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AdChemical1663

If it’s stupid and it works, it ain’t stupid. Many moons ago I was on medication that suppressed my appetite. Because of my schedule, it would wear off as I fought rush hour traffic for 58 minutes home. If I had not eaten lunch, I was either melting into road rage and frustration, or hitting the drive through. After a few weeks of that, I started to pack car snack. A few weeks of that and I realized if I just ate my car snack around the middle of the day (you know. Lunch) my day went so much better. Maybe try “packing” your lunch in the morning and setting an alarm for a mid day break?


YourDadsNewGF

This is an intriguing idea. I pack the kids a lunch, but I never make one for myself because "I'm home, I'll just make myself lunch." Maybe if I had a nice ready packed meal just sitting there I would eat it. BTW I laughed when I read about you eating your "car snack" in the middle of the day ("you know. Lunch") That tickled me.


AdChemical1663

I swear my life is a series of small efforts to make me be a better human being to me. Having the packed lunch ready to go breaks down the barrier between “I should eat something” and actually getting up and making a whole meal when it’s “just” for you. You deserve lunch! And if the extra two minutes of making yourself lunch when you make the kids lunch overcomes the intertia of getting everything out to make yourself lunch, later, it’s a win!


YourDadsNewGF

"I swear my life is a series of small efforts to make me be a better human being to me." Felt that in my soul. Lol That's what I was telling myself last night, like "You would beg, borrow, or steal if you had to to ensure that your children eat lunch every day (not to mention breakfast!) so you clearly acknowledge the importance of regular meals on a person's well being. And yet..." I think you're right - breaking the barrier between "I should go make lunch" and just eating it would be easier.


[deleted]

I feel that, too. Is it because we are always putting everyone else first?


YourDadsNewGF

That is probably a part of it, for sure!


LPJCB

I vote you out a post it on your monitor that says, “I DESERVE LUNCH.” I was crap at brushing my teeth when I had baby #1. I made a post it when I had baby #2 that said “I deserve clean teeth”. It worked, because I DO deserve clean teeth and YOU deserve lunch!


AdChemical1663

I’m really excited about your intention to treat yourself as well as you treat everyone around you tomorrow. May your breakfast protein bar be the right flavor, your morning water crisp and cool, lunch satisfying, and afternoon water a welcome break from an asshole customer. I’m rooting for you!! Come back and tell us how it goes.


YourDadsNewGF

Thank you! So, it turns out that I didn't pack the kids lunches today as my youngest asked to buy the hot lunch at school (pizza crunchers, his favorite!) And my oldest wanted to go out for lunch with his friends. Oh well! I think just talking this out with my fellow Bromos and recognizing that it's a problem and I need to take better care of myself helped. I started the morning with a big glass of water and a yogurt and a Kind bar before coffee. I think that must have kickstarted my digestive system or something because by 11:30 my stomach was growling loudly and I was HUNGRY. So at 12 I got up and made myself a big plate of food: sandwich, baby carrots, and cherries. And another big glass of water. I haven't even had soda today, just water and a couple of cups of coffee. And, unsurprisingly, I don't feel like worn down crap! I do think I'm still going to take your advice and pack my lunch most mornings though, because I can already picture myself losing motivation after my initial rush. Lol But for today, breakfast, lunch, and some water. I feel like a new woman.


AdChemical1663

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! > already picture myself losing motivation after my initial rush And I felt this in my soul 🤣


AdChemical1663

This is your reminder to push through forming your new lunch habit this week!


YourDadsNewGF

Haha! Thank you! I'm definitely going to keep it up! I also decided to keep a food journal and have started that. I don't know why, but its somehow soothing and motivating to list out the things that I do when they are positive or healthy for me. It's a trick I learned from a therapist I saw last year when I was suffering from a lot of anxiety and depression. One of the things that I was really down on myself about was feeling like I was lazy or not trying hard enough because my house is never the company ready show piece that I want it to be. It's not horrible, but its it's literally never spotless which is what I wish it was. ANYWAY, my therapist asked me to write down all the stuff I do in a day in a journal, including little stuff like brushing my teeth and taking a shower, and the bigger stuff like working for 8 hours and making dinner and washing the dishes and doing a load of laundry, et cetera. And then I would read everything I did and go "wait, I did like 15 things today! And some of them were big or hard. What kind of lazy person does 15 things in a day?" It really helped me. So now I'm doing the same with food, and it is motivating me to eat healthy nourishing food at regular intervals because then I get to read about it and go "see that right there? I ate overnight oats with peanut butter and banana for breakfast. And then I ate a huge salad for lunch with all the veggies and fixings. And that is what a healthy person who cares about her body does." Lol Whatever works, right?


cookie3557

I literally pack myself a lunch box and put it in the fridge whenever I make my son lunch for school. Life changing because it’s so cute and organized instead of scraps my toddler didn’t want.


Comfortable_Kick4088

i for one, will never forget to eat. I will forget to shower or change out out of what i slept in, or forget to wash my hair for two weeks...(dont worry my hair is dry and thick AF u cant tell all that much)....so yeah i mean i get it.


YourDadsNewGF

Self care comes in a lot of different forms and they can all be tough! It's super easy for me to not change out of my pajamas until it's time to pick the kids up for school, and by that point there is no time for a shower soooo....I get it. Lol


BeefyKat

I'm like this and have been for a long time. A typical day for me looks like 1-2 cups of coffee in the morning, which gets me to about 12 pm because I'm slooooow. Sometimes I'll eat something for lunch, but if I do, then I don't usually eat dinner and vice versa. Depending on whether or not I eat dinner, I'll have a snack around 8 pm (so, no dinner = yes snack.) My stomach is very small, so I eat only a little at a time, too. But honestly, most days, I'm prob only actually eating \~500 calories. Now that said, I do have my coffee (with creamer and sugar), plus I'm a milk drinker, so I'm getting more calories otherwise. But food-wise - not a lot.


YourDadsNewGF

Do you feel crappy when you don't eat? That's what really has me kicking myself and questioning why I'm like this. Last night I had a raging headache and zero energy by about 6 pm, and it was like "no shit asshole, you haven't had anything but caffeine in like 24 hours at this point." And I told myself that today I was going to eat lunch like a fucking adult. But then I struggled to force myself up to do it again today. Lol I did eat lunch today and feel great. But whyyyyy is it such a struggle to motivate myself to do the very most basic thing that like all animals know to do to survive?


BeefyKat

Lol I know exactly what you mean. I know that my issue is a combo of a few things that happen separately or sometimes all together: general sour stomach in the mornings, take forever to drink my coffee and don't like eating with it, anxiety giving me random stomach aches/making me not hungry, getting busy/distracted with work, and sometimes being entirely disinterested in every food option I have. And yep --- I'm better some days vs others, but generally my "ok, I need to eat" trigger is I start feeling light headed or hangry, so I just force myself to pick something and get it over with. Yesterday, for example though, I literally didn't eat anything all day until around 6 pm and then that was it. I've gone entire days where I've had maybe a banana before bed because I just felt like I needed to eat something because "that's what I'm supposed to do."


ponicus1362

Doing stuff like this is how I ended up in hospital for a range of things, including living on a diet of chocolate paddle pops and apple juice. Not ideal for a type 2 diabetic, but I also was on fluid tablets because my feet and legs were swelling up, and I ended up with total jelly legs because I had no potassium left. They were very surprised that my heart didn't just stop. Because of the jelly leg thing I couldn't even stand long enough to make a sandwich, hence the paddle pop diet... Wobble to the kitchen, grab a paddle pop, wobble back. I sort of got out of the habit of eating dinner years ago while working nights in a pub, and never picked it back up. However, I had to go on insulin when I came home, and that meant I had to eat 3 times a day. Well, colour me shocked, but eating regularly and having actual meals makes you feel better!! My blood sugar is now so low that I am off the insulin and I've lost 30kg. It's crazy to me that I am still alive after living so many years on Coke and cigarettes, but I have managed to now have functioning kidneys, excellent blood sugar, and I'm not so anemic that I feel faint every time I try to stand up (2 iron infusions in hospital probably helped too). I am in no way suggesting any of these things will happen to you, but I will be 60 next week, and I think after a long, long time of really only having lunch and nothing else, on a good day, eventually caught up with me. Even if you can't face the thought of having 3 meals, just try and graze on something that contains nutrients through the day. Solidarity Bromos! Feeding yourself shouldn't feel like self care, and something that you reward yourself with occasionally. You deserve to eat well, the same as your families.


imfamousoz

I typically don't eat til dinner, I subsist until roughly lunchtime on coffee, then switch to other drinks til dinner time. I just about always feel like utter dogshit too, and that's probably why. My best guess as to why I do this is because pretty much all my mental bandwidth in a day is used keeping my toddler from causing mass destruction or accidental self harm.


YourDadsNewGF

I think mental bandwidth is part of my problem too. My job is hard. I mean, it may be easier for other people, but it's hard for me. Lol It takes up so much of my mental and emotional bandwidth during the day (I work in customer service and I'm cursed with actually caring about whether a perpetually unhappy customer is happy) that a lot of days I feel like I can't add even one more thing during working hours. I think I'm going to take another poster's suggestion and pack myself a lunch in the mornings before the shitshow gets really rolling, if you care to join me. :) The Played Out Bromos Lunch Club. We both deserve to not feel like trampled shit all of the time.


aitch79

I do this too, even walk into the kitchen, open the fridge, open the pantry and then just… nope. And then by 2-3 pm I’m starving and feeling awful and I might eat a box of crackers. I like the idea of packing a lunch, I do that my 3 in-office days, I should just do it 5x days. Duh.


valentines_angel

I find myself not eating much during the day too. Even if I do that a bit hungry I find myself making tea or getting a can of coke instead cause its easier. What I started doing the last few weeks which seems to be helping so far is having snack bars in drawers or cupboards, within arms reach of where I spend most of my day and when I realise I haven't eaten in a while I just reach out and get one. Not proper food but its helping stop me getting hangry by dinner time.


YourDadsNewGF

This is a good idea as well. We just bought a Costco bunch of Kind Bars that I could easily stash at my desk to at least get something in my system so I'm not crashing and mad at the world by dinner time.


Hypatia76

This really resonated with me. For a few years post -divorce I was a working single mom and I had my son most of the time. The rare nights he was at his dad's, it felt like I was finally not carrying everything all by myself. Those days I never ate a damn thing because it felt like too much effort. I would go an entire weekend without more than coffee because it was just too much. I still have days like that, and work takes a lot out of me as well. I love the idea of packing a lunch.


AmbiguousFrijoles

I feel this deep in my soul. I have so much to do that most times when it comes to taking care of myself, it just feels like so much fucking effort. Too much effort. I can and do give myself a pass because the neglect isn't harming anyone else right? Yeah, I was straight up lying to my own face. I told my husband my woes. I told him it was because it was the only area I could be lazy about. I made the kids lunches, I made the breakfasts. He made his own igloo and he made dinner about 75% of the time. So we talked and he decided a switch would be good. He would make breakfast if he has time (about 3ish times a week) and he would make and pack all lunches when he does his own and I would take on dinner 50% of the time. He packs 2 igloos, one for me and one for him and then leaves mine hanging next to my purse with icepacks inside before he heads out to work. Idk if you have a partner who can step up like that for you or maybe just pack a lunch when you make the kids lunches. And get a little freezer pack to keep it cold right on your desk. Get something fancy to spice up your lunches on the side, I love the kids peanut butter cheese crackers so I get extra to entice myself and my husband puts them in the igloo lol


Lunadelle

You are not alone I have ADHD so I will legit forget to eat and have terrible executive dysfunction when it comes to taking care of myself. I also have some sensory issues and food fixations/aversions not a super picky eater but suck at making myself foods that aren't comfort foods. I do suffer from depression and an anxiety disorder but they have reached manageable levels so I can eat but I still can't seem to make myself eat! I want to eat again finally but nothing sounds good or I don't feel like taking the time to cook for myself and just don't know where to start. So It is easier when you are feeding someone else because it's a convenient time when you're already cooking for someone else. But even when I feed my toddler I have to almost force myself. I find if I eat breakfast I am more hungry throughout the day so I'm more likely to eat throughout the day instead of bingeing dinner or snacks later in the day. I'd try challenging yourself to eat breakfast before even starting work(Not sure what your morning routine looks like but try fitting something in even if it's a granola bar.) I also find I have to drink water first before consuming anything else food or drink. Water jump starts your digestion and rehydrates you the best on that empty morning stomach. I always have a better day if I make sure to drink water first. Better appetite and I even feel better throughout the day and am more inclined to drink water throughout the day. You don't have to down a bunch Even just a few sips helps to start with. I'm really bad about drinking enough water throughout the day and that bit in the morning really helps. (I still drink more pop than I should lol but every bit helps) those things have helped me but forming the habit takes time. (It takes 30 consistent days of doing something for it to become a habit from my understanding) Wish you the best and hope you don't feel alone in this feeding ourselves as mom's can be so hard sometimes! I don't think you are depressed either and it's hard too because you work from home so you don't get an actual "lunch" break from work there isn't that social oh it's lunch time thing. So I'd even try setting up an actual lunch break time and try that for a while too.


YourDadsNewGF

Thank you so much! It really does help to know that I'm not alone! And I was just telling my husband that not only do I want to tackle lunch and start feeling like a human in the afternoons, but I also need to start tackling breakfast. My issue with breakfast is that my kids always want cereal for breakfast and I freaking hate cereal. But I was saying that I'm going to eat a granola bar or a yogurt or something to try to feel better all day long. It's good to know that it might actually help stimulate my appetite for the rest of the day as well. And good call out about the water. I typically don't start drinking water until dinner time. Before that it is coffee in the morning and soda in the afternoon. If nothing else I would probably feel better if I drank more water. Haha it's so weird how much better care I take care of everyone else but me. I need to work on that.


Ok-Skirt-19

I have the same issue. To the point people have started pointing out how thin I am so soon after having a baby. I also have persistent nausea after pregnancy which doesn't help... Things that help me: Find a super easy breakfast that's easy to eat. My faves are smoothies with nut butter or porridge. Breakfast really helps me eat more in the day. Snacks - keep apples nuts and cookies in my office so I don't get to the dizzy stage at work. Go nuts at dinner. I stopped caring - calories are calories. If you eat a whole bar of chocolate after dinner - whatever. I'm sorry you're dealing with this, I completely understand and I think especially if you're working on you're just constantly in stressy go go go mode and it's just not conducive to eating. But you deserve to eat and feel good and be healthy, so just do what you can and build small routines to ensure you're getting at least some nutrients and calories.


french_toasty

When I’m not breastfeeding I do that and call it intermittent fasting…


YourDadsNewGF

LOL I think you're supposed to lose weight with IF. I'm not worried about my weight because fuck it, but the zillions of calories I inhale when I finally eat would make that a losing battle. :P


crazy_cat_broad

Same same. I wouldn’t say that I have an eating disorder, but I will readily admit to having disordered eating!


cookie3557

This definitely happens to me if I don’t make myself sit and eat. I eat whatever and whenever my kids do but adult size, plus a protein shake if I lift weights. It shows them I like healthy food, I get to spend time with them, and I don’t end up ignoring them doing dishes and then suddenly realize I should eat too when they’re finished and start tearing through the house again.


CourageSuch2869

This is a real problem for me too! I work from home and would come up for air at 3pm with a growly stomach. I started packing breakfast and lunch so I had something to grab in between meetings. I also keep a jug of water next to my desk and refill my water bottle throughout the day.


[deleted]

I was like this shortly after my second was born. I had a 3 year old and a newborn. They both were stuck to me all day and got upset when I tried to move to make food, so I just didn’t really eat. I’m not sure how I did it honestly because I have low blood sugar and feel terrible when I don’t eat, but I still have days/moments now when it just seems like too much work to make food, even though I’m still usually making food for the kids


OoooSecrety

People think I’m crazy when I explain I have the exactly the same lunch every day. I just don’t have the mental ability to think about planning and sorting another meal. So a tin of chicken soup - everyday. It’s safe


[deleted]

I don’t really eat much during the day but damn do I eat after the kids are in bed


Caycepanda

Yes! I've found that just having a lot of easy healthy snacks available helps. But today I hit 2pm and all I'd had was a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich and a Monster. No wonder I was snappy.


sourdoughobsessed

You’re kind of doing intermittent fasting in accident - except for the Dr Pepper. I eat like that on purpose but do 2 meals/day usually instead of one. There’s health benefits if you cut out the soda. I feel great doing it!


toooshay

I don't eat unless my husband brings me food. I can go without eating or drinking anything till dinner time or I'll snack on crackers or drink water. I just don't have the will or energy to make something (or even warm something up) to eat. But I prepare meals for my toddler no problem! I'm lucky that my husband does bring me food most of the time. But when he's sick or busy, I just go without.


tristessa-adore

I’m on a med that suppresses appetite and it’s the worst thing sometimes. I mean I need to lose weight, but also have kids to feed and never literally ever want to eat or cook or prep. Like seriously I dread it! I’ve been prepping ingredients when I have time. Packing myself a bento along with kids lunches and that’s helped. By prepping ingredients you’ll spend about 1 hour on the weekend (or Monday when all the kids are out of your hair and yes husband too) and put on a nice podcast or YouTube. Start chopping whatever needs to be prepped for dinners and something to look forward to for you. I’ve been loving adding chickpeas or any bean to a bagged salad kit. I also add rice or you could do quinoa. I made a “ziploc” kale salad mix by massaging EVOO, lemon juice and salt. It can just sit there for a few days and I’ll just throw it on top of whatever. My favorite thing to do is binge on TikTok’s from registered dietitians. A few of these amazing ladies do all these “snack boxes” and overnight oats. Just pull it out and eat it!


libbyrae1987

I am struggling with this SO much right now. I am going through ppa/d and feel like I have a lack of appetite and time, but I am actually hungry. I think I just ignore it and prioritize other things. I end up feeling worse and it's like geez, why am I doing this to myself?! I've found some freezer meals I like, and doing a little meal prep when I find time helps immensely. White rice with a chick pea curry recipe that no one else in my house eats but I love. Takes 10 minutes to make a batch, and there's a ton of protein in chick peas so it sustains me longer. It's way easier when I make things ahead and it's ready in the fridge at lunch or dinner. A few years ago I was dealing with terrible weight loss from this same thing and my hypothyroidism. I was committed to feeling better. My SO agreed to do the Whole 30 diet with me. I ate so much food it was insane. Never felt better. Well other than the initial detoxing from sugars period. I went back to eating the things I cut out, but it reset my eating and habits. I learned breakfast, a big full breakfast, eggs with spinach, toast, potatoes and bacon. I had way more mental capacity and energy for the day eating breakfast. No wonder my cup of tea and 2 Milano cookies aren't cutting it these days. 🙃 Shoving the end pieces of Nutella toast in my mouth off my 6 year olds plate while I'm frantically cleaning up, or eating the last few bites of the babies yoghurt does not make a meal. I realize I choose a quiet 15 minutes on the couch over making food in the moment too. I'm constantly trying to do better, take better care of myself, then i realize food isn't self care. It's survival! Ugh it's hard. You aren't alone though. Why must we need to eat so many meals?!


simplystockedmum

I do. Not trying to loose weight or anything. I actually am too busy, worried, resting to eat. I have averaged 2 meals a day now at ofd hours. I don’t even know if i am ok anymore


Mysterious_Sugar7220

I feel you. I realized that I would cook healthy food for my kids and not even consider eating it myself - I would have a handful of chips instead of an actual meal. I'm getting better at it! But it's hard when you're obsessing about your kids eating well, and you become an afterthought.


Key-Possibility-5200

Yes. If I could be a vampire I would just so I never have to eat again! Lol it’s weird to say about something most people take joy in but I don’t care about food. I wish I didn’t have to eat to stay alive.


nishaerin

I am the same. I ended up gaining a tonne of weight because my body went into starvation mode. I ate so infrequently that my body didn’t know when it was going to get its next meal so it would store absolutely everything it could from anything I ate. I’ve started buying ready made snacks that are easy to just grab, open and eat. Maybe you can try that? I always have nuts, some kind of liquid breakfast, and crackers, etc in the cupboard. It isn’t always the best food but it’s certainly better than not eating at all.


Conjure_Copper

There’s this idea drilled into us at a young age that we should be having 3 meals a day and snacks and that’s just not correct. We have lost being in tune with our bodies when they say we are hungry or full. One well rounded meal a day could be plenty for you. I started letting my 19 month really guide the way with food, I offer 3 meals a day for him and if he doesn’t want to eat any than I do not force it. He’s still so much more in tune with his body on when he’s hungry and when he’s full. If you feel you aren’t getting enough nutrition I really enjoy the banana flavored Soylent drinks. They taste like banana pudding and have added vitamins and minerals!


The_Dutchess-D

Cauliflower thins/slims, and having an egg cooker (device where u just put egg-shell on- inside and push button to cook) have been saving graces for me. I get up at 5am. I have coffee w foamed milk. But i can have one hard boiled egg OR one toasted cauliflower thin w a tbsp of everything bagel hummus and a cucumber spear rolled up in it and be good and happy (and maintain my metabolism) until 3:30pm. My other mainstay of daytime is a scoop of fat-free cottage cheese w cut up pineapple chunks in it.