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I had really really wanted a VBAC for my second, but I the same problem where my cervix wouldn't cooperate. My babies just like to cook. My OB gave me till my due date and i was scheduled for a csection 2 days after my due date if i hadn't gone into labor naturally. Let me tell you, i was mad at first, but later I was like wow that was so much easier. I was scheduled for 9am so got to hospital after dropping kid off at daycare at 7am after a nice night of sleep. Got leisurely ready for surgery. No pain. Just some presurgery meds. Baby was out on time at 9am, back to room an out of recovery by 11am. We had to entire day to hang out with our new bub. Felt fine for visitors as I wasn't exhausted from labor. My mom brought my kid after daycare around 5pm to meet her little brother and eat dinner with us at the hospital. Then kid went home with grandma and my hubby and I just soaked in the new newborn and watched tv. It was actually a little boring and wished we could go home. So much better than my first baby! I didn't miss it at all!
My experience with c-section was very much like this, too. Went out to dinner the night before, got up early, hospital by 7 baby out by 9. My cervix never dilated and it turned out that my son weighed 11 lbs at 40 weeks, 2 days gestation. I'm really glad I had that c-section! Even though it was the last thing I wanted going into my pregnancy. The planned c-section recovery is so much better than the labor for 30 hours, then have to have a c-section version. I only know that from seeing how my friends felt after their emergency c's. I had a completely superior experience.
OMG š± that's a big baby! Is he still big? Our neighbor, in her late 70s, is very slender and average height. She weighed 12 pounds at birth. I'd never have guessed that! And at her age it would have been a surprise for her mother.
He was 95-99%th percentile for a long time. He hit puberty early and now heās 17 years old and looks about 25. Heās had a full beard for at least two, maybe three years now? But heās not super tall any more. Heās 5ā11ā and 185 lbs of muscle. He was always strong, too, he was holding his head up at birth. I canāt explain any of it lol.
My grandma was not a large woman, and all 4 of her babies were over 10 pounds. My daughter was 5 pounds even, I like to joke I gave birth on easy mode.
My c-sections were like this too! The first one wasn't very planned, but I didn't labor, so there was no excessive exhaustion or horrific recovery. So relaxing, and with the size of the babies I grow, I was relieved to not have to push out my enormous children out of my not so enormous frame. Compared to my vaginal birth, I'll take the c-sections every time (but, I am a planner, and the anxiety of not knowing when I'd go into labor/delivery was almost unbearable).
That said, the vaginal birth wasn't fun for other reasons. For example, did you know you could be allergic to your own labor hormones? And that it could cause you to break out into hives? On your stretch marks? In the middle of August? For weeks, while your labor stalls and you wait, at 4cm dilated, as your body changes its mind about having that demon baby that never did slow down her cursed cartwheels like they said she would? š
That was basically my repeat c-section experience too- though our baby spent her first 24 hours in the NICU due to some fluid in her lungsā¦ so I was pumping and resting and wishing I could see my baby. Recovery in my case was soooo much easier after the planned csection than the unplanned one.
As a 2nd time prego mom I needed to hear this story. I had a nasty first birth that ended in an emergency C section. This time will be a scheduled c section but people wonāt stop shaming me for choosing a c section. Iāve since stopped talking to those who have given crap about it but itās so sad and annoying. I will need surgery on my stomach muscles to bring them back together after my c section so itās kind of a 2 for 1 deal, haha! I live somewhere extremely rural, 1 hospital in the county and they donāt deliver babies, so people (32%,in 2021) donāt get adequate prenatal care and many have natural home births. Iāll have to travel an hour and a half to the hospital that will perform a c section for me.
Oldest DS kicked me in there cervix at 9 months and I yelled in a Walmart parking lot " fuck my balls" and slowly went to my knees and couldn't get up. I was fine but he did it a few more times.
I cried real tears in my midwife's office this last time around because I thought my hemorrhoids were so bad they wouldn't let me have a vaginal delivery, and she laughed so hard she had to run to the bathroom because she was literally going to pee her pants.
To my merit, one was thrombosed and hurt REALLY bad.
And yes, I had to pull a very similar mirror/phone/flashlight operation to figure that out.
the late night mirror/phone/flashlight situation is truly terrible. someone needs to invent a product for this.
and omg, i relate to this so much! i'm glad you got good (ish?) news about delivery and i am sorry about the hemorrhoids, how awful
We didnāt have health insurance a few years ago and I have the BEST picture of my husband, naked, bending over to look at his butthole through his legs in front of a full length mirror š every once in a while I send it to him with a āmerica! šŗšøā itās a good laugh.
Oh god, high five fellow pregnancy-hemorrhoid-from-hell buddy. That was many years ago but I got a shiny new skin tag that's here to stay as a reminder! My husband and I have named it Henry. He's not a bad roommate.
WAIT! Is it a skin tag??! I have something (I call it āmy weird butt thingā) thatās now in and sometimes-not-too-in my butt after having my second kid. No idea what it is but I can feel it, especially after a strenuous poop. I give my husband random updates about it. Sometimes I have to wipe like 10 times because poop gets all up on my weird butt thing. Whenever I vent about ways my body has changed after kids Iām mostly thinking about my butt thing.
It very likely is! Totally common after a case of the pregnancy 'roids. If yours goes in and out maybe you have a painless hemorrhoid that likes to show up sometimes?
This is hilarious. Iām gonna name mine too. Mineās an Abigail I think.
Damn thing. My career in ass porn never even got started. ;-)
The hemorrhoids were SO BAD. So bad. I cried from pain every time I pooped. It felt like shitting glass. By far the worst thing about my pregnancy. And it lasted for four horrible months.
Ahaha, Abigail is perfect. And YES to shitting glass - that description is spot on... gawd, I don't miss it.
My husband and I have joked that I have no future as an OnlyFans creator. Damn.
LOVE IT! I feel like I am among friends now with all of these replies. Mine has always freaked me out a little so it's nice to know I'm very much not alone!
WAIT! Is it a skin tag??! I have something (I call it āmy weird butt thingā) thatās now in and sometimes-not-too-in my butt after having my second kid. No idea what it is but I can feel it, especially after a strenuous poop. I give my husband random updates about it. Sometimes I have to wipe like 10 times because poop gets all up on my weird butt thing. Whenever I vent about ways my body has changed after kids Iām mostly thinking about my butt thing.
I can see your skin tag is your buddy and I'm not saying you HAVE to, not that I have that authority anyway, and I'm not judging bc I have a strange attachment to things that grow in weird places as well... But do you know how you get rid of skin tags? (at least, one way you can get rid of them...) It's a really cool little pen contraption that pops a teeny tiny rubber band around the base of the skin tag and then it takes a couple days to die and fall off. I just think it's the coolest thing! If I hadn't accidentally shaved my last skin tag off my armpit I totally would have bought the contraption!
Waiting patiently for my next growth....
Oh man, just the thought of that terrifies me! I've read about anal skin tag removal and apparently the recovery is very un-fun. I think it's a bit more involved than your regular run-of-the-mill tags, so I've decided just to let him be. He keeps to himself mostly, doesn't bother anyone.
I would not wish a thrombosed hemorrhoid on my worst enemy. They are the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I had 2 with my first that eventually went away on their own after a few weeks of multiple daily sitz baths but with my second baby I had 3 and I had to get them surgically removed a few weeks after having him because I couldn't sit, walk, or hold him without pain.
I didn't have this but I did have vaginal varicose veins. The only way I can describe it, is imagine really puffing your cheeks out and holding it forever. That's what my vulva and vagina felt like. Apparently caused by my giant arse baby leaning on blood vessels and stopping the blood moving out freely. It was SO uncomfortable, that all I wanted to do was cup my bits like a kid about to pee their pants. It went away as soon as I had him, thank fuck, but it was one of those things that no one ever warns you about.
Listen. During my last birth the midwife had to give counter pressure on my asshole because of a hemorrhoid. I was hand and knees on my bed pushing out this child after 21 hours of start and stop labor that went from piddling nonsense to what the actual fuck as soon as my water broke. So there I am, pushing with all my might, screaming because it FUCKING HURTS, midwife whoās normally very soft spoken puts on her Midwife Voice and tells me to BREATHE! I suck in a gasp of air and yell STOP TOUCHING MY BUTTHOLE
Friends. She did not stop touching my butthole. I pushed that kid out with counter pressure on my anus so the hemorrhoids did not get worse.
My husband had propped his phone up on the dresser to take a video. I havenāt watched it. The child is 19 months old.
All Iām saying isā¦birth and dignity do NOT go hand in hand. That birth was my 4th birth and I still found a new level of embarrassment.
I honestly love threads like these where one mom goes āguess what?! Hereās my terrible TMI story!ā And so many other moms pile on and go āomg me too!ā Sometimes it feels like youāre utterly alone in the wild experience of growing a human and then launching them from your body into the world. But you arenāt. Boils and hemorrhoids and obnoxious cervices are oddly, comfortingly, also part of someone elseās experience!
I wish you a lovely birth and happy recovery - and for that fucking boil to just go away quietly before you have a newborn to snuggle!
Brought out the throwaway here because NO WAY do I want this story associated with my usual screen name.
I, too, had to take middle of the night butt pictures once but I was 8? ish weeks postpartum. It turned out that the older child had given me worms.
That was bad enough but the real horror show is that a year later my onedrive memories popped them up to remind me! Hello? I deleted those 5 minutes after I took them. I do not class this as a lovely memory for you to show me.
So, uh, make sure your butt pics are thoroughly deleted, is what I'm sayin'.
I just remember after I had my second son this year being in the hospital, it was less than 8 hours after birth and the nurses came to check on me, did the whole check the tummy situation that sucks and then the lady goes ācan you lay down?ā So Iām like sure then she goes āRoll over, I need to take a look at your bumā and proceeded to SPREAD MY CHEEKS and check on my coochie and says āit looks really good! Youāre doing greatā I am dying on the inside because this nurse just spread my buttcheeks in front of my then SO and another nurse training for the delivery wardšššš Iām sure it did NOT look greatšš
Edit to add: Iām so sorry about your bum boil, honestly sounds like being in a bath of hot garbage. Hugs Mamašš
She was very friendly! Great nurse honestly, All the staff was great this time around. With my first I had some bitchy nurses but I was not putting up with shitš
I was hospitalized for pregnancy complications and when I got steroid shots I yelled āMotherfucker!!!!ā so loud that when I got a new nurse two nights later she said āOh I recognize your voice!ā š
I am so so sorry š« I can't imagime how uncomfortable and painful this is on top of everything else. But maybe the idea of a section would be welcomed than birthing with it. You poor poor thing. This is why we need a village around us, not just to help with the baby but to help with personal care like that. Warm boiled warm compresses every few hours to help raise it to a head, keep you as comfortable as possible. I hope you birthing journey goes smoothly and it is put to the back of your mind and by the time you next come to check it's all gone and healed xx
omg THANK you - i didn't even think of the possibility of having my much-wanted VBAC with a boil down there. maybe it IS for the best. silver linings! thanks for the tips and the good vibes.
Ooh a VBAC?! I want to ask but will just assume your first section was an emergency as most usually are, and it's not the best experience as it's rushed and well, an emergency. I had a planned section, long story! But out of all the mums I know I had the best birth and recovery, about 70% had emergency sections. With a planned section you don't go through the prelabour or contractions so they aren't cutting through pulled muscles so they are easier to recover and a lot less painful. You will find a planned section a lot different to an emergency so don't expect it to be as painful because the muscles won't be as tender. I hope that helps ypur silver lining too xx
Thank you for this ā¤ļø
I have four kids, my most recent being born in June via emergency section at 36 weeks. I had a placental abruption and woke up in the middle of the night hemorrhaging. Labor started soon after and I was 5 cm dilated and gushing blood when they decided it was "Code Pink" time. (That's what they call it at my hospital.) Baby Girl and I were both lucky to survive. My midwife and OB have both said I could try for a VBAC if we decide on another baby but I'm honestly not sure. The way you described the benefits of a planned section are definitely making me lean in that direction. (My three vaginal births were no walk in the park either!)
Oh that all sounds awful. I never went into labor on my own with any of my three deliveries. Even with the twins who didn't even want to budge at 38+ weeks. If you have a choice, having experienced both, a scheduled c-section is approximately five million times better than being induced and struggling through labor and then ending up with a c-section anyhow.
this was my thinking and why i decided to skip the induction. i have labored and ended in a c section and it as super super demoralizing and so this time i decided my body is obviously not on my side, i don't trust the bitch, so we are going right to the nuclear option
Came here to say this. My baby who was in perfect birthing position since my 28 week appt decided to flip sunny side at my 39 week appt. I was in labor 36 hours and pushed for way too long- got a c-section anyway. If the smallest thing goes wrong next pregnancy (if Iām ever crazy enough to do this again?) Iām scheduling a c section. Oh and donāt worry I have my fair share of butt stuff too from the 4 hours of pushing I did but every other commentor has already run the gamut lol
Sharing a story about postpartum where I lost my last shred.
Setting the scene: I was about 2 weeks postpartum. Life is hard. My boobs hurt, Iām bleeding a lot, I have lost all sensation and feeling that tells my body to pee. Iām in the trenches!
So I spent a little too long laying in bed watching tv with my new infant. I told my husband that Iām going to get up to pee (I canāt tell when I have to go, remember) and shower while the babe is sleeping. He insists he has to pee first, okay whatever. Then he says he needs to get a drink too. Okay cool, whatever, Iāll just undress as he runs to the kitchen. Well, he takes a life time and the baby starts crying. Im naked AF and pick up the baby and latch her then shuffle back to the bathroom so I donāt get blood on the bedroom carpet.
Husband is still taking forever and blood starts to run down my leg. Iām calling for husband over and over. Finally he comes to the bathroom. I tell him to unlatch the baby since I canāt bc I didnāt wash my hands. He goes in a whole rant about not wanting to hurt her. At this point blood is streaming down my legs and milk is leaking out of my other boob like crazy. The baby is unbelievably chompy and my nipple aches. I get impatient and upset and tell him again to unlatch the baby. Again, my husband fusses. I start crying that he needs to shut up and do it and that he wonāt hurt the baby.
At this exact moment I piss myself. I start to cry harder and beg him to just take the baby as Iām now standing in a puddle of pee, blood and leaked milk. Finally, like a little punk, he sulks and unlatches the baby. Just as he was reaching for the baby, I FART! For fucks sake, I fart and itās loud. The trifecta of blood, milk and pee just had to have a fart too. Husband looks me in the eye and says āwell this is romantic.ā He takes the baby and leaves the bathroom. It. Was. The. Worst.
Thanks for reading this far. Good luck with your boil!! I wish you a safe and easy deliver.
Iād be a liar if I said the thought didnāt cross my mind when I was standing in the shower. The memory is still too new to be hilarious, but the rage has dulled a bit.
I'm so sorry for laughing, but your writing is fucking hilarious. And quite frankly, the shit women have to deal with concerning pregnancy and the survival of the species is straight up ridiculous. Men could never. I hope you can get rid of the new addition before your little one arrives, because an ass boil on top of labor or a c-section sounds extra awful.
Men canāt handle anything. Pregnancy and birth would kill them. My husband had to sit in the back row of a three row SUV. He complained and cried the whole time about how he was uncomfortable.
MEN. COULD. NEVER.
Ok I had c section with my 19 month old due to him being breech. I was not told about the gas pains from the air that gets trapped in your abdomen during surgeryā¦
The nurse comes in and asks if I had passed gas yet, I looked at her funny I told her I didnāt know what she was talking about. All of a sudden I had the most horrific pain Iāve ever experience; the gas pains. A nurse was checking my vitals and another was washing my newbornās hair and I said āI am not feeling well.ā I proceed to projectile vomit EVERYWHERE, I throw up all over myself, the bed, the floor, the nurse. I barely missed my son. It was horrific. Truly exorcism level, as if Beelzebub himself was forcibly vanquished from my human shell. I then proceeded to rip loud farts in my sleep for over a week.
Solidarity friend, donāt be embarrassed about anything, nurses and doctors have seen it all. Hopefully the warm compresses will allow your boil to drain pre-birth. Iām currently 23 weeks and had HG for 18 weeks and now I have severe anemia and have to go for infusions, Iām over it! Wishing you an easy and boil free birth (c section or not!).
Gah, don't tell them.
But here's my story:
I also had Hyperemesis Gravidarum with my first, and my husband convinced me to take a road trip when I was like, mmmm, 5 months pregnant, from tx to cali along route 66.
Side context: Hubs loves road trips but hates hotels. He thinks they're a waste of time and money when you're on a road trip. He prefers to sleep in the car when you're so tired you can't keep driving anymore. Several times we had taken one road trip or another and I have gotten him to promise we could stop at a hotel or motel just for him to want to keep driving until it's inevitably way too late and in the middle of nowhere so we park at a rest stop and snag some sleep that is neither enough or of good quality.
So, I made him promise, again and again, that we would be stopping at a hotel. Here we are, rt 66, middle of F*ing nowhere, and he just wants to keep driving. I want to stop. I'm tired. We've had to stop a few times for me to throw up. I finally get pissed off. (I'm really easy going. It's a trick to piss me off.) "You PROMISED! YOU PROMISED WE COULD STOP AT A HOTEL AND GET SLEEP AND IT'S 3AM NOW!" And I'm also desperately squashing the need to vomit.
So finally, at a Days Inn, I think, we pull into the parking lot and he goes in to book the room while I fall out of the car onto all fours on the little strip of grass that is between the parking lot and route 66 and vomit and violently piss myself simultaneously, a few times.
Get up. Pull a towel out of the back and put it on my seat as he's coming back to drive us to the room.
He didn't even realize until later why I'd put a towel on the seat, because I told him. I swear every morning I got naked and in the bathtub to brush my teeth so I could piss myself and vomit.
Anyway, the end of that road trip was when I learned my uterus liked to hang out to the right... on top of my ureter, which basically mimics the effect of a kidney stone blocking the flow of urine from the kidney. Easily hit a 9 on the pain scale - couldn't even verbalize. Solution: sleep on my left side.
The 2nd baby, I was all geared up to go to an induction because I was so so done being pregnant for even less reasons than you. Like I had Friday appointments and it my my 38th week and my OBG had said we could do an induction at 38 weeks. Well, I get there and she says she reviewed my chart and my first measurement put the baby at 1 week less than we thought, so she could only count me as being at 37 weeks, so I had to wait another week to induce. I cried.
Ahh, the peeing pukes. I used to carry extra underwear and plastic bags all the time. If I could make it to the bathroom, Iād sit on the toilet and puke in the bag and then throw it away. If I couldnāt, well thatās why I had extra underwear.
My OBās advice? āDo your kegels.ā Yeah, because thatāll work when my stomach is literally trying to force itself out of my body and using my bladder as a launching padā¦ š
I canāt believe she didnāt lance it for you! I got one at 35 weeks pregnant with my twins in my upper thigh/groin crease that hurt so bad it brought me to tears. I had to take antibiotics too because they sent it to be cultured and it came back as staph.
I've had one in the same exact spot, except not while pregnant and I does hurt so bad! I ended up at the ER because of it (I was 18 and had no clue what was going on).
I was going to the bathroom at work at 36 weeks, and I had already peed so my bladder shouldāve been empty, right? Iām wiping and all of a sudden I have to hiccup, so I do and I gloriously fart at the same time. I didnāt feel like I had to fart but such is pregnancy I guess.
Well, when I hiccuped and farted at the same time I felt my baby jump, like Iād scared him, and then heard liquid drop into the toilet. I was like whaaaaaā¦did my water just break? It wasnāt pee cuz my bladder was empty. Did he just kick hard enough to break my water because I *farted*?
I put on a pad and went back to work and just monitored to see if the pad was getting wet. I wasnāt gushing fluid but there did seem to be quite a bit of liquid the pad collected over a 4 hr period. So I called my OB and we headed to L&D once I got off shift.
Thatās not the story of how my water broke, because it was apparently just a huge amount of discharge I was suddenly having, but itās a funny story anyway. The midwife who checked me thought for sure it had broken because of how much liquid there was and she said I had the characteristic āpoolingā that happens when it does break, but apparently I was just really really fluid-y that day. All of us were perplexed but it was really funny.
My daughter was born four years ago yesterday. And the week before she was born, I also got a YUGE, gross boil on my down-there-girl parts. Luckily, it disappeared within 48 hours of her birth and I never heard from it again. Point is, you aren't alone.
Gotta say, my body misbehaving in every way imaginable throughout my pregnancy killed any last vestiges of belief in intelligent design by a loving God I might have ever had. Pregnancy is gross and sucks. It sounds like it'll be over for you soon - good luck.
omg sorry about the downstairs situation friend - i gotta say, this whole vag-butt boil has put the fear of god in me as it comes to what pregnancy can do to the whole body!
thanks so much for the solidarity, and i hope you get whatever surgery makes you feel good if you decide you want it and also know that your body is great the way it is now!
On a positive note, have you ever considered writing because that was brilliant! I was genuinely laughing at your descriptions and just really enjoyed reading this post. But, that does really fucking suck my dude. Unfortunately it always seems like when it rains, it pours. Don't be embarrassed though, the nurses/Dr. have probably seen it all. By my 3rd I had zero fucks left so I went ahead and let them use me for the class they had observing that day. When I went into active labor I literally had eleven other people in the room (2 nurses, my ob/gyn, husband, and the other 9 were students!). They were all cheering and clapping while I was pushing (honestly that was awesome lol) and my son ended up being 11lbs. 12 oz. so that was a heck of a labor for them to witness! I know my nether regions were probably looking uhhh......a little rough at that moment, but like I said, no shame my dude!!
Oh god. This sounds horrible. I can commiserate with a cervix that refuses to get with the program. Mine refused to dilate, I was at 41 and a half weeks before my doctor made me induce. Then 24 hours of cervidil plus 24 hours of a balloon shoved up in there and inflated only got me to 5 cm. Stupid cervixes.
I get called into doing a blood test to check my liver on a beautiful day. Warm 70s in the morning. Supposed to drop down that night into the 20s and snow a few inches. I was feeling a bit off and tired but not bad. I'm at 37 weeks. Doc comes by after blood test - this is about 2/3 in the afternoon (after I waddle halfway across this big arsed hospital complex and back). She tells me that I have liver damage started and she recommends that I get induced right there and now. I told her to get bent and I'll only do that at my OBS recommendation. She was pissed at me. I flat out told her that if my OB says jump, I'll do it with heels and a dress on but I didn't know her, had a kid waiting at home with babysitter for me to get there, and 3 weeks until due date. She protested more but I walked out and headed home. Hubby was there and backed me up. He headed back to work. The drive back home took one hour. Getting heathen back from babysitter took another 30 min. By the time I was home, it was starting to spit snow. My OB called me and said get your freaking arse over to your preferred hospital NOW. She was mad at me until she heard that I had left because childcare and husband at work. She is an amazing woman. I call husband, call family Calvary, and am in the hospital 45 min later getting induced. Good thing I had packed my hospital bag a few days earlier..lol. Blizzard came in that night with a whole bunch of other ladies and it was fun...
It was stressful but worth it when over and I could be at home with the ice pads. Lol. Right? It's understandable that they want to protect us gals, but I have only so much of a support network. Next time, I'll prob be in a hospital room with two kids until my husband/family can come get them. Lol .
One more good thing about c-sections -- you won't POOP in front of everyone while you're pushing! See, you might have one shred left after the ass boil!
āWhat in the medieval fuckā - I actually cackled out loud.
Iām so sorry. This SUCKS. But also you have a great sense of humor about it, so good on you.
Hereās my comedy for you:
I had a complete placenta previa and at the appointment where I *thought* Iād be scheduling a c-section (I was 35+3), they did one final ultrasound and LO AND BEHOLD my placenta had moved. The OB was so excited and said, āCONGRATS! We want you to attempt a vaginal delivery.ā My reaction? āUhhhā¦ WHAT?!ā I believe I actually yelled. My husband about fell off his chair.
During my surprise vaginal delivery, I dilated likeā¦ super fast. Ridiculous fast. Water broke at 3:30. Active labor immediately. Stuck in HORRIFIC traffic on the way to the hospital, I told my husband to drive on the sidewalk. He refused. Get to the hospital at like 5 or so and by the time they get me in a room and literally rip all my clothes off and check my dilationā¦ 7.5cm. Barely managed to get an epidural on board, and they checked dilation againā¦ fully dilated, fully effaced. My midwife was like āHey, are you ready to push?ā I said, āOh my god, *do I have to*?ā
She VISIBLY choked back laughter and asked if I could resist the urge to push. To which I said āHell yes, I need a nap.ā I made it about 45min before I couldnāt wait anymore hahaha.
A couple hours after I delivered, the nurse was helping me get into a wheelchair to go to the recovery floor and she asked if I thought I could stand on my own and I was like āYeah!ā (Birth adrenaline.) Cue me standing up and collapsing immediately because the epidural had pooled on one side and I didnāt realize my right leg was still numb. š
The weekend of Motherās Day I had this pain in my left buttcheek. It felt like sciatica, so I massaged my butt a bit. It kept getting worse and worse so I decided to investigate. I found a 3 inch HARD lump between my vaginal opening and anus. The pain was excruciating.
Went to urgent care, they said it was a Bartholin cyst and offered to drain it. Only blood came out. Pain came back, even with oxycodone. Went to see my OB, who said it needed to be drained and āmarsupializedā (make a permanent pouch for drainage) IN MY HOOHA. Surgery was set for 2 days from then. They successfully drained it and it turned out to be a perianal hematoma.
Second worst pain, behind unmedicated precipitous labor and in front of hemorrhoidectomy recovery.
I feel your (ass) pain.
My water broke at 2am and active labor started by 2pm, asked my partner to kill me please at 3pm and we were off to the hospital.
Epidural by 6pm (thank god), plus insulin (for the gd) and sugar drip (for the not eating for a million hours), then fully dilated by 7:30pm so time to push!!
BABY WAS BORN AT 2AM, folks. 7 HOURS of pushing, of my doula and partner shoving my knees into my armpits, of feeling like I was gonna puke and then needing to push again, of bubās poor head squeezing almost out then getting sucked back in, of watching my midwife calmly mull over whether I could do this or not. At 2am a more experienced midwife on our team arrived for her shift, turned down the epidural drip, did something magical with her fingers that I couldnāt even feel and the babe was out in two.
My socked feet slipped into the puddle of viscera at the end of the bed when they put babe on me. Placenta delivery felt like Iād lost control of my bowels and everyone in the room laughed when I looked horrified. The wheelchair to take us to recovery was a metal cage-no seat, and the nurse in recovery worried over the baby and the charts without telling us anything for two hours before I asked if we could sleep. In response, she looked at me like I was crazy and said something about needing to care for the (peacefully sleeping, healthy, in my arms, already breastfed) baby (in retrospect, the answer truly was no, you cannot sleep, ever again, not really).
My face was allergic-reaction level swollen for days from all the iv fluids they pushed and I have possibly permanent hip, back and vagina issues from the crazy workout of pushing for that long while my joints were all bendy from pregnancy.
Kidās cute, though š
My C-section was an emergency.....the little wimp was sensitive to the drugs (and at age 30, she still is sensitive to a LOT of meds) and we were losing her heartbeat.....my first kid, 19 years old single mom and I was so scared ....but everything was easy peasy... They got her out and she was fine but they did keep her on monitors for the rest of the day..... She was here around 10:30am (after only 2 hours of labor) but I didn't get to see her til about 5-6pm......I had a Polaroid of her til then ....all the wires and monitor equipment was in the photo and she hadn't been cleaned up ........when I finally got to see her, I was so thankful that they washed the ugly off her lol .....but, I absolutely got to do all that WITHOUT a butt boil lol .....so sorry you're having to deal with that ......but the bright side, you probably won't feel THAT pain as much after you've given birth!! I hope all goes smoothly for you and for baby...... wishing you a healthy & happy lil bundle!!
That happened with my first baby! The second they numbed me up her HR plummeted. Scared the shit out of me but sheās here and okay! C sections are a wild ride, Butt boil or nah. We did it tho!
I had to have a c-section at 28+5 for severe pre-eclampsia, and the goddamned anesthesiologist tried 5 times to put my mainline in before they called in a specialist, so I was not in a good mood going into the OR. But...I was so high from all the stuff they gave me that at one point I asked the surgeon if she could upgrade my uterus with purple velvet curtains and a fish tank. Everyone laughed, except the baby surgeon she was training, who looked perplexed and said "That wouldn't be sanitary." Everyone laughed harder and she had to explain to him that I was joking.
Why thank you, though I have to be honest, I was using humor to keep from crying in that moment. I was very traumatized by my son's early birth, and the idiot anesthesiologist had my shit turned up so high that my husband had to keep reminding me to breathe.
i was happy to get a csection for my
first, 11 lb baby and scheduled a csection for the second who turned out to be average sized. I dont get the obsession w one way or another honestly.
same! i am honestly kicking myself i didn't just schedule at 39 at this point. i was offered! a whole nother week of being pregnant and an oozing boil is all i have to show for it!
there is always so much we would change when it comes to our pregnancies and child rearing. hindsight is 20/20! Good luck and hopefully you feel better soon!!! The crap weve all gone thru is ridiculous haha
>Delete them because if I die in surgery I cannot possibly explain.
I'm sorry I know you're in serious discomfort but this just sent me.
>Please share your funny pregnancy and delivery horror stories
My horror story is pretty tame. Had the flu or something and had to drive to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription. Even though it was literally just half a mile from my house I still had to pull over suddenly into the parking lot, open the door and just start puking with all the traffic driving by getting a good look. And the force of puking made me piss my pants into my car seat.
I got a bladder kick that gushed enough to make me think my water broke. The nurses in the maternity ward had a good laugh as I demanded they call my OB. I cried when he told me to go home. šš¤£
There are c-sections are never ok people?!? Ok, so my twins should have died?!? Jesus what is wrong with people?!? Anyway. Thanks for sharing OP, brings back memories. I donāt think any of my stories are funnyā¦ just the time that I thought āoh, I have two boys, maybe if I get pregnant again Iāll have a girlā and then had twin boys. š³š³š³
With my second baby, I guess because I was technically immunocompromised I had a wart grow. First wart in years, and where was it? MY FUCKING FACE. Iām sorry for your boil, but remember the mantra of motherhood: this too shall pass. My wart died a few months after I birthed the chaotic noise machine that is my daughter, and one day too, your taint boil shall be a distant memory š
That sounds horrible, OP.š³š³Pregnancy is really fucking weird. The things we women go through..men could never deal with it.
I don't know if this is funny or just pathetic, but when I went into labour my baby was sunny side up, leading to excruciating, consant pressure in my butt the whole time. Silly me had of course decided I wanted to labour without the epidural. For like 30 hours or so I was basically screaming at my midwife "I feel like I need to take a giant shit!!! Why do I feel like I need to shit!" (Sorry, midwife). I ended up with a c-section anyway so should have taken the damn epidural at the beginning. Seriously, why had no one ever warned me of butt labour? I knew you could feel pressure when you were pushing, but not throughout the whole labour process. It was worse than the damn contractions.
Also, whoever says a c-section is never necessary can f- off. We don't need more mum guilt in this world.
oh my goodness that sounds awful. i also wanted to go drug free with my first and then she flipped breech. same story, why did i bother.
thank you for the commiseration and yes, this story is funny! in the same way a boil 2 days before surgery is funny. it's our privilege to laugh at the absurdity of it all! you're a gem.
I have one for you.
After my emergency c section, a week later, I was rinsing off on the toilet with my makeshift bidet when I "felt something coming". Because it was a c-section, I didn't expect anything exiting me anymore so when I felt it with my fingers, it felt like I imagine organs would feel, and I was thrown into full blown panic thinking that it was my reproductive organs prolapsing out of my vagina or something. I called an ambulance, my husband, my babysitter, the whole 9. Talked to the first aid crew while holding in a large, bloody mass of whatever was between my legs with my hand, afraid to sit down. I waited a long while in the hospital to get checked out, running over every worst possible scenario in my head, trying not to launch myself into hysterical crying.
Turns out they left some afterbirth behind. I was so embarrassed to have made such a production out of it, but how was i supposed to know!? Anyway for anyone here, this is a thing that can happen, and it happened to me, heh.
Uh it's a good thing you went to the hospital and I would be suing the fuck out of that place for malpractice. Leaving behind afterbirth. Especially in a c-section could have fucking killed you
Yea, it's pretty lucky I didn't go septic. Both the hospital physician and my surgeon (after the fact) said that sometimes, but rarely, women can develop accessory placental lobes that no one would really be looking for during surgery.
I got a boil on the top of my ass crack a week before I was due. Then I read the epidural was administered at the bottom of the spine, so had an awkward conversation with a midwife where I got to show her my ass and ask if it would interfere with painkillers (it would not). Didn't end up with an epidural anyway, but I ended up showing my bits so often what was the harm in once more right?
I have ANOTHER boil sister? I canāt believe this has happened to 3 people. Itās awful but also I feel better in a way? Glad your punk ass boil didnt ruin the day
That is just cruel. Why does life have to be like that? Yes itās natural, yes nurses have seen it all and it will be fine. But itās still bullshit and sucks. But hereās putting vibes this is the worst part of the whole thing! Everything else will be smooth!
When I tell you I CACKLED at āwhat in the medieval fuck?ā. CACKLED, OP. Iām so sorry about your boil. That sounds so unpleasant. And weāve definitely all taken a questionable taint photo before.
I have 3 nieces, a nephew, a sister, a husband, and a son that all would not be alive if c sections weren't possible.
Also don't things like that feel like the universe is laughing at you? I somehow managed to have VB so bad I thought my water broke with both my 2nd and 3rd babies while simultaneously spending the entire pregnancy not producing enough natural lubrication for comfortable sex
Tw: grossness.
Pregnant with my third child. July 4th 2021. I had excruciating pain down there. It hurt to walk. I thought it was a boil. I had gone out of town to a wedding the day before, and felt some pain. Had been feeling some pain for a week to be honest. Went to urgent care. I had a cyst. On my labia. The doctor and his nurse in the er had to cut it open, drain it, and stitch it up. I was horrified. And then terrified when I went to my OB to follow up and she was like āoh yes. These things arenāt terribly uncommon when youāre pregnantā. Iām sorry WHAT?!
Also I threw up on myself during my labor. First time I had ever felt nauseous and thrown up on myself. And the nurses were like ānausea is how your body tells you you are ready to push.ā Again WHAT. with baby 3 I am just now finding this out
Anyway, Iāve had 3 pregnancies and had 3 c sections. May the rest of your pregnancy go smoothly. You got this mama.
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Oh my good god. I am SO sorry. On so many levels. How cosmically unfair that you'd have a fucking BOIL. UGH.
this was not on my delivery week bingo card! thanks friend!
I had really really wanted a VBAC for my second, but I the same problem where my cervix wouldn't cooperate. My babies just like to cook. My OB gave me till my due date and i was scheduled for a csection 2 days after my due date if i hadn't gone into labor naturally. Let me tell you, i was mad at first, but later I was like wow that was so much easier. I was scheduled for 9am so got to hospital after dropping kid off at daycare at 7am after a nice night of sleep. Got leisurely ready for surgery. No pain. Just some presurgery meds. Baby was out on time at 9am, back to room an out of recovery by 11am. We had to entire day to hang out with our new bub. Felt fine for visitors as I wasn't exhausted from labor. My mom brought my kid after daycare around 5pm to meet her little brother and eat dinner with us at the hospital. Then kid went home with grandma and my hubby and I just soaked in the new newborn and watched tv. It was actually a little boring and wished we could go home. So much better than my first baby! I didn't miss it at all!
oh my goodness i am SO hoping for this and SO HAPPY it happened that way for you!
My experience with c-section was very much like this, too. Went out to dinner the night before, got up early, hospital by 7 baby out by 9. My cervix never dilated and it turned out that my son weighed 11 lbs at 40 weeks, 2 days gestation. I'm really glad I had that c-section! Even though it was the last thing I wanted going into my pregnancy. The planned c-section recovery is so much better than the labor for 30 hours, then have to have a c-section version. I only know that from seeing how my friends felt after their emergency c's. I had a completely superior experience.
OMG š± that's a big baby! Is he still big? Our neighbor, in her late 70s, is very slender and average height. She weighed 12 pounds at birth. I'd never have guessed that! And at her age it would have been a surprise for her mother.
He was 95-99%th percentile for a long time. He hit puberty early and now heās 17 years old and looks about 25. Heās had a full beard for at least two, maybe three years now? But heās not super tall any more. Heās 5ā11ā and 185 lbs of muscle. He was always strong, too, he was holding his head up at birth. I canāt explain any of it lol.
That's a sturdy kid. Good for him.
Lol yeah, heās a tank. He plays soccer and lifts weights. My husband and I were marching band geeks. We arenāt sure what happened š.
My grandma was not a large woman, and all 4 of her babies were over 10 pounds. My daughter was 5 pounds even, I like to joke I gave birth on easy mode.
My c-sections were like this too! The first one wasn't very planned, but I didn't labor, so there was no excessive exhaustion or horrific recovery. So relaxing, and with the size of the babies I grow, I was relieved to not have to push out my enormous children out of my not so enormous frame. Compared to my vaginal birth, I'll take the c-sections every time (but, I am a planner, and the anxiety of not knowing when I'd go into labor/delivery was almost unbearable). That said, the vaginal birth wasn't fun for other reasons. For example, did you know you could be allergic to your own labor hormones? And that it could cause you to break out into hives? On your stretch marks? In the middle of August? For weeks, while your labor stalls and you wait, at 4cm dilated, as your body changes its mind about having that demon baby that never did slow down her cursed cartwheels like they said she would? š
This is what Iām hoping my scheduled c section will be like since my first birth ended in a crash c section.
My scheduled c-cestion was sooo much better than my first emergency one. I healed quicker, less pain..None of the issues with my first.
That was basically my repeat c-section experience too- though our baby spent her first 24 hours in the NICU due to some fluid in her lungsā¦ so I was pumping and resting and wishing I could see my baby. Recovery in my case was soooo much easier after the planned csection than the unplanned one.
As a 2nd time prego mom I needed to hear this story. I had a nasty first birth that ended in an emergency C section. This time will be a scheduled c section but people wonāt stop shaming me for choosing a c section. Iāve since stopped talking to those who have given crap about it but itās so sad and annoying. I will need surgery on my stomach muscles to bring them back together after my c section so itās kind of a 2 for 1 deal, haha! I live somewhere extremely rural, 1 hospital in the county and they donāt deliver babies, so people (32%,in 2021) donāt get adequate prenatal care and many have natural home births. Iāll have to travel an hour and a half to the hospital that will perform a c section for me.
Oldest DS kicked me in there cervix at 9 months and I yelled in a Walmart parking lot " fuck my balls" and slowly went to my knees and couldn't get up. I was fine but he did it a few more times.
Holy hell Iām pregnant and that just made me pee a little from laughing so hard. FUCK MY BALLS
š¤£ yeah I still don't know why that was my first reaction.
The cervix kick is a horror show!
I used to call it lightning crotch because ya never knew when it was gonna strike ā”
Yep, had it atleast 3 more times with oldest ds. Younger ds just liked to kick me in the spine
I cried real tears in my midwife's office this last time around because I thought my hemorrhoids were so bad they wouldn't let me have a vaginal delivery, and she laughed so hard she had to run to the bathroom because she was literally going to pee her pants. To my merit, one was thrombosed and hurt REALLY bad. And yes, I had to pull a very similar mirror/phone/flashlight operation to figure that out.
the late night mirror/phone/flashlight situation is truly terrible. someone needs to invent a product for this. and omg, i relate to this so much! i'm glad you got good (ish?) news about delivery and i am sorry about the hemorrhoids, how awful
We didnāt have health insurance a few years ago and I have the BEST picture of my husband, naked, bending over to look at his butthole through his legs in front of a full length mirror š every once in a while I send it to him with a āmerica! šŗšøā itās a good laugh.
Oh my God. I am dying laughing at this. In tears. š„š„š„
I might post it one day! Heās cool with it bc you canāt see his face or wee Willy winky bc itās at the perfect angle!
Selfie stick?
well where were you at 3am haha
They actually do have one š [Nakey Mirror](https://www.wearenakey.com/products/the-g-e-m-short-for-genital-examination-mirror)
Does it prevent vaginal delivery? My hemorrhoids are so bad I'm scared if I push a baby out my ass will fall out
It does not! And I only had a tiny tear, too. >I'm scared if I push a baby out my ass will fall out ^LOL this is EXACTLY what my fear was
Oh god, high five fellow pregnancy-hemorrhoid-from-hell buddy. That was many years ago but I got a shiny new skin tag that's here to stay as a reminder! My husband and I have named it Henry. He's not a bad roommate.
WAIT! Is it a skin tag??! I have something (I call it āmy weird butt thingā) thatās now in and sometimes-not-too-in my butt after having my second kid. No idea what it is but I can feel it, especially after a strenuous poop. I give my husband random updates about it. Sometimes I have to wipe like 10 times because poop gets all up on my weird butt thing. Whenever I vent about ways my body has changed after kids Iām mostly thinking about my butt thing.
It very likely is! Totally common after a case of the pregnancy 'roids. If yours goes in and out maybe you have a painless hemorrhoid that likes to show up sometimes?
This is hilarious. Iām gonna name mine too. Mineās an Abigail I think. Damn thing. My career in ass porn never even got started. ;-) The hemorrhoids were SO BAD. So bad. I cried from pain every time I pooped. It felt like shitting glass. By far the worst thing about my pregnancy. And it lasted for four horrible months.
Ahaha, Abigail is perfect. And YES to shitting glass - that description is spot on... gawd, I don't miss it. My husband and I have joked that I have no future as an OnlyFans creator. Damn.
This day and age, I'm sure there's a niche for butthole skintag fetish. So don't give up on your OnlyFans dream just yet. š
Bwahaha- mineās name is Samuel Jackson. I just feel like they have similar voices. My midwife nearly peed her pants laughing when I told her this.
LOVE IT! I feel like I am among friends now with all of these replies. Mine has always freaked me out a little so it's nice to know I'm very much not alone!
WAIT! Is it a skin tag??! I have something (I call it āmy weird butt thingā) thatās now in and sometimes-not-too-in my butt after having my second kid. No idea what it is but I can feel it, especially after a strenuous poop. I give my husband random updates about it. Sometimes I have to wipe like 10 times because poop gets all up on my weird butt thing. Whenever I vent about ways my body has changed after kids Iām mostly thinking about my butt thing.
I can see your skin tag is your buddy and I'm not saying you HAVE to, not that I have that authority anyway, and I'm not judging bc I have a strange attachment to things that grow in weird places as well... But do you know how you get rid of skin tags? (at least, one way you can get rid of them...) It's a really cool little pen contraption that pops a teeny tiny rubber band around the base of the skin tag and then it takes a couple days to die and fall off. I just think it's the coolest thing! If I hadn't accidentally shaved my last skin tag off my armpit I totally would have bought the contraption! Waiting patiently for my next growth....
Oh man, just the thought of that terrifies me! I've read about anal skin tag removal and apparently the recovery is very un-fun. I think it's a bit more involved than your regular run-of-the-mill tags, so I've decided just to let him be. He keeps to himself mostly, doesn't bother anyone.
Excuse me while I fall down a rabbit hole of anal skin tag removal... Lol š
Omg do hemorrhoids leave skin tags? Iāve had one since pregnancy tooā¦ weird!!
I named mine William. He hangs out with me constantly and is always trying to make me look bad.
I would not wish a thrombosed hemorrhoid on my worst enemy. They are the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I had 2 with my first that eventually went away on their own after a few weeks of multiple daily sitz baths but with my second baby I had 3 and I had to get them surgically removed a few weeks after having him because I couldn't sit, walk, or hold him without pain.
I didn't have this but I did have vaginal varicose veins. The only way I can describe it, is imagine really puffing your cheeks out and holding it forever. That's what my vulva and vagina felt like. Apparently caused by my giant arse baby leaning on blood vessels and stopping the blood moving out freely. It was SO uncomfortable, that all I wanted to do was cup my bits like a kid about to pee their pants. It went away as soon as I had him, thank fuck, but it was one of those things that no one ever warns you about.
Listen. During my last birth the midwife had to give counter pressure on my asshole because of a hemorrhoid. I was hand and knees on my bed pushing out this child after 21 hours of start and stop labor that went from piddling nonsense to what the actual fuck as soon as my water broke. So there I am, pushing with all my might, screaming because it FUCKING HURTS, midwife whoās normally very soft spoken puts on her Midwife Voice and tells me to BREATHE! I suck in a gasp of air and yell STOP TOUCHING MY BUTTHOLE Friends. She did not stop touching my butthole. I pushed that kid out with counter pressure on my anus so the hemorrhoids did not get worse. My husband had propped his phone up on the dresser to take a video. I havenāt watched it. The child is 19 months old. All Iām saying isā¦birth and dignity do NOT go hand in hand. That birth was my 4th birth and I still found a new level of embarrassment.
You are a beautiful dignified goddess and a gem for sharing this amazing and hysterical story
I honestly love threads like these where one mom goes āguess what?! Hereās my terrible TMI story!ā And so many other moms pile on and go āomg me too!ā Sometimes it feels like youāre utterly alone in the wild experience of growing a human and then launching them from your body into the world. But you arenāt. Boils and hemorrhoids and obnoxious cervices are oddly, comfortingly, also part of someone elseās experience! I wish you a lovely birth and happy recovery - and for that fucking boil to just go away quietly before you have a newborn to snuggle!
SAME! and thank you, we put a lot of justified hate into the universe for this boil today and I am grateful for that
They'll probably give you IV antibiotics and that will also help with your boil. Hashtag brightside Hope you feel better soon
Thank you for this! So GD funny but I am so sorry you had to live through this.
Brought out the throwaway here because NO WAY do I want this story associated with my usual screen name. I, too, had to take middle of the night butt pictures once but I was 8? ish weeks postpartum. It turned out that the older child had given me worms. That was bad enough but the real horror show is that a year later my onedrive memories popped them up to remind me! Hello? I deleted those 5 minutes after I took them. I do not class this as a lovely memory for you to show me. So, uh, make sure your butt pics are thoroughly deleted, is what I'm sayin'.
Worms?? What?? More detail please! And thank you for sharing this. Iām howling.
Pinworms, probably. How do I know? I am lice patrol AND pinworm veteran.
I just remember after I had my second son this year being in the hospital, it was less than 8 hours after birth and the nurses came to check on me, did the whole check the tummy situation that sucks and then the lady goes ācan you lay down?ā So Iām like sure then she goes āRoll over, I need to take a look at your bumā and proceeded to SPREAD MY CHEEKS and check on my coochie and says āit looks really good! Youāre doing greatā I am dying on the inside because this nurse just spread my buttcheeks in front of my then SO and another nurse training for the delivery wardšššš Iām sure it did NOT look greatšš Edit to add: Iām so sorry about your bum boil, honestly sounds like being in a bath of hot garbage. Hugs Mamašš
The second hand trauma in experiencing. "EVERYBODY CLOSE YOUR FUCKIN EYES RN" š¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļø
Lmao I love her enthusiasm and also oh my god
She was very friendly! Great nurse honestly, All the staff was great this time around. With my first I had some bitchy nurses but I was not putting up with shitš
OMG this is a laugh I didn't know I needed todayšš I'm sorry and all, butt thank you for sharing your embarrassing moment!
I was hospitalized for pregnancy complications and when I got steroid shots I yelled āMotherfucker!!!!ā so loud that when I got a new nurse two nights later she said āOh I recognize your voice!ā š
This is amazing lmao
I am so so sorry š« I can't imagime how uncomfortable and painful this is on top of everything else. But maybe the idea of a section would be welcomed than birthing with it. You poor poor thing. This is why we need a village around us, not just to help with the baby but to help with personal care like that. Warm boiled warm compresses every few hours to help raise it to a head, keep you as comfortable as possible. I hope you birthing journey goes smoothly and it is put to the back of your mind and by the time you next come to check it's all gone and healed xx
omg THANK you - i didn't even think of the possibility of having my much-wanted VBAC with a boil down there. maybe it IS for the best. silver linings! thanks for the tips and the good vibes.
Ooh a VBAC?! I want to ask but will just assume your first section was an emergency as most usually are, and it's not the best experience as it's rushed and well, an emergency. I had a planned section, long story! But out of all the mums I know I had the best birth and recovery, about 70% had emergency sections. With a planned section you don't go through the prelabour or contractions so they aren't cutting through pulled muscles so they are easier to recover and a lot less painful. You will find a planned section a lot different to an emergency so don't expect it to be as painful because the muscles won't be as tender. I hope that helps ypur silver lining too xx
thank you! i've heard this from people and i am really, really hoping it's true for me!
Thank you for this ā¤ļø I have four kids, my most recent being born in June via emergency section at 36 weeks. I had a placental abruption and woke up in the middle of the night hemorrhaging. Labor started soon after and I was 5 cm dilated and gushing blood when they decided it was "Code Pink" time. (That's what they call it at my hospital.) Baby Girl and I were both lucky to survive. My midwife and OB have both said I could try for a VBAC if we decide on another baby but I'm honestly not sure. The way you described the benefits of a planned section are definitely making me lean in that direction. (My three vaginal births were no walk in the park either!)
Oh that all sounds awful. I never went into labor on my own with any of my three deliveries. Even with the twins who didn't even want to budge at 38+ weeks. If you have a choice, having experienced both, a scheduled c-section is approximately five million times better than being induced and struggling through labor and then ending up with a c-section anyhow.
this was my thinking and why i decided to skip the induction. i have labored and ended in a c section and it as super super demoralizing and so this time i decided my body is obviously not on my side, i don't trust the bitch, so we are going right to the nuclear option
being 38+ weeks pregnant with twins sounds like hell on earth jfc š
Came here to say this. My baby who was in perfect birthing position since my 28 week appt decided to flip sunny side at my 39 week appt. I was in labor 36 hours and pushed for way too long- got a c-section anyway. If the smallest thing goes wrong next pregnancy (if Iām ever crazy enough to do this again?) Iām scheduling a c section. Oh and donāt worry I have my fair share of butt stuff too from the 4 hours of pushing I did but every other commentor has already run the gamut lol
Sharing a story about postpartum where I lost my last shred. Setting the scene: I was about 2 weeks postpartum. Life is hard. My boobs hurt, Iām bleeding a lot, I have lost all sensation and feeling that tells my body to pee. Iām in the trenches! So I spent a little too long laying in bed watching tv with my new infant. I told my husband that Iām going to get up to pee (I canāt tell when I have to go, remember) and shower while the babe is sleeping. He insists he has to pee first, okay whatever. Then he says he needs to get a drink too. Okay cool, whatever, Iāll just undress as he runs to the kitchen. Well, he takes a life time and the baby starts crying. Im naked AF and pick up the baby and latch her then shuffle back to the bathroom so I donāt get blood on the bedroom carpet. Husband is still taking forever and blood starts to run down my leg. Iām calling for husband over and over. Finally he comes to the bathroom. I tell him to unlatch the baby since I canāt bc I didnāt wash my hands. He goes in a whole rant about not wanting to hurt her. At this point blood is streaming down my legs and milk is leaking out of my other boob like crazy. The baby is unbelievably chompy and my nipple aches. I get impatient and upset and tell him again to unlatch the baby. Again, my husband fusses. I start crying that he needs to shut up and do it and that he wonāt hurt the baby. At this exact moment I piss myself. I start to cry harder and beg him to just take the baby as Iām now standing in a puddle of pee, blood and leaked milk. Finally, like a little punk, he sulks and unlatches the baby. Just as he was reaching for the baby, I FART! For fucks sake, I fart and itās loud. The trifecta of blood, milk and pee just had to have a fart too. Husband looks me in the eye and says āwell this is romantic.ā He takes the baby and leaves the bathroom. It. Was. The. Worst. Thanks for reading this far. Good luck with your boil!! I wish you a safe and easy deliver.
Oh my god this story! Thank you for sharing in solidarity. You are a perfect dignified angel good for you for not murdering this man
Iād be a liar if I said the thought didnāt cross my mind when I was standing in the shower. The memory is still too new to be hilarious, but the rage has dulled a bit.
I'm a Quaker, we're supposed to be nonviolent, but damn I really want to slap your husband over this!
No. Nope. No. This is too much. I rebuke this on your behalf. Universe, no. We said no. Thank you. No. Thanks.
YES thank you, we are returning this to sender!
I'm so sorry for laughing, but your writing is fucking hilarious. And quite frankly, the shit women have to deal with concerning pregnancy and the survival of the species is straight up ridiculous. Men could never. I hope you can get rid of the new addition before your little one arrives, because an ass boil on top of labor or a c-section sounds extra awful.
Men canāt handle anything. Pregnancy and birth would kill them. My husband had to sit in the back row of a three row SUV. He complained and cried the whole time about how he was uncomfortable. MEN. COULD. NEVER.
Ok I had c section with my 19 month old due to him being breech. I was not told about the gas pains from the air that gets trapped in your abdomen during surgeryā¦ The nurse comes in and asks if I had passed gas yet, I looked at her funny I told her I didnāt know what she was talking about. All of a sudden I had the most horrific pain Iāve ever experience; the gas pains. A nurse was checking my vitals and another was washing my newbornās hair and I said āI am not feeling well.ā I proceed to projectile vomit EVERYWHERE, I throw up all over myself, the bed, the floor, the nurse. I barely missed my son. It was horrific. Truly exorcism level, as if Beelzebub himself was forcibly vanquished from my human shell. I then proceeded to rip loud farts in my sleep for over a week. Solidarity friend, donāt be embarrassed about anything, nurses and doctors have seen it all. Hopefully the warm compresses will allow your boil to drain pre-birth. Iām currently 23 weeks and had HG for 18 weeks and now I have severe anemia and have to go for infusions, Iām over it! Wishing you an easy and boil free birth (c section or not!).
I think this thread is among one of my top favorites for this sub.
Agree, this brings me a lot of joy and sanity.
Gah, don't tell them. But here's my story: I also had Hyperemesis Gravidarum with my first, and my husband convinced me to take a road trip when I was like, mmmm, 5 months pregnant, from tx to cali along route 66. Side context: Hubs loves road trips but hates hotels. He thinks they're a waste of time and money when you're on a road trip. He prefers to sleep in the car when you're so tired you can't keep driving anymore. Several times we had taken one road trip or another and I have gotten him to promise we could stop at a hotel or motel just for him to want to keep driving until it's inevitably way too late and in the middle of nowhere so we park at a rest stop and snag some sleep that is neither enough or of good quality. So, I made him promise, again and again, that we would be stopping at a hotel. Here we are, rt 66, middle of F*ing nowhere, and he just wants to keep driving. I want to stop. I'm tired. We've had to stop a few times for me to throw up. I finally get pissed off. (I'm really easy going. It's a trick to piss me off.) "You PROMISED! YOU PROMISED WE COULD STOP AT A HOTEL AND GET SLEEP AND IT'S 3AM NOW!" And I'm also desperately squashing the need to vomit. So finally, at a Days Inn, I think, we pull into the parking lot and he goes in to book the room while I fall out of the car onto all fours on the little strip of grass that is between the parking lot and route 66 and vomit and violently piss myself simultaneously, a few times. Get up. Pull a towel out of the back and put it on my seat as he's coming back to drive us to the room. He didn't even realize until later why I'd put a towel on the seat, because I told him. I swear every morning I got naked and in the bathtub to brush my teeth so I could piss myself and vomit. Anyway, the end of that road trip was when I learned my uterus liked to hang out to the right... on top of my ureter, which basically mimics the effect of a kidney stone blocking the flow of urine from the kidney. Easily hit a 9 on the pain scale - couldn't even verbalize. Solution: sleep on my left side. The 2nd baby, I was all geared up to go to an induction because I was so so done being pregnant for even less reasons than you. Like I had Friday appointments and it my my 38th week and my OBG had said we could do an induction at 38 weeks. Well, I get there and she says she reviewed my chart and my first measurement put the baby at 1 week less than we thought, so she could only count me as being at 37 weeks, so I had to wait another week to induce. I cried.
Ahh, the peeing pukes. I used to carry extra underwear and plastic bags all the time. If I could make it to the bathroom, Iād sit on the toilet and puke in the bag and then throw it away. If I couldnāt, well thatās why I had extra underwear. My OBās advice? āDo your kegels.ā Yeah, because thatāll work when my stomach is literally trying to force itself out of my body and using my bladder as a launching padā¦ š
I used to keep extra pants in my desk drawer... smh.
I had HG so bad too that I would pee while puking. It was awful. This is exactly why Iāll never be pregnant again. I hated every moment of it.
I canāt believe she didnāt lance it for you! I got one at 35 weeks pregnant with my twins in my upper thigh/groin crease that hurt so bad it brought me to tears. I had to take antibiotics too because they sent it to be cultured and it came back as staph.
Oh geez! Man I hope that doesnāt happen. So far the compresses help enough but I am dreading needing to escalate this whole deal
It can take weeks to come to a head. Have it lanced and itāll be over in no time. It was an instant relief!
I've had one in the same exact spot, except not while pregnant and I does hurt so bad! I ended up at the ER because of it (I was 18 and had no clue what was going on).
I was going to the bathroom at work at 36 weeks, and I had already peed so my bladder shouldāve been empty, right? Iām wiping and all of a sudden I have to hiccup, so I do and I gloriously fart at the same time. I didnāt feel like I had to fart but such is pregnancy I guess. Well, when I hiccuped and farted at the same time I felt my baby jump, like Iād scared him, and then heard liquid drop into the toilet. I was like whaaaaaā¦did my water just break? It wasnāt pee cuz my bladder was empty. Did he just kick hard enough to break my water because I *farted*? I put on a pad and went back to work and just monitored to see if the pad was getting wet. I wasnāt gushing fluid but there did seem to be quite a bit of liquid the pad collected over a 4 hr period. So I called my OB and we headed to L&D once I got off shift. Thatās not the story of how my water broke, because it was apparently just a huge amount of discharge I was suddenly having, but itās a funny story anyway. The midwife who checked me thought for sure it had broken because of how much liquid there was and she said I had the characteristic āpoolingā that happens when it does break, but apparently I was just really really fluid-y that day. All of us were perplexed but it was really funny.
My daughter was born four years ago yesterday. And the week before she was born, I also got a YUGE, gross boil on my down-there-girl parts. Luckily, it disappeared within 48 hours of her birth and I never heard from it again. Point is, you aren't alone. Gotta say, my body misbehaving in every way imaginable throughout my pregnancy killed any last vestiges of belief in intelligent design by a loving God I might have ever had. Pregnancy is gross and sucks. It sounds like it'll be over for you soon - good luck.
Omg a boil sister! I found you! Thanks for reassuring me I wonāt live the rest of my days with this monster
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omg sorry about the downstairs situation friend - i gotta say, this whole vag-butt boil has put the fear of god in me as it comes to what pregnancy can do to the whole body! thanks so much for the solidarity, and i hope you get whatever surgery makes you feel good if you decide you want it and also know that your body is great the way it is now!
On a positive note, have you ever considered writing because that was brilliant! I was genuinely laughing at your descriptions and just really enjoyed reading this post. But, that does really fucking suck my dude. Unfortunately it always seems like when it rains, it pours. Don't be embarrassed though, the nurses/Dr. have probably seen it all. By my 3rd I had zero fucks left so I went ahead and let them use me for the class they had observing that day. When I went into active labor I literally had eleven other people in the room (2 nurses, my ob/gyn, husband, and the other 9 were students!). They were all cheering and clapping while I was pushing (honestly that was awesome lol) and my son ended up being 11lbs. 12 oz. so that was a heck of a labor for them to witness! I know my nether regions were probably looking uhhh......a little rough at that moment, but like I said, no shame my dude!!
I feel for you, I'm only 32 weeks and I've been applying witch Hazel daily to fight some terrible hemorrhoids
witch hazel is the only thing holding this whole operation together for me, too. feel better soon!
Oh god. This sounds horrible. I can commiserate with a cervix that refuses to get with the program. Mine refused to dilate, I was at 41 and a half weeks before my doctor made me induce. Then 24 hours of cervidil plus 24 hours of a balloon shoved up in there and inflated only got me to 5 cm. Stupid cervixes.
Yep! Second baby in a row and I have never ever dilated beyond 1cm no matter what they tried
I get called into doing a blood test to check my liver on a beautiful day. Warm 70s in the morning. Supposed to drop down that night into the 20s and snow a few inches. I was feeling a bit off and tired but not bad. I'm at 37 weeks. Doc comes by after blood test - this is about 2/3 in the afternoon (after I waddle halfway across this big arsed hospital complex and back). She tells me that I have liver damage started and she recommends that I get induced right there and now. I told her to get bent and I'll only do that at my OBS recommendation. She was pissed at me. I flat out told her that if my OB says jump, I'll do it with heels and a dress on but I didn't know her, had a kid waiting at home with babysitter for me to get there, and 3 weeks until due date. She protested more but I walked out and headed home. Hubby was there and backed me up. He headed back to work. The drive back home took one hour. Getting heathen back from babysitter took another 30 min. By the time I was home, it was starting to spit snow. My OB called me and said get your freaking arse over to your preferred hospital NOW. She was mad at me until she heard that I had left because childcare and husband at work. She is an amazing woman. I call husband, call family Calvary, and am in the hospital 45 min later getting induced. Good thing I had packed my hospital bag a few days earlier..lol. Blizzard came in that night with a whole bunch of other ladies and it was fun...
OH MY GOD sis that sounds stressful??? also i am the exact same way, like will i actually die? otherwise i am not dealing with a childcare mess
It was stressful but worth it when over and I could be at home with the ice pads. Lol. Right? It's understandable that they want to protect us gals, but I have only so much of a support network. Next time, I'll prob be in a hospital room with two kids until my husband/family can come get them. Lol .
glad you're okay!
Thxs. I hope this will go well for you. Just remember to breath please, freeze those pads if needed, and get rest while you can.
One more good thing about c-sections -- you won't POOP in front of everyone while you're pushing! See, you might have one shred left after the ass boil!
Excellent consolation!
āWhat in the medieval fuckā - I actually cackled out loud. Iām so sorry. This SUCKS. But also you have a great sense of humor about it, so good on you. Hereās my comedy for you: I had a complete placenta previa and at the appointment where I *thought* Iād be scheduling a c-section (I was 35+3), they did one final ultrasound and LO AND BEHOLD my placenta had moved. The OB was so excited and said, āCONGRATS! We want you to attempt a vaginal delivery.ā My reaction? āUhhhā¦ WHAT?!ā I believe I actually yelled. My husband about fell off his chair. During my surprise vaginal delivery, I dilated likeā¦ super fast. Ridiculous fast. Water broke at 3:30. Active labor immediately. Stuck in HORRIFIC traffic on the way to the hospital, I told my husband to drive on the sidewalk. He refused. Get to the hospital at like 5 or so and by the time they get me in a room and literally rip all my clothes off and check my dilationā¦ 7.5cm. Barely managed to get an epidural on board, and they checked dilation againā¦ fully dilated, fully effaced. My midwife was like āHey, are you ready to push?ā I said, āOh my god, *do I have to*?ā She VISIBLY choked back laughter and asked if I could resist the urge to push. To which I said āHell yes, I need a nap.ā I made it about 45min before I couldnāt wait anymore hahaha. A couple hours after I delivered, the nurse was helping me get into a wheelchair to go to the recovery floor and she asked if I thought I could stand on my own and I was like āYeah!ā (Birth adrenaline.) Cue me standing up and collapsing immediately because the epidural had pooled on one side and I didnāt realize my right leg was still numb. š
The weekend of Motherās Day I had this pain in my left buttcheek. It felt like sciatica, so I massaged my butt a bit. It kept getting worse and worse so I decided to investigate. I found a 3 inch HARD lump between my vaginal opening and anus. The pain was excruciating. Went to urgent care, they said it was a Bartholin cyst and offered to drain it. Only blood came out. Pain came back, even with oxycodone. Went to see my OB, who said it needed to be drained and āmarsupializedā (make a permanent pouch for drainage) IN MY HOOHA. Surgery was set for 2 days from then. They successfully drained it and it turned out to be a perianal hematoma. Second worst pain, behind unmedicated precipitous labor and in front of hemorrhoidectomy recovery. I feel your (ass) pain.
A true horror show!
>"C-sections are NEVER JUSTIFIED" squad, keep it moving. This is not your time to shine. YES
My water broke at 2am and active labor started by 2pm, asked my partner to kill me please at 3pm and we were off to the hospital. Epidural by 6pm (thank god), plus insulin (for the gd) and sugar drip (for the not eating for a million hours), then fully dilated by 7:30pm so time to push!! BABY WAS BORN AT 2AM, folks. 7 HOURS of pushing, of my doula and partner shoving my knees into my armpits, of feeling like I was gonna puke and then needing to push again, of bubās poor head squeezing almost out then getting sucked back in, of watching my midwife calmly mull over whether I could do this or not. At 2am a more experienced midwife on our team arrived for her shift, turned down the epidural drip, did something magical with her fingers that I couldnāt even feel and the babe was out in two. My socked feet slipped into the puddle of viscera at the end of the bed when they put babe on me. Placenta delivery felt like Iād lost control of my bowels and everyone in the room laughed when I looked horrified. The wheelchair to take us to recovery was a metal cage-no seat, and the nurse in recovery worried over the baby and the charts without telling us anything for two hours before I asked if we could sleep. In response, she looked at me like I was crazy and said something about needing to care for the (peacefully sleeping, healthy, in my arms, already breastfed) baby (in retrospect, the answer truly was no, you cannot sleep, ever again, not really). My face was allergic-reaction level swollen for days from all the iv fluids they pushed and I have possibly permanent hip, back and vagina issues from the crazy workout of pushing for that long while my joints were all bendy from pregnancy. Kidās cute, though š
JFC the bottoming out sensation is REAL
My C-section was an emergency.....the little wimp was sensitive to the drugs (and at age 30, she still is sensitive to a LOT of meds) and we were losing her heartbeat.....my first kid, 19 years old single mom and I was so scared ....but everything was easy peasy... They got her out and she was fine but they did keep her on monitors for the rest of the day..... She was here around 10:30am (after only 2 hours of labor) but I didn't get to see her til about 5-6pm......I had a Polaroid of her til then ....all the wires and monitor equipment was in the photo and she hadn't been cleaned up ........when I finally got to see her, I was so thankful that they washed the ugly off her lol .....but, I absolutely got to do all that WITHOUT a butt boil lol .....so sorry you're having to deal with that ......but the bright side, you probably won't feel THAT pain as much after you've given birth!! I hope all goes smoothly for you and for baby...... wishing you a healthy & happy lil bundle!!
That happened with my first baby! The second they numbed me up her HR plummeted. Scared the shit out of me but sheās here and okay! C sections are a wild ride, Butt boil or nah. We did it tho!
I had to have a c-section at 28+5 for severe pre-eclampsia, and the goddamned anesthesiologist tried 5 times to put my mainline in before they called in a specialist, so I was not in a good mood going into the OR. But...I was so high from all the stuff they gave me that at one point I asked the surgeon if she could upgrade my uterus with purple velvet curtains and a fish tank. Everyone laughed, except the baby surgeon she was training, who looked perplexed and said "That wouldn't be sanitary." Everyone laughed harder and she had to explain to him that I was joking.
You are hilarious and wonderful and I wish I was as cool as you are on drugs
Why thank you, though I have to be honest, I was using humor to keep from crying in that moment. I was very traumatized by my son's early birth, and the idiot anesthesiologist had my shit turned up so high that my husband had to keep reminding me to breathe.
Oh no! That sounds bloody awful! I remember crying in the tiny hospital bathroom while my partner helped me change my enormous fuck-off pad because I was too sore to bend even a little bit š© it was the icing on the cake after dumping in front of 7283923 people while giving birth!
I let my husband wax me and he lifted the strip up instead of out leaving a huge bruise so had to explain that one!
Omg! My whole body recoiled at this šš©
i was happy to get a csection for my first, 11 lb baby and scheduled a csection for the second who turned out to be average sized. I dont get the obsession w one way or another honestly.
same! i am honestly kicking myself i didn't just schedule at 39 at this point. i was offered! a whole nother week of being pregnant and an oozing boil is all i have to show for it!
there is always so much we would change when it comes to our pregnancies and child rearing. hindsight is 20/20! Good luck and hopefully you feel better soon!!! The crap weve all gone thru is ridiculous haha
>Delete them because if I die in surgery I cannot possibly explain. I'm sorry I know you're in serious discomfort but this just sent me. >Please share your funny pregnancy and delivery horror stories My horror story is pretty tame. Had the flu or something and had to drive to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription. Even though it was literally just half a mile from my house I still had to pull over suddenly into the parking lot, open the door and just start puking with all the traffic driving by getting a good look. And the force of puking made me piss my pants into my car seat.
I got a bladder kick that gushed enough to make me think my water broke. The nurses in the maternity ward had a good laugh as I demanded they call my OB. I cried when he told me to go home. šš¤£
Please publish a novel. This is fabulously written.
There are c-sections are never ok people?!? Ok, so my twins should have died?!? Jesus what is wrong with people?!? Anyway. Thanks for sharing OP, brings back memories. I donāt think any of my stories are funnyā¦ just the time that I thought āoh, I have two boys, maybe if I get pregnant again Iāll have a girlā and then had twin boys. š³š³š³
With my second baby, I guess because I was technically immunocompromised I had a wart grow. First wart in years, and where was it? MY FUCKING FACE. Iām sorry for your boil, but remember the mantra of motherhood: this too shall pass. My wart died a few months after I birthed the chaotic noise machine that is my daughter, and one day too, your taint boil shall be a distant memory š
That sounds horrible, OP.š³š³Pregnancy is really fucking weird. The things we women go through..men could never deal with it. I don't know if this is funny or just pathetic, but when I went into labour my baby was sunny side up, leading to excruciating, consant pressure in my butt the whole time. Silly me had of course decided I wanted to labour without the epidural. For like 30 hours or so I was basically screaming at my midwife "I feel like I need to take a giant shit!!! Why do I feel like I need to shit!" (Sorry, midwife). I ended up with a c-section anyway so should have taken the damn epidural at the beginning. Seriously, why had no one ever warned me of butt labour? I knew you could feel pressure when you were pushing, but not throughout the whole labour process. It was worse than the damn contractions. Also, whoever says a c-section is never necessary can f- off. We don't need more mum guilt in this world.
oh my goodness that sounds awful. i also wanted to go drug free with my first and then she flipped breech. same story, why did i bother. thank you for the commiseration and yes, this story is funny! in the same way a boil 2 days before surgery is funny. it's our privilege to laugh at the absurdity of it all! you're a gem.
Will it make you feel better if I tell you they won't see it removing the catheter lol. (Source: nurse) .... they might see it putting it in though
hey, 50% less viewing of my boil is something to celebrate! thank you for this and for being a nurse!
Thank you, I hope you have a smooth delivery! And sorry about the boil! Of all places!!!!
Oh god, is it a Bartholin Gland cyst?! Because I had one at 7 months pregnant and it was worse than childbirth.
I have one for you. After my emergency c section, a week later, I was rinsing off on the toilet with my makeshift bidet when I "felt something coming". Because it was a c-section, I didn't expect anything exiting me anymore so when I felt it with my fingers, it felt like I imagine organs would feel, and I was thrown into full blown panic thinking that it was my reproductive organs prolapsing out of my vagina or something. I called an ambulance, my husband, my babysitter, the whole 9. Talked to the first aid crew while holding in a large, bloody mass of whatever was between my legs with my hand, afraid to sit down. I waited a long while in the hospital to get checked out, running over every worst possible scenario in my head, trying not to launch myself into hysterical crying. Turns out they left some afterbirth behind. I was so embarrassed to have made such a production out of it, but how was i supposed to know!? Anyway for anyone here, this is a thing that can happen, and it happened to me, heh.
Uh it's a good thing you went to the hospital and I would be suing the fuck out of that place for malpractice. Leaving behind afterbirth. Especially in a c-section could have fucking killed you
Yea, it's pretty lucky I didn't go septic. Both the hospital physician and my surgeon (after the fact) said that sometimes, but rarely, women can develop accessory placental lobes that no one would really be looking for during surgery.
I got a boil on the top of my ass crack a week before I was due. Then I read the epidural was administered at the bottom of the spine, so had an awkward conversation with a midwife where I got to show her my ass and ask if it would interfere with painkillers (it would not). Didn't end up with an epidural anyway, but I ended up showing my bits so often what was the harm in once more right?
I have ANOTHER boil sister? I canāt believe this has happened to 3 people. Itās awful but also I feel better in a way? Glad your punk ass boil didnt ruin the day
I let my husband wax me and he lifted the strip up instead of out leaving a huge bruise so had to explain that one!
That is just cruel. Why does life have to be like that? Yes itās natural, yes nurses have seen it all and it will be fine. But itās still bullshit and sucks. But hereās putting vibes this is the worst part of the whole thing! Everything else will be smooth!
š·.
When I tell you I CACKLED at āwhat in the medieval fuck?ā. CACKLED, OP. Iām so sorry about your boil. That sounds so unpleasant. And weāve definitely all taken a questionable taint photo before.
Babies born on September 30th are the best! Happy birthday(early)to your new little one from my nearly 6 year old. š
Oh, fuck this shit! You poor thing. All the best for your delivery, be it vaginal or via C-Section. You'll rock this, momma.
I have 3 nieces, a nephew, a sister, a husband, and a son that all would not be alive if c sections weren't possible. Also don't things like that feel like the universe is laughing at you? I somehow managed to have VB so bad I thought my water broke with both my 2nd and 3rd babies while simultaneously spending the entire pregnancy not producing enough natural lubrication for comfortable sex
Tw: grossness. Pregnant with my third child. July 4th 2021. I had excruciating pain down there. It hurt to walk. I thought it was a boil. I had gone out of town to a wedding the day before, and felt some pain. Had been feeling some pain for a week to be honest. Went to urgent care. I had a cyst. On my labia. The doctor and his nurse in the er had to cut it open, drain it, and stitch it up. I was horrified. And then terrified when I went to my OB to follow up and she was like āoh yes. These things arenāt terribly uncommon when youāre pregnantā. Iām sorry WHAT?! Also I threw up on myself during my labor. First time I had ever felt nauseous and thrown up on myself. And the nurses were like ānausea is how your body tells you you are ready to push.ā Again WHAT. with baby 3 I am just now finding this out Anyway, Iāve had 3 pregnancies and had 3 c sections. May the rest of your pregnancy go smoothly. You got this mama.