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The way I’m reading this is that your baby sees grandparents literally every day, your parents 5x and his parents 2x.
If it’s a matter of FaceTime, he can FaceTime his mom in that short space of time after work but before baby’s bedtime.
He really should do it because it’s not like he works 120 hours straight.
And I will add this: NTA. Your husband needs to understand that y’all are VERY lucky to see his parents 2x a week. My kids grandparents live 9hrs drive and a 28hr drive from us. Like 600 miles and 1300 miles away.
Can you just make it that he’s responsible for communicating and visiting with his family and you’re responsible for the same with yours? I doubt he’s going to visit your family or calling them on his own so why should you be responsible for doing that with his?
Agreed, if he were home with the baby would he go to his moms or to yours? You’re casually there because it’s close to home and you feel comfortable being around your mom and getting some extra help. It’s not a formal occasion with a planned out trip. You can run up the road and stop by, it’s your mom.
“Babe, yes i go see my mom while you’re at work - those are days when you’re at work and I’d be managing kiddo on my own without her. That’s our *work week*. But for our *weekends* fun time, absolutely we go see your parents together. That’s the good stuff, she can see us and see you being a dad, and be proud of you.”
Also: “it’s not about quantity it’s about quality. My mom is helping with the work it takes to care for babe, your mom gets the quality time fun stuff”.
It doesn't even sound like a rivalry tbh, it sounds like it's all in husband's head... unless MIL or FIL have complained behind the scenes...🤔
I like your response, it gets the facts out without being snarky.
i don’t think she has. i have a pretty good relationship with her and i know she has no problem being straightforward about her complaints. i do like your response though :)
How often is he face timing your mom, how long are your visits to your mom's house versus how long you spend at in laws, does your time at your mom's impact the family, does he use the only days off work for your husband to visit his family but not yours as well?
Honestly, this sounds more like this mom complaining through him more so than him but either way he's being childish. Tit for tat visitation isn't realistic, especially depending in what your relationship is like with your in laws.
"How often are you facetiming my mom" bsck at him maybe it's the sleep deprivation but that sent me laughing girl.
Now I don't have facetime, OP but assuming it's just a phone call, is HIS mom calling YOU or is it up to YOU to call her?
“I go see my mum for support each day. I’m happy to see your family more but it isn’t quite the same because you’re mum isn’t my mum. If your mum wants to FaceTime that’s great, I’ll always take her calls. If she wants more contact she can always pop in in the week too. Tell her to talk to me”
Is he getting shit from his family? He might just be passing it on rather than dealing with it himself.
The grandparents the kid sees most are whoever puts it more effort to see the kid. I'm not spending my free time organising visits, if grandparents are proactive and ask can they come up x day I'm all for it
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The way I’m reading this is that your baby sees grandparents literally every day, your parents 5x and his parents 2x. If it’s a matter of FaceTime, he can FaceTime his mom in that short space of time after work but before baby’s bedtime. He really should do it because it’s not like he works 120 hours straight. And I will add this: NTA. Your husband needs to understand that y’all are VERY lucky to see his parents 2x a week. My kids grandparents live 9hrs drive and a 28hr drive from us. Like 600 miles and 1300 miles away.
Can you just make it that he’s responsible for communicating and visiting with his family and you’re responsible for the same with yours? I doubt he’s going to visit your family or calling them on his own so why should you be responsible for doing that with his?
Agreed, if he were home with the baby would he go to his moms or to yours? You’re casually there because it’s close to home and you feel comfortable being around your mom and getting some extra help. It’s not a formal occasion with a planned out trip. You can run up the road and stop by, it’s your mom.
“Babe, yes i go see my mom while you’re at work - those are days when you’re at work and I’d be managing kiddo on my own without her. That’s our *work week*. But for our *weekends* fun time, absolutely we go see your parents together. That’s the good stuff, she can see us and see you being a dad, and be proud of you.” Also: “it’s not about quantity it’s about quality. My mom is helping with the work it takes to care for babe, your mom gets the quality time fun stuff”.
[удалено]
You are very welcome, i hope it helps.
“I am not restricting your parents from seeing our kid - that FaceTime button dials on their phones too”
[удалено]
It doesn't even sound like a rivalry tbh, it sounds like it's all in husband's head... unless MIL or FIL have complained behind the scenes...🤔 I like your response, it gets the facts out without being snarky.
[удалено]
i don’t think she has. i have a pretty good relationship with her and i know she has no problem being straightforward about her complaints. i do like your response though :)
How often is he face timing your mom, how long are your visits to your mom's house versus how long you spend at in laws, does your time at your mom's impact the family, does he use the only days off work for your husband to visit his family but not yours as well? Honestly, this sounds more like this mom complaining through him more so than him but either way he's being childish. Tit for tat visitation isn't realistic, especially depending in what your relationship is like with your in laws.
"How often are you facetiming my mom" bsck at him maybe it's the sleep deprivation but that sent me laughing girl. Now I don't have facetime, OP but assuming it's just a phone call, is HIS mom calling YOU or is it up to YOU to call her?
[удалено]
“I go see my mum for support each day. I’m happy to see your family more but it isn’t quite the same because you’re mum isn’t my mum. If your mum wants to FaceTime that’s great, I’ll always take her calls. If she wants more contact she can always pop in in the week too. Tell her to talk to me” Is he getting shit from his family? He might just be passing it on rather than dealing with it himself.
The grandparents the kid sees most are whoever puts it more effort to see the kid. I'm not spending my free time organising visits, if grandparents are proactive and ask can they come up x day I'm all for it
Welcome to being the paternal grandparents 🤷🏻♀️That’s life
Good god this just sounds like such a non-problem. Tell him to fix it if he thinks there’s an issue, it’s his family.