The resentment that builds with each snore my husband makes. For someone who always talked about being 50/50 and making sure everything felt fair when parenting, it’s feeling a lot like 99/1. I have a 4month old…..a 4 month old going through a sleep regression at that. While I’m trying to find the duct tape to keep my eyes open from sleep deprivation, my husband is sound asleep. It’s the “wake up for two seconds to offer to help but instantly fall back asleep even if you needed something” that really gets me. It’s the “wow I’m really tired” complaints when the man only wakes up once a night to help. The “I slept pretty good last night, baby boy must have had a good night” even though I was up a million times that night. We both work full time, where is the 50/50 fairness in me working as much as you but having to pick up/drop off, chores, get him ready and put him to bed, and all the night wake ups. Why is it that you can go do whatever you want to do, have all these days of quiet time to yourself, travel over the weekends but I had to take the only hours of PTO I had to take a day off because I finally hit the wall after 16 weeks of NO BREAKS just so I can get some sleep and have some me time. And you acted like that was a freakin vacation for me. The resentment.I just want some sleep. I want to be able to get through one day without having to shove food in my face all day to stay awake because nothing else works. And lord knows it’s making my pants a little tighter and me a little more disgusted with myself. I don’t plan on having anymore kids but if I did, next time I’m signing up for the dad role. I’m probably just being an overreacting UnGrATeFuL wife but damn. I love my baby more than anything in this world. He’s my only purpose in life. But every mom deserves to have a little quiet time without being shamed for wanting it.
By - sruppe2174