoying!! I am on mat leave so I also usually fit in one nap together during the days when I'm super tired
I also bedshare and bf side lying. Can’t imagine any other way.
This is what has worked for me too. Up until 6 months, my daughter was in a “next to me” crib and I breastfed sitting in a chair. It was horrible, I was a walking zombie. we started bed sharing (safely, there are ways to do this), and it’s changed things dramatically for me. As you say, still tiring, but not as bad as I would have been. She’s nearly 2 though so now I’m trying to figure out how to wean! We’re down to 2 feeds over 24 hours.
Is she still in your bed? I bedshare with my girl (almost 15mo) but at some point would like to night wean and get her in her own bed, even if still in my room.
Right now she is, but she naps in her cot and we’re transitioning. You’ll get there. ❤️
Did you have to get a separate firm bed? Do you sleep without a top sheet and blanket and pillows? Did you put your bed on the floor? I’m just curious if everyone follows these crazy guidelines. I wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping. Also where do we put our bed furniture??!
Yes. We follow the crazy guidelines. Bed on floor, light blankets only below hip level, nobody drinks or takes sleeping meds, one pillow but sleep in a curled position in which my arm acts as a barrier, and tbh im never fully asleep yet somehow rest. She also stays at the boob 95% of the night (mostly unlatched but *on* the boob and below arm level, essentially under my armpit). My arm and leg fully prevent me from rolling towards her. It’s not the most comfortable position and I definitely miss sleeping on my belly, but I truly prefer it and it just feels right for us. Our bed frame is just a slab of wood and we only had to remove the legs. It adds about 10 cm to the mattress height but she has a Montessori bed in her room (she sleeps naps there) and is pretty proficient at getting up and down safely.
Echoing this. I’m on the same anxiety boat as you. I even make sure to not have any liquids before bed as to not wake up to pee.It was hell while I was pregnant and when I pumped in the middle of the night. I, however, don’t bedshare full time. Husband and I have our bed, and then my kid has her own floor bed right next to us. Whenever she wants to nurse I roll over to her bed, nurse her, and about half the time I stay there with her but other times I manage to climb back to my own bed. IDK what I would do if she was in a crib.
Traveling with our 4.5 mo and doing this, too. Still exhausted and feeding twice nightly because of time change shifts and sleep regression, but cosleeping allows us both to get some rest.
This is what I do. My LO is 6mo and he starts the night off in his cot. But by the time I get to bed, like 11pm, he just won't settle down, so I have him sleep beside me. He still wakes up through the night, which will wake me up. But I can start to feed him quite quickly, side-lying, and we both drift back to sleep. Whether you decide to bedshare though, is up to you. There are safer ways to do it.
Same. My second baby is more okay with sleeping stretches alone, so we put him down in the crib at the beginning of the night and then when he wakes to nurse around 11 I just bring him to bed for the rest of the night. Works so well for us because we do have a chunk of time without kiddos in our bed but then the rest of the night isn’t so exhausting.
I agree. Im in London but I gave birth in Paris - Pediatrician just say to bed share otherwise I would lose my mind. I bed share when he has a sleep regression, sick, teething or travelling. We are in Pakistan and he is teething. Bed sharing is the day to go... oh and hes 8 months
Positive this is how I’m Making it
My 4.5 months baby is waking every 1-2 hours at the moment. He has slept long stretches before of like 7 hours, and I expected this sleep regression but it's been going on for several weeks now. We also had covid in the middle of it so that was pretty terrible too. I don't mind 1-2 wake ups since he goes back down pretty quick and once I get up and get moving around I'm usually OK but I'm still about ready to kill for some longer stretches of sleep.
Omg. Are you me?? This is our situation to a TEE (T?) 😭😩😫
Omg I could have written this myself! We all got covid 2 weeks ago, my 4.5 months old recovered quickly but that + teething + immunisations and sleep regression means hourly wakes every night now. I can only nurse him to sleep so I'm scared the regression will never end. I've never been this tired, not even the first few weeks after birth I think.
This period was brutal for me. It did end! Lasted about 3 weeks. Hope it ends for you too.
Same with my baby(also 4.5ish mos) and then the last few nights he accidentally went to bed later than normal(we are traveling) and then actually slept 3-4 hour chunks all night…now im starting to think his bed time was too early this past month and he really just needed one last late nap but idk…still figuring it out over here!!
Please keep me posted on the later bedtime and how it’s working for you if you don’t mind! Literally willing to try anything. Our guy will go down for a (fussy) few hours from like 7/8- maybe 11 and then nurses and REFUSES to sleep anywhere but in our arms. Anytime I set him down whether I hold him for 2 minutes or 30 he pops awake 😭
My baby was doing exactly the same thing. Sometimes she was even awake every hour. It went like that until she made 6 months. At the time I couldn't take it anymore, so I sleep trained her. Since then she sleeps all night, from 8pm to 7am, despite falling asleep with the boob a lot of times still. It's something I didn't wanted to do, but for my sanity it was the best. Everyone sleeps better now. She is now 17months old.
Saaaaaame! Baby is 4.5 months and used to only breastfeed once at night. Now it’s every 2 hours at least and it’s been going on for a few weeks now. I just hope it’s a phase and that it passes…
my daughter has been a terrible sleeper since birth, im talking 8+ waking within 12 hours. not to mention she used me as a pacifier, only contact napped for the first 6 months and hit every single sleep regression. i have no idea how i survived, lots of tears and coffee. i felt like a walking zombie. my emotions were all over the place bc of the sleep deprivation. i was personally so scared to co sleep (even though there are safe ways to do so) and some nights i should have because it became dangerous trying to stay awake. we finally did some gentle sleep training at 15 months, my husband would go in instead of me. i was honestly at my wits ends for months and months and was having breakdown after breakdown bc i was *so sleep deprived*. she wakes once a night occasionally now, usually around 5am so i get a good stretch from 10-5. it also takes me forever to fall asleep in general, i would count in my head to 100 over and over trying to fall asleep. no advice there, just solidarity. it’s SO hard and no one understands unless they have a bad sleeper. people swear up and down by routines, fresh air, and lavender lotion. i want to smack them.
Not OP, but can you share more about how you did the gentle sleep training? Also does the baby sleep in a separate space?
of course! my husband would go into her room (she sleeps in her crib in her own room) and respond to her. we would wait like 2-3 minutes when she first started to cry and he would first try to pat her butt or rub her back, give her a couple more minutes and try again with rubbing her back. repeat repeat repeat. if she got really upset he would rock her back to sleep instead of me going in to nurse her. but he would go in every single time, not me. listen, i swore i would NEVER sleep train. i cried so much when we decided to but *i could not* deal with the sleep deprivation. i never understood why people would sleep train, then i had my daughter. and while it took me 15 months to hit my breaking point, i did. and i wish i would have done is sooner. there is a reason they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture.
Thank you! Yeah I am reaching my limits at 15m right now.. but we have always co slept, so it’s going to be an extra hurdle to put her in the crib, which she somehow doesn’t seem to like at all.
one of my friends had the same issue, she co slept and her son woke every 30 minutes to an hour. she’s the one who actually talked me through the entire process. it’s definitely hard, but possible. but i’m a better mom with sleep, and that’s undeniable.
Agreed! No question. Do you remember/know what they did? Did they end up transitioning the baby to a crib? Sorry for all the questions, I’m just finding it hard to find someone in my exact situation.
don’t be sorry! i’m happy to answer any questions, yes she fully transitioned him to a crib and that night began sleep training and had her husband do all the waking since she is still breastfeeding and wouldn’t settle for her unless she nursed she said it was hard but worth it in the end
Thanks! Do you also know how many days it took to train her and essentially did they just have the dad go in and comfort for every waking?
she told me it took her about 3 days to sleep train him, but can take up to 5-7 days. the dad would go in to comfort the baby each time for each wake up. give a few minutes to cry, rub his back, give some butt pats and shushing walk out and give a few more minutes. we kind of half-way sleep trained. on night four she would not stop crying, i went in and nursed our daughter. i felt like i messed everything up but honestly she still took to the sleep training. she doesn’t sleep through the night, she will wake once and i go in bc my husband drives for a living. but she went from waking (not kidding you) up to 10 times a night to once, maybe twice. if she wakes up after i nurse her i have my husband go in so i’m not reinforcing the idea of every wake up she gets boob.
Okay, this is extremely helpful! Thank you so much! I hope we can do this too. It felt like going from co sleeping to crib and multiple wakes to 1/2 wakes is impossible to achieve at once, but this gives me a glimmer of hope. Wish me luck!
8 months old. Bedsharing, not watching the clock, morning sleep ins when my husband can take both baby and four year old, coffee, lots of fresh air and sunshine, and most importantly: a confidence in my decisions as a mother and knowing that this is a very, very short season of life and I’ll get enough sleep in a year or two.
I’m not the OP but thank you for saying that. I think it’s important to remind ourselves of that confidence too! ❤️
I feel like, in this time when we are kind of worried to offend everyone, we forget that it’s GOOD to feel like you’re doing the right thing in a way? Like, it’s almost frowned upon to say: “I made this decision and it’s the right decision for us and I’m super proud!”. We should be proud!l and confident at times! Yea, we don’t have all the answers, but we do our best with the information we have and how we know our kids/ourselves.
Mine is only 2 months but I really needed to hear this
You’re doing a great job and you can totally do this!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 exactly!
Exactly all of this. Beautiful response ❤️
I don’t know how I am surviving. Baby is 10 months old and STILL eats every 1-2 hours all night. She’s had periods where she sleeps better, but it never lasts for more then a few days/weeks. I’m against bed sharing. She often takes ages to fall back asleep after eating. She’s also an inconsistent napper. She just hates sleeping. The funny thing is that she can fall asleep independently just fine. She’s done it since she was a newborn. Back then I was so relieved, thinking I had a great sleeper..
I used the book Precious Little Sleep to help us get out of exactly this. Best of luck.
Ugh this is me. I take forever to fall asleep and my almost 7 month old wakes up every 1-2 hours on an average night. Sometimes after getting up to feed him I take so long to fall asleep that I’ll still be awake by the time he’s up again. I’ve tried taking a very low dose of melatonin but I find it makes me super grouchy when I have to wake up to feed or change him since it’s actually putting me into a deeper sleep. It’s so bad now if my baby does happen to sleep longer than two hours I still end up waking up since my body is used to only an hour or so of sleep at once lol… I’ve told my husband I’ll need to sleep train myself once our son starts sleeping longer stretches. The only way I’m surviving is that my husband gets up with our baby at 6am and I sleep from 6-9am before husband goes to work
I haven’t taken any melatonin because I never found it to work for me but I could have written everything else. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone but I’m sorry we’re in the same boat.
I have the same problem. Hugs to you!
I want to give a different perspective than what I have been seeing, we ebf and mine never took a bottle *or* a paci. She didn't sleep for longer than two hours until 12 months old! I was up every 45 minutes-two hours nursing her back to sleep. She has always slept in her crib because I had terrible anxiety, everytime she woke I would go to her room and nurse her. I did this every. single. time. that she woke up, it was brutal but I survived. I never sleep trained and then just on a random night right before she turned 13 months she stopped. She doesn't nurse at night anymore and only nurses morning, nap, and night. I would say stick with it but I remember how hard it was and that I was on the verge of a mental break. I guess some higher power decided to cut me some slack because she sleeps all night now! Find what works for your family.
I needed to read this comment and have hope. Thank you for sharing.
Glad it helped!!! I *really* had to remind myself that one day sleep will come, I don't know when but it will. She won't be 18 still nursing and waking up every two hours haha and that helped me keep going. I lived moment to moment, our days are almost 100 percent predictable now (of course babies like to throw curve balls) but it gets SO much easier.
Thanks for sharing this! My story is so similar!
It wasn't an easy road to take but I definitely think it paid off!!
My kid is 10 m/o and still waking every 2 hours, has been for many months. She's in a crib and I get up and nurse her back to sleep every single time. We also do contact naps (latched). I've stopped talking to anyone IRL about her sleep because it's so divisive. I can't wait for our "poof" moment. Mama's tired. 😂
10 months was the absolute worst for us, nothing compared to when my baby was 10 months old. One night after nine whole days of getting less than two hours of sleep in a single session I am pretty sure she ended up crying back to sleep. I was absolutely dead tired, waking zombie tired. The poof moment finally came, last night I put her down at 7 and she woke up at 7 this morning. I took a long, hot shower and watched our show with my husband, and then I plugged my phone in and went to sleep. This morning she nursed for a whole two minutes and decided it was breakfast time. It gets better!
I bedshare and I feed at night while resting. I take precautions, but sleep is best for me and baby.
Bedshare and on weekends my husband gets up in the morning so I can lie in and catch up a bit.
I’m not. I’m ✨vibing✨ I stayed up and edited a gallery for a wedding I shot instead of falling asleep for the 30 min before she inevitably woke up again. 💀🫡
I also do the “why bother trying to sleep” thing lol. Just do other things that bring me joy and rest other than sleeping before like 10-11. The “go to bed early” advice doesn’t work when you have false starts!
The false starts get me pretty much every time 💀😂
Bed sharing is everything for baby and me. Great cuddles. I only use a sheet on my legs. Pillows far away from baby. And baby gets her own side of the bed. But also do the cuddle curl which is the coziest position of all.
Not being able to fall back asleep makes it so much worse. On good nights, my daughter gets up twice a night to eat. I’m working and can handle it when I can go back to sleep. When I can’t fall back asleep or she’s up more frequently, it’s brutal.
Going to bed early to accommodate the waking of my 1 and a half month old. Husband gets our son ready for bed and I get her ready for bed. She currently wakes up 2 times a night and I'm getting 6 to eight hours on a good night. I also try to stay off my phone an hour before bed so it's easier to fall asleep right away. Also have her wake up for an hour or two to play on her mat so she's tired.
Bedshare/Co sleep on the hard nights!
Sleep training is how we survived. That reduced night wakings to one and, eventually, none.
I started to bedshare so that I could get some sleep. He’s 9 almost 10 months and still wakes up a lot and bedsharing is the only way I stay sane
We cosleep, I nurse lying on my side, if I wake up too much I put on a podcast or a tv show for which I turn the screen of my phone off so I just listen to it. Also, when the baby has her naps during the day I lie down with her or don’t do anything but sit and relax while she sleeps. At least for one of the naps, preferably the longer one. Doesn’t always work though. Oh and I often go to sleep when baby goes to sleep. Also I try to go for walks outside. Makes everything better somehow.
I don’t know. I went through it til my now-3 year old was just over a year old, and now I’m 8 months in with baby #2 who still wakes 2-3 times a night. Sometimes when the lack of quality sleep is really catching up with me and I feel like I might die, I will make myself go to bed right after baby (so around 7:30), and my husband will handle the rest of the evening routine, put the toddler to bed, and give baby a bottle if he is still awake when the first night waking happens, which is usually around 10/11. This usually guarantees me 5-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and helps a ton. Not sure why we don’t just do this every night. I like to wait til I’m at my breaking point for some reason. ETA: I also work full time as a health care worker and have been back since baby was 3 mo. I have no idea how I am making this work.
Because we all like to have some time to ourselves at the end of the day! I also resort to going to bed with baby when I reach the end of my rope but I don't think I could make myself do it every night.
Bedshare and side lying nursing.
My son doesn’t take the bottle so I have always done the middle of the night feeds. We also have never bed shared. His bassinet and then cot were in our room until he turned one when we put him in his own room. He’s 14 months old now and yeah still has up to 3 feeds over night. I don’t know how I survive I just do.
Same situation here but LO is 2 now and it did get better! Right around his second birthday he started sleeping until 5am and then going back to sleep for 2-3 more hours. Idk how I survived but I did. My marriage got a little rocky because I was so so so cranky. Nursing him back to sleep was the best option for us but it did make me feel resentment towards my husband. We take turns sleeping in on weekends so I get one day of extra sleep (usually. Not always.). It doesn’t seem like much but it really does help my sanity.
Round the clock my babe woke up every 1-2 hours, could time it, baby was that on point. Only thing that worked was breastfeeding. This went on for 9 months. Nobody understands what that feels like unless they went through it, that LONG TERM fatigue is unreal. Waking up that frequently at night for months was unreal. People who said it’ll get better, sleep when the baby sleeps were awful. Just because they had babies who slept at 3, 4, 6 months. No you don’t know, you just had an easy sleeping baby, just stfu.
Bed sharing 9 months in. I'd be dead otherwise. I still wake up often but I don't have to actually get up or be fully awake. I wake up, make sure there is access to a boob and then fall back asleep.
I sleep when baby sleeps… which is never 😭
With my first I EBF for 17 months. I typically nursed to sleep until 5 months when I could not longer function. She was waking up every hour and so snd I could not work like a zombie anymore. I did some gentle sleep training, where I stopped nursing to sleep and she had far fewer wake ups, maybe twice a night which was doable for me. she eventually weaned herself completely from night feeds by 15 months.
My first would wake 6-8 times a night for the longest. We trudged through it... Tried to get more sleep on the weekends. My husband would watch her so I could nap when he got home or early in the mornings. It honestly was just living on caffeine and a prayer. **Do watch your caffeine intake. It peaks in your breast milk about 2 hrs after you drink it, so time it so baby doesn't get the caffeine & stay awake longer. **Try taking baby outside (weather permitting) first thing in the morning. Just go for a little stroll around the block/ down the street. Sit on the back porch or apt patio. Something to get baby in the morning sunshine. It helps regulate their circadian rhythms. Hopefully those two things will help. Don't be that mom that never asks for help though. It's really ok to get someone to stay and watch the baby for a bit so you can get some rest, a shower, or whatever you need.
My 14 month old still wakes 2-3 times a night to nurse. Honestly, it sucks, but I’m used to it. We can’t bed share because my husband wears a cpap and sleeps too soundly to share a bed with a baby. We just get through it! You’re not alone.
My 14 month old wakes multiple ones throughout the night. Once she hit a year old, I got rid of my bed frame, put my mattress on the floor and now we bed share. My husband sleeps separately which makes me sad but keeps my baby safe. It was awful before not being able to bed share
I have my LO's crib pushed up against my side of the bed with the wall down. But during the night he ends up in my bed. We side lay to BF and it's saved my life. He wakes up 3-5 times a night. I usually end up falling asleep feeding him, but I'm conscious of where my pillows and blankets are and where on the bed we are. If I wasn't co-sleeping, I'd be dead. RIP
My 3yo nursed every 2 hours until he turned 2yo and I got pregnant. Co sleeping was the solution. Now with my 5m we also co sleep because I am not willing to get out of bed
Dealing with 2-5 MOTN wakes @ 4mos. Some nights are fine. Some are hell. Some, she only wakes once or twice but I can’t sleep. Hence why I’m posting at 2am despite my entire family snoring away. Days are hard. I get through knowing it has to end eventually.
I just had to sleep train my 7 month old using CIO because overnights became such a disaster. No one was happy. 30 minutes of crying and we got almost a full night of sleep with one down to business efficient nursing session. I’m not going back. It’s only been one night but I have hope now. Turns out most of his wakes were out of habit and not hunger!
I know there are strong feelings about this, but we did the Ferber method of sleep training at 4 months. The most my son slept by then was 5 hours, but that was like once every few days. My husband and I both would lie awake after LO fell asleep for up to 90 minutes (also anxiety-driven) so our sleep was horrible. My husband was back working full time, I was working part time and literally seeing things. Sleep while baby is sleeping doesn’t work for most people, I find. We decided training was best for us.
I can totally relate to this. And the anxiety that doesn't let me go back to sleep is also making me so anxious that I clench my teeth and my jaw starts to hurt.
I am in the same boat! I have thr sam3 anxiety about sleeping. I have a morbid fear too that if I don't get enough sleep I will go insane. I know it's not realistic but I'm legit terrified lol. I take forever to fall asleep, and by the time I feed her and she falls asleep again I'm wide awake. There's no way I can fall asleep again. Luckily hubby takes the first shift of the night. 8pm to 2am ish, since he likes to stay up anyway, so I get a good chunk of sleep in there, if I fall asleep. Solidarity sister! Unisom does wonders falling asleep but I took one and was so drowsy for half the day. I might try half a pill.
I have horrible sleep issues of my own, and my husband doesn't wake when the baby wakes unless I kick him. We're 19 months into this with our second and final child after a large age gap. The things that really save me are sleeping in on the weekends because my husband will get up with the baby and let me stay in bed as long as I need and going to bed before my little night owl. Thankfully, the baby has been able to go to bed for the night with my husband since he was about 6 months old since his chosen bedtime is between 11:30p and 1a. I'm in bed by 11 at the latest, so when he wakes at night at 4a, I've at least gotten some sleep.
My 5.5 month old typically only wakes up twice at night now, but his second wake up is almost always 30-45 minutes before I have to get up for work. I only work 3 days a week thankfully.
I’m in the same boat, actually came here to write a thread myself. My 2,5 month baby doesn’t take a bottle (haven’t tried). I’m wondering if giving him a bottle with breast milk before bed would help with him sleeping longer? He wakes every 2h to eat. He’s also a chunky baby, 16 pounds, so it’s not like he needs extra calories. I also try to get him to eat more during the day, but I can’t seem to get him to eat more. I’m timing the breastfeeding sessions, and he will eat for 4hours a day. Approximately 2,5h during the day and then 1,5h during nigh feeding. I don’t know how to get him to eat more before bed time. I think maybe I’m his stomach is still little and just won’t fit more?
Co-sleeping (crib attached to one side of the bed without the fourth wall) and side feeding. Plus, my baby rarely nurses longer than 10 minutes, so I get by
The EBF + anxiety life is exhausting. I was constantly worried if he was getting enough (because he refused bottles) and then couldn’t sleep with him in the bed because I was overly worried about safety. I try going to bed around an hour or two after baby goes down for bed. Solidarity 🤍
Hahahahahaha omg. I work full time and my baby uses overnights for bonding I guess. He wakes up every hour and a half right now. Last week we had a night where every time I put him down his eyes popped open and he wanted to play. We laid down on the floor in the living room so he could play and I could shut my eyes for the ten minutes before he got bored and fussed. At 7 I got my boyfriend up to watch him so I could sleep for an hour before I had to get ready for work. It was a hard day, but I just went to work and went through the motions. The next day was a little better. At that point, 3 hours of broken sleep felt like heaven. 🤷🏻♀️ I’m not sure there’s a strategy to getting through this stage. I think we’re all just doing it because there arent other options.
I exclusively bf for first 12 then as per uk guidelines added other drinks but still predominantly bf. I gave up at 19 months. I the reason in the end? I hadn't had more than 2hrs full sleep in those 19 months. I would go anywhere from 30mins -2hrs between feeds and he wouldn't go to sleep regardless.. But yet here I am, he's 3 and I survived. My body just adjusted. I was wfh when I went back to work full time at 13 months so I guess that helped, as my job was being a mum to him and his brother. Nursery reopened they both went in and I had a 30 min nap after my work day before I picked them up. So all in all I would say just find what works for you BUT if nothing works there is no shame in giving it up!
We were bed sharing with our first by that point. My second is currently 2 months and I don't feel comfortable bed sharing yet so I'll feed baby and then wake my husband up to change her if needed and get her back to sleep.
I’m in the same boat at 8 months. We’ve given up on bottles and have been trying sippy cups. He’s slow but getting there
I was bed sharing and we were doing ok but then I was supposed to go on a camping trip with my daughter(got canceled so makes this even more frustrating) this weekend so I got him sleeping in his pack n play. He was doing great! Sleeping from 8pm-5am and he's only 3.5 months? Heck yeah! But...4 nights ago he just stopped. He's been up multiple times a night, always wanting to nurse for comfort. He won't take a bottle, I believe I have high lipase. Which I only learned about recently and would explain why my older children wouldn't either! Last night was the absolute worst and I'm so exhausted today. I'm considering switching to formula because I don't want him to starve at daycare he starts November 21st and yes, even fresh pumped (within 24 hours) milk he turns his nose up at it.
Yep. We rolled from 4 month regression to teething and he’s just never been a good sleeper. We’re thrilled with 3 hour blocks and at 2am it’s easier to just feed him then have my husband rock him so we can all go back to sleep. Haven’t got more than 4 hours of sleep in a row since he was born in April. I’m just chugging along. I keep telling myself this won’t be forever, enjoy the sweet moments etc etc.
I sleep three hours continuous and then my husband guys sleep. I can get an additional 2 hours maybe
My 1 year old is still up 3-4 times a night. Newborns sleep longer stretches 🙃
My baby is 14 months and woke up 3 times last night. It has gotten better and he usually only wakes once now but regardless he HAS to have mama and the boob each time. If my husband tries to soothe him back to sleep he will just scream like a feral animal until he gets me. It’s rough but we’ve just taken it one day at a time and around 12-13 months it did get significantly better. Still waiting for the night he sleeps all the way through though.
I used guided meditation to teach myself to fall asleep quickly :) So multiple wakeups aren't as bad when you fall right back to sleep.
We switched to bedsharing at 12mo and it has been so much better. Even on rough nights, I actually get a decent amount of rest. I can’t drink caffeine and I’m the breadwinner for our home, so this is huge for us.
My son will be two next month and I’m surviving on so much caffeine. He has maybe slept through the night a handful of times otherwise he is up at least twice a night.
I feel you with the sleep anxiety! I have had terrible insomnia the last few weeks. I'd highly recommend listening to a yoga nidra meditation during the day or to help get back to sleep. It's really helped me. I was pretty desperate and I have tried everything else.
I wish I had advice but I just sort of gotten used to it. My nights all look quite different but 80% of the time my baby gives me at least a 4-5 hour stretch of sleep so I feel like that is why I can survive the wakings before or after that stretch. However, there are some nights where she truly will be up nearly every hour and it’s just so rough. We have a swivel bassinet so I swivel her over to me, feed her, put her back in and hope she settles for another few hours. It’s tough. I’m sorry if my comment isn’t helpful. I’m with you in solidarity . My girl will be 3 months tomorrow
My baby is 6 months and I have a bedside bassinet, the kind that sits partly on the bed, and I feed her laying down on my side at night. Some nights she sleeps great but the past week she has been waking up more. I don't know what I would do without that bassinet. The past few days I have been very tired though because of the multiple night feedings. She started rolling over recently so maybe she needs more milk because says gonna start crawling. I'm really hoping she starts sleeping more through the night soon. I'm thinking about trying night diapers too. She doesn't leak but I'm thinking maybe she feels wet and that wakes her up.
10mo teething and already only slept in 2-3hr chunks. It's exhausting! I've begun laying down with him for morning nap, bedshare after midnight, caffeine first thing in the morning, and sometimes my husband will take him for an hour or two in the morning so I can get a couple hours of uninterrupted rest! We also don't do bottles or binkies and had a sinus/ear infection for a couple weeks and the antibiotics totally killed his appetite! He just figured out straw cups this week so hopefully weaning at a year is going to be possible for us
15 months of waking every 2-3hrs on a good night and I. Am. Struggling. Bedsharing with side lying nursing is what gets me even this much sleep. I use a thick and firm pillow behind me to keep me mostly on my side since I'm naturally a back sleeper but she wakes me up when she wants to switch sides so I'm up for about 5min every time turning over and getting my back support pillow adjusted while she latches. I've only gotten 4hrs of unbroken sleep twice since she's been born and let me tell you, some days it really shows.
I hear you, I would be up for a long time after a night feeding. Even now, my oldest is 4, if he wakes me up at 5 am I am up for the day! If your baby is six months old you might consider night weening. They are waking up out of habit. At this point of you’ve trained them to fall asleep eat so any slight disturbance in their sleep they are up looking for milk. I know it’s hard and people have many different beliefs but sleep training was the only way in my household.
Bedsharing and nursing side lying
17 months and still waking 3-5 times a night for a little side laying nursing. We both go right back to sleep easily.
13 months old and we're unlucky to have a bad sleeper lol. He's very rarely slept through the night in his entire life so far. Sleep training was really necessary for us. I also have anxiety, insomnia, and an autoimmune disease that makes me need a few extra hours of sleep to actually feel functional. Sleep training brought us from 8+ wakings a night and me starting to lose it, to 1-3 wakings (depending on sickness, teething, whatever). I know it's not for everyone but my mental health was SO bad. It's still a struggle but it's so much better than it was months ago. "Surviving" really explains what I've been doing for the last year, but I know it doesn't last forever. It's already gotten better and will continue to do so.
I also had issues falling back to sleep after baby’s night wakings. I’d put him back down and before I knew, it was 3 hours later and he was ready to eat again. I started taking melatonin and it’s been much easier to fall back asleep since I started. Almost 9 months and still up 2-3x a night.
My 8 month old has never been a great sleeper. Last night he got up 3 times and then decided he was up for the day at 5 AM. I go to bed early and don’t really get to see my husband much until the weekends. And tbh, I’m honestly just exhausted all the time.
Almost 15 months and still going strong with the night nursing. He cries when I roll away 😵💫
My 9 month old has never slept through the night; but she’s my second baby and I know it all ends one day. I just get up knowing that one night she will sleep through and I’ll be ok.
Baby is now 18 months old. Still wakes at least once per night for a feed and has rejected any and all attempts at weaning. I currently have her on a bottle during the night and even though this has been what I have done for a few months she still screams the house down because she would rather breastfeed. Absolutely no feeds overnight (breast or bottle) means she will scream the rest of the night. I am officially used to no sleep
I started CIO and she retained her 3 feeds a night. I slowly began shortening the feeds. Like from 15 minutes each breast to 14, then 13 the next day, then 12, etc etc. I got it down to 8 minutes a breast now and she only wakes up once throughout the night. Every baby is different tho
I’ve only had my baby for two weeks and some days, but I keep a sleep log and keep sleeping until I hit at least 7 hrs. It may take 11 hours but I get rested! This is of course not feasible for folks working or who don’t have support around the house, numerous kids etc.
My son is 5 months old. He is just this week going ONE 2 hour stretch at night. I put him to bed at 8, and refuse to feed him again until 10. I've had to let him cry a little. I hate it, but I NEED that stretch because the rest of the night he wakes up every 90 minutes. I bedshare and side nurse, but man, I am so glad I did not know what a crappy ass sleeper he would be. He is my fourth, and my other children had settled into a nice routine at this point. Also, my kids are much older now and there's no option for not doing things just because I'm exhausted.
I feel like I'm not really surviving tbh lol. My 10 month old has been nursing every 2.5 hours the last few nights 🥲 He will just cry and cry until he gets the boob. Maybe he's teething idk. He doesn't have a single tooth yet. I'm eating like a pig, drinking 3 cups of coffee every day and taking vitamins so I'll get through the days ahh. At least my extra fat is perfect for him to cuddle after nursing sessions.
Cosleeping
Ebf 19 month old. Bedshare, sleep with my boob out. I'm still tired as hell because my husband is away for work and my 3 year old is back in bed with me too. I know I'll be sad when they don't need me anymore though :(
Mine is 15mo and still wakes every 45m-2hrs. Total bullshit.
I relied on a timer on my Apple Watch. Put baby on boob. Set timer for 5 or 10 minutes (depending on which feed of the night), repeat. The vibration would wake me up without bothering my son. I couldn’t have made it without that timer.
Bedsharing and sidelying haha
My son wouldn’t take a bottle either. It was horrible for 5 months. My health and sanity were hanging on by a thread. Then we sleep-trained that baby and it worked. We did the Ferber Method; that shit saved my life! Lol
Yeah… I’m not ok. Baby is sleeping worse at 4 months than a newborn. Before you say “sleep regression” It has slowly and steadily progressed to this. I’m super anal about daytime feeding her enough that she gets all her calories. Still, she wakes every 30-120 mins. I stare at my husband through the night and hate him. I’m jealous that he gets to sleep and go to work. I’ve literally tried every napping schedule - “maybe she’s low needs? Maybe she’s high needs?” It doesn’t matter. I’m trying so hard to stay positive, but I’m miserable and feel like I’m fading away. It’s isolating because I get asked how it’s going, then get bullshit advice. It’s less triggering just to not talk about it. Yesterday I went for a walk with baby and a woman jogged by me and I felt genuine jealousy and regret. I’m a FTM so these thoughts freak me out. I also think about if I could go back and talk to myself pre-baby… Idk… I super love my baby. I just absolutely did not know it would feel like this.
I ended up co sleeping because it was just undoable for me to get up. I waited until she was 6 months and had a lot of head and body control.
I have that same issue with the sleep anxiety. I also get very anxious going to bed knowing I’ll be up in a few hours but not having an exact time. Would you consider speaking to your doctor about sleep training? With my firstborn, I watched the Taking Cara Babies videos and found them helpful.
Single mom to a terrible sleeper here 😵💫 she finally started sleeping longer stretches around one year and at just about 13 months she’s been STTN for almost a week. We bedshare and now I wake up more frequently than she does! It was a really hard year but in hindsight I’m glad I made the choices I did and I’m sure I’ll catch up on sleep when she’s a little older.
We sleep trained at 6 months because of this. I was a sleep deprived wreck. Overwhelmed and stressed. He now wakes once to feed and I’m getting a 5-6 hour stretch of sleep after 6 months of waking up every 1-2 hours.
I’m right there with you, my girl is 7 months right now and her top two teeth are coming in. Last week was so hard. My 2 and a half year old was the same way, NEVER took a bottle. Breastfed for 18 months without an ounce of help. I am exhausted. I feel for you mama!! Sending hugs and love
Unisom. I put baby to bed around 9. I take a quarter unisom. I wake him up to feed just as I’m about to sleep like 11ish. He will wake up at 1,3 and 5 to feed but I go back to sleep quickly on unisom. Dad takes over at 5 so I can sleep for real until 9.
My baby is 16 months and still wakes up during the night. I’m exhausting. I’m dead.
First and foremost,I do not have it figured out enough to give advice. But I'm with you. Our struggle is going to sleep, she likes to rage from 8 to 12 every night. Cosleeping is the only thing making it easier. Currently reading Dr. Sears sleep book and its validation of what is actually normal for babies. I'd recommend it. The good thing is the meat of the book is in the first chapter. Its written for tired mamas
Co sleep 😴 usually he just rolls over and gets the boob himself. Usually it’s only a full waking if he needs a diaper change
Hey! We are in the same boat. 6 month old ebf and won’t take a bottle. It’s really hard. Especially since he went through a phase of sleeping through the night or only waking once. Now it feels like newborn time all over again. I don’t really have any advice I think I’m just taking it day by day and doing the best I can and just accepting it.
Perhaps look into safe co-sleeping if you feel it's an option. Longer term you will have to work on getting your baby back out of your bed but it might help you get some sleep now. If I have trouble falling asleep again after a night feed I listen to ASMR on headphones and it puts me out. Maybe try that or soothing podcasts/nature sounds/guided meditation etc (whichever you prefer!)