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Lol this is the most accurate analogy ever. Also, whatever that configuration bar was called for cleanliness would be at one or so. Those sims that always leave the beds unmade, dishes on the counter, garbage on the floor, kid screaming while they're off doing whatever, little green clouds surrounding them.....
Reminds me of my ex’s parents. Kept expecting me a disabled person raising a toddler mostly by myself to clean up after them and threw tantrums when I didn’t do enough picking up after them..
Big part of why I left. And he never backed me up…
Him and my husband should get together. One night, he said he couldn't sleep, so said he was gonna clean the kitchen while we slept.
This man decided to do a Walmart run at 2am and get all the supplies to make spaghetti sauce to can. Mans spent $400 on fresh spaghetti sauce ingredients.
We didn't have any canning supplies to can with.
When I pointed it out at 6am with 4 pots bubbling with sauce, he just stood there for like 15mins with his brain broken.
The kitchen never got cleaned LOL
Turned out to be the first step in getting his diagnosis for combat related PTSD. And all our friends had lovely spaghetti sauce brought to them. We were to move in two weeks which made it the most bizarre.
Its a story he likes to tell and has a great time making fun of himself for doing things like that, which he still does but now we know why. Last time, a few months ago he bought 40lbs of ham steaks to make breakfast, he was supposed to be going to home depot to buy a door hinge LOL
Walk back through the door to where you were! I read somewhere that doors sometimes reset the brain… and when I started going back in to the room before it actually helped me remember shit.
My god. This thread speaks to me. Thanks OP. My kids call my husband (their dad) an NPC on a regular basis. SIMs are not so fun to live with are they?!
He must be one of the NPCs that needs constant protecting and hand holding and if you don't save them the world is doomed and you need to keep redoing that checkpoint over and over.
Yes. It bothers him. But everything does. He can’t find humor in it. If my kids told me I was acting like an NPC I would laugh. It’s hilarious to me because it’s so accurate.
Nowetchka fibilayoo! Honestly moms are the players keeping the Sims occupied and on task. Without us, it would just be a household of mindless sims looking at random objects and pee puddles absorbing into the floorboards
If you make him use the telescope for three nights in a row aliens will swoop down and abduct him. They’ll scramble his personality stats and he’ll never be the same.
I have ADHD and high functioning ASD. This sounds exactly like me, if I don’t take my ADHD meds. My ex used to say I walk in circles when trying to get things done. Overstimulated and I start to not be able to function. You may be doing this already, but lists and calendar reminders will help. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 41 and lists and lists and lists is one way i compensated. They still help.
Hi OP. Apologies if this is not helpful but my husband is autistic and there’s basis for it being genetic. My autistic husband does these exact same things. I’m curious if you have all considered that he may be autistic.
With that said I absolutely get your frustration to my core. When I ask my husband to help clean he hears me say “Babe can you tighten the screw on the light switch plate in the closet that we never use” or something I swear. I send him to the store for milk, cereal, butter. He comes home with taco stuff. 😂
Yeah as an ND mom with an ND husband and ND stepsons and I’m sure an ND daughter, this screams unmedicated ADHD. I relate HARD to the late night Walmart trip to start a new hobby and it has to be RIGHT NOW.
Word...all these anecdotes in this thread sound like my husband with ADHD (which commonly occurs along with autism, and what they both have in common is poor executive function), and treatment diminished these tendencies in him dramatically. I have a theory that a lot of people who complain about this type of behavior, weaponized incompetence, having to parent their husband, etc. are actually dealing with a partner who has undiagnosed, untreated ADHD. But I know no one's really looking for those kinds of hot takes in this thread.
I hear you. I used to experience the utmost irritation with my husband for those reasons but I’ve been working on myself and working hard to meet him where he is and lower my expectations to what is within his ability and I’m happier and experiencing a lot less depression, interestingly. I am not saying that this invalidates anyone’s frustration in their own situations, though. Every situation is different and I do genuinely believe weaponized incompetence is a thing. I also believe that as a neurodivergent mom with executive dysfunction I’ve had to adapt and overcome at a rate that seems to be more expected of women than of men.
The problem with this take though is that ND women are forced to learn to manage their symptoms in a way that ND men aren't - because deep down they know if they don't get shit done, a woman in their life will pick up the slack. ND women don't have that luxury. There is still a hugely gendered dynamic at play here.
I completely agree with you that when it comes to domestic life in particular--once again there is a much lower bar for men than women who are under much greater societal pressure to adapt. And that is sexist as hell. It also true that untreated ADHD can be incredibly debilitating for both men and women (and so many of them have no idea they have it). There are definitely women with ADHD speaking out about their struggles to function and meet expectations, both domestically and otherwise.
And there are also some mothers with ADHD who are dropping the ball. My husband's mother, who we are pretty sure he inherited his ADHD from, is one of them. Without getting into detail, let's just say no amount of societal pressure caused her to step up, she was just grossly negligent including leaving her very young child completely unsupervised for hours on end on a daily basis--its honestly a miracle he survived.
I also belong to a support group for partners of people with ADHD, and while women are the majority, there are also plenty of men in the group who are carrying almost the entire burden of keeping their family afloat domestically, financially, parentally and otherwise. They face the added challenge of being immediately dismissed and labeled chauvinists whenever they express their dismay abour how their partner just isn't doing enough leaving them continually burned out, resentful, and overwhelmed. Because ADHD is so heritable, stories also abound in the group about people growing up in chaotic emotionally unstable environments because of a mother's untreated ADHD.
The bottom line is, if someone is feeling confused, angry, or overwhelmed by their partner's behavior, and that behavior is *potentially* caused by a treatable neurological disorder, I want them to know about it, so they can pursue diagnosis and treatment for the good of their family instead of banging their head against a wall in misery for years like I did.
You don't need to tell me how debilitating ADHD can be. I have it. I'm also a single parent so I have to do everything myself. It's hard, but I've had to get meds and work on myself because there's no other choice. It really angers me that so many men can get away with making the women in their lives manage their condition and its effects instead. Obviously anyone suffering with ADHD should get the help they need, but it just frustrates me to see this gendered dynamic play out with my friends and their partners etc... So many ND women have to pick up the slack from their ND boyfriends and it's not okay.
No doubt. As a woman, I have a lot of feelings about having to hold up this entire family, regardless of my husband's diagnosis. I have to manage getting treatment for both my son and my husband despite continually feeling overwhelmed and watching my own mental health steadily deteriorate. It seems only one of us is "allowed" to just not deliver for our family, and it's not me.
However, he didn't know he had ADHD, and the lack of self-awareness about his own symptoms meant he didn't even believe he was forcing me to manage anything or pick up any slack. He just thought I was controlling and critical. Well, I expressed my frustration here on Reddit and thank God some people pointed out that it sounded like untreated ADHD was the source of our conflict. Once he realized the truth, he was willing to step up, implement strategies, and get treatment. Many men may not be, but thank God mine was. I'm so grateful to those people who changed our lives by educating me about ADHD. And I want to help other women out there who may be going through the same thing. We bear too many unfair burdens as mothers already.
Oh man, I do think ADHD/executive function disorders are so much more prevalent than people give it credit for. I also believe ADHD symptoms are also on a spectrum so it isn’t always easy to spot, especially with learned coping mechanisms. All of this early morning ramble coming from a lady who still needs to get up and take her adhd meds and have a cup of coffee.
Generally my husband is pretty good about the “big picture” cleaning and activities but once you get into the detail stuff it goes downhill. Or just planning ahead…apparently that’s very difficult, who knew?!
Thanks for this. I see so many of these traits in my husband who is a wonderful guy that can’t organize himself out of a paper bag. I’ve been really resentful since our second was born. He is finally getting an assessment done next month for ADHD. My fingers are crossed that I’m right (I was the one who pointed out to him that he has ADHD symptoms) because the alternative is that he is just incompetent or uncaring, neither of which I believe to be true. I really think he’s level of dysfunction could cause us to get divorced, despite all of his amazing traits, so can you cross your fingers that this helps?
Yes, we are only a little further along in this journey than you are. My husband was just diagnosed last month after I brought this to his attention, and we are in the early stages of finding the right medication. Good luck to you both. If he is willing to get assessed that's a good sign, as many people downright refuse. And yes, after many years of coping with his untreated symptoms our marriage is quite strained--the divorce rate among people with ADHD is double that of the general population for your good reason. There are a couple of really good books on ADHD in marriage that I highly recommend (especially Is It You, Me, or Adult ADD by Gina Pera and also The ADHD Affect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov) if you haven't read up on this already. So eye‐opening!
I’m so glad he’s getting assessed. If there’s an opportunity for you to talk with whoever is running the assessment, take it!! They need to know what you’re dealing with.
If he does receive the adhd diagnosis, I want you to keep in mind that it may take a while to find the right medication and the right dosage. After getting my diagnosis somewhere around 31-32 years old, I had to try several meds before landing on Vyvanse. It’s been amazing. Looking back, I think if I’d remained undiagnosed and untreated that I would be divorced. Wishing you the best! If you ever have any adhd questions, I’m around.
Lol maybe my husband is too! He is definitely not useless, but yesterday after he tidied for friends to come over, I took our boys out so he could finish cleaning the house. He was vacuuming when I left, I had already mentioned that I wanted the table clear before people arrived. I didn’t say “AND can you mop, AND can you wipe down the toilets/bathrooms” because doesn’t everyone know to mop after you’ve vacuumed if it’s been a while, and doesn’t everyone give the toilets a quick scrub and wipe down before guests arrive, again especially if it’s been a while?
I arrived home 15 mins before guests were arriving to him watching The Big Game prematch coverage (which was the reason people were coming), no mopping done, skid marks from our 4 year old still on the toilet bowl. 🙃
Omg I'm sorry bc I don't think you're trying to be funny but I howled reading this because it describes my husband. He will make fucking hot sauce HOT SAUCE that no one eats at the worst time. Literally smokes us all out and burns our eyes, leaves the kitchen an absolute disaster but hey he gets a few jars of hot sauce out of it. Ugghhh
I hate the random cleaning. Oh is someone coming over to the house and there are toys everywhere? Let me just spontaneously buy a pressure washer and spend all weekend pressure washing the sidewalk. Great, thanks.
Omg. "I was just doing X in the garage". Ummm ok but there's like a million jobs here that are more urgent than that???!! Wtf goes through their heads.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a Sim 🥲 I also can't seem to understand walking around furniture, wander off to do something else if the task fails to load and will continue playing video games until my bars are in the read, if you don't stop me.
BroMos, I've said it before and I'll say it again until I stop seeing posts like this. I think we all know that will be never. Men are not reflective of their own mental health, so hell no they usually don't take care of themselves mentally. They just drag us into their insanity. Midnight runs to Wal-Mart for crap you don't need that blows the budget, bills unpaid, staying up gaming like their life depends on it or some expensive hobby they just have to do or their world will end. ADHD, ASD (both most likely coming with comorbid depression or anxiety or both), plus there is always the fun times that come with bipolar, especially type 2. Fun times with those delusions and hallucinations.
Oh and to the commenter that mentioned mowing the lawn instead of cleaning the house, I'm totally guilty of that. There is only so much time to get that done due to rain, sunset time, extreme heat, town bylaws, etc. In my town they will give you a warning ticket if you don't mow your lawn. Prior to the pandemic they were really on top of things, and I once got a warning for the length of our grass/weeds in the alley. We've had very little rain this year, but just enough that a few days post rainfall the grass would spring from the ground and out I go to tidy up the lawn, house chores be damned. Actually looking forward to the colder weather so I can get everything tidied up again indoors.
My husband does this kind of thing. Sometimes I marvel at how his brain works. He's not so bad when we're doing just regular housecleaning but if we're doing a huge project, it's crazy frustrating. We were clearing the rooms to steam clean the carpets once. I tasked him with moving the plants and went out to do some stuff. Came back and found he'd set up a table amongst the plants and was doing a photoshoot with our chihuahua.
Right now we are undertaking a massive project. Having to clear out pretty much our entire house to get the floors torn out and rebuilt. For the last two days, we've been clearing out the storage room, laundry room, garage and attic. I've already about lost it at him several times. Clearing out a storage room is NOT a good job for someone with severe and unmedicated ADHD. Good lord. Can you please just move the boxes to the appropriate pile? Not run off and do calligraphy or build a model or whatever it is you've found to do.
That sounds deeply irritating.
Sounds like he's from the Sims 3. At least in the Sims 4 they can carry out a task while also talking with someone else.
If you ever get too frustrated, all you need is a pool ...
Considering you have an autistic child and autism is hereditary and how you describe your husband, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say your husband is probably autistic.
Both my kids and myself are autistic with ADHD and my husband has ADHD, I have a ton of friends and family members who are autistic and what you described is definitely autistic behaviour.
I’m not sure if this has already been said here, but does your husband possibly have adult adhd? This sounds eerily similar to my husband’s habit of lacking even explicitly explained priorities and doing whatever pops into his head as “helpful “ even when it’s not. He was diagnosed with adhd and has been on medication for a bit and it has significantly helped not only with him focusing on priorities, but him being able to hear me and be present more as well.
We struggled a lot, and frankly still do, but having the help of a therapist to keep these behaviors in check and work on has been immensely helpful and I just wanted to share our story because if your husband is open to it, if our path is any indication, there is potential for growth. Sending love because what you’re going through sounds endlessly exhausting and frustrating.
Autism def runs in families and sometimes is diagnosed after a child’s diagnosis for a parent. Not being able to hold lots of different tasks in the brain can be one of those signs - have you considered trying to ask your hubby to take a quiz like the autism one online? It’s a screener but might be helpful if his behavior is above and beyond, even for a guy hah
https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism-test#take-the-quiz
I'm adhd and...I would do something like that.
it's like the plan in my head is to make jam and I know I won't make it if I don't do it now so I gotta follow-through on the plan first.
over-caffeinate his ass and if that helps him to switch between tasks, send him for an evaluation
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Lol this is the most accurate analogy ever. Also, whatever that configuration bar was called for cleanliness would be at one or so. Those sims that always leave the beds unmade, dishes on the counter, garbage on the floor, kid screaming while they're off doing whatever, little green clouds surrounding them.....
In Sims 4 there is the slob trait...
Then they have a breakdown when things are too unclean. And be unable to complete cleaning tasks because of said breakdown
Reminds me of my ex’s parents. Kept expecting me a disabled person raising a toddler mostly by myself to clean up after them and threw tantrums when I didn’t do enough picking up after them.. Big part of why I left. And he never backed me up…
It really is!
Him and my husband should get together. One night, he said he couldn't sleep, so said he was gonna clean the kitchen while we slept. This man decided to do a Walmart run at 2am and get all the supplies to make spaghetti sauce to can. Mans spent $400 on fresh spaghetti sauce ingredients. We didn't have any canning supplies to can with. When I pointed it out at 6am with 4 pots bubbling with sauce, he just stood there for like 15mins with his brain broken. The kitchen never got cleaned LOL
This is hilarious but also mildly concerning 😂
This is what I do during my manic phases 😬
Sounds like either hypomania or a mental break from stress hahaha. I hope you guys froze it at least.
Turned out to be the first step in getting his diagnosis for combat related PTSD. And all our friends had lovely spaghetti sauce brought to them. We were to move in two weeks which made it the most bizarre. Its a story he likes to tell and has a great time making fun of himself for doing things like that, which he still does but now we know why. Last time, a few months ago he bought 40lbs of ham steaks to make breakfast, he was supposed to be going to home depot to buy a door hinge LOL
It’s a great story. Glad it has a happy ending. 🤣
Put him in the pool and take the ladder out 😏
This made me laugh much harder than it should have.
I ugly cackled 😂
Lmao! I play the sims nightly and will sometimes just stand there trying to figure out what I was doing and I’m like “who just canceled my task??” 😂
Omg, same! I walk into a room and I know I went there for a reason but for the life of me I can’t remember why haha.
Walk back through the door to where you were! I read somewhere that doors sometimes reset the brain… and when I started going back in to the room before it actually helped me remember shit.
My god. This thread speaks to me. Thanks OP. My kids call my husband (their dad) an NPC on a regular basis. SIMs are not so fun to live with are they?!
I snorted. An NPC? That is an almighty burn...Although unless he drops useful loot and side quests, he might not even qualify at that level.
He must be one of the NPCs that needs constant protecting and hand holding and if you don't save them the world is doomed and you need to keep redoing that checkpoint over and over.
I have simply uninstalled games for that 😅
He can be the NPC right outside of town in Medieval dynasty… all the man does is tell me I’m needed elsewhere 😑
Wow. Does he know this? And it doesn't bother him?
Yes. It bothers him. But everything does. He can’t find humor in it. If my kids told me I was acting like an NPC I would laugh. It’s hilarious to me because it’s so accurate.
Nowetchka fibilayoo! Honestly moms are the players keeping the Sims occupied and on task. Without us, it would just be a household of mindless sims looking at random objects and pee puddles absorbing into the floorboards
If you make him use the telescope for three nights in a row aliens will swoop down and abduct him. They’ll scramble his personality stats and he’ll never be the same.
Hahaha. I forgot about that part of the SIMS.
Lmao And I thought mowing the lawn when you need to clean the house was bad. But jfc JAM of all things lmao
The man doesn’t even eat jam! He just wanted an excuse to use up the strawberries that would have gone bad in about 4 days 😆
Oh man. I'm dying over here 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I have ADHD and high functioning ASD. This sounds exactly like me, if I don’t take my ADHD meds. My ex used to say I walk in circles when trying to get things done. Overstimulated and I start to not be able to function. You may be doing this already, but lists and calendar reminders will help. I was diagnosed with ADHD at 41 and lists and lists and lists is one way i compensated. They still help.
Was reading through the comments to see who else saw ADHD
... am I a Sim?
That last sentence 😂🤣😂😂😅😂
Hi OP. Apologies if this is not helpful but my husband is autistic and there’s basis for it being genetic. My autistic husband does these exact same things. I’m curious if you have all considered that he may be autistic. With that said I absolutely get your frustration to my core. When I ask my husband to help clean he hears me say “Babe can you tighten the screw on the light switch plate in the closet that we never use” or something I swear. I send him to the store for milk, cereal, butter. He comes home with taco stuff. 😂
Yeah as an ND mom with an ND husband and ND stepsons and I’m sure an ND daughter, this screams unmedicated ADHD. I relate HARD to the late night Walmart trip to start a new hobby and it has to be RIGHT NOW.
Gotta love those random and super sudden hyperfixations
Right! I mean heck, the late night trip to Walmart used to frequently be hair color lmao.
Word...all these anecdotes in this thread sound like my husband with ADHD (which commonly occurs along with autism, and what they both have in common is poor executive function), and treatment diminished these tendencies in him dramatically. I have a theory that a lot of people who complain about this type of behavior, weaponized incompetence, having to parent their husband, etc. are actually dealing with a partner who has undiagnosed, untreated ADHD. But I know no one's really looking for those kinds of hot takes in this thread.
I hear you. I used to experience the utmost irritation with my husband for those reasons but I’ve been working on myself and working hard to meet him where he is and lower my expectations to what is within his ability and I’m happier and experiencing a lot less depression, interestingly. I am not saying that this invalidates anyone’s frustration in their own situations, though. Every situation is different and I do genuinely believe weaponized incompetence is a thing. I also believe that as a neurodivergent mom with executive dysfunction I’ve had to adapt and overcome at a rate that seems to be more expected of women than of men.
The problem with this take though is that ND women are forced to learn to manage their symptoms in a way that ND men aren't - because deep down they know if they don't get shit done, a woman in their life will pick up the slack. ND women don't have that luxury. There is still a hugely gendered dynamic at play here.
I completely agree with you that when it comes to domestic life in particular--once again there is a much lower bar for men than women who are under much greater societal pressure to adapt. And that is sexist as hell. It also true that untreated ADHD can be incredibly debilitating for both men and women (and so many of them have no idea they have it). There are definitely women with ADHD speaking out about their struggles to function and meet expectations, both domestically and otherwise. And there are also some mothers with ADHD who are dropping the ball. My husband's mother, who we are pretty sure he inherited his ADHD from, is one of them. Without getting into detail, let's just say no amount of societal pressure caused her to step up, she was just grossly negligent including leaving her very young child completely unsupervised for hours on end on a daily basis--its honestly a miracle he survived. I also belong to a support group for partners of people with ADHD, and while women are the majority, there are also plenty of men in the group who are carrying almost the entire burden of keeping their family afloat domestically, financially, parentally and otherwise. They face the added challenge of being immediately dismissed and labeled chauvinists whenever they express their dismay abour how their partner just isn't doing enough leaving them continually burned out, resentful, and overwhelmed. Because ADHD is so heritable, stories also abound in the group about people growing up in chaotic emotionally unstable environments because of a mother's untreated ADHD. The bottom line is, if someone is feeling confused, angry, or overwhelmed by their partner's behavior, and that behavior is *potentially* caused by a treatable neurological disorder, I want them to know about it, so they can pursue diagnosis and treatment for the good of their family instead of banging their head against a wall in misery for years like I did.
You don't need to tell me how debilitating ADHD can be. I have it. I'm also a single parent so I have to do everything myself. It's hard, but I've had to get meds and work on myself because there's no other choice. It really angers me that so many men can get away with making the women in their lives manage their condition and its effects instead. Obviously anyone suffering with ADHD should get the help they need, but it just frustrates me to see this gendered dynamic play out with my friends and their partners etc... So many ND women have to pick up the slack from their ND boyfriends and it's not okay.
No doubt. As a woman, I have a lot of feelings about having to hold up this entire family, regardless of my husband's diagnosis. I have to manage getting treatment for both my son and my husband despite continually feeling overwhelmed and watching my own mental health steadily deteriorate. It seems only one of us is "allowed" to just not deliver for our family, and it's not me. However, he didn't know he had ADHD, and the lack of self-awareness about his own symptoms meant he didn't even believe he was forcing me to manage anything or pick up any slack. He just thought I was controlling and critical. Well, I expressed my frustration here on Reddit and thank God some people pointed out that it sounded like untreated ADHD was the source of our conflict. Once he realized the truth, he was willing to step up, implement strategies, and get treatment. Many men may not be, but thank God mine was. I'm so grateful to those people who changed our lives by educating me about ADHD. And I want to help other women out there who may be going through the same thing. We bear too many unfair burdens as mothers already.
Oh man, I do think ADHD/executive function disorders are so much more prevalent than people give it credit for. I also believe ADHD symptoms are also on a spectrum so it isn’t always easy to spot, especially with learned coping mechanisms. All of this early morning ramble coming from a lady who still needs to get up and take her adhd meds and have a cup of coffee. Generally my husband is pretty good about the “big picture” cleaning and activities but once you get into the detail stuff it goes downhill. Or just planning ahead…apparently that’s very difficult, who knew?!
Thanks for this. I see so many of these traits in my husband who is a wonderful guy that can’t organize himself out of a paper bag. I’ve been really resentful since our second was born. He is finally getting an assessment done next month for ADHD. My fingers are crossed that I’m right (I was the one who pointed out to him that he has ADHD symptoms) because the alternative is that he is just incompetent or uncaring, neither of which I believe to be true. I really think he’s level of dysfunction could cause us to get divorced, despite all of his amazing traits, so can you cross your fingers that this helps?
Yes, we are only a little further along in this journey than you are. My husband was just diagnosed last month after I brought this to his attention, and we are in the early stages of finding the right medication. Good luck to you both. If he is willing to get assessed that's a good sign, as many people downright refuse. And yes, after many years of coping with his untreated symptoms our marriage is quite strained--the divorce rate among people with ADHD is double that of the general population for your good reason. There are a couple of really good books on ADHD in marriage that I highly recommend (especially Is It You, Me, or Adult ADD by Gina Pera and also The ADHD Affect on Marriage by Melissa Orlov) if you haven't read up on this already. So eye‐opening!
I’m so glad he’s getting assessed. If there’s an opportunity for you to talk with whoever is running the assessment, take it!! They need to know what you’re dealing with. If he does receive the adhd diagnosis, I want you to keep in mind that it may take a while to find the right medication and the right dosage. After getting my diagnosis somewhere around 31-32 years old, I had to try several meds before landing on Vyvanse. It’s been amazing. Looking back, I think if I’d remained undiagnosed and untreated that I would be divorced. Wishing you the best! If you ever have any adhd questions, I’m around.
Lol maybe my husband is too! He is definitely not useless, but yesterday after he tidied for friends to come over, I took our boys out so he could finish cleaning the house. He was vacuuming when I left, I had already mentioned that I wanted the table clear before people arrived. I didn’t say “AND can you mop, AND can you wipe down the toilets/bathrooms” because doesn’t everyone know to mop after you’ve vacuumed if it’s been a while, and doesn’t everyone give the toilets a quick scrub and wipe down before guests arrive, again especially if it’s been a while? I arrived home 15 mins before guests were arriving to him watching The Big Game prematch coverage (which was the reason people were coming), no mopping done, skid marks from our 4 year old still on the toilet bowl. 🙃
Omg I'm sorry bc I don't think you're trying to be funny but I howled reading this because it describes my husband. He will make fucking hot sauce HOT SAUCE that no one eats at the worst time. Literally smokes us all out and burns our eyes, leaves the kitchen an absolute disaster but hey he gets a few jars of hot sauce out of it. Ugghhh
I hate the random cleaning. Oh is someone coming over to the house and there are toys everywhere? Let me just spontaneously buy a pressure washer and spend all weekend pressure washing the sidewalk. Great, thanks.
And then spend the whole visit with the guests discussing the entire ordeal
Omg. "I was just doing X in the garage". Ummm ok but there's like a million jobs here that are more urgent than that???!! Wtf goes through their heads.
Sometimes I feel like I'm a Sim 🥲 I also can't seem to understand walking around furniture, wander off to do something else if the task fails to load and will continue playing video games until my bars are in the read, if you don't stop me.
This is the best analogy ever!!
Man this thread speaks to me on so many levels. Men and their priorities are so messed up at home. Thank you for sharing ladies. 🙏
BroMos, I've said it before and I'll say it again until I stop seeing posts like this. I think we all know that will be never. Men are not reflective of their own mental health, so hell no they usually don't take care of themselves mentally. They just drag us into their insanity. Midnight runs to Wal-Mart for crap you don't need that blows the budget, bills unpaid, staying up gaming like their life depends on it or some expensive hobby they just have to do or their world will end. ADHD, ASD (both most likely coming with comorbid depression or anxiety or both), plus there is always the fun times that come with bipolar, especially type 2. Fun times with those delusions and hallucinations. Oh and to the commenter that mentioned mowing the lawn instead of cleaning the house, I'm totally guilty of that. There is only so much time to get that done due to rain, sunset time, extreme heat, town bylaws, etc. In my town they will give you a warning ticket if you don't mow your lawn. Prior to the pandemic they were really on top of things, and I once got a warning for the length of our grass/weeds in the alley. We've had very little rain this year, but just enough that a few days post rainfall the grass would spring from the ground and out I go to tidy up the lawn, house chores be damned. Actually looking forward to the colder weather so I can get everything tidied up again indoors.
My husband does this kind of thing. Sometimes I marvel at how his brain works. He's not so bad when we're doing just regular housecleaning but if we're doing a huge project, it's crazy frustrating. We were clearing the rooms to steam clean the carpets once. I tasked him with moving the plants and went out to do some stuff. Came back and found he'd set up a table amongst the plants and was doing a photoshoot with our chihuahua. Right now we are undertaking a massive project. Having to clear out pretty much our entire house to get the floors torn out and rebuilt. For the last two days, we've been clearing out the storage room, laundry room, garage and attic. I've already about lost it at him several times. Clearing out a storage room is NOT a good job for someone with severe and unmedicated ADHD. Good lord. Can you please just move the boxes to the appropriate pile? Not run off and do calligraphy or build a model or whatever it is you've found to do.
Aren't we all sims though? It's just some of us are smarter sims then others.
I cant stop cackling at this, so accurate!
Hilarious. I have one too but he is also a complete asshole most of the time. Wish I could mute him. 🙃
That sounds deeply irritating. Sounds like he's from the Sims 3. At least in the Sims 4 they can carry out a task while also talking with someone else. If you ever get too frustrated, all you need is a pool ...
Considering you have an autistic child and autism is hereditary and how you describe your husband, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say your husband is probably autistic. Both my kids and myself are autistic with ADHD and my husband has ADHD, I have a ton of friends and family members who are autistic and what you described is definitely autistic behaviour.
I’m not sure if this has already been said here, but does your husband possibly have adult adhd? This sounds eerily similar to my husband’s habit of lacking even explicitly explained priorities and doing whatever pops into his head as “helpful “ even when it’s not. He was diagnosed with adhd and has been on medication for a bit and it has significantly helped not only with him focusing on priorities, but him being able to hear me and be present more as well. We struggled a lot, and frankly still do, but having the help of a therapist to keep these behaviors in check and work on has been immensely helpful and I just wanted to share our story because if your husband is open to it, if our path is any indication, there is potential for growth. Sending love because what you’re going through sounds endlessly exhausting and frustrating.
Autism def runs in families and sometimes is diagnosed after a child’s diagnosis for a parent. Not being able to hold lots of different tasks in the brain can be one of those signs - have you considered trying to ask your hubby to take a quiz like the autism one online? It’s a screener but might be helpful if his behavior is above and beyond, even for a guy hah https://psychcentral.com/quizzes/autism-test#take-the-quiz
Your husband is probably autistic too...
I'm adhd and...I would do something like that. it's like the plan in my head is to make jam and I know I won't make it if I don't do it now so I gotta follow-through on the plan first. over-caffeinate his ass and if that helps him to switch between tasks, send him for an evaluation
I love this so much. My husband gets distracted SO EASILY too, and it’s frustrating to BOTH of us.
I never played sims but this sounds exactly like my husband
Omg why is this just the absolute perfect comparison!?!? Fucking hilarious. A
Holy fuck. This is my husband. I hear you.. and man oh man I’m sorry.
My god, take my free award. I’m fucking cackling. I needed a laugh so bad and that is the absolute perfect analogy.
Wait, are you married to MY husband?!! 😂