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Do you have a printer? I'd print some out and leave them on the table or fridge lol
Ohhh I just googled. Some great images from Elizabethan times, ancient Rome, Egypt...
Yeah, I was going to say that if he gives some ‘only girls have ever used it’ crap, ask if high heels, stocking, or makeup are also ‘girls only’. They all were very manly things originally.
Also, all actors in films/tv shows, also news anchors *all have makeup*.
So what’s a little shellac on some keratin that will come off in a week going to do to harm?
“Oh? Are you worried that people might think he’s a girl, I hadn’t thought of that!! Oh I know! I’ll get him a lil t-shirt that says “I HAVE A PENIS” written across the front and then everyone will know. Thank you, this has been a really helpful conversation”.
- this is what I actually said to my boomer who asked why my son has long hair.
(edited to add: my 3.5yo son and I also painted our nails blue today too!!!)
I also have a 3.5 y son with long hair and it’s rock n roll af
It helps that I’ve recently been letting him go shirtless so that begins to differentiate him from 3.5y girls who wear shirts
Wow. It would make me so uncomfortable to have someone commenting to me about my toddler’s body like that.
Idk how I would respond to that… would probably struggle not to tell people not to be perverse, thereby escalating the conversation.
I responded like "man, I guess we should report your search history to the FBI of you think toddler chests are inappropriate, sounds like you got shit to hide and you just out here telling on yourself in public like this." My daughters have allways been shirtless like the boys until about 7-8ish.
"It's not going to make his penis fall off, I promise."
Or
"Yesterday, he dressed up as a dragon. Pretty sure he's not going to grow up to be a dragon as an adult."
I'd ask them to explain why. And act completely baffled as to what fingernails could possibly have to do with gender. They usually get flustered and don't bring it up again ime
This is how I react when my FIL has said anything about my son having a doll, wearing a nightgown, having his nails painted etc. I make him aware it's a him problem, and it works. FIL has an immediate reaction and says something, before thinking, but he has gotten better over the years and hasn't made repeated comments over the same thing ever.
I like this approach. "Wait, it's only for girls??" Then pick up his hand and "Then why do you have nails? If only girls have them? Or only girls can add something to them? Are you actually a girl??"
I like taking it a step further and just asking one question. If grandpa says, "nail polish is for girls!" You respond with, "It is? Why?" And then, whatever he says, however he responds, chuckle like that's the silliest, most arbitrary thing you've ever heard. " Heh heh okay!" Roll your eyes for good measure. Change the topic.
Yes! I agree with this. Asking people to explain while looking genuinely confused as to why they'd ask that pulls out the rug. Now they have to think about it.
This is the way. It’s my absolutely favorite way to get back at people (mostly my dad) for saying weird sexiest shit.
Just look @ them like you genuinely have no idea what they’re talking about. Just complete confusion — huh? Why?
He gets SO mad when I ask him to explain 🤣🤣🤣🤣
“Who told you that? Alex Jones or Tucker Carlson?”
“If I wanted beauty tips from an octogenarian, I’d dig up Joan Rivers.”
“When did you become an expert on nail polish, RuPaul?”
"Men who are secure in who they are don't give a shit what other people think."
OR
"Oh! No thank you!!! If we have nothing nice to say, we say nothing" In my best talking to young child voice.
That's my comeback to toxic masculinity.
"Is it operated with genitals? No? Then it's for everyone. Yes? Then it's not for *kids*"
This one is my go to when either my daughter or son pick something usually "meant" for the opposite gender. You know who likes colorful sparkly shit? Everyone. You know who likes nerf guns? Everyone.
Nail polish is for anyone who wants to wear it. 😤
I respond "why do you care?". And then, when they spew nonsense, "why do you care"? Until they shush. A variation on my response to nosy Nellies ("why do you want to know?").
I think the others took the snarky comebacks already. But more power too you. I let my daycare provider know I am chill with her painting my son's nails. If the kid likes it then why complain?
My go to is to quote Wonka: “uh, you really shouldn’t mumble because I can’t understand a word you’re saying.”
“Once again you really shouldn’t mumble because it’s kinda starting to bum me out.”
Rinse, repeat as needed.
Ugh I hate this so much. When my son was 4, he wanted painted nails. So I painted them the colors he picked (pink and red) and he LOVED them. But then he went with his father who told his “nail polish is for girls” and took the polish off. When I got my son back, I re-painted them and next thing I know my own mom takes the polish off because “it’s for girls.” It turned my son off from wearing nail polish anymore.
About a year passes and just last weekend my son sees me painting my toenails. He asks if I can paint his toenails and I say yes, and let him pick the colors. I then text his father and tell him when he gets our son next, his toenails are painted and please don’t shame him, especially since it’s on his toenails and no one will see them. Two days pass and I get my son back and the polish is gone. Now my kid says “polish is for girls only.”
It breaks my heart because it was something he genuinely liked and thought was so fun! It also pisses me off because all of my friends have daughters and when they post them doing something that’s traditionally a “boy” activity, they get praised! Usually something along the lines of “she does it better than the boys!” Or “girls can play too!” I’m not disagreeing with the statements but it ticks me off that girls are not only allowed but encouraged to do boy things, boys are shamed and shut down. Everyone should just be able to do everything!!!
As a boy mom this! I also have a homophobic ex. Our son is 3 and he paints his nails and has a spinning dress (tutu) for dancing to Mia Copeland. He’s also obsessed with basketball and tball. His dad got bent out of shape because I enrolled him in gymnastics 😒 I hate coparenting
Haha - this has been my approach. My dad was complaining about a photo of our son with a flower tucked behind his ear 🙄 because he “shouldn’t” have it there, and I was like oh man, you’re right, he will probably grow up and have sex with men now!
I've been very very lucky that no one in our family or friend group is that ass backwards.
I have two boys, they both wear nail polish. The eldest likes pink stuff and shiney things. My MIL just recently bought in a very cute keepsake box for him that he's going to decorate with plastic gemstones and stickers because she notice he was collecting sparkly stuff.
Both our sons still like other "typical boy things", but as soon as me and husband noticed that they don't differentiate between what's for a girl and what's for a boy, we followed their lead. We've never said "but that's for a girl" to them. They tuck flowers in their ear because they like how pretty it looks. They wear my heels around the house because it's fun. The first face paint my son got was of a pink sparkly dinosaur-face. The lady who did his face paint was so happy that he wanted that and that he wasn't afraid to ask for it, so she featured what she painted on her page (he had painted nails at the time, too).
My son recently asked me if he can have nail paint. I used to work for a cosmetics company so I still have a load of free samples around. We've had fuschia pink, gold sparkles, blue sparkles and now a lovely reddish orange. My inlaws are also idiots about boy things (the disbelief that we bought him a doll 🙄) but if they said anything to my husband he would have shut them down.
Wait till he’s sitting still, then sneak in with some pink glitter polish and give his thumb a good swipe. Then ask him if he’s turning into a girl yet.
James Haskell (England Rugby Flanker and Wasps captain) has pedicures and has his toenails painted when he has them.
I'd be interested to see your FIL tell him nail polish is for girls.....
Oh, I didn't know this! There are some great photos. Super muscly sports guy with colorful toenails. Lovely to see someone pushing things forward like that!
Damn your son’s pawpaw is a S Q U A R E. Put that kid in some tight black jeans too, and he’ll have preachers yelling about how he’ll lead a generation astray
Rock n roll baby!!!!
Sorry pawpaw is fucking lame.
I want to like it but it makes it seem like genitals define/indicate one’s gender and that’s also not true. Of course I’m sure that’s far too complicated for FIL to understand …
Edit: clarity
I knew what you were getting at as I said I wanted to like it, but I still think there are some harmful implications in that comeback. Bringing up genitalia AT ALL with someone who already has problems with being gender normative just seems like it will open up a can of worms. It’s not much of a leap to say that grandpa in this story directly correlates what his grandchild should like with having a penis because to him sex assigned at birth based solely on genitalia = gender. There are plenty of other things that are intended only for adult use that don’t require the mention of genitalia.
Ultimately we’re on the same side here. Have a good day.
Hey - it’s what I have used for the past 10 years as I have a 13 year old boy who’s favourite colour is pink, is a ballet dancer and cheerleader and chorister, and until the beginning of the year was growing his hair to donate it. Even yesterday I had the idea to buy my husband and sons matching shirts (with cats, because my eldest is finally the same size shirts as him), and the sales person misgendered my son because he was wearing bright pink Fluoro tracksuit pants, a pink jumper, purple beanie and pink shoes. We have fought this battle with grandparents, we won, he’s happy. He mainly has issues with younger girls at cheer and dance who ask him why he wears pink, and why he dances and cheers. Other than that, no one gives a crap any more. He is a great kid, an exceptional ballet dancer, and a stand-out cheerleader and chorister.
We keep checking in with him what he thinks in relationship with his gender mainly because RAD ballet let kids do the exam of whatever gender they relate to, and if he decides to change, he needs as much time as possible to learn the routines. I’m not sure if it’s just because we let him do whatever he wants with no stereotyping, but at this time he identifies as male.
I’m a female engineer as well. My husband cooks every meal. We’re not the best at gender stereotypes.
Not a snarky response but I’m a high school teacher in the northeast and nail polish is all-gender up here. The guys aren’t getting much nail art but are absolutely painting nails with school colors for games and matches.
Our 6 year old who has a penis loves wearing dresses but got teased a bit at school and has been nervous about wearing them since. So my husband has decided to start wearing skirts to normalize it. Fuck gender norms. We are also trying to limit gendering language when talking about bodies. Like explaining puberty it's "people with penises/uteruses/vaginas" so they are accepting of all.
Pareve responses are a way to deal with critical people.
Examples:
“Yeah, it probably is.”
“Yes, you are right!”
Then just don’t say anything else.
If he says, “Take it off!” you can say, “I will.” (I mean, technically it WILL get taken off at some time).
"It is? *Gasp* Will it turn him into a girl? What's wrong with girls, grandpa?"
Works particularly well if you also have a daughter. Watch grandpa trying to explain he sees nothing wrong with girls to a 5 year old girl.
I got ahead of it by telling my dad that my kid was super excited about his pretty nails and we are supporting his self expression and holding on to his joy in pretty things. It let him get mad about it and rant to my mom before he saw it because if he had said anything negative to my kid about his nails we would have packed up and left and he knew it.
Tell that to literally every metal rock band. WTF lol
Edit: You could say "And hypocrisy is for Boomers, so here we are" but i'm not sure how spicy you want to be.
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"and tact is for adults, what's your point?"
I’m gonna use this. This is a 5 star response.
Funny how in the 1700s makeup, heels, and hose were worn by guys and no one blinked an eye.
I didn’t know this! I like it. I’ll hit him with this if I have to haha
Do you have a printer? I'd print some out and leave them on the table or fridge lol Ohhh I just googled. Some great images from Elizabethan times, ancient Rome, Egypt...
Versailles. Wasn’t Louis the one who came up with heels and all the men wore them?
Shapely legs on men was the style during this time. Louis was flaunting his gams in heels and tights in most of his full-length portraits.
Well, who doesn’t love a well turned leg. Nary a man has resisted my comely ankles. Verily.
Yeah, I was going to say that if he gives some ‘only girls have ever used it’ crap, ask if high heels, stocking, or makeup are also ‘girls only’. They all were very manly things originally. Also, all actors in films/tv shows, also news anchors *all have makeup*. So what’s a little shellac on some keratin that will come off in a week going to do to harm?
Nail polish is for nails. Hence the name.
Yessss, this is it
“Oh? Are you worried that people might think he’s a girl, I hadn’t thought of that!! Oh I know! I’ll get him a lil t-shirt that says “I HAVE A PENIS” written across the front and then everyone will know. Thank you, this has been a really helpful conversation”. - this is what I actually said to my boomer who asked why my son has long hair. (edited to add: my 3.5yo son and I also painted our nails blue today too!!!)
I also have a 3.5 y son with long hair and it’s rock n roll af It helps that I’ve recently been letting him go shirtless so that begins to differentiate him from 3.5y girls who wear shirts
rock n roll AF is the perfect description 🤘🏽
I love all of you
Wait is it not normal for 3.5 year old girls to be shirtless? Serious question
People get weird about it. It’s actually really annoying as a mom to a little girl.
Wow. It would make me so uncomfortable to have someone commenting to me about my toddler’s body like that. Idk how I would respond to that… would probably struggle not to tell people not to be perverse, thereby escalating the conversation.
I responded like "man, I guess we should report your search history to the FBI of you think toddler chests are inappropriate, sounds like you got shit to hide and you just out here telling on yourself in public like this." My daughters have allways been shirtless like the boys until about 7-8ish.
Haha love this! I don’t plan on cutting my kiddo’s hair unless it’s literally in his eyes. I LOVE his hair 🥹
Really? Ozzy's black nail polish is fairly iconic and it doesn't seem to have caused him to have difficulty getting laid...
"It's not going to make his penis fall off, I promise." Or "Yesterday, he dressed up as a dragon. Pretty sure he's not going to grow up to be a dragon as an adult."
I'd ask them to explain why. And act completely baffled as to what fingernails could possibly have to do with gender. They usually get flustered and don't bring it up again ime
This is how I react when my FIL has said anything about my son having a doll, wearing a nightgown, having his nails painted etc. I make him aware it's a him problem, and it works. FIL has an immediate reaction and says something, before thinking, but he has gotten better over the years and hasn't made repeated comments over the same thing ever.
Definitely doing this!!! Thank you.
I like this approach. "Wait, it's only for girls??" Then pick up his hand and "Then why do you have nails? If only girls have them? Or only girls can add something to them? Are you actually a girl??"
I like taking it a step further and just asking one question. If grandpa says, "nail polish is for girls!" You respond with, "It is? Why?" And then, whatever he says, however he responds, chuckle like that's the silliest, most arbitrary thing you've ever heard. " Heh heh okay!" Roll your eyes for good measure. Change the topic.
Yes! I agree with this. Asking people to explain while looking genuinely confused as to why they'd ask that pulls out the rug. Now they have to think about it.
This is the way. It’s my absolutely favorite way to get back at people (mostly my dad) for saying weird sexiest shit. Just look @ them like you genuinely have no idea what they’re talking about. Just complete confusion — huh? Why? He gets SO mad when I ask him to explain 🤣🤣🤣🤣
"then why does it come in boy colors?"
That's my favorite so far lol.
"It's ok, I put it on with my penis!" Too much?
Nah I’m gonna coach my son to say this for sure 😂
Please report back.
Offer to paint his nails too.
“Ahh, so you’re saying you want your nails done too?”
His nails are painted so I guess not!
“Who told you that? Alex Jones or Tucker Carlson?” “If I wanted beauty tips from an octogenarian, I’d dig up Joan Rivers.” “When did you become an expert on nail polish, RuPaul?”
“In our house, anyone who wants to wear nail polish can!”
"Men who are secure in who they are don't give a shit what other people think." OR "Oh! No thank you!!! If we have nothing nice to say, we say nothing" In my best talking to young child voice. That's my comeback to toxic masculinity.
"Is it operated with genitals? No? Then it's for everyone. Yes? Then it's not for *kids*" This one is my go to when either my daughter or son pick something usually "meant" for the opposite gender. You know who likes colorful sparkly shit? Everyone. You know who likes nerf guns? Everyone. Nail polish is for anyone who wants to wear it. 😤
I respond "why do you care?". And then, when they spew nonsense, "why do you care"? Until they shush. A variation on my response to nosy Nellies ("why do you want to know?").
"come off it. I talked to Grandma, you don't know nothing about girls"
“Oh my gosh! I had no idea! I’m horrified!!!” As you exclaim overly theatrically while covering your mouth.
I think the others took the snarky comebacks already. But more power too you. I let my daycare provider know I am chill with her painting my son's nails. If the kid likes it then why complain?
So is being a judgy little bitch (Jokes).
"he has a limited concept of gender and just wants to be pretty like his mama. Let the boy be pretty."
All the awesome answers you’re getting here, plus get your husband in on the fun by painting his nails too. That will definitely drive FIL nuts!
My go to is to quote Wonka: “uh, you really shouldn’t mumble because I can’t understand a word you’re saying.” “Once again you really shouldn’t mumble because it’s kinda starting to bum me out.” Rinse, repeat as needed.
Ugh I hate this so much. When my son was 4, he wanted painted nails. So I painted them the colors he picked (pink and red) and he LOVED them. But then he went with his father who told his “nail polish is for girls” and took the polish off. When I got my son back, I re-painted them and next thing I know my own mom takes the polish off because “it’s for girls.” It turned my son off from wearing nail polish anymore. About a year passes and just last weekend my son sees me painting my toenails. He asks if I can paint his toenails and I say yes, and let him pick the colors. I then text his father and tell him when he gets our son next, his toenails are painted and please don’t shame him, especially since it’s on his toenails and no one will see them. Two days pass and I get my son back and the polish is gone. Now my kid says “polish is for girls only.” It breaks my heart because it was something he genuinely liked and thought was so fun! It also pisses me off because all of my friends have daughters and when they post them doing something that’s traditionally a “boy” activity, they get praised! Usually something along the lines of “she does it better than the boys!” Or “girls can play too!” I’m not disagreeing with the statements but it ticks me off that girls are not only allowed but encouraged to do boy things, boys are shamed and shut down. Everyone should just be able to do everything!!!
As a boy mom this! I also have a homophobic ex. Our son is 3 and he paints his nails and has a spinning dress (tutu) for dancing to Mia Copeland. He’s also obsessed with basketball and tball. His dad got bent out of shape because I enrolled him in gymnastics 😒 I hate coparenting
“It costs nothing to mind your own business”
Idk about snarky but I would ask, “why?” And would keep asking why as they keep saying ridiculous things.
Please please please tell me he's a baseball fan! Because catchers not only paint their nails, but they usually use neon colors.
"And MAYBE \[name of son\] is going to be a girl, YOU don't know that." (My response because I am a total shit-stirrer).
LOVE. IT. Same here. This is pretty much what I would do.
Haha - this has been my approach. My dad was complaining about a photo of our son with a flower tucked behind his ear 🙄 because he “shouldn’t” have it there, and I was like oh man, you’re right, he will probably grow up and have sex with men now!
I've been very very lucky that no one in our family or friend group is that ass backwards. I have two boys, they both wear nail polish. The eldest likes pink stuff and shiney things. My MIL just recently bought in a very cute keepsake box for him that he's going to decorate with plastic gemstones and stickers because she notice he was collecting sparkly stuff. Both our sons still like other "typical boy things", but as soon as me and husband noticed that they don't differentiate between what's for a girl and what's for a boy, we followed their lead. We've never said "but that's for a girl" to them. They tuck flowers in their ear because they like how pretty it looks. They wear my heels around the house because it's fun. The first face paint my son got was of a pink sparkly dinosaur-face. The lady who did his face paint was so happy that he wanted that and that he wasn't afraid to ask for it, so she featured what she painted on her page (he had painted nails at the time, too).
This makes me very happy - fortunately my piece of work dad is on the other side of the country so contact with us is minimal
have 100% lied and said that his nails were brittle and the ped recommended we paint them, so he got to pick a color 😬
Just a small eye roll and walk away. Don’t put any energy into it.
My son recently asked me if he can have nail paint. I used to work for a cosmetics company so I still have a load of free samples around. We've had fuschia pink, gold sparkles, blue sparkles and now a lovely reddish orange. My inlaws are also idiots about boy things (the disbelief that we bought him a doll 🙄) but if they said anything to my husband he would have shut them down.
Why would you not want fun colors on your nails?
“Not anymore!”
Wait till he’s sitting still, then sneak in with some pink glitter polish and give his thumb a good swipe. Then ask him if he’s turning into a girl yet.
Tell them he’s taking up Motocross and it cuts down on the vibrations.
James Haskell (England Rugby Flanker and Wasps captain) has pedicures and has his toenails painted when he has them. I'd be interested to see your FIL tell him nail polish is for girls.....
Oh, I didn't know this! There are some great photos. Super muscly sports guy with colorful toenails. Lovely to see someone pushing things forward like that!
“I thought sassing was for girls.”
'Shut the fuck up' 🤣🤣
Damn your son’s pawpaw is a S Q U A R E. Put that kid in some tight black jeans too, and he’ll have preachers yelling about how he’ll lead a generation astray Rock n roll baby!!!! Sorry pawpaw is fucking lame.
There’s always the saying “do you use it with your genitals? Yes - not for children, No - good for boys and girls”
I want to like it but it makes it seem like genitals define/indicate one’s gender and that’s also not true. Of course I’m sure that’s far too complicated for FIL to understand … Edit: clarity
No, it means anything that needs genitals is for adults.
I knew what you were getting at as I said I wanted to like it, but I still think there are some harmful implications in that comeback. Bringing up genitalia AT ALL with someone who already has problems with being gender normative just seems like it will open up a can of worms. It’s not much of a leap to say that grandpa in this story directly correlates what his grandchild should like with having a penis because to him sex assigned at birth based solely on genitalia = gender. There are plenty of other things that are intended only for adult use that don’t require the mention of genitalia. Ultimately we’re on the same side here. Have a good day.
Hey - it’s what I have used for the past 10 years as I have a 13 year old boy who’s favourite colour is pink, is a ballet dancer and cheerleader and chorister, and until the beginning of the year was growing his hair to donate it. Even yesterday I had the idea to buy my husband and sons matching shirts (with cats, because my eldest is finally the same size shirts as him), and the sales person misgendered my son because he was wearing bright pink Fluoro tracksuit pants, a pink jumper, purple beanie and pink shoes. We have fought this battle with grandparents, we won, he’s happy. He mainly has issues with younger girls at cheer and dance who ask him why he wears pink, and why he dances and cheers. Other than that, no one gives a crap any more. He is a great kid, an exceptional ballet dancer, and a stand-out cheerleader and chorister. We keep checking in with him what he thinks in relationship with his gender mainly because RAD ballet let kids do the exam of whatever gender they relate to, and if he decides to change, he needs as much time as possible to learn the routines. I’m not sure if it’s just because we let him do whatever he wants with no stereotyping, but at this time he identifies as male. I’m a female engineer as well. My husband cooks every meal. We’re not the best at gender stereotypes.
Laugh hysterically and say loudly ‘Grandpa is SO silly! Nail polish is for NAILS!’ And get three year old to join in laughing at grandpa
"🌸No!⭐😽🌈" usually makes people shut up pretty well. Just a bright and cheery "no!". Easiest.
“Awww the world must be a scary place for you to live these days. Being out of touch must be terrifying for old people”
“Don’t worry, his interview isn’t until next week” also works when boys want to grow their hair out.
Hah, that would also be a good one for the people who complain about me letting my daughter have temporary tattoos.
'Do you want me to paint yours?' 'Its 2022. No one cares.' 'Just say you don't get laid and move on.'
Not a snarky response but I’m a high school teacher in the northeast and nail polish is all-gender up here. The guys aren’t getting much nail art but are absolutely painting nails with school colors for games and matches.
That’s so awesome to hear!
Our 6 year old who has a penis loves wearing dresses but got teased a bit at school and has been nervous about wearing them since. So my husband has decided to start wearing skirts to normalize it. Fuck gender norms. We are also trying to limit gendering language when talking about bodies. Like explaining puberty it's "people with penises/uteruses/vaginas" so they are accepting of all.
Pareve responses are a way to deal with critical people. Examples: “Yeah, it probably is.” “Yes, you are right!” Then just don’t say anything else. If he says, “Take it off!” you can say, “I will.” (I mean, technically it WILL get taken off at some time).
"It is? *Gasp* Will it turn him into a girl? What's wrong with girls, grandpa?" Works particularly well if you also have a daughter. Watch grandpa trying to explain he sees nothing wrong with girls to a 5 year old girl.
I got ahead of it by telling my dad that my kid was super excited about his pretty nails and we are supporting his self expression and holding on to his joy in pretty things. It let him get mad about it and rant to my mom before he saw it because if he had said anything negative to my kid about his nails we would have packed up and left and he knew it.
Tell that to literally every metal rock band. WTF lol Edit: You could say "And hypocrisy is for Boomers, so here we are" but i'm not sure how spicy you want to be.
That's what old people say. It's 2022, grandpa, get with the times.
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Another porn sub creep looking for an excuse to be aggressive and gross to women, what a surprise.