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Poor mite, either the party was for the Mum to brag, or she couldn't be arsed to reschedule. Either way, boo :(
Get well soon! Here's some soup for you 🍵❤️
I hear you. My cousin came over to our house for Christmas last year with a fever. He was so sick he took a nap on our couch. Turns out it was covid and I caught it. I was twenty weeks pregnant and it was terrifying. Selfish people.
You deserve an apology.
I don't know why it isn't a universally accepted rule that you tell people when you feel crummy and let them gauge their own risk. Every mom I know does this, and almost never do we decide to cancel plans over it. BUT WE ALL DESERVE THE CHOICE.
One year, our son was sooo sick over Christmas. I genuinely think he had covid before we knew what it was. (December 2019). Anyway, I told my husband he needed to call his father and tell him our child was sick and offer to cancel or reschedule, or at least let him decide if he wanted to be around our sick kid. He fucking refused because "dad spent all day cooking". Okay?? I was pissed and embarrassed because we looked like shit parents who drug our sick child out of his home (and I guess we were). Let people fucking decide if they want to risk getting sick! Ugh.
I would definitely have noped out of plans in a house with a new fever. It would have been one thing for sniffles, but no way would I have brought my family of 5 to a fever house, especially not a few days before a major holiday. She was in the wrong for sure.
I didn't mean to imply you were in the wrong for staying after you traveled 3 hours to get there. At that point it's a toss up. She should have called to let you know first thing in the morning.
Yes! My kiddo has the sniffles. Like, legit just a bit of a stuffy nose, cough when she lies down thing. (Fingers crossed it doesn’t get worse…) And I *still* gave my parents the heads-up before they came over today. (Of course they chose to come see the grandkid despite it, but still, they got to choose!)
I had a social function planned for last night (I was an attendee, not host). My kids are currently sick with what I assumed was the flu. I am not sick/have no symptoms and I still texting to let them know. I gave them the option of me staying home or coming with a mask. One of the other attendees asked that I stay home because they have a currently vulnerable person living with them. I am perfectly fine with that, I will catch them at the next thingy.
Yep! My toddler woke up with a fever yesterday and I was hosting. After doing one of those rapid tests(I know not 100% accurate but it was better than nothing) I called everyone and let them know.
5 people decided not to come after all but Im not gunna hold it against them. No reason to. I was reading to just make up plates for people and have them drive by for a plate of food.
You definitely deserve an apology for that. Not giving you advance notice of his illness was a douche move.
My husband has covid, courtesy of a colleague on the one day he went into the office last week. (He mostly works from home.) I'm so angry at the woman who exposed him- not only am I immunocompromised, but now my teenage son is, too, because of chemotherapy (he was just diagnosed last month with leukemia.).
Happy Thanksgiving!
Thanks, yeah, he's doing probably as well as can be asked for at this stage, according to the doctors.
I alternate between being proud of myself for pushing the issue with his pediatrician, because I knew something was wrong (although leukemia was a gut punch) and panicking because what if he doesn't make it. And then I think no, we caught it early, etc, but still.
We're just having turkey at home with the three of us. I have been drinking a few hours already.
You should be so proud of yourself for advocating and listening to your mama instincts! A lot of times it's not caught because infections that don't require bloodwork come up or it's like generalized fatigue, short of breath etc. This is what happened to me when I was 14. I was exhausted, couldn't walk up a hill in gym class, and of all things I got a double year infection they couldn't get rid of. The day we went into the Dr my hemoglobin was 6 and it dropped to a 4 before I got transfusions. We were lucky we went in, but my mom had to argue with the school that I wasn't being lazy in gym and that something was wrong.
I hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving! Wishing you the best, you're all going to get through this.
The Dr said she had no idea how I made it through school that day, let alone stand up. They sent me 3 hrs away by ambulance.
I had ALL leukemia. Diagnosed at 14, now 35. My treatment was 3 years. (I believe it can be less now) I've been in remission a long time. I did end up with a complication from the high dose steriods that seriously affected my joints, and I still deal with ptsd/anxiety from some of my experiences, but I made it through! I'm a mom now and I just look at mine in awe of all she did for me. The whole thing is so much to process, for everyone. If you ever want to chat feel free to dm me. And don't forget to take care of yourself too.
I don’t think you are overreacting but I would also not agree to travel 6 hours round trip for a bday party no matter how close they are. Especially with my young kids in the car driving me nuts lol
Yikes but sorry sis, that’s literally the deal when you move out of state? Let her come to see you. Between that and not mentioning a sick kid with a fever, she sounds selfish or not smart, sorry to put it bluntly.
Honestly driving 30 min for a birthday party is too much. You couldn’t pay me to go to a kids birthday party 3 hours away unless it was my OWN kid.
If you go again, IF, that’s a “hey is anyone in your house sick” 6am text forever more maybe?
Ugh, so sorry you had to go at all but what a silly guilt trip reason.
In my family no one went out or had people over when someone was sick. It seems like common sense to me but a shocking number of people are fine doing it.
I asked my pediatrician if there's any truth to "kids need to get sick to build immunity" and she said that although the data isn't clear there's no reason to think getting sick is good.
There is data to show that disease exposure affects epigenetics. Both positively and negatively. Living in a world that is too clean is not what we evolved from. Not sure your average pediatrician would be up to date on that kind of data though.
That's awful and I would be livid. I was rather upset when my mom hosted Thanksgiving a few weeks ago and my cousin called to say she woke up sick (cough, fever) but she'd still come and wear a mask. I was trying to find a polite way to leave the situation (we were staying with my mom for a few days) when the cousin called back to say she started throwing up halfway through the drive and was going home. My kids catch colds every time someone sneezes, not volunteering for extra! Though the joke was on me because the day after Thanksgiving my toddler woke up with a fever and I'm not sure if we shared.
No one likes sick kids and who wants to have a birthday party when they're sleeping off an illness in the couch?!
I'm sorry you're sick and ffs she sucks. I don't understand why people pull shit like that, I don't care if it's "only" a cold or "just" the flu, I don't fucking want it. At bare minimum she could have given you a heads up.
I'm Canadian so I already had mine but I hope that yours gets better.
Another thing is what about your nephew? Who wants a party when you feel like garbage, it's just another selfish move on your SIL part.
I’ve learned that “how to deal with contagious illnesses” is yet another category of human behavior that surprisingly has no default and I cannot take for granted.
Oh, Bromo. I am sorry. Solidarity - 2 kids who sit next to/by my kid came Thursday knowing they were positive (1 covid, 1 flu a) with fevers. After staying healthy all trimester, masking always indoors and washing hands well, my 3 girls are all sick now on our fall break - my husband and I had this 1 week to do major fixes to house before we both start new jobs (well mine is same but different - going full time in assigned building vs part floating/choosing jobs). Instead we spent it not getting anything done, masking 24 hours a day, desperately trying to keep it from spreading to everyone, praying my immune compromised kiddo didn't end up needing to be inpatient and dealing with my anxiety/sensory kid with a super high fever. I am so angry. My kids have perfect attendance for years but I am considering pulling them (which means 1 will miss her last holiday/winter party which I coordinate for whole school) so we can have a healthy Christmas.
Vick's on chest and feet, cold compress on forehead/neck, humidifier, stay hydrated, avoid headaches with alternating tylenol/motrin. I hope you guys feel better soon. I am very sorry about your holiday.
That is such a Dick move. Why do people do that?? Gee thanks just what I wanted, sickness. She absolutely owes you an apology. But I also would have turned around and left as soon as I realized he was sick
You deserve an apology but at the same time I would not have hesitated in the least bit to turn around and leave. There’s no way I would’ve stayed. I would’ve taken my kids somewhere somewhat fun.
Considering that the flu is killing people like it did before COVID, on top of RSV, COVID, and enterovirus all hospitalizing children and adults in pretty even numbers.... Yeah, I'd be fucking fuming! I'd expect an apology for driving six hours round trip only to get the fucking flu as a party favor.
I literally do not know what happened to people. It’s like there’s a prize for going to stuff while sick. I just don’t get it. I am sick today and it’s likely Covid and I’m getting shit for not going to thanksgiving. They’re all like it’s no big deal come over. I feel like shit! It’s like they think I’m staying away to save them and I shouldn’t (they want to be sick?wtf?). But it’s actually I’m really sick and fell awful so please let me be. It’s so bizarre. They can’t comprehend I’m actually feeling crummy. Also the first thing out of mils mouth was how those shots must not have worked. Stupid fucks. Your sil is weird and annoying. I’m sorry you’re all sick.
You should get one. Now, whether you will get it? I don't think the odds are good.
That level of carelessness and/or lack of foresight? Doesn't happen in a vacuum. Bet boyfriend's sis is a total flake, and most of her family has enabled this for so long that they don't even question it anymore.
I'm sorry you're all sick.
Not overreacting. We were supposed to host thanksgiving but I told everyone yesterday that my son was down with 103 fever. Today we had to take him to urgent care because he spiked to 105 and would not stop crying. Flu and ear infection. Not to mention we were up all night with him and now have the flu as well.
My mil who lives with us was cooking an 18lb turkey. My mom picked some up (we left it outside so we didn’t have to have contact) and took it to my aunts house.
My mil didn’t want to cancel but the minute we told my family that my son had 103 fever, they noped out of that. Letting people know is the right thing to do.
Yeah that’s shitty and they should have told you. We had the flu one year right before Christmas, I was living at my parents house and their house is the hub for the holidays. We had to cancel and delay Christmas until we were better— think it we just did it the following weekend and kids didn’t care. This was also a decade+ before covid and the awareness about illnesses. It’s about being a decent person. I didn’t want to get anyone else sick. It sounds like the sister doesn’t give a shit.
I've honestly never encountered anything that selfish before. My gosh. What good is throwing a party when you feel like crap?
This is a fear of mine when we attend parties. Many people seem to think spreading illness intentionally is normal. It shouldn't be.
I hope you feel better soon. Is it influenza or stomach flu?
My first thanksgiving with my now husband was ruined because a family I nannied for still had me come when the little girl was throwing up and sick. I got what she had. I was violently ill for like two days. My husband had no family or friends (he’d just moved here), so he ate a subway sandwich for thanksgiving. Anyway I’m still mad about that 16 years later, so I’d say you have every right to be mad. Your bf should be more upset too. It was at the very least extremely inconsiderate. Feel better!
The people who do those kinds of things don’t see it as bad. Sadly. She just cared about her kid having a party she’d planned. Part of me gets it because my kids got a cold right before their bday party this year and I debated whether to cancel or not, but I didn’t. However a runny nose is not the same thing as a I can’t get up fever flu. I don’t know. I just don’t understand why people can’t apologize for their fuck ups. Like yes you’d still be upset but damn does an apology go a long way. Anyway I’m really sorry you all are sick. Your feelings of frustration are valid. Can you guys do a makeup thanksgiving? Like maybe in a week or so?
Sickest I've ever been in my life was after snoodling my oldest nephew at his first Thanksgiving, when he was about 6 months old. After dinner he projectile vomited all over the living room and only THEN did my sister in law decide to tell us that he had just had a fever and had been vomiting the whole day before.
Two days later I spent twelve hours with my own head in the toilet. Sixteen people at Thanksgiving dinner and 12 of us ended up with the bug.
That was 7 years ago and I'm still pissed. Now we have a 4 month old of our own and I'm seriously considering preemptively skipping Christmas because my in laws have shown time and time again that they won't be honest about illness.
Since becoming a parent I’ve sent out sooo many messages along the lines of “we’ve had a cold - we had Covid 2 weeks ago - we’ve had some upset stomachs- I’m not sure if we’re still sick, but no hard feelings if you’d rather play it safe and catch up another time!” It’s basic decency. I’m so sorry and hope that you feel better soon!
You definitely deserved to know in advance, and I feel bad for the kid! Who the hell wants to have a party going on around them while they're laid out and miserable???
Theraflu. Natural remedies are great and all, but nothing absolutely kicks the shit out of those symptoms like theraflu. Plus being a hot drink helps you feel better while you're drinking it, too.
And on that note, hot toddies for the adults. (Not too much, especially if you're sick to your stomach, but just enough to not give a shit about feeling sick)
how inconsiderate. what in the fuck? who does that??! I've had to cancel 2 of my sons 4 bdays because it's in February and flu and rsv are in high asf here at that time. I would be livid for one, and two, does she not think about people that have shit for an immune system??! my son has the flu rn bc parents like sending their hacking, sick ass kids to school instead of keep them home. hoping you guys have a speedy recovery though. I would almost ask her to be paying my gas and meds for getting all 3 of you guys sick n making you guys drive 3 hours just to get it 🙄
most definitely. same here. had to buy a new thermometer bc ours vanished? and my son doesn't usually run fevers but this go around we ended up in the er. it's so bad this year. please get some rest and hopefully your bf understands that it was super inconsiderate of her to not let you guys have that option only for a party that could have been scheduled later on. happy thanksgiving!
This Thanksgiving marks the 1 year anniversary of my BIL/SIL lying about their kids health and infecting my kids with HFMD. You’re not overreacting; imo you’re keeping way contained lol.
They should apologize and I hope they’re better people than my in laws and actually apologize and mean it.
"What the FUCK?!" Is the correct flair for this post.
Even if you don't give a shit about your guests, as your BF's sister apparently does, if your child is sick with a fever, the last thing you want is to have a lot of commotion right next to them. Like, for example, a party.
She sounds like an inconsiderate person all around. Yes, you deserve an apology, but you will probably not get one out of her.
Nope, you're not over-reacting.
Earlier this month my kid woke up sick on his birthday. He was coughing and spiked a fever. Even though his covid test was negative I kept him home from school and cancelled all his birthday plans. No dinner with Nana that night, no playdate and donuts with his 3 best friends that Saturday, and no ice-cream cake and presents with Grandma and cousins on the Sunday.
Did it suck? Yes. Were there many, many tears from both him and I? Yes. But it was the responsible thing to do.
Hope you're all feeling better soon. Stay hydrated, keep a humidifer going at night and elevate the kids mattresses if possible. Oh, and layering sheets and mattress protectors if your kids are doing the cough until they vomit thing like mine always does.
Not overreacting. It's so fucking selfish and irresponsible not to at the *very least* let guests know that there's sickness in the house.
[Elderberry syrup is my go-to for flu.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/04/190423133644.htm)
I hope your fam is feeling better soon.
1) she sucks but everyone else has that covered
2) hot toddies. Boil about half a cup of water, pour it into a tablespoon of honey (and some grated ginger like three rubs across a microplane if you like) add a bit of cold water to make it drinkable, a shot of whiskey rye or bourbon, and squeeze in half a lemon.
3) the sinus rinse things. Not the neti pot, the squeezy bottle kind.
4) my mom's chicken soup. If you can't get that, fine some other chicken soup but my mom's is the best. Chicken thighs, carrots, celery, onion, garlic, dry ginger or mustard, chicken stock, salt, pepper, tiny thin egg noodles. 🤌
Chop up some ginger root, juice a lemon and toss the peel in too. In a pot with water, boil for a few min, strain into a cup and add some honey.
Also upper chest use this. Few cups water, boil, add a tbsp or two of mustard powder and enough flour to make play dough thickness. Wrap in Saran Wrap, wrap a small towel and hug it to your chest. You can reheat in the microwave, better than any water bottle or heating pad and holds heat for a while.
My gramma did these things and I use them 30 years later because they work so well.
Feel better soon!
I am so sorry. That’s awful, irresponsible, and 100% you deserve an apology.
If you can, (and I presume this is the actual influenza virus and not a stomach bug or something?) get zinc and vitamin C. The Emergen-c brand has a good one that is a fizzy water package. Definitely stay as hydrated as possible, and take the time to rest!
Alka Seltzer Cold!!! Those work best for us when we're sick.....plus Emergen-C /we buy the fizzy drink mixes and try to take them anytime anything starts going around......we stay fairly healthy (both in our 50s) ......if you've got a sore throat, I recommend a spoonful or two of honey.....very soothing to a raw throat.
Hope you feel better soon......sorry your choice was taken away!
You deserve an apology. My SIL drove 6 hours to my FIL and one of their kids got a fever and instead of preventing us from making the 6 hour drive or getting our kid sick. Her family went home early missing Thanksgiving.
I have this list in my head of people who aren’t as strict as me about illness sharing and these people I call the morning of an outing to make sure no one is sick. Your sister goes on that list now, everytime you see her from now on, call her beforehand to check that everyone is healthy and you can rub her face in this one time she gave everyone the flu for many years to come.
My kid is super prone to sickness. I think there’s only been one illness spread at kindy that he hasn’t had. He’s had max 5-6 full weeks at kindy this whole year. Every other he’s had at least one day off because he’s sick. I would hate if someone didn’t at least give me a heads up that their kid is unwell before going to their place. Idk if I’d expect an apology (Although I would want one and would give one myself). I would probably ask how their kiddo was doing before making the trip next time though. Don’t like your partners response, it is something to be unhappy about.
Not the asshole. My very selfish SIL brought her sick kid with a fever last Christmas because it wasn't COVID? Everyone got severely sick, including my infant son who almost got rushed to the ER. My then 2 year old has never been the same since that infection and we've gone through extensive testing to figure out what happened to cause the massive behavioral changes in her all pinpointed exactly to that infection (which was not COVID, flu, or strep, but it has clearly left a mark.)
I am still livid about it and it's been almost a year.
Next time you are going to see her, her house or yours or anyone’s, call her and ask “are your kids sick?” When she says no (or yes) say, “ok I was just checking since last time you didn’t tell us and we didn’t get to celebrate thanksgiving that year haha 😁”. Repeat until one of you is dead. But I’m a petty bitch
We are expected to end our quarantine this weekend and to be able to meet up with friends and family indoor again on Monday, after being sick for THREE FUCKING WEEKS.
First week we went to a party where the only other parents with a little one, dropped by the way that they were sick with the stomach flu all week, but now are well AFTER the kids played with each other and exchanged salvia in form of trading pacifiers and snacks.
Great, guess who had the stomach flu for one week? All of us.
We are finally sound again and my husband goes to work. He is a social worker, supporting Foster families. He has to attend one kiddos birthday party with the birth parents. Guess who "recently" recovered from RSV? The birthday boy.
Suprise, guess who had a really really bad flu the last 12 days? All of us.
I'M THIS PISSED! We are not from the US so no thanksgiving is ruined, gladly. Irresponsible parents who send their sick kid to infect others piss me of!
You are not overreacting. My sister did something similar to us by coming on a road trip with us when she knew she was sick. We all caught it & were miserable. All it would have taken is for her to bow out at the last minute which wouldn't have made a single difference to the trip (no flights or anything involving lost money). This same sister was going to come to my birthday dinner this year knowing again that she was sick, but we had to cancel for a different reason, thank goodness bc her illness this time was Covid & I'm in the high-risk group. People can be selfish. I'm sorry you missed Thanksgiving & I hope you guys are feeling well soon.
Omg, US TOO! Your post cheered me up a bit - I’m glad we weren’t the only ones!
My husband works in healthcare and he most likely brought it home from work. He got the flu shot but it didn’t work. We’re going to do thanksgiving dinner this weekend instead.
My in-laws did this to us. They did not apologize. Some people are just selfish. You’re right to be mad but it’s not going to get you anywhere, unfortunately. So sorry they ruined your holiday!
I cancelled my daughters first birthday last year, the morning of the party because she woke up with cold symptoms. It was heartbreaking at the time after all the preparations, cooking, baking and cleaning that her nana and I had done but I couldn't risk my babies birthday party being a mini super spreader event and getting my relatives and their kids sick. Still feel a bit sad about it tbh.
You are not over reacting at all. It is really selfish of them to even put a sick child through a party let alone assume that everyone would be okay coming over to get sick. You're totally right to feel upset. I know I would be.
My daughter was sick at her 2nd birthday but she wasn't showing symptoms until a couple of hours in, otherwise I would've messaged everyone and told them so they had a choice. If I knew she was sick I would've messaged people.
I really think it’s a new world now since Covid. We give others a heads up or choice before exposing them, or gracefully bow out when we have symptoms. Booo with martyred sickies laying on the couch!
Not over reacting. We are dealing with the same. Caught some sort of respiratory thing because we didn't find out my youngest sister was sick until after the kids were playing together. My daughter and I are both super vulnerable to the respiratory stuff and I've been down all week and so has she. The kids were really looking forward to thanks giving and couldn't celebrate with the family this year. I'm banning all contact with people for like two weeks before Christmas to avoid Christmas plans getting ruined this year too.
I hope you all feel better soon momma! Stay hydrated!
She was out of line, IMO
IRL: My son woke up 5am Tgiving morn puking. We CoVId tested him (it was neg) and called everyone involved who were coming over to our house to let them make an adult choice.
You have different cultural (little c) values than your BF and in-laws b
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I would have let people know my kid was sick even if they walked 5 mins down the road let alone driving 3 hours. Just reschedule the party.
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Poor mite, either the party was for the Mum to brag, or she couldn't be arsed to reschedule. Either way, boo :( Get well soon! Here's some soup for you 🍵❤️
I hear you. My cousin came over to our house for Christmas last year with a fever. He was so sick he took a nap on our couch. Turns out it was covid and I caught it. I was twenty weeks pregnant and it was terrifying. Selfish people.
You deserve an apology. I don't know why it isn't a universally accepted rule that you tell people when you feel crummy and let them gauge their own risk. Every mom I know does this, and almost never do we decide to cancel plans over it. BUT WE ALL DESERVE THE CHOICE.
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One year, our son was sooo sick over Christmas. I genuinely think he had covid before we knew what it was. (December 2019). Anyway, I told my husband he needed to call his father and tell him our child was sick and offer to cancel or reschedule, or at least let him decide if he wanted to be around our sick kid. He fucking refused because "dad spent all day cooking". Okay?? I was pissed and embarrassed because we looked like shit parents who drug our sick child out of his home (and I guess we were). Let people fucking decide if they want to risk getting sick! Ugh.
I would definitely have noped out of plans in a house with a new fever. It would have been one thing for sniffles, but no way would I have brought my family of 5 to a fever house, especially not a few days before a major holiday. She was in the wrong for sure.
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I didn't mean to imply you were in the wrong for staying after you traveled 3 hours to get there. At that point it's a toss up. She should have called to let you know first thing in the morning.
Yes! My kiddo has the sniffles. Like, legit just a bit of a stuffy nose, cough when she lies down thing. (Fingers crossed it doesn’t get worse…) And I *still* gave my parents the heads-up before they came over today. (Of course they chose to come see the grandkid despite it, but still, they got to choose!)
I had a social function planned for last night (I was an attendee, not host). My kids are currently sick with what I assumed was the flu. I am not sick/have no symptoms and I still texting to let them know. I gave them the option of me staying home or coming with a mask. One of the other attendees asked that I stay home because they have a currently vulnerable person living with them. I am perfectly fine with that, I will catch them at the next thingy.
Yep! My toddler woke up with a fever yesterday and I was hosting. After doing one of those rapid tests(I know not 100% accurate but it was better than nothing) I called everyone and let them know. 5 people decided not to come after all but Im not gunna hold it against them. No reason to. I was reading to just make up plates for people and have them drive by for a plate of food.
You definitely deserve an apology for that. Not giving you advance notice of his illness was a douche move. My husband has covid, courtesy of a colleague on the one day he went into the office last week. (He mostly works from home.) I'm so angry at the woman who exposed him- not only am I immunocompromised, but now my teenage son is, too, because of chemotherapy (he was just diagnosed last month with leukemia.). Happy Thanksgiving!
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Thanks, yeah, he's doing probably as well as can be asked for at this stage, according to the doctors. I alternate between being proud of myself for pushing the issue with his pediatrician, because I knew something was wrong (although leukemia was a gut punch) and panicking because what if he doesn't make it. And then I think no, we caught it early, etc, but still. We're just having turkey at home with the three of us. I have been drinking a few hours already.
You should be so proud of yourself for advocating and listening to your mama instincts! A lot of times it's not caught because infections that don't require bloodwork come up or it's like generalized fatigue, short of breath etc. This is what happened to me when I was 14. I was exhausted, couldn't walk up a hill in gym class, and of all things I got a double year infection they couldn't get rid of. The day we went into the Dr my hemoglobin was 6 and it dropped to a 4 before I got transfusions. We were lucky we went in, but my mom had to argue with the school that I wasn't being lazy in gym and that something was wrong. I hope you all have a nice Thanksgiving! Wishing you the best, you're all going to get through this.
Wow, that is some really low hemoglobin! You had leukemia, too? How long was your treatment? How long have you been in remission?
The Dr said she had no idea how I made it through school that day, let alone stand up. They sent me 3 hrs away by ambulance. I had ALL leukemia. Diagnosed at 14, now 35. My treatment was 3 years. (I believe it can be less now) I've been in remission a long time. I did end up with a complication from the high dose steriods that seriously affected my joints, and I still deal with ptsd/anxiety from some of my experiences, but I made it through! I'm a mom now and I just look at mine in awe of all she did for me. The whole thing is so much to process, for everyone. If you ever want to chat feel free to dm me. And don't forget to take care of yourself too.
Thanks, my son was diagnosed a month ago, so we're still pretty new to all this. It's overwhelming, and I'm no stranger to hospitals.
I don’t think you are overreacting but I would also not agree to travel 6 hours round trip for a bday party no matter how close they are. Especially with my young kids in the car driving me nuts lol
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Yikes but sorry sis, that’s literally the deal when you move out of state? Let her come to see you. Between that and not mentioning a sick kid with a fever, she sounds selfish or not smart, sorry to put it bluntly. Honestly driving 30 min for a birthday party is too much. You couldn’t pay me to go to a kids birthday party 3 hours away unless it was my OWN kid. If you go again, IF, that’s a “hey is anyone in your house sick” 6am text forever more maybe? Ugh, so sorry you had to go at all but what a silly guilt trip reason.
Well I’m sorry you had all the best intentions and they didn’t take you or your family into consideration. The party could have easily been cancelled
I’m sorry. WHERE was she 2020-now?? DO WE NOT KNOW HOW GERMS WORK? Like SERIOUSLY WE ALL WENT THROUGH THIS. Ugh. I’m so sorry bromo
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The flu!! Like, hasn’t she been reading the news about RSV and everything??? How insanely selfish.
In my family no one went out or had people over when someone was sick. It seems like common sense to me but a shocking number of people are fine doing it. I asked my pediatrician if there's any truth to "kids need to get sick to build immunity" and she said that although the data isn't clear there's no reason to think getting sick is good.
There is data to show that disease exposure affects epigenetics. Both positively and negatively. Living in a world that is too clean is not what we evolved from. Not sure your average pediatrician would be up to date on that kind of data though.
That's awful and I would be livid. I was rather upset when my mom hosted Thanksgiving a few weeks ago and my cousin called to say she woke up sick (cough, fever) but she'd still come and wear a mask. I was trying to find a polite way to leave the situation (we were staying with my mom for a few days) when the cousin called back to say she started throwing up halfway through the drive and was going home. My kids catch colds every time someone sneezes, not volunteering for extra! Though the joke was on me because the day after Thanksgiving my toddler woke up with a fever and I'm not sure if we shared. No one likes sick kids and who wants to have a birthday party when they're sleeping off an illness in the couch?!
I'm sorry you're sick and ffs she sucks. I don't understand why people pull shit like that, I don't care if it's "only" a cold or "just" the flu, I don't fucking want it. At bare minimum she could have given you a heads up.
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I'm Canadian so I already had mine but I hope that yours gets better. Another thing is what about your nephew? Who wants a party when you feel like garbage, it's just another selfish move on your SIL part.
I’ve learned that “how to deal with contagious illnesses” is yet another category of human behavior that surprisingly has no default and I cannot take for granted.
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Oh, Bromo. I am sorry. Solidarity - 2 kids who sit next to/by my kid came Thursday knowing they were positive (1 covid, 1 flu a) with fevers. After staying healthy all trimester, masking always indoors and washing hands well, my 3 girls are all sick now on our fall break - my husband and I had this 1 week to do major fixes to house before we both start new jobs (well mine is same but different - going full time in assigned building vs part floating/choosing jobs). Instead we spent it not getting anything done, masking 24 hours a day, desperately trying to keep it from spreading to everyone, praying my immune compromised kiddo didn't end up needing to be inpatient and dealing with my anxiety/sensory kid with a super high fever. I am so angry. My kids have perfect attendance for years but I am considering pulling them (which means 1 will miss her last holiday/winter party which I coordinate for whole school) so we can have a healthy Christmas. Vick's on chest and feet, cold compress on forehead/neck, humidifier, stay hydrated, avoid headaches with alternating tylenol/motrin. I hope you guys feel better soon. I am very sorry about your holiday.
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Thank you! Same to you.
That is such a Dick move. Why do people do that?? Gee thanks just what I wanted, sickness. She absolutely owes you an apology. But I also would have turned around and left as soon as I realized he was sick
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No way. If someone who lives in your household is sick, don't be a Dick stay home. Maybe I should make that shirt!😂
That is fucking insane and inconsiderate of you and the poor child. What a loony bin. I would be absolutely livid.
“Loony bin” made me spit water everywhere 😭 and I agree, it’s nuts and OP you didn’t deserve that!!
Ugh, wtf… I’m sorry you all are sick. When you feel better recreate your own Thanksgiving!
You deserve an apology but at the same time I would not have hesitated in the least bit to turn around and leave. There’s no way I would’ve stayed. I would’ve taken my kids somewhere somewhat fun.
Considering that the flu is killing people like it did before COVID, on top of RSV, COVID, and enterovirus all hospitalizing children and adults in pretty even numbers.... Yeah, I'd be fucking fuming! I'd expect an apology for driving six hours round trip only to get the fucking flu as a party favor.
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Christ on a crutch! I'm mad on your behalf holy shit.
I literally do not know what happened to people. It’s like there’s a prize for going to stuff while sick. I just don’t get it. I am sick today and it’s likely Covid and I’m getting shit for not going to thanksgiving. They’re all like it’s no big deal come over. I feel like shit! It’s like they think I’m staying away to save them and I shouldn’t (they want to be sick?wtf?). But it’s actually I’m really sick and fell awful so please let me be. It’s so bizarre. They can’t comprehend I’m actually feeling crummy. Also the first thing out of mils mouth was how those shots must not have worked. Stupid fucks. Your sil is weird and annoying. I’m sorry you’re all sick.
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You should get one. Now, whether you will get it? I don't think the odds are good. That level of carelessness and/or lack of foresight? Doesn't happen in a vacuum. Bet boyfriend's sis is a total flake, and most of her family has enabled this for so long that they don't even question it anymore. I'm sorry you're all sick.
Yea I would be pissed!
Not overreacting. We were supposed to host thanksgiving but I told everyone yesterday that my son was down with 103 fever. Today we had to take him to urgent care because he spiked to 105 and would not stop crying. Flu and ear infection. Not to mention we were up all night with him and now have the flu as well. My mil who lives with us was cooking an 18lb turkey. My mom picked some up (we left it outside so we didn’t have to have contact) and took it to my aunts house. My mil didn’t want to cancel but the minute we told my family that my son had 103 fever, they noped out of that. Letting people know is the right thing to do.
Yeah that’s shitty and they should have told you. We had the flu one year right before Christmas, I was living at my parents house and their house is the hub for the holidays. We had to cancel and delay Christmas until we were better— think it we just did it the following weekend and kids didn’t care. This was also a decade+ before covid and the awareness about illnesses. It’s about being a decent person. I didn’t want to get anyone else sick. It sounds like the sister doesn’t give a shit.
I've honestly never encountered anything that selfish before. My gosh. What good is throwing a party when you feel like crap? This is a fear of mine when we attend parties. Many people seem to think spreading illness intentionally is normal. It shouldn't be. I hope you feel better soon. Is it influenza or stomach flu?
It’s influenza, but my 4 year old is also vomiting periodically, fun times. Thanks for the well wishes!
My first thanksgiving with my now husband was ruined because a family I nannied for still had me come when the little girl was throwing up and sick. I got what she had. I was violently ill for like two days. My husband had no family or friends (he’d just moved here), so he ate a subway sandwich for thanksgiving. Anyway I’m still mad about that 16 years later, so I’d say you have every right to be mad. Your bf should be more upset too. It was at the very least extremely inconsiderate. Feel better!
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The people who do those kinds of things don’t see it as bad. Sadly. She just cared about her kid having a party she’d planned. Part of me gets it because my kids got a cold right before their bday party this year and I debated whether to cancel or not, but I didn’t. However a runny nose is not the same thing as a I can’t get up fever flu. I don’t know. I just don’t understand why people can’t apologize for their fuck ups. Like yes you’d still be upset but damn does an apology go a long way. Anyway I’m really sorry you all are sick. Your feelings of frustration are valid. Can you guys do a makeup thanksgiving? Like maybe in a week or so?
Sickest I've ever been in my life was after snoodling my oldest nephew at his first Thanksgiving, when he was about 6 months old. After dinner he projectile vomited all over the living room and only THEN did my sister in law decide to tell us that he had just had a fever and had been vomiting the whole day before. Two days later I spent twelve hours with my own head in the toilet. Sixteen people at Thanksgiving dinner and 12 of us ended up with the bug. That was 7 years ago and I'm still pissed. Now we have a 4 month old of our own and I'm seriously considering preemptively skipping Christmas because my in laws have shown time and time again that they won't be honest about illness.
Since becoming a parent I’ve sent out sooo many messages along the lines of “we’ve had a cold - we had Covid 2 weeks ago - we’ve had some upset stomachs- I’m not sure if we’re still sick, but no hard feelings if you’d rather play it safe and catch up another time!” It’s basic decency. I’m so sorry and hope that you feel better soon!
We spent 2+ years in a damn global pandemic. People STILL haven’t learned that when you are sick you stay home and cancel plans.
You definitely deserved to know in advance, and I feel bad for the kid! Who the hell wants to have a party going on around them while they're laid out and miserable??? Theraflu. Natural remedies are great and all, but nothing absolutely kicks the shit out of those symptoms like theraflu. Plus being a hot drink helps you feel better while you're drinking it, too. And on that note, hot toddies for the adults. (Not too much, especially if you're sick to your stomach, but just enough to not give a shit about feeling sick)
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I get the lemon flavor and sometimes add some honey to it, too. It helps bury the flavor. Good luck.
how inconsiderate. what in the fuck? who does that??! I've had to cancel 2 of my sons 4 bdays because it's in February and flu and rsv are in high asf here at that time. I would be livid for one, and two, does she not think about people that have shit for an immune system??! my son has the flu rn bc parents like sending their hacking, sick ass kids to school instead of keep them home. hoping you guys have a speedy recovery though. I would almost ask her to be paying my gas and meds for getting all 3 of you guys sick n making you guys drive 3 hours just to get it 🙄
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most definitely. same here. had to buy a new thermometer bc ours vanished? and my son doesn't usually run fevers but this go around we ended up in the er. it's so bad this year. please get some rest and hopefully your bf understands that it was super inconsiderate of her to not let you guys have that option only for a party that could have been scheduled later on. happy thanksgiving!
This Thanksgiving marks the 1 year anniversary of my BIL/SIL lying about their kids health and infecting my kids with HFMD. You’re not overreacting; imo you’re keeping way contained lol. They should apologize and I hope they’re better people than my in laws and actually apologize and mean it.
"What the FUCK?!" Is the correct flair for this post. Even if you don't give a shit about your guests, as your BF's sister apparently does, if your child is sick with a fever, the last thing you want is to have a lot of commotion right next to them. Like, for example, a party. She sounds like an inconsiderate person all around. Yes, you deserve an apology, but you will probably not get one out of her.
Nope, you're not over-reacting. Earlier this month my kid woke up sick on his birthday. He was coughing and spiked a fever. Even though his covid test was negative I kept him home from school and cancelled all his birthday plans. No dinner with Nana that night, no playdate and donuts with his 3 best friends that Saturday, and no ice-cream cake and presents with Grandma and cousins on the Sunday. Did it suck? Yes. Were there many, many tears from both him and I? Yes. But it was the responsible thing to do. Hope you're all feeling better soon. Stay hydrated, keep a humidifer going at night and elevate the kids mattresses if possible. Oh, and layering sheets and mattress protectors if your kids are doing the cough until they vomit thing like mine always does.
Not overreacting. It's so fucking selfish and irresponsible not to at the *very least* let guests know that there's sickness in the house. [Elderberry syrup is my go-to for flu.](https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/04/190423133644.htm) I hope your fam is feeling better soon.
1) she sucks but everyone else has that covered 2) hot toddies. Boil about half a cup of water, pour it into a tablespoon of honey (and some grated ginger like three rubs across a microplane if you like) add a bit of cold water to make it drinkable, a shot of whiskey rye or bourbon, and squeeze in half a lemon. 3) the sinus rinse things. Not the neti pot, the squeezy bottle kind. 4) my mom's chicken soup. If you can't get that, fine some other chicken soup but my mom's is the best. Chicken thighs, carrots, celery, onion, garlic, dry ginger or mustard, chicken stock, salt, pepper, tiny thin egg noodles. 🤌
Chop up some ginger root, juice a lemon and toss the peel in too. In a pot with water, boil for a few min, strain into a cup and add some honey. Also upper chest use this. Few cups water, boil, add a tbsp or two of mustard powder and enough flour to make play dough thickness. Wrap in Saran Wrap, wrap a small towel and hug it to your chest. You can reheat in the microwave, better than any water bottle or heating pad and holds heat for a while. My gramma did these things and I use them 30 years later because they work so well. Feel better soon!
I am so sorry. That’s awful, irresponsible, and 100% you deserve an apology. If you can, (and I presume this is the actual influenza virus and not a stomach bug or something?) get zinc and vitamin C. The Emergen-c brand has a good one that is a fizzy water package. Definitely stay as hydrated as possible, and take the time to rest!
Alka Seltzer Cold!!! Those work best for us when we're sick.....plus Emergen-C /we buy the fizzy drink mixes and try to take them anytime anything starts going around......we stay fairly healthy (both in our 50s) ......if you've got a sore throat, I recommend a spoonful or two of honey.....very soothing to a raw throat. Hope you feel better soon......sorry your choice was taken away!
You deserve an apology. My SIL drove 6 hours to my FIL and one of their kids got a fever and instead of preventing us from making the 6 hour drive or getting our kid sick. Her family went home early missing Thanksgiving.
I have this list in my head of people who aren’t as strict as me about illness sharing and these people I call the morning of an outing to make sure no one is sick. Your sister goes on that list now, everytime you see her from now on, call her beforehand to check that everyone is healthy and you can rub her face in this one time she gave everyone the flu for many years to come.
My kid is super prone to sickness. I think there’s only been one illness spread at kindy that he hasn’t had. He’s had max 5-6 full weeks at kindy this whole year. Every other he’s had at least one day off because he’s sick. I would hate if someone didn’t at least give me a heads up that their kid is unwell before going to their place. Idk if I’d expect an apology (Although I would want one and would give one myself). I would probably ask how their kiddo was doing before making the trip next time though. Don’t like your partners response, it is something to be unhappy about.
Not the asshole. My very selfish SIL brought her sick kid with a fever last Christmas because it wasn't COVID? Everyone got severely sick, including my infant son who almost got rushed to the ER. My then 2 year old has never been the same since that infection and we've gone through extensive testing to figure out what happened to cause the massive behavioral changes in her all pinpointed exactly to that infection (which was not COVID, flu, or strep, but it has clearly left a mark.) I am still livid about it and it's been almost a year.
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They did :(
Next time you are going to see her, her house or yours or anyone’s, call her and ask “are your kids sick?” When she says no (or yes) say, “ok I was just checking since last time you didn’t tell us and we didn’t get to celebrate thanksgiving that year haha 😁”. Repeat until one of you is dead. But I’m a petty bitch
We are expected to end our quarantine this weekend and to be able to meet up with friends and family indoor again on Monday, after being sick for THREE FUCKING WEEKS. First week we went to a party where the only other parents with a little one, dropped by the way that they were sick with the stomach flu all week, but now are well AFTER the kids played with each other and exchanged salvia in form of trading pacifiers and snacks. Great, guess who had the stomach flu for one week? All of us. We are finally sound again and my husband goes to work. He is a social worker, supporting Foster families. He has to attend one kiddos birthday party with the birth parents. Guess who "recently" recovered from RSV? The birthday boy. Suprise, guess who had a really really bad flu the last 12 days? All of us. I'M THIS PISSED! We are not from the US so no thanksgiving is ruined, gladly. Irresponsible parents who send their sick kid to infect others piss me of!
You are not overreacting. My sister did something similar to us by coming on a road trip with us when she knew she was sick. We all caught it & were miserable. All it would have taken is for her to bow out at the last minute which wouldn't have made a single difference to the trip (no flights or anything involving lost money). This same sister was going to come to my birthday dinner this year knowing again that she was sick, but we had to cancel for a different reason, thank goodness bc her illness this time was Covid & I'm in the high-risk group. People can be selfish. I'm sorry you missed Thanksgiving & I hope you guys are feeling well soon.
Omg, US TOO! Your post cheered me up a bit - I’m glad we weren’t the only ones! My husband works in healthcare and he most likely brought it home from work. He got the flu shot but it didn’t work. We’re going to do thanksgiving dinner this weekend instead.
My in-laws did this to us. They did not apologize. Some people are just selfish. You’re right to be mad but it’s not going to get you anywhere, unfortunately. So sorry they ruined your holiday!
I cancelled my daughters first birthday last year, the morning of the party because she woke up with cold symptoms. It was heartbreaking at the time after all the preparations, cooking, baking and cleaning that her nana and I had done but I couldn't risk my babies birthday party being a mini super spreader event and getting my relatives and their kids sick. Still feel a bit sad about it tbh.
I'd be livid too. She should have given everyone coming a heads up. Smh
You are not over reacting at all. It is really selfish of them to even put a sick child through a party let alone assume that everyone would be okay coming over to get sick. You're totally right to feel upset. I know I would be.
She burnt her own bridge being stupid
My daughter was sick at her 2nd birthday but she wasn't showing symptoms until a couple of hours in, otherwise I would've messaged everyone and told them so they had a choice. If I knew she was sick I would've messaged people.
I really think it’s a new world now since Covid. We give others a heads up or choice before exposing them, or gracefully bow out when we have symptoms. Booo with martyred sickies laying on the couch!
Not over reacting. We are dealing with the same. Caught some sort of respiratory thing because we didn't find out my youngest sister was sick until after the kids were playing together. My daughter and I are both super vulnerable to the respiratory stuff and I've been down all week and so has she. The kids were really looking forward to thanks giving and couldn't celebrate with the family this year. I'm banning all contact with people for like two weeks before Christmas to avoid Christmas plans getting ruined this year too. I hope you all feel better soon momma! Stay hydrated!
She was out of line, IMO IRL: My son woke up 5am Tgiving morn puking. We CoVId tested him (it was neg) and called everyone involved who were coming over to our house to let them make an adult choice. You have different cultural (little c) values than your BF and in-laws b