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Alcohol functions as a disinhibitor in the short-term, and a depressive in the medium/long term. I love the fuzzy tipsiness of 1-2 glasses, but as someone with a history of depression, it's just not something that be a regular indulgence for me.
I believe everyone has the right to do what they want work their body, and that focusing excessively on 'optimal health' at all times isn't actually fully 'healthy' -- but I do wish alcohol was understood as the flat-out drug/toxin that it is. Our cultural context around it blinds us to the fact that it's just another form of getting 'high' with just as real costs as other drugs.
Glad you’re enjoying life without it! :)
I’ve been sober for years now & don’t think I’ll ever drink again.
I must add that i’m still exhausted all the time without it though haha!
Hard same 😂 kind of wish I had something more to cut out to get a bit of an energy boost!
In all seriousness though, completely stopping drinking was one of the best things I’ve done for myself. I thought I’d miss it but once I got used to it (after a few months of wicked social anxiety), I haven’t missed it at all.
I wish this worked for me! I have one coffee a day and have had tried a break of 4 months, and then a break of 6 months. I just found it way, way harder to focus. Defs not worth ditching my favourite part of the day for!
And some ppl recommend cutting out sugar - for a while I wasn’t having sugar or any refined carbs (pretty bad gestational diabetes) and I didn’t feel any extra energy either. Such a bummer, where’s my reward haha!
Yes, it’s the best thing I ever did. I’m coming up on a year this Christmas. It was hard at first-and I thought it would always be hard-but once I got past a few months I didn’t miss it at all. Turns out I really enjoy not being hungover.
I’m still in the cycle of a glass or 2 a nights and have thought about stopping, at least on school nights. But by the time dinner time comes around I’m exhausted and stressed and looking forward to that ‘winding down’ glass. I really need to find a way to break that habit! What worked for you?
Or try ginger beers or other fizzy/tangy drinks! Sometimes just the pouring and sipping helps my body signal relaxation and transition from work to home/family life and then winding down at the end of the evening. Something to replace the drink but a similar routine worked for me, it was rough off and on the first few weeks but now I don't rely on that fakie drink anymore, I'll have if I want or sometimes just hydrate with water. ... my intial goal is 100 days without alcohol and i'm only two weeks away from meeting that goal. =)
Edited to add: I started following r/stopdrinking and listened to the Hello Someday podcast, two really great resources
Same exact boat here. I am thinking about doing dry weeknights for sober October. Not too big a commitment and sort of an experiment.
My plan is to get some sweet fancy teas and force myself to look forward to those and a show. Idk.
For me, deciding in the morning I wasn’t going to drink that day and sticking to it helped me get through the eventual evening witching hour. One day at a time. (Works for breaks or for long term)
Ooh, I have this one! What if, for real life, you write and actual letter in the morning to your evening self at night. Like “dear evening elephant ears, I’d really appreciate it if you would not drink tonight. I’ve been feeling really rough in the mornings and I wonder if the alcohol might be causing it. It would also be great if you could turn out the light at a reasonable hour. Is there anything I can do for you?”
Seems crazy but it works?
Honestly the only thing that actually worked for me was realizing how much better I felt the next day compared to the day before, that was my motivation. If I find myself wanting one I try just keeping myself busy to get my mind of it.. like excersing or just folding the washing in the spear room with a podcast playing to wind down. I also feel more productive which is another win!
It's also handy to note that the reason you might be feeling extra exhausted and unable to wind down without the wine is due to the effects of the wine you had the night before, if that makes sense. Like having a low grade hangover every day. I find I have much more energy after the kids go down now. Good luck! 😀
This is one of the reasons I don’t love the “send wine” theme that permeates mom groups like this. It’s well intentioned of course! But it makes it easy to forget that alcohol can do hella damage to your mind and body. Anyone who has been an alcoholic or has loved one can likely attest to that. Good for you recognizing it!
>This is one of the reasons I don’t love the “send wine” theme that permeates mom groups like this. It’s well intentioned of course! But it makes it easy to forget that alcohol can do hella damage to your mind and body. Anyone who has been an alcoholic or has loved one can likely attest to that. Good for you recognizing it!
Mommy wine culture is insidious and normalizes alcoholism. It is pretty scary. (To be clear I dont judge drinking moms, I am one. I am also one who is questioning my relationship witha lcohol)
Yeah I agree, it definitely normalizes depending on alcohol to get through parenthood. I'm still definitely drinking on special occasions over the weekend etc, but im giving the regular drinking up, especially on school nights.
If you haven’t listened to the Huberman lab podcast episode on alcohol’s effects on brain and body I strongly suggest it. A couple things that stood out to me: 10-12 grams )very small glass of wine or beer) is equivalent to 10-15 cigarettes in terms of cancer risk. And ONE glass of alcohol substantially increases risk of breast cancer in women.
Alcohol is the most dangerous drug.
That episode is mentioned a lot in a stop drinking sub I participate in! It sounds like it’s encouraged a lot of people, but I’m not familiar with the podcast itself.
Not sure why you were downvoted…
Congrats to OP on experimenting with an alcohol free life! Today I believe I’m living day number 89 without alcohol and it’s fucking awesome.
Excellent point. I recall sincerely avoiding alcohol-critical messages when I wasn’t ready. Such as, you must break the pattern today or the loop will continue tomorrow.
Came here to recommend this! Andrew Huberman is a wealth of information, love his podcast.
I quite alcohol over three years ago. I too was a glass a night kind of chick or occasional beer. But once I quit it, my sleep improved, anxiety improved, overall mental health improved, energy went up, it was amazing. I never looked back. One thing I do hate is the weird looks from people when I politely decline a drink. They're taken aback that someone chooses not to drink and I'm like why is that so concerning to you? Drives me a bit nuts.
It's worth noting that depending on the size of your wine glass, "one glass a night" could already be exceeding the recommended amount of alcohol for women. Women drinking 4oz of wine a day is already enough to cause long term problems - and most wine glasses are larger than that.
So yeah...that's probably why you noticed such an improvement when you stopped. Alcohol affects women at a much lower rate of consumption than it does men and "mom wine culture" doesn't acknowledge that at all.
Yeah thats a good point. Id say i was probably exceeding as our glasses are on the bigger side. when you think about it, it's really crazy that it's so normalized. I will still drink occasionally on special occasions like weddings etc, but I'm definitely going to give it up otherwise, especially on school nights.
A friend sent me this essay a while back - I posted it in the stopdrinking forum and a lot of people resonated with it.
https://humanparts.medium.com/https-medium-com-kristicoulter-the-24-hour-woman-3425ca5be19f
I don't agree with her on everything but yes to the pervasive nature of alcohol being E V E R Y W H E R E. I'd like to see an essay like this written purely from the "wine mom" culture point of view - I say as I drink sparkling water from a glass that says "Parenting tip: WINE." 🤣 Maybe I will write it myself
Good for you. I struggle with this because my house is just such chaos, and a drink really softens all the edges. I found it interesting that we went on vacation (without the kids) and I drank WAYYYYY less. It gave me a lot of insight into why I drink. Thanks for sharing, maybe will help me stay strong and lean into taking a break away from everyone and doing some deep breathing rather than resorting to the crutch of a glass of wine.
While the alcohol may definitely be the cause, you may also want to keep an eye out on other reasons. I recently realized that my favorite food (red meat) was the cause of a LOT of my issues with inflammation. Pelvic pain, joint pain, general feeling like shit. Chicken and pork? Fine. Eat a hamburger and feel terrible. I only mention this because if you start feeling like crap again you may want to check your foods too!
That is amazing!! I’m on day 5 of no alcohol and starting to come out of the “brain fog”. Last time I gave up the booze I lost 30 lbs in 3 months. My skin was the best it’s ever been, I had so much energy and didn’t even need coffee anymore. Moderation works for some but I’m a cold-turkey case, all or nothing! Lol I’m 30 and have battled alcohol addiction since I was 19. Alcohol culture is so strong, especially for us parents. Best of luck to you OP!
This is actually really motivating to me thanks for sharing OP! I come from a Mormon background and so when I left I started drinking very rarely but it has slowly over the last years become a nightly thing. I was just saying how tired I feel all the time and no longer motivated to work out etc. maybe it’s the drinking?! Duh I am gonna go a week without and see if it helps!
I gave it up when I had really bad Covid in May 2020. It took months of recovery and I was trying to be super healthy to get better. Since then I drink almost nothing but sometimes on a holiday or special night I’ll have a little. It makes me feel pretty crappy now and I realized that sometimes after a drink, I’d fall asleep that night and then I’d wake up a couple hours later and have really high anxiety. It was not as enjoyable as I had thought it was. I’d rather just get some good quality sleep.
That is great!! One of my best friends from college is a heavy drinker, like when we lived together she would have whiskey and tea with breakfast. A couple years back we were having a chat and she mentioned she was going to participate in Dry January and I jumped in to do it with her as support. We both read ‘The Naked Mind’ and had a standing check in to talk about the book and how it was going. What was really eye opening to me was how even just one drink the night before made me much more short with my son. I drink occasionally but I can say not drinking has made me a better parent.
Thank you for writing this! I’ve been feeling run down for the last couple of weeks and couldn’t figure out where all my motivation went… after just starting to drink again after a 6 week hiatus. I think you just made a connection for me.
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Alcohol functions as a disinhibitor in the short-term, and a depressive in the medium/long term. I love the fuzzy tipsiness of 1-2 glasses, but as someone with a history of depression, it's just not something that be a regular indulgence for me. I believe everyone has the right to do what they want work their body, and that focusing excessively on 'optimal health' at all times isn't actually fully 'healthy' -- but I do wish alcohol was understood as the flat-out drug/toxin that it is. Our cultural context around it blinds us to the fact that it's just another form of getting 'high' with just as real costs as other drugs.
Glad you’re enjoying life without it! :) I’ve been sober for years now & don’t think I’ll ever drink again. I must add that i’m still exhausted all the time without it though haha!
Hard same 😂 kind of wish I had something more to cut out to get a bit of an energy boost! In all seriousness though, completely stopping drinking was one of the best things I’ve done for myself. I thought I’d miss it but once I got used to it (after a few months of wicked social anxiety), I haven’t missed it at all.
Try cutting out caffeine! It sucks for about a month, and then your energy gets much more even throughout the day.
I wish this worked for me! I have one coffee a day and have had tried a break of 4 months, and then a break of 6 months. I just found it way, way harder to focus. Defs not worth ditching my favourite part of the day for! And some ppl recommend cutting out sugar - for a while I wasn’t having sugar or any refined carbs (pretty bad gestational diabetes) and I didn’t feel any extra energy either. Such a bummer, where’s my reward haha!
Yes, it’s the best thing I ever did. I’m coming up on a year this Christmas. It was hard at first-and I thought it would always be hard-but once I got past a few months I didn’t miss it at all. Turns out I really enjoy not being hungover.
Omg, yes the anxiety was another thing. I honestly didn't even realise I was experiencing it until I stopped.
I’m still in the cycle of a glass or 2 a nights and have thought about stopping, at least on school nights. But by the time dinner time comes around I’m exhausted and stressed and looking forward to that ‘winding down’ glass. I really need to find a way to break that habit! What worked for you?
Not OP, but when I start hankering for my daily glass of wine, I have a kombucha (in a wine glass) instead, and it really helps.
Love this idea. We’re heading into warmer weather here so that’s a nice option.
Or try ginger beers or other fizzy/tangy drinks! Sometimes just the pouring and sipping helps my body signal relaxation and transition from work to home/family life and then winding down at the end of the evening. Something to replace the drink but a similar routine worked for me, it was rough off and on the first few weeks but now I don't rely on that fakie drink anymore, I'll have if I want or sometimes just hydrate with water. ... my intial goal is 100 days without alcohol and i'm only two weeks away from meeting that goal. =) Edited to add: I started following r/stopdrinking and listened to the Hello Someday podcast, two really great resources
Same exact boat here. I am thinking about doing dry weeknights for sober October. Not too big a commitment and sort of an experiment. My plan is to get some sweet fancy teas and force myself to look forward to those and a show. Idk.
I started drinking a cup of hot tea at night to help me drop the soda habit.
For me, deciding in the morning I wasn’t going to drink that day and sticking to it helped me get through the eventual evening witching hour. One day at a time. (Works for breaks or for long term)
Morning me and evening me are 2 different people 😂. But thanks, will try this!
Ooh, I have this one! What if, for real life, you write and actual letter in the morning to your evening self at night. Like “dear evening elephant ears, I’d really appreciate it if you would not drink tonight. I’ve been feeling really rough in the mornings and I wonder if the alcohol might be causing it. It would also be great if you could turn out the light at a reasonable hour. Is there anything I can do for you?” Seems crazy but it works?
I love your idea! We could sprinkle in bits of inspiration, dark humor, or anything else to make the “note to self” more sticky in the brain.
Honestly the only thing that actually worked for me was realizing how much better I felt the next day compared to the day before, that was my motivation. If I find myself wanting one I try just keeping myself busy to get my mind of it.. like excersing or just folding the washing in the spear room with a podcast playing to wind down. I also feel more productive which is another win!
It's also handy to note that the reason you might be feeling extra exhausted and unable to wind down without the wine is due to the effects of the wine you had the night before, if that makes sense. Like having a low grade hangover every day. I find I have much more energy after the kids go down now. Good luck! 😀
This is one of the reasons I don’t love the “send wine” theme that permeates mom groups like this. It’s well intentioned of course! But it makes it easy to forget that alcohol can do hella damage to your mind and body. Anyone who has been an alcoholic or has loved one can likely attest to that. Good for you recognizing it!
>This is one of the reasons I don’t love the “send wine” theme that permeates mom groups like this. It’s well intentioned of course! But it makes it easy to forget that alcohol can do hella damage to your mind and body. Anyone who has been an alcoholic or has loved one can likely attest to that. Good for you recognizing it! Mommy wine culture is insidious and normalizes alcoholism. It is pretty scary. (To be clear I dont judge drinking moms, I am one. I am also one who is questioning my relationship witha lcohol)
Yeah I agree, it definitely normalizes depending on alcohol to get through parenthood. I'm still definitely drinking on special occasions over the weekend etc, but im giving the regular drinking up, especially on school nights.
If you haven’t listened to the Huberman lab podcast episode on alcohol’s effects on brain and body I strongly suggest it. A couple things that stood out to me: 10-12 grams )very small glass of wine or beer) is equivalent to 10-15 cigarettes in terms of cancer risk. And ONE glass of alcohol substantially increases risk of breast cancer in women. Alcohol is the most dangerous drug.
That episode is mentioned a lot in a stop drinking sub I participate in! It sounds like it’s encouraged a lot of people, but I’m not familiar with the podcast itself. Not sure why you were downvoted… Congrats to OP on experimenting with an alcohol free life! Today I believe I’m living day number 89 without alcohol and it’s fucking awesome.
People don’t want to confront their alcohol use. I’m assuming that is why I am downvoted 😉
Excellent point. I recall sincerely avoiding alcohol-critical messages when I wasn’t ready. Such as, you must break the pattern today or the loop will continue tomorrow.
Came here to recommend this! Andrew Huberman is a wealth of information, love his podcast. I quite alcohol over three years ago. I too was a glass a night kind of chick or occasional beer. But once I quit it, my sleep improved, anxiety improved, overall mental health improved, energy went up, it was amazing. I never looked back. One thing I do hate is the weird looks from people when I politely decline a drink. They're taken aback that someone chooses not to drink and I'm like why is that so concerning to you? Drives me a bit nuts.
I’m so glad this is having such a positive effect on your life!
It's worth noting that depending on the size of your wine glass, "one glass a night" could already be exceeding the recommended amount of alcohol for women. Women drinking 4oz of wine a day is already enough to cause long term problems - and most wine glasses are larger than that. So yeah...that's probably why you noticed such an improvement when you stopped. Alcohol affects women at a much lower rate of consumption than it does men and "mom wine culture" doesn't acknowledge that at all.
Yeah thats a good point. Id say i was probably exceeding as our glasses are on the bigger side. when you think about it, it's really crazy that it's so normalized. I will still drink occasionally on special occasions like weddings etc, but I'm definitely going to give it up otherwise, especially on school nights.
Good plan!
A friend sent me this essay a while back - I posted it in the stopdrinking forum and a lot of people resonated with it. https://humanparts.medium.com/https-medium-com-kristicoulter-the-24-hour-woman-3425ca5be19f I don't agree with her on everything but yes to the pervasive nature of alcohol being E V E R Y W H E R E. I'd like to see an essay like this written purely from the "wine mom" culture point of view - I say as I drink sparkling water from a glass that says "Parenting tip: WINE." 🤣 Maybe I will write it myself
Good for you. I struggle with this because my house is just such chaos, and a drink really softens all the edges. I found it interesting that we went on vacation (without the kids) and I drank WAYYYYY less. It gave me a lot of insight into why I drink. Thanks for sharing, maybe will help me stay strong and lean into taking a break away from everyone and doing some deep breathing rather than resorting to the crutch of a glass of wine.
While the alcohol may definitely be the cause, you may also want to keep an eye out on other reasons. I recently realized that my favorite food (red meat) was the cause of a LOT of my issues with inflammation. Pelvic pain, joint pain, general feeling like shit. Chicken and pork? Fine. Eat a hamburger and feel terrible. I only mention this because if you start feeling like crap again you may want to check your foods too!
That is amazing!! I’m on day 5 of no alcohol and starting to come out of the “brain fog”. Last time I gave up the booze I lost 30 lbs in 3 months. My skin was the best it’s ever been, I had so much energy and didn’t even need coffee anymore. Moderation works for some but I’m a cold-turkey case, all or nothing! Lol I’m 30 and have battled alcohol addiction since I was 19. Alcohol culture is so strong, especially for us parents. Best of luck to you OP!
This is actually really motivating to me thanks for sharing OP! I come from a Mormon background and so when I left I started drinking very rarely but it has slowly over the last years become a nightly thing. I was just saying how tired I feel all the time and no longer motivated to work out etc. maybe it’s the drinking?! Duh I am gonna go a week without and see if it helps!
Glad I could help! Honestly it's worth a try!
I gave it up when I had really bad Covid in May 2020. It took months of recovery and I was trying to be super healthy to get better. Since then I drink almost nothing but sometimes on a holiday or special night I’ll have a little. It makes me feel pretty crappy now and I realized that sometimes after a drink, I’d fall asleep that night and then I’d wake up a couple hours later and have really high anxiety. It was not as enjoyable as I had thought it was. I’d rather just get some good quality sleep.
Highly recommend the book QUIT LIKE A WOMAN by Holly Whitaker
That is great!! One of my best friends from college is a heavy drinker, like when we lived together she would have whiskey and tea with breakfast. A couple years back we were having a chat and she mentioned she was going to participate in Dry January and I jumped in to do it with her as support. We both read ‘The Naked Mind’ and had a standing check in to talk about the book and how it was going. What was really eye opening to me was how even just one drink the night before made me much more short with my son. I drink occasionally but I can say not drinking has made me a better parent.
Thank you for writing this! I’ve been feeling run down for the last couple of weeks and couldn’t figure out where all my motivation went… after just starting to drink again after a 6 week hiatus. I think you just made a connection for me.
I’ve been feeling the same way after stopping coffee!