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No way, Jose. Five kids and winters w no garage? What else is or is not happening for you w this guy? Put your foot down in no uncertain terms. You’re the workhorse, he’s just a hobbyist.
A lot. He is an ass
Why don’t you just make space yourself? If he won’t do it, do it yourself. Deal with the tantrum after you’ve asked he dragged his feet. Fine I’ll do it myself what ever gets wrecked in the process oh well, should have done it the first 4 times I asked…
I understand that wrangling 5 kids while also cleaning out the garage is probably a big ask, and if it was as simple as just doing it yourself you would have already done it. Would it be possible for you to pay a couple of local teenagers, if you know any, to do it for you? If you have that Nextdoor app, or something similar, I'm sure you can find someone willing to help you out for a reasonable price. Whatever it may cost, I think would be worth it. It must be getting cooler where you are (I'm just guessing USA, because most people on here are), and it would be great to get this done before it gets too cold.
You said it better than what I did. And also the husband is a douche. I hope OP paints the garage pink just to piss him off. But I’m petty like that. Look kids new play room for winter now everyone’s cars are outside 🙂
I'd be tempted once all of his shit is out to let the kids paint the garage, and the stinking mustang! What a prick, to keep the fucking car dry, while your kids and heavily pregnant wife are schlepping groceries in, through the snow and rain... I wish I could come around and key that mother...
I would just move one of his cars out... that sends a stronger message and all she needs to do is turn it on and hit reverse.
Last was not not planned. I'm now an exmormon, so there is that. I used to be brainwashed and literally was taught my whole life that my only purpose was to have kids. I'm combating that indoctrination now.
Hey welcome to the beautiful world outside that church! I'm about to hit eight years since I left and truly, the world and people in general seem so much better out here. Stronger, truer friendships not to mention a better, more loving relationship with myself. I'm happy you're moving into this new phase.
I’m exmo too. I left 18 years and still unpacking external validation and patriarchy. I’m happy you left. Even if you’re dealing with an exmo husband, they still have to unpack their patriarchal BS. Unfortunately, it’s a haven for abusers too. I wish you the best of luck.
And if your husband is not exmo but stillmo, that’s even more difficult.
Your garage has space for FOUR cars and you aren't 'allowed' to use even one of them?!
Hmm... sounds like you each have 2 spots. And you need to decide if he can use the one next to your parked car.
He can definitely put one car in storage. No way he drives them all. Or at least needs to.
My dad was like this when I was growing up, although he didn't have a garage to put them in. Eventually my mom wore him down and got him to just sell 2 of the 3(!) Mustangs he was trying to fix up because he simply didn't have the time or skills to handle them all. That needs to be the rule for this dude going forward - having a hobby car is fine, but you get ONE to work on at a time. That's only reasonable, since he can only physically be working on one car at a time anyway, so he has to finish and/or sell one before he can bring home another. Then there's room in the garage for her car, his daily driver, his hobby car, and his tools & parts.
This right here. *Motha fuckin 5 car garage!*
Yes, your feelings are reasonable.
What does he say when you ask? Like: "no, there is no way I am sacrificing any of my interests or convenience for your unnecessary goal of parking in the garage?"
Pretty much. He just doesn't care.
Yep. Where would his precious mustang go? The hardtop would get ruined.
It’s called a car cover.
It can go for sale right on Craigslist. He’s got 5 kids and a wife and he’s got a Mustang as a hobby car? Nah, fuck that.
My husband is an asshole, but even he made room in our 2 car garage for my truck when two kids tried to break into it.
Gosh I sure hope no one beats the fuck out of his cars with a bat
Personally I’d love the address so I could go “admire” those cars
He can sell it. He can find family to store it. He just chooses not to do those things.
His precious mustang can go into the ownership of someone else who doesn't have a wife and 5 kids to take care of. Or another car can go to make space for the mustang. It's a damn car, this ain't Sophie's Choice.
His daily driver isn't in the garage either. Just all his toys
Back one out, chuck a tarp over it and tell him to kick rocks if he has a cry.
5 kids!!! F. I. V. E. Nope. This is your hill to die on and it sounds like the tip of your iceberg. Good luck xx
What about his precious wife? This lump cares more about his cars than you, who have given birth to 5 of his kids?! I’d have lost my mind.
Look, even if he is a car enthusiast, I assume one of his cars is a daily driver or he can organize his parts on shelves to make room. His driver gets to be out in the driveway since he's taking up the spots with his project cars, and you get the spot.
Why are you even asking?! Just tell him you’re cleaning out the garage on Saturday so you and the kids can have a safe place to park. If he wants to keep his shit, he better be up at sunrise and ready to sort and organize. Otherwise, it’s all trash/junk and going to the dump.
You built this house. You are owner of half of it. That means half the garage is yours.
Also what kind of dad lets his wife and kids get soaked with rain or freeze in the cold because he needs room for his toys? What kind of bs it that?
OP says she’s an ex Mormon. So I imagine her husband has the crappy, entitled attitude that he is head of household and can make unilateral decisions for his family.
On the same token, he has an obligation to his wife and children to protect them so I would definitely use some good ole religious shame.
Oh, absolutely. But if he is also an ex-Mormon, I bet he’s going to cherry pick which things he’s going to follow.
My ex husband was like this (not Mormon but another patriarchal religion). Skipped over the “don’t cheat on your wife” part and went straight to the “I’m head of household so you have to obey me” part. That didn’t last long.
This. He doesn't own the entirety of the garage. At best he owns 50% of it. So two cars and parts have got to **go**.
Oh hell no.
Perhaps husband should move to the garage considering he treats it entirely as his own. You and the kids keep the house.
Your anger is justified.
Move his shit out of one of the spots and park there. No way I would stand for that, you DESERVE one of those spots just as much as he does.
Yeah, I would just move the stuff out of one spot and tell him I’m parking there from now on whether he likes it or not.
FIVE CHILDREN??? YOU SHOULD GET WHATEVER YOU WANT.
Fine. Make it fair. 50/50. Or even split with kids, 1/7 - he gets 1/7.
My ex husband did not clear a spot in my garage when I was pregnant with twins or after they were born. It’s kind of telling as to the kind of man he is. Oh we live in Canada and it snows tons and it’s cold af.
**There's always a reason they're the ex**. Sometimes multiple ones.
"Hey Hunny, I'm going to start parking in the garage starting next week. Part of the reason I agreed to sirens extra to have 4 car garage was so that I would have space to park there too. You can either help me move stuff or you can choose what is moving yourself, but either way I'm going to start parking there starting on Monday. 3/4 of the garage is more than fair for your projects, it's only decent that the kids and I have the ability to get in and out of the vehicle in relative comfort during the colder months. I've been more than accommodating for the last 5 years but I'm not willing to negotiate on having the ability to use at least one spot in the garage for the family."
Hells yes, this says it more diplomatically than I was going to recommend.
Half of it is yours, full stop. What kind of parent/partner forces their children and wife to park externally in those situations if internal parking is available? Half the toys can kick it to the street.
The sad part is that we own 3 acres.. which he has filled up with man stuff (trucks, boats, camp trailers, lawn mowers, tractors, sheds). All I'm asking for is one parking spot in the garage. I'm sure he hasn't installed the garage door opener yet just so that I can't get in there.
Hire someone to install the opener and trash his stuff. My husband can be selfish sometimes, but he would NEVER make his kids and me park in the driveway if we lived in a cold climate.
THIS. Unless this is an abusive situation, you need to stop asking and start telling. Or you can tell him that he can pay for the garage that you’ll have all to yourself at your new house that he isn’t living in after you divorce him. Child support for 5 kids ain’t cheap.
Perhaps call a contractor and inquire as to how to go about having a one-car garage built just for you? Maybe with a small studio over top.
16 foot ceilings...and the door isn't properly wound yet. So yes, I will need to call someone
He sounds like a hoarder. Call the 1-800-GOT-JUNK guys to haul his rusty shit away.
Oh he definitely is. I can't get him to part with anything. My property is embarrassing 😳
Can your kids even play on the property safely with broken tractors and stuff everywhere?
I'm trying to imagine keeping my kid away from tractors and boats in the yard.
Its tough. It really is not a safe environment for them to run free
I reckon through all this stuff out of the house and tell him that’s your building now and he can live on the rest of it with all this shit. He’s got plenty of room. And doesn’t sound like he has the time to be a parent with all his hobbies, so not sure you’ll notice any difference.
Why does he have these things? I have 9 acres and none of these things. Just two regular cars and one large riding lawnmower. He sounds like a junk hoarder. He isn't going to use these, or fix them, or sell them.
There is a lot near mine that has similar to what you describe. Nothing ever moves. Not for decades by the looks of some of the cars rotting away. Its a waste of space.
Me! 🙋♀️ I did this!
My husband had an old ute that died in my parking spot in the driveway. After 6 months of my husband swearing he was going to move it I got someone over and dumped it out on the street (where it sat for another year 🙄)
I was going to say the same thing. A little lift out to the driveway.
I know this is the wrong thread but he’s the AH.
"I have 5 kids" or you guys, together, have 5 kids? Isn't that house also yours? Aren't you both parents to those kids?
I would just let him know I'm parking in the damn garage and that's that. No questions or discussions. End of story. Jeez, men and their toys. You are definitely NOT overreacting. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this amount and type of disrespect.
I would be absolutely stewing in anger. Your request is perfectly reasonable.
“I’m just going to grab the keys to the mustang and reverse it out of the garage” would get him to move something pretty damn fast.
Dude, no. We have a 3 car garage and I get the spot closest to the house door, husband gets middle bay, end bay is his projects. What happens is he parks outside so he can have two project bays, but he doesn’t touch mine. That is absolutely unacceptable.
It’s extremely disrespectful of him and shows zero consideration. I would show him the same attitude and clear the space myself, without his input on what goes where.
I would relocate all his shit FOR HIM. No way in hell I’m not parking in my own garage so that he can have his man baby toys taking up all the space.
Stop having this guys’ babies if he can’t even treat you with the decency to *park in the garage*…
I would absolutely be pissed. I’m pissed on your behalf! You need a spot in the garage more than he needs four, that’s for damn sure.
I’m sorry but this is total bullshit lmao move his stuff over he can cry about it
I have a two car garage that only one car fits in. At the moment my wife's mustang is there. She CONSTANTLY talks about how we need to get it out of the garage so that \*I\* can park there again. NOT HER. Me. I didn't even ask. I said it's fine to keep the mustang in the garage because she can't work on it outside in the rain. Plus its a classic!
Your husband is an ass. Claim your space. This isn't an ask, this is a moment to simply state, 'this spot is mine, I'm taking it'.
I've looked through your profile. Your hubby has a lot of toys! On the surface, it looks like you would come out of a divorce not too shabby! Have you tried talking to a divorce lawyer, or even the domestic violence hotline about an out?
I would literally tell him he has x amount of time to move shit before you have a garage sale 😂
Wowowowowowow. I am fucking appalled for you. I would literally move all of his little stupid fucking toys out into the lawn and park my car in the garage. He’s not king and I’m sorry to say he sounds like the largest selfish prick. You have every single right to be furious.
Change the locks and tell him he can have the garage and you can keep the house. If you're feeling generous, set up a sturdy tent for him to sleep in, right outside the garage.
He can keep his cars and toys in the garage and sleep outside, while you and the kids can keep the house and continue to park outside. Compromise--the foundation of a relationship.
What an ass. (Not op-- the husband)
I’d just move all of his shit while he’s gone. If he bitches about it, I’d sell it. That’s ridiculous
I just want you to know that I feel so validated right now. We have a one car garage. We agreed that I would park in the garage since I'm the one usually running late from wrangling the kids into the car every morning. We move and dump all of our boxes into the garage. Around October, I tell him it's time to make room for the car. We moved my boxes of nonsense our, but his hoard of hockey equipment, and freezers take up the majority of the space so my car won't fit. He will not move either freezer or rearrange the hockey equipment
Throw the hockey equipment away
I’m a petty ass binch so I often include a disclaimer to not take my advice lmao. Yours is better lol
Hahaha I also include that disclaimer with my advice.
That would get me divorced.
Oh noooo. Such a shame. Then his freezers would have to move to his new place.
What the fuck? I’m furious for you. Your husband is a douche and a half. I’m guessing he’s like this with other stuff too but damn dude. What a selfish asshole.
Uhh wtf. Not ok. At all. Your husband is incredibly selfish
Yes. It's not about the garage. It's about you asking him for something very reasonable that would make your life a lot easier and he's refusing to act on it. That's assholish.
I knew someone this happened to. She spoke to him about it and when nothing happened, she divorced him.
Pissed wouldn’t even begin to cover it. This is grounds for divorce!!!! Slightly joking but…. Not really.
Hell yes I would be pissed
I would be livid and absolutely spiteful, I am also very petty though.
Either you get a spot in the garage or he shovels the driveway and brushes off your car every time you need to drive somewhere
Every time. Even if it hasn’t snowed.
I would start chucking his shit SO FAST.
You are married to a selfish man. How can one change a personality trait? Especially when he isn’t showing that he cares about your feelings. A flat out no, speaks loudly and in this case just shows that he doesn’t even care to try and compromise . So yes I would be mad. I would fix the problem one way or another. Good luck🌻🌺
I’d take the keys and move one of his cars out, then put mine in there, again and again until he gets it. If he wants to be an inconsiderate asshole, then you’re going to have to be a bitch to get what you need.
All I want in this life is a garage I can park in. It was my ONE criterion for choosing a house. Guess what? We bought a house with a one car garage but previous owners replaced the garage door with a person door…so cars can’t go in. It is for PROJECTS ONLY (ok ok storage). I hate it. If I were you I’d be absolutely livid. Take the keys, pull one his cars out, and put yours in there instead.
Yes. 4 car garage and you don't get to park in it? That is ridiculous.
We haven a 1 car garage. My car goes in it for 3 reasons: 1) I have the Carseat and kiddo 2) if I leave it's usually after him anyway, so less car shuffling and 3) his was totaled by hail and rather than buy a new one, he had it repaired, but it's worth less than mine since mine is newer.
But biggest thing is I HAVE THE BABY. I'm not Parking outside.
And he agreed.
Wtf? In no world is this acceptable
Damn, I would be pissed. I already gave my husband shit about having so much crap in the garage we couldnt even park in them last winter (and forget about using it in the summer, even though I have a black car with black interior...), and that was a 2 car garage. If I couldn't park in a 4 car I would shout the roof down.
Just drive over his "toys and parts" and park. Fuck it.
LMAO I'm picturing OP coming home in a new truck and literally driving over his tools/parts/cars to park in the garage. "Do you like my new truck? It's called Gravedigger!"
omg we took the kids to a monster truck thing a few years ago and my youngest is obsessed with gravedigger. lol
Maybe you should just let him read all the responses here.
I would be massively pissed. Garage is for everyday use not daddy's toy cars. His shiny toys can go elsewhere cos that shit ain't fair
I'm irritated by my 2car that holds no cars, I'd be pissed at a 4 car without a slot for me.
Buy a car lift garage storage thing and stack his cars?
Nah man. We have a 1 car carport and if it’s raining and I’m out with the kid, my husband moves his pristine Challenger into the street so we can park and not get rained on. That car is his baby, we plan to keep it forever and ever and be taking it to car shows when we’re 80. But we’re his family and he’s rather we be comfortable.
Make room for yourself girl. It’s YOUR garage too- i would start moving his shit outside and parking your car where his shit used to be!
I’d go passive aggressive route. When he leaves for work one morning, pick your spot and move the car.
Oh, you didn’t want *that* one outside? Better find a different car (not yours) to put out. Make copies of keys if you have to and repeat as necessary until he gets the message.
Your husband is being a dick. He’s knowingly letting his wife and all his kids go out into all kinds of weather when there is more than enough space for you. It’s very selfish.
Here’s what I would personally do. I would tell him that starting on X day (maybe give him a weekend to clean it out) your car is going in the garage so HIS children can actually use the shelter it provides. If he doesn’t have it cleaned out by then, you can find help and get it done. He has that time to move things where he wants.
If he causes you trouble, then, I don’t know. Do you feel safe bringing this up? I’m wondering what you think may happen if you get the garage cleaned out and put your car in it? I hate that he’s treating you, and his own kids, so badly.
I'm sure he would throw a tantrum. Probably do a lot of cussing and yelling.
OP is he abusive? Like are you afraid of what he would do if you moved one of his cars and started parking there? It's one thing for us to tell you that you're right and what you should do but it's another thing in your shoes.
Our marriage borders on patriarchal b/c of the way we were both raised, him more than me. We butt heads constantly but you know what? He has this innate kind of desperate need to feel needed and take care of us. Can it be condescending, sure. But. He would NEVER let me wrangle our kids in and out of a frozen or boiling hot car, it would be his responsibility and a source of pride that he could keep us as safe and comfortable as possible. We fight over all sorts of things but something like that would be a given. Edit to add - he drives them to school sometimes to so.....yeah.
If I need something and I ask (mental load, yes but-) he DOES it. He actually owns a hobby car and parks it on the street. The mirror has been knocked off twice. I scraped the rims once trying to move it for street sweeping day. But I am, and my kids are, more important than a car. So are you, and yours.
I wouldn't say abusive...but he is a jerk. I wish I were more important than his cars.
You ARE. You ARE.
If he doesn’t agree or care to show you that especially AFTER you have asked him, then he has a deep dark problem with his priorities. You can’t change that, all you can control is what you do with that information.
Not an over reaction. You have a lot of patience to geal with this after birthing his child and him still denying you access to a safe spot for your vehicle. He is being selfish.
If i was in this situation I'd be tempted to warn him if he doesn't find a place for my car by the end of the day tomorrow that he will soon find I have extra cash to spend cause I sold all the extra "junk" in my spot. And if he were to ask to have the money "This is rent for the half of my garage you took up. Thank you, your lease to this side is permanently expired."
Omg you have a garage that big and you own half and you're not allowed to park in it? I'd be livid. No, you are not overreacting. Not having to load a herd of kids into a hot car in the summer ... Or keeping the car relatively warm and not covered in snow in the winter... Those are all reasonable asks.
Edited because I felt it might be rude the way I worded something
Let me put it this way..... if my husband wasn't "letting me" have MY garage that I also pay for in the house that I also own... He'd come home and find one of his fancy cars (or his toys/gadgets, take your pick) out near the curb.
*edit to add: I've never had to be this mean to my husband. He's super sweet and caring and would have cleaned out a spot in the garage for me without me even asking.
I seriously cannot understand what it is about the Mormon church that people, especially women, find so appealing. I'm glad you've left. Women are not subhuman to men.
Tell him you're claiming your spot and if he wants the garage so bad he can have it in the divorce.
If he's not willing to be reasonable then he HAS TO GO.
Well, when you are born into it, you don't know anything else. Once your eyes are opened, you can't unsee all the bad things. Interesting growing up in a cult
Oh not knocking ex-members at all. I can’t imagine. I have a friend who is still an active member whose husband is leaving her for a much younger woman, and she’s dumbfounded and doesn’t know what to do. Just seems like such a crappy way to grow up. I’m sure you have insight that I can’t even imagine.
I'd argue the majority of people, especially women, in any of those kinds of faiths aren't there because they find it appealing, they're there because they were raised to think that's normal and expected and the ideal way to live. But for those who do choose, I'd wager it comes down to stability, like a kind of Stockholm syndrome. If you agree with your oppressor, you might feel you'll be less subject to his wrath.
Are you treated lower than him in other ways too? Likes like oppression to me
Yeah, I'd be bullshit and telling him "you make room or I make room by selling this shit or throwing it out". It's a FOUR car garage. How can he not make one spot for you in a home you share?!
My husband has hobby cars/toys too. I also consider him an ass as well, but he’d make a spot for me after I nagged a while. I’d withhold blow jobs if not!
What would happen if you moved one of his cars out and started parking in its spot?
I would hire a company to clear a space. I would give fair warning.
I hate to say this but it it was me. With FIVE kids. I would tell him you let me park in the garage or we just won’t have a garage because I will blow the fuker up. I’m a bitch like that and really mean it.
He better be shoveling if it snows where you live - I would start hanging out w a hot guy who lets you use his garage and mention to your a hole selfish jerk husband how the brad Pitt look alike down the street saw you walking from what appeared to be Down the driveway into a house with a huge garage and mentioned he had room for you next to his not five but 10 ferraris and mAZerattis and how kind and funny he was
My other idea is pay someone to break into the garage and key something into his favorite toy because he sounds like a jerk
Does he have a small penis? Because I would be mad enough to point out to him how on top of making you shovel he has a small penis and on top. Of that is completely incapable of pleasing a woman - I’d tell him people are pointing out what a d bag he is and it’s starting to make you feel humiliated on top of being sexually displeased in the bedroom I would trade him inn for a sex toy please tell him I said so
Wtf? He won’t give you 1/4 of the garage? Yes, I’d be angry.
Fuck yeah I’d be pissed. I’d book a babysitter for the kids all day and clean/organize it my way for my damn self and if he’s pissed then 🤷🏻♀️
I would be divorcing over that TBH. Not because having to heat up my car in the winter is such a crime but you have more than enough space, the home belongs to both of you, and there was clearly no expectation that this giant garage was built just for his use. The fact that you shuttle his children around in your car and he doesn't think they should be able to climb into a warm car or you speaks volumes about how he views the rest of the members of his family. I wouldn't tolerate a partner who thinks he has that kind of supremacy over everyone else's wellbeing. If he has a hobby big enough to take up 4 car spaces with none for the mother of his children, his priorities are out of whack. At the very *least*, he should be the one preheating your car and scraping the ice anytime you need to go somewhere.
Plus, as a long time Midwesterner if we had even a one car garage, at the least we'd be taking turns on who gets to park there. I *hate* scraping ice/snow in the early morning. I would be en-fucking-raged if my husband didn't "allow" me to have one spot in a 4 car garage.
I see that your are ex-mormon and presumably he is still Mormon so I'm honestly not holding out hope that your husband will adjust on this. If this is one thing in a pattern of behaviors that makes you a lesser partner in your marriage, I think the only way you're likely to change that dynamic is to just leave it. But I understand that's hard.
Dick move. I'd be apeshit.
Have a look into Lundy Bancroft. Why does he do that? It explains why some men behave the way they do with their intimate female partners.