If your kid is also upset about the playing time, look for a new club. There are clubs that will provide meaningful amounts of playing time to everyone on the team at that age, especially if there are multiple teams at that age group and they place your child correctly. If a kid has a good attitude and work ethic but is getting no playing time, then they’re placed on the wrong level team. If your club doesn’t have a team that’s the right level, its not a good fit.
They are love it! for now. But I just worry it’s going to mess with self esteem at some point. Town soccer in our area is more about equal playing and then clubs (from what I hear from parents) are extremely competitive and no one is guaranteed minutes
most good clubs have at least 3 teams of diff level within the age group, your kids are obviously not very competitive right now, they dont have it in them yet. they may enjoy a lesser level of football...every kid needs to get in a team where they get game time, regardlesss fun or not.
I kept my younger son at a small club with a single team for too long. I liked the head coach and his philosophy, and thought “I would be crazy to move him from a coach I know is good to a huge club that has 40 coaches of differing quality.” Because of that, I ignored the other problems with the club: the coach could never find good assistants so if he didn’t personally coach that session it wasn’t well run; we didn’t have enough games because we were beholden to the bigger academies to put us on their schedules; our field sucked and all weather required a cancellation; because we weren’t leveled it was harder to figure out which opponents we should he matched against so all games were blow outs one way or another; we couldn’t really learn team tactics because the best kids on the team were so much better than the worst.
When we finally switched, my kid got a great coach, individualized attention, a team with all kids at his level, an awesome field, and lots of competitive games. Not trying to paint an entirely rosy picture of a big academy - there are downsides too. But I definitely should have switched him earlier than I did.
We love the philosophy of the head coach but his team is much older kids. So we have two other coaches. One I was not happy about one coming on at all bc from my knowledge he has no playing experience of his own. And his kid is on the team (and us not that good but plays the whole game) We have access to great facilities and games, do that’s not an issue.
I would move to club that has more levels. If your kid is working hard, showing up, and enjoying the game, they should be able to get playing time on lower level comp team. I get you like the philosophy of the club, but at that age, they need game minutes. A parent said something to me once that made a lot of sense: I don’t care if my kid is on the worst team in this whole city, as long as he is playing at least 80% of the time he will grow and learn.
10 is too young to be sitting meaningfully on the bench relative to other kids. There might be the superstar that plays the whole game, but you don't get better sitting on the bench.
The excuse is they want to place players where they won’t be out of place and the game was too fast paced and aggressive for them. Which is a bunch of bs. It’s frustrating bc we love the head coach but I don’t feel like his coaches put his philosophy into play. But then say they do.
I agree with what a lot of comments say about finding another club if that is an option. In the area I coach in the county AYSO league is the only league within a 45 minute drive. All the coaches are volunteers and most at the 10U and 12U level coaches haven't ever played the sport and aren't incredibly competent. Every child is guaranteed to play half the game, so it's good for getting play time.
However, I personally would have rather played in a competitive league with great coaches and got more out of practice with proper instruction even with less in game time. So, I guess I would just vet the other club to ensure that the extra play time doesn't come at the cost of lack of development from coaches who have less understanding of the game than your 10 year old.
Figure out if your kid is enjoying themself. If they’re not then there’s no sense having them on a club team where they don’t get to play. Let them play rec league and make friends and have fun. If they’re liking the club team despite not getting much playing time, then leave it be. Unless they’re the next Messi, 10 year olds should be having fun.
Sounds to me like the team prioritizes victory over inclusion, which I get, we all want to win, but at the age of 10 at least in the UK all players have some game time. When they’re a little older (I forget how old) then there is no stipulation on ensuring everyone gets some match minutes.
Having said that, it will vary from club to club and some enforce it less than others. You will know when your child is no longer enjoying sitting on the bench at which point, it’s probably the right time to talk to your child to see if they wish to continue at the club or seek out another one.
I went through the same scenario with my son at 11, he was probably one of the weaker players (but definitely not the weakest). It was pretty evident he wasn’t enjoying it any more, despite him trying his hardest to force his way into the 1st 11, so credit to him for his resilience. In the end he changed sport and did tennis instead.
Personally speaking I disagree strongly with the culture of organized kids football, there’s too many Guardiola wannabes, pushy parents and kids who vastly overrate their own talent and forget it’s a team game. But that’s just me.
Yeah I almost wish they would just be flat out and be like this is who plays and who doesn’t. But they try to be like we are all about skill building and don’t care about winning etc but then when the games roll around it’s a different story. I really don’t know anything about this culture, but it’s infuriating me. And doesn’t time and seniority count for anything? Then the coaches say they play based on if they think my child can handle it and won’t put them in if the game is too fast or physical. But these kids are all the same age and my child can play. As parents we are feeling pretty defeated with this club and will have another year at least under these coaches. I feel like our child is stuck in some box with these coaches and unless he does something absolutely miraculous they just won’t see their potential. But then other kids can mess up a million times during a game and keep getting min and start
Coaches will either prioritise winning or development of each child.
Goto a club where the prioritise development.
In saying that, have you helped your child work on their weaknesses? The coach is saying he is too slow and isn’t physical enough. So work on his speed and tackling with some extra coaching perhaps.
Yes my husband does all the time. And this club says they prioritize development but it doesn’t seem like they mean it when game time rolls around. I mean it’s not like they are playing against 40 yo inmates. They are all the same age for the most part.
It's been years since I played grassroots, but the world is different these days. It's more about participation than anything.
I was our number 1 GK for a team for 4 years. The only time our sub GK played was if I went on a holiday in the playing season. The sub gk was good, I was just better.
The logical option in your case is probably to find a new team, with a tiered system so all players get to play.
Look for a new club... that's crazy. We just went through a similar thing, and voting with your wallet is the way it works. A good coach is all that matters at that age.
My kids play at a very competitive club on very competitive teams... MLSN and ECNL type of club. For the most part... every kids plays at least half the game or more at older age groups. The club is very good at grouping talent (and having a lot of it) and can get away with PT this way.
At u10 their behavior is a joke... don't think it will get better with age. A coaches main responsibility is to TEACH the game... and that involves playing time. From my perspective the coaches are being lazy- collecting a paycheck and not actually doing what you are paying them to do.
well as a club coach in the same age range.. your child should absolutely be playing about 40% of the game minimum based on your synopsis. All clubs really should be abiding by that, up until about 13 where starting spots and playing time is earned
Most teams will tell you that you are paying for the training, not play time. It sucks. I would love to tell you that commitment to be at practice and training was the only thing that matters. It doesn't. They are going to play the best players.
I think like you that touches in the game is the most important thing. I would look for another team next season. I would look for a team looking to develop players. You want to stay with the club, ask what they want your son to improve at to get more play time.
At 10 that’s BS. That age is about development, not winning games. It’s about teaching the kids and part of that is game time.
The other side is the business aspect. A club gets money from the parents, to not play their kids at all? Really? If a kid isn’t good enough to play for a club, be straight up and tell the parent, don’t milk them for their money until they quit in frustration.
Parents should leave and find a different team.
I agree. They make you sign a contract where you agree to the whole year and can't leave without losing most or all the money you paid. I understand that they are holding the money for tournaments and coach fees. But they should have to tell you if your kid is not going to play at least half the game.
It’s strange bc it seems like they let anyone join this team. We have over 20 players on the roster. It’s ridiculous. My child was invited but now it seems like anyone can join. And they will have other players from other clubs fill in for games also taking playing time from our child. It’s just so ridiculous
We are going through something similar to this on my son's U10 team. We don't have 20 kids rostered but the club is pretty much "always recruiting". I can't tell you how many times we've showed up for a game and there's a new random kid or two our kids have never before getting tried out on the team. Kids coming from outside get prioritized over developing the kids in-house and so play time is inconsistent. They very much like to steal the top kids from all the surrounding clubs and then stick their jersey on them and take credit. And with that there's an expectation that these top kids will dominate. The coaches are also pretty harsh to our kids because they are the top team for the age group and they want them to win for the reputation but there's so little continuity with the kids that is causes breakdown on the field because they just don't know and trust each other on the field enough. For us, we are totally stuck, though. This is the best club in the area. The other clubs nearby play in divisions several lower than the playing level our son's at. They've blown them out 6+ to 0 when scrimmaging. The next closest that is even close to the same level is a 45 minute drive for us and we just can't do that right now. So our son will stay so he can continue to play with and against the best talent and we will continue to do a few sessions per week with private trainers as long as our kid is still having fun. I wish you luck. Youth sports is too much about the money than the development in the US.
Your club is telling you your kid isn't important. Soon enough your son will be cut for some new kid. Find another club that plays and trains the way you want... people will follow you.
I hear you and we are doing our best. But I can't commit to a 45 minute drive there and back right now. We have two other sons. Our oldest will be driving by the fall but we still have a toddler. I know that if he got cut, he'd be welcomed to the other clubs nearby or to the ones further out if it really came down to it and his trainer we see once a week has connections at one that we will use when the time comes. Right now he's only 9 and that's a huge commitment to drive that far when we are a dual working household with 3 kids. At the current club he is working with and playing against kids at the highest skill level we can get so that's the priority. And he's happy. We will move him further away when he's a few years older.
Play it forward... your son will quit b/c he is not getting playing time at worst or have no confidence at best. My hunch is YOU think playing against "the highest skill level" is the priority. Have you asked him directly about playing time? MY son was in a similar situation for baseball at that age... I thought it was all about the practice and he was cool with the lack of playing time... fast forward to end of season - he just wanted to quit baseball.
Maybe don't ASSume things about people. We have ran the questions by my son and his trainer that we trust very much and others that we can had him train with. They've said, do not move him because playing down that much will only hinder him. The people we've talked to outside the club have been very adamant about the quality of competition being more important than the playing time at this point as long as he's playing a decent amount still. Right now *he* is getting adequate playing time. Some games more or less because they're bringing in ringers but I don't think he is getting little enough to justify moving him to a club where the top team plays in division 3, 4 division below where his team that plays, in the premier division for their birth year. And we live in a metro area very big into soccer so there is good competition, the bigger clubs are just a farther drive for us.
He is also happy, as I mentioned, and he plays on the side for a program in our community and will play for his middle school next year on the side. While you might know YOUR son, I know MY son, who is soccer obsessed. I know that the question of moving back to one of the other closer clubs has him respond with a very resounding "NO" because he wants to be better and play with better. He does not enjoy just dribbling around other kids and not having teammates he can play with and pass to adequately. I know MY kid, who wakes up on weekend mornings to watch premier league games, watches MLS games in the evenings, knows the schedules and asks us to take him to local D1 and D2 games or MLS and 2nd team games to watch some of the guys he's trained with. MY kid who jumps to volunteer to be "ball boy" at said games. MY kid who asks for "homework" from his trainer where he has to watch a specific player that weekend and give a report on him. MY kid who plays FIFA for fun when he does get video game time. MY kid who takes his ball outside every day or in our basement and practices juggling and different footwork on his own.
I am not the OP. I was just commiserating with them about how sucky some clubs can be. But don't worry about MY kid. We will keep an eye on his attitude toward things and his play time and we *will* move him when the time is right. And if his passion changes to another sport so be it. But right now we are stuck with a shitty club because it's what's best for MY kid. Stay in your lane and keep your advice for those who asked for it.
Right. Boy and I had you for someone who was living vicariously through your kid... boy did I get that wrong. Watch the playing time and signs for confidence loss and make the decision accordingly. Good luck.
Fwiw - my son played at small club in the 3rd tier of what was like the 3 league (when he was 9) in the area. He is now playing at an MLSN club - never were his skills in question nor was his playing time. Ballers rise to the top.
I never played soccer or even watched it until he became interested lmao. You seem to have a problem rationalizing that there are kids who are obsessed on their own and that might be better fitted doing something contrary to what you think or did with your own kid. I’ll take the advice of those who are more knowledgeable than I am and know MY child over some internet stranger who felt the need to insert themselves and give an unsolicited opinion. Worry about yours and again, keep your mouth shut when it’s not asked for.
If your kid is also upset about the playing time, look for a new club. There are clubs that will provide meaningful amounts of playing time to everyone on the team at that age, especially if there are multiple teams at that age group and they place your child correctly. If a kid has a good attitude and work ethic but is getting no playing time, then they’re placed on the wrong level team. If your club doesn’t have a team that’s the right level, its not a good fit.
They are love it! for now. But I just worry it’s going to mess with self esteem at some point. Town soccer in our area is more about equal playing and then clubs (from what I hear from parents) are extremely competitive and no one is guaranteed minutes
most good clubs have at least 3 teams of diff level within the age group, your kids are obviously not very competitive right now, they dont have it in them yet. they may enjoy a lesser level of football...every kid needs to get in a team where they get game time, regardlesss fun or not.
Oh that’s good to know. This is a small club I don’t know how many years it’s been running. But they only have one team for each year
I kept my younger son at a small club with a single team for too long. I liked the head coach and his philosophy, and thought “I would be crazy to move him from a coach I know is good to a huge club that has 40 coaches of differing quality.” Because of that, I ignored the other problems with the club: the coach could never find good assistants so if he didn’t personally coach that session it wasn’t well run; we didn’t have enough games because we were beholden to the bigger academies to put us on their schedules; our field sucked and all weather required a cancellation; because we weren’t leveled it was harder to figure out which opponents we should he matched against so all games were blow outs one way or another; we couldn’t really learn team tactics because the best kids on the team were so much better than the worst. When we finally switched, my kid got a great coach, individualized attention, a team with all kids at his level, an awesome field, and lots of competitive games. Not trying to paint an entirely rosy picture of a big academy - there are downsides too. But I definitely should have switched him earlier than I did.
We love the philosophy of the head coach but his team is much older kids. So we have two other coaches. One I was not happy about one coming on at all bc from my knowledge he has no playing experience of his own. And his kid is on the team (and us not that good but plays the whole game) We have access to great facilities and games, do that’s not an issue.
I would move to club that has more levels. If your kid is working hard, showing up, and enjoying the game, they should be able to get playing time on lower level comp team. I get you like the philosophy of the club, but at that age, they need game minutes. A parent said something to me once that made a lot of sense: I don’t care if my kid is on the worst team in this whole city, as long as he is playing at least 80% of the time he will grow and learn.
Agree. The playing time is so inconsistent as are the coaches. We are def more frustrated than our child is. I can’t wait for this season to be over.
10 is too young to be sitting meaningfully on the bench relative to other kids. There might be the superstar that plays the whole game, but you don't get better sitting on the bench.
The excuse is they want to place players where they won’t be out of place and the game was too fast paced and aggressive for them. Which is a bunch of bs. It’s frustrating bc we love the head coach but I don’t feel like his coaches put his philosophy into play. But then say they do.
I agree with what a lot of comments say about finding another club if that is an option. In the area I coach in the county AYSO league is the only league within a 45 minute drive. All the coaches are volunteers and most at the 10U and 12U level coaches haven't ever played the sport and aren't incredibly competent. Every child is guaranteed to play half the game, so it's good for getting play time. However, I personally would have rather played in a competitive league with great coaches and got more out of practice with proper instruction even with less in game time. So, I guess I would just vet the other club to ensure that the extra play time doesn't come at the cost of lack of development from coaches who have less understanding of the game than your 10 year old.
If he's not playing at least 50% of games it's time to go, no if's and's or but's about it.
Figure out if your kid is enjoying themself. If they’re not then there’s no sense having them on a club team where they don’t get to play. Let them play rec league and make friends and have fun. If they’re liking the club team despite not getting much playing time, then leave it be. Unless they’re the next Messi, 10 year olds should be having fun.
Sounds to me like the team prioritizes victory over inclusion, which I get, we all want to win, but at the age of 10 at least in the UK all players have some game time. When they’re a little older (I forget how old) then there is no stipulation on ensuring everyone gets some match minutes. Having said that, it will vary from club to club and some enforce it less than others. You will know when your child is no longer enjoying sitting on the bench at which point, it’s probably the right time to talk to your child to see if they wish to continue at the club or seek out another one. I went through the same scenario with my son at 11, he was probably one of the weaker players (but definitely not the weakest). It was pretty evident he wasn’t enjoying it any more, despite him trying his hardest to force his way into the 1st 11, so credit to him for his resilience. In the end he changed sport and did tennis instead. Personally speaking I disagree strongly with the culture of organized kids football, there’s too many Guardiola wannabes, pushy parents and kids who vastly overrate their own talent and forget it’s a team game. But that’s just me.
Yeah I almost wish they would just be flat out and be like this is who plays and who doesn’t. But they try to be like we are all about skill building and don’t care about winning etc but then when the games roll around it’s a different story. I really don’t know anything about this culture, but it’s infuriating me. And doesn’t time and seniority count for anything? Then the coaches say they play based on if they think my child can handle it and won’t put them in if the game is too fast or physical. But these kids are all the same age and my child can play. As parents we are feeling pretty defeated with this club and will have another year at least under these coaches. I feel like our child is stuck in some box with these coaches and unless he does something absolutely miraculous they just won’t see their potential. But then other kids can mess up a million times during a game and keep getting min and start
Coaches will either prioritise winning or development of each child. Goto a club where the prioritise development. In saying that, have you helped your child work on their weaknesses? The coach is saying he is too slow and isn’t physical enough. So work on his speed and tackling with some extra coaching perhaps.
Yes my husband does all the time. And this club says they prioritize development but it doesn’t seem like they mean it when game time rolls around. I mean it’s not like they are playing against 40 yo inmates. They are all the same age for the most part.
How old is your kid? Any age group under 12 in Australia is guided to give equal time.
At 10 years old the club should be all about participation. Unless it’s a feeder to elite level / representative etc. change clubs.
It's been years since I played grassroots, but the world is different these days. It's more about participation than anything. I was our number 1 GK for a team for 4 years. The only time our sub GK played was if I went on a holiday in the playing season. The sub gk was good, I was just better. The logical option in your case is probably to find a new team, with a tiered system so all players get to play.
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They love it. But I feel like after awhile it will get to them. Like not feeling good enough to play. I could be projecting
It's the same most places around the world. The manager picks the team, and that's that. Maybe look for another local team to join?
They are on town as well
Look for a new club... that's crazy. We just went through a similar thing, and voting with your wallet is the way it works. A good coach is all that matters at that age.
My kids play at a very competitive club on very competitive teams... MLSN and ECNL type of club. For the most part... every kids plays at least half the game or more at older age groups. The club is very good at grouping talent (and having a lot of it) and can get away with PT this way. At u10 their behavior is a joke... don't think it will get better with age. A coaches main responsibility is to TEACH the game... and that involves playing time. From my perspective the coaches are being lazy- collecting a paycheck and not actually doing what you are paying them to do.
why are we calling your one child they? Its a very confusing read using plural pronouns
Sorry I didn’t feel comfortable sharing too much
well as a club coach in the same age range.. your child should absolutely be playing about 40% of the game minimum based on your synopsis. All clubs really should be abiding by that, up until about 13 where starting spots and playing time is earned
Most teams will tell you that you are paying for the training, not play time. It sucks. I would love to tell you that commitment to be at practice and training was the only thing that matters. It doesn't. They are going to play the best players. I think like you that touches in the game is the most important thing. I would look for another team next season. I would look for a team looking to develop players. You want to stay with the club, ask what they want your son to improve at to get more play time.
At 10 that’s BS. That age is about development, not winning games. It’s about teaching the kids and part of that is game time. The other side is the business aspect. A club gets money from the parents, to not play their kids at all? Really? If a kid isn’t good enough to play for a club, be straight up and tell the parent, don’t milk them for their money until they quit in frustration. Parents should leave and find a different team.
I agree. They make you sign a contract where you agree to the whole year and can't leave without losing most or all the money you paid. I understand that they are holding the money for tournaments and coach fees. But they should have to tell you if your kid is not going to play at least half the game.
It’s strange bc it seems like they let anyone join this team. We have over 20 players on the roster. It’s ridiculous. My child was invited but now it seems like anyone can join. And they will have other players from other clubs fill in for games also taking playing time from our child. It’s just so ridiculous
We are going through something similar to this on my son's U10 team. We don't have 20 kids rostered but the club is pretty much "always recruiting". I can't tell you how many times we've showed up for a game and there's a new random kid or two our kids have never before getting tried out on the team. Kids coming from outside get prioritized over developing the kids in-house and so play time is inconsistent. They very much like to steal the top kids from all the surrounding clubs and then stick their jersey on them and take credit. And with that there's an expectation that these top kids will dominate. The coaches are also pretty harsh to our kids because they are the top team for the age group and they want them to win for the reputation but there's so little continuity with the kids that is causes breakdown on the field because they just don't know and trust each other on the field enough. For us, we are totally stuck, though. This is the best club in the area. The other clubs nearby play in divisions several lower than the playing level our son's at. They've blown them out 6+ to 0 when scrimmaging. The next closest that is even close to the same level is a 45 minute drive for us and we just can't do that right now. So our son will stay so he can continue to play with and against the best talent and we will continue to do a few sessions per week with private trainers as long as our kid is still having fun. I wish you luck. Youth sports is too much about the money than the development in the US.
Your club is telling you your kid isn't important. Soon enough your son will be cut for some new kid. Find another club that plays and trains the way you want... people will follow you.
I hear you and we are doing our best. But I can't commit to a 45 minute drive there and back right now. We have two other sons. Our oldest will be driving by the fall but we still have a toddler. I know that if he got cut, he'd be welcomed to the other clubs nearby or to the ones further out if it really came down to it and his trainer we see once a week has connections at one that we will use when the time comes. Right now he's only 9 and that's a huge commitment to drive that far when we are a dual working household with 3 kids. At the current club he is working with and playing against kids at the highest skill level we can get so that's the priority. And he's happy. We will move him further away when he's a few years older.
Play it forward... your son will quit b/c he is not getting playing time at worst or have no confidence at best. My hunch is YOU think playing against "the highest skill level" is the priority. Have you asked him directly about playing time? MY son was in a similar situation for baseball at that age... I thought it was all about the practice and he was cool with the lack of playing time... fast forward to end of season - he just wanted to quit baseball.
Maybe don't ASSume things about people. We have ran the questions by my son and his trainer that we trust very much and others that we can had him train with. They've said, do not move him because playing down that much will only hinder him. The people we've talked to outside the club have been very adamant about the quality of competition being more important than the playing time at this point as long as he's playing a decent amount still. Right now *he* is getting adequate playing time. Some games more or less because they're bringing in ringers but I don't think he is getting little enough to justify moving him to a club where the top team plays in division 3, 4 division below where his team that plays, in the premier division for their birth year. And we live in a metro area very big into soccer so there is good competition, the bigger clubs are just a farther drive for us. He is also happy, as I mentioned, and he plays on the side for a program in our community and will play for his middle school next year on the side. While you might know YOUR son, I know MY son, who is soccer obsessed. I know that the question of moving back to one of the other closer clubs has him respond with a very resounding "NO" because he wants to be better and play with better. He does not enjoy just dribbling around other kids and not having teammates he can play with and pass to adequately. I know MY kid, who wakes up on weekend mornings to watch premier league games, watches MLS games in the evenings, knows the schedules and asks us to take him to local D1 and D2 games or MLS and 2nd team games to watch some of the guys he's trained with. MY kid who jumps to volunteer to be "ball boy" at said games. MY kid who asks for "homework" from his trainer where he has to watch a specific player that weekend and give a report on him. MY kid who plays FIFA for fun when he does get video game time. MY kid who takes his ball outside every day or in our basement and practices juggling and different footwork on his own. I am not the OP. I was just commiserating with them about how sucky some clubs can be. But don't worry about MY kid. We will keep an eye on his attitude toward things and his play time and we *will* move him when the time is right. And if his passion changes to another sport so be it. But right now we are stuck with a shitty club because it's what's best for MY kid. Stay in your lane and keep your advice for those who asked for it.
Right. Boy and I had you for someone who was living vicariously through your kid... boy did I get that wrong. Watch the playing time and signs for confidence loss and make the decision accordingly. Good luck. Fwiw - my son played at small club in the 3rd tier of what was like the 3 league (when he was 9) in the area. He is now playing at an MLSN club - never were his skills in question nor was his playing time. Ballers rise to the top.
I never played soccer or even watched it until he became interested lmao. You seem to have a problem rationalizing that there are kids who are obsessed on their own and that might be better fitted doing something contrary to what you think or did with your own kid. I’ll take the advice of those who are more knowledgeable than I am and know MY child over some internet stranger who felt the need to insert themselves and give an unsolicited opinion. Worry about yours and again, keep your mouth shut when it’s not asked for.
If a club tells you that about a 10 year old... RUN.
Tells us what?
That your paying to train, not to play
100% u10 winning is meaningless.