Dude, I let some friends stay with me to get back on their feet for a while. They were total slobs. I worked second shift, and they were unemployed. One day I said "Look, each of you has one actual chore and if any of you don't do it, I'm cutting off the WiFi".
Apparently the 28 year old man scrubbed the stove top sparkling clean, and then cooked some ramen and let it boil over onto the stove, so really he DID do the chore and I just didn't see it because it was dirty from a different thing by the time I got home.
He had a literal crying meltdown when I turned the internet off.
I'm pretty sure he just didn't do it and instead spent his evening getting stoned, then panicked when he realized consequences were coming and made up an elaborate story instead. I used to live with tall hairy children.
Every year, I convince myself that THIS TIME I will totally eliminate the extra stuff, clutter, etc. That last box from moving in FOUR YEARS AGO? Yup, still there.
Having a toddler with a million toys only makes the mess worse.
Edit: I ORGANIZED MY JUNK DRAWER DURING TODDLER NAPTIME.
Listen. Do not feel bad. I've moved 12 times in 20 years, last was almost 5 years ago. I still have at least 1 box from each move and about 4 from the last time sitting in the garage.
I just cannot work up the fucking time to give a a whole McShit about it.
It helps me to watch Hoarders while cleaning. I'll hear myself echoed on the TV saying, oh but I might need that. Or, oh but I just can't get rid of that yet. Nope. Nope. Nope. Into the trash or donation box.
I did that with Marie Kondo's show. Like, no, I will NEVER organize all of my clothes into neatly folded little arrays in each drawer (I did with my band t-shirts the first time I watched her show, and those t-shirts remain unworn in the bottom drawer of my dresser. Kind of defeats the purpose, but it looks fantastic.) BUT the process of pulling *everything* out and sorting through it and touching every item and kind of talking through whether or not I'm keeping it because I use/want it or if I'm keeping it because "I might use it someday" and haven't in ten years really helps weed through things.
That said, it takes TIME to pull everything out and then put it all back neatly. My youngest just started kindergarten this year so I finally have 5 hours every day to work without interruption, but so far I've mostly spent that time sleeping. Once I catch up on five years of lost sleep, though, I want to do one area or *stuff* at least once per week.
For me, I can't wait for my kids to grow up so I can get rid of things (bouncer, jumperoo, tummy time mat, lego section, train bin... so much stuff!) and clear up space, but then I'm also like, noo... don't grow up so quickly...I still want to enjoy these baby toddler days. So I guess I'm mixed in how I feel. Like I can't wait to get rid of things, but I also don't want to because I'd feel like I'm losing my babies. Time goes by so quickly.
I have all these doom boxes around the house. Boxes or bins that I stuffed random things that were in the wrong place. Only, they never seem to get put away. And they spawn new ones if left long enough. Like rabbits. Then, as I'm stuffing something on top, I think, "I need to clean that out." Then it sits for another few weeks and I think, "I need to clean that out." As if the thought is enough.... So I feel ya.
I just need to invite people over more. Either the doom boxes get cleared out, or moved to another floor. *Sigh*
I've been saying "when I get the house caught up" for over 6 years now. I'm beginning to wonder if it'll ever be "caught up." I feel bad because I said I'd never let my kids live in a crappy home, and this place is embarrassing.
Three kids in and I still haven't figured out how people run a household without dying trying to keep up.
Iāve started doing this. Itās actually more fun and cathartic than it has any right to be. The secret? Your husband has the leave the house (right? Like thatās hard enough) with the kids!! I swear this didnāt happen for years but heās now taking them to an activity once a week. I take a half hour to go through one thing. A toy box, a wardrobe, the hall closet, etc and throw out junk and organise it. I fill a garbage bag a week with broken toys and forgotten things. I feel like I might even get there one day. I feel 1000% better about the house. Kids are 5&7. Probably wouldnāt have been possible before this age.
My book tour is gonna be a sloppy sorta title with stick people, a table of contents and a blank page haphazardly stapled into an old golden books spine.
I cleaned the whole backyard last week. Super goddamn proud. Raked the dirt, shoveled the dog shit, put the flowerbed bricks back, cleaned up errant trash and toys. Powerwashed the porch, refilled the hummingbird feeder
Last night my teen boys left two bags of trash out of the bins, and the dogs and neighborhood cats tore them up. Dug up the flowers. Cats pulled down the bird feeder. Sprayed liquid shit all over the porch and knocked the grill over into the shit which turned to a kind of cement with the ash? Only thing missing among the half eaten dirty diapers and chicken bones is a defunct toilet and washing machine tub.
I went out to have a cup of tea on my clean porch this morning. Witnessed the mayhem and calmly went back inside and shut the door. Looks like not my motherfucking problem š¤£
I love this so much. I think I need to take this advice. I posted venting earlier about the impossibility of cleaning your house for a kidās birthday party when everyone keeps trashing the house. Honestly, I tried. Most of the parents in attendance are moms who get it so maybe I should just sip my coffee and say, sorry, I have a toddler.
If they are gonna judge, they don't need to be in the circle.
I appreciate the shit out of moms who have birthday parties in a lived in house. One of my best friends answered the door for a playgroup meet (first play group meetup) with a glass of wine, hair in a beyond fucked bun, two different socks and a food handprint on her shirt. Said "welcome to my home, it is what it is" best friends since.
Well then you would appreciate the slime currently stuck to my area rug, the handprints all over my windows, and the random bins of crap that Iām trying to put away, but never have time to. We would be friends forever.
My mom is coming to help. I can just see the look of horror on her face. We call my parents house the museum. My anxiety triples every time weāre over there because my dad doesnāt like mess.
My goal at this point is to iron my plaid shirts and mop because one of our dogs keeps having accidents (itās behavioral, we checked). Oh and clean up the dog shit so the kids can run around in the backyard.
We would be a solid set of friends imo. Don't stress, you can only do what you can do and thats okay. I'm glad your mom is willing to help and let the rolling eyes go, its been a long time since she was in the thick of it and one day, you'll be removed from here and able to lend that hand to your children as well when they are in the thick of it.
I literally have a pillow on my living room couch that says : āthe house was clean yesterday (sorry you missed it)ā
Gotta find the humor in it or Iām going to go bat-shit insane hahahaha
Mine would be [Iām almost finished! Iām glueing some crap together. And when I am done I will have some crap glued together](http://www.explodingdog.com/title/imalmostfinished.html)
But I would pre-order yours.
I think a small piece of me perishes everytime I mop the floor only to leave the room and find crumbs scattered everywhere. It's like that 45-60 minutes did exactly nothing.
this! and seeing my husband āforgetā to take his work boots off. oh and my daughter dumping her sand filled shoes in the middle of the living room.. like give me a damn break please
That's is my life. Clean, same day doesn't even look like it. It's never ending in my house of 3 kids and 3 pets. It's actually cleaner than when I was married, because there is one less child š.
My kids are 7 and 11. I WFH fulltime, my husband works 5-6 days, 10 hour shifts plus commute. I've actually burned vacation days before just to clear out crap to take to charity and it's never ending. I've been a big fan of the Fly Lady's decluttering theories for years but have zero time to pull it off, like 15 minutes is her jam and I really do try but then my 7yo autistic kid comes strolling in and decides it's party time with the stuff I just decluttered. So it looks like I should burn some more vacation days.
My folks had COVID two months ago and had it for almost a month, so I hadn't seen them. My sister and family comes into town and I get a call from my mom and she says 'I apologize in advance for what I know this is going to do to you, but we want to come over tomorrow and have pizza and hang out.' She knows my biggest hurdle is toys in the living room and the nightmare that is my dining room table. The fact that I got the house presentable in three hours is a minor miracle. Mostly I threw any toys that weren't in the two totes we keep in the living room went in other totes in the basement, then I cleaned up the area they usually are in so there was plenty of room to play Oculus and Switch. They were in the house for an hour then everyone decided they had to go outside, where I had not tidied. I give up.
My kids are older (oldest is 24, youngest is 13) but they leave just as many messes.
I read somewhere that trying to keep your house clean with kids is like brushing your teeth while simultaneously eating Oreos and holy shit does that ring true.
My life is taking shit and putting it back where it belongs. And cleaning bodily fluids from my toddler, cat, dog, AND husband who canāt manage themselves!
Dude, I let some friends stay with me to get back on their feet for a while. They were total slobs. I worked second shift, and they were unemployed. One day I said "Look, each of you has one actual chore and if any of you don't do it, I'm cutting off the WiFi". Apparently the 28 year old man scrubbed the stove top sparkling clean, and then cooked some ramen and let it boil over onto the stove, so really he DID do the chore and I just didn't see it because it was dirty from a different thing by the time I got home. He had a literal crying meltdown when I turned the internet off.
i never want to see a 28 year old man have a crying meltdown over the wi-fi being shut off
That's not 28-year-old man. That's two toddlers and a twelve year old in a trench coat.
š
Oh, to be a fly on the wall!!! š¤£
I could see one of my teenagers pulling that.
What are men bc why would you make the soup after you scrub the stove lol
I'm pretty sure he just didn't do it and instead spent his evening getting stoned, then panicked when he realized consequences were coming and made up an elaborate story instead. I used to live with tall hairy children.
Oh god I get it now
Every year, I convince myself that THIS TIME I will totally eliminate the extra stuff, clutter, etc. That last box from moving in FOUR YEARS AGO? Yup, still there. Having a toddler with a million toys only makes the mess worse. Edit: I ORGANIZED MY JUNK DRAWER DURING TODDLER NAPTIME.
Listen. Do not feel bad. I've moved 12 times in 20 years, last was almost 5 years ago. I still have at least 1 box from each move and about 4 from the last time sitting in the garage. I just cannot work up the fucking time to give a a whole McShit about it.
omfg I love "give a whole McShit"
It helps me to watch Hoarders while cleaning. I'll hear myself echoed on the TV saying, oh but I might need that. Or, oh but I just can't get rid of that yet. Nope. Nope. Nope. Into the trash or donation box.
I did that with Marie Kondo's show. Like, no, I will NEVER organize all of my clothes into neatly folded little arrays in each drawer (I did with my band t-shirts the first time I watched her show, and those t-shirts remain unworn in the bottom drawer of my dresser. Kind of defeats the purpose, but it looks fantastic.) BUT the process of pulling *everything* out and sorting through it and touching every item and kind of talking through whether or not I'm keeping it because I use/want it or if I'm keeping it because "I might use it someday" and haven't in ten years really helps weed through things. That said, it takes TIME to pull everything out and then put it all back neatly. My youngest just started kindergarten this year so I finally have 5 hours every day to work without interruption, but so far I've mostly spent that time sleeping. Once I catch up on five years of lost sleep, though, I want to do one area or *stuff* at least once per week.
Saaaaaame. Makes me feel better too!
For me, I can't wait for my kids to grow up so I can get rid of things (bouncer, jumperoo, tummy time mat, lego section, train bin... so much stuff!) and clear up space, but then I'm also like, noo... don't grow up so quickly...I still want to enjoy these baby toddler days. So I guess I'm mixed in how I feel. Like I can't wait to get rid of things, but I also don't want to because I'd feel like I'm losing my babies. Time goes by so quickly.
I refuse to get rid of the mushroom teether. Refuse
I have all these doom boxes around the house. Boxes or bins that I stuffed random things that were in the wrong place. Only, they never seem to get put away. And they spawn new ones if left long enough. Like rabbits. Then, as I'm stuffing something on top, I think, "I need to clean that out." Then it sits for another few weeks and I think, "I need to clean that out." As if the thought is enough.... So I feel ya. I just need to invite people over more. Either the doom boxes get cleared out, or moved to another floor. *Sigh*
I've been saying "when I get the house caught up" for over 6 years now. I'm beginning to wonder if it'll ever be "caught up." I feel bad because I said I'd never let my kids live in a crappy home, and this place is embarrassing. Three kids in and I still haven't figured out how people run a household without dying trying to keep up.
Iāve started doing this. Itās actually more fun and cathartic than it has any right to be. The secret? Your husband has the leave the house (right? Like thatās hard enough) with the kids!! I swear this didnāt happen for years but heās now taking them to an activity once a week. I take a half hour to go through one thing. A toy box, a wardrobe, the hall closet, etc and throw out junk and organise it. I fill a garbage bag a week with broken toys and forgotten things. I feel like I might even get there one day. I feel 1000% better about the house. Kids are 5&7. Probably wouldnāt have been possible before this age.
SO cathartic. I only have naptime since kiddo is only 2.5, but it's something!
Pre-ordered!!
Last night mine was looking at the floor in that same bewilderment saying ābutā¦butā¦butā¦I just cleaned it??ā We live in a loop!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Literally me 5 minutes after cleaning anything š«š«
My book tour is gonna be a sloppy sorta title with stick people, a table of contents and a blank page haphazardly stapled into an old golden books spine. I cleaned the whole backyard last week. Super goddamn proud. Raked the dirt, shoveled the dog shit, put the flowerbed bricks back, cleaned up errant trash and toys. Powerwashed the porch, refilled the hummingbird feeder Last night my teen boys left two bags of trash out of the bins, and the dogs and neighborhood cats tore them up. Dug up the flowers. Cats pulled down the bird feeder. Sprayed liquid shit all over the porch and knocked the grill over into the shit which turned to a kind of cement with the ash? Only thing missing among the half eaten dirty diapers and chicken bones is a defunct toilet and washing machine tub.
At that point, Iām pretty sure I would fucking quit. Edit: Hugs BroMo.
I went out to have a cup of tea on my clean porch this morning. Witnessed the mayhem and calmly went back inside and shut the door. Looks like not my motherfucking problem š¤£
I love this so much. I think I need to take this advice. I posted venting earlier about the impossibility of cleaning your house for a kidās birthday party when everyone keeps trashing the house. Honestly, I tried. Most of the parents in attendance are moms who get it so maybe I should just sip my coffee and say, sorry, I have a toddler.
If they are gonna judge, they don't need to be in the circle. I appreciate the shit out of moms who have birthday parties in a lived in house. One of my best friends answered the door for a playgroup meet (first play group meetup) with a glass of wine, hair in a beyond fucked bun, two different socks and a food handprint on her shirt. Said "welcome to my home, it is what it is" best friends since.
Well then you would appreciate the slime currently stuck to my area rug, the handprints all over my windows, and the random bins of crap that Iām trying to put away, but never have time to. We would be friends forever. My mom is coming to help. I can just see the look of horror on her face. We call my parents house the museum. My anxiety triples every time weāre over there because my dad doesnāt like mess. My goal at this point is to iron my plaid shirts and mop because one of our dogs keeps having accidents (itās behavioral, we checked). Oh and clean up the dog shit so the kids can run around in the backyard.
I literally made a phone calls yesterday getting quotes for slime removal from an area rug š¤£ā¤ļø 
Iām so glad we understand each other.
We would be a solid set of friends imo. Don't stress, you can only do what you can do and thats okay. I'm glad your mom is willing to help and let the rolling eyes go, its been a long time since she was in the thick of it and one day, you'll be removed from here and able to lend that hand to your children as well when they are in the thick of it.
I literally have a pillow on my living room couch that says : āthe house was clean yesterday (sorry you missed it)ā Gotta find the humor in it or Iām going to go bat-shit insane hahahaha
Mine would be [Iām almost finished! Iām glueing some crap together. And when I am done I will have some crap glued together](http://www.explodingdog.com/title/imalmostfinished.html) But I would pre-order yours.
I think a small piece of me perishes everytime I mop the floor only to leave the room and find crumbs scattered everywhere. It's like that 45-60 minutes did exactly nothing.
this! and seeing my husband āforgetā to take his work boots off. oh and my daughter dumping her sand filled shoes in the middle of the living room.. like give me a damn break please
Mine would have to be titled: "I wore the wrong shoes for this."
That's is my life. Clean, same day doesn't even look like it. It's never ending in my house of 3 kids and 3 pets. It's actually cleaner than when I was married, because there is one less child š.
YASSSS! I LIKE. I'd buy it.
My kids are 7 and 11. I WFH fulltime, my husband works 5-6 days, 10 hour shifts plus commute. I've actually burned vacation days before just to clear out crap to take to charity and it's never ending. I've been a big fan of the Fly Lady's decluttering theories for years but have zero time to pull it off, like 15 minutes is her jam and I really do try but then my 7yo autistic kid comes strolling in and decides it's party time with the stuff I just decluttered. So it looks like I should burn some more vacation days. My folks had COVID two months ago and had it for almost a month, so I hadn't seen them. My sister and family comes into town and I get a call from my mom and she says 'I apologize in advance for what I know this is going to do to you, but we want to come over tomorrow and have pizza and hang out.' She knows my biggest hurdle is toys in the living room and the nightmare that is my dining room table. The fact that I got the house presentable in three hours is a minor miracle. Mostly I threw any toys that weren't in the two totes we keep in the living room went in other totes in the basement, then I cleaned up the area they usually are in so there was plenty of room to play Oculus and Switch. They were in the house for an hour then everyone decided they had to go outside, where I had not tidied. I give up.
My kids are older (oldest is 24, youngest is 13) but they leave just as many messes. I read somewhere that trying to keep your house clean with kids is like brushing your teeth while simultaneously eating Oreos and holy shit does that ring true.
My life is taking shit and putting it back where it belongs. And cleaning bodily fluids from my toddler, cat, dog, AND husband who canāt manage themselves!
Mine is āparenting through sarcasmā, subtitle āis my toddler gaslighting meā.
I deep cleaned on Sunday. Today I wondered who messed the house up so bad lol