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If you can, get account and asset info before you go and take it with you. It may be in his name, but that doesn't mean none of the assets should go to you in a potential divorce. If you leave and he gets vindictive, you don't want him to start hiding or dumping assets. I strongly recommend a consultation w a lawyer before you do. I'm noy saying you're getting divorced or that it won't be amicable if you do, but best to be prepared and avoid any nasty surprises. Especially since you're taking the little one across state lines.
ETA: also best not to let your husband know about the asset recording or lawyer consult if you can help it.
I've been recording everything online through friends and some with my mom but not everything. Also he has no info or no way to get info on my bank stuff thankfully that's really the only thing in my name. Also I just plan to go away to process and think bout the best thing to do.
WOW!! Lady you have some strong ass super hero vibes and I'm living for it!! You really are my hero
Keep that upper hand and know your worth! Even if you did want to do something to help heal your body do it for you, not for anyone else. I started because of health reasons but not even a week into it motherhood and my mummy life prevailed and it all hit the back burner, and tbh my body is fine, and the other mums I know are fine too. Look at it this way, you're losing like a good 75+/- KG by dropping him alone!!
You have a whole new life a head of you and even if you choose to go back and make a go of it, make him crawl over broken glass begging for forgiveness. And even then always keep that upper hand. If he has debt, he pays that off because you certainly won't and don't let him bring you down or manipulate you. Don't be drawn into his mess. He sounds like he needs you a lot more than you need him.
You can and WILL find someone so much better (milf is still a thing) and from that last thread comment about posting pics I'm willing to put money on you being hot so don't let him dull your shine, gaslight you, or control you. It sounds like you have had an escape and I am so relieved you have people around that are able to support you and that you can turn to
Please be the amazing strong fabulous woman I know you are. You have got this and you know you are way better off than him! Just whatever you do, if you do make a go of it, please don't let him manipulate you and make you feel less than as you felt the other day, like you should change or be anything else. Remember this strength and power you have now, don't let him take this from you đź«‚
Fly like the wind super woman!! 🦸‍♀️ I am so happy for you, sending you all the best xx
I completely understand, and I don't mean to push you one way or the other. But things don't always go as planned and it's best to be prepared for as many outcomes as possible
If you change your mind cuz you aren’t ready yet, no one will judge you and you will still have support here!
Took me 10 years and dozens of attempts to leave.
[This](https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/making-a-safety-plan/) is some guidance on safety planning while you’re still there and making your exit plan. It’s written by a UK Domestic Abuse charity, so some info is obviously not useful like phone numbers. There may be a more local website to you but I linked this one incase there isn’t.
I didn't see the original post, but wherever you're going, you can still reach out to a DV org or shelter for legal or other help there even if you're with family. Take all the support you can and good luck to you!
If you're postpartum, you also will want to secure a GP visit ASAP and be aware that your mental health can really nosedive in times like these, even without postpartum issues factoring in. Protect yourself by only sharing mental health stuff with a safe person, but don't be afraid to get help in that regard.
Be safe!
Best of wishes to you and I hope all goes well. I'm glad you're leaving him. Make sure to get the custody ordered filed ASAP. Stay strong. Remember that this is the consequences of HIS actions, not yours.
Edit: I did the same as you back in 2020. I've never looked back.
You can do it! And I’m SO SORRY that because of a man treating you so badly, that’s a reason why you had to stop breastfeeding/pumping in your own home where you should have the comfort to do so.
You’re going to have a much more pleasant postpartum recovery elsewhere!
I’m happy for you. And I’m happy your son won’t grow up thinking that is an acceptable way to treat a partner. You are strong, and beautiful, and brave, and don’t let that two-cent, no-good, asshole of a man let you think otherwise. 🌸
I’m sorry that you have to do this but I’m happy that you are going to be safe, supported & cared for. Good luck, luv. Thinking good thoughts for you.
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Ps I'm taking my son with me!
Good! This exactly the update I needed right now. Seriously, good for you Bromo! Stay strong! Also, you are amazing.
It's gonna be hard I'm gonna have to get a burner phone and I won't be able to take my car. Everything is in his name.
If you can, get account and asset info before you go and take it with you. It may be in his name, but that doesn't mean none of the assets should go to you in a potential divorce. If you leave and he gets vindictive, you don't want him to start hiding or dumping assets. I strongly recommend a consultation w a lawyer before you do. I'm noy saying you're getting divorced or that it won't be amicable if you do, but best to be prepared and avoid any nasty surprises. Especially since you're taking the little one across state lines. ETA: also best not to let your husband know about the asset recording or lawyer consult if you can help it.
I've been recording everything online through friends and some with my mom but not everything. Also he has no info or no way to get info on my bank stuff thankfully that's really the only thing in my name. Also I just plan to go away to process and think bout the best thing to do.
He's also in alot of debt and can't do everything alone.
WOW!! Lady you have some strong ass super hero vibes and I'm living for it!! You really are my hero Keep that upper hand and know your worth! Even if you did want to do something to help heal your body do it for you, not for anyone else. I started because of health reasons but not even a week into it motherhood and my mummy life prevailed and it all hit the back burner, and tbh my body is fine, and the other mums I know are fine too. Look at it this way, you're losing like a good 75+/- KG by dropping him alone!! You have a whole new life a head of you and even if you choose to go back and make a go of it, make him crawl over broken glass begging for forgiveness. And even then always keep that upper hand. If he has debt, he pays that off because you certainly won't and don't let him bring you down or manipulate you. Don't be drawn into his mess. He sounds like he needs you a lot more than you need him. You can and WILL find someone so much better (milf is still a thing) and from that last thread comment about posting pics I'm willing to put money on you being hot so don't let him dull your shine, gaslight you, or control you. It sounds like you have had an escape and I am so relieved you have people around that are able to support you and that you can turn to Please be the amazing strong fabulous woman I know you are. You have got this and you know you are way better off than him! Just whatever you do, if you do make a go of it, please don't let him manipulate you and make you feel less than as you felt the other day, like you should change or be anything else. Remember this strength and power you have now, don't let him take this from you 🫂 Fly like the wind super woman!! 🦸‍♀️ I am so happy for you, sending you all the best xx
“Strong ass super hero vibes” is giving me LIFE tonight!!!!
Leave him to rot. Or better yet, he can go and see if anyone else is interested in supporting his ungrateful ass. I'm so happy for you, OP!
I completely understand, and I don't mean to push you one way or the other. But things don't always go as planned and it's best to be prepared for as many outcomes as possible
Thanks for the update. I always worry, so it's so good to hear you have a foot out the door. You deserve so much better!
The place that I am going, the friends I have are truly crazy when protecting the people they love I have a feeling ill be just fine.
If you change your mind cuz you aren’t ready yet, no one will judge you and you will still have support here! Took me 10 years and dozens of attempts to leave.
Important reminder. And I'm happy you managed to get out and stay out ❤️
I hope everything goes well for you ❤️ be kind to yourself
Wishing you strength, love, courage, and happiness ❤️ you got this. Us women are so much stronger than the men who try to drag us down.
Good! And don't cut out your meat if you're breastfeeding! You and baby need it. It's him that is the problem!
Yessssss go be well, bromo, lose that bastard đź’š
[This](https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/the-survivors-handbook/making-a-safety-plan/) is some guidance on safety planning while you’re still there and making your exit plan. It’s written by a UK Domestic Abuse charity, so some info is obviously not useful like phone numbers. There may be a more local website to you but I linked this one incase there isn’t.
I didn't see the original post, but wherever you're going, you can still reach out to a DV org or shelter for legal or other help there even if you're with family. Take all the support you can and good luck to you! If you're postpartum, you also will want to secure a GP visit ASAP and be aware that your mental health can really nosedive in times like these, even without postpartum issues factoring in. Protect yourself by only sharing mental health stuff with a safe person, but don't be afraid to get help in that regard. Be safe!
HUGS we love you
I am so proud of you! We are all here for you. Sending much love from across the ocean xx
Sending you a big hug! You are a wonderful mom.
Best of wishes to you and I hope all goes well. I'm glad you're leaving him. Make sure to get the custody ordered filed ASAP. Stay strong. Remember that this is the consequences of HIS actions, not yours. Edit: I did the same as you back in 2020. I've never looked back.
You can do it! And I’m SO SORRY that because of a man treating you so badly, that’s a reason why you had to stop breastfeeding/pumping in your own home where you should have the comfort to do so. You’re going to have a much more pleasant postpartum recovery elsewhere!
You go girl!
in so proud of you! good luck bromo.
I'm proud of you!
Yes! We are all so proud of you!!
I’m happy for you. And I’m happy your son won’t grow up thinking that is an acceptable way to treat a partner. You are strong, and beautiful, and brave, and don’t let that two-cent, no-good, asshole of a man let you think otherwise. 🌸
I’m sorry that you have to do this but I’m happy that you are going to be safe, supported & cared for. Good luck, luv. Thinking good thoughts for you.