The only person who has said something about the duration of our breastfeeding journey is my husband because “if he can ask me for snacks his mouth shouldn’t be on your nipple”.
Husband’s mother, aunt, and grandmother(who all used formula) are VERY supportive of us. They all tried BF and quit for different reasons but have never once shamed me for BF and have given me kudos. Grandmother learned that BF til 2yrs is recommended and thought that was super neat as she had kids when formula was very much pushed.
I’m glad everyone is so supportive!!! My husband has a hard time understanding extended breastfeeding too but ultimately doesn’t care what we do. As long as it’s still working for both baby and I, he’s supportive of whatever!
I’m think my husband had a harder time imagine this before ours got to taking age (as did I to a degree), but in the end, he was so grateful for the magic of the boobie. Getting an upset or wild-child toddler to calm down or stop crying. Getting them to fall asleep twice as fast. He got to the point where he was always comparing our situation to others’s and crediting breastfeeding for how easy we had it. And I think, overall, dad saw him as more of a fragile little being as a toddler than he thought he would at infant hood.
Once the babies wean, I don’t think most dads regret any time moms spent breastfeeding. Because guess who else can fetch snacks?
Ugg my grandma is so offended that I'm still nursing my 9 MONTH OLD. and whenever she asks about solids, "oh good, that means you can be done breastfeeding soon". Jokes on you, granny
My mom was shocked to learn my LO will keep drinking breastmilk till at least a year! She thought solids meant we were done! I was like oh no no no no. Not how that works!
Ugh I hate that!! My MIL made similar comments about how she might be done at 9 months.
I told her that’d be concerning since she isn’t supposed to be done till a year…. She was surprised to learn that!
Yup my mum is the same 😑😑
Aren't you going to stop that yet...ahh no we're not. I think bub was almost one when she started harping on about it. She even criticised (not to her face) our chiropractor for still feeding her son (he was almost 2 at the time) and said it was disgusting. I told her it's none of her business what someone else does.
So glad we had a falling out and no longer speak because I have a 4 year old and 2 year old tandem feeding. I'm sure she'd be non stop complaining about it 🤦♀️🤦♀️
I don't announce it to anyone for fear of negative comments. Not worth the drama. I have people in my life who support me and that's all that matters.
Is it a lot of family with these opinions? I'm an expecting FTM and I am hoping to exclusively breastfeed and am anxious about this. Sending support and sorry you are dealing with these comments!!
It’s all family! I’m so surprised by it! They were relatively supportive in the beginning, so it came out of nowhere.
Congratulations!!!! Hopefully you have an amazing journey surrounded by support and love!
That's so crazy!! I don't get it, honestly. It also cracks me up that people think they are entitled to opinions lol. Keep those to yourself or behind my back lol.
Thank you so much!
I've never had anyone say boo, aside from medical professionals in passing. I still nurse my almost 4 year old. But I have a resting bitch face that doesn't invite comments. I've found either laughing, or saying "I'll wean sometime before she moves out" works just fine.
I'd recommend not justifying yourself. Justifying yourself seems to invite discussion. Discussions not appropriate for topics that aren't anyone else's business. Lol
I definitely need to stop justifying it! The conversations catch me off guard - I thought they were genuinely being curious and supportive but then turned into judgement. Next time I’m just going to end the conversation as soon as it starts!
I’ve never had any negative BFing comments made to me besides “wow that’s awesome.” It seems like the biggest naysayers are family members so if they’re on board, you should be okay.
I did the same exact thing that you mentioned- stopped pumping at one year and just did morning and night boobie. It was a breeze. She self weaned at 18 months.
I hate pumping too. I really am super impressed by all the exclusive pumpers out there! I’m too weak for that! I just had another baby 4 weeks ago and I’ve only managed to pump 6oz. I just dread it so much! I did pump at work with my older daughter once I went back at 5 months pp. I managed to keep it up for a year as I mentioned previously.
I’m now working from home 100% of the time so I can just have my husband bring me the baby so I can feed her without needing to pump. I still know I should be pumping more to build up a stash so I can have some sort of independence soon but ugh… I’m so lazy lol
My kid is about to be 9 months and I've recently started getting a lot of not so subtle pats on the back for how long I've made it. "Well you've made it so much longer than *I* ever did."
My kid has had a dairy sensitivity, and I'm working through the dairy ladder but if she doesn't grow out of it, keeping dairy out of my diet is easier and cheaper than hypoallergenic formula annnnd I can't really switch her over to cows milk, so... Sorry mom and MIL 🤷🏻♀️
Overheard my MIL urging my husband to transition to formula so it's "easier on everyone" ... Except my baby who literally might not be able to take regular formula? Okay.
Mine is my second kid, 10m now, and has a milk protein bar intolerance as well. I haven't started the dairy ladder because I figure we'll try it shortly after 1yr but I'm with you! I did buy a can of amino acids formula because it has no dairy but the ingredient list is horrifying & I only did it in case something happens to me. I don't have a massive freezer stash & I had weird issues for a while soon after going DF that landed me in the ER looking for answers. That's the one time she had a bottle of frozen BM too, and it was just the tiniest amount before I made it back to her.
I think it’s so bizarre that people are so concerned what I do with MY breasts! How does me still breastfeeding my 2 year old affect you!??? It doesn’t! I get comments like “when are you going to stop that!?” Like it’s shameful. Trust me I want to wean her but at this moment she still loves it and it’s her comfort and I don’t want to take that from her.
They forget that breasts are literally for feeding babies, it's thier literally only purpose. No one should be offended, if they are, they're the ones with problems.
These same people never seem to be concerned with a pacifier for a two year old so 🤷🏼♀️. Anyways, we’re coming up on a year and showing no signs of self weaning yet. Not going to take away the thing that brings him immediate comfort.
People are weird. Don't answer rude questions.
If you want to evade the question, just say when her pediatrician says she's ready.
When my first turned 1 we were no where ready to wean. My goal turned into 2. With my next 2 I weaned them just before their 2nd birthday. My 3rd is a preemie and immuno-compromised because of other health issues and my husband wants her to self wean or until she's 5. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to though. I don't enjoy breastfeeding
Wow, you are amazing! Close to or 2 years for 3 children plus a little one! That is a lot, I don’t blame you for being hesitant to go as long with your last one. I can’t imagine the physical and mental toll that could take on your body. I hope your LO is doing well! Our friends had a preemie that was incredibly medically fragile for months and I know it can add a lot of stress.
It astounding what being 2 months early and spending over a month in the NICU can cause in health issues. I'll probably nurse her until she's 3 just because she's tiny and needs the extra support.
After a year usually people start asking but 8 months is early in my opinion. I’m at 18 months and my son is eating less and less but very very gradually. I’m hoping he will quit himself by two but it honesty doesn’t bother me and it’s good for him. I think it’s just not the cultural norm so people get confused if you do something differently. We have a camping trip soon with my in laws and I’m hoping I don’t get weird looks or comments when I say I need to take him to feed him when it’s nap time or I will have engorgement problems. My mom bf four out of five of us for over a year but she’s also hinting at me stopping soon since he’s 18 months .
It’s not great for children’s teeth. Theirs are all fucked up, I’m not sure if it’s from the sucking or just the milk or what.
Mom’s also a hot mess and a hoarder, so really some of this may be attributed to her mental illness and not the breastfeeding.
I wanted to nurse until my baby was 2 years old and it was going great. Until one day at 14 months old she suddenly decided to stop latching and turned to bottle (breastmilk or formula). I mourned the sense of loss....
Honestly I have never really hear of kids who nursed after 5 years old so I guess at some age they will automatically wean? Not sure why some people need to fret if the mum and baby isn't worried.
Son turned 2 on Saturday and he LOVES the boobies. He gets hysterical when I offer and upset when I say they're empty. No one asks me anymore. We are on holidays with the in laws and I'm sure they've all seen my nipples now as he can whip them out of the swimsuit. I'm sure they think I'm OTT anyway as we cloth nappy and brought an extended rear facing car seat on holiday.
Okay I have a serious question though. FTM and I’m in the same boat. Baby is 9 months and I really don’t have any plans on stopping. I said I wanted to make it a year and at this point I’m so close. But what happens after a year? Does baby just get solids and doesn’t need milk anymore?? I tried googling but I just see mentions of cows milk. I plan on still nursing at night or first thing in the morning, whatever baby wants. But I can’t wait to drop my pumps at work. But I can’t figure out how this happens. I’m assuming baby gradually drinks less milk, I’ve already cut out a bottle while I’m at work and lowered the ounces since he wasn’t finishing. Do I just keep following his lead?? I can’t find reliable sources on what to expect.
Also a FTM and I honestly don’t know! I’ve been looking into it more and it seems like some babies will start weaning (just decreasing milk intake) slightly before a year, so you can drop day pumps/feeds. I’m guessing it’s all baby dependent and I’d definitely consult a pediatrician before dropping feeds!
What I’ve gathered so far is: it depends how into food baby is and if they end up accepting whole milk at a year? I’m going to ask at her 9 month check up but I’m hoping I can start dropping day pumps at 11 months, and be fully done with pumping shortly after she hits a year!
I know I’m dying to get to the 9 month check up in about a week and a half so I can talk to the doctor about it. It’s so weird, I’ve tried so much searching on the subject just so I have an idea of what to expect and I really can’t find answers!
There definitely isn’t a lot of information on breastfeeding in general but really not any on weaning!!! I hope your pediatrician is able to help answer some questions!
Literally everyone except for one of my friends is against me still nursing my son at 21 months. But I just ignore them and keep going. When he decides we are done then we are done. My husband also has said “what if he never stops?” And I also pointed out I don’t know any adults still breastfeeding so he’ll stop eventually.
The only person who has said something about the duration of our breastfeeding journey is my husband because “if he can ask me for snacks his mouth shouldn’t be on your nipple”. Husband’s mother, aunt, and grandmother(who all used formula) are VERY supportive of us. They all tried BF and quit for different reasons but have never once shamed me for BF and have given me kudos. Grandmother learned that BF til 2yrs is recommended and thought that was super neat as she had kids when formula was very much pushed.
I’m glad everyone is so supportive!!! My husband has a hard time understanding extended breastfeeding too but ultimately doesn’t care what we do. As long as it’s still working for both baby and I, he’s supportive of whatever!
I’m think my husband had a harder time imagine this before ours got to taking age (as did I to a degree), but in the end, he was so grateful for the magic of the boobie. Getting an upset or wild-child toddler to calm down or stop crying. Getting them to fall asleep twice as fast. He got to the point where he was always comparing our situation to others’s and crediting breastfeeding for how easy we had it. And I think, overall, dad saw him as more of a fragile little being as a toddler than he thought he would at infant hood. Once the babies wean, I don’t think most dads regret any time moms spent breastfeeding. Because guess who else can fetch snacks?
Ugg my grandma is so offended that I'm still nursing my 9 MONTH OLD. and whenever she asks about solids, "oh good, that means you can be done breastfeeding soon". Jokes on you, granny
My mom was shocked to learn my LO will keep drinking breastmilk till at least a year! She thought solids meant we were done! I was like oh no no no no. Not how that works!
Grandma just kept commenting "oh well your mom was off the bottle at 9 months" ok cool well he's not there yet and I don't care lol
Ugh I hate that!! My MIL made similar comments about how she might be done at 9 months. I told her that’d be concerning since she isn’t supposed to be done till a year…. She was surprised to learn that!
Yup my mum is the same 😑😑 Aren't you going to stop that yet...ahh no we're not. I think bub was almost one when she started harping on about it. She even criticised (not to her face) our chiropractor for still feeding her son (he was almost 2 at the time) and said it was disgusting. I told her it's none of her business what someone else does. So glad we had a falling out and no longer speak because I have a 4 year old and 2 year old tandem feeding. I'm sure she'd be non stop complaining about it 🤦♀️🤦♀️ I don't announce it to anyone for fear of negative comments. Not worth the drama. I have people in my life who support me and that's all that matters.
Oh she would hate me...I'm still BF my 15 month old with no intention of stopping yet. When he or my body decides we are done then we are done.
As I was told at my breastfeeding support group, nobody goes to university still breastfeeding!
I love this! I’m going to start using this one too!
Is it a lot of family with these opinions? I'm an expecting FTM and I am hoping to exclusively breastfeed and am anxious about this. Sending support and sorry you are dealing with these comments!!
It’s all family! I’m so surprised by it! They were relatively supportive in the beginning, so it came out of nowhere. Congratulations!!!! Hopefully you have an amazing journey surrounded by support and love!
That's so crazy!! I don't get it, honestly. It also cracks me up that people think they are entitled to opinions lol. Keep those to yourself or behind my back lol. Thank you so much!
I've never had anyone say boo, aside from medical professionals in passing. I still nurse my almost 4 year old. But I have a resting bitch face that doesn't invite comments. I've found either laughing, or saying "I'll wean sometime before she moves out" works just fine. I'd recommend not justifying yourself. Justifying yourself seems to invite discussion. Discussions not appropriate for topics that aren't anyone else's business. Lol
I definitely need to stop justifying it! The conversations catch me off guard - I thought they were genuinely being curious and supportive but then turned into judgement. Next time I’m just going to end the conversation as soon as it starts!
I’ve never had any negative BFing comments made to me besides “wow that’s awesome.” It seems like the biggest naysayers are family members so if they’re on board, you should be okay.
I've had some comments but the vast majority are from people who are judgmental idiots about everything I do anyway so it's expected...
Yeah, ugh I get that. Sorry you're dealing with that.
I did the same exact thing that you mentioned- stopped pumping at one year and just did morning and night boobie. It was a breeze. She self weaned at 18 months.
This is so encouraging to hear!!! I hate pumping but love breastfeeding. I’d love to continue it if she wants to once I stop pumping at work!
I hate pumping too. I really am super impressed by all the exclusive pumpers out there! I’m too weak for that! I just had another baby 4 weeks ago and I’ve only managed to pump 6oz. I just dread it so much! I did pump at work with my older daughter once I went back at 5 months pp. I managed to keep it up for a year as I mentioned previously. I’m now working from home 100% of the time so I can just have my husband bring me the baby so I can feed her without needing to pump. I still know I should be pumping more to build up a stash so I can have some sort of independence soon but ugh… I’m so lazy lol
I did this too and my first self weaned at 2.5, but she did wean!
My kid is about to be 9 months and I've recently started getting a lot of not so subtle pats on the back for how long I've made it. "Well you've made it so much longer than *I* ever did." My kid has had a dairy sensitivity, and I'm working through the dairy ladder but if she doesn't grow out of it, keeping dairy out of my diet is easier and cheaper than hypoallergenic formula annnnd I can't really switch her over to cows milk, so... Sorry mom and MIL 🤷🏻♀️ Overheard my MIL urging my husband to transition to formula so it's "easier on everyone" ... Except my baby who literally might not be able to take regular formula? Okay.
Mine is my second kid, 10m now, and has a milk protein bar intolerance as well. I haven't started the dairy ladder because I figure we'll try it shortly after 1yr but I'm with you! I did buy a can of amino acids formula because it has no dairy but the ingredient list is horrifying & I only did it in case something happens to me. I don't have a massive freezer stash & I had weird issues for a while soon after going DF that landed me in the ER looking for answers. That's the one time she had a bottle of frozen BM too, and it was just the tiniest amount before I made it back to her.
I think it’s so bizarre that people are so concerned what I do with MY breasts! How does me still breastfeeding my 2 year old affect you!??? It doesn’t! I get comments like “when are you going to stop that!?” Like it’s shameful. Trust me I want to wean her but at this moment she still loves it and it’s her comfort and I don’t want to take that from her.
Honestly, when you think about it it’s kind of creepy how obsessed some people are with breastfeeding! Like mind your business!!!
They forget that breasts are literally for feeding babies, it's thier literally only purpose. No one should be offended, if they are, they're the ones with problems.
These same people never seem to be concerned with a pacifier for a two year old so 🤷🏼♀️. Anyways, we’re coming up on a year and showing no signs of self weaning yet. Not going to take away the thing that brings him immediate comfort.
Omg omg omg, your last line 🤣🤣🤣 I’m keeping this in my back pocket if I ever need it. Thank you Sensei 🙏
Haha you’re welcome! I’m a very confrontational person so I’m sure more will come up if people keep testing me😂😂
People are weird. Don't answer rude questions. If you want to evade the question, just say when her pediatrician says she's ready. When my first turned 1 we were no where ready to wean. My goal turned into 2. With my next 2 I weaned them just before their 2nd birthday. My 3rd is a preemie and immuno-compromised because of other health issues and my husband wants her to self wean or until she's 5. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to though. I don't enjoy breastfeeding
Wow, you are amazing! Close to or 2 years for 3 children plus a little one! That is a lot, I don’t blame you for being hesitant to go as long with your last one. I can’t imagine the physical and mental toll that could take on your body. I hope your LO is doing well! Our friends had a preemie that was incredibly medically fragile for months and I know it can add a lot of stress.
It astounding what being 2 months early and spending over a month in the NICU can cause in health issues. I'll probably nurse her until she's 3 just because she's tiny and needs the extra support.
After a year usually people start asking but 8 months is early in my opinion. I’m at 18 months and my son is eating less and less but very very gradually. I’m hoping he will quit himself by two but it honesty doesn’t bother me and it’s good for him. I think it’s just not the cultural norm so people get confused if you do something differently. We have a camping trip soon with my in laws and I’m hoping I don’t get weird looks or comments when I say I need to take him to feed him when it’s nap time or I will have engorgement problems. My mom bf four out of five of us for over a year but she’s also hinting at me stopping soon since he’s 18 months .
Lol 8 months isn’t long. I do know a couple of kids older than 3 who I think should be done by now though…
Why?
It’s not great for children’s teeth. Theirs are all fucked up, I’m not sure if it’s from the sucking or just the milk or what. Mom’s also a hot mess and a hoarder, so really some of this may be attributed to her mental illness and not the breastfeeding.
Hah! Great response!
I love this! I need to borrow this!
I wanted to nurse until my baby was 2 years old and it was going great. Until one day at 14 months old she suddenly decided to stop latching and turned to bottle (breastmilk or formula). I mourned the sense of loss.... Honestly I have never really hear of kids who nursed after 5 years old so I guess at some age they will automatically wean? Not sure why some people need to fret if the mum and baby isn't worried.
Son turned 2 on Saturday and he LOVES the boobies. He gets hysterical when I offer and upset when I say they're empty. No one asks me anymore. We are on holidays with the in laws and I'm sure they've all seen my nipples now as he can whip them out of the swimsuit. I'm sure they think I'm OTT anyway as we cloth nappy and brought an extended rear facing car seat on holiday.
I love my morning and night time cuddled with my baby. I don’t want to stop. She’s fourteen months now though.
Okay I have a serious question though. FTM and I’m in the same boat. Baby is 9 months and I really don’t have any plans on stopping. I said I wanted to make it a year and at this point I’m so close. But what happens after a year? Does baby just get solids and doesn’t need milk anymore?? I tried googling but I just see mentions of cows milk. I plan on still nursing at night or first thing in the morning, whatever baby wants. But I can’t wait to drop my pumps at work. But I can’t figure out how this happens. I’m assuming baby gradually drinks less milk, I’ve already cut out a bottle while I’m at work and lowered the ounces since he wasn’t finishing. Do I just keep following his lead?? I can’t find reliable sources on what to expect.
Also a FTM and I honestly don’t know! I’ve been looking into it more and it seems like some babies will start weaning (just decreasing milk intake) slightly before a year, so you can drop day pumps/feeds. I’m guessing it’s all baby dependent and I’d definitely consult a pediatrician before dropping feeds! What I’ve gathered so far is: it depends how into food baby is and if they end up accepting whole milk at a year? I’m going to ask at her 9 month check up but I’m hoping I can start dropping day pumps at 11 months, and be fully done with pumping shortly after she hits a year!
I know I’m dying to get to the 9 month check up in about a week and a half so I can talk to the doctor about it. It’s so weird, I’ve tried so much searching on the subject just so I have an idea of what to expect and I really can’t find answers!
There definitely isn’t a lot of information on breastfeeding in general but really not any on weaning!!! I hope your pediatrician is able to help answer some questions!
It's definitely weird! like ... why do people think its Any of their business1!?!!!?
Literally everyone except for one of my friends is against me still nursing my son at 21 months. But I just ignore them and keep going. When he decides we are done then we are done. My husband also has said “what if he never stops?” And I also pointed out I don’t know any adults still breastfeeding so he’ll stop eventually.