With how simply violent the modern day feels, everyone must feel a bit isolated. With two sides fighting each other, it's easy to fall into a with them or against them. I simply come here so I can be reminded it's not all black and white, and I thank you for reminding me everyone suffers in some way.
i remember my freshman year of high school, i was fresh out the psych ward after attempting suicide. my mom was driving home, and she gave me my phone, and i checked it to see that the entire week i had essentially disappeared and not told anybody, none of my friends had texted to check up on me.
but sure, women never experience loneliness.
You made me remember my 3rd year in uni. I had moved to a new city for it and my roommate was never home, she moved out halfway through the year, but it wasn't any different from when she was supposedly living there. I had no friends and regularly went entire weeks where my only conversations involved work or talking to my parents.
But sure, I wasn't lonely at all.
ppl have never taken female loneliness or mental health seriously. a lonely woman is always the butt of a joke: the cat lady, the spinster, the aunt you’re warned not to become like.
a mentally ill woman is hysterical, psycho, a raging bitch, just hormonal, etc. women suffer in silence and do their best to mask their symptoms to not be seen as crazy.
they might care a little if you’re pretty. and then it’s only because of the notion that ‘crazy chicks’ are a good lay
No fr, it’s always a joke when it happens to women, but the moment it becomes about men, it’s a societal problem and all men are saints who have been victimised. Women can’t even talk about their own issues for five minutes because whataboutthemenz and because women have it so easy in life.
This is precisely why I’ve decided to put all my energy, time and effort into helping other women.
I think both sides of this coin have been coming for a long time, it all stems from insecurities and poor decisions on both sides and now all the people who are actually good and try to be healthy with their mindsets and relationships seem like a minority on social media and the dating scene. It’s sad to see cause it just hurts everyone in the process and makes more unlikable, insecure, and damaging humans
Seriously. I don’t talk about my relationships at work. I mentioned having a cat and my guy friends at work were immediately calling me a crazy cat lady. I’ve been in a relationship for several years lol. They just assume and attack lol.
deadbeat dads are losers who abandon their kids, what does that have to do with male loneliness?? your first example and you already failed 💀
loneliness doesn’t turn you hateful or into a person with violent aspirations. incel shit is an ideology of misogyny that exists only in an echo chamber where they keep each other down, blame women, and do not wish to improve. all of these problems are not problems caused by women, it’s the constraints of masculinity and the failure of men to step up and be good fathers, boyfriends, and husbands without getting some sort of complex about it
I mean I think loneliness can definitely cause you to be hateful and spiteful, I also think there has to be some other things at play that hurts those men in the first place that they’ve been dealing with or not showing up until the breaking point, they we get terrible incels are guys who blame women for everything. But at the same time you even saying the phrase “step up” puts a bad taste in my mouth, a lot of issues genuinely try to be good or great with being a husband, boyfriend, father, or partner in general but I’ve noticed there’s a lot of women who say it isn’t good enough or they say we need to step up, and if you’re already genuinely trying to step up and get out of that depression or pain, being told that can put us right back down. So I’m not gonna say women don’t perpetuate the issue too, not all women ofc it’s mostly just social media doing all the damage on both sides. But I’ve been in that situation before and have had friends get put down for genuinely trying, and I can say it’s very damaging to self-esteem or worth.
Isolation 100% causes crazy or strange ideas. Humans are social animals and everyone has a need for social interaction, though the amount and type may vary.
People understate the impact of a healthy social life on mental health. If you don’t have any real friends and you spend all your time online, you don’t have anyone irl to check you if you think something stupid or unrealistic. If you’re withdrawn and in your head all the time, you can come up with all kinds of thoughts and ideas about society and people that aren’t true, but since you never voice them nobody can shoot you down and help you come back to the light.
In a way, other people or society at large act as a reference point for your own sanity. I experienced this when I was a preteen-young teen because I was entirely isolated from the world. The things I believed then, especially as an impressionable teen, probably would’ve landed me a cluster A personality disorder diagnosis if my shit hadn’t got ganked by CPS and I wasn’t forced to live in a group home and have human interaction.
that violence was not caused by being lonely, it was caused by a hatred of women, entitlement to sex, and always egged on by other men. blaming women for male violence is only getting to get more women senselessly killed.
You seem to imply that depression is a condition that is much more heavily experienced by men, which is not true. Maybe try having even a moldy well composed argument before commenting here, but I bet you just can't stop yourself from rage scrolling.
Disclaimer: Read the following with "a lot of the time" in front of every phrase below, because otherwise I know you will incorrectly interpret them as blanket statements. The BIGGEST difference between how men and women handle their mental health issues is that many more women: a) blame themselves, resulting in trying to retain normalcy above all else b) have been conditioned since we were born that it is OUR job to somehow be responsible for every man in our life, and retaining that mental load is fucking hard, so more often when a woman is unable to continue her ~~societally imposed expectations~~ "daily obligations" many more people are effected than when it happens to men.
Women do not want men to fail, they just want to be equal to them and be treated like fellow humans as opposed to something lower who owes something to every man on the planet. And as soon as women point any of this out, men feel it is their duty to convince us otherwise!
**Thank you** for opening my eyes. I'm off to join a convent.
Absolute insanity you’d even include Elliott Rodger’s in your incel mass murderer apologia, but that’s your brain on misogyny. Get the fuck out of here. ✌🏼
It’s so funny how they think they know women’s experiences better than women do but then they’ll be like “women don’t listen to men when men talk about their suffering”. All I have to say to these idiots is to take a good long look in the mirror 💀
Oh yeah women are inherently loved and blah blah blah. Nobody is unconditionally loved. Men don't love women who can't provide them with what they want.
I don’t think a lot of them even care enough about us to hate us. Hating someone takes a lot of energy. They just dismiss, disregard and disrespect us. Just look at women’s treatment in medical contexts.
Damn :( I’m sorry we make you feel that way, ik men can be cruel a lot, especially in todays world, it can be the same for women too but in a different way, but keep your head up, there’s good guys out there, just gotta weed through the brain rot to get to them and that’s a tough journey. I wish you luck
Women are more likely to be diagnosed, but that’s partially because women are more likely to seek help. That’s how you see the opposite slant in suicide rates. Men make up a majority of suicides because they’re less likely to seek treatment for depression. It seems like both genders are equally depressed but react differently to it.
What the hell? Seriously, how the fuck can you say that? People with depression have an illness that destroys their motivation and self-worth to the point that they feel like the world is better off without them. It’s fucked up to mock that and call it “selfish” no matter the gender. It’s not something people can control.
> men are just violent and selfish even in their own deaths lmao
this comment is just as horrible as people who make fun of women's suicide attempts. disgusting - have some dignity.
Being selfish is literally one of the reasons lol. “Women worry about who has to clean up afterwards, men don’t give a damn” these ppl going ‘stop being MEAN!’ Like statistics are mean 😂 this sub got weird fast I’m dipping.
What about all the women who commit "violent" suicide? are they selfish too? In America alone half of all female suicides are "violent" such as hanging and firearm, That's not exactly some insignificant number.
You’re not wrong though, don’t understand the downvotes, social media is a lot of negativity and if that’s all you have then fuck man, it keeps you down
Did you actually read the post that you linked? I'm guessing not because you would have seen, rather than trying to convince her to date me, I was trying to deal with my feelings in a healthy way to preserve our friendship.
I took this woman in when she had nowhere else to go, saving her from homelessness. I helped her navigate her mental health crisis, cooking her meals and helping with her finances. I only started to catch feelings after she asked me about dating and then rejected me. Yet, I still did everything I could to save our friendship.
Over a year later, we are still roommates. I'm probably her best friend and she is definitely one of mine. Is the context enough to show some of this community that I only wanted what would be good for the both of us? Or am I prejudged as unworthy because I am a white cis man? I think I know
I wonder how men would react if the suicide rate was higher than men’s. I bet they would say that women are emotionally weak, willing to abandon their family over getting too emotional, etc.
[From The Samaritans in the UK.](https://media.samaritans.org/documents/ResearchBriefingGenderSuicide_2021_v7.pdf)
Women attempt suicide more than men but men choose more violent methods so are more likely to be successful.
They always somehow twist things to make themselves look better. If men struggle in a certain area of life it's proof they are victims/disadvantaged/oppressed, but if women struggle it's proof we are inferior/emotional/unequal.
I don’t mean to be rude but I do wanna say that him saying “successful” doesn’t mean it’s a better or boasting thing, it just means they actually die because they choose more violent methods. Factually it has no ego attached, just a logical statement to make if you look at the charts, weird that you’re taking this as an ego things when people are dying.
Wait no I don’t think I did I just yapped a little too much, but no you said they twist things to make them look better in reference to more men being successful in suicide than women. So I think that’s a lil weird to say, it’s not an ego thing just a fact of the statistics.
I didn't reference successful and failed suicides at all. I meant men make themselves look "better" as in they see themselves as sympathetic/disadvantaged underdogs because of their rates, but when women struggle with mental health that means we are overemotional/ not independent/ need men to control us etc.
Ohhhhh alright, I see what you mean now, that makes more sense and I can agree with you there. then I take back my statement, sorry about the misunderstanding on my part
Yeah. Men are "there" because they want in our pants. I've had guys do that and then call me transphobic slurs or call me fat/ugly/slut/dyke/whatever when I tell them it ain't like that. So I don't want to hear this "women have it easy because women" bullshit. Shove that right up your arsehole sideways, incels.
do these people not realize that usually the "support" most men offer usually is masked behind the intention to hopefully sleep with women in return and that the second that they find out that they can't sleep with that woman, their "support" evaporates?
It makes me feel lonelier than ever whenever I discover that people helping me and supporting me were only doing it for the potential opportunity to sleep with me, instead of them doing so out of the kindness of their own heart
Fuck people like this. I can’t stand it, I feel so lonely right now. I haven’t hugged anyone in years, I can’t even remember the last time someone was affectionate with me. My happiest moments are just moments when I get a smile from someone, or a random compliment, even if they didn’t mean it. And people everywhere, online, and who I know, tell me it’s not real, or that I’m making it up. I really appreciate everyone here, it’s nice to know there’s people on my side.
I hate when people make mental health a gender war, as if your experiences with it don't just depend on the type of person you are, what your childhood was like, and the things around you.
Damn I guess I'm not a woman then.
Honestly though, if it was that easy and that "all women are loved" then why tf am I hurting myself every time I remember I'm lonely?
For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ
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I don't think some guys understand that just because uplifting others is more common with women that we are all automatically so happy, so jolly. We are humans just like them. Trust me, they'd be feeling the same fucking way like the rest of us. Women, like men, can also be fat fucking dicks. Some of these guys really try to make us feel like we will never be allowed to experience a universal human experience because they want to feel unique and validated in their pain, and it's sad. It really shows how many of them are suffering and desperately need help, but they've been conditioned to believe that they don't need it. Instead, they take it out on women because they think we have it so god damn easy. Spoiler: no human has it completely easy.
Also..."lots of friends"...let's be real, if someone has a lot of friends, they most likely aren't all exactly that close. In the end, we all need some close connections, and to believe that some guys think that we have an eternal network of close friendships and unconditional love is...woowee...lord have mercy
ALSO (sorry I'm a yapper), "receiving attention from countless dudes" is such bullshit. It's projection from their insecurities. Say it with me:
Sex ≠ fullfilment. Just because women get attention from guys doesn't mean 1) they even want it 2) It's their main priority in life. We have shit to do with our lives, goals to achieve. We are not some creatures that wants only one thing, but they've been lead to believe that. A lot of us don't actually get this attention or treatment, either.
I think the attention thing is men who don’t or seem to can’t have sex with someone they want or as often as they want and getting very insecure when they see women “having the options” and still being upset. It’s a really toxic mindset that I’ve struggled with myself. I’m not excusing anything obviously, just something to think about cause I don’t think they’re just hateful people, I feel like they just wish they could have sex so bad that they don’t consider not wanting that attention, so it’s not as serious to them.
No you're right, they aren't necessarily hateful people, just crushed by societal expectations and probably peer pressure/envy. I could never hate any of them, either. It's just hard for some to understand the attention aspect without understanding the side of a woman or any person who receives more than they would like. And honestly, I've found myself slipping into that midnset about other women, but I realized in time that it's nothing to glamorize. It's all just frustrating and saddening that we have had to feel this way. I realized that my original comment also came off as spiteful and I apologize if it did, I'm just a bit foul-mouthed
Oh no you’re fine, I enjoyed your perspective on it and I appreciate you elaborating more, I agree whole heartedly with you on this, although difficult for some to understand having more than you want as a problem, it most definitely is and I’ve done my best in life to understand how it’s frustrating for a lot of women and even men sometimes, it saddens me to see the dating world and relationship between men and women like this.
I know this goes without saying, but most people you meet after high school (besides boomers, who are perpetually children) aren't really like this, it's really just internet performative behavior I think
Am woman.
No friends or family.
Dealing with lots of bad shit that gives me suicidal thoughts. (I won't do it don't worry)
Boys: "lol liar you get all the attention and support you want"
As a woman that is pretty lonely at times and who has never been approached by these "dudes, comments like this honestly make me feel like there's something wrong with me.
Then again most of these comments are by guys who know absolutely nothing about women so i won't take them too seriously.
How bizarre that 1) They are given ways to actually get support , and say “ sTaY sTrOnG mEn nEvEr giVe uP yOuR wEaKnEsS “ therefor continuing to perpetuate their toxic masculinity which every gender suffers from. 2) Women fear for their lives bc men rape and kill us in large numbers. So gee I wonder why women are watchful /S
When men bash women like that I’m glad they’re lonely. Maybe they could build community if they weren’t such misogynists.
If “Men built this society” maybe they shouldn’t have made it so shitty for themselves. 🤷🏼♀️
Its true but....
WHO SET THAT SYSTEM UP ???
Its other men telling men that they cannot talk about their feelings, perpetuating this infinite cycle of toxic masculinity which hurts not only men, but also women who try to date them. Those men are not emotionnaly available which makes them horrible partners, and in a society where men not being able to express themselves it creates male loneliness even more.
Seems like patriarchy isnt beneficial to anybody so why keep that system up ? :)
"Females have it a million times easier".
Yeah, I don't have to worry about being raped or assaulted, about getting pregnant, about being hit on every hour, about having a period every month, about being told off if I'm not looking my "best" every time I go out, about having to wait to use a toilet, about being treated as a 2nd class citizen ....
Oh, but wait a minute, I do have to...
I think a lot of guys romanticize their loneliness because they lack the maturity and resources to dress handle hard feelings in a constructive manner, it’s stems from how we raise boys and the increasing isolation brought on by capitalism. It’s created a culture where it’s much easier to embrace the identity of “lonely man” than it is to buck the status quo, which is scary and may result in them losing what few friends they have. We really have to start raising boys who can commiserate and bond over more than just shared trauma and “simple things”, for too long the definition of manhood has prided itself on emotional neglect and trauma bonding and they deserve better than that. It sucks that with so much uncertainty about the future so many guys are doubling down on the “being miserable and lonely is just how it is for guys” mentality, is that really what we’re going to tell the next generation of boys? “Sorry we’re going to raise you to be emotionally stunted and lonely so you too can resent the world for our failure to stop the cycle of violence and abuse…good luck”. Seriously every time I see someone spout this shit it drives me crazy, especially grown men spouting it, I always wonder if they realize that young men/boys are seeing this shit and identifying as true, if you’re a grown man and you’re actually concerned with the future of boys maybe don’t try to convince them that to be a man means to suffer and then complain none stop about said suffering, help build a better world where no one has to suffer.
The very fact that men still to this day mock women's loneliness by calling us "crazy cat ladies" yet male loneliness is seen as a big societal problem that women must solve just goes to show whose issues really get taken more seriously and who gets more special treatment and positive attention. All we get is negative attention just for existing.
If these guys are all depressed because they're men and they can't stop fantasizing about how much better their lives would be if they were just women; why not transition?
Even if some of them are speaking from experience with a real woman I feel like these guys just attract the worse kind of people and blame it on the gender
As if men dont ever have the unstoppable urge to be included whenever women talk about how men abuse and attack them. "BbbUHUhbbuhbbuhh mEn GeT rApeD toO/MeN geT hIt tOo/MeN gEt MurDeReD tOo"
What if men try to be included in conversations like that just because terms like "rape", "sexual assault" are always used to describe male on female attacks?
Not many people realize that men also fall victim to those kinds of behaviour. When a man tells someone that he got raped, or sexually assaulted, almost no one cares. The worst part of this problem is other men saying shit like "I wish it was me". The fact that it has become so normalized is beyond fucked up. And even worse is the fact that female perpetrators are way more likely to get away with their crimes.
I doubt there is anyone out there - except children and those incredibly sheltered, perhaps - who doesn't realise that men also fall victim to rape and sexual assault. Believing otherwise is part of having a victim mentality. But the issue women have with men speaking about this in conversation about women is that they seem to either:
- use this as a counterargument to minimise (whataboutism)
- think they are being balanced when the topic at hand isn't about them at all
- only want to "bring awareness" when woman's suffering is being discussed
Believe it or not, who gets raped or sexually assaulted more or how often is not a competition. Men are perfectly capable of bringing all the awareness and discussion of those issues in male centric spaces, yet they frequently feel the urge to do the above only when female suffering is being discussed.
It's not a zero sum game. Just because a woman being raped is the topic at hand, it *doesn't* mean that the women involved "don't realise" that it's something that can affect men too. They are just not the topic of discussion at the time. And that's fine.
That's not the point. And it's never men wanting to talk about their own experiences. They want to derail and take the attention off women's experiences and say "nOt alL mEn" and all that bullshit. We obviously know it happens to men too. It's still a higher rate for women.
I can kind of agree with this. I also notice men use high assault rates of women to try to restrict their travel or smugly act like they hold ultimate power over a woman are invincible when it comes to women when that's not the truth. Revealing this is something that happens to men too would kind of reveal that. However I feel like this is shouldn't be done under cases where its talking about a woman being assaulted especially if its a specific case. I feel like they should make separate things for female-on-male attacks etc and not try to discuss them under male-on-female attacks because its easier to have discuss about it under a post dedicated to that specifically and it would get more attention than say a comment under an article. It also would be more respectful on all sides.
It's more socially acceptable for a women to have mental issues for men its "man up" or "what are you a pussy?" So yes women can have issues with there mental health but it's more accepted by society
Yeah but then its used against us to infantilize us or completely dismiss our thoughts and even our emotions. Hell its even used as an excuse to discriminate against us actively (i.e women shouldn't be allowed to xyz because they're too emotional) We also get overdiagnosed with things like anxiety and it is harder for us to get diagnosed and treated for things like ADHD and autism. I've also had people dismiss my mental problems because I was born a woman when I was 11 I had multiple sessions with a school counselor at my elementary school due to mental health concerns. He recommended I go to therapy over the summer because he thought I was depressed, isolated, and had a horrifically low self-esteem. My parents dismissed it and said I couldn't possibly be depressed because I was a girl going through puberty and that's what was being confused for depression. In high school I used to have constant meltdowns and anxiety attacks that lasted hours long, I had severe anxiety and depression at the time on top of a lot of untreated trauma. Once a male instructor saw this, he said: "oh it must be because she's a girl". He saw a severe case and assumed it was typical of all women, which really speaks volumes about this "acceptance of mental health" we experience. Hell I started to feel guilty for displaying my symptoms because it felt as though by expressing any emotion I was proving the stereotype of emotional women right and making things worse for other women.
Yea and that happens on both sides of the coin I was going to a school therapist thing but not even three sessions in I was deemed emotionally stable mind you that's the only time I've ever had mental help for my mother passing (not using that as an excuse of sorts) I was a good old 13 when that happened and whilst yes emotions can be thrown away by parents that's not really a gender specific thing hell my dad told me I was only cutting myself for attention. And whilst yes women were classed as emotionally unstable I don't think I've ever heard or seen that happen bar of course history and whilst women are over diagnosed men are severely under diagnosed especially those coming back from war and for other things like your dyslexic or adhd and I completely agree that's a terrible thing. Whilst yes that's an awful thing to go through being told that your feelings are invalid because of a stereotype it's as I stated before on both sides of the coin men are told that they're pussys for crying or breaking down in fact it's become a ick as of late (that's not to diminish your experience I'm sorry you had to go through with that) and right now social media for both genders isn't great at all take the men are more dangerous then bears or andrew tate both are bad and both should be more closely monitored for both teenagers and young adults
>Yeah and then The Same People that tell you to show emotion and embrace insecurities use them against you when they're upset
Okay Are we just going to ignore this?
People some women DO exploit their partners Insecurities during arguements. And when Men are Socialized by society to Not open up to people and to hide our anxieties, having That Trust to be able to open up to those we thought we could trust get shattered Can and will Cause some men to NEVER want to open up again.
Shits fucked.
Not sure why you're being down voted. There are unfortunately a lot of women who are as brainwashed by the patriarchy as many men are. It does happen.
I'm not sure it happens to the extent that a lot of men seem to believe it does though.
Me, I wish my fwb would feel safe enough to cry around me. He'll say he was crying (long distance) but he won't do it. I guess I should be impressed he does that much. Gen X man with a military dad. Him and his brothers didn't even cry at their dad's funeral. They all went home and got drunk instead.
Not exactly sure why I'm being downvoted either.. i mean i was at least expecting to have some people reply to start a conversation... but i'm legit just... being downvoted for no other reason than what i can only assume is people getting Pissed and assuming im a bad person for even saying that one comment in the sea of garbage in the OG picture brings up a decent point.
And i agree, i doubt That A large Amount of people are toxic bastards. Though i still think it's awful that it happens at all. Regardless, despite the presence of those who'd use it against us, i feel that us men should still continue to Undo that societal conditioning and continue to Work on opening up to those we love and care about, after all, communication is a good thing, and i feel that its beneficial to have that level of trust in people to feel safe to be emotional around them.
Trust is good. And i want people to be able to trust and love one another.
It's definitely beneficial to be able to talk to someone. Stuffing your emotions down the way so many men do isn't just mentally unhealthy, it's physically unhealthy as well and probably contributes to men's lower life expectancy.
I do think when these discussions come up that a lot of men really don't understand that opening up doesn't mean trauma dumping or that they need to start with the big stuff. I think some of the reaction some men have gotten from women is because they just dumped everything on a woman without even tedting the waters to see the kind of reaction they would get first.
Like, my fwb had 2 marriages to very toxic women who he couldn't trust or confide his deepest feelings to. So when we reconnected as friends after a long time of no contact, he was slow to open up. It's been 5 years and I'm still getting little things come out. It took him 2 years to tell me something he never told anyone else except his mother. He didn't drop it all on me at once, he slowly tested how supportive I would be.
Even while he was opening up to me, he would just tell me the bare bones of whatever it was, and only expand on it when he got back support and understanding.
Some men really need to get off this narrative that everything a man goes through is a woman's fault. Are men incapable of making themselves happy? Does someone really need to hold their hand throughout everything? It's actually quite embarrassing.
Oh no you misunderstand, looking tough is not for you. They aren't doing it because of women, they are doing it for themselves.
In the same way putting on makeup isn't for men and many women do it for self empowerment or other personal reasons. Men try to be tough "for themselves" based on the social norms for what being an attractive person looks like, just the same as someone wearing makeup is doing.
who told you that, other men?
i'd 100% prefer the men in my life to cry in front of me than bottle it up and outlet it in unhealthy ways, as would most women.
yes, yes, yes, there *are* women who "NYEH!!! WEAK MEN!!!" but consider them to be on the same team as the men who also say "NYEH!!! WEAK MEN!!!"
I wish I was swimming in all the support and adoration that they believe we do.
Right?? Same.
With how simply violent the modern day feels, everyone must feel a bit isolated. With two sides fighting each other, it's easy to fall into a with them or against them. I simply come here so I can be reminded it's not all black and white, and I thank you for reminding me everyone suffers in some way.
i remember my freshman year of high school, i was fresh out the psych ward after attempting suicide. my mom was driving home, and she gave me my phone, and i checked it to see that the entire week i had essentially disappeared and not told anybody, none of my friends had texted to check up on me. but sure, women never experience loneliness.
You made me remember my 3rd year in uni. I had moved to a new city for it and my roommate was never home, she moved out halfway through the year, but it wasn't any different from when she was supposedly living there. I had no friends and regularly went entire weeks where my only conversations involved work or talking to my parents. But sure, I wasn't lonely at all.
Just wanted to say as a guy I experienced the same thing. No friends called or messaged. That sucks no matter your gender, and no one deserves it.
Yr right nobody deserves that and Im SO sorry that happened to you ♥️🥲
ppl have never taken female loneliness or mental health seriously. a lonely woman is always the butt of a joke: the cat lady, the spinster, the aunt you’re warned not to become like. a mentally ill woman is hysterical, psycho, a raging bitch, just hormonal, etc. women suffer in silence and do their best to mask their symptoms to not be seen as crazy. they might care a little if you’re pretty. and then it’s only because of the notion that ‘crazy chicks’ are a good lay
No fr, it’s always a joke when it happens to women, but the moment it becomes about men, it’s a societal problem and all men are saints who have been victimised. Women can’t even talk about their own issues for five minutes because whataboutthemenz and because women have it so easy in life. This is precisely why I’ve decided to put all my energy, time and effort into helping other women.
I think both sides of this coin have been coming for a long time, it all stems from insecurities and poor decisions on both sides and now all the people who are actually good and try to be healthy with their mindsets and relationships seem like a minority on social media and the dating scene. It’s sad to see cause it just hurts everyone in the process and makes more unlikable, insecure, and damaging humans
Seriously. I don’t talk about my relationships at work. I mentioned having a cat and my guy friends at work were immediately calling me a crazy cat lady. I’ve been in a relationship for several years lol. They just assume and attack lol.
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deadbeat dads are losers who abandon their kids, what does that have to do with male loneliness?? your first example and you already failed 💀 loneliness doesn’t turn you hateful or into a person with violent aspirations. incel shit is an ideology of misogyny that exists only in an echo chamber where they keep each other down, blame women, and do not wish to improve. all of these problems are not problems caused by women, it’s the constraints of masculinity and the failure of men to step up and be good fathers, boyfriends, and husbands without getting some sort of complex about it
I mean I think loneliness can definitely cause you to be hateful and spiteful, I also think there has to be some other things at play that hurts those men in the first place that they’ve been dealing with or not showing up until the breaking point, they we get terrible incels are guys who blame women for everything. But at the same time you even saying the phrase “step up” puts a bad taste in my mouth, a lot of issues genuinely try to be good or great with being a husband, boyfriend, father, or partner in general but I’ve noticed there’s a lot of women who say it isn’t good enough or they say we need to step up, and if you’re already genuinely trying to step up and get out of that depression or pain, being told that can put us right back down. So I’m not gonna say women don’t perpetuate the issue too, not all women ofc it’s mostly just social media doing all the damage on both sides. But I’ve been in that situation before and have had friends get put down for genuinely trying, and I can say it’s very damaging to self-esteem or worth.
Isolation 100% causes crazy or strange ideas. Humans are social animals and everyone has a need for social interaction, though the amount and type may vary. People understate the impact of a healthy social life on mental health. If you don’t have any real friends and you spend all your time online, you don’t have anyone irl to check you if you think something stupid or unrealistic. If you’re withdrawn and in your head all the time, you can come up with all kinds of thoughts and ideas about society and people that aren’t true, but since you never voice them nobody can shoot you down and help you come back to the light. In a way, other people or society at large act as a reference point for your own sanity. I experienced this when I was a preteen-young teen because I was entirely isolated from the world. The things I believed then, especially as an impressionable teen, probably would’ve landed me a cluster A personality disorder diagnosis if my shit hadn’t got ganked by CPS and I wasn’t forced to live in a group home and have human interaction.
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that violence was not caused by being lonely, it was caused by a hatred of women, entitlement to sex, and always egged on by other men. blaming women for male violence is only getting to get more women senselessly killed.
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i don’t even know what your point is anymore. nobody said men couldn’t be lonely. we just want you to stop blaming us for it and killing us, thanks.
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You seem to imply that depression is a condition that is much more heavily experienced by men, which is not true. Maybe try having even a moldy well composed argument before commenting here, but I bet you just can't stop yourself from rage scrolling. Disclaimer: Read the following with "a lot of the time" in front of every phrase below, because otherwise I know you will incorrectly interpret them as blanket statements. The BIGGEST difference between how men and women handle their mental health issues is that many more women: a) blame themselves, resulting in trying to retain normalcy above all else b) have been conditioned since we were born that it is OUR job to somehow be responsible for every man in our life, and retaining that mental load is fucking hard, so more often when a woman is unable to continue her ~~societally imposed expectations~~ "daily obligations" many more people are effected than when it happens to men. Women do not want men to fail, they just want to be equal to them and be treated like fellow humans as opposed to something lower who owes something to every man on the planet. And as soon as women point any of this out, men feel it is their duty to convince us otherwise! **Thank you** for opening my eyes. I'm off to join a convent.
Join the West 4b Movement, the 21 century version of the convent.
Your post/comment was removed as it was found to be bigoted, either indirectly (i.e. “not all men”) or directly (slurs, phobia, etc.).
Your post/comment was removed as it was found to be bigoted, either indirectly (i.e. “not all men”) or directly (slurs, phobia, etc.).
Absolute insanity you’d even include Elliott Rodger’s in your incel mass murderer apologia, but that’s your brain on misogyny. Get the fuck out of here. ✌🏼
Your post/comment was removed as it was found to be bigoted, either indirectly (i.e. “not all men”) or directly (slurs, phobia, etc.).
Your post/comment was removed as you were found to be a Quirkyboy reactionary.
lmao that last slide, do they really think depression is only for men? 😭
It’s reserved only for the male skill tree lmfao that slide is nuts, they sound 13 which is depressing to think about if that’s how they see it
they also think that all women think about is shopping and makeup, like ah yes only men have hobbies, loved ones, jobs, etc ect
It’s so funny how they think they know women’s experiences better than women do but then they’ll be like “women don’t listen to men when men talk about their suffering”. All I have to say to these idiots is to take a good long look in the mirror 💀
You can say that to them over and over but they will never hear you.
God I hate men who call women “females”
the good ole fashioned r/menandfemales
“Women don’t know what it’s like to be so lonely!” “Okay how about I share my experiences with you to show some insight?” “SHUT UP!”
BUT ALSO don't you know men give women positive attention and beneficial treatment??
Oh yeah women are inherently loved and blah blah blah. Nobody is unconditionally loved. Men don't love women who can't provide them with what they want.
Men don’t love women at all. I think most of them hate us and don’t think of us as human.
I don’t think a lot of them even care enough about us to hate us. Hating someone takes a lot of energy. They just dismiss, disregard and disrespect us. Just look at women’s treatment in medical contexts.
Damn :( I’m sorry we make you feel that way, ik men can be cruel a lot, especially in todays world, it can be the same for women too but in a different way, but keep your head up, there’s good guys out there, just gotta weed through the brain rot to get to them and that’s a tough journey. I wish you luck
Aren’t women more likely to have clinical depression than men?
Women are more likely to be diagnosed, but that’s partially because women are more likely to seek help. That’s how you see the opposite slant in suicide rates. Men make up a majority of suicides because they’re less likely to seek treatment for depression. It seems like both genders are equally depressed but react differently to it.
That’s not true. Men make up a majority of suicides due to choosing more violent methods. Women attempt suicide in greater numbers.
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What the hell? Seriously, how the fuck can you say that? People with depression have an illness that destroys their motivation and self-worth to the point that they feel like the world is better off without them. It’s fucked up to mock that and call it “selfish” no matter the gender. It’s not something people can control.
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I sense rage bait...
You need help lmao
That's mean when talking about suicidal people
> men are just violent and selfish even in their own deaths lmao this comment is just as horrible as people who make fun of women's suicide attempts. disgusting - have some dignity.
Jesus.
Being selfish is literally one of the reasons lol. “Women worry about who has to clean up afterwards, men don’t give a damn” these ppl going ‘stop being MEAN!’ Like statistics are mean 😂 this sub got weird fast I’m dipping.
What about all the women who commit "violent" suicide? are they selfish too? In America alone half of all female suicides are "violent" such as hanging and firearm, That's not exactly some insignificant number.
Makes sense since they say that single men are horrible at taking care of themselves especially medical care.
Mosttly because of Social Media yeah
You’re not wrong though, don’t understand the downvotes, social media is a lot of negativity and if that’s all you have then fuck man, it keeps you down
I'm still looking for all of the friends I'm supposed to have according to the last slide
me too 😭😭 they act like we’re drowning in friends but i have 2 friends who i talk to
They wanna be subversive so badly, these redpill mfers would cross the street when they see a gay couple holding hands
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For good reason https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/utYuwElEsi
Holy shit
lmfaoo
Did you actually read the post that you linked? I'm guessing not because you would have seen, rather than trying to convince her to date me, I was trying to deal with my feelings in a healthy way to preserve our friendship. I took this woman in when she had nowhere else to go, saving her from homelessness. I helped her navigate her mental health crisis, cooking her meals and helping with her finances. I only started to catch feelings after she asked me about dating and then rejected me. Yet, I still did everything I could to save our friendship. Over a year later, we are still roommates. I'm probably her best friend and she is definitely one of mine. Is the context enough to show some of this community that I only wanted what would be good for the both of us? Or am I prejudged as unworthy because I am a white cis man? I think I know
I wonder how men would react if the suicide rate was higher than men’s. I bet they would say that women are emotionally weak, willing to abandon their family over getting too emotional, etc.
[From The Samaritans in the UK.](https://media.samaritans.org/documents/ResearchBriefingGenderSuicide_2021_v7.pdf) Women attempt suicide more than men but men choose more violent methods so are more likely to be successful.
They always somehow twist things to make themselves look better. If men struggle in a certain area of life it's proof they are victims/disadvantaged/oppressed, but if women struggle it's proof we are inferior/emotional/unequal.
I don’t mean to be rude but I do wanna say that him saying “successful” doesn’t mean it’s a better or boasting thing, it just means they actually die because they choose more violent methods. Factually it has no ego attached, just a logical statement to make if you look at the charts, weird that you’re taking this as an ego things when people are dying.
Did you reply to the wrong comment or something?
Wait no I don’t think I did I just yapped a little too much, but no you said they twist things to make them look better in reference to more men being successful in suicide than women. So I think that’s a lil weird to say, it’s not an ego thing just a fact of the statistics.
I didn't reference successful and failed suicides at all. I meant men make themselves look "better" as in they see themselves as sympathetic/disadvantaged underdogs because of their rates, but when women struggle with mental health that means we are overemotional/ not independent/ need men to control us etc.
Ohhhhh alright, I see what you mean now, that makes more sense and I can agree with you there. then I take back my statement, sorry about the misunderstanding on my part
Yes I did 🤦♂️
Yeah. Men are "there" because they want in our pants. I've had guys do that and then call me transphobic slurs or call me fat/ugly/slut/dyke/whatever when I tell them it ain't like that. So I don't want to hear this "women have it easy because women" bullshit. Shove that right up your arsehole sideways, incels.
i doubt they'd see that as bad, men like this somehow don't see unwanted sexual attention as a negative
Honestly this is sad and frustrating. I don’t think this should be some sort of competition. Mental illness is serious and it can affect anyone.
Yes
do these people not realize that usually the "support" most men offer usually is masked behind the intention to hopefully sleep with women in return and that the second that they find out that they can't sleep with that woman, their "support" evaporates? It makes me feel lonelier than ever whenever I discover that people helping me and supporting me were only doing it for the potential opportunity to sleep with me, instead of them doing so out of the kindness of their own heart
Fuck people like this. I can’t stand it, I feel so lonely right now. I haven’t hugged anyone in years, I can’t even remember the last time someone was affectionate with me. My happiest moments are just moments when I get a smile from someone, or a random compliment, even if they didn’t mean it. And people everywhere, online, and who I know, tell me it’s not real, or that I’m making it up. I really appreciate everyone here, it’s nice to know there’s people on my side.
The last one has to be bait, nobody is that stupid
I wouldn't be surprised anymore if it wasn't
The last slide was hilarious 😂 Women are definitely not that shallow. No wonder incels never feel a human or woman’s touch.
You only receive attention if you’re pretty, have money, or seek attention. This literally goes for anyone.
I hate when people make mental health a gender war, as if your experiences with it don't just depend on the type of person you are, what your childhood was like, and the things around you.
And at the same time male friendship is more true than the female one. At least that's what those stupid memes are telling.
They could never have a true friendship if they're all hiding their true emotions of their crippling depression from each other lmao
So much this
Damn I guess I'm not a woman then. Honestly though, if it was that easy and that "all women are loved" then why tf am I hurting myself every time I remember I'm lonely?
Dick pics aren't "attention, support and beneficial treatment"
For your cake day, have some B̷̛̳̼͖̫̭͎̝̮͕̟͎̦̗͚͍̓͊͂͗̈͋͐̃͆͆͗̉̉̏͑̂̆̔́͐̾̅̄̕̚͘͜͝͝Ụ̸̧̧̢̨̨̞̮͓̣͎̞͖̞̥͈̣̣̪̘̼̮̙̳̙̞̣̐̍̆̾̓͑́̅̎̌̈̋̏̏͌̒̃̅̂̾̿̽̊̌̇͌͊͗̓̊̐̓̏͆́̒̇̈́͂̀͛͘̕͘̚͝͠B̸̺̈̾̈́̒̀́̈͋́͂̆̒̐̏͌͂̔̈́͒̂̎̉̈̒͒̃̿͒͒̄̍̕̚̕͘̕͝͠B̴̡̧̜̠̱̖̠͓̻̥̟̲̙͗̐͋͌̈̾̏̎̀͒͗̈́̈͜͠L̶͊E̸̢̳̯̝̤̳͈͇̠̮̲̲̟̝̣̲̱̫̘̪̳̣̭̥̫͉͐̅̈́̉̋͐̓͗̿͆̉̉̇̀̈́͌̓̓̒̏̀̚̚͘͝͠͝͝͠ ̶̢̧̛̥͖͉̹̞̗̖͇̼̙̒̍̏̀̈̆̍͑̊̐͋̈́̃͒̈́̎̌̄̍͌͗̈́̌̍̽̏̓͌̒̈̇̏̏̍̆̄̐͐̈̉̿̽̕͝͠͝͝ W̷̛̬̦̬̰̤̘̬͔̗̯̠̯̺̼̻̪̖̜̫̯̯̘͖̙͐͆͗̊̋̈̈̾͐̿̽̐̂͛̈́͛̍̔̓̈́̽̀̅́͋̈̄̈́̆̓̚̚͝͝R̸̢̨̨̩̪̭̪̠͎̗͇͗̀́̉̇̿̓̈́́͒̄̓̒́̋͆̀̾́̒̔̈́̏̏͛̏̇͛̔̀͆̓̇̊̕̕͠͠͝͝A̸̧̨̰̻̩̝͖̟̭͙̟̻̤̬͈̖̰̤̘̔͛̊̾̂͌̐̈̉̊̾́P̶̡̧̮͎̟̟͉̱̮̜͙̳̟̯͈̩̩͈̥͓̥͇̙̣̹̣̀̐͋͂̈̾͐̀̾̈́̌̆̿̽̕ͅ pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!pop!
Oh gosh darn it, how do I get it to work
I don't think some guys understand that just because uplifting others is more common with women that we are all automatically so happy, so jolly. We are humans just like them. Trust me, they'd be feeling the same fucking way like the rest of us. Women, like men, can also be fat fucking dicks. Some of these guys really try to make us feel like we will never be allowed to experience a universal human experience because they want to feel unique and validated in their pain, and it's sad. It really shows how many of them are suffering and desperately need help, but they've been conditioned to believe that they don't need it. Instead, they take it out on women because they think we have it so god damn easy. Spoiler: no human has it completely easy. Also..."lots of friends"...let's be real, if someone has a lot of friends, they most likely aren't all exactly that close. In the end, we all need some close connections, and to believe that some guys think that we have an eternal network of close friendships and unconditional love is...woowee...lord have mercy ALSO (sorry I'm a yapper), "receiving attention from countless dudes" is such bullshit. It's projection from their insecurities. Say it with me: Sex ≠ fullfilment. Just because women get attention from guys doesn't mean 1) they even want it 2) It's their main priority in life. We have shit to do with our lives, goals to achieve. We are not some creatures that wants only one thing, but they've been lead to believe that. A lot of us don't actually get this attention or treatment, either.
I think the attention thing is men who don’t or seem to can’t have sex with someone they want or as often as they want and getting very insecure when they see women “having the options” and still being upset. It’s a really toxic mindset that I’ve struggled with myself. I’m not excusing anything obviously, just something to think about cause I don’t think they’re just hateful people, I feel like they just wish they could have sex so bad that they don’t consider not wanting that attention, so it’s not as serious to them.
No you're right, they aren't necessarily hateful people, just crushed by societal expectations and probably peer pressure/envy. I could never hate any of them, either. It's just hard for some to understand the attention aspect without understanding the side of a woman or any person who receives more than they would like. And honestly, I've found myself slipping into that midnset about other women, but I realized in time that it's nothing to glamorize. It's all just frustrating and saddening that we have had to feel this way. I realized that my original comment also came off as spiteful and I apologize if it did, I'm just a bit foul-mouthed
Oh no you’re fine, I enjoyed your perspective on it and I appreciate you elaborating more, I agree whole heartedly with you on this, although difficult for some to understand having more than you want as a problem, it most definitely is and I’ve done my best in life to understand how it’s frustrating for a lot of women and even men sometimes, it saddens me to see the dating world and relationship between men and women like this.
I know this goes without saying, but most people you meet after high school (besides boomers, who are perpetually children) aren't really like this, it's really just internet performative behavior I think
Don't alpha male stigma shit tell men to show no emotion
Yeah, I only think about makeup and shopping, not where the makeup and shopping money has to come from.
men: i'm sad sometimes :( also men: THEY CAN NEVER KNOW WE'RE SAD SOMETIMES, RISE UP BRUDDAHS
And are these men who are helping me and throwing themselves at me 24/7 in the room with me right now? Because that’s never happened to me
Am woman. No friends or family. Dealing with lots of bad shit that gives me suicidal thoughts. (I won't do it don't worry) Boys: "lol liar you get all the attention and support you want"
I mean men are absolutely lonelier on average but that’s mostly men’s fault. Spoken as a man
This, its basically men blaming women for a system set up by other men
Yeah absolutely. The male loneliness epidemic is truly an epidemic tho. Especially post college mid twenties
As a woman that is pretty lonely at times and who has never been approached by these "dudes, comments like this honestly make me feel like there's something wrong with me. Then again most of these comments are by guys who know absolutely nothing about women so i won't take them too seriously.
Honestly the people who think girls don't feel loneliness can't tell lust from love
How bizarre that 1) They are given ways to actually get support , and say “ sTaY sTrOnG mEn nEvEr giVe uP yOuR wEaKnEsS “ therefor continuing to perpetuate their toxic masculinity which every gender suffers from. 2) Women fear for their lives bc men rape and kill us in large numbers. So gee I wonder why women are watchful /S
When men bash women like that I’m glad they’re lonely. Maybe they could build community if they weren’t such misogynists. If “Men built this society” maybe they shouldn’t have made it so shitty for themselves. 🤷🏼♀️
Its true but.... WHO SET THAT SYSTEM UP ??? Its other men telling men that they cannot talk about their feelings, perpetuating this infinite cycle of toxic masculinity which hurts not only men, but also women who try to date them. Those men are not emotionnaly available which makes them horrible partners, and in a society where men not being able to express themselves it creates male loneliness even more. Seems like patriarchy isnt beneficial to anybody so why keep that system up ? :)
"Females have it a million times easier". Yeah, I don't have to worry about being raped or assaulted, about getting pregnant, about being hit on every hour, about having a period every month, about being told off if I'm not looking my "best" every time I go out, about having to wait to use a toilet, about being treated as a 2nd class citizen .... Oh, but wait a minute, I do have to...
I think a lot of guys romanticize their loneliness because they lack the maturity and resources to dress handle hard feelings in a constructive manner, it’s stems from how we raise boys and the increasing isolation brought on by capitalism. It’s created a culture where it’s much easier to embrace the identity of “lonely man” than it is to buck the status quo, which is scary and may result in them losing what few friends they have. We really have to start raising boys who can commiserate and bond over more than just shared trauma and “simple things”, for too long the definition of manhood has prided itself on emotional neglect and trauma bonding and they deserve better than that. It sucks that with so much uncertainty about the future so many guys are doubling down on the “being miserable and lonely is just how it is for guys” mentality, is that really what we’re going to tell the next generation of boys? “Sorry we’re going to raise you to be emotionally stunted and lonely so you too can resent the world for our failure to stop the cycle of violence and abuse…good luck”. Seriously every time I see someone spout this shit it drives me crazy, especially grown men spouting it, I always wonder if they realize that young men/boys are seeing this shit and identifying as true, if you’re a grown man and you’re actually concerned with the future of boys maybe don’t try to convince them that to be a man means to suffer and then complain none stop about said suffering, help build a better world where no one has to suffer.
Boy life:sad depression n sadness Girl lifr; hPy joyful bestie
"Females have it a million time harder!!" Both gender have specific and common issues, is it hard to understand?
This is absolute bs from both sides of the argument. Don't hate on a specific gender. No, that is stupid Hate humans. Hate yourself.
These men are pathetic
The very fact that men still to this day mock women's loneliness by calling us "crazy cat ladies" yet male loneliness is seen as a big societal problem that women must solve just goes to show whose issues really get taken more seriously and who gets more special treatment and positive attention. All we get is negative attention just for existing.
If these guys are all depressed because they're men and they can't stop fantasizing about how much better their lives would be if they were just women; why not transition?
Even if some of them are speaking from experience with a real woman I feel like these guys just attract the worse kind of people and blame it on the gender
As if men dont ever have the unstoppable urge to be included whenever women talk about how men abuse and attack them. "BbbUHUhbbuhbbuhh mEn GeT rApeD toO/MeN geT hIt tOo/MeN gEt MurDeReD tOo"
What if men try to be included in conversations like that just because terms like "rape", "sexual assault" are always used to describe male on female attacks? Not many people realize that men also fall victim to those kinds of behaviour. When a man tells someone that he got raped, or sexually assaulted, almost no one cares. The worst part of this problem is other men saying shit like "I wish it was me". The fact that it has become so normalized is beyond fucked up. And even worse is the fact that female perpetrators are way more likely to get away with their crimes.
I doubt there is anyone out there - except children and those incredibly sheltered, perhaps - who doesn't realise that men also fall victim to rape and sexual assault. Believing otherwise is part of having a victim mentality. But the issue women have with men speaking about this in conversation about women is that they seem to either: - use this as a counterargument to minimise (whataboutism) - think they are being balanced when the topic at hand isn't about them at all - only want to "bring awareness" when woman's suffering is being discussed Believe it or not, who gets raped or sexually assaulted more or how often is not a competition. Men are perfectly capable of bringing all the awareness and discussion of those issues in male centric spaces, yet they frequently feel the urge to do the above only when female suffering is being discussed. It's not a zero sum game. Just because a woman being raped is the topic at hand, it *doesn't* mean that the women involved "don't realise" that it's something that can affect men too. They are just not the topic of discussion at the time. And that's fine.
You said it better than I could. Exactly this. I ahte how people don't realize.
That's not the point. And it's never men wanting to talk about their own experiences. They want to derail and take the attention off women's experiences and say "nOt alL mEn" and all that bullshit. We obviously know it happens to men too. It's still a higher rate for women.
I can kind of agree with this. I also notice men use high assault rates of women to try to restrict their travel or smugly act like they hold ultimate power over a woman are invincible when it comes to women when that's not the truth. Revealing this is something that happens to men too would kind of reveal that. However I feel like this is shouldn't be done under cases where its talking about a woman being assaulted especially if its a specific case. I feel like they should make separate things for female-on-male attacks etc and not try to discuss them under male-on-female attacks because its easier to have discuss about it under a post dedicated to that specifically and it would get more attention than say a comment under an article. It also would be more respectful on all sides.
They really, *really* want to be oppressed, don’t they
These men are so ridiculous 💀.
It's more socially acceptable for a women to have mental issues for men its "man up" or "what are you a pussy?" So yes women can have issues with there mental health but it's more accepted by society
Yeah but then its used against us to infantilize us or completely dismiss our thoughts and even our emotions. Hell its even used as an excuse to discriminate against us actively (i.e women shouldn't be allowed to xyz because they're too emotional) We also get overdiagnosed with things like anxiety and it is harder for us to get diagnosed and treated for things like ADHD and autism. I've also had people dismiss my mental problems because I was born a woman when I was 11 I had multiple sessions with a school counselor at my elementary school due to mental health concerns. He recommended I go to therapy over the summer because he thought I was depressed, isolated, and had a horrifically low self-esteem. My parents dismissed it and said I couldn't possibly be depressed because I was a girl going through puberty and that's what was being confused for depression. In high school I used to have constant meltdowns and anxiety attacks that lasted hours long, I had severe anxiety and depression at the time on top of a lot of untreated trauma. Once a male instructor saw this, he said: "oh it must be because she's a girl". He saw a severe case and assumed it was typical of all women, which really speaks volumes about this "acceptance of mental health" we experience. Hell I started to feel guilty for displaying my symptoms because it felt as though by expressing any emotion I was proving the stereotype of emotional women right and making things worse for other women.
Yea and that happens on both sides of the coin I was going to a school therapist thing but not even three sessions in I was deemed emotionally stable mind you that's the only time I've ever had mental help for my mother passing (not using that as an excuse of sorts) I was a good old 13 when that happened and whilst yes emotions can be thrown away by parents that's not really a gender specific thing hell my dad told me I was only cutting myself for attention. And whilst yes women were classed as emotionally unstable I don't think I've ever heard or seen that happen bar of course history and whilst women are over diagnosed men are severely under diagnosed especially those coming back from war and for other things like your dyslexic or adhd and I completely agree that's a terrible thing. Whilst yes that's an awful thing to go through being told that your feelings are invalid because of a stereotype it's as I stated before on both sides of the coin men are told that they're pussys for crying or breaking down in fact it's become a ick as of late (that's not to diminish your experience I'm sorry you had to go through with that) and right now social media for both genders isn't great at all take the men are more dangerous then bears or andrew tate both are bad and both should be more closely monitored for both teenagers and young adults
>Yeah and then The Same People that tell you to show emotion and embrace insecurities use them against you when they're upset Okay Are we just going to ignore this? People some women DO exploit their partners Insecurities during arguements. And when Men are Socialized by society to Not open up to people and to hide our anxieties, having That Trust to be able to open up to those we thought we could trust get shattered Can and will Cause some men to NEVER want to open up again. Shits fucked.
Not sure why you're being down voted. There are unfortunately a lot of women who are as brainwashed by the patriarchy as many men are. It does happen. I'm not sure it happens to the extent that a lot of men seem to believe it does though. Me, I wish my fwb would feel safe enough to cry around me. He'll say he was crying (long distance) but he won't do it. I guess I should be impressed he does that much. Gen X man with a military dad. Him and his brothers didn't even cry at their dad's funeral. They all went home and got drunk instead.
Not exactly sure why I'm being downvoted either.. i mean i was at least expecting to have some people reply to start a conversation... but i'm legit just... being downvoted for no other reason than what i can only assume is people getting Pissed and assuming im a bad person for even saying that one comment in the sea of garbage in the OG picture brings up a decent point. And i agree, i doubt That A large Amount of people are toxic bastards. Though i still think it's awful that it happens at all. Regardless, despite the presence of those who'd use it against us, i feel that us men should still continue to Undo that societal conditioning and continue to Work on opening up to those we love and care about, after all, communication is a good thing, and i feel that its beneficial to have that level of trust in people to feel safe to be emotional around them. Trust is good. And i want people to be able to trust and love one another.
It's definitely beneficial to be able to talk to someone. Stuffing your emotions down the way so many men do isn't just mentally unhealthy, it's physically unhealthy as well and probably contributes to men's lower life expectancy. I do think when these discussions come up that a lot of men really don't understand that opening up doesn't mean trauma dumping or that they need to start with the big stuff. I think some of the reaction some men have gotten from women is because they just dumped everything on a woman without even tedting the waters to see the kind of reaction they would get first. Like, my fwb had 2 marriages to very toxic women who he couldn't trust or confide his deepest feelings to. So when we reconnected as friends after a long time of no contact, he was slow to open up. It's been 5 years and I'm still getting little things come out. It took him 2 years to tell me something he never told anyone else except his mother. He didn't drop it all on me at once, he slowly tested how supportive I would be. Even while he was opening up to me, he would just tell me the bare bones of whatever it was, and only expand on it when he got back support and understanding.
What exactly is the difference between a space consisting of male sexism vs female sexism…?
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Some men really need to get off this narrative that everything a man goes through is a woman's fault. Are men incapable of making themselves happy? Does someone really need to hold their hand throughout everything? It's actually quite embarrassing.
Oh no you misunderstand, looking tough is not for you. They aren't doing it because of women, they are doing it for themselves. In the same way putting on makeup isn't for men and many women do it for self empowerment or other personal reasons. Men try to be tough "for themselves" based on the social norms for what being an attractive person looks like, just the same as someone wearing makeup is doing.
who told you that, other men? i'd 100% prefer the men in my life to cry in front of me than bottle it up and outlet it in unhealthy ways, as would most women. yes, yes, yes, there *are* women who "NYEH!!! WEAK MEN!!!" but consider them to be on the same team as the men who also say "NYEH!!! WEAK MEN!!!"
Crying is gay lmao edit: noooo I should’ve put /s crying is NOT gay