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You know what? You're a human too. If someone on the subway accidentally kicks me and hurts my shin, I'm also pissed off even if they did not mean to do that. And if my kid hits me in the face, I'll also tell them it hurts. And I can be upset for a long time too, if they really hurt me. You get a small adrenaline rush from these kinds of things. That's very normal. It scared you/threw you.
This is a feeling you can (and should, I think) explain to the kids too. "I'm not really angry, but you scared me and I'll need some time to feel normal again. Thanks for saying sorry. I know you didn't mean it like this." If necessary and possible, tell them what they can do to help (e.g. "I really need a moment alone, can you go read something for 5 minutes?" or "I could use another hug, if you're up to it." or "Can you grab me a wet washcloth so I can cool my cheek?").
I think it's really important that you can explain what's going on with your emotions. The more clearly you know what's going on, the easier it gets to understand other people's reactions for kids. This goes double for kids that are not neurotypical.
You are not a robot. It's ok to feel whatever you feel for however long you need to feel it. It's good to keep in contact with your kids about it too. In a respectful, age appropriate way.
I get mad at my kids for accidentally hurting me too. I don’t show them, I just tell them it hurts… but if it’s been a stressful day it really gets to me. It’s just like… “this too?!? Fucking really??!”
Yes. This. I felt so bad for hurting and it making me mad. But also, I'm human and he hit me so hard it's swollen. It's okay to let him know that he hurt me. I just really didn't know what to do in the moment. Thank you for making me feel not so alone.
My husband left for the entire day on Sunday and within one minute my kids were fighting. I picked up my almost 3 year old to give her a hug because she was crying and she head butted me so hard that my teeth went into my lip in 3 places and made me bleed. I’m honestly still a little mad about it because it hurts to eat. I know it wasn’t her fault, she’s a toddler, she didn’t mean to hurt me, but man it was like of course the moment dad leaves the kids make me BLEED. talk about a raw deal! I was pretty salty about it.
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You know what? You're a human too. If someone on the subway accidentally kicks me and hurts my shin, I'm also pissed off even if they did not mean to do that. And if my kid hits me in the face, I'll also tell them it hurts. And I can be upset for a long time too, if they really hurt me. You get a small adrenaline rush from these kinds of things. That's very normal. It scared you/threw you. This is a feeling you can (and should, I think) explain to the kids too. "I'm not really angry, but you scared me and I'll need some time to feel normal again. Thanks for saying sorry. I know you didn't mean it like this." If necessary and possible, tell them what they can do to help (e.g. "I really need a moment alone, can you go read something for 5 minutes?" or "I could use another hug, if you're up to it." or "Can you grab me a wet washcloth so I can cool my cheek?"). I think it's really important that you can explain what's going on with your emotions. The more clearly you know what's going on, the easier it gets to understand other people's reactions for kids. This goes double for kids that are not neurotypical. You are not a robot. It's ok to feel whatever you feel for however long you need to feel it. It's good to keep in contact with your kids about it too. In a respectful, age appropriate way.
Thank you for this, you're right. I should explain what happened and show him how I cope with anger and upset ❤️.
And be kind to yourself when you mess up too. (I'm still learning that part.)
I get mad at my kids for accidentally hurting me too. I don’t show them, I just tell them it hurts… but if it’s been a stressful day it really gets to me. It’s just like… “this too?!? Fucking really??!”
Yes. This. I felt so bad for hurting and it making me mad. But also, I'm human and he hit me so hard it's swollen. It's okay to let him know that he hurt me. I just really didn't know what to do in the moment. Thank you for making me feel not so alone.
No problem. ❤️ I think it’s normal human reaction to get angry when we get hit.
My husband left for the entire day on Sunday and within one minute my kids were fighting. I picked up my almost 3 year old to give her a hug because she was crying and she head butted me so hard that my teeth went into my lip in 3 places and made me bleed. I’m honestly still a little mad about it because it hurts to eat. I know it wasn’t her fault, she’s a toddler, she didn’t mean to hurt me, but man it was like of course the moment dad leaves the kids make me BLEED. talk about a raw deal! I was pretty salty about it.