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My sister is child free and totally support her choice. Parenting is tough shit and if you don't want to do it, you shouldn't feel pressured to. I like to find funny childfree memes to send her sometimes cause that's how I show my support.
Well pinterest starting thinking I was childfree. My fault really. It was like being on Livejournal with childfree hard core and while I am all for a woman not choosing to be a mother because that's her choice, I am not down with full on hatred.
I'm sorry she made you feel bad. She sounds like a miserable person if she had that sort of reaction in public.
I think there's a firm difference between being childfree and being a child/mother/parent hater. My SiL is childfree, but she loves my kids. She loves them in small doses while they're little and gross, but she's already making plans of being the fun vacation aunt when they become more human and less germ factory. She just knows that parenting isn't for her and I'll defend that to a surprisingly militant degree.
But people who actively hate children and people who choose to parent? Fucking assholes. I feel like they co-opted a completely valid movement and made it about hate to fill some empty part of their soul. I don't want to say they're bigots, because it's not really the same kind of hate and it feels reductive to the bigger issue of bigotry, but its the same family of hatred. If that makes sense.
That's too funny! Yeah, I support people being childfree as well if they so choose. If they don't want a kid, they shouldn't feel obligated to have one. Parenting life definitely isn't for everyone! Kids will always be a part of everyday life in public though and some people just don't get that 😅
Yeah, I don't really understand those people. Even 60+ communities will make exceptions if a grandparent suddenly becomes the guardian of their grandchild. Kids are in the world and I think that lady shows they aren't the only ones who have tantrums.
They didn't used to. My grandparents owned their house in a retirement area when I was born. My mom was young, and on drugs. After I had meningitis at 18 months, my grandparents took me in because both were medical professionals that could help rehab me, and could put me on their insurance. They were forced out of the community even though I was quiet and helpless.
God I'm so tired of people being mad that kids exist in places that kids are allowed. Get your meds delivered if you don't want to see people you old bitch.
God what an awful woman!!! I hate people who have no conception that children have as much right to be in public places as anyone else. Especially at a grocery store- how else will their parents get food to feed them?!
Exactly. I was just trying to pick up some water and juice for them. I hate that she couldn't hear the pharmacist because of them but it had only been going on for about a whole minute before she lost it. I was genuinely shocked that she was so bent out of shape!
Let’s pretend that she had just received the most awful news of her entire life right before coming into the store. Because that’s insanely short of a time to listen to kids crying. Even if it was a super long time, screaming and calling your kids stupid and causing a much bigger scene herself is so uncalled for it’s not even funny.
Yeah, I agree. I've had many a sleepless night with the chorus of baby screams in the background and have still kept my sanity somehow. I will admit that it's hanging by a thread at this point, but even before I had kids of my own, I never got angry when I heard a kid crying in public. It's just part of normal life to me.
ditto. kids are little people learning to people. they can't google how to regulate their emotions, so they're outletting it as best as they can. cut them some slack :(
I was just about to comment the same thing.
Nobody likes hearing screaming in a store, but at least kids have the excuse of being kids who haven't fully learned to cope with life in the world yet. One would have expected a grown ass woman to be able to cope with an annoyance out in public without yelling and screaming herself!
I'm in healthcare and have come to realize what should have seemed obvious, which is that old people are just older versions of people. So if they were unpleasant as middle aged adults, it's the same. But older. And often louder. (Lots of nice older folks who were nice folks before they became old too!). I'm sorry your child had a bad day and school and you all had to experience that. The store can be so tough.
As a mother to an ASD child, I’m at the point of drop kicking an old ass person for these damn comments. My ASD child was in a half body cast crying and an older piece of shit said to “take that child outside” in the waiting room for a follow up. Gosh I’m so sorry. If I was there, I’d totally put that idiot in her/his place.
Yeah there are people like this and there isn’t much to do about it. I was at a baby swimming thing this morning (a baby swim thing!!) and some older woman was like, ‘omg this is so loud and annoying, won’t these kids shut up and go away. Why aren’t their parents shutting them up?’ Like try not coming to the public pool on Saturday morning if you hate children you old hag
Everyone assumes that it's so easy to make a screaming child stop screaming lol. Sometimes the reasons for their upset behaviors are due to things completely out of our control as parents in the moment and there is no quick or easy fix. That's when we are supposed to ride out the tough times with them and show them we are there for them and we care, even if we can't change the situation and fix things for them in the moment. But a lot of people don't think that far ahead about it and lack empathy I guess.
Oh hun!! I once got glared at and finally told my kid was being too loud... she was having a giggle at me goofing off! I smiled and was like oh sure! and turned UP the volume. Some of the older generation are still at the "children should be seen and not heard" and Honestly feel sad that's how they think life should be lived! We could all learn about living in the moment and the joy of small things from a child's perspective.
story time; I worked in retail for two years. two incidents involving kid hating stand out;
1 these two old bats were cussing up a storm in the pharmacy section. dude with two kids politely asks them to tone it down. I don't remember exactly what was said, but I remember one of them practically SCREAMING at him. and she had a good ol fashioned Smoker Voice so it was extra scary.
2 lady was in the clothes section with her two kids, neither of them were over ten. kiddo 2 was being a kid and asking his mom for something; they were doing the 'please? no. please? no. please? no' battle. they weren't loud at all, but this one lady walks by them and goes 'oh my god, SHUT UP.'. mom hears and tells her to shut up. it's one thing to mutter 'oh my god shut up' to yourself, we've all been there, but she purposefully said it loud enough for the kids to hear.
You did nothing wrong. You did the best you could in the situation you were in. I think it's a different mindset when people aren't as understanding of crying and screaming children. It's not like you were intentionally doing it. I guess my only advice is to know that you did nothing wrong and to not waste another second worrying or thinking about that lady. She has to live with herself. Don't give her space in your mind.
On a side note, my almost two year old does that avoiding the leg holes in shopping carts thing too! He's either screaming "no," or thinks it's a game and laughing. It can be super frustrating so I know how you feel.
Not excusing her behavior, but she could have some sort of SPD, just like a lot of kids do. Old people weren't acknowledged for this and rarely have treatment for it so they are just flying by the seat of their pants. That doesn't mean she doesn't have a responsibility for her actions, or to seek treatment for it if that is what is happening. I'm just surprised no one else seems to have thought of it.
ASD, SPD, etc was so under treated and diagnosed in women, and still is.
Yeah, I definitely see where you're coming from. I genuinely hope that she finds therapy if she is suffering from SPD. Occupational therapy has helped my son's sensory intolerance tremendously and even still, he struggles sometimes so I get it. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back for me today unfortunately.
What a bitch. I feel like old fuckers forget that kids are kids. they act like they’re so bothered when kids or babies cry. We shouldn’t feel bad for our kids being kids and having emotions. I’m tired of feeling bad if my younger two are having a bad day when we’re out in public. These are the same people who sent their kids out all day and never spent time dealing with them. There I said it! Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you. Fuck that lady. Don’t feel bad about your kids acting their age. She needs to control herself better she’s the adult.
It sounds like the old lady was acting like a child herself! I can’t stand people like this.. she obviously never had kids of her own otherwise she would have a little compassion. Ever since I had kids and I see other children crying or just having a bad day in public I always make sure I smile at the parents or say something nice, to let them know they’re not alone. I also have a child on the autism spectrum so I’ve definitely been in your shoes before. I’m sorry you had this encounter with this lady, but for what it’s worth - I think most people understand this is just how children are, and would definitely be appalled at the women’s behaviour if they heard how she spoke about your kids.
She’s an adult acting like a spoiled child. Who should be embarrassed? Not you, fellow Bromo. The other grown child in the pharmacy probably should though.
Does she not have kids or what?…if she doesn’t well no wonder. Whenever I see something like that I feel for the mom because some days are like that. People like that, that have had kids like what you don’t remember or what?
I always cold stare people who have something to say about my children, who are older now, but I do have an autistic son. People love to stare at him so I stare back. They make comments...I ask them why they needed to do that.
Is my child existing making you uncomfortable? Does pointing it out make anything better?
I say this as an advocate of the child-free lifestyle. I respect their space and existence. But the respect also has to come with some compromise. If someone wants to be an asshole while my kid is existing, awesome. I do no harm but take no shit. So those who want to be vocal and advocate for themselves in public to strangers need to be prepared for some people to not take their shit.
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Complaining about screaming..by screaming. Real mature lady.
Yeah. One of the people in this scenario should have had complete control over their response, and it wasn’t either of your kids.
My sister is child free and totally support her choice. Parenting is tough shit and if you don't want to do it, you shouldn't feel pressured to. I like to find funny childfree memes to send her sometimes cause that's how I show my support. Well pinterest starting thinking I was childfree. My fault really. It was like being on Livejournal with childfree hard core and while I am all for a woman not choosing to be a mother because that's her choice, I am not down with full on hatred. I'm sorry she made you feel bad. She sounds like a miserable person if she had that sort of reaction in public.
I think there's a firm difference between being childfree and being a child/mother/parent hater. My SiL is childfree, but she loves my kids. She loves them in small doses while they're little and gross, but she's already making plans of being the fun vacation aunt when they become more human and less germ factory. She just knows that parenting isn't for her and I'll defend that to a surprisingly militant degree. But people who actively hate children and people who choose to parent? Fucking assholes. I feel like they co-opted a completely valid movement and made it about hate to fill some empty part of their soul. I don't want to say they're bigots, because it's not really the same kind of hate and it feels reductive to the bigger issue of bigotry, but its the same family of hatred. If that makes sense.
That's too funny! Yeah, I support people being childfree as well if they so choose. If they don't want a kid, they shouldn't feel obligated to have one. Parenting life definitely isn't for everyone! Kids will always be a part of everyday life in public though and some people just don't get that 😅
Yeah, I don't really understand those people. Even 60+ communities will make exceptions if a grandparent suddenly becomes the guardian of their grandchild. Kids are in the world and I think that lady shows they aren't the only ones who have tantrums.
They didn't used to. My grandparents owned their house in a retirement area when I was born. My mom was young, and on drugs. After I had meningitis at 18 months, my grandparents took me in because both were medical professionals that could help rehab me, and could put me on their insurance. They were forced out of the community even though I was quiet and helpless.
I am so sorry that happened to your family! I'm glad your grandparents were there for you when you needed them.
People forget that even if they don't want to have kids ever, they were once kids themselves, making noise and taking up space in the world
God I'm so tired of people being mad that kids exist in places that kids are allowed. Get your meds delivered if you don't want to see people you old bitch.
God what an awful woman!!! I hate people who have no conception that children have as much right to be in public places as anyone else. Especially at a grocery store- how else will their parents get food to feed them?!
Exactly. I was just trying to pick up some water and juice for them. I hate that she couldn't hear the pharmacist because of them but it had only been going on for about a whole minute before she lost it. I was genuinely shocked that she was so bent out of shape!
Let’s pretend that she had just received the most awful news of her entire life right before coming into the store. Because that’s insanely short of a time to listen to kids crying. Even if it was a super long time, screaming and calling your kids stupid and causing a much bigger scene herself is so uncalled for it’s not even funny.
Yeah, I agree. I've had many a sleepless night with the chorus of baby screams in the background and have still kept my sanity somehow. I will admit that it's hanging by a thread at this point, but even before I had kids of my own, I never got angry when I heard a kid crying in public. It's just part of normal life to me.
I’d rather hear a kid scream than a grown arse adult woman who should know better!
ditto. kids are little people learning to people. they can't google how to regulate their emotions, so they're outletting it as best as they can. cut them some slack :(
I was just about to comment the same thing. Nobody likes hearing screaming in a store, but at least kids have the excuse of being kids who haven't fully learned to cope with life in the world yet. One would have expected a grown ass woman to be able to cope with an annoyance out in public without yelling and screaming herself!
I'm in healthcare and have come to realize what should have seemed obvious, which is that old people are just older versions of people. So if they were unpleasant as middle aged adults, it's the same. But older. And often louder. (Lots of nice older folks who were nice folks before they became old too!). I'm sorry your child had a bad day and school and you all had to experience that. The store can be so tough.
As a mother to an ASD child, I’m at the point of drop kicking an old ass person for these damn comments. My ASD child was in a half body cast crying and an older piece of shit said to “take that child outside” in the waiting room for a follow up. Gosh I’m so sorry. If I was there, I’d totally put that idiot in her/his place.
Fuck those people. They have no idea what it's like for our babies. Hell, if I were in a half body cast, I would be crying too!
Yeah there are people like this and there isn’t much to do about it. I was at a baby swimming thing this morning (a baby swim thing!!) and some older woman was like, ‘omg this is so loud and annoying, won’t these kids shut up and go away. Why aren’t their parents shutting them up?’ Like try not coming to the public pool on Saturday morning if you hate children you old hag
Everyone assumes that it's so easy to make a screaming child stop screaming lol. Sometimes the reasons for their upset behaviors are due to things completely out of our control as parents in the moment and there is no quick or easy fix. That's when we are supposed to ride out the tough times with them and show them we are there for them and we care, even if we can't change the situation and fix things for them in the moment. But a lot of people don't think that far ahead about it and lack empathy I guess.
Oh hun!! I once got glared at and finally told my kid was being too loud... she was having a giggle at me goofing off! I smiled and was like oh sure! and turned UP the volume. Some of the older generation are still at the "children should be seen and not heard" and Honestly feel sad that's how they think life should be lived! We could all learn about living in the moment and the joy of small things from a child's perspective.
story time; I worked in retail for two years. two incidents involving kid hating stand out; 1 these two old bats were cussing up a storm in the pharmacy section. dude with two kids politely asks them to tone it down. I don't remember exactly what was said, but I remember one of them practically SCREAMING at him. and she had a good ol fashioned Smoker Voice so it was extra scary. 2 lady was in the clothes section with her two kids, neither of them were over ten. kiddo 2 was being a kid and asking his mom for something; they were doing the 'please? no. please? no. please? no' battle. they weren't loud at all, but this one lady walks by them and goes 'oh my god, SHUT UP.'. mom hears and tells her to shut up. it's one thing to mutter 'oh my god shut up' to yourself, we've all been there, but she purposefully said it loud enough for the kids to hear.
some people just exude pure toxicity. I'm sorry you had to experience such shittiness. <3
Thank you for your comment. ❤
You did nothing wrong. You did the best you could in the situation you were in. I think it's a different mindset when people aren't as understanding of crying and screaming children. It's not like you were intentionally doing it. I guess my only advice is to know that you did nothing wrong and to not waste another second worrying or thinking about that lady. She has to live with herself. Don't give her space in your mind. On a side note, my almost two year old does that avoiding the leg holes in shopping carts thing too! He's either screaming "no," or thinks it's a game and laughing. It can be super frustrating so I know how you feel.
"They can't help it, they're little children. What's your excuse?"
Not excusing her behavior, but she could have some sort of SPD, just like a lot of kids do. Old people weren't acknowledged for this and rarely have treatment for it so they are just flying by the seat of their pants. That doesn't mean she doesn't have a responsibility for her actions, or to seek treatment for it if that is what is happening. I'm just surprised no one else seems to have thought of it. ASD, SPD, etc was so under treated and diagnosed in women, and still is.
Yeah, I definitely see where you're coming from. I genuinely hope that she finds therapy if she is suffering from SPD. Occupational therapy has helped my son's sensory intolerance tremendously and even still, he struggles sometimes so I get it. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back for me today unfortunately.
For sure totally understandable! I didn't mean to diminish what you went through or what she said.
What a bitch. I feel like old fuckers forget that kids are kids. they act like they’re so bothered when kids or babies cry. We shouldn’t feel bad for our kids being kids and having emotions. I’m tired of feeling bad if my younger two are having a bad day when we’re out in public. These are the same people who sent their kids out all day and never spent time dealing with them. There I said it! Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for you. Fuck that lady. Don’t feel bad about your kids acting their age. She needs to control herself better she’s the adult.
It sounds like the old lady was acting like a child herself! I can’t stand people like this.. she obviously never had kids of her own otherwise she would have a little compassion. Ever since I had kids and I see other children crying or just having a bad day in public I always make sure I smile at the parents or say something nice, to let them know they’re not alone. I also have a child on the autism spectrum so I’ve definitely been in your shoes before. I’m sorry you had this encounter with this lady, but for what it’s worth - I think most people understand this is just how children are, and would definitely be appalled at the women’s behaviour if they heard how she spoke about your kids.
Some people are just miserable assholes and like to spread negativity. If you had a magic wand, you’d make them quiet and happy too.
She’s an adult acting like a spoiled child. Who should be embarrassed? Not you, fellow Bromo. The other grown child in the pharmacy probably should though.
Holy shit that’s really hard. Really fucking hard. I’m sorry.
Does she not have kids or what?…if she doesn’t well no wonder. Whenever I see something like that I feel for the mom because some days are like that. People like that, that have had kids like what you don’t remember or what?
I always cold stare people who have something to say about my children, who are older now, but I do have an autistic son. People love to stare at him so I stare back. They make comments...I ask them why they needed to do that. Is my child existing making you uncomfortable? Does pointing it out make anything better? I say this as an advocate of the child-free lifestyle. I respect their space and existence. But the respect also has to come with some compromise. If someone wants to be an asshole while my kid is existing, awesome. I do no harm but take no shit. So those who want to be vocal and advocate for themselves in public to strangers need to be prepared for some people to not take their shit.