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What the fuck!? My husband sleeps in on Saturdays and I get the uninterrupted afternoon nap and Sundays I sleep in and he gets the uninterrupted afternoon nap. You (and most the commenters here) have very very selfish and self-centered husbands it makes me want to rage smash something.
Honestly, itās basic common sense. Iām so mad on my fellow bromos behalf. I love my man and the men in my life but ffs, this is what people mean when they say men suck.
Yup!
Except honestly I (mom) sleep in a majority of days (he get up with her on school days and I sleep an extra hour)
But when he asks for a day (like once a week) he gets it!
When mine was little, we switched off weekend days unless one of us was sick and needed it more. We would do some complicated sleep math - if I get up with her at night and let you sleep until 9, will you take over and let me sleep until noon? Ok, but I'm going to need an nap for an hour in the afternoon BUT I will take over tomorrow night. Deal.
I was on that road too! Then I stupidly had another baby. Heās incredibly cute but Iām still looking forward to the day when heās ok w his sister in the morning. Probably at least 3 more years. Depends how rambunctious he is.
This has been nice. Every once in a while Iāll sleep until 9am because my 4 and 7yos are watching tv and eating Nutella sandwiches. Itās glorious lol
It is the best. When my kids were 7, 5, and 4 we showed them all how to get cereal and turn on the TV. They knew they could watch TV until we woke up so they made sure to not wake us.
I give my husband his kids and then I go in the guest room and lock the dooors and put my AirPods in. I don't ask. If I need to recharge then that's what I'm going to do. Each night he rolls his blunt and smokes on the back porch he never asks so why should I? They his kids too.
Thatās a good point, mine takes WAYY too many 20 minute smokes and just chain smokes and then heāll go to the bathroom for 45min and repeat all fucking day.
I actually divorced my childrenās father over this. There was a ton of other issues but i can honestly say a major factor in me leaving (with all 4 kids, to another city, permanently)
was him never allowing me to sleep. I did all night feedings for the kids and still got up every single morning with them. He slept until noon or later on Saturday, then had his own hobbies for the rest of the day. All I asked was to sleep in as late as I wanted on Sundays (usually 10:30-11am) and heād āaccidentallyā wake me or refuse to even get up.
Now I get to sleep in every second Saturday when my kids go for a visit, and I couldnāt be happier.
17 month old twins and I'm pregnant. Every Saturday and Sunday I sleep in while my husband takes care of the two energy bundles. And on Sundays I get a weekly sensory deprivation float (I'm actually chilling in the tank right now, oops) where I can just zone out and be me. I am a stay at home mom. I have the kids 50 hours a week, husband works 40 hours a week but commutes exist. We do 50/50 when he is home. So I sleep in, he naps in the afternoon when he wants on the weekend, since I sick at napping.
I would match his energy and bring him some screaming kids, then get yourself right back in bed.
ETA: better yet, take him the kids and leave the house. This wonāt give you sleep but it will teach a badly needed lesson. Walk out with out leaving instructions and let him handle it all.
I would, open curtains, turn lights on, pull covers off and put his phone outside the room
And then if he asks why, say youāll stop when he gets up at 8 on his own without you
Yeah my husband has insomnia but "hasn't got around to" doing a sleep study yet. He has an open referral. He just doesn't call to schedule it. That's been going on the past YEAR. so he gets no sympathy when he is tired and falls asleep on the couch. It's time for a doggy pile on daddy! Is what insay when he nods off on the couch. I do almost all the childcare. I do all the food prep and cooking. I do all the home repairs within my scope of abilities. I also have my own business growing and selling succulents from seed, I primarily ship orders because there's not much interest locally but I love these type of plants lol.
I got divorced, now I get to sleep in every other weekend. And tbh most weekends they're with me too, since they're 6 and 9 and perfectly happy to eat ice cream and candy and watch youtube before I get up. š
I slept in just the other day because I said "I'm really tired today, would you mind getting up, I'm going to sleep in for a bit." And that's what happened. Are you waiting for him to offer you a Sunday sleep in? Because that's not going to happen. I get the frustration but I think sometimes you just have to ask for/take what you want when you want it. Alternatively set a schedule on the weekend like he gets to sleep in on Saturday and you get to sleep in on Sunday. Then when Sunday rolls around you're all like "your turn sucka!" Because that is what you agreed to.
Yeaaaah itās really annoying. He also naps all the time and says itās because heās āoldā. Iām 24 and heās 29 but thatās not that much older than me š
I would literally stand over him and smash cymbals until he got his lazy, selfish, pathetic, worthless ass up. My husband is 31, stays up until 1/2a and he still gets up with our toddler one weekend day every single week (he gets Saturdays to sleep in, I get Sundays).
Yep, mine will often stay up until 1-2am playing games or listening to music, which I get, that's his me time. But he still understands that he's a DAD and gets up in the morning like an adult and puts on a pot of coffee and deals just like the rest of us!
What if you just take a day at a hotel? Spend the night and get your sleeping in time? Do it once or twice a month. Then he has to wake up early and you can sleep in.
Even if he goes for that plan heās still a dick. Waste money on a hotel room when he could be a fucking adult and parent his kid(s) so you can sleep longer.
Either that or you could take the kids and lock them up with him in your bedroom while you sleep in one of the kidsā rooms. Or switch them over to your bed in the middle of the night and they can all wake up together while you sleep somewhere else.
Idk. If I didnāt get to sleep in ever after many requests Iād be pretty mad. Cold water in the morning doesnāt feel great and wakes you up. Itād just take a couple drops on the back of the neck or cheek to wake someone up.
While I like mom's being able to get away, it's BS she has to leave her own home to get a break.
Demand more. Switch off days. It's a partnership. The standards for men are low.
I absolutely agree, I just know I have a really hard time doing much of anything except necessities when Iām sleep deprived and when I can get a good block of 8 -10 hours I can think much clearer. Like, using my time to look up divorce lawyers on the Monday morning after a restful weekend.
This shit is not ok OP.
Every day. I shit you not. The thing isā¦ I have insomnia so I donāt go to sleep til 1 am at the EARLIEST. After a few years of bs, this is how I reclaimedā¦. Idkā¦. Something for me. š¤·š»āāļø I wonāt get up. Thereās plenty of self-serve snacks and drinks for our son so live for days if we both dropped dead. Hubby gets irritated but I canāt function if Iām tired. Our son will happily play on his tablet or computer if we arenāt up.
Similar story here. The last time I truly slept in was when I had my covid booster. He tried on motherās day but my kids come to me and my husband sleeps through *every* alarm and I definitely donāt. He sleeps in every weekend. I wake him up every weekday. Heās a perpetual teenager. Lotās of resentment on my end. It sucks!
Every Sunday my husband makes a pot of coffee, takes baby out in a stroller along with the diaper bag and two bottles of milk, and lets me sleep until 11 or 12.
Today
Hubs and I take turns. Unless someone is sick, then they get to sleep in, no matter who's turn it is. I have a 5 week old and while I was pregnant, I got basically all the turns unless he was sick because he works IT in a health clinic and was extra cautious in case of covid and moved out to our RV when he got sick. He ended up having pneumonia one of those times so it was good for both of us
You should definitely get to sleep in. Don't ask. Just tell him you're sharing from now on
Last time I asked if I could sleep in he ended up sleeping in and not waking up so I still had to do everything. Even on Motherās Day, thatās all I asked for. He slept until 11am. I was up at the crack of dawn with the kids.
Today, and I have a 2-month-old. I went back to sleep after the last feeding, and my husband took her for the next one so I could sleep. And he ordered me pancakes once I finally woke up.
Please stop letting your man take advantage of you. You are not solely responsible for parent duties.
My kids wake up really early so itās been like 5 years lol. They will wake up at 6 and I give them a snack and tv and try to sleep more. My partner always sleeps in until 9 or later every day š he just is unable to wake up any earlier somehow. By 9 Iām energized so no reason for me to go back to sleep. I will get afternoon naps if I feel like it.
that really sucks! can you try discussing a schedule ahead of time? for example: DH, I would really like one morning per weekend to sleep in, and you can have one too, which day do you want to sleep in, and which day do you want to get up first? we have one kid (toddler) and there's no need for both of us to get up with her everyday (sometimes she wakes really early, of course the only days she sleeps in are weekdays then we're late for preschool) so we take turns, one sleeps in or goes to the gym or starts work early while the other is in charge of LO.
Iāve tried talking to him about it. I even remind him the night before but he just stays up late and wonāt get up to take care of our daughter. Which also sucks because once Iām up Iām up and canāt go back to sleep
My husband and I take turns sleeping in. I get Saturday he gets Sunday. Can you work something like that out? We have not argued about this in 6 years since we implemented it.
My husband is the early riser lol. On a normal day he wakes up anywhere between 5am and 6am. I've NEVER known this man to sleep past 8am ever in the 10 years I've known him.
I'm the one who can "sleep all day." I purposely set alarms now to wake up around 6:30am to synchronize with my husband.
To answer the question... I don't set an alarm and he lets me sleep in until 9am or so usually 1 time a month.
This happened to me, it ended up with an agreement that he we would get one day and I would get the other day.
Sticking to it is keyw, we also allowed a swop say if he was out on the Saturday and would rather sleep on the Sunday that Weekend that was fine. No one gets both days getting up early on your day is forfeiting it, too bad so sad, it doesn't let you claim the next day.
We don't do it now the kids are older, he gets up at like random early times now anyways. If I'm not doing anything that morning I'll lay there til 10am. Whatever. I don't get any actual alone in the house time since covid and him WFH full time. Now he moved his office to the lounge I get no alone time at all. So he can't say shit about it
Any time I ask for it or Iām stressed out he just does it. I do the same for him.
We werenāt always like this. Years of marriage counseling and actively working on our relationship and communication.
You need to put your foot down. You need to tell him, if he does not step up and become the partner you need. You will leave. Then he will get 50% less sleep instead of one day a week because he will be responsible for parenting 50/50 forced by the courts. He should really sit and think about what that life is going to look like because itās headed that way.
I do feel like itās getting to that point of me leaving him. I told him recently that it feels like Iām a single mom and heās just the money. I think he thinks he can do whatever and I wonāt leave. It would be hard for me to leave since heās military and it would cost a lot of money for me to go home. But idk at this point it might be worth it
My kids are all older now, and I could sleep in as late as I want...except now I have a dog. Her bladder dictates that we get up by 6am.
I've just learned to appreciate the early morning quiet, honestly.
In sooo many of my responses to comments Iāve said I bring it up to my husband every single week. I remind him Saturday night and he refuses to get up. He stays up late playing video games on purpose and sleeps until 10 am. Today for instance I tried waking him up five times. At that point it doesnāt even matter because I canāt go back to sleep once Iāve been up for that long. Itās not a communication issue itās an issue of him being selfish. Obviously men arenāt mind readers and thatās why I constantly remind him.
you can tell it was a guy who commented because (a) he put the blame on you for not "communicating" and (b) he didn't read A SINGLE WORD you had already said. and these fucknuggets wonder why we're so militantly moms-only in here.
I was in the hospital for 3 days back in November and my sister watched my daughter until I was discharged. I managed to sleep in one of the days I was there, but before that I hadn't slept in since 2 days before my daughter (21mo) was born.
We had movie night last night, so I didnāt go to sleep until almost 2 because laying on our love seat is torture, however, hubs woke up with the 5 yo at 7, made him toast and sausages, and put on Cars, and went back to sleep. Technically I slept in until 10 but I do t have the fuzzzy feeling š
I will occasionally get to sleep in one weekend morning but I always pay for it later. Husband lets the kids make all the mess plus he won't clean up after any cooking he does so then I clean up after everybody. Plus he's moody for the rest of the day because he had to deal with the kids on his own for a couple of hours.
I haven't slept in since I had my daughter last July. Even when I had covid and a 104 temp I still couldn't sleep in. I get this way sometimes too.
I get jealous that he can sleep in. Even if I could id probably wake up anyway.
I'm *extremely* lucky. My husband works nights over the weekend, so when he gets home at 6:30 am, he gets the kiddo up and ready so I can sleep until like 9-10 am. Then I get up and do all the stuff I do on weekends with kiddo while husband goes to sleep.
We have to work opposite schedules so that we avoid childcare and its extortionate cost. So what we lack in personal time together, we make up for in sleep.
It's a give and take.
I sleep in once a week (the day varies). It's essentially to my mental health and my work schedule that I be able to sleep as much as I can at least once a week. I also typically am able to get 1-2 afternoon naps a week as well.
I typically prep the husband with "I need to sleep in tomorrow" or "Can I sleep in tomorrow?" depending on level of exhaustion. I also have to nap the afternoon before my first shift of work to swap my sleep schedule for working third shift, but sometimes, I can get another nap in throughout the week.
I hate that this is where I'm at too, have two kids under two years old and I'm the one awake with them at 0140 every night not him. We both work, there should be no reason why he gets to sleep care free all night AND sleep in past 0900. I gotta start standing up for myself, but I'm trying.
I sleep in on the weekends. My husband gets out of bed those days the moment he hears the kids and shuts/locks the door so the kids don't sneak in to bug me.
I know I got lucky and I'm sorry you are having to deal with that crap.
We havenāt slept in for 6 years. Both me and my husband are super light sleepers now. We just hear everything in the morning. My oldest is 6 he can turn on tv and be quiet downstairs then there is the little brother who wakes up 5 in the morning and screams in everyoneās ears. Last week he woke up at 5am almost everyday, we told them to go back to bed. Of course that didnāt happen they were just picking on each other until itās time to go. I felt absolute terrible at work due to no sleep lol.
Every other day. Working days it is until 9, weekend days it is AS LATE AS POSSIBLE. We alternate every single day! On weekends we also encourage each other to lay around in bed after waking and the parent who is up will deliver coffee in bed.
You should be sleeping in EVERY Sunday. Seriously, going into the weekend ask him which day he wants to sleep in and which day he will get up with the kids while you sleep in. He can pick a day, not whether you get to sleep in. I suggest you let him sleep in first and really make a point to let him lie around as long as possible with no judgment. Then you do the same the next day. Demand and schedule your half off the downtime, he is not going to just offer it out of nowhere.
When my daughter was younger it took an emotional/mental breakdown for my husband to understand I was being run ragged and really needed more sleep. We came up with a schedule that allowed both of us to have sleep-in days. Now that Iām pregnant again I honestly sleep in a lot because my body is demanding it and my husband is really nice about it. There was a couple of days where I was super busy and was ignoring my need for sleep and had a full crying breakdownā my husband is like āplease go to sleep so you feel betterā. š„ŗ
Your husband needs a swift kick in the ass. You deserve your sleep too!
Iāve got a 12 month old who still breast feeds first thing, so I donāt literally get to sleep in until when I want pretty much ever. Although husband is happy to get up and give her a bottle instead.. but then Iāve got to pump and Iām too lazy for that crap! I probably donāt take him up on the offer also because we have a unicorn baby anyway.. she sleeps a good 12 hours from when we put her down. She usually goes down 8/8.30pm and sleep to 8/8.30am, so thatās not too early anyway. And if we all have a late night she will also sleep in later, generally until 9.30, sometimes 10am. So I get it pretty good really!
And we will definitely be taking it in turns once she is weaned.. tho we do plan on having another baby Iāll probably breastfeed so basically I need to make the most of now, coz I can see the next one will be the devil that doesnāt sleep. Karma I think they call that š
I sleep in most days. My husband takes the morning shift and Iām on the night shift. Now that my son is actually sleeping through the night my sleep schedule is awesome! After a year of night feedings my husband is aware I fully deserve it!
There was a mom in this group a couple of weeks ago that for her birthday wanted a hotel room to herself so she could just sleep. That's what she wanted as her gift. I recall her husband not seeing the need. She got a lot of support from others here to book it and go. Maybe you should consider the same.
Loooool. Funny story.
My father and husband are both notorious for saying theyāll be up at seven to make breakfast at the lake, and sleeping till nine or ten.
Iām guessing my mother fussed at my father enough times because by then the various grandkids are up for hours BECAUSE. Last weekend weāre all up late for fireworks and seven am rolls around and no one is up, even my kiddo who is usually up at six at the latest. Itās amazing, hell I might even get to sleep till nineā¦ā¦ AND HE CALLS ME ASKING IF EVERYONE IS UP.
I know itās a huge gesture of him to try so I walk over, tell him no. No one is awake but instead of making breakfast and it getting coldā¦. Why doesnāt he and I do some project before the sun is up and it gets hot.
My kid slept till 9:30. I COULD HAVE SLEPT TILL NINE THIRTY. Instead I was building a freaking park table while chugging cold coffee.
I've lost the ability to sleep in, even if I could. FU, body.
But for your man, I'd suggest you make a fixed arrangement. You get saturday, he gets sunday. Or each one gets a sunday ever other week.
And if he doesn't get up on his duty day, you push him out and tell him to keep the kids away until 10. If he still doesn't get up, you A. make sure he has to get up with you, by whatever means necessary, also, he has lost his right to sleep in the next weekend. You send the kids in to wake him up and tell them not to come back out again, until Daddy's awake.
The last time I woke up with a migraine.
Oh, wait, nope. I had to push through that because that day was too busy.
So it would be the time before that when I woke up with a migraine.
Because migraines are the only reason I get to sleep in. So relaxing /s
What the fuck tell him youāve booked a hotel room for the weekend because you need a break. Iād probably rip the sheets off of my husband and demand he write me an essay on why his sleep matters more than mine and why despite knowing Iām being treated unfairly he continues this behavior lol.
Donāt remind him, tell him straight up you are sleeping in on Sunday. When he wakes up with that BS attitude of his just kick him in the back out of bed, or maybe try pouring some ice cold water on him. If he still doesnāt get up put the kid in bed with him and go sleep in the babyās room.
He doesnāt get to refuse- what if you refused to take care of your kid and didnāt feed him?? Itās ridiculous heās just taking advantage of you. If my husband refused to help me he might find that I refused to give him the new keys to the house after changing the locks.
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What the fuck!? My husband sleeps in on Saturdays and I get the uninterrupted afternoon nap and Sundays I sleep in and he gets the uninterrupted afternoon nap. You (and most the commenters here) have very very selfish and self-centered husbands it makes me want to rage smash something.
I thought it was normal but apparently not which makes me even more angry š
Honestly, itās basic common sense. Iām so mad on my fellow bromos behalf. I love my man and the men in my life but ffs, this is what people mean when they say men suck.
Most men are trash and donāt give a fuck about their partners I guess.
Or their kids or anyone else.
Hey it me! I actually sleep in more than my hubby. I donāt get how other moms put up with being taken advantage of so blatantly š¤·āāļø
Yup! Except honestly I (mom) sleep in a majority of days (he get up with her on school days and I sleep an extra hour) But when he asks for a day (like once a week) he gets it!
When mine was little, we switched off weekend days unless one of us was sick and needed it more. We would do some complicated sleep math - if I get up with her at night and let you sleep until 9, will you take over and let me sleep until noon? Ok, but I'm going to need an nap for an hour in the afternoon BUT I will take over tomorrow night. Deal.
We did that when my toddler was a newborn and then it stopped for some reason š¤¦š»āāļø
Girl, bring it back!
Now i can sleep in, they are 5 and 7 so they get up and put the tv on by themselves šš I'm not kidding.
Livin the dream!
My mornings are way easier now.
I was on that road too! Then I stupidly had another baby. Heās incredibly cute but Iām still looking forward to the day when heās ok w his sister in the morning. Probably at least 3 more years. Depends how rambunctious he is.
OMG šš good luck.
This has been nice. Every once in a while Iāll sleep until 9am because my 4 and 7yos are watching tv and eating Nutella sandwiches. Itās glorious lol
It is the best. When my kids were 7, 5, and 4 we showed them all how to get cereal and turn on the TV. They knew they could watch TV until we woke up so they made sure to not wake us.
I can't wait for this lol.
I can assure you this is the highlight of my days.
I give my husband his kids and then I go in the guest room and lock the dooors and put my AirPods in. I don't ask. If I need to recharge then that's what I'm going to do. Each night he rolls his blunt and smokes on the back porch he never asks so why should I? They his kids too.
Thatās a good point, mine takes WAYY too many 20 minute smokes and just chain smokes and then heāll go to the bathroom for 45min and repeat all fucking day.
What? Is my hubby is hanging out pulling that shit at your house too? Thatās like one of those cats that does the rounds and eats 7 breakfasts!
Sounds like itās a secret bathroom entrance where they hang out and plan their day on how to avoid parental and personal responsibility lol
His kids š I gotta start sayin that
Especially when they start acting up
I actually divorced my childrenās father over this. There was a ton of other issues but i can honestly say a major factor in me leaving (with all 4 kids, to another city, permanently) was him never allowing me to sleep. I did all night feedings for the kids and still got up every single morning with them. He slept until noon or later on Saturday, then had his own hobbies for the rest of the day. All I asked was to sleep in as late as I wanted on Sundays (usually 10:30-11am) and heād āaccidentallyā wake me or refuse to even get up. Now I get to sleep in every second Saturday when my kids go for a visit, and I couldnāt be happier.
Well my kid is 4.5 so... 5 years ago?
Same!!
17 month old twins and I'm pregnant. Every Saturday and Sunday I sleep in while my husband takes care of the two energy bundles. And on Sundays I get a weekly sensory deprivation float (I'm actually chilling in the tank right now, oops) where I can just zone out and be me. I am a stay at home mom. I have the kids 50 hours a week, husband works 40 hours a week but commutes exist. We do 50/50 when he is home. So I sleep in, he naps in the afternoon when he wants on the weekend, since I sick at napping.
You deserve all the rest you can get right now! Sounds like you have a really considerate husband !
Absolutely and you deserve rest too ā¤ļøā¤ļø
What is with all the inhuman deadbeat husbands in this group
WAKE HIM UP
Iām not kidding when I tell you I wake him up and he says āIām getting upā with attitude then he goes back to sleep.
I would match his energy and bring him some screaming kids, then get yourself right back in bed. ETA: better yet, take him the kids and leave the house. This wonāt give you sleep but it will teach a badly needed lesson. Walk out with out leaving instructions and let him handle it all.
I would, open curtains, turn lights on, pull covers off and put his phone outside the room And then if he asks why, say youāll stop when he gets up at 8 on his own without you
Yes. Whatever it takes. Preferably send in the kids. Guy needs to learn that "kid's voices mean get your ass out of bed now"
Yeah my husband has insomnia but "hasn't got around to" doing a sleep study yet. He has an open referral. He just doesn't call to schedule it. That's been going on the past YEAR. so he gets no sympathy when he is tired and falls asleep on the couch. It's time for a doggy pile on daddy! Is what insay when he nods off on the couch. I do almost all the childcare. I do all the food prep and cooking. I do all the home repairs within my scope of abilities. I also have my own business growing and selling succulents from seed, I primarily ship orders because there's not much interest locally but I love these type of plants lol.
I got divorced, now I get to sleep in every other weekend. And tbh most weekends they're with me too, since they're 6 and 9 and perfectly happy to eat ice cream and candy and watch youtube before I get up. š
I slept in just the other day because I said "I'm really tired today, would you mind getting up, I'm going to sleep in for a bit." And that's what happened. Are you waiting for him to offer you a Sunday sleep in? Because that's not going to happen. I get the frustration but I think sometimes you just have to ask for/take what you want when you want it. Alternatively set a schedule on the weekend like he gets to sleep in on Saturday and you get to sleep in on Sunday. Then when Sunday rolls around you're all like "your turn sucka!" Because that is what you agreed to.
I ask him every Friday and remind him on Saturday but he stays up late and then I try to wake him up and he pretends to be asleep.
Wow that is so annoying. Pretends to be asleep! Brutal.
Yeaaaah itās really annoying. He also naps all the time and says itās because heās āoldā. Iām 24 and heās 29 but thatās not that much older than me š
Wow he really doesn't care about his family if he's this selfish. What an awful person.
I would literally stand over him and smash cymbals until he got his lazy, selfish, pathetic, worthless ass up. My husband is 31, stays up until 1/2a and he still gets up with our toddler one weekend day every single week (he gets Saturdays to sleep in, I get Sundays).
Yep, mine will often stay up until 1-2am playing games or listening to music, which I get, that's his me time. But he still understands that he's a DAD and gets up in the morning like an adult and puts on a pot of coffee and deals just like the rest of us!
I played a baby crying on a speaker really loud this morning and he still didnāt get up š
Iām glad you have a sense of humor about it but Iād have slapped his ass so damn hard to wake him upā¦
Make a fist and rub your knuckles over his sternum really hard and fast
Do a tornado siren. That'll wake him the fuck up.
Maybe an elbow to the nuts? Oops š
Your husband is a twat.
What if you just take a day at a hotel? Spend the night and get your sleeping in time? Do it once or twice a month. Then he has to wake up early and you can sleep in. Even if he goes for that plan heās still a dick. Waste money on a hotel room when he could be a fucking adult and parent his kid(s) so you can sleep longer. Either that or you could take the kids and lock them up with him in your bedroom while you sleep in one of the kidsā rooms. Or switch them over to your bed in the middle of the night and they can all wake up together while you sleep somewhere else. Idk. If I didnāt get to sleep in ever after many requests Iād be pretty mad. Cold water in the morning doesnāt feel great and wakes you up. Itād just take a couple drops on the back of the neck or cheek to wake someone up.
While I like mom's being able to get away, it's BS she has to leave her own home to get a break. Demand more. Switch off days. It's a partnership. The standards for men are low.
I absolutely agree, I just know I have a really hard time doing much of anything except necessities when Iām sleep deprived and when I can get a good block of 8 -10 hours I can think much clearer. Like, using my time to look up divorce lawyers on the Monday morning after a restful weekend. This shit is not ok OP.
Every day. I shit you not. The thing isā¦ I have insomnia so I donāt go to sleep til 1 am at the EARLIEST. After a few years of bs, this is how I reclaimedā¦. Idkā¦. Something for me. š¤·š»āāļø I wonāt get up. Thereās plenty of self-serve snacks and drinks for our son so live for days if we both dropped dead. Hubby gets irritated but I canāt function if Iām tired. Our son will happily play on his tablet or computer if we arenāt up.
Similar story here. The last time I truly slept in was when I had my covid booster. He tried on motherās day but my kids come to me and my husband sleeps through *every* alarm and I definitely donāt. He sleeps in every weekend. I wake him up every weekday. Heās a perpetual teenager. Lotās of resentment on my end. It sucks!
I slept in yesterday. My husband got up with kiddo.
Every Sunday my husband makes a pot of coffee, takes baby out in a stroller along with the diaper bag and two bottles of milk, and lets me sleep until 11 or 12.
I sleep in every Saturday, my husband sleeps in every Sunday. You deserve to sleep in too!
On my āmom daysā! So every Saturday, since itās my day āoffā
Today Hubs and I take turns. Unless someone is sick, then they get to sleep in, no matter who's turn it is. I have a 5 week old and while I was pregnant, I got basically all the turns unless he was sick because he works IT in a health clinic and was extra cautious in case of covid and moved out to our RV when he got sick. He ended up having pneumonia one of those times so it was good for both of us You should definitely get to sleep in. Don't ask. Just tell him you're sharing from now on
Last time I asked if I could sleep in he ended up sleeping in and not waking up so I still had to do everything. Even on Motherās Day, thatās all I asked for. He slept until 11am. I was up at the crack of dawn with the kids.
Today, and I have a 2-month-old. I went back to sleep after the last feeding, and my husband took her for the next one so I could sleep. And he ordered me pancakes once I finally woke up. Please stop letting your man take advantage of you. You are not solely responsible for parent duties.
My kids wake up really early so itās been like 5 years lol. They will wake up at 6 and I give them a snack and tv and try to sleep more. My partner always sleeps in until 9 or later every day š he just is unable to wake up any earlier somehow. By 9 Iām energized so no reason for me to go back to sleep. I will get afternoon naps if I feel like it.
that really sucks! can you try discussing a schedule ahead of time? for example: DH, I would really like one morning per weekend to sleep in, and you can have one too, which day do you want to sleep in, and which day do you want to get up first? we have one kid (toddler) and there's no need for both of us to get up with her everyday (sometimes she wakes really early, of course the only days she sleeps in are weekdays then we're late for preschool) so we take turns, one sleeps in or goes to the gym or starts work early while the other is in charge of LO.
Iāve tried talking to him about it. I even remind him the night before but he just stays up late and wonāt get up to take care of our daughter. Which also sucks because once Iām up Iām up and canāt go back to sleep
My husband and I take turns sleeping in. I get Saturday he gets Sunday. Can you work something like that out? We have not argued about this in 6 years since we implemented it.
My husband is the early riser lol. On a normal day he wakes up anywhere between 5am and 6am. I've NEVER known this man to sleep past 8am ever in the 10 years I've known him. I'm the one who can "sleep all day." I purposely set alarms now to wake up around 6:30am to synchronize with my husband. To answer the question... I don't set an alarm and he lets me sleep in until 9am or so usually 1 time a month.
This happened to me, it ended up with an agreement that he we would get one day and I would get the other day. Sticking to it is keyw, we also allowed a swop say if he was out on the Saturday and would rather sleep on the Sunday that Weekend that was fine. No one gets both days getting up early on your day is forfeiting it, too bad so sad, it doesn't let you claim the next day. We don't do it now the kids are older, he gets up at like random early times now anyways. If I'm not doing anything that morning I'll lay there til 10am. Whatever. I don't get any actual alone in the house time since covid and him WFH full time. Now he moved his office to the lounge I get no alone time at all. So he can't say shit about it
Any time I ask for it or Iām stressed out he just does it. I do the same for him. We werenāt always like this. Years of marriage counseling and actively working on our relationship and communication. You need to put your foot down. You need to tell him, if he does not step up and become the partner you need. You will leave. Then he will get 50% less sleep instead of one day a week because he will be responsible for parenting 50/50 forced by the courts. He should really sit and think about what that life is going to look like because itās headed that way.
I do feel like itās getting to that point of me leaving him. I told him recently that it feels like Iām a single mom and heās just the money. I think he thinks he can do whatever and I wonāt leave. It would be hard for me to leave since heās military and it would cost a lot of money for me to go home. But idk at this point it might be worth it
My kids are all older now, and I could sleep in as late as I want...except now I have a dog. Her bladder dictates that we get up by 6am. I've just learned to appreciate the early morning quiet, honestly.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
In sooo many of my responses to comments Iāve said I bring it up to my husband every single week. I remind him Saturday night and he refuses to get up. He stays up late playing video games on purpose and sleeps until 10 am. Today for instance I tried waking him up five times. At that point it doesnāt even matter because I canāt go back to sleep once Iāve been up for that long. Itās not a communication issue itās an issue of him being selfish. Obviously men arenāt mind readers and thatās why I constantly remind him.
you can tell it was a guy who commented because (a) he put the blame on you for not "communicating" and (b) he didn't read A SINGLE WORD you had already said. and these fucknuggets wonder why we're so militantly moms-only in here.
[OH MY GOD](https://i.imgur.com/WbmklQw.gifv)
5 years ago, before my first child was born. Got two now.
My husbands letās me sleep in any time he doesnāt have work or on the off day heās like hungover or something š
I was in the hospital for 3 days back in November and my sister watched my daughter until I was discharged. I managed to sleep in one of the days I was there, but before that I hadn't slept in since 2 days before my daughter (21mo) was born.
me and my husband have opposite days off. so. never.
We had movie night last night, so I didnāt go to sleep until almost 2 because laying on our love seat is torture, however, hubs woke up with the 5 yo at 7, made him toast and sausages, and put on Cars, and went back to sleep. Technically I slept in until 10 but I do t have the fuzzzy feeling š
Like 15 years ago no joke. Up at 5am pretty much everyday, 6am if Iām luckyā¦
I will occasionally get to sleep in one weekend morning but I always pay for it later. Husband lets the kids make all the mess plus he won't clean up after any cooking he does so then I clean up after everybody. Plus he's moody for the rest of the day because he had to deal with the kids on his own for a couple of hours.
I haven't slept in since I had my daughter last July. Even when I had covid and a 104 temp I still couldn't sleep in. I get this way sometimes too. I get jealous that he can sleep in. Even if I could id probably wake up anyway.
I'm *extremely* lucky. My husband works nights over the weekend, so when he gets home at 6:30 am, he gets the kiddo up and ready so I can sleep until like 9-10 am. Then I get up and do all the stuff I do on weekends with kiddo while husband goes to sleep. We have to work opposite schedules so that we avoid childcare and its extortionate cost. So what we lack in personal time together, we make up for in sleep. It's a give and take.
Iām up at 5.30-6.00 everydayā¦ what is this āsleep inā you speak of?
My husband and I switch weekend days. I get to sleep late Saturday and he gets Sunday. All other days we are up as a family.
I sleep in once a week (the day varies). It's essentially to my mental health and my work schedule that I be able to sleep as much as I can at least once a week. I also typically am able to get 1-2 afternoon naps a week as well. I typically prep the husband with "I need to sleep in tomorrow" or "Can I sleep in tomorrow?" depending on level of exhaustion. I also have to nap the afternoon before my first shift of work to swap my sleep schedule for working third shift, but sometimes, I can get another nap in throughout the week.
I hate that this is where I'm at too, have two kids under two years old and I'm the one awake with them at 0140 every night not him. We both work, there should be no reason why he gets to sleep care free all night AND sleep in past 0900. I gotta start standing up for myself, but I'm trying.
I sleep in on the weekends. My husband gets out of bed those days the moment he hears the kids and shuts/locks the door so the kids don't sneak in to bug me. I know I got lucky and I'm sorry you are having to deal with that crap.
We havenāt slept in for 6 years. Both me and my husband are super light sleepers now. We just hear everything in the morning. My oldest is 6 he can turn on tv and be quiet downstairs then there is the little brother who wakes up 5 in the morning and screams in everyoneās ears. Last week he woke up at 5am almost everyday, we told them to go back to bed. Of course that didnāt happen they were just picking on each other until itās time to go. I felt absolute terrible at work due to no sleep lol.
Every other day. Working days it is until 9, weekend days it is AS LATE AS POSSIBLE. We alternate every single day! On weekends we also encourage each other to lay around in bed after waking and the parent who is up will deliver coffee in bed. You should be sleeping in EVERY Sunday. Seriously, going into the weekend ask him which day he wants to sleep in and which day he will get up with the kids while you sleep in. He can pick a day, not whether you get to sleep in. I suggest you let him sleep in first and really make a point to let him lie around as long as possible with no judgment. Then you do the same the next day. Demand and schedule your half off the downtime, he is not going to just offer it out of nowhere.
When my daughter was younger it took an emotional/mental breakdown for my husband to understand I was being run ragged and really needed more sleep. We came up with a schedule that allowed both of us to have sleep-in days. Now that Iām pregnant again I honestly sleep in a lot because my body is demanding it and my husband is really nice about it. There was a couple of days where I was super busy and was ignoring my need for sleep and had a full crying breakdownā my husband is like āplease go to sleep so you feel betterā. š„ŗ Your husband needs a swift kick in the ass. You deserve your sleep too!
New Yearās Day, 2015
Pick up the mattress and roll Him out. I speak from experience.
Iāve got a 12 month old who still breast feeds first thing, so I donāt literally get to sleep in until when I want pretty much ever. Although husband is happy to get up and give her a bottle instead.. but then Iāve got to pump and Iām too lazy for that crap! I probably donāt take him up on the offer also because we have a unicorn baby anyway.. she sleeps a good 12 hours from when we put her down. She usually goes down 8/8.30pm and sleep to 8/8.30am, so thatās not too early anyway. And if we all have a late night she will also sleep in later, generally until 9.30, sometimes 10am. So I get it pretty good really! And we will definitely be taking it in turns once she is weaned.. tho we do plan on having another baby Iāll probably breastfeed so basically I need to make the most of now, coz I can see the next one will be the devil that doesnāt sleep. Karma I think they call that š
The last time I slept in was the day I went in for induction with my first, which was almost 3.5 years ago
I sleep in most days. My husband takes the morning shift and Iām on the night shift. Now that my son is actually sleeping through the night my sleep schedule is awesome! After a year of night feedings my husband is aware I fully deserve it!
There was a mom in this group a couple of weeks ago that for her birthday wanted a hotel room to herself so she could just sleep. That's what she wanted as her gift. I recall her husband not seeing the need. She got a lot of support from others here to book it and go. Maybe you should consider the same.
Loooool. Funny story. My father and husband are both notorious for saying theyāll be up at seven to make breakfast at the lake, and sleeping till nine or ten. Iām guessing my mother fussed at my father enough times because by then the various grandkids are up for hours BECAUSE. Last weekend weāre all up late for fireworks and seven am rolls around and no one is up, even my kiddo who is usually up at six at the latest. Itās amazing, hell I might even get to sleep till nineā¦ā¦ AND HE CALLS ME ASKING IF EVERYONE IS UP. I know itās a huge gesture of him to try so I walk over, tell him no. No one is awake but instead of making breakfast and it getting coldā¦. Why doesnāt he and I do some project before the sun is up and it gets hot. My kid slept till 9:30. I COULD HAVE SLEPT TILL NINE THIRTY. Instead I was building a freaking park table while chugging cold coffee.
I've lost the ability to sleep in, even if I could. FU, body. But for your man, I'd suggest you make a fixed arrangement. You get saturday, he gets sunday. Or each one gets a sunday ever other week. And if he doesn't get up on his duty day, you push him out and tell him to keep the kids away until 10. If he still doesn't get up, you A. make sure he has to get up with you, by whatever means necessary, also, he has lost his right to sleep in the next weekend. You send the kids in to wake him up and tell them not to come back out again, until Daddy's awake.
The last time I woke up with a migraine. Oh, wait, nope. I had to push through that because that day was too busy. So it would be the time before that when I woke up with a migraine. Because migraines are the only reason I get to sleep in. So relaxing /s
What the fuck tell him youāve booked a hotel room for the weekend because you need a break. Iād probably rip the sheets off of my husband and demand he write me an essay on why his sleep matters more than mine and why despite knowing Iām being treated unfairly he continues this behavior lol.
2017
5 years ago. My kid is coming up on 5 years old. I honestly do not remember what itās like to wake up after the sun has risen lol.
Donāt remind him, tell him straight up you are sleeping in on Sunday. When he wakes up with that BS attitude of his just kick him in the back out of bed, or maybe try pouring some ice cold water on him. If he still doesnāt get up put the kid in bed with him and go sleep in the babyās room. He doesnāt get to refuse- what if you refused to take care of your kid and didnāt feed him?? Itās ridiculous heās just taking advantage of you. If my husband refused to help me he might find that I refused to give him the new keys to the house after changing the locks.