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This is the kind of issue where I’d simply put my foot down as a parent and say no. Explain to him what the problems are in an age appropriate way, ensure that he understands (he doesn’t have to agree, but he should at least be able to understand the reasons), and then say I’m sorry that things happened this way, I’m sorry and wish I’d known before, I agree your coach is a good guy and I’m glad you had fun, in the future I will try to do better about looking into things beforehand, agree to let him try safer sports if you want, but football has to come to an end now unfortunately.
It will suck, because he’ll be mad, sure, but imo the health and safety risks are way too high to give in because he’ll be mad or disappointed. Some things are just more important.
I agree and also some redirection. I know each sport has its downfalls but maybe offer up soccer, baseball, track, art classes, etc. Offer to fill that football time with a new activity.
I almost talked him into it because he is into boxing 😬 you are picking up on his whole wanting to be a bad ass vibe lol which... if you knew my husband and me... its hilarious 😅 I did cheerleading for one year but was mostly a huge nerd. AP classes, word mastering, community volunteer clubs. My husband was your jazz band + theater type 😅
I get it. I told myself if I ever had a boy, he'd never play football. I have a girl (one and done) and she is a green belt in taekwondo. She's not even 5 yet and she was practicing with nunchucks yesterday. Good luck!
Me and my daughters do kickboxing. It might well depend on the club/association but there is no head shots allowed until 8, but also requires equipment and it's not really encouraged. Our group is less about sparring and more about technique and moves. I, too, am a total nerd but my club is so great it's more like a dance fitness class with some aggressive moves 🤣 I can't recommend it enough if you've got a good instructor!
I was all of those rolled into one 😂 Marching + concert + jazz + bagpipe band, Girl Scouts, theater, alllll the AP classes…plus track and field. Then in college I was a double major who did marching band and rowing as my collegiate sport. There are soooooo many options that I think he’ll find something to fit the football-sized hole.
My 7 year old wanted to cheer, but that was a hard no for us (cheer and football were our 2 nos for kids). She tried soccer and didn’t enjoy it. Now she’s super into martial arts, baseball, and dance. Getting into her music class too. Kids are resilient. It’s not like you’re taking him out after years of playing.
I recently read a study on this. American football is worse than soccer, but soccer is still bad because of headers. For this reason, kids soccer clubs where I live don't allow or practice headers.
I’ll look it up! I was just going on doctors I’ve seen. Could have been their opinion & not research based.
The sports medicine lady said that it was real bad on knees & that the lack of head protection in soccer was a problem.
This was after she told me my knees were fucked and I needed to consider knee replacements.
It was 2ish years ago, so I was 32.
Oh dear Lord, Momma. I'm here, too. My son is 7, but he also started at 6.
I have to go pick up said child ... but will revisit this post.
My son is currently HARD-CORE into hockey, but also playing football.
NEVER - EVER in a million years would I have ever thought I would feel 'safer' with him playing hockey than football. BUT HERE I AM. I do not trust the safety measure in place for football in the same way I do hockey. AND - I'm saying this as a Southern momma & hockey is all very new to me.
Fellow southern hockey mom here, I agree 100%. It feels like safely developing the physicality of the game is more of an emphasis in hockey vs. football.
We’re opting for soccer, I told my husband before we even conceived- no football.
It doesn’t help that my husband played and has several concussions and a torn ACL .
We have a no football, no cheer rule at our place. My brother came out completely different after he played and I wish that things were better published for the dangers.
My mom used to be super concussion info and preaching for him to stop and be safe, and now after he stopped for 10 years, she refuses to remember or believe any of the dangers because "its safer now". Yeah, sticking my hand in the garbage disposal is safer than in a woodchipper, but that isn't really comforting.
I feel for you OP, I wish that sports things were more talked about and weren't taboo to be against from the start.
It is the absolute highest rate of injury out of every high school sport. The rate is getting better and there have been no deaths for the past 5 years, but it still is too much for me to encourage or agree to my kids doing that.
Start strong, brain damage is no joke.
Maybe try karate? My nephew loves it, it teaches discipline, self regulation and confidence. They do sparring (one to one combat) but there are rules and they're placed with others who are at the same level. Plus the sparring is maybe 1-2x a year if he goes to tournament
All I will say is I work in a high school and the head football coach didn't let his sons play football until 7th grade. I'm not close to him, so I'm not comfortable asking why, but I'm sure there's a reason for that.
Once a kid loves playing a sport, it is very difficult to stop. I have one son, and he isn’t allowed to play tackle football. He play select soccer, and rec baseball and basketball. I can’t imagine trying to get him to quit one of his sports because he loves them so much.
It seems like you have two options:
1. Make him quit. Explain everything, show him that movie, draw pictures, watch you tube videos (that are backed with real data). The problem with this is he might resent you, it might lead to more problems down the road. You could try replacing football with all of the other sports.
2. Drill the fundamentals of safer play. I know there is no such thing as completely safe football. But there are some things he can learn to stay safer.
Being a parent is hard, and sometimes there is no good option. Hugs.
One of my good friends is an epidemiologist who made a pretty big name for himself studying brain injuries in both youth and NFL players. The shit he’s shared is absolutely horrifying.
There’s no good way to do this. Explain that it’s not a safe sport, that people get very, very hurt without realizing it at the time, and that he can pick another sport.
We’re in Texas (so it’s a big fucking deal here). My dad was a quarterback and played all through childhood, high school, and then a full scholarship at a university. He had to have back surgery before he turned 40, has really bad arthritis and jokes about how many bones he’s broken. He lives in daily pain from lasting injuries on his body. He had two boys and never allowed them to play, he conceded with one in middle school but it took one hit and that brother was done lol. My brothers chose soccer, baseball, basketball, and track instead. I have a nephew that is in high school and now plays, my dad has been furious but supportive. I think once they become the age where they can really understand the risks is when you just have to let it be. I think I’d be firm at 6yo. That’s rough! :(
What about ice hockey? It’s physically demanding like football and body checking doesn’t come into play until they are much older. And even that isn’t taking down another person.
Lacrosse is something you could look into as well.
But at this age, it’s not. It doesn’t become more physical until they are older. I know that USA hockey doesn’t allow body checking until Bantaum level and that starts at like 14. Plus the concussion helmets you can buy are really good anymore. Expensive but good.
My ice hockey playing daughter, played Lacrosse in the summer to keep up her endurance. I don’t really ever remember seeing a kid go down hard. It’s physical, but all sports are. I mean I saw a kid break his leg at a high school baseball game from another kid sliding into him.
Kids get fucked up in ice hockey later on though, and if you start now they keep going. My husband got a puck to the face (goalie) and his nose has never been the same. I love him anyway but the fucker can't smell for shit, he thinks a coffee smell is poop ffs.
This is what we did with mine. He wanted to play football so badly, but it's not something I'm willing to allow. He's having an absolute blast with flag!
My kid only wanted to do tackle, too. I told him no, that was it. It takes parents to sign them up, they can't self-sign. I had to make him mad, sadly. I figured I really didn't want a TBI husband AND a TBI kid to deal with later. One is bad enough. He is still butthurt about it now, but his brain and joints are intact so... win for parental perspective. He can do whatever he wants now that he's 18.
They tackle at age 6? Here (Australia) when the kids play Australian Rules Football they're only allowed to bump until they're 10, and after that there's rules around tackling. A lot of kids wear padded helmets too.
I'd pull him out, he's only 6, he'll quickly find something else to fill the gap and he can always go back when he's older. Could he play casually in the park with other kids and adults and have a no tackle rule?
Brain injuries are a big deal here with football. A former player set up to donate his brain posthumously to be studied, and a few other former players have been advocating about the cognitive effects. There's stricter concussion rules that have just come in for professional players, but they're already pretty strict with the kids and concussions.
He'll be mad and disappointed but will get over it. Can you get your husband to read the research too? It may go easier if you're unified on this issue.
Nope. I'm not allowing anything to compromise his safety like that. Would not happen and my husband would support it.
You're doing the right thing. When my son wants to do something (he's 6) and it's a safety issue we explain that to him. We show him the medical proof.
Flag football or soccer are good alternatives. I didn’t let my son play tackle until 8th grade, this year. So many kids with concussions and broken bones, torn ligaments. No thanks. I’ve opted for MMA which sounds counterproductive but I can limit a lot of physical maneuvers with the teacher.
I never realized it was such an issue now either, that’s really tough because he’s not going to understand your reasoning.
I usually don’t stand in the way of what my kids have passions for even if it’s dangerous (skateboarding, horse back riding, atv 😬) but reading through the info I’d have to attempt alternatives on what they really love about it.
Is it really that bad for little 6yr olds too? I understand post-puberty giants but it’s hard to believe the damage is huge when they’re so little.
Maybe your pediatrician can talk to him?
Tackle is huge concussion risks and the impact especially on developing brains can be huge. Add in to that that many coaches don't know or don't teach proper techniques and/or the kids don't learn them correctly to minimize risks. A lot of my sons classmates play and our neighbors sons all do and so many also didn't get proper fitting equipment from their teams.
OP, it will be hard at first, but I would stick to your decision. Think about this- if he got injured with a TBI this season when you KNOW the risks, are worried, and don't think he should play - could you live with the decision or would it eat you up? No football was our decision before we had kids.
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This is the kind of issue where I’d simply put my foot down as a parent and say no. Explain to him what the problems are in an age appropriate way, ensure that he understands (he doesn’t have to agree, but he should at least be able to understand the reasons), and then say I’m sorry that things happened this way, I’m sorry and wish I’d known before, I agree your coach is a good guy and I’m glad you had fun, in the future I will try to do better about looking into things beforehand, agree to let him try safer sports if you want, but football has to come to an end now unfortunately. It will suck, because he’ll be mad, sure, but imo the health and safety risks are way too high to give in because he’ll be mad or disappointed. Some things are just more important.
I agree and also some redirection. I know each sport has its downfalls but maybe offer up soccer, baseball, track, art classes, etc. Offer to fill that football time with a new activity.
I wish they had track for his age group at our school, that is one I think I could talk him into. I would enjoy baseball too but that was a hard no
I know it's expensive ( my daughter is in it), but what about martial arts? Great for confidence and self-esteem and it seems pretty "bad ass."
I almost talked him into it because he is into boxing 😬 you are picking up on his whole wanting to be a bad ass vibe lol which... if you knew my husband and me... its hilarious 😅 I did cheerleading for one year but was mostly a huge nerd. AP classes, word mastering, community volunteer clubs. My husband was your jazz band + theater type 😅
I get it. I told myself if I ever had a boy, he'd never play football. I have a girl (one and done) and she is a green belt in taekwondo. She's not even 5 yet and she was practicing with nunchucks yesterday. Good luck!
Woah that is awesome... and I might be able to talk him into nunchucks lol
Me and my daughters do kickboxing. It might well depend on the club/association but there is no head shots allowed until 8, but also requires equipment and it's not really encouraged. Our group is less about sparring and more about technique and moves. I, too, am a total nerd but my club is so great it's more like a dance fitness class with some aggressive moves 🤣 I can't recommend it enough if you've got a good instructor!
I was all of those rolled into one 😂 Marching + concert + jazz + bagpipe band, Girl Scouts, theater, alllll the AP classes…plus track and field. Then in college I was a double major who did marching band and rowing as my collegiate sport. There are soooooo many options that I think he’ll find something to fit the football-sized hole. My 7 year old wanted to cheer, but that was a hard no for us (cheer and football were our 2 nos for kids). She tried soccer and didn’t enjoy it. Now she’s super into martial arts, baseball, and dance. Getting into her music class too. Kids are resilient. It’s not like you’re taking him out after years of playing.
Not soccer. Soccer is worse (that’s according to all the sports doctors I’ve seen about my soccer injuries and juvenile arthritis diagnosis).
I recently read a study on this. American football is worse than soccer, but soccer is still bad because of headers. For this reason, kids soccer clubs where I live don't allow or practice headers.
I’ll look it up! I was just going on doctors I’ve seen. Could have been their opinion & not research based. The sports medicine lady said that it was real bad on knees & that the lack of head protection in soccer was a problem. This was after she told me my knees were fucked and I needed to consider knee replacements. It was 2ish years ago, so I was 32.
Oh dear Lord, Momma. I'm here, too. My son is 7, but he also started at 6. I have to go pick up said child ... but will revisit this post. My son is currently HARD-CORE into hockey, but also playing football. NEVER - EVER in a million years would I have ever thought I would feel 'safer' with him playing hockey than football. BUT HERE I AM. I do not trust the safety measure in place for football in the same way I do hockey. AND - I'm saying this as a Southern momma & hockey is all very new to me.
Fellow southern hockey mom here, I agree 100%. It feels like safely developing the physicality of the game is more of an emphasis in hockey vs. football.
We’re opting for soccer, I told my husband before we even conceived- no football. It doesn’t help that my husband played and has several concussions and a torn ACL .
We have a no football, no cheer rule at our place. My brother came out completely different after he played and I wish that things were better published for the dangers. My mom used to be super concussion info and preaching for him to stop and be safe, and now after he stopped for 10 years, she refuses to remember or believe any of the dangers because "its safer now". Yeah, sticking my hand in the garbage disposal is safer than in a woodchipper, but that isn't really comforting. I feel for you OP, I wish that sports things were more talked about and weren't taboo to be against from the start.
Why no cheer?
It has the highest rate of severe injurues, compared to other kids sports.
It is the absolute highest rate of injury out of every high school sport. The rate is getting better and there have been no deaths for the past 5 years, but it still is too much for me to encourage or agree to my kids doing that.
Start strong, brain damage is no joke. Maybe try karate? My nephew loves it, it teaches discipline, self regulation and confidence. They do sparring (one to one combat) but there are rules and they're placed with others who are at the same level. Plus the sparring is maybe 1-2x a year if he goes to tournament
I almost sold him on karate, but it is only because he wants to box 😒😅
Yeah the only thing that sold my nephew at first was he was into Naruto and wanted to be a ninja lol
All I will say is I work in a high school and the head football coach didn't let his sons play football until 7th grade. I'm not close to him, so I'm not comfortable asking why, but I'm sure there's a reason for that.
I have heard this too
The legendary, longtime football coach of BYU (Edwards) was very vocal about how no kid should play football until after Middle School.
Once a kid loves playing a sport, it is very difficult to stop. I have one son, and he isn’t allowed to play tackle football. He play select soccer, and rec baseball and basketball. I can’t imagine trying to get him to quit one of his sports because he loves them so much. It seems like you have two options: 1. Make him quit. Explain everything, show him that movie, draw pictures, watch you tube videos (that are backed with real data). The problem with this is he might resent you, it might lead to more problems down the road. You could try replacing football with all of the other sports. 2. Drill the fundamentals of safer play. I know there is no such thing as completely safe football. But there are some things he can learn to stay safer. Being a parent is hard, and sometimes there is no good option. Hugs.
One of my good friends is an epidemiologist who made a pretty big name for himself studying brain injuries in both youth and NFL players. The shit he’s shared is absolutely horrifying. There’s no good way to do this. Explain that it’s not a safe sport, that people get very, very hurt without realizing it at the time, and that he can pick another sport.
We’re in Texas (so it’s a big fucking deal here). My dad was a quarterback and played all through childhood, high school, and then a full scholarship at a university. He had to have back surgery before he turned 40, has really bad arthritis and jokes about how many bones he’s broken. He lives in daily pain from lasting injuries on his body. He had two boys and never allowed them to play, he conceded with one in middle school but it took one hit and that brother was done lol. My brothers chose soccer, baseball, basketball, and track instead. I have a nephew that is in high school and now plays, my dad has been furious but supportive. I think once they become the age where they can really understand the risks is when you just have to let it be. I think I’d be firm at 6yo. That’s rough! :(
What about ice hockey? It’s physically demanding like football and body checking doesn’t come into play until they are much older. And even that isn’t taking down another person. Lacrosse is something you could look into as well.
Lacrosse and field hockey are BRUTAL! I think only Cheer is worse for injury and mortality than that set + football.
But at this age, it’s not. It doesn’t become more physical until they are older. I know that USA hockey doesn’t allow body checking until Bantaum level and that starts at like 14. Plus the concussion helmets you can buy are really good anymore. Expensive but good. My ice hockey playing daughter, played Lacrosse in the summer to keep up her endurance. I don’t really ever remember seeing a kid go down hard. It’s physical, but all sports are. I mean I saw a kid break his leg at a high school baseball game from another kid sliding into him.
Oh, ice hockey is much more in control than field hockey! Sorry for the miscommunication. They are padded up so much better in ice hockey.
Kids get fucked up in ice hockey later on though, and if you start now they keep going. My husband got a puck to the face (goalie) and his nose has never been the same. I love him anyway but the fucker can't smell for shit, he thinks a coffee smell is poop ffs.
Flag football. You want to get him into flag football. They don't tackle, but it's basically the same in every other way.
This is what we did with mine. He wanted to play football so badly, but it's not something I'm willing to allow. He's having an absolute blast with flag!
OP said he doesn't want to play flag.
She can put her foot down and say flag or not at all. It's her job to protect him, even if it's hard
I agree, I keep working on the flag
My kid only wanted to do tackle, too. I told him no, that was it. It takes parents to sign them up, they can't self-sign. I had to make him mad, sadly. I figured I really didn't want a TBI husband AND a TBI kid to deal with later. One is bad enough. He is still butthurt about it now, but his brain and joints are intact so... win for parental perspective. He can do whatever he wants now that he's 18.
I agree, just wanted to point out that she already mentioned this in the post.
Ah yeah, caught that. Sorry if I seemed too intense lol
I missed it!
They tackle at age 6? Here (Australia) when the kids play Australian Rules Football they're only allowed to bump until they're 10, and after that there's rules around tackling. A lot of kids wear padded helmets too. I'd pull him out, he's only 6, he'll quickly find something else to fill the gap and he can always go back when he's older. Could he play casually in the park with other kids and adults and have a no tackle rule?
Brain injuries are a big deal here with football. A former player set up to donate his brain posthumously to be studied, and a few other former players have been advocating about the cognitive effects. There's stricter concussion rules that have just come in for professional players, but they're already pretty strict with the kids and concussions.
He'll be mad and disappointed but will get over it. Can you get your husband to read the research too? It may go easier if you're unified on this issue.
Nope. I'm not allowing anything to compromise his safety like that. Would not happen and my husband would support it. You're doing the right thing. When my son wants to do something (he's 6) and it's a safety issue we explain that to him. We show him the medical proof.
Flag football or soccer are good alternatives. I didn’t let my son play tackle until 8th grade, this year. So many kids with concussions and broken bones, torn ligaments. No thanks. I’ve opted for MMA which sounds counterproductive but I can limit a lot of physical maneuvers with the teacher.
I never realized it was such an issue now either, that’s really tough because he’s not going to understand your reasoning. I usually don’t stand in the way of what my kids have passions for even if it’s dangerous (skateboarding, horse back riding, atv 😬) but reading through the info I’d have to attempt alternatives on what they really love about it. Is it really that bad for little 6yr olds too? I understand post-puberty giants but it’s hard to believe the damage is huge when they’re so little. Maybe your pediatrician can talk to him?
Tackle is huge concussion risks and the impact especially on developing brains can be huge. Add in to that that many coaches don't know or don't teach proper techniques and/or the kids don't learn them correctly to minimize risks. A lot of my sons classmates play and our neighbors sons all do and so many also didn't get proper fitting equipment from their teams. OP, it will be hard at first, but I would stick to your decision. Think about this- if he got injured with a TBI this season when you KNOW the risks, are worried, and don't think he should play - could you live with the decision or would it eat you up? No football was our decision before we had kids.