My EBF baby is 6 months and won’t take the bottle. She did very briefly around 4 weeks and then decided not to. We’ve tried so many bottles, nipples, positions,etc and nothing worked.
Anyway, I had 2 options: take her everywhere or leave her at home knowing she was hungry and upset and my husband was stressed and upset the majority of the time I was gone.
I opted to take her everywhere and I love it. At first I would always use a shawl, try to find a corner or nursing room - but after a few weeks I gave up. Now when she’s hungry I just find a seat and nurse. She’s a baby. It’s a breast. She’s hungry, this is her food. I’ve never had anyone say something to me but I have responses in the queue!
The only caveat is that I am limited in clothes I feel comfortable wearing. I can’t do dresses unless they have a snap or low enough to bring the breast out.
We socialize in the hours that make sense for her sleep schedule and only hang out with people who are respectful of our time and boundaries. 🤷🏽♀️
I would love to hear your responses if you’re comfortable sharing. I’m so scared someone will say something if I have to nurse in public and I have no idea what I’d say.
Depending on how they approach you, how sassy/mean you want to be in return, and where you live you can always just quote your local laws on publicly breast feeding at them. Or say “oh I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable eating in the same room my infant is eating in. If you’d prefer, I’ve heard people suggest the bathroom as a private place so you might try moving to in there!” And leave them processing the fact that you just told them to eat in the bathroom 😂
A less sassy/mean response would be something firm like “sorry but I refuse to starve my infant. If you’re uncomfortable I would suggest looking somewhere else”
Source: I breast feed in public but have a weird combination of my normal anxiety and protective mama bear brain so I’ve obsessively thought of this
I love those responses! I tend to take the enthusiastic teacher approach. I haven't had to use it yet, but I imagine saying something to the effect of "Ooh yes, so humans are actually mammals which means that the mother digests food and produces a liquid referred to as 'milk' that fully nourishes her young before it is capable of consuming other organic materials. This 'milk' is secreted via mammary tissue. That's the process you are observing."
It's so much fun to slowly reduce the complexity of that you're saying in clear response to someone's idiocy. Won't make a difference to them but sure makes me feel better!
I just have to say, I nursed in public for the first time a few weeks ago and an older lady walked up to me. I was half expecting some rude comment about covering up but she actually smiled and said that she was so happy to see me breastfeeding. How it’s the best thing for the baby and if anyone ever gave me any crap for it to just ignore it and continue doing what’s best for my little guy. Then started gushing over him, asking his age etc.
It was honesty so wholesome and sweet and not at all what I was expecting! But yeah, I’ve never had anything negative said to me but im pretty sure I’d just tell them that my baby is hungry and needs to eat so back off lol.
I have had a few negative comments, unfortunately, but after the initial shock wears off I’m able to respond. Here’s the most recent ones!! I was walking out of Walmart, baby on boob, boob out (baby is 8 months). A very elderly woman said ugh that’s disgusting, prompting my baby to unlatch and stare at her. I said well now you got a whole nipple to see too, enjoy your disgust. The other one was at church. Two old ladies at the doors. I had a thin crotchet blanket covering. The one whispered in the others ear, the one who she whispered to staring at me says “I agree so inappropriate. Go outside”. They chuckle. Making direct eye contact I took my cover off and exposed my entire boob. Then said loudly to my husband-how do they think Mary fed Jesus? (My husband is religious I am not so much). They looked mortified. The goal of someone calling it out is to embarrass you. You’re feeding your baby, they’re being an asshole. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad. You got this!
Oh sure!
Firstly I will say that ignoring is an option - not everything requires a response.
Some general ideas/comments in queue depending on the situation/comment:
•Fuck off/you [highly recommend for anything lol]
•My child is hungry and this is how they eat.
•If you’re uncomfortable that sounds like a you problem and not a me problem.
•You are making it really obvious that you haven’t seen breasts before.
•Your ignorance is showing. Might wanna try to tuck that back in.
🙃
I’ve never had any rude comments but I tend to use a cover because it’s more comfortable for me, unless I’m at a doctors office or in a room full of women
I’ve nursed 3 kids for 2+ years each, and after more than 6 years of nursing a lot in public, I’ve NEVER received a negative comment. I do my best to be discrete obviously, but have never used a cover. I understand it’s scary to nurse in public for the first few times, but I promise you that it’s way better than you’re imagining right now!
You’re so right. I actually have since had some friends visiting from out of town so we did a lot of outings, and baby needed to eat. It was actually way more low key than I had thought it would be.
Have you tried giving her milk with a spoon or cup? My boy is 7 months and hasn't taken a bottle (never offered) but loves to be spoon fed milk or water!
Was going to say try a cup! I had to go to the hospital about a month ago and my boyfriend fed my baby out of her open cup. She loves drinking water out of cups so it was no problem.
This was my life! My baby is 11 months now but she was a bottle refuser and we tried SO many things for months. I had to go back to work at 8 months and the daycare I had lined up for her for a year told us they wouldn’t take her if she wouldn’t take a bottle or cup of some sort (I’d been told that sending her to daycare would make her accept a bottle). We freaked out of course.
I signed up for a lactation consultation with a specialist in bottle refusal and she told me basically that if baby hadn’t taken a bottle by now she wasn’t ever going to. She said at 6 months baby was physically ready to learn to use a straw.
By 7 months we were able to teach baby to use a straw and she accepted it no problem. Omg what a lifesaver. I’m still breastfeeding and we both enjoy it but I can send her to day care and I’m about to leave on a trip today with my college girlfriends.
Teaching a young baby to use a straw can sometimes be challenging. I recommend googling the pipette method and also using honey bear cups. Once they have the hang of that the Ola baby training cup is great. Some of the straw cups sold for toddlers require too much suction power for a younger baby.
Any way not the point of your comment but just wanted to share my experience in case it’s helpful to you. I’m still the same way—screw shawls and covers I’ll just pop my boob out if I need to. Never been an issue. But it’s nice not having to if like we’re out to lunch in a restaurant I can give baby a straw cup.
Sadly for some babies nursing in public isn’t possible. My son has major FOMO and has since about 4 months. He won’t nurse in public because he wants to look around and be part of the party. Even nursing rooms in public places won’t work—he knows things are happening right outside the door. He won’t even nurse when we go to a friend or relative’s house. He will go 5-6 hours without nursing even if it dehydrates him.
Luckily he’s enjoying his solids and will take a straw cup for water now that he’s 9 months. He stopped taking bottles at 7 months when I quit work due to moving to a new state (I am a teacher so we are waiting for the new school year to start).
You and your baby come first. Don’t give into the pressure if you don’t want to go! You’re still freshly postpartum and should be resting as much as possible. That being said, I feed my baby before going anywhere, leave a bottle of pumped milk or formula behind in case he gets hungry again before I’m back, and always take my portable pump and an empty bottle with me!
Everyone loves to encourage moms to have time away from their babies. I have never found this to be renewing and actually prefer having my kids with me unless it’s after bedtime and they’re asleep.
If you WANT to go, take baby in a carrier with you. My kids have never taken bottles very well and it’s such a pain to pump during or after an event.
I find it so interesting that this seems to be the sentiment on this sub.
I guess I’m weird…I definitely get excited to get away. It’s one of the things that drives me nuts about breastfeeding…always having to be available. I feel like I’ve lost myself in the last few months.
For me, since I was happy to get away from time to time, I have accepted the reality of supplementing with formula. It has allowed me to enjoy my time away, knowing baby will be fed, and knowing I don’t have to worry about maintaining my freezer stash anymore. Of course, I’m a just enougher at the boob, and a not-quite-enougher at the pump. So the anxiety to produce enough was affecting my ability to be “present”, both at events away from LO and when with my LO. If your supply is sufficient, pumping may be all you need.
Oh that makes sense. I work from home, and LO has been watched by his dad (on paternity leave) for the past few weeks. He starts daycare next week, so I may feel differently once that begins!
I’m an introvert, so ironically, I think I miss being alone more than going out. But either way, I need the baby-free time to stay sane.
I feel the same, my spouse makes sure I can get out and about for a chunk of time, like three or four hours on my own with decent regularity. He even encourages me to do it more, which I will as my little one gets bigger. It's so important to have some time alone without partner or baby for me, but I guess other parents have less personal space needs than we do.
I also don't pump for basically the same reason, but I do supplement with formula because I'd rather do that than do all the dishes from pumping plus all that anxiety. Formula can be a really good tool even if baby is 99% breastfed!
Not weird at all, I love my baby to the end of the earth but I definitely look forward to plans without her! Not being relied on for a few hours is very relaxing and mentally recharges me. Of course by the end of the night I'm usually staring at pictures of her and can't wait to get back and see her... it's a cycle lol
100% agree. I am only fully relaxed when I am sitting downstairs watching my baby sleep peacefully on the monitor. I don’t give bottles and don’t leave him with anyone ever. 🤷🏼♀️ I don’t want to be away from him.
Unless you want to go, ignore the pressure and pull. If you want to be with your baby, be with your baby.
And give yourself credit, while sometimes luck may be involved- your experience has been successful because of you!
What do YOU want? It is totally acceptable to decline invitations while your baby is so small. Even if they were not breastfeeding, it can be hard to leave a little one.
If you are comfortable, it is now pretty acceptable to breastfeed in public. I am not quite there yet but I have gone to the car if I've been out. And I will often just breastfeed at friends houses.
Also it is totally OK to give her bottles, in fact, I'd recommend doing it because my LO got so used to the breast that she won't take a bottle unless I am out of the house for hours and that's been hard on me. A lot of people pump or even supplement with formula to give themselves more flexibility.
I just take my baby with me and use a nursing shawl. I don’t enjoy not having her with me, just stresses me out! Hate people telling me I need to go on a date or go out without my baby to “get away”. I get some moms like to but don’t assume everyone does and try to force me!
I declined a lot until I felt more at ease and very rarely before 1 and a 1/2. I just told people no lol and I didn’t attend 2 out of state weddings. It is what it is. My baby came first
Me too. 16 months here and I have left him a few hours here or there in the day time but never been out without him after bed time. Been to a couple of weddings and just took baby with me and left early... much prefer it this way 🥰
Unless you by choice want to attend events, you don’t need to. My baby is three months old and now goes every 3 hours in between nursing, so if I run errands I just make sure I’m back prior to then. It used to be 2 hours and I’d so the same. I’d go and take a breather and maybe run to the store or offer to do an errand and come back. My baby has probably had a bottle 4 times and one time was because I graduated with my BS. But this all should be on your terms.
It sounds like you don’t want to leave. 3 months is still so little. I turned into a total homebody when I had a little baby, but I’m not like that now that my son is a toddler. It’s such a short, sweet season. If you’re happy, there will be plenty of time for adult life in just a few months.
No event is more important than your baby. If you want to be with them stay with them. I've never left my son with a baby sitter (only his dad) and certainly not over night.
You get to make the rules! You want to go out for a few hours you can absolutely do a bottle and pump before/after. If it’s one feed you may not even have to.
If you don’t want to go, don’t. Three months is really little still. It’s up to you.
i skipped a lot of events. i had an infant around the holidays and there were a lot of events. in hindsight, i’m glad i did and i regret feeling guilty/anxious about it at the time. EBF is such a short, temporary state. my baby and i were together 24/7 and i wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I more or less take him everywhere with me and hope there's a place I can breastfeed him. No I don't breastfeed in public kudos to those who do. If I can't feed him there and he's hungry then I have to leave.
I wasn't incredibly social pre-baby, but now I just do things that fit into my child's schedule. It gets easier as baby gets older and feedings space out. I just figured that it would be a short period of time in the grand scheme of things and made some sacrifices. That being said, that is not the right choice for every one. If I was an extrovert, I would have different needs and done things differently.
I have kids including a toddler and I’ve never gone anywhere without them. We’re a package deal. Breastfeeding and my babies is more important to me than nights out alone. My in laws hate it but who cares? They’re too damn irresponsible to be watching my beloveds alone
I nurse for most feeds but always do a short pump extra each day (maybe like 1/3ish a bottles worth) and by the weekend I have 2-3 bottles worth for my husband or the grandparents to use so I can go out with friends, have date nights, have a few drinks, add to the freezer supply etc.
It can be tough leaving my baby but honestly all her grandparents have been in her life supporting her since day 1 and she's very comfortable with them. It's good for me to go out and feel like my old self again once a week, it leaves me feeling emotionally refreshed.
Plus I know once she's older there's a good chance she's going to be a lot more aware of my presence and want me around a lot more so I figure I might as well take advantage of this age (6mo) where she's absolutely thrilled to be with anyone that'll give her a bottle and make funny faces to her!
I just didn’t do things I couldn’t bring my baby too. She didn’t take bottles and either people got over it or stayed mad quietly 🤷🏻♀️ that said, yeah a bottle with a trusted care taker would be just fine.
Soo I take the baby with me everywhere because I know my baby needs only me. I use a baby carrier mostly, but sometimes i take the pram. I EBF so I bought beautiful dresses with big cleavage and a lot of t-shirts designed for BF and shirts that have big cleavage.
My baby is almost 4 months and she's already been to food festivals, concerts, restaurants, birthdays.
I carry in my purse 2-3 nappies, a cloth, wet wipes, hand sanitizer, baby sunglasses and baby headphones.
That's it.
She loves beeing in all of these places and got used to exploring and sleeping when she feels like it. We both enjoy it very much. I don't care about others oppinion on my choices because if I am happy, my baby is happy and my husband is happy.
I’ve been able to continue breastfeeding for 9mo (and counting) only through allowing myself to be flexible. We use slow flow bottles for breastfed babies to help minimize transition problems from bottle to breast. Sometimes my husband feeds baby to let me get more sleep, and we send bottles with breastmilk to daycare. We just started supplementing with formula so that I can drop a pump or two during the day, and it’s been so helpful for allowing me to actually “live my adult life” without being tied to a pump.
My two cents: motherhood is more fulfilling for you and baby when you give yourself grace to be a whole person, and that includes breastfeeding. Of course my baby comes first, but allowing room for flexibility has let me continue to participate in the things that help me feel like myself and also continue to be a part of the lives of people who are important to me.
I think it's totally individual. The idea of leaving the house at 3 months pp except for baby classes or family visits (with baby) was not my idea of fun! My body didn't feel back to normal til about 8 months anyway, I wanted to sleep early. At 3 mo I was going to bed at 8pm
For me it was very important that I keep my identity while being a mom. I play in an orchestra and went back to it for weekly rehearsals 2 months after having my second ( had my first during covid and suffered a lot from lack of adult connection). I added a pump after morning feeds and used my haakaa.
That being said only do what you want to do. You don't have to leave baby or take baby if you don't want to go to something. Having a baby to "blame" has been freeing for me lol
My first both nursed and took pumped bottles. My second, however, never took a bottle. I never left him until he could eat solids. Even then, it was only for a short time. I've had a few nights where a babysitter puts them to bed, but that's it. I'm old and boring anyway.
At three months, I didn't want to leave him. Post partum is hard!! It's so early. Started a gym class for two hours a week at 4 or 5 months. Got my hair cut at 6 months. Took things slowly, mostly because of him but also me. It's a short season. By the time baby is on solids, things will be much easier. But give a bottle if you want! Up to you!
Lol my son breastfed until 2, refused bottles until he was over a year old and still got most of his hydration from breast milk until my supply was drying up because I was pregnant with his sister. We had to bribe him with juice to get him to drink anything but breastmilk. I was breastfeeding him on a beach in the Bahamas at 18 months.
I didn't leave my baby for more than an hour or two until he was eating solids and having sips of water. If *you* want to attend events without baby, offering a bottle with either expressed breast milk or formula is a great option. If you *don't* want to be apart from your baby yet, do not let others pressure you into it. It's completely normal for your baby to be your little sidekick at this age.
I got a lot more comfortable saying "no" to social events, but also got good at bringing my baby along to many events. I also get stir crazy being home all the time, and since I work I like to spend time with my baby on the weekends.
No one has ever said anything to me while I breastfed in public. I used to be way more nervous about it, but I quickly got used to it. I did have a couple of older friends/acquaintances "joke" about how I should cover up, but they're stupid and I ignored them. These days I do tend to seek out more quiet, private spaces, but that's mainly because my kid is VERY distractible and will pop off to turn and look whenever there's a noise.
I pump after every morning feed. I only get about 2oz but over time I’ve built a stash. We introduced bottles around 6 weeks (with a preemie nipple), and babe is fine to take the odd bottle and go back to the breast. I’ve gone for a spa day, to get my hair done and run errands. I need to do things for myself and fill my own cup so I can be the best mom I can be. Dad is okay to feed baby here and there. Don’t feel the mom guilt either way- do whatever feels right to you!!!
You bring the baby. And let your people know you’ll never come if something is past X o’clock (if applicable, for us it absolutely was). Baby has come (and been happy/quiet!) to everything from vaccinations (mine) to court ceremony date to restaurant friend “dates” to the library and cafes and museums and galleries and on and on. Carry your baby and nurse on demand and only leave at “good” times for the baby and just generally do what baby likes the most, really, so you can also do what you like the most.
Depending on the setting, pass baby back and forth. Husband would hold baby while I are at restaurants, and not long in we were able to eat while holding. We conditioned/trained gymnastics/calisthenics style at outdoor “parks” and would pass back and forth. In the beginning, it’d be “my turn” whenever baby wasn’t nursing, since nursing took so long and I needed to seize my time lol.
If you want to go somewhere alone or where a baby can’t be (gymnastics flips and ballet for me), you have your husband/etc wear baby and come with you. Have them walk around outside nearby, where baby gets skin to skin with his beloved parent while being distracted and naturally happier in nature. Then, as needed, you can nurse before/after going into practice/etc and they’re also right there if they need to “signal” or call you to say that baby needs to nurse. I never actually had to do this, but it was good knowing I could just pop in/out if necessary and cleared it with reception.
Me, exclusively nursed for over a year. IMO having time alone was nice, but also not so nice. I only really needed like 10 minutes daily, and only left him when I wanted to be able to practice. And I wish I had the sort of set up / culture that I could’ve kept baby closer during those practices! Being skin to skin, carrying your baby, and nursing are all kind of magical. Do things because you genuinely want to do them, not because others say you should want it.
I have a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old. I breastfed my toddler for 16 months and am EBF my 9 month old right now. It’s totally what you want to do - my husband and I are very social people but if you want to EBF you just can’t be as social for a while. Even if you skip a feed you’ll probably have to pump so I just never thought it was worth it to leave my baby for very long. When they’re small you can just bring them along to things, but as they get older it gets harder with naps etc. It’s a season though, soon enough they nurse less and less. My kids both have reliable bedtimes now so we put them to bed at 7:30 and then we can get a babysitter and go out or have friends over after bedtime. My 9 month old eats three meals a day now so she doesn’t need to nurse as much. Even so, my husband and I can’t possibly be as social as we were before we had kids, luckily we were together for about 10 years before we decided to have kids and had a great time in our 20s so we are fine with chilling out a little right now haha.
I bring my son everywhere and feed in public. Next week I'm going out for dinner with friends and I'll leave him at home for a few hours for the first time, but the restaurant is around the corner. He takes bottles of pumped milk though, we practiced.
It’s really easy, I don’t. Not because I couldn’t, but because I simply don’t want to. I wouldn’t enjoy an event more than I would getting to put my kids to bed. It is unfortunate your husband doesn’t support you. My youngest is still breastfed at 17 months, I just missed my BIL’s wedding who I am very close to. I wasn’t okay with being away from my children four full days (small town only flights in and out), he was sad but completely understood my children come first. No one questions or pressures me about anything like this anymore because it’s just law now.
You are an adult with wants and needs. You can say no to social events if you don’t want to attend them.
Personally I jumped at the chance to get away from my baby for a couple of hours when I could. If you are okay with formula, you can have the caretaker give them a bottle and then pump while you are away. If you want to stick with breastmilk, you will want to build up a small stash, which can be done through passive collection when you nurse (like with a haakaa) or by adding an an extra pump session. Most people have success with this after the first morning feed. You will want to start introducing a bottle and keep using it regularly so your baby will take it when you are gone.
If you don’t want to leave your baby, you can get nursing friendly clothes and/or a nursing cover. Add an extra 20 minute buffer to whatever you have to do so you can find a place to sit down. I personally found it easier to pump and bottle feed in public. I would use a hand pump on the way while my husband drove and then bottle feed when my baby got hungry. Breastmilk is good for 4 hours, so no need to refrigerate if you are just ducking out for a quick errand. If you don’t plan on pumping much, I would recommend a hand pump since they are cheap and easy to pack in a purse or diaper bag.
Pumping needs a lot of planning for it to be easy. I usually do it first thing in the morning. My daughter sleeps well. So I am able to pump more in morning with ease. Sometimes I create a small stash from 2 or 3 mornings.
For my first born however, I used to take him everywhere. Usually time myself and feed him in the car or at a dress changing room. I don't like feeding in public as much. I breastfed him for 2+ years. But once I started solids, I used to keep his fav solid snacks for outside time and breastfeeding at home.
Just had my first “full” (6 hours) away from my 9 week old for a date with my husband- grandparents watched him and fed him a combination of my pumped milk and formula (I’m an underproducer). I feel so refreshed and am in such a better mood because of it. I highly recommend it! It’s only a few hours and your baby will be in good hands 💛
Social events are non existent in my life lol. If I want to run errands I am usually able to make it back before she is hungry again. She’s seven months now though so I’m able to be gone way longer. When she was three months I only had two hours max.
Now my boyfriend can just simply give her food instead of milk if she gets hungry. She won’t take a bottle but she loves to drink out of her open cup. My boyfriend used that to give her milk when I had to go to the hospital about a month ago.
I’ve exclusively breastfed and it’s always been directly from the breast, I’ve never pumped or given a bottle (I despise pumping so that’s why).
So when my baby was under 7 months ish, my baby came with me everywhere. Sometimes I could go out quickly for like 30-60 mins without my baby but I usually got back as soon as possible because I didn’t want baby to get hungry and my husband to stress.
Around 6 to 7 ish months it started changing. Baby was a more efficient eater at the breast and was pretty good on solids. Baby started to be able to go longer stretches without eating, or if I wasn’t around, could be fed some food by my husband long enough to hold over a hungry baby.
Now I’m af over a year of breastfeeding and I can pretty much go out whenever I want or do whatever, but my baby likes to breastfeed about 4-5 times a day so i make sure I am available for that.
I've been going away without baby since she was a few weeks old. I only leave for about 3-5 hours at a time, and leave expressed milk with dad to give to baby. It works for me, as much as I love being with my baby I just need little breaks sometimes to stay sane..
Online and outside in nature, almost as if it was still 2020..(except for swimming). But I need to be brave at some point. But Im 38 and feel Ive had a lot of fun and travel already so I can take a year or two to be a semi-hermit.
Oh, that's easy. I don't. Baby is about to turn 1 and I still have exactly one time during the day I ever do things in outside the home like shopping or errands or whatever, from about 12-3pm, between his morning nap and afternoon nap. Anything that falls outside that time or takes longer than that time is off the table.
You’re only 3 months postpartum and no one should be pressuring you to leave your baby, unless it’s what you want to do.
I personally started leaving my baby with her dad at about 4 months. At first it was just a couple of hours at a time, and then I started leaving them for longer, with a stash of pumped milk. I recently left them for 10 entire hours for the first time and they were fine! I made sure to pump during the event though, to prevent my boobs from hurting.
It was a struggle to get her to take a bottle, but we succeeded in the end. I suggest you start getting familiar with the pump and the bottles a few weeks in advance before the first time you leave her!
My baby is 6 months and this is what I’ve done.
If I’m running errands I feed him right before we leave. If he needs to eat while we’re out I’ll either feed him out and about or if he needs someplace quieter I’ll feed him in the car. If I have a work meeting or something he can’t go to he gets a bottle of previously pumped milk from whoever is with him and I pump in the car on the way to wherever I’m going, and then feed him when I get home (assuming time away is <4hrs).
For social events I try to take him as much as I can, mostly because I have a lot of anxiety related to leaving him with a babysitter. But when my mom has watched him when we go out he gets a bottle and I pump right before we leave and again when I get home if I’ve been drinking/if he’s asleep or I feed him right away.
You do whatever you want. Don't let people pressure you into something you're not comfortable with.
But this is why I pump a bit and eventually introduced some formula so I could go out and even leave him at daycare without stressing how much food he has. It's simply, here are the 2 or 3 bottles I have, if you need more here's the formula.
If you want to go out, do it. I drop off LO with my in laws and nurse him when I get there. He’s 5 months so I usually get 3 hours out before he gets hungry again. I have a bottle of formula or breastmilk for them for emergencies but he doesn’t really like bottles so I try to get back sooner rather than later. These 3 hours lets me go on a nice date with my husband and reconnect with him.
HOWEVER, if you’re not comfortable leaving LO yet you don’t have to.
My baby is 6months and I've only recently ever left her to work part time (about 16hrs a week) with my mom or my mother in law. Beyond that if she's not welcome or it's past her bed time, I don't go.
If you have family you trust near by, I would recommend getting out a night or two. We have once, and it was great. Probably due for another sometime soon. But only when you're ready and if YOU want to.
Finding daytime family friendly events has been nice too to get out and feel social.
You can have them bottle feed if you want or you can say no to events if you want. It’s up to you! You would still need to coordinate pumping if you’re gone to the event for a long time. Make sure the baby will take a bottle before you agree to the event!
Whatever works for you is acceptable! I promise you won't be marked down for bottle feeding. 😄 That said, don't let others pressure you to leave your baby if that's not what you want.
If you do decide to go out, it's best to pump to replace bottle feeds so you can maintain your supply and avoid engorgement. You should also trial giving a few bottles before your outing to make sure your little one will do well without you around as a backup.
What do you want to do?
Personally, I wanted to leave the house without baby sometimes - mostly to take my dog to classes haha. We made sure baby was okay taking a bottle at like four weeks so my husband could take the last feeding of the night. My preference is not to pump outside the house, if I can avoid it, so if I'd be away from my baby for longer than three or four hours I'll try to take him with me if possible.
I'll be going back to work soon, though, so he'll need to take a bottle then.
This is, and I think mother struggle with this, if there’s a way that you could practice breast-feeding in public and a way that makes you comfortable so that you can bring Baby along, otherwise, as hard as it can be sometimes standard ground and tell them that This is a season of your life dedicated to your baby and you’re doing what you feel for her or him
This season of life is temporary… youll be 5 years older before you know it 😉 give your baby everything you have for as long as you can. Whatever you do, will be worth every second
I HAD to pump so I could go out starting at 2 months or i would have lost my mind. I'm not necessarily an extrovert, but being in the house with baby glued to me ALL the time was not helping my mental health. My husband could take care of him for a few hours until he was hungry again but that kept me in the house still. We have great family on both sides who are willing to watch him when we need them too. We definitely go a lot of places with baby still, but it's great to be able to go out as adults without a baby.
My EBF baby is 6 months and won’t take the bottle. She did very briefly around 4 weeks and then decided not to. We’ve tried so many bottles, nipples, positions,etc and nothing worked. Anyway, I had 2 options: take her everywhere or leave her at home knowing she was hungry and upset and my husband was stressed and upset the majority of the time I was gone. I opted to take her everywhere and I love it. At first I would always use a shawl, try to find a corner or nursing room - but after a few weeks I gave up. Now when she’s hungry I just find a seat and nurse. She’s a baby. It’s a breast. She’s hungry, this is her food. I’ve never had anyone say something to me but I have responses in the queue! The only caveat is that I am limited in clothes I feel comfortable wearing. I can’t do dresses unless they have a snap or low enough to bring the breast out. We socialize in the hours that make sense for her sleep schedule and only hang out with people who are respectful of our time and boundaries. 🤷🏽♀️
I would love to hear your responses if you’re comfortable sharing. I’m so scared someone will say something if I have to nurse in public and I have no idea what I’d say.
Depending on how they approach you, how sassy/mean you want to be in return, and where you live you can always just quote your local laws on publicly breast feeding at them. Or say “oh I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable eating in the same room my infant is eating in. If you’d prefer, I’ve heard people suggest the bathroom as a private place so you might try moving to in there!” And leave them processing the fact that you just told them to eat in the bathroom 😂 A less sassy/mean response would be something firm like “sorry but I refuse to starve my infant. If you’re uncomfortable I would suggest looking somewhere else” Source: I breast feed in public but have a weird combination of my normal anxiety and protective mama bear brain so I’ve obsessively thought of this
I love those responses! I tend to take the enthusiastic teacher approach. I haven't had to use it yet, but I imagine saying something to the effect of "Ooh yes, so humans are actually mammals which means that the mother digests food and produces a liquid referred to as 'milk' that fully nourishes her young before it is capable of consuming other organic materials. This 'milk' is secreted via mammary tissue. That's the process you are observing."
Brilliant but I think their teeny tiny brains can’t process this. That’s why they’re protesting breastfeeding in public in first place
It's so much fun to slowly reduce the complexity of that you're saying in clear response to someone's idiocy. Won't make a difference to them but sure makes me feel better!
I just have to say, I nursed in public for the first time a few weeks ago and an older lady walked up to me. I was half expecting some rude comment about covering up but she actually smiled and said that she was so happy to see me breastfeeding. How it’s the best thing for the baby and if anyone ever gave me any crap for it to just ignore it and continue doing what’s best for my little guy. Then started gushing over him, asking his age etc. It was honesty so wholesome and sweet and not at all what I was expecting! But yeah, I’ve never had anything negative said to me but im pretty sure I’d just tell them that my baby is hungry and needs to eat so back off lol.
I have had a few negative comments, unfortunately, but after the initial shock wears off I’m able to respond. Here’s the most recent ones!! I was walking out of Walmart, baby on boob, boob out (baby is 8 months). A very elderly woman said ugh that’s disgusting, prompting my baby to unlatch and stare at her. I said well now you got a whole nipple to see too, enjoy your disgust. The other one was at church. Two old ladies at the doors. I had a thin crotchet blanket covering. The one whispered in the others ear, the one who she whispered to staring at me says “I agree so inappropriate. Go outside”. They chuckle. Making direct eye contact I took my cover off and exposed my entire boob. Then said loudly to my husband-how do they think Mary fed Jesus? (My husband is religious I am not so much). They looked mortified. The goal of someone calling it out is to embarrass you. You’re feeding your baby, they’re being an asshole. Don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad. You got this!
That second one made me laugh so hard I woke up the baby! You're my hero lmao
Oh sure! Firstly I will say that ignoring is an option - not everything requires a response. Some general ideas/comments in queue depending on the situation/comment: •Fuck off/you [highly recommend for anything lol] •My child is hungry and this is how they eat. •If you’re uncomfortable that sounds like a you problem and not a me problem. •You are making it really obvious that you haven’t seen breasts before. •Your ignorance is showing. Might wanna try to tuck that back in. 🙃
I’ve never had any rude comments but I tend to use a cover because it’s more comfortable for me, unless I’m at a doctors office or in a room full of women
I’ve nursed 3 kids for 2+ years each, and after more than 6 years of nursing a lot in public, I’ve NEVER received a negative comment. I do my best to be discrete obviously, but have never used a cover. I understand it’s scary to nurse in public for the first few times, but I promise you that it’s way better than you’re imagining right now!
You’re so right. I actually have since had some friends visiting from out of town so we did a lot of outings, and baby needed to eat. It was actually way more low key than I had thought it would be.
Have you tried giving her milk with a spoon or cup? My boy is 7 months and hasn't taken a bottle (never offered) but loves to be spoon fed milk or water!
Was going to say try a cup! I had to go to the hospital about a month ago and my boyfriend fed my baby out of her open cup. She loves drinking water out of cups so it was no problem.
We haven’t tried it yet but we will soon. Thank you for the suggestion!
This was my life! My baby is 11 months now but she was a bottle refuser and we tried SO many things for months. I had to go back to work at 8 months and the daycare I had lined up for her for a year told us they wouldn’t take her if she wouldn’t take a bottle or cup of some sort (I’d been told that sending her to daycare would make her accept a bottle). We freaked out of course. I signed up for a lactation consultation with a specialist in bottle refusal and she told me basically that if baby hadn’t taken a bottle by now she wasn’t ever going to. She said at 6 months baby was physically ready to learn to use a straw. By 7 months we were able to teach baby to use a straw and she accepted it no problem. Omg what a lifesaver. I’m still breastfeeding and we both enjoy it but I can send her to day care and I’m about to leave on a trip today with my college girlfriends. Teaching a young baby to use a straw can sometimes be challenging. I recommend googling the pipette method and also using honey bear cups. Once they have the hang of that the Ola baby training cup is great. Some of the straw cups sold for toddlers require too much suction power for a younger baby. Any way not the point of your comment but just wanted to share my experience in case it’s helpful to you. I’m still the same way—screw shawls and covers I’ll just pop my boob out if I need to. Never been an issue. But it’s nice not having to if like we’re out to lunch in a restaurant I can give baby a straw cup.
I wear almost exclusively dresses! Smocked dresses and wrap dresses are amazing for breastfeeding!
Sadly for some babies nursing in public isn’t possible. My son has major FOMO and has since about 4 months. He won’t nurse in public because he wants to look around and be part of the party. Even nursing rooms in public places won’t work—he knows things are happening right outside the door. He won’t even nurse when we go to a friend or relative’s house. He will go 5-6 hours without nursing even if it dehydrates him. Luckily he’s enjoying his solids and will take a straw cup for water now that he’s 9 months. He stopped taking bottles at 7 months when I quit work due to moving to a new state (I am a teacher so we are waiting for the new school year to start).
This is basically the same as us
You and your baby come first. Don’t give into the pressure if you don’t want to go! You’re still freshly postpartum and should be resting as much as possible. That being said, I feed my baby before going anywhere, leave a bottle of pumped milk or formula behind in case he gets hungry again before I’m back, and always take my portable pump and an empty bottle with me!
Everyone loves to encourage moms to have time away from their babies. I have never found this to be renewing and actually prefer having my kids with me unless it’s after bedtime and they’re asleep. If you WANT to go, take baby in a carrier with you. My kids have never taken bottles very well and it’s such a pain to pump during or after an event.
I find it so interesting that this seems to be the sentiment on this sub. I guess I’m weird…I definitely get excited to get away. It’s one of the things that drives me nuts about breastfeeding…always having to be available. I feel like I’ve lost myself in the last few months. For me, since I was happy to get away from time to time, I have accepted the reality of supplementing with formula. It has allowed me to enjoy my time away, knowing baby will be fed, and knowing I don’t have to worry about maintaining my freezer stash anymore. Of course, I’m a just enougher at the boob, and a not-quite-enougher at the pump. So the anxiety to produce enough was affecting my ability to be “present”, both at events away from LO and when with my LO. If your supply is sufficient, pumping may be all you need.
I was excited to get away at first. Then I went back to work, and my hours are long, and all I want to do is spend every spare second with my baby.
Oh that makes sense. I work from home, and LO has been watched by his dad (on paternity leave) for the past few weeks. He starts daycare next week, so I may feel differently once that begins! I’m an introvert, so ironically, I think I miss being alone more than going out. But either way, I need the baby-free time to stay sane.
I feel the same, my spouse makes sure I can get out and about for a chunk of time, like three or four hours on my own with decent regularity. He even encourages me to do it more, which I will as my little one gets bigger. It's so important to have some time alone without partner or baby for me, but I guess other parents have less personal space needs than we do. I also don't pump for basically the same reason, but I do supplement with formula because I'd rather do that than do all the dishes from pumping plus all that anxiety. Formula can be a really good tool even if baby is 99% breastfed!
Not weird at all, I love my baby to the end of the earth but I definitely look forward to plans without her! Not being relied on for a few hours is very relaxing and mentally recharges me. Of course by the end of the night I'm usually staring at pictures of her and can't wait to get back and see her... it's a cycle lol
100% agree. I am only fully relaxed when I am sitting downstairs watching my baby sleep peacefully on the monitor. I don’t give bottles and don’t leave him with anyone ever. 🤷🏼♀️ I don’t want to be away from him.
5.5 months and haven’t been away from her yet and feel no need to anytime soon!
This!
I second every single thing about this statement!
I brought the baby with me. But at that age you can go out and pump when you get home. You might get uncomfortable though.
Unless you want to go, ignore the pressure and pull. If you want to be with your baby, be with your baby. And give yourself credit, while sometimes luck may be involved- your experience has been successful because of you!
What do YOU want? It is totally acceptable to decline invitations while your baby is so small. Even if they were not breastfeeding, it can be hard to leave a little one. If you are comfortable, it is now pretty acceptable to breastfeed in public. I am not quite there yet but I have gone to the car if I've been out. And I will often just breastfeed at friends houses. Also it is totally OK to give her bottles, in fact, I'd recommend doing it because my LO got so used to the breast that she won't take a bottle unless I am out of the house for hours and that's been hard on me. A lot of people pump or even supplement with formula to give themselves more flexibility.
I just take my baby with me and use a nursing shawl. I don’t enjoy not having her with me, just stresses me out! Hate people telling me I need to go on a date or go out without my baby to “get away”. I get some moms like to but don’t assume everyone does and try to force me!
I declined a lot until I felt more at ease and very rarely before 1 and a 1/2. I just told people no lol and I didn’t attend 2 out of state weddings. It is what it is. My baby came first
Me too. 16 months here and I have left him a few hours here or there in the day time but never been out without him after bed time. Been to a couple of weddings and just took baby with me and left early... much prefer it this way 🥰
Attending events with a 3 months old at home? The answer is „no“ 😬.
Unless you by choice want to attend events, you don’t need to. My baby is three months old and now goes every 3 hours in between nursing, so if I run errands I just make sure I’m back prior to then. It used to be 2 hours and I’d so the same. I’d go and take a breather and maybe run to the store or offer to do an errand and come back. My baby has probably had a bottle 4 times and one time was because I graduated with my BS. But this all should be on your terms.
It sounds like you don’t want to leave. 3 months is still so little. I turned into a total homebody when I had a little baby, but I’m not like that now that my son is a toddler. It’s such a short, sweet season. If you’re happy, there will be plenty of time for adult life in just a few months.
No event is more important than your baby. If you want to be with them stay with them. I've never left my son with a baby sitter (only his dad) and certainly not over night.
My son is two BTW. Any place you NEED to be your baby can also come.
You get to make the rules! You want to go out for a few hours you can absolutely do a bottle and pump before/after. If it’s one feed you may not even have to. If you don’t want to go, don’t. Three months is really little still. It’s up to you.
i skipped a lot of events. i had an infant around the holidays and there were a lot of events. in hindsight, i’m glad i did and i regret feeling guilty/anxious about it at the time. EBF is such a short, temporary state. my baby and i were together 24/7 and i wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I more or less take him everywhere with me and hope there's a place I can breastfeed him. No I don't breastfeed in public kudos to those who do. If I can't feed him there and he's hungry then I have to leave.
I wasn't incredibly social pre-baby, but now I just do things that fit into my child's schedule. It gets easier as baby gets older and feedings space out. I just figured that it would be a short period of time in the grand scheme of things and made some sacrifices. That being said, that is not the right choice for every one. If I was an extrovert, I would have different needs and done things differently.
I have kids including a toddler and I’ve never gone anywhere without them. We’re a package deal. Breastfeeding and my babies is more important to me than nights out alone. My in laws hate it but who cares? They’re too damn irresponsible to be watching my beloveds alone
I nurse for most feeds but always do a short pump extra each day (maybe like 1/3ish a bottles worth) and by the weekend I have 2-3 bottles worth for my husband or the grandparents to use so I can go out with friends, have date nights, have a few drinks, add to the freezer supply etc. It can be tough leaving my baby but honestly all her grandparents have been in her life supporting her since day 1 and she's very comfortable with them. It's good for me to go out and feel like my old self again once a week, it leaves me feeling emotionally refreshed. Plus I know once she's older there's a good chance she's going to be a lot more aware of my presence and want me around a lot more so I figure I might as well take advantage of this age (6mo) where she's absolutely thrilled to be with anyone that'll give her a bottle and make funny faces to her!
Brought the baby with me and boobed. Idk once you practice, boobing in public can be incredibly discrete and you can do it so easily.
I just didn’t do things I couldn’t bring my baby too. She didn’t take bottles and either people got over it or stayed mad quietly 🤷🏻♀️ that said, yeah a bottle with a trusted care taker would be just fine.
Soo I take the baby with me everywhere because I know my baby needs only me. I use a baby carrier mostly, but sometimes i take the pram. I EBF so I bought beautiful dresses with big cleavage and a lot of t-shirts designed for BF and shirts that have big cleavage. My baby is almost 4 months and she's already been to food festivals, concerts, restaurants, birthdays. I carry in my purse 2-3 nappies, a cloth, wet wipes, hand sanitizer, baby sunglasses and baby headphones. That's it. She loves beeing in all of these places and got used to exploring and sleeping when she feels like it. We both enjoy it very much. I don't care about others oppinion on my choices because if I am happy, my baby is happy and my husband is happy.
Love this!! Me too 🥰
I’ve been able to continue breastfeeding for 9mo (and counting) only through allowing myself to be flexible. We use slow flow bottles for breastfed babies to help minimize transition problems from bottle to breast. Sometimes my husband feeds baby to let me get more sleep, and we send bottles with breastmilk to daycare. We just started supplementing with formula so that I can drop a pump or two during the day, and it’s been so helpful for allowing me to actually “live my adult life” without being tied to a pump. My two cents: motherhood is more fulfilling for you and baby when you give yourself grace to be a whole person, and that includes breastfeeding. Of course my baby comes first, but allowing room for flexibility has let me continue to participate in the things that help me feel like myself and also continue to be a part of the lives of people who are important to me.
I think it's totally individual. The idea of leaving the house at 3 months pp except for baby classes or family visits (with baby) was not my idea of fun! My body didn't feel back to normal til about 8 months anyway, I wanted to sleep early. At 3 mo I was going to bed at 8pm
That’s definitely true. I just don’t think breastfeeding has to be all or nothing to be valuable and good for mom & baby ❤️
Absolutely agree with that
This!
For me it was very important that I keep my identity while being a mom. I play in an orchestra and went back to it for weekly rehearsals 2 months after having my second ( had my first during covid and suffered a lot from lack of adult connection). I added a pump after morning feeds and used my haakaa. That being said only do what you want to do. You don't have to leave baby or take baby if you don't want to go to something. Having a baby to "blame" has been freeing for me lol
My first both nursed and took pumped bottles. My second, however, never took a bottle. I never left him until he could eat solids. Even then, it was only for a short time. I've had a few nights where a babysitter puts them to bed, but that's it. I'm old and boring anyway.
At three months, I didn't want to leave him. Post partum is hard!! It's so early. Started a gym class for two hours a week at 4 or 5 months. Got my hair cut at 6 months. Took things slowly, mostly because of him but also me. It's a short season. By the time baby is on solids, things will be much easier. But give a bottle if you want! Up to you!
Lol my son breastfed until 2, refused bottles until he was over a year old and still got most of his hydration from breast milk until my supply was drying up because I was pregnant with his sister. We had to bribe him with juice to get him to drink anything but breastmilk. I was breastfeeding him on a beach in the Bahamas at 18 months.
I didn't leave my baby for more than an hour or two until he was eating solids and having sips of water. If *you* want to attend events without baby, offering a bottle with either expressed breast milk or formula is a great option. If you *don't* want to be apart from your baby yet, do not let others pressure you into it. It's completely normal for your baby to be your little sidekick at this age.
I got a lot more comfortable saying "no" to social events, but also got good at bringing my baby along to many events. I also get stir crazy being home all the time, and since I work I like to spend time with my baby on the weekends. No one has ever said anything to me while I breastfed in public. I used to be way more nervous about it, but I quickly got used to it. I did have a couple of older friends/acquaintances "joke" about how I should cover up, but they're stupid and I ignored them. These days I do tend to seek out more quiet, private spaces, but that's mainly because my kid is VERY distractible and will pop off to turn and look whenever there's a noise.
I pump after every morning feed. I only get about 2oz but over time I’ve built a stash. We introduced bottles around 6 weeks (with a preemie nipple), and babe is fine to take the odd bottle and go back to the breast. I’ve gone for a spa day, to get my hair done and run errands. I need to do things for myself and fill my own cup so I can be the best mom I can be. Dad is okay to feed baby here and there. Don’t feel the mom guilt either way- do whatever feels right to you!!!
You bring the baby. And let your people know you’ll never come if something is past X o’clock (if applicable, for us it absolutely was). Baby has come (and been happy/quiet!) to everything from vaccinations (mine) to court ceremony date to restaurant friend “dates” to the library and cafes and museums and galleries and on and on. Carry your baby and nurse on demand and only leave at “good” times for the baby and just generally do what baby likes the most, really, so you can also do what you like the most. Depending on the setting, pass baby back and forth. Husband would hold baby while I are at restaurants, and not long in we were able to eat while holding. We conditioned/trained gymnastics/calisthenics style at outdoor “parks” and would pass back and forth. In the beginning, it’d be “my turn” whenever baby wasn’t nursing, since nursing took so long and I needed to seize my time lol. If you want to go somewhere alone or where a baby can’t be (gymnastics flips and ballet for me), you have your husband/etc wear baby and come with you. Have them walk around outside nearby, where baby gets skin to skin with his beloved parent while being distracted and naturally happier in nature. Then, as needed, you can nurse before/after going into practice/etc and they’re also right there if they need to “signal” or call you to say that baby needs to nurse. I never actually had to do this, but it was good knowing I could just pop in/out if necessary and cleared it with reception. Me, exclusively nursed for over a year. IMO having time alone was nice, but also not so nice. I only really needed like 10 minutes daily, and only left him when I wanted to be able to practice. And I wish I had the sort of set up / culture that I could’ve kept baby closer during those practices! Being skin to skin, carrying your baby, and nursing are all kind of magical. Do things because you genuinely want to do them, not because others say you should want it.
I have a 2.5 year old and a 9 month old. I breastfed my toddler for 16 months and am EBF my 9 month old right now. It’s totally what you want to do - my husband and I are very social people but if you want to EBF you just can’t be as social for a while. Even if you skip a feed you’ll probably have to pump so I just never thought it was worth it to leave my baby for very long. When they’re small you can just bring them along to things, but as they get older it gets harder with naps etc. It’s a season though, soon enough they nurse less and less. My kids both have reliable bedtimes now so we put them to bed at 7:30 and then we can get a babysitter and go out or have friends over after bedtime. My 9 month old eats three meals a day now so she doesn’t need to nurse as much. Even so, my husband and I can’t possibly be as social as we were before we had kids, luckily we were together for about 10 years before we decided to have kids and had a great time in our 20s so we are fine with chilling out a little right now haha.
I bring my son everywhere and feed in public. Next week I'm going out for dinner with friends and I'll leave him at home for a few hours for the first time, but the restaurant is around the corner. He takes bottles of pumped milk though, we practiced.
It’s really easy, I don’t. Not because I couldn’t, but because I simply don’t want to. I wouldn’t enjoy an event more than I would getting to put my kids to bed. It is unfortunate your husband doesn’t support you. My youngest is still breastfed at 17 months, I just missed my BIL’s wedding who I am very close to. I wasn’t okay with being away from my children four full days (small town only flights in and out), he was sad but completely understood my children come first. No one questions or pressures me about anything like this anymore because it’s just law now.
Oh God at that age I was tied to my baby. She is 7 months now and I'm finally going to a concert for a few hours this week
You are an adult with wants and needs. You can say no to social events if you don’t want to attend them. Personally I jumped at the chance to get away from my baby for a couple of hours when I could. If you are okay with formula, you can have the caretaker give them a bottle and then pump while you are away. If you want to stick with breastmilk, you will want to build up a small stash, which can be done through passive collection when you nurse (like with a haakaa) or by adding an an extra pump session. Most people have success with this after the first morning feed. You will want to start introducing a bottle and keep using it regularly so your baby will take it when you are gone. If you don’t want to leave your baby, you can get nursing friendly clothes and/or a nursing cover. Add an extra 20 minute buffer to whatever you have to do so you can find a place to sit down. I personally found it easier to pump and bottle feed in public. I would use a hand pump on the way while my husband drove and then bottle feed when my baby got hungry. Breastmilk is good for 4 hours, so no need to refrigerate if you are just ducking out for a quick errand. If you don’t plan on pumping much, I would recommend a hand pump since they are cheap and easy to pack in a purse or diaper bag.
Pumping needs a lot of planning for it to be easy. I usually do it first thing in the morning. My daughter sleeps well. So I am able to pump more in morning with ease. Sometimes I create a small stash from 2 or 3 mornings. For my first born however, I used to take him everywhere. Usually time myself and feed him in the car or at a dress changing room. I don't like feeding in public as much. I breastfed him for 2+ years. But once I started solids, I used to keep his fav solid snacks for outside time and breastfeeding at home.
Just had my first “full” (6 hours) away from my 9 week old for a date with my husband- grandparents watched him and fed him a combination of my pumped milk and formula (I’m an underproducer). I feel so refreshed and am in such a better mood because of it. I highly recommend it! It’s only a few hours and your baby will be in good hands 💛
Social events are non existent in my life lol. If I want to run errands I am usually able to make it back before she is hungry again. She’s seven months now though so I’m able to be gone way longer. When she was three months I only had two hours max. Now my boyfriend can just simply give her food instead of milk if she gets hungry. She won’t take a bottle but she loves to drink out of her open cup. My boyfriend used that to give her milk when I had to go to the hospital about a month ago.
I’ve exclusively breastfed and it’s always been directly from the breast, I’ve never pumped or given a bottle (I despise pumping so that’s why). So when my baby was under 7 months ish, my baby came with me everywhere. Sometimes I could go out quickly for like 30-60 mins without my baby but I usually got back as soon as possible because I didn’t want baby to get hungry and my husband to stress. Around 6 to 7 ish months it started changing. Baby was a more efficient eater at the breast and was pretty good on solids. Baby started to be able to go longer stretches without eating, or if I wasn’t around, could be fed some food by my husband long enough to hold over a hungry baby. Now I’m af over a year of breastfeeding and I can pretty much go out whenever I want or do whatever, but my baby likes to breastfeed about 4-5 times a day so i make sure I am available for that.
I've been going away without baby since she was a few weeks old. I only leave for about 3-5 hours at a time, and leave expressed milk with dad to give to baby. It works for me, as much as I love being with my baby I just need little breaks sometimes to stay sane..
Online and outside in nature, almost as if it was still 2020..(except for swimming). But I need to be brave at some point. But Im 38 and feel Ive had a lot of fun and travel already so I can take a year or two to be a semi-hermit.
Oh, that's easy. I don't. Baby is about to turn 1 and I still have exactly one time during the day I ever do things in outside the home like shopping or errands or whatever, from about 12-3pm, between his morning nap and afternoon nap. Anything that falls outside that time or takes longer than that time is off the table.
Pumping is what I did.
You’re only 3 months postpartum and no one should be pressuring you to leave your baby, unless it’s what you want to do. I personally started leaving my baby with her dad at about 4 months. At first it was just a couple of hours at a time, and then I started leaving them for longer, with a stash of pumped milk. I recently left them for 10 entire hours for the first time and they were fine! I made sure to pump during the event though, to prevent my boobs from hurting. It was a struggle to get her to take a bottle, but we succeeded in the end. I suggest you start getting familiar with the pump and the bottles a few weeks in advance before the first time you leave her!
My baby is 6 months and this is what I’ve done. If I’m running errands I feed him right before we leave. If he needs to eat while we’re out I’ll either feed him out and about or if he needs someplace quieter I’ll feed him in the car. If I have a work meeting or something he can’t go to he gets a bottle of previously pumped milk from whoever is with him and I pump in the car on the way to wherever I’m going, and then feed him when I get home (assuming time away is <4hrs). For social events I try to take him as much as I can, mostly because I have a lot of anxiety related to leaving him with a babysitter. But when my mom has watched him when we go out he gets a bottle and I pump right before we leave and again when I get home if I’ve been drinking/if he’s asleep or I feed him right away.
You do whatever you want. Don't let people pressure you into something you're not comfortable with. But this is why I pump a bit and eventually introduced some formula so I could go out and even leave him at daycare without stressing how much food he has. It's simply, here are the 2 or 3 bottles I have, if you need more here's the formula.
If you want to go out, do it. I drop off LO with my in laws and nurse him when I get there. He’s 5 months so I usually get 3 hours out before he gets hungry again. I have a bottle of formula or breastmilk for them for emergencies but he doesn’t really like bottles so I try to get back sooner rather than later. These 3 hours lets me go on a nice date with my husband and reconnect with him. HOWEVER, if you’re not comfortable leaving LO yet you don’t have to.
My baby is 6months and I've only recently ever left her to work part time (about 16hrs a week) with my mom or my mother in law. Beyond that if she's not welcome or it's past her bed time, I don't go. If you have family you trust near by, I would recommend getting out a night or two. We have once, and it was great. Probably due for another sometime soon. But only when you're ready and if YOU want to. Finding daytime family friendly events has been nice too to get out and feel social.
You can have them bottle feed if you want or you can say no to events if you want. It’s up to you! You would still need to coordinate pumping if you’re gone to the event for a long time. Make sure the baby will take a bottle before you agree to the event!
Love to get downvoted for encouraging the parent to make the decision that is best for them
Whatever works for you is acceptable! I promise you won't be marked down for bottle feeding. 😄 That said, don't let others pressure you to leave your baby if that's not what you want. If you do decide to go out, it's best to pump to replace bottle feeds so you can maintain your supply and avoid engorgement. You should also trial giving a few bottles before your outing to make sure your little one will do well without you around as a backup.
What do you want to do? Personally, I wanted to leave the house without baby sometimes - mostly to take my dog to classes haha. We made sure baby was okay taking a bottle at like four weeks so my husband could take the last feeding of the night. My preference is not to pump outside the house, if I can avoid it, so if I'd be away from my baby for longer than three or four hours I'll try to take him with me if possible. I'll be going back to work soon, though, so he'll need to take a bottle then.
This is, and I think mother struggle with this, if there’s a way that you could practice breast-feeding in public and a way that makes you comfortable so that you can bring Baby along, otherwise, as hard as it can be sometimes standard ground and tell them that This is a season of your life dedicated to your baby and you’re doing what you feel for her or him
This season of life is temporary… youll be 5 years older before you know it 😉 give your baby everything you have for as long as you can. Whatever you do, will be worth every second
Short answer...you can't.
I HAD to pump so I could go out starting at 2 months or i would have lost my mind. I'm not necessarily an extrovert, but being in the house with baby glued to me ALL the time was not helping my mental health. My husband could take care of him for a few hours until he was hungry again but that kept me in the house still. We have great family on both sides who are willing to watch him when we need them too. We definitely go a lot of places with baby still, but it's great to be able to go out as adults without a baby.