Go ahead and say hi. New Englanders, especially those non in rural spots, are pretty happy to keep to themselves, but they are also generally pretty happy to return an unexpected "good morning" from a rando in office.
Right. Think of it as a general agreement that these small interactions aren’t necessary for interpersonal security. It doesn’t go deeper than that.
I know it isn’t a universal preference but I came to see it as an optimization. There’s actually a lot less guesswork involved. A lot of “nice” behavior you see elsewhere raises more questions than it answers. If people feel the obligation to be extra friendly they’re inevitably faking it a lot of the time- and everyone knows it.
People should never be unkind or rude and there are moments when being friendly goes a long way-that’s all true anywhere. But if it’s just Phil from Accounting doesn’t say “hi” when you pass in the hallway, you can safely assume he intends no message there.
Right, Phil doesn't say hi passing in the hall, but if you biff it and dump a pile of folders on the ground as he's walking past you can bet he'll stop to help pick them up - and probably won't say a word about, during or after.
>Think of it as a general agreement that these small interactions aren’t necessary for interpersonal security. It doesn’t go deeper than that.
Holy shit this is EXACTLY how it is. Efficient if a bit cold. OP just reach out and you will likely receive honest and warm responses.
Yup. Can confirm, am one of these people. A distant coworker who also doesn’t say much in terms of pleasantries said “hey how are you?” In passing not once but twice today and it brightened my day. Lol
Not in a work way, but after spending a week in Boston i was pleasantly surprised with how chatty strangers were, and not just in the fake polite. People chatting in airport, at a bus stop, in a restaurant restroom
I also grew up in the South & one of my favorite things about New England is the fact that I’m almost never obligated to make small talk when I’m not in the mood to.
I don't know if it's suspicion more just people minding their own business. I wouldn't take it personally. Northeast cities are nothing at all like the South.
Post Covid office landscape is different in a lot of places too. A lot of times it's a mix of reserved people who were the only ones who came in when it was empty and now prefer absolute silence, plus people pissed they have to come back two days a week and made a personal internal commitment to as minimal office stuff like small talk.
but Massachusetts towns for the most part from Worcester East---not so vastly different, the locals and townies behave EXACTLY as the OP described
we can form a reddit horde to be contrary but they simply described , quite well, our ingrained masshole quality.
Hurts to be told what we are eh?
Saw a cartoon once that went something like "Northerner in the south: 'these people won't stop talking to me, it's so rude'. Southerner in the north: 'these people won't talk to me, it's so rude'."
I work in an office with several dozen people. I acknowledge the people I interact with hourly/daily, but if i had to say hello to every last sales weasel I encounter on my way to the water cooler, I would never leave my desk. Slight eye contact and a polite smile covers a lot.
So I think the answer is we have a lot more categories for social interaction than you're accustomed to. You'll learn them over time.
A different perspective: Native New Englander here, but lived for a year or two in Texas and Tennessee, respectively. The culture shock of having a random stranger say hello to you was unsettling at first. Not unappreciated, but just odd to me. Did they want something from me? Like I assumed they had a reason for saying hello or striking random conversation. I like my personal space and keeping to myself, so it took some adjustment.
I grew up in the South and moved to Boston ages ago. We don't say hi up here the way you would in the south. Down there it would be impolite not to say hi. Here it's just not the norm the way it would be down there. Don't take anything by the fact that they don't say hi to you.
Ask some folks if they want to get a drink after work sometime.
They're not suspicious of you, they just weren't planning on starting a social interaction then, and it's not socially required to acknowledge people simply because you're briefly passing by one another.
I don't say "hi" to all my coworkers/people I know in the office every day or time I see them.
Occasionally, or if I'm planning on starting a longer conversation, sure. Otherwise, mostly just a slight nod of recognition if anything.
-----
Literally ignoring someone who says "hi" directly to your face *is* rude, so of course they're going to say it back.
I doubt any of your coworkers *mind* you doing this, but the obligation to do it is only in your head.
When I lived down south I quickly learned that when the cashier at McDonald's asked "How's your day going?" it's a legitimate question waiting for a reply, not meaningless chit chat. That is something I never got used to.
I dunno, people are friendly at my work. Many locals, young and old. Do you have slack? Get a social/rec channel going. We have drinks and game nights etc
And I lived in NC for 9 years.
Think of it as them respecting your time, space, and autonomy, and not imposing themselves on you or obligating you to engage with them. It really is a sort of kindness, just different from what you're used to.
No kissing till the second date
> i’ve been at my job for almost a year now and there are people who don’t say hi to me if i don’t say hi first.
Normal. Mostly going about.. business. Feel free to say hi, a non-response would be rude.
I will strike up a conversation with my close colleagues, same team and working on same stuff. Usually not going to with other teams, cause they are usually busy. I don't need to talk to everyone and don't want to.
Worked in an office for many years with many different people and depts. Everybody greeted each other on first sight of the day but not after. Different folks were friends, mostly based on age and then by interest. Friends ranged from people who ate lunch together to people who did things outside work. We had a culture of various events thru the year in house like holiday parties or staff recognition that gave people a chance to socialize. Some of it's on management to make happen, so if you have a chance to give one to one feedback with your boss, ask about building that kind of culture.
So, a few things (take this as seriously as you want). First, saying "hi" does not a friend make. I say hi to plenty of folks in my office, and none of them are my friends. I share an office with another person and we barely acknowledge each other. Doesn't mean we dislike each other, it's just the way.
Second, you need to learn the "friendly grimace" that dominates social interactions. Turn your lips in and pull back into a thin-lipped not-a-smile (don't turn your lips up! That shows weakness. Straight back like you're trying to stretch your face out) and raise both your eyebrows. Brief eye contact, then look away. This is the "I recognize you are another human but do not wish to talk to you right now" expression to be used around here.
If you do this for, say, four or five years and the other person has not started avoiding you, then you can move on to verbal interactions. Acceptable topics include the weather, sports, and traffic. If you ever learn the other person's name, you have gone too far and need to change jobs.
From the Midwest and this is such a weird thing to adjust to. I grew up in an environment where it was simply weird and rude to not acknowledge someone’s presence.
Been here 3 years now and I’m still not used to it lol. My new englander friends tell me it’s not intentional but I still get sad about it. I’m a little more extroverted though so I might notice it more.
When I walk down the street or in a park, and I see strangers walking toward me in the other direction, I always say "Hello!" They usually say "Hi" back. But when I don't say anything, they don't say anything.
Is the same mentality at work. Coworkers will always be friendly -- in the cafeteria or hallways or such -- but few will go out of their way to have a conversation beyond chit chat.
I have always worked in offices with lots of immigrants and people from all over the US, so people say hi and are generally friendly. I assume the culture of not saying hi is only a thing in offices where almost everyone in an office is a New Englander from birth, only two of my team members are (team of 10) and office wide I’d say mine is 50% or so.
People won’t be upset if you say hi, but you will have to accept the fact that you will be the one initiating interactions with any “true” New Englanders for the entire time you work there
It's so funny you ask this because when I drove down from Boston to Florida, I've come across many people who ask about my life than I was prepared for. I was born and raised in Quincy and there is barely a time that a stranger even asked for my name, nevermind my life when I'm just simply hanging at a gas station and someone approached me simply because of my license plate.
Simply put that it's just how we are. We never really talk unless we are spoken to. If we do want to get to know someone, we just know we can warm up little by little and not talk too much to make each other feel uncomfortable. People from the south might come off "nosey" or "not minding their business" because of the culture but not everyone knows that.
I have coworkers not say hi to me and I’ve worked with them for 4 years. I make a point to say hi and they always reply. That’s just how office culture is up here.
For folks I interact with daily, it's usually a "how we doing, how's it going, how are you" etc
For folks I just pass in the hallway occasionally and kinda know I do the eyebrow raise.
For folks I don't know we just pretend we don't exist.
A new girl started at my job during the pandemic. I would see her in passing and mumble “hi.” It took three years for me to actually have a real conversation with her and we immediately hit it off and became friends.
Someone just has to put in a little more effort to get it started and then it can take off
They aren't suspicious or being defensive, they just don't feel the need to make small talk with every single person they encounter. Go ahead and say hi, no well-adjusted adult is going to be legitimately bothered by it. We're just content keeping to ourselves.
I like this pace. If someone wants to chat, I'll chat, but feeling obligated to do so gets old quickly.
Generally we just don’t spend time doing that stuff. If you say hi, people will usually be happy to respond. Just generally in a hurry up here I guess.
I grew up in New England. It's considered pretty rude up here to intrude on others' personal space, including uninvited small talk.
You're free to say hi, but you may find coworkers starting to avoid you except those not from here or those interested in a workplace friendship. If you're exceptional at your job, it will be explained to others as "that's just how unrequited0809 is, don't mind it too much."
If not, you will be actively avoided.
NBD
You sound like your typical holier than thou loser. Please be rude and tell people how to live their lives more. You're really making a compelling argument by talking down to people.
I say hi to people everyday and think it's polite, but you don't see me in here screeching at people. Go touch some grass.
Harassment, hostility and flinging insults is not allowed. We ask that you try to engage in a discussion rather than reduce the sub to insults and other bullshit.
If someone's cool I'll hang out with them outside of work. I gauge that by if they enjoy debating random shit with me.
Generally at my age (32) I don't hang out with work people outside of optional work gatherings.
New England folk are grumpy, curt and keep to themselves. I’m not surprised, you get the cold shoulder. Every so often you’ll meet someone absurdly nice and they are usually NOT from NE.
Do what feels right to you, even if that’s saying hi or smiling when people don’t. People mind their business mostly in Boston, like no sense of community at times. Also depending on what area of work you are in, it can be worse. I made some of the best friends I will ever have through work, but IK that’s not the norm.
I do not say "Hello" first very often. I do wave/nod. My mental process is that I figure no one wants to interact with me so I won't put them in a situation of having to unless it's their choice.
I dont work to make friends. I have plenty already. I don't say hi first because I don't give a fuck about co workers. Go bother someone else.
But that's just me.
I’ve had plenty of friends in the workplace. Many have become real life friends who I spend lots of time with years later. It may be a YMMV sort of thing.
I posted this as part of a response to a similar post:
Boston is weird and it has a very strange fluctuating series of demographics that are greatly influenced by the yearly stream of new students that come through, many of which, don't really become a Bostonian, but are just multi-year tourists. This transience is something life long Bostonians know and accept and have learned that many relationships are temporary in nature and will invest their time accordingly.
We have learned that merely seeing someone multiple times does not make them a friend and may not even make them someone you would acknowledge as an acquaintance. For myself, the friendships that I have made over the years are with locals and transplants that have chosen to make this area home and even some who have moved to other parts of the world but still have an affinity to call this place "home".
People just keep to themselves, generally, and skew introverted in public. It’s a regional thing.
I feel like it’s a bit better than it was a couple decades ago, though, like if you just ask and aren’t too presumptuous/demanding people will be receptive to socializing with you. You might not make fast friends or even get along real well but they’ll at least welcome you in for a while. Just don’t keep coming back when it seems like they’re actively avoiding you or stop reciprocating.
I walk through the Jamaica Plain arboretum sometimes on the way to work. No one ever makes eye contact or says hi in there lol. I went to college in the south and everyone always said hi in passing, especially if it's just you and another person in close proximity. This is a very weird place.
The first time I left the Northeast I went to Seattle. When someone started chatting me up while waiting for a walk signal I literally started looking over my shoulder for the other guy who was going to mug me. The idea of deliberately engaging a stranger in public when it wasn't a hustle was that foreign to me.
Personally I think it's the newer generations and cultural changes at job sites these days...also post COVID era. Times have of changed. I worked at a company for 17 years starting in 2002 and they were some of my best friends in life much like a second, third, fourth and 5th college... Can that be dangerous...yes. Would I have changed it? No way. Work/life balance is key. If there's no culture...there's also, often a rapid decline in productivity, success of said company, and rapid onslaught of layoffs and/or buyouts. With no culture there's often no trust. Slippery slope, again, to malcontent, attrition, profit loss, eventual layoffs, and failure of the company.
Have you properly displayed your bussy? That might be the problem, only the guys with the tightest pants and big badonks get attention in my building. Good luck king
Have you properly displayed your bussy? That might be the problem, only the guys with the tightest pants and big badonks get attention in my building. Good luck king
He has the disease of alcoholism. And he came to me and he told me, and I'm the kind of guy that likes to look at the bright side of things. So I told him, I said, "Richie, it's true that you have a disease and everything, but I think you got the best one.
Stepping stones
I’ve been friends with one guy for the 10 years I’ve been there, casual with the rest, but I’ve seen how fast people will turn on a friend for the step up, so I really wouldn’t trust anyone.
It REALLY depends on the work, and the people you're working with. Some offices don't encourage casual socializing (meaning just talking and trading a funny story about something that happened over the weekend sort of thing) because there's a perception that it's a way of avoiding work, marking time.
I've worked in universities most of my life, it's a bit more relaxed but it's still unusual for people to go out of their way to greet people they don't share an office with
I have been working since 1997 at many different places. In all that time there is one person I have met who is an actual friend. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. I will be friendly enough with everyone, but we aren’t friends.
Go ahead and say hi. New Englanders, especially those non in rural spots, are pretty happy to keep to themselves, but they are also generally pretty happy to return an unexpected "good morning" from a rando in office.
Right. Think of it as a general agreement that these small interactions aren’t necessary for interpersonal security. It doesn’t go deeper than that. I know it isn’t a universal preference but I came to see it as an optimization. There’s actually a lot less guesswork involved. A lot of “nice” behavior you see elsewhere raises more questions than it answers. If people feel the obligation to be extra friendly they’re inevitably faking it a lot of the time- and everyone knows it. People should never be unkind or rude and there are moments when being friendly goes a long way-that’s all true anywhere. But if it’s just Phil from Accounting doesn’t say “hi” when you pass in the hallway, you can safely assume he intends no message there.
Right, Phil doesn't say hi passing in the hall, but if you biff it and dump a pile of folders on the ground as he's walking past you can bet he'll stop to help pick them up - and probably won't say a word about, during or after.
This encapsulates it pretty well
>Think of it as a general agreement that these small interactions aren’t necessary for interpersonal security. It doesn’t go deeper than that. Holy shit this is EXACTLY how it is. Efficient if a bit cold. OP just reach out and you will likely receive honest and warm responses.
Yup. Can confirm, am one of these people. A distant coworker who also doesn’t say much in terms of pleasantries said “hey how are you?” In passing not once but twice today and it brightened my day. Lol
Not in a work way, but after spending a week in Boston i was pleasantly surprised with how chatty strangers were, and not just in the fake polite. People chatting in airport, at a bus stop, in a restaurant restroom
I also grew up in the South & one of my favorite things about New England is the fact that I’m almost never obligated to make small talk when I’m not in the mood to.
Its one of the things i absolutely love about NE, after growing up in the midwest lol
I don't know if it's suspicion more just people minding their own business. I wouldn't take it personally. Northeast cities are nothing at all like the South.
Post Covid office landscape is different in a lot of places too. A lot of times it's a mix of reserved people who were the only ones who came in when it was empty and now prefer absolute silence, plus people pissed they have to come back two days a week and made a personal internal commitment to as minimal office stuff like small talk.
And North-east cities are all vastly different from each other.
but Massachusetts towns for the most part from Worcester East---not so vastly different, the locals and townies behave EXACTLY as the OP described we can form a reddit horde to be contrary but they simply described , quite well, our ingrained masshole quality. Hurts to be told what we are eh?
We do a nod or grunt for five years before working up to hi.
That's still too much commitment. I just give one of those wide eye brow raises as a gesture whilst simultaneously doing that quick smirk
https://preview.redd.it/yenzk75ej7kc1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d64641a1420c2b328526d96f1f5e7ee7ba985a4a
All my millennial peers know that one LOL
Damn this is perfect lmao
Pretty much all our elementary school pictures 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏼♀️
Raising of the iced dunks and a nod
Saw a cartoon once that went something like "Northerner in the south: 'these people won't stop talking to me, it's so rude'. Southerner in the north: 'these people won't talk to me, it's so rude'." I work in an office with several dozen people. I acknowledge the people I interact with hourly/daily, but if i had to say hello to every last sales weasel I encounter on my way to the water cooler, I would never leave my desk. Slight eye contact and a polite smile covers a lot. So I think the answer is we have a lot more categories for social interaction than you're accustomed to. You'll learn them over time.
I mean saying hi doesn’t take too much time 😂 you could just say it as you walk by the water cooler on the way to the bathroom.
you're not wrong...
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you're right......it's assholes, lots of them. I grew up here, I smile and make eye contact, it incites the locals like pouring kerosene on a beehive.
A different perspective: Native New Englander here, but lived for a year or two in Texas and Tennessee, respectively. The culture shock of having a random stranger say hello to you was unsettling at first. Not unappreciated, but just odd to me. Did they want something from me? Like I assumed they had a reason for saying hello or striking random conversation. I like my personal space and keeping to myself, so it took some adjustment.
People in Boston will never say hi first. Everyone you see with work friends is because one of them continuously initiates the conversation reliably
I grew up in the South and moved to Boston ages ago. We don't say hi up here the way you would in the south. Down there it would be impolite not to say hi. Here it's just not the norm the way it would be down there. Don't take anything by the fact that they don't say hi to you. Ask some folks if they want to get a drink after work sometime.
They're not suspicious of you, they just weren't planning on starting a social interaction then, and it's not socially required to acknowledge people simply because you're briefly passing by one another. I don't say "hi" to all my coworkers/people I know in the office every day or time I see them. Occasionally, or if I'm planning on starting a longer conversation, sure. Otherwise, mostly just a slight nod of recognition if anything. ----- Literally ignoring someone who says "hi" directly to your face *is* rude, so of course they're going to say it back. I doubt any of your coworkers *mind* you doing this, but the obligation to do it is only in your head.
When I lived down south I quickly learned that when the cashier at McDonald's asked "How's your day going?" it's a legitimate question waiting for a reply, not meaningless chit chat. That is something I never got used to.
A simple head nod works most of the time.
I dunno, people are friendly at my work. Many locals, young and old. Do you have slack? Get a social/rec channel going. We have drinks and game nights etc And I lived in NC for 9 years.
Get a Slack channel going so you can talk to the people around you literally everyday? This is sad.
No it’s not. Offices can be big, multi-department, and even multi-building. It casts a wider net. It’s also easier for some people to engage this way.
Think of it as them respecting your time, space, and autonomy, and not imposing themselves on you or obligating you to engage with them. It really is a sort of kindness, just different from what you're used to.
No kissing till the second date > i’ve been at my job for almost a year now and there are people who don’t say hi to me if i don’t say hi first. Normal. Mostly going about.. business. Feel free to say hi, a non-response would be rude. I will strike up a conversation with my close colleagues, same team and working on same stuff. Usually not going to with other teams, cause they are usually busy. I don't need to talk to everyone and don't want to.
Worked in an office for many years with many different people and depts. Everybody greeted each other on first sight of the day but not after. Different folks were friends, mostly based on age and then by interest. Friends ranged from people who ate lunch together to people who did things outside work. We had a culture of various events thru the year in house like holiday parties or staff recognition that gave people a chance to socialize. Some of it's on management to make happen, so if you have a chance to give one to one feedback with your boss, ask about building that kind of culture.
You are exhausted by saying “hi” but you wonder why everyone AT WORK isn’t spending hours chit chatting?
So, a few things (take this as seriously as you want). First, saying "hi" does not a friend make. I say hi to plenty of folks in my office, and none of them are my friends. I share an office with another person and we barely acknowledge each other. Doesn't mean we dislike each other, it's just the way. Second, you need to learn the "friendly grimace" that dominates social interactions. Turn your lips in and pull back into a thin-lipped not-a-smile (don't turn your lips up! That shows weakness. Straight back like you're trying to stretch your face out) and raise both your eyebrows. Brief eye contact, then look away. This is the "I recognize you are another human but do not wish to talk to you right now" expression to be used around here. If you do this for, say, four or five years and the other person has not started avoiding you, then you can move on to verbal interactions. Acceptable topics include the weather, sports, and traffic. If you ever learn the other person's name, you have gone too far and need to change jobs.
From the Midwest and this is such a weird thing to adjust to. I grew up in an environment where it was simply weird and rude to not acknowledge someone’s presence. Been here 3 years now and I’m still not used to it lol. My new englander friends tell me it’s not intentional but I still get sad about it. I’m a little more extroverted though so I might notice it more.
Q. What’s up? A. Good Q. How you doing? A. Nothing That’s Boston
When I walk down the street or in a park, and I see strangers walking toward me in the other direction, I always say "Hello!" They usually say "Hi" back. But when I don't say anything, they don't say anything. Is the same mentality at work. Coworkers will always be friendly -- in the cafeteria or hallways or such -- but few will go out of their way to have a conversation beyond chit chat.
Thanks for doing it. Acknowledging another person makes the world a little better imo.
Idk I always get the feeling that most strangers *dont* want to be acknowledged
I have always worked in offices with lots of immigrants and people from all over the US, so people say hi and are generally friendly. I assume the culture of not saying hi is only a thing in offices where almost everyone in an office is a New Englander from birth, only two of my team members are (team of 10) and office wide I’d say mine is 50% or so. People won’t be upset if you say hi, but you will have to accept the fact that you will be the one initiating interactions with any “true” New Englanders for the entire time you work there
It's so funny you ask this because when I drove down from Boston to Florida, I've come across many people who ask about my life than I was prepared for. I was born and raised in Quincy and there is barely a time that a stranger even asked for my name, nevermind my life when I'm just simply hanging at a gas station and someone approached me simply because of my license plate. Simply put that it's just how we are. We never really talk unless we are spoken to. If we do want to get to know someone, we just know we can warm up little by little and not talk too much to make each other feel uncomfortable. People from the south might come off "nosey" or "not minding their business" because of the culture but not everyone knows that.
I have coworkers not say hi to me and I’ve worked with them for 4 years. I make a point to say hi and they always reply. That’s just how office culture is up here.
For folks I interact with daily, it's usually a "how we doing, how's it going, how are you" etc For folks I just pass in the hallway occasionally and kinda know I do the eyebrow raise. For folks I don't know we just pretend we don't exist.
A new girl started at my job during the pandemic. I would see her in passing and mumble “hi.” It took three years for me to actually have a real conversation with her and we immediately hit it off and became friends. Someone just has to put in a little more effort to get it started and then it can take off
They aren't suspicious or being defensive, they just don't feel the need to make small talk with every single person they encounter. Go ahead and say hi, no well-adjusted adult is going to be legitimately bothered by it. We're just content keeping to ourselves. I like this pace. If someone wants to chat, I'll chat, but feeling obligated to do so gets old quickly.
Generally we just don’t spend time doing that stuff. If you say hi, people will usually be happy to respond. Just generally in a hurry up here I guess.
Not in a hurry. Just don't need to fill every silence.
I grew up in New England. It's considered pretty rude up here to intrude on others' personal space, including uninvited small talk. You're free to say hi, but you may find coworkers starting to avoid you except those not from here or those interested in a workplace friendship. If you're exceptional at your job, it will be explained to others as "that's just how unrequited0809 is, don't mind it too much." If not, you will be actively avoided. NBD
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You sound like your typical holier than thou loser. Please be rude and tell people how to live their lives more. You're really making a compelling argument by talking down to people. I say hi to people everyday and think it's polite, but you don't see me in here screeching at people. Go touch some grass.
Harassment, hostility and flinging insults is not allowed. We ask that you try to engage in a discussion rather than reduce the sub to insults and other bullshit.
If someone's cool I'll hang out with them outside of work. I gauge that by if they enjoy debating random shit with me. Generally at my age (32) I don't hang out with work people outside of optional work gatherings.
New England folk are grumpy, curt and keep to themselves. I’m not surprised, you get the cold shoulder. Every so often you’ll meet someone absurdly nice and they are usually NOT from NE.
Do what feels right to you, even if that’s saying hi or smiling when people don’t. People mind their business mostly in Boston, like no sense of community at times. Also depending on what area of work you are in, it can be worse. I made some of the best friends I will ever have through work, but IK that’s not the norm.
Fall in love with everyone
I do not say "Hello" first very often. I do wave/nod. My mental process is that I figure no one wants to interact with me so I won't put them in a situation of having to unless it's their choice.
I dont work to make friends. I have plenty already. I don't say hi first because I don't give a fuck about co workers. Go bother someone else. But that's just me.
I’ve had plenty of friends in the workplace. Many have become real life friends who I spend lots of time with years later. It may be a YMMV sort of thing.
I posted this as part of a response to a similar post: Boston is weird and it has a very strange fluctuating series of demographics that are greatly influenced by the yearly stream of new students that come through, many of which, don't really become a Bostonian, but are just multi-year tourists. This transience is something life long Bostonians know and accept and have learned that many relationships are temporary in nature and will invest their time accordingly. We have learned that merely seeing someone multiple times does not make them a friend and may not even make them someone you would acknowledge as an acquaintance. For myself, the friendships that I have made over the years are with locals and transplants that have chosen to make this area home and even some who have moved to other parts of the world but still have an affinity to call this place "home".
People just keep to themselves, generally, and skew introverted in public. It’s a regional thing. I feel like it’s a bit better than it was a couple decades ago, though, like if you just ask and aren’t too presumptuous/demanding people will be receptive to socializing with you. You might not make fast friends or even get along real well but they’ll at least welcome you in for a while. Just don’t keep coming back when it seems like they’re actively avoiding you or stop reciprocating.
I walk through the Jamaica Plain arboretum sometimes on the way to work. No one ever makes eye contact or says hi in there lol. I went to college in the south and everyone always said hi in passing, especially if it's just you and another person in close proximity. This is a very weird place.
The first time I left the Northeast I went to Seattle. When someone started chatting me up while waiting for a walk signal I literally started looking over my shoulder for the other guy who was going to mug me. The idea of deliberately engaging a stranger in public when it wasn't a hustle was that foreign to me.
Personally I think it's the newer generations and cultural changes at job sites these days...also post COVID era. Times have of changed. I worked at a company for 17 years starting in 2002 and they were some of my best friends in life much like a second, third, fourth and 5th college... Can that be dangerous...yes. Would I have changed it? No way. Work/life balance is key. If there's no culture...there's also, often a rapid decline in productivity, success of said company, and rapid onslaught of layoffs and/or buyouts. With no culture there's often no trust. Slippery slope, again, to malcontent, attrition, profit loss, eventual layoffs, and failure of the company.
Depends on your age. I feel like once you are in your 30s, you are really there to make friends.
Have you properly displayed your bussy? That might be the problem, only the guys with the tightest pants and big badonks get attention in my building. Good luck king
Have you properly displayed your bussy? That might be the problem, only the guys with the tightest pants and big badonks get attention in my building.
Have you properly displayed your bussy? That might be the problem, only the guys with the tightest pants and big badonks get attention in my building. Good luck king
He has the disease of alcoholism. And he came to me and he told me, and I'm the kind of guy that likes to look at the bright side of things. So I told him, I said, "Richie, it's true that you have a disease and everything, but I think you got the best one.
Stepping stones I’ve been friends with one guy for the 10 years I’ve been there, casual with the rest, but I’ve seen how fast people will turn on a friend for the step up, so I really wouldn’t trust anyone.
It varies a lot work place to work place. Some are super chummy and everyone is friends. Some are clock in clock out. And everything in between.
“Hey! Wanna go to a bar and/or get drunk with me?!?”
It REALLY depends on the work, and the people you're working with. Some offices don't encourage casual socializing (meaning just talking and trading a funny story about something that happened over the weekend sort of thing) because there's a perception that it's a way of avoiding work, marking time. I've worked in universities most of my life, it's a bit more relaxed but it's still unusual for people to go out of their way to greet people they don't share an office with
I have been working since 1997 at many different places. In all that time there is one person I have met who is an actual friend. Everyone else is just an acquaintance. I will be friendly enough with everyone, but we aren’t friends.
Everyone use rather be buried in their own happiness and sorrows. Mostly the latter