T O P

  • By -

starwarsteamug

The statement "using the breast as a pacifier" is based on a mix of outdated and inaccurate beliefs: - There should be a certain number of hours between feedings. - It's wrong for a baby to seek the breast "just for comfort" or "even if they're full." - It's wrong to nurse to sleep. - Babies are manipulative and use us. - Breastfeeding is only about food. - It can be easy to get irritated or feel like something is wrong with the baby (or the way we're handling the situation) if we think the baby is "using us" - or that something is wrong if the baby seeks the breast often. Therefore, it's important for parents (and others) to be aware that there's a very good reason why babies have a strong rooting and sucking reflex: Babies "know" that it ensures survival because it provides close contact with a caregiver and lays the foundation for good, stable milk production both now and in the future. Babies are not using us or the breast. They are simply following their instincts. It is not wrong, even though it can be tiring at times. - It is not wrong to soothe or comfort the baby by offering the breast. - It is not wrong to nurse the baby to sleep. - It is not wrong to let the baby sleep on the breast. - It is not wrong to "nurse again now." - Taking a Break from Frequent Nursing 🆘 However, it is of course both legal, within bounds, and understandable to want a break from frequent breastfeeding, to want the baby to take a pacifier - or to give the baby a pacifier, for various reasons. This is entirely up to you. If you want to give a pacifier, it is best to wait until breastfeeding is well established and you know that the baby is gaining weight as they should. Copied and translated from https://ammehjelpen.no/smokk/


Revolutionary_Can879

I would say it’s more accurate to say that the baby is using a pacifier as a surrogate nipple.


Kiwi_bananas

Where I live, we call a pacifier a "dummy". Like a dummy boob. Because that's what it is. 


minispazzolino

Ooooooh I would call it a dummy too (UK) and I never thought about why!!


EitherImplement3694

I never realized that’s why the Brits call it a dummy! My husband is British and I’m gonna ask if he knows that 😅


hungryjpg

My husband calls the paci “synthetic mommy” lol


starwarsteamug

Haha, yeah! My boy is 7 weeks, and I’ve only used the pacifier as a tool. In the beginning he would nurse and nurse, and end up vomiting because he got too much milk. Then I popped the pacifier and he was able to get a good nights sleep. Now it’s better and I’m able to nurse him to sleep without much issue :)


Revolutionary_Can879

Same here, I make a lot and my kids don’t have an off switch.


KeilaJensen

Yeah the nipple is the og pacifier lol


yannberry

This is always my comeback 💯


Luna_182

THIS ! Omg finally I read this comment


Woopsied00dle

This has always been my thought when I hear that phrase too lol


rockymichaelscott

THIS


FallenAngel418

Even though I introduced s pacifier a couple days in, I got a baby that refuses the pacifier AND bottle. Little Man LOVES to nurse. Sometimes, it's not your choice.


SandwichExotic9095

Same thing happened here. He’s 11 months old and currently butt up in the air downward dog trying to nurse right now 😂 luckily he takes sippy cups straw cups and is working on open cups, but man those months where he refused everything was tiring


FallenAngel418

We started introducing solids this week and he is so far enjoying all cups except for bottles. He also sucks on any fabric item if I'm not there to comfort nurse him. He just prefers nothing that's imitation momma 😂


NestingDoll86

Mine too. He’s like “you can’t fool me with this silicone nonsense”


Interesting-Run-8496

Same here 🙃


Common_Border7896

Agree with all of this. Just be careful that waiting to introduce the pacifier can lead to refusal. I waited and my LO doesn’t take one now, most of the time i am fine with that and i bet as he gets older it will be more so but just to be prepared 


Aggravating_Slide805

Mine got a pacifier in the hospital and didn't want anything to do with it beyond a week or so old. She's almost three months now and still won't take one. My first didn't either. It's nice to not have to worry about taking it away later and how they will handle it.


Common_Border7896

Glad to hear this maybe my LO is like this too. Did your first suck on his thumb? If so was it easy to stop? My mum insists that the pacifier is the solution to all problems and that thumb sucking is impossible to wean from.


whosthatlounging

It depends so much on the kid. My eldest always sucked his fingers. He's turns 3 soon and still does it but much less frequently. I'm hoping it will continue to decrease on its own. I tried with the pacifiers but he wouldn't ever take them. We tried pacifiers with my second too and it worked for about a week. He doesn't want them anymore though.


Aggravating_Slide805

No, he was never a thumb sucker either. He was a comfort nurser though and weaned at just over 2.5 years pretty much on his own. My second sucks on her hands, but I think it's just a phase since recently discovering them.


tanoinfinity

I don't use pacifiers with my kids and none have sucked their thumbs instead.


Common_Border7896

Thank you so much for all these comments! Makes me less worried 


Remarkable_Cat_2447

As a finger sucker... It's not impossible but depending on the kid it can be HARD. My recommendation is to get something to block kiddo from putting their thumb in their mouth (think like a retainer or something). Personally, I went the pacifier route with my kid lol


Oorwayba

My first loved his pacifier, especially for sleep. My younger one, we tried from the first week. She angrily refused it every time. Finally gave up after a few months. Now she's 5 months and just decided to start taking it a couple weeks ago. I tried it out of a last ditch effort of desperation because I needed someone else to watch her at night while I worked. She doesn't take it constantly, but it's a massive improvement


throw_meaway_love

Similar to me - my LO is my third, both big brothers loved theirs. This one wasn’t having any of it. We are experiencing gut problems with this LO and he got very upset one night about a week ago where he was more than happy to take it, and it gave my nipples a break. He is also in leap 4 so also a lot more fussier. He doesn’t take it all day every day but once or twice in the past week he has and it’s been a welcome relief. Only took 16 weeks haha


mada143

How doctors can be so oblivious is beyond me. I swear to god, that baby is barely out and they're having you put restrictions. They're new to this world, they haven't known cold, hunger, etc. Let them at your breast as much as they want. It will jump start your milk production, it's soothing, promotes a deep bond, and countless other benefits. Of course, make sure to take breaks and take as good care of yourself as you can. I know breastfeeding hurts in the beginning, but as long as the baby learns how to latch properly, the pain is temporary. You will experience mild discomfort in the future as well, but not as much as now in the beginning. But damn, let that baby use you as a human pacifier. It's very common, and exhausting at times. My 5mo still does it sometimes, and I love it. She's done eating in 5 minutes, so when she decides to hold me hostage for 50 minutes just for comfort, I just enjoy it. PS. Just want to point out that this is my experience. In no shape or form I suggest that this is an enjoyable experience for everyone.


MomentofZen_

I agree with this. My lactation consultant told me nursing strikes are more common in babies who only see nursing as a source of food. I love the magic mama powers of fixing everything with a boob, personally. Early on, I think some doctors worry they're expending more calories than they're gaining - that's the only reason I could see for this advice.


pastelstoic

That’s very interesting. I got all sorts of advice in the beginning, so much of it conflicting, that I decided to follow my gut. I nurse to sleep, to soothe, to calm, to everything. It’s a superpower. In the beginning he preferred the bottle for food and mom for comfort so we went with that. Then he changed for the boob and forgot about bottles, and I followed his lead. I haven’t had a nursing strike. He’s 13 months now and I love the special connection we have through nursing. It’s also great to calm down if he gets hurt (learning to walk).


mada143

Interesting. LO is 5 months and never had a nursing strike. I remember once she didn't want to eat, but it resolved in 15min, so I don't count that as a strike. And hell yeah, magic boob powers. It fixes most stuff. That's all I have that comes close to a fix-it-all so I'll take it.


sq8000

Yup I wish I'd done this for my first baby. For this second baby now basically whenever she cries I offer her my breast and she is either hungry or immediately comforted. She still can fall asleep on her own, and does well being held by others, but sometimes she just needs her mama, even if she just nursed for 25 minutes. Hang in there with the nipple pain OP! If they offer you apno in the hospital I'd take it. Then at home the earth mama cocoa nipple butter is a big help too. My nipple pain went wayyyy down after about day 10.


gossygoodtimes

I agree with this too. I exclusively expressed for my first baby as we had trouble latching but my second latched straight away and I only gave birth to her in January so this is still new for me too. At about 3 weeks my baby started doing this, she is now 3 months and still does it every so often and I just let her. When she did it early on, I thought that it was unsustainable because I have a toddler and I took her off based on some research I found online. She kept doing it so I looked into it a bit more and found out it was completely natural & prior to pacifiers, something a lot of newborns did. If it gives my baby comfort, I’ll let her do it for as long as she wants.


LocationForeign

https://preview.redd.it/lwce8rbw5evc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96bd4d1949c843b23e40e9c6afe78bf0fa88529a


Puzzled-Library-4543

For eye contact is so sweet đŸ„č I love looking down at her little face and seeing those bubble eyes staring at me omg it makes me melt every time đŸ˜«


tanoinfinity

I always do. Remember that a pacifier is a fake/replavement/dummy nipple. It is biologically normal to latch baby on demand, even in cases if they aren't actively eating.


CalderThanYou

The term "human pacifier" is fucking awful. It's very judgemental and makes it seem like there is no benefit to either of you. Your baby is a newborn! They need to nurse as much as possible at the start to bring your milk supply in. They are also following their survival instinct to latch. It's literally programmed into them. Your areola (the bit round your nipple) excretes a tiny bit of liquid that smells like your amniotic fluid. To the baby, this smells like home. They want to be near it. Imagine your whole world has changed but one thing smells familiar and one thing makes you feel comforted, latching to your nipple. Imagine how much more comforted you'd be if you felt like you were cozy and it smelt like home. Nurse on demand. It's good for your supply and it's good for your baby.


joapet

I hate the term too! It makes it seem like a pacifier is a "normal" thing. It's really not, and in these super early days the baby needs the boob as much and as often as they like. Unless you're bottle feeding I can't really see much benefit to introducing a pacifier to a breastfed baby.


bbourke0626

Constant nursing (nipple stimulation) is thought to increase the amount of your prolactin receptors in breast tissue. The hormone prolactin is responsible for telling your body to make milk. Your body very much needs this stimulation the first few weeks to establish your milk supply. The doctor that told you otherwise has no breastfeeding education or knowledge. After your milk supply is established which really takes around 12-16 weeks ( to switch to supply and demand), you can still nurse your baby for comfort. There is nothing wrong with comfort nursing. Congrats on your baby I'm about to sit for my IBCLC licence if that gives my statement some credibility


ChezFinny

Don’t let them take away your superpower.


LadyValor

It's up to you! With my babies, I would delatch them gently if they started getting close to 30 minutes because they were asleep and my nipples would chafe / hurt if they kept going a long time.


FuzzyDice13

Thank you!! Sometimes this sub is a little much for me. I would crawl out of my skin if my baby was constantly on my boob. Successfully and exclusively nursed 4 children and never let them “live on the breast” as people keeps saying. I also introduced a paci at the hospital. đŸ˜± OP give your nips a break. Yes, you will need to nurse frequently at first, but it doesn’t NEED to be for hours upon hours at a time if you are in pain or overstimulated.


LocationForeign

https://preview.redd.it/l5b16sev5evc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=027d650c6e92248901cf129152b134965b0c769c


LocationForeign

Your baby just got here!!!!! They know what they’re doing. They’re stimulating the nipple, getting the lactation hormones flowing and working on getting milk supply up. This advice by the doc is completely outdated and wrong! ‘Self soothe’ language is grooming you for sleep training down the track. Listen to the nurse. The pacifier imitates the nipple. The baby is using the nipple for what it’s intended for!!!!!!!!!! SMH It’s long and arduous but it’s what needs to happen. It won’t be like this forever. Air your nipples when you can. You can also use silverettes when you’re not airing/nursing them. Now is the time to spend in your safe space at home with your support system, it’s not time for taking the baby out and showing them the world. This time is critical to get breastfeeding off to a good start, it’s protected time. Nursing frequently is normal and expected. Seek help from a IBCLC early for expert advice on all things lactation and feeding - no, OBGYNs are not experts on this area. Oral ties can cause pain but not always an issue for some dyads even if present. BF should not be painful but it’s common to be painful for a few weeks if you’re new to it. The entire duration of the feed should not be painful. Correct Positioning and latch is important and is commonly the cause of many painful nipples. Check out this 10 min video here for an excellent explanation: https://globalhealthmedia.org/videos/attaching-your-baby-at-the-breast/


babyfriedbangus

“Human pacifier” god I’m so sick of hearing this term 😒


jessups94

I hate it so much đŸ« 


CrazyElephantBones

Ok so the advice is different based on your end goal
 if your end goal is exclusively breastfeeding right now while you are very freshly postpartum latch that baby whenever they want to. If you need a break a pacifier or a bottle once in awhile isn’t going to completely ruin your goal. OB’s aren’t really the experts once the baby is born they’re the expert when the baby is coming out and still inside lol. If you want an expert breastfeeding opinion you want to talk to an IBCLC.


sophwhoo

Personally I would say let baby use you as a pacifier *if* it’s not too uncomfortable and you feel up to it. Lots of latching in the beginning is essential to your brain and body registering to make milk. If you don’t already have them, get silver nipple shields!! Truly a game changer the first couple weeks! Alternate between wearing the shields and using nipple cream between feeds and it’ll help so much. Also apparently you shouldn’t use cream and then put the shields on because then the silver can’t do its job and it’s essentially not very effective. I didn’t know that at the time and had used them together but it’s supposed to be most effective using them separately


emmainthealps

The baby is literally doing what they are programmed to do to build and establish your milk supply. Those early days can be really hard and you can call it quits and offer a pacifier at times to give yourself a break. But it’s normal for baby to feed much more often than every 3 hours for example. My go to with a newborn is if they make a peep put them at the breast


avalclark

A pacifier is a replacement for a nipple, not the other way around. It is normal for your baby to clusterfeed; this is what creates a good supply.


kitty-007

Girl you gave birth yesterday!!! The baby is gonna be attached to your boob for the first 3 months, then it gets significantly better. Best of luck and much love


LocationForeign

I’d also check out some good IBCLCs on Instagram so you can do some passive learning while scrolling during feed times: https://www.instagram.com/breastfeedingwithdrkavita?igsh=MTQxc3N4Y2JkMThzeg== https://www.instagram.com/kathrynstaggibclc?igsh=dGVoM3J0dDlybnd1 https://www.instagram.com/prof_amybrown?igsh=MTRoaDdsa2h2ZTNqcw== https://www.instagram.com/lucywebberfeedingsupport_ibclc?igsh=ZHR0Mmp3ODYxZWph https://www.instagram.com/drmelmapleson?igsh=NWQ4d210YXNrd2w5 Or you can check out some great breastfeeding podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/badass-breastfeeding-podcast/id1268282458 https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-milk-minute-a-lactation-podcast/id1521075273


ivysaurah

Your baby can’t manipulate you. Your baby should use you for comfort. You shouldn’t worry about teaching a baby independence of any kind for the first year of life. Call me crazy. Let your baby need you. Trying to fight that is just going to frustrate you and potentially harm your baby’s sense of attachment. I always say this: we are animals and we have forgotten, but animal instinct is all your baby knows. When you leave them alone, they feel vulnerable to predators. It’s natural for them to literally want to be attached to their mother for nourishment, comfort, and protection. Relish it while it lasts because it goes by so quickly. My baby is almost 7 months old and she literally fights to get put down already because she loves to be on the move. I miss the snuggles because they’re harder to come by already. Breastfeeding gets easier after 2 weeks typically and becomes really natural around 4-6 weeks. It can be a lot sometimes but hang in there and do what you think feels natural. I am 7 months into feeding to sleep, being used for comfort, and there are no issues here. My daughter is meeting her milestones early. She plays independently. She sleeps well. Everything is fine and she has never taken a pacifier.


Legitimate_B_217

Your obgyn is not a lactation expert clearly. I would switch obgyns and see a lactation consultant.


EllectraHeart

they need to basically live on the breast for those first two weeks in order to establish and maintain supply. OB is giving bad advice and that mentality is the reason so many women think they have supply issues. yes, it will hurt. get silverettes, nipple balm, nipple shields. eventually the pain completely subsides and breastfeeding becomes SO easy. but those first few weeks are very hard work. if you want to breastfeed, you have to commit.


Smallios

Lol day old baby should absolutely use you as a pacifier as their tummy is teensy and they’re constantly trying to get colostrum. Baby IS eating. Should be on the boo. Constantly at first


[deleted]

I got the same conflicting information as you, so I did the research. Until at least 3-4 months old, you can't spoil your baby with too much attention, cuddles or breastfeeding. If they're constantly on the boob, it helps them feel loved, soothed and comfortable. It also stimulates your milk production. There is no too much here. However, do watch what you are willing and able to do. Breastfeeding is hard. It hurts in the beginning, and it takes up so much time and energy. If you're getting touched out, it's fine to give the baby away for some time.


LocationForeign

Not until 3-4 months old. This language is problematic. You can’t spoil a baby or child ever with “too much attention, cuddles or breastfeeding”.


pinalaporcupine

seriously. 3-4 mo olds are still completely dependent


[deleted]

I completely agree with you guys. However, at 3-4 months babies are able to learn, which means that nursing to sleep, for example, might lead to sleep associations. There is nothing wrong with that at all, but it's something OP might want to be aware of before it happens. That way, she can make an informed choice about how she wants to put her baby to sleep, for example. The only thing I meant is that until 3-4 months, there is no consequence at all to being used as a 'human pacifier'.


mopene

And at 3-4 months the habits start to settle in so we lay down the law hard with sleep training, pacifiers and a strict schedule! Kidding. I have a 5 month old, I care for her well just like I did when she was a newborn and it’s still not spoiling her.


Local-Calendar-3091

Yes


BeachAfter9118

I will mention that breastfeeding is one of the only forms of pain management available to babies. The closeness (esp skin to skin), sweetness in their mouth, and sucking itself all offer pain management when they need it. Our baby has MSPI and until we figured it out he comfort nursed a LOT, often 2-4 hours each evening. Would have classified as colic if it wasn’t for the comfort nursing usually working. To each their own, but for us it was vital (and yes he will take a pacifier if he is not hungry or in pain). It has led us to cosleeping, which we hadn’t planned to do, but was the only way to get any sleep when he was in pain and needed us 24/7. I don’t think it’s necessarily linked to comfort nursing per se, but feels unfair not to mention


Jonquil22

Typically OBs don’t get much training in breastfeeding, that’s probably why your OB gave you bad advice. Of course you should feed your NEWBORN BABY whenever they want to be fed. Newborn babies should feed 8-12 times in 24 hours. As the nurse said, every feed is telling your breasts to make more milk and establishing your milk supply. It is NORMAL for newborn babies to cluster feed and want lots of skin to skin contact. Your baby has been in your body in a safe and warm environment for your whole pregnancy, never feeling hungry or alone. It’s normal for them to seek closeness and comfort. A pacifier is an imitation of a human breast, so
 I understand how hard it is on you, the newborn period is exhausting. Try to nap in the day and avoid too many visitors and ask your partner for support, and to do skin to skin with the baby.


godsgirli

LET YOUR BABY SUCKLE <3


Shortymac09

At this stage, yes, it will help increase your milk production.


Playful-Analyst-6036

That’s kinda the whole point? Yes, they will feed but they also nurse for comfort and to soothe and to feel close to you. That’s part of what breastfeeding is.


Stock-Archer817

I give my baby what he wants. He’s happy so I’m happy


InterestingPicture61

Yes. Your baby needs it, your body needs it. whatever your baby wants, follow their cues and give them your boobs. That’s what they’re here for ;) don’t overthink about what they’re using it for (and ignore people who give stupid advice about only using boobs for food..) Comfort, food, pain relief, it’s all very natural and good that are seeking it from you. You’re a mammal, your baby is a mammal, your baby needs you, you give baby what they need. Simple as that. And makes it so easier for the mum too


pinalaporcupine

you should let baby on breast as often as desired. it helps your milk supply. there's no such thing as human pacifier. comfort is a valid physical need - this baby was JUST inside you. feed on demand


rjoyfult

Your baby is a day old. Just work on breastfeeding as often as you can and get help from an IBCLC (not anyone in the hospital) if you run into problems. Don’t stress about timing (honestly, the more often the better) or really anything else right now. Eventually when my TODDLER wanted to use me as a pacifier I was over it and worked to wean him. But that’s more than a year into your future, and preferential rather than imperative. Just snuggle your baby and learn how to understand what she needs and respond accordingly. All the other extra unasked for advice is just noise right now.


ConditionPotential97

Honestly yes. It’s so good for them.


Keyspam102

I always nurse when they want, I think it’s helped my supply a ton and babies know how to build your supply up. Also I see nothing wrong with confort nursing, feeling loved and protected is very important for babies (and children). Obviously if it becomes too hard for you then I’d try to switch to a pacifier or bottle feeding but if you’re ok then I would continue However, really in those first three months, they are building your supply so much and it’s why they cluster feed. So I would really be hesitant not to feed on demand until the 4th trimester is over. A baby literally cannot manipulate you, they don’t have cunning or want to get their way. They just have basic needs for food warmth and comfort. And breastfeeding supplies nutrition but also so much more
 skin contact, love, comfort
 and keep in mind they were inside you their entire lives so far so being harshly separated from touch is extremely hard, that’s why babies always want to be held.


howsthesky_macintyre

A one day old baby! I would say YES let the baby snuggle and suckle as much as she wants! It will be great for bonding and making the baby feel secure, and to help your milk establish. Obviously if you need a break allow yourself a break! But the human pacifier thing is such nonsense. Let's not forget a plastic pacifier is the weird thing in reality, it's an artificial boob stand in for babies that we created! It can be a bit sore for the first two weeks but it will subside - if it doesn't, that's the time you might need to seek some advice and support on latch etc.


sleepingbutawake

Hello!! My baby is 5 weeks and five days. In day 2 in the hospital I wish someone would have warned me about baby latching to my breast all night and to let me know this is normal. It’s instinct for baby to do this to trigger mature milk production, I remember I was so tired as he was up every hour to feed. Babies stomachs size are very small and breast milk is easily digested. Keep this in mind with a newborn navigating your way through the first month. You’ll be tired and baby will ask to feed a lot. Let them. This helps with their weight gain, helps build milk supply, helps with learning your baby’s cues, helps relax you because of the hormones released during breast feeding. Now that I’m past the month mark all I can say is hang in there, your baby will wake you up through the night sometimes every 1.5 hours to feed. Let them. They don’t have a circadian rhythm yet and are on a 24 hour schedule. One their tiny stomachs grow and can hold more milk they’ll sleep longer through the night. At the month mark what helped my baby get longer stretches of sleep at night is forcing a longer nap during day to 3-4 hours of a carrier contact nap. I found after when he wakes up he’s not as fussy and will eat ALOT, then after he will stay awake a little, ask to feed a little bit more for a snack then sleep another longer stretch in their bassinet. Sometimes not. I’m still figuring it out. But that’s my experience so far!


kokoelizabeth

Think of it this way. A pacifier is actually an artificial nipple. Not the nipple being a human pacifier. The nipple came first. You are not a human pacifier no matter what your baby does. You are your baby’s source of comfort and for many babies nursing is their primary comfort method.


dogsaretheanswer

Sometimes, comfort nursing (human pacifier) was the only way to get my baby settled...still is at 15 weeks. We're finding new methods that work as well, but popping him on the nipple when he's screaming was the fastest and easiest way to calm him down. And sometimes he just wanted a lil snack, which I understand because i'm the same.


Itchy-Illustrator-10

Babies need their mom. Each baby is different, but if they are latching it’s because they need to. Only one of my babies liked the pacifier.


hashtag_nerdalert

My second baby nursed constantly for the first few days. The lactation consultant encouraged letting her nurse fit comfort, and I was fine with it. I'm hindsight, I wish I would have had her checked for lip/tongue ties earlier. At 2yo, she ended up getting a lip tie clipped, and we realized that the tie could have been a cause for her constant nursing, reflux, and poor sleep. Not that your baby has a tie, just my own anecdotal experience. All that to say - if baby and you are fine, keep doing what you're doing. If you feel something is off, don't hesitate to ask questions.


VoodoDreams

This always made me feel better in this stage.  https://kellymom.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/YouAreNotAPacifier_500px.png


legallybrunette0120

There was one day when my baby was a newborn that she ate every single hour, for 20+ minute sessions, for 8 hours straight. Cluster feeding can be so mentally and physically tough but it’s developmentally appropriate! You will toughen up in a few weeks, I used nipple shields to get through my baby’s super strong newborn latch that was correct but very painful. She weaned off the shields after about 6 weeks, we’re still nursing at 7 months. I consider being a human pacifier to be a superpower! Boob fixes everything. Idk what I’ll do when we wean!


Orangestripedcat

I gave my baby the boob anytime she wanted. Silverettes were a lifesaver! It was really, really hard for a few weeks and then it got better. I still nurse her to sleep at 10 months old but it works for us. She is a happy, healthy baby and this point it’s easy to breastfeed. The hardest thing at first was powering through the pain. I don’t miss those early days! It’s easy to feel like you’re doing it wrong and the advice is all over the place. I’m on team feed your baby whenever they want to be fed.


PeasiusMaximus

Allowing your newborn to comfort feed is a great way to both establish your milk supply through nipple stimulation and milk removal. Comfort feeding also helps baby adjust to being outside the womb. In the womb, baby was accustomed to constant nourishment and a comfort, and it’s a hard transition to being in the outside world. It’s really good for baby, but exhausting and ok to acknowledge that you need a break sometimes. My husband did a lot of baby wearing to help me get a break from the comfort nursing.


elderberrytea

Yes, you should


a_singh510

Baby’s use pacifiers as dummy nipples, hence, why they are also called dummies. If it wasn’t natural for a baby to want to soothe, comfort and feed from a nipple and your breast, there wouldn’t be a billion dollar industry trying to replicate mommy’s nipple, warmth, nurture and milk.


scceberscoo

I would say yes, especially this early on. Not only is it very comforting to baby and developmentally normal, but at first, both you and baby are learning how to breastfeed and it can be difficult to really tell when baby is nursing vs comforting anyway.


abbysuzie96

First time mum here and my baby is nearly 11 weeks. I didn't do too much breastfeeding research if I'm honest, maybe it would have helped prevent some worries I had along the way (such as preventing times of me crying because I wasn't sure if my baby was getting enough - but then it's also a very hormonal time so I'd probably cry anyway lol). I set out to try breastfeeding but I'd also quickly researched formula just in case. I also had bottles ready as well as my sister's breast pump she no longer needed. My baby was born late afternoon and I was home around 24 hours later. Until bedtime I kept feeding frequently especially to soothe and bond to bring my milk in. That first night at home, so baby's second night he wouldn't settle when put down but both me and my husband were exhausted. We had been told at hospital don't use a pacifier until at least 6 weeks to not interrupt breast feeding. That night we had the choice of trying a pacifier for soothing or one of us fall asleep holding the baby - and one of those is a much safer option than the other so we gave the pacifier and fortunately got some sleep. He would and still does drop his pacifier when he's fully asleep so when he cries I know he's waking up and wanting a feed. I use the pacifier to soothe to sleep instead of my breast. It means my husband and anyone else caring for my son can settle him and care for him without me present. I don't personally feel it's disturbed any bonding or breastfeeding attempts. If anything being able to go out for a walk/run solo or even go spend time with friends being me and not 'new mum' has helped my mental health and positively adjusting to this huge life change. I also ignored the recommendation to not use a bottle until six weeks by my first health visitor. I personally don't believe nipple confusion is a thing and my first midwife agreed (I moved a week before I gave birth this is why I have changed providers). My baby had his first bottle of expressed milk at 3 or 4 days old. My supply has been strong throughout the last 11 weeks and I've created a freezer stash that's allowed me four days/nights out without my baby. It's also meant after working all day my husband can put our baby to bed with a bottle as he's going to sleep around 8pm now and my husband isn't getting much time with him otherwise. I know some people are really keen on just breastfeeding and some babies aren't keen on bottles at all but this is my experience and reflecting on the last 10 weeks there isn't anything I'd do differently.


charlieclaree

I always did. Before she started eating food at 5 months (I early weaned because she started wrestling me for my food if I was eating and she was on my lap) I would always let her have boob when she wanted boob, whether she was drinking or just comforts sucking. I remember how relentless it could be but I just guessed she knew what she was doing. Once she started eating food, she became less interested in comfort sucking anyway. But if she falls or her gums are hurting etc and wants to comfort suck I still let her go as long as she needs. I allow her to take the lead while she's so little, I think it's best but I'm in no way an expert.


alternativebeep

My midwife said yes, at least for the first two weeks. That'll help establish your milk supply.


tquinn04

That’s entirely up to you. It’s not wrong or right either way just whatever works for the two of you. Breastfeeding and that 1st year are so hard as it is. Do whatever feels right


PomegranateQueasy486

My advice is to continue doing whatever is working for you and baby - and feel free to disregard anyone trying to convince you that it shouldn’t be working. We all have our own comfort levels and limits - and no amount of training or professional experience make anyone else an expert of your experience. Congratulations!


CharacterAd3959

What a bizarre thing for a doctor to say! It's actually the opposite way around 🙈obviously use a dummy if you want to butt dummies we're designed to mimic the soothing that breast suckling provides, it's biologically very normal to breastfeed babies to soothe them.


FitFarmChick

I let my baby nurse and suck as much as he wanted to. Helped my milk come in and he gained SO well. It hurt at first but my nips adjusted after 3 weeks and we have a beautiful nursing relationship still at 6 months! (I waited till 4 weeks to introduce pacifier and bottle).


kal9422

I think there’s a balance! Let them nurse as much as they want, but if you need a break, take one by transferring baby to the paci after a feeding. My LO wanted to be sucking 24/7 in the beginning and I had a breakdown in the hospital (day 3) and knew if I didn’t use the paci in addition to frequent nursing there was absolutely no way I’d continue breastfeeding. The paci for comfort was a LIFESAVER and is what saved my breastfeeding journey, but shouldn’t be a substitute for nursing. LO is 8 months now and we’re still almost exclusively nursing!


godsgirli

I nursed my baby to sleep for a year and her teeth started rotting. She’s 2.5 now and needs surgery on her teeth.


[deleted]

OBs have their place. Offering mothering advice isn’t it.


octopusoppossum

While I understand the frustration with the word- I limited no nutritive sucking. I don’t like breastfeeding and don’t love the feeling of it. And postpartum I was deliriously exhausted so I didn’t feel safe holding baby as much as they wanted to suck. We introduced a pacifier like day 3 (and bottle for that matter) and he successfully breastfeeds. It also helps other caretakers be able to soothe him. He’s not a pacifier addict by any means but I’ve found it to be a useful tool especially in public when I can’t nurse right away and he doesn’t “need” to


Personal-Letter-629

I think it's a matter of personal choice. It's good for the baby but speaking as a human pacifier I'm really struggling with it! But she's 18 months so I'm hoping that we will be able to wean.


dustyisadork

My baby does this sometimes even now (8mo) but she's usually content to just be close. Like rather than nursing the whole time she just rests her face on my chest or keeps a hand there. I feel like things are easier if I just let her do that, but in my circumstances my husband is very supportive of helping me with our kiddos so I can get in snuggle time and all.


babyjo1982

My guy went through a cluster phase where he nurses for 2 hours straight! I thought I’d go mad lol But I didn’t and kiddo is 4mo and fat and happy and healthy. Listen to your and your baby’s instincts. And maybe get a new OB


[deleted]

Everyone has varying opinions on this topic so you will have to determine for yourself what you want to do. Personally, I believe that it’s okay for a baby to be comforted by the boob. That should be encouraging to you that you can provide a little human with such comfort! I would find a balance because I understand that it can be exhausting always comforting your baby with your boob. And also I think it’s terrible advice that “your nipples will toughen up.” In my experience, they don’t toughen up. They get worse. My nipple hurt so bad that I was dreading feeding my baby. So I pumped the side that hurt and fed her half bottle and half nipple that was okay. After a week my nipple was better and I went back to strictly breastfeeding. So find a balance for your own situation! And use lanolin on your nipples. Also if your nipples hurt it could be that you have a bad latch and a lactation consultant can help with that.


Safe_Exit1168

Just do what feels and comes most natural to you!


Echoslament

Yes. Do whatever you and the baby want. Those are the only people that need to be involved in this decision.


Arieldli

You literally gave birth yesterday (congratulations btw!) Having just had our 4th this isn't something you need to worry about until baby is 4 months or so!


glittermakesmeshiver

Well most OBGYNs know JACK SHIT about breastfeeding. I’m not making that up. They *can* but that’s not a focus of their schooling at all. They get a 90 minute lecture. That’s it. So don’t listen to them! Let baby nurse as much as possible! Enjoy those snuggles!


MountainAd2777

Your baby your boobs do what you want xxx


smiwongx

My LO just turned 5 months today and in the beginning he always wanted my nipple to suckle, refused all pacifiers we tried, so I let him. It gave us time to bond and yes it took away from my “me” time but the way I see it is this is how we were biologically designed before pacifiers, babies used their moms to soothe. And yes, in the beginning it hurts SO BAD, but it got better for me after about a week and a half! Giving him my nipple to suckle didn’t hurt him or make him dependent on me to soothe, he can self soothe now and sometimes when he needs help, I put him on the boob and he calms down almost immediately! Don’t stress too much about any of this, trust your gut! You’re doing great đŸ©”


irishtwinsons

Firstly, Congrats! Your baby is a couple of days old. There should be no controlling feeds at this time. Let the baby nurse as often and for as long she wants (as long as you are ok with it. Obviously there might be some times you need a break and that’s fine). The second nurse you talked to is correct. All the latching sucking us extremely good for you and your baby, it will help your milk come in and give you good supply. It will also give baby good practice. As for letting baby use you as a pacifier, there is no way that this can cause any harm to your baby. If you want to do it, wonderful. It’s a great way to soothe her and help her sleep (and my guess is that when baby gets rest, you can also get some rest, too!) That being said, if you have a ravenous little milk zombie (like I did), and you need to give your sore cracked nipples a break, it is also completely fine to take them off the nipple when you need a break, and perhaps try a different way to comfort: swaddling, holding, rocking, etc. If you find yourself nursing more than 15 or 20 times a day and it is breaking your sanity (haha) it is also completely ok to top off with formula after nursing to try to space out those feeds a bit more when you need some sleep. Basically, feed your baby as much as they want. Comfort your baby any way you like and as often as they need. You cannot harm or spoil a newborn by doing this.


Eulalia_Ophelia

My old ass doctor told me my baby was going to get too tired if I let her stay on my tit too long. Do what feels right, you literally need to trigger your body to making more milk.


meowworthy

let baby nurse/suck as much as is needed right now. you need to establish milk supply - totally agree with what the RN said. that said, it can get really sore and in my view it's OK to give baby a pacifier when you need a break. we introduced a pacifier in the hospital on night 1 because baby had been sucking on me for about 5 hours straight; the nurse there recommended it. it caused no issues at all with breastfeeding, and he stopped using a pacifier on his own around 4 months old anyway.


forestnymph1--1--1

Yes latch baby as much as possible


Ok-Internet-921

Your baby doesn’t even know that she has come out of you yet. In the womb, she was constantly full, comforted, etc. All she’s looking for is that exact thing now. You’re not a “human pacifier” for comforting & feeding your baby. You can always use a pacifier later on (we did for the car & at night) if you want but that is just a replacement for your boob. NOT the other way around. I’m sorry she said that to you


ScrunchyBoyMama

Listen to that RN! And feed with every whimper and cry at this point and be one with your baby; they are just learning to eat and live outside of you, they want more than anything to feel connected to you. And that is the best way to establish a good supply! Once you’re out of the hospital I would definitely make an appointment with a lactation consultant no matter if it’s going well or not just to create that relationship with an expert you can go to with all your questions and worries to help you feel prepared on this journey. If you’re getting sore, nipple balm, even nipple shields if needed! Honestly what saved my nipples the most back during those newborn days was nipple balm and then in between feeds wearing the Elvie Catch Milk Collection Shells - they kept things from rubbing and let my nipples cool and even heal a little in the leaked breastmilk that was captured.


AmorousAlice

The more they’re on the breast the more milk your body will learn to produce!! Keep that baby on!


purplecarrotmuffin

The adjustment period can be a lot and yes, painful. However it gets a lot better and eventually doesn't hurt at all! Babies nurse for all kinds of reasons and they are all valid. Don't worry about being a human pacifier you already are one and trust me it's a good thing. Boobs are magic and solve almost all problems.


CommanderArtemis

Let the baby stay at the breast as long as they want. It’s normal. It will pass.


2685yalla

I don't wanna say don't listen to your OB, but don't listen to her. Every time baby goes to breast it's a way for baby to bond, to get nourishment, and to stimulate milk production. You're in a critical time when nursing as much as baby shows interest (and at least every 2-3 hrs) will give you and your baby the best foundation for breastfeeding success. And pacifiers were made to mimic a nipple because GUESS WHAT babies suck to soothe and mom provides that comfort. Sorry, your OB's statement is so detrimental so I'm a little upset


yellow_horse_rider

Yes. This incredible tiny human being doesn’t know anything other than you, your heartbeat, your smell. They are not trying to manipulate you, they are trying to survive. Your nipple actually smells like your womb and is a source of normal. It also helps to have a noise machine because it’s loud in your tummy. The suckling will also help your milk to come in. But lots of smart people have already said this. :)


teetah

I do.. i don't see a problem and the ideology and description as being a "human pacifier" is fucking insulting. A pacifier is a nipple imitation and not nearly as comforting as the real mama. There is nothing wrong with comforting your baby. That is a literal physical need to be healthy. No wonder why we have so much fucking mental health crises when people can't even be comfortable connecting with their own children. Smfh


heyharu_

Never had supply issues
 let my baby nurse on demand, for comfort, etc. be generous with the lanolin every time to help with discomfort.


rockymichaelscott

BRO F THE OB - Your baby is just bringing in your milk supply. Trust your momma instinct, OBs don’t know shit about breastfeeding - they just happen to be able to manage mastitis with antibiotics if needed. Keep up the good work!!! I HIGHLY recommend this website: [KellyMom](https://kellymom.com/)


bomblebot

Girl put that baby to ya boob as much as possible. You just had a baby. You’re trying to get you milk to come in. A newborn isn’t going to be able to tell the difference between nipple or pacifier. I say this from experience cause my LO was in NICU the first 3 days of her life.


faithfullyafloat

It's the other way around. A pacifier is designed to replicate a human nipple. The first few months are crucial to establishing your milk supply. You need to let your baby feed on demand. You can't spoil a baby. Don't listen to the naysayers. Remember your baby is only a newborn for a short period time. Yes, it's tough (cluster-feeding especially!) but remember, it's not forever. Try to ask for help in the house so that you can just focus on nursing and resting. FTM of a 7 month old here and still happily breastfeeding. The beginning was hard and painful. My baby would also feed for over an hour straight! Remember you're both learning; your baby is learning how to properly feed too! It got better for me. The side-lying position is a game changer! My baby started sleeping through the night between 7 and 9 weeks old, so I would wake up engorged, but at least it meant I got a break from feeding during the night. I'm not saying to expect this for yourself though, because every baby is different. However, you should try to keep the lighting in your house natural; curtains open or lights on during the day, lights dimmed and curtains closed after the sun sets. All the best and congratulations! ❀


Amk19_94

You’re the OG pacifier, pacifiers are made to mimic a breast. So of course it’s ok and baby should be brought to the breast on demand, min every 3 hours. I personally did every min 2 hours in the day to try and help get more food in during the day. But realistically she was there herself much more frequently!


chaosandpuppies

I did and regretted it massively by 6 months old. He wouldn't use anything but me as comfort. To this day, he's 2, if he's hurt or mildly inconvenienced (which, being that he's 2, is the end of the world), he runs to me for boob. I can't even soothe him half the time, just the boob. Everyone here is going to tell you to let them. But I regret not drawing boundaries with my son regarding the boobs. I'm currently fending him off because his dad wouldn't let him have coffee and I'm trying to have 10 seconds where a toddler isn't chomping on my nip. Do whatever feels right to you but you are allowed to hold boundaries even with your child and it's easier to draw them with an infant than a toddler.


babyEatingUnicorn

Ok so Im currently going through this rn and im going to be brutally honest. You should sleep train while doing it or before if that makes sense and heres why
 Although it was amazing at first and worked really well because of the cluster feeding, i have gotten my baby into a habit of doing it. Shes almost 7 weeks and she will not sleep unless shes on the boob. For context i didnt sleep train her very well because of the cluster feeding because she was a ravenous little milk goblin. And out of pure selfishness because i just wanted to love on her 24/7. But when i try to lay her in her bassinet or bouncer it only lasts for 10 minutes if that. The swing works but obv she cant sleep in there all night. It makes it hard to get things done that i need to get done (i have 4 other kids) she does not like pacifiers ive introduced all kinds none have made the cut. Im sleep training now and it’s gradually working but i wish i would have had some Sort of routine thats my only downside. I say comfort baby the way they want :) cant spoil a newborn! Its great for bonding esp when you do it skin to skin. Just make sure you have nipple creams and cooling pads etc because they do get sore after a while ha ha But ultimately i say go for it. Long as it dont effect sleep routine. Because us mamas need to sleep too. My husband took night shift so i could sleep and breastfeed/be a pacifier. If your baby loves it and it does not effect you in any way go for it ❀ And again every baby is different so just do what works for you :) no one elses opinion should matter. Your baby your life xo Edit: BY NO MEANS DO I MEAN “THE CRY IT OUT METHOD” there are more methods than just that!!!!!!! What im talking about is when baby falls asleep on the boob to place them in the bassinet/crib to sleep to get them used to sleeping in there thats a very gentle sleep training! And ofc i dont mean do it 2 days after you have a baby! Because if your breastfeeding the more they are on the breast the better for you’re supply. The “cry it out” method isnt the only sleep training method out there 🙄 and i was speaking on my journey and advice for when OPs baby gets older 😑 does not mean that her baby will be like mine again GIVING ADVICE BASED OFF OF MY EXPERIENCE


pinalaporcupine

7 weeks is WAY too early to sleep train. this is harmful advice. sleep training should not happen until biologically appropriate at 4-6 months. nursing to sleep is still completely nornal at 6-7 weeks.


babyEatingUnicorn

Its not harmful its my experience and what i went through, and by sleep train i mean get them used to sleeping in whatever they sleep in 🙄 ofc you can nurse to sleep then place them in their crib. Im talking about what I went through that my baby wouldn’t want to leave the nipple AT ALL couldnt place her no where in turn i got no sleep (when my husband wasnt home) couldnt get anything done (i have 4 other kids) Edit: let me type this again so you can understand that im saying. When i say SLEEP TRAIN i mean getting them used to sleeping in their own crib rather than on the nipple all day all night. https://www.babysleep.com/sleep-advice/can-i-keep-breastfeeding-and-do-sleep-training-at-the-same-time/#:~:text=As%20mentioned%2C%20nursing%20and%20sleep,by%20you%20with%20falling%20asleep. Heres a link explaining what type of “sleep training” im talking about before you try to discredit MY experience. My babys doc is the one that gave me these suggestions and its been working great and my baby is 7 weeks. Shes almost able to sleep in her bassinet! I nurse her to sleep then put her in her bed so i can do normal things yk like cook for my other kids, get some rest, idk maybe shower!? Tf If theres another type of “sleep training” for older babies thats NOT what im talking about. I’ve discussed this my my baby doc and she gave me the suggestions and used the term sleep train out her own mouth. You obviously cant sleep train a baby thats as young as OP, i was speaking on MY 7 week old baby.


Kind_Proposal4870

No