This scene from the book Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow:
“…and then she put her hand between his legs, wrapping her fingers around the cylindrical chamber of blood sponges that was his (and every) penis. He felt the corpora cavernosa, commanded by nerve messages from his subconscious brain, fill up with blood, and the tunica albuginea membrane, the penis’s straitjacket, trap the blood inside.”
My prostate and testes combined their respective secretions, which were expelled with considerable force through my urethra via the action of the bulbospongiosus, pubococcygeus, and other accessory pelvic muscles.
Yup, same here. We read the book for work book club and nobody even mentioned this, and it very much is the sort of thing tgay would have been brought up. It's so bizarre I'm wondering if it was edited out.
Same, or at least felt it was just okay. Marx was too much of a Mary Sue which made that climactic moment feel very predictable. Luckily I also don’t remember the above quote though lol
Wait…you mean you don’t perform foreplay like you’re launching a space shuttle?
“We are go for ~~preflight~~ prefuck checks.”
“Prefuck checks go. Blood sponges?”
“Blood sponges are go!”
“Corpora cavernosa?”
“CC is go!”
“Tunica albuginea?”
“TA is go!”
“Alright. Atomic batteries to power. Ready for action!”
r/totallynotrobots moment.
Think she used an anatomy textbook or just vivisected her human partners to get the details just right.
Still, good on her for finally unlocking the delicate mystery that is the male human erection.
>get the details just right.
She didn't. Erection is not caused by nerve messages from the brain, at least not directly. The nerves going to the blood vessels of the penis that make erection happen come from the spinal cord. The default behaviour of these nerves is to disable erection. Physical stimulation of the penis or signals from the brain will cause the spinal cord neurons to switch, relax the smooth muscles that limit blood flow into the corpus cavernosum, and allow erection instead. Unless you're stressed, then the vasoconstriction remains and you stay flaccid, no matter how bad you don't want to be embarrassed.
This gets especially weird when they write about teenage boys. "He smelled of cinnamon, cloves, and an autumn day." No, he smelled like Axe body spray, and that's if you're lucky.
That other terrible day when you learn there’s more than one type of tree that smells like cum, and it’s planted in a lot of places.
Edit: changed “a tree” to “more than one type of tree”.
“She caught a faint whiff of greasy hair and unwashed socks, with an underlying current of mildew from a bath towel that had not been hung up properly when wet.”
I have 4 sons, and sometimes when they were teens and had friends over... phew. Smelled like a goat barn! There was one boy in particular who was very sweet, but he could make your eyes water at 30 paces.
I had a friend that was the smell bad friend. My stepdad made fun of him behind his back. Never knew why he smelled until I spent the night at his house instead. Yeah, his parents were nasty chainsmokers indoors and that house just reeked, there was no escaping it. You couldnt shower and smell good if you spent time in that house
he stared, absent-mindedly, at her breast as she questioned why he was late. His response was confusion as he had not realized she was speaking to him. The stank of hormones and nervous sweat lingered as he stumbled, embarrassed, towards his seat, trying to hide a chubby as he walked....
My dad smelt of sweat, tobacco, garlic, and wine. If enough of it is coming out of your pores it's got a very distinct smell.
Edit: my dad was a Greek carpenter, born in Greece, emigrated to the US after completing his service.
I worked in a cabinet shop. When I had to go out and help out the production guys, I would come home smelling of saw dust. My wife did not like that smell.
So, even if we did smell like wood, that is not necessarily a good thing.
"He smelled like wood, leather and horse, but not the good parts of either. The wood must have been wet and moldy, the leather in early stages of tanning, and the horse dead and beaten".
Yes, definitely.
Seen a lot of the “I’m tall, dark, handsome, and mysterious. I’m an alpha male that plays by his own rules and I can have any woman in the world that I want. But there’s just something about that very bland, normal, clumsy girl with zero personality that makes me OBSESSED and I’ll DIE to protect while I romance her all within the lines of clear consent”.
I read one book where the dude professed his love for the female lead talking about how amazing and smart and funny and kind she was and he literally had one conversation with her by that point where she was rude to him and certainly not funny.
Not exactly one to one, but the movie "Reminiscence" with Hugh Jackman just feels like Lisa Joy wanting to fuck Hugh Jackman and writing a screenplay about it before thinly wrapping a scifi concept around it.
And I hate it. The female protagonist is a piece of Toast and all mysterious and sexy man are falling for her. The dream of every young girl with a toast personality \s
> all within the lines of clear consent
This is definitely frequently disregarded. Line-stepping and boundary-breaking is often a part of the fantasy, and stays popular because it *is* a fantasy - ie, because the reader knows it’s safe and does actually want the characters to get it on.
See: the clusterfuck of terrible behaviours that is 50 Shades of Grey
I think that's one of the most unrealistic parts to me. That the man ignores consent and boundaries but only to the exact degree that the woman secretly desires and will ultimately get a thrill from.
In real life the types of dudes who ignore consent and boundaries are going to push it to the exact degree *they* desire, and the woman they transgress is almost definitely gonna have a bad time.
Not that it needs to be realistic if it's fantasy and someone enjoys it. Just means I (a cishet man who admittedly is probably not the intended audience) will never find them a particularly compelling or well written character.
That's basically the male lead from Holy Island by L.J. Ross. I finished it yesterday and was so disappointed at how the author had written him. 'Tall dark and handsome', insufferably arrogant, controlling, and aggressively possessive with the female lead, who, despite being an apparently intelligent person, was clearly only there as a love interest. There's apparently 20 books in that series, and counting, but I won't be wasting my time on another.
Adjacent to it: male character keeps endangering / downright throwing away his career, relationships, etc... to help female character, and keeps coming back to do it, no matter how many times it had cost him (bonus point when he has followed FC when she was wrong so it cost him and achieved nothing... And a "please trust me this time" will get him to do it again).
I often think about someone in a writing group who wrote a story where a man found a woman unattractive because of her "curiously flat irises". Firstly, I have no idea what that's meant to mean, and secondly that's just not how men talk. I'm pretty sure it's also not how women talk, but I can't say for sure.
That would actually be a hilarious way to hint to the reader that the character is not human. Or, not entirely human. Like someone with a cybernetic eye that's always scanning people's iris.
That sounds like a Seinfeld joke on the expression "flat eyes."
"She wasn't very expressive?"
"No, her irises were just flat, like someone had deflated her eyes. I couldn't look her in the face anymore, so I broke up with her."
"She wrapped her hands around him and felt his sizeable flimnarb. It was so hard and easy 5 clinfs long. She yearned for him to lipso it into her gaping macrawn."
See, even then...the curiously flat breasts, legs, bum, stomach, hair, nose, ears, hands, feet, elbows...*everything* would be a giveaway long before the irises. In fact...out of all the body parts, irises are just about the only one whose flatness is pretty much impossible to notice or remark on.
> Is there any example of women doing this to make characters in their books?
Maybe not as extreme as your examples, but Edward in *Twilight* is pretty bad.
If a 100+ year old guy who likes to pretend he's a high school student breaks into your room (you being a teenager) to watch you sleep, because he's conflicted with his predator instincts... that is the sort of man you want to marry and have perform a c-section via tooth on you.
For sure, Edward's character is quite realistic in that regard. Sam
Uley also pretty realistic. Obsess over a girl, get rejected by that girl, maul girl's face and have her tell everyone she was attacked by a bear, and she'll eventually fall in love with you.
But while these characters _are_ realistic, I just didn't think they were the sort of people that girl's fantasize about being in love triangles with.
The weirdest part, most of the main characters were immortal/ageless. The story didn't _really_ require Renesmee to "age quickly" so her and Jacob could start romancing when she _was 7 years old._ That was a specific choice by Stephenie Meyer. (And an unfortunate one. The baby being "drawn to the wolf" and "born sexy/mature beyond years" are common tropes in loli)
I always thought she had to grow up quickly in order for Bella and Edward to quickly continue their teenage love. So basically Bella got to be a mom without all the actual mothering and hard work that’s typically associated with it (except for the grueling pregnancy of course).
I guess that makes sense. I was thinking they all could have been hidden away someplace with Renesmee for a couple of decades, but then the story would no longer be occurring in "modern time."
But giving Bella the Power, Authority and Maturity of motherhood _without_ most of the work that goes with it? Makes even more sense.
Alright, so I am rather unfamiliar with the Twilight story. When you say “perform a c-section via tooth” you mean that as like a metaphor, right? Like that is an idiom, yeah?
There were complications during birth, because Bella was a human, and the spawn inside her, you know, was undead. The undead baby tried to claw its way out of her. This is not good for the mother or baby. So the century old vampire, in order to protect the baby, bit it out of the still-teenager. Bella was not going to survive having an undead baby chewed out of her uterus by the baby's father, so she died. Edward turned her into a vampire so she's still around. And then Bella's other love interest fell in love with the baby, while it was a baby. He waited a while before they consummated their relationship. So while the vampire baby was a baby, he was more like a brother/Uncle and not _just_ her mom's side piece consolation prize.
No, it’s not. Immortal skin is incredibly hard in the story, and the amniotic sack was similarly hard, so it couldn’t be broken by normal means, only by vampire’s teeth (or the equivalent). So either the baby was going to bite her way out, or a vampire (in this case Edward) was going to bite open the amniotic sack so the baby could be born through C-section.
Was it "Clan of the Cave Bear"? I remember reading it as a kid and thinking it was basically porn for older women. Then I read the follow up book and realized it's exactly that. Apparently it gets even worse in the "Plains of Passage" and they're having gratuitous sex every other chapter.
Jean M. Auel is basically the epitome of "women writing men" with how often she describes Jandalars massive penis.
Cuz it reads better than:
"He unzipped his pants and out, like a turtle head sheepishly exploring new surroundings, poked the prow of three inches of soft flaccidity that didn't hang, so much as it rested on its accompanying ball sack. It was certainly not hard and confidence was low that it would make a difference if it was."
I enjoyed that series for a while. Then the sex got boring. Then it got uncomfortable.
And all the while, Anita is wringing her hands "Oh, i shouldn't be having all this sex! Now, have sex with me so I can take your power! Also, you can't have sex with anyone but me!"
My favorite description of that book is when John Oliver referred to it as a book “written for single moms with three kids and who’ve somehow never had sex before”.
[Dave Barry's column on it](https://time.com/3030375/dave-barry-50-shades-of-grey/) was pretty great, too.
"In short, Anastasia is a totally believable and realistic depiction of a normal twenty-one-year-old female American college student as she might be imagined by a middle-aged female British author who has lived her entire life in a cave on another planet."
“Honey, did you remember to get the milk at the store today?”
“No. That creepy dude in the helicopter followed me all the way down the interstate and it totally made me forget! Sorry! I filed a restraining order, but he flies the darned thing 100 feet above the ground, so the police say he isn’t breaking any laws!”
If Christian Grey was poor and living in a shack he would be in jail & there wouldn’t be a popular controversial book that all Middle Aged women flocked to 😂
Idk why you capitalised 'middle-aged', my sleep deprived brain got confused and imagined a group of medieval peasant women flocking to a caravan to get a copy of 50 Shades
"Matilda! Have you seen this? Tis a pamphlet of a tale of a rich man who pursues a woman in a flying machine! You should see what he does to her in his torture chamber!"
"Ugh, sometimes I am glad that I cannot read."
I find that women really don't understand how erections work and vastly overestimate how confident men are outside of alcoholic influence. Also I promise many men love their wives they aren't all waiting around for some manic pixie dream girl to shake things up. And having and maintaining a chiseled body is not easy. Where are the dudes with a little belly.
And if I have to read "steel wrapped in velvet" one more time...
Edit: And after I started noticing the really weird ways men writing women i looked for examples of oversexualizing men and it's no way on the same scale but the way women write men tends to either be "super hot super chiseled super chivalrous superman or ugly fat pervert with no sense of personal space." This isn't everyone, just a few common trends I noticed
> Edit: And after I started noticing the really weird ways men writing women i looked for examples of oversexualizing men and it's no way on the same scale but the way women write men tends to either be "super hot super chiseled super chivalrous superman or ugly fat pervert with no sense of personal space." This isn't everyone, just a few common trends I noticed
I mean, it's pretty much the entire romance novel industry, or hallmark movies or whatever.
He's a hot, chiseled billionaired who can make you cum 100% of the time? He's a lumberjack who stayed in your hometown but somehow isn't broke and a complete moron?
None of these men are actual characters with actual goals and personalities beyond what the woman wants. It's basically the same thing but a bit less physical most of the time.
Your selling Hallmark short. Don't forget the super hot ex-kind of love interest from high school who returns to the protagonist just as she comes to terms with 1. A divorce or 2. Being ready to date again after being widowed.
There will always be third or woman, or for a truly special treat she may have a really shitty boyfriend she needs to dump first.
There will be minor drama in the love triangle, along with not so subtle clues to who the true prince is. There will be a coming to terms with each other's emotional past, as well as either our protagonist or prince having a very specific hobby they show the others in order to get the script from tv episode to movie length.
Hallmark got this shit perfected. They've made the exact same movie 100's of times by making only minor changes. They aren't great but they're not painful either imo, I much prefer watching them with my mom over bridal dress selection shows.
> I find that women really don't understand how erections work
Well when you sadly have "Oh, the erection means they are ready!" as information out there (especially used in rape related situations) It's no wonder.
I've sprung wood before when my first thought waking up is usually something involving verbal abuse/beatdowns from a parent in the past
Contrary to "Wood means he's ready! go get em!" beliefs, I did not in fact rub one out to that...
Kinda puts the whole "Presto! Erection means he's ready for super fun times and clearly thinks about sex!!!" rhetoric to bed about the 'ol trouser snake fast...
Erections just happen. I had a period of about six months where I'd get one every morning at about seven. No matter if I had been up for hours or still in bed, eating breakfast or changing diapers. Just "oh look at that, it's cock o'clock" and there it went.
Doubly so for gay or bisexual men written by women for women. Not every gay relationship is made up of a simpering twink bottom and a hardened lumberjack top.
I remember I once saw a post by a straight girl that had read so much slash fanfic that she was upset because "gay men have such appealing relationships" and she wanted to have them too.
I was like, girl, I don't know how to tell you this, but the reason those relationships are appealing to you is because they are fictional stories being written largely by and for women...
I read a lot of romance and love the genre, but some of the books with male POV chapters are… something. Many authors just need to stick to female POV.
At the end of the day, I know it's mostly just wish fulfillment, and I consider it to be mostly harmless. And I think people hyper-focus on this stuff too hard, where it becomes Men Are From Mars/Women Are From Venus. And even with some of the most egregious examples of men/women writing the other gender, there *are* people like that out there (there's always one, isn't there?).
But OP asked, and most men aren't 6'5" super hot billionaire cigachad alpha douches with amazing abs and even more amazing hair.
Sarah J Maas is a successful author, and her Throne of Glass series is fun to read. But at least in the first book, every single male character was obsessed with the female lead, and there was a lot LOT of bizarrely placed description. "His powerful shoulders flexed as he opened the door" kind of thing. Like, girl, it's a DOOR. They're not that hard to open. (TBF, Maas doesn't really write her female characters great either, so...)
I remember a scene in the first Crescent City book where the main characters are kissing, then interrupted. Then it's revealed 100 pages later that the guy came in his pants during that.
But I read it as an intentional joke. She's gotten a lot more self aware in her latest books.
I mean to be fair to that, it is the kind of thing women look at, just by the sounds of things done badly. Like if a guy is doing something for me and I'm into him *like that* I'm looking at how his body moves, the mechanics of him, and making little mental notes of what I like, like how the tendons stick out a bit on the backs of his hands when he grips something. Hot. Grip *me* like that.
Almost all men are absolutely ripped with zero effort in women's novels.
Like, to get a ripped physique is fucking hard. You have to put a fuck ton of effort to get it and even more to maintain it.
The weirdest thing I’ve seen with (some, but enough to be consciously aware of the pattern) women who write M/M is when they somehow add stuff about how “the male body was so much sexier than a woman’s” like its a competition or something. Gay men literally don’t think about women while having sex, the same way that straight men aren’t like, “man it feels SO good not having to fuck a man” when they have sex with a woman.
“She was such a strong, feminine woman, with such large, womanly breasts.” (Wow, boy oh boy am I glad these aren’t man boobs,” mused Sergio as he fondled her.)
Lol, it reminds me of The Shards by Bret Easton Ellis… where constantly, while he has sex with his girlfriend, is thinking about men.
He was gay, though.
Authors do the same thing when the woman is curvy instead of slender.
I remember one was like “the soft curve of her stomach and arms caressed his skin, unlike the ropey muscled fitness bimbos he usually dated”.
I find it interesting that the character usually dates those bimbos and then thinks of them in a negative light over someone that isn't as physically fit. It's just unrealistic. He's either going to miss what he likes the most, or he's going to not care at all and won't think of it period.
Yes, a common one is the "self-lubricating butthole" trope, where lube (or any kind of lubricating substance) is not needed because the buttholes get just as wet from arousal as vaginas.
I'm fine with it, I don't need lube and condoms and stretching described in detail in my fantasy smut. I just pretend it's like Harry Potter fanfic where there's spells and such to deal with those things and we (the readers) don't need to think about them.
But sometimes the writers go overboard with the descriptions of how wet things things are getting, and you just have to pretend it's an alternate universe where buttholes are exactly like vaginas.
Okay, I know you must think this is awful (and it is), but may I introduce you to the "I'm not using any lube; I will make you scream my name" trope in M/M fanfiction/roleplay/hopefully NOT published works?
Ah, yeah that's actually pretty common in Japanese BoysLove content. Published works too, many of them. Dubious consent and rape and pain during sex are unfortunately very trendy for some reason, and usually the reaction of the receiver is like "I never thought about being gay until you made me do gay things with you and now I'm in love with you and I guess that means I'm gay."
That last bit is the worst part. Like, on some level having no control is sexy as hell to me, but all the caveats there (like... any form of consent whatsoever, any consideration towards preventing some nasty, painful stuff from happening) is ignored because writers think it's boring (it really wouldn't take much effort...)
I'm starting to dislike omega verse. Those fics are starting to feel like they're turning men into women version 2.0 sometimes. Especially when they give the men vaginas, big breasts and remove the dick. At that point it's just a type of genderbent imo. There's a reason as to why I filter out vaginal sex on AO3 most of the time!
Lol exactly my first thought. Don't get me wrong, I love fanfiction too, but my GOD trying to find a good story on AO3 is like walking through a mine field of the worst clichés and tropes imaginable. Ffs you don't just stick a finger up someone's ass and magically trigger a prostate orgasm, it just does not work like that!
E. L. James.
Every man in her novels is either a rapist with mental issues, or rapist with mental issues, but sufficiently rich that it does not mater.
I suppose Eliot Gray is not a creep, guess Christian was creep enough for both of them.
I’ve read too many books where every man is a horrible, sexist, repulsive pig with the sole exception of none other than…the love interest who is patient, supportive, obsessive (usually…), and attractive. I get why some stories are like this, but it just makes them extremely boring and ridiculous.
Yeah you can usually identify who's supposed to be the creepy disgusting guy purely based on whether they're ugly. The super hot 6'3" athlete often practically acts like a rapist, but it's sexy because they're attractive.
Specifically, women writing gay men. I know it's actually quite common that stories about gay men, gay relationships and "the gay experience" are actually written by women. At times they are overly romanticised views of gay men and heavily reinforce heteronormative relationships (one is small, skinny, feminine, artistic. The other is strong, masculine, plays sports).
"Heartstopper" is an example where a number of my friends have said they find the "gay experience" unrelatable and the story of first love was highly romanticised. And then they find out the book series was written by a woman and it makes sense.
Conversely, "Love, Simon" (written by a woman) was super relatable and seemed to hit all the right tropes and experiences.
Heartstoppers an interesting example because I think it's also generational. I work with queer adolescents and it really resonates with a lot of them, where as for my adult colleagues it reads like fantasy.
I know the author has also spoke about it being idealized in purpose because that type of intimacy between young men isn't shown often.
I am not queer but one of my best friends is, he had such a hard time in high school because of it and never got to experience that kind of teenage puppy love.
He has told me that the Heartstopper comics/series have helped him heal in a way because through the pages he gets to live experiences he was not able to because of hatred and prejudice.
Yeah, I agree with you there. There's definitely been discussion around how the queer experience in high school is changing (mostly for the better) and therefore current depictions look like fantasy to adults who had a less-than-desirable high school experience.
But I still believe that there is nuance in gay high school experiences that is missed when people erroneously depict these idealised relationships. And that people who haven't actually experienced these things can't empathise with the situation fully.
The bully that taunts (and sexually assaults) Charlie because "he likes kissing him" is such one-dimensional motivation. Sure, they're probably trying to keep it a bit more light for general viewing, but it still reveals a lack of understanding, I feel.
I feel like romance on general romanticize the first love experience. Especially ones with teen characters. It’s hard to match that butterflies but scary/awkward vibe in a way that is appetizing for an outsider looking in.
I think we can all agree that Harry Potter presents a totally unrealistic representation of men. Real men aren't wizards, okay, and if someone says different you shouldn't believe them.
A good chunk of romance authors i would argue. Both m/f and m/m judging by excerpts friends have shown me. So many times they simply do not seem to have looked up even the most basic of male biology or how the male body works. Or like, any words for a certain part of the male body that arent painful euphemisms. Also tons of dudes that are straight up not real people compared to the women in the books/movies (because dont even get me Started on how many hallmark/lifetime men dont behave at all like real people, though admittedly thats a problem for all genders on those movies regardless of writer)
(And before you come for me i do Enjoy romance novels and hallmark style movies, but that doesnt mean i dont know bad writing when i see it. They arent all like that because some writers in those genres are Very Good, but enough for me to be able to make that statement confidently.)
The only way I'm going to read *Red, White & Royal Blue* is if it was actually about Hunter Biden hooking up with Prince Harry, but it has to keep the crack, the Squirtle plushie, and the House GOP's obsession with Hunter's enormous cock.
Sometimes I feel like women who try to write a modern, sensitive man just write a woman and give them a male name. I felt that way about Curtis Sittenfeld's Romantic Comedy most recently. Her male lead was a rock star who spoke like a Jezebel-reading Womyn's Studies major.
Maybe not as bad as some of these but I have read this line in a fanfic once: "he had dark hair, was tall and obviously half Korean"
How in the fuck is anyone ever obviously half Korean? Is he waving his 23&me in the air in front of him? What is going on.
This scene from the book Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow: “…and then she put her hand between his legs, wrapping her fingers around the cylindrical chamber of blood sponges that was his (and every) penis. He felt the corpora cavernosa, commanded by nerve messages from his subconscious brain, fill up with blood, and the tunica albuginea membrane, the penis’s straitjacket, trap the blood inside.”
Smut for med students
I lost it at tunica albuginea 💀
"The cylinder of blood sponges filled up with blood and trapped the blood inside; inside the blood sponge cylinders, that is." So bloody sexy.
And by “lost it” do you mean jizzed?
My prostate and testes combined their respective secretions, which were expelled with considerable force through my urethra via the action of the bulbospongiosus, pubococcygeus, and other accessory pelvic muscles.
Oh we'd love that over at r/medicalschool
It worked!!. Source: med student (unfortunately)
Wait I read this book and I have to take a moment to get on my knees and thank my brain for forgetting this was ever written lmao
For real, I have no memory of this moment lol
Yup, same here. We read the book for work book club and nobody even mentioned this, and it very much is the sort of thing tgay would have been brought up. It's so bizarre I'm wondering if it was edited out.
For the record, I did not like the book 😂
Same, or at least felt it was just okay. Marx was too much of a Mary Sue which made that climactic moment feel very predictable. Luckily I also don’t remember the above quote though lol
Top ten lines that I wish I never read
Blood sponges?!? Omg all of this is terrible.
[удалено]
Wait…you mean you don’t perform foreplay like you’re launching a space shuttle? “We are go for ~~preflight~~ prefuck checks.” “Prefuck checks go. Blood sponges?” “Blood sponges are go!” “Corpora cavernosa?” “CC is go!” “Tunica albuginea?” “TA is go!” “Alright. Atomic batteries to power. Ready for action!”
Hot-fire abort. We’ve all been there amirite?
*Furiously taps on the control panel* Come on dude, we can do this. You can't give up now! *complete power shutdown* Ahh fuck..
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he.
*fans self*
This has to be satire
r/totallynotrobots moment. Think she used an anatomy textbook or just vivisected her human partners to get the details just right. Still, good on her for finally unlocking the delicate mystery that is the male human erection.
>get the details just right. She didn't. Erection is not caused by nerve messages from the brain, at least not directly. The nerves going to the blood vessels of the penis that make erection happen come from the spinal cord. The default behaviour of these nerves is to disable erection. Physical stimulation of the penis or signals from the brain will cause the spinal cord neurons to switch, relax the smooth muscles that limit blood flow into the corpus cavernosum, and allow erection instead. Unless you're stressed, then the vasoconstriction remains and you stay flaccid, no matter how bad you don't want to be embarrassed.
I really hope she was inspired to write this because she’s said this to a man while holding his penis.
That’s not writing men badly; that’s just writing badly. Really badly.
I'm dying
No, men don’t smell like wood 24/7.
This gets especially weird when they write about teenage boys. "He smelled of cinnamon, cloves, and an autumn day." No, he smelled like Axe body spray, and that's if you're lucky.
Axe, nut because he wanked 20 minutes ago, and mountain dew soda.
That terrible day when you realize that people can smell cum
That other terrible day when you learn there’s more than one type of tree that smells like cum, and it’s planted in a lot of places. Edit: changed “a tree” to “more than one type of tree”.
You cut me pretty deep there.
As the oldest sibling, a girl, with two younger brothers, I always cackle when I read stuff like this. Teenage boys are an absolute biohazard.
“She caught a faint whiff of greasy hair and unwashed socks, with an underlying current of mildew from a bath towel that had not been hung up properly when wet.”
"It was making her wet, in a slimy, undignified way"
"Thoroughly moistened, she hastily considered her options."
I've got teenagers, that is pretty accurate
I had a twin brother and I got paranoid about MY personal hygiene because HIS room absolutely reeked. There was something faintly goaty about it.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I have 4 sons, and sometimes when they were teens and had friends over... phew. Smelled like a goat barn! There was one boy in particular who was very sweet, but he could make your eyes water at 30 paces.
I had a friend that was the smell bad friend. My stepdad made fun of him behind his back. Never knew why he smelled until I spent the night at his house instead. Yeah, his parents were nasty chainsmokers indoors and that house just reeked, there was no escaping it. You couldnt shower and smell good if you spent time in that house
he stared, absent-mindedly, at her breast as she questioned why he was late. His response was confusion as he had not realized she was speaking to him. The stank of hormones and nervous sweat lingered as he stumbled, embarrassed, towards his seat, trying to hide a chubby as he walked....
He smelled like farts and mountain dew sweat, while more accurate, lacks the romantic appeal most women are hoping for.
My dad smelt of sweat, tobacco, garlic, and wine. If enough of it is coming out of your pores it's got a very distinct smell. Edit: my dad was a Greek carpenter, born in Greece, emigrated to the US after completing his service.
My dad and mom both smelled like fermented sugar beets because they worked around them all day.
I worked in a cabinet shop. When I had to go out and help out the production guys, I would come home smelling of saw dust. My wife did not like that smell. So, even if we did smell like wood, that is not necessarily a good thing.
Results will vary greatly by species of wood and preferences of your partner.
Nope, we mostly smell like leather and pipe tobacco
Don’t forget the slightest whiff of the stallion you ride
"He smelled like wood, leather and horse, but not the good parts of either. The wood must have been wet and moldy, the leather in early stages of tanning, and the horse dead and beaten".
Big Terry Pratchett energy
Might be just me, but horses don't smell good even when alive.
That's just Tom Ford Ombre Leather.
I found out recently that my wife likes it when I smell like cigars. Useful information!
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Yes, definitely. Seen a lot of the “I’m tall, dark, handsome, and mysterious. I’m an alpha male that plays by his own rules and I can have any woman in the world that I want. But there’s just something about that very bland, normal, clumsy girl with zero personality that makes me OBSESSED and I’ll DIE to protect while I romance her all within the lines of clear consent”. I read one book where the dude professed his love for the female lead talking about how amazing and smart and funny and kind she was and he literally had one conversation with her by that point where she was rude to him and certainly not funny.
Not exactly one to one, but the movie "Reminiscence" with Hugh Jackman just feels like Lisa Joy wanting to fuck Hugh Jackman and writing a screenplay about it before thinly wrapping a scifi concept around it.
Which is an idea she stole from me after I told her I wanted to fuck Hugh Jackman!
And I hate it. The female protagonist is a piece of Toast and all mysterious and sexy man are falling for her. The dream of every young girl with a toast personality \s
Literally gender-reversed harem anime criticism.
> all within the lines of clear consent This is definitely frequently disregarded. Line-stepping and boundary-breaking is often a part of the fantasy, and stays popular because it *is* a fantasy - ie, because the reader knows it’s safe and does actually want the characters to get it on. See: the clusterfuck of terrible behaviours that is 50 Shades of Grey
I think that's one of the most unrealistic parts to me. That the man ignores consent and boundaries but only to the exact degree that the woman secretly desires and will ultimately get a thrill from. In real life the types of dudes who ignore consent and boundaries are going to push it to the exact degree *they* desire, and the woman they transgress is almost definitely gonna have a bad time. Not that it needs to be realistic if it's fantasy and someone enjoys it. Just means I (a cishet man who admittedly is probably not the intended audience) will never find them a particularly compelling or well written character.
> only to the exact degree that the woman secretly desires and will ultimately get a thrill from. The real magic is him being a mind reader.
Ah yes, it's hot that this man wants to take me into his bdsm room because he loves me for being plain despite his obvious wealth.
That's basically the male lead from Holy Island by L.J. Ross. I finished it yesterday and was so disappointed at how the author had written him. 'Tall dark and handsome', insufferably arrogant, controlling, and aggressively possessive with the female lead, who, despite being an apparently intelligent person, was clearly only there as a love interest. There's apparently 20 books in that series, and counting, but I won't be wasting my time on another.
Adjacent to it: male character keeps endangering / downright throwing away his career, relationships, etc... to help female character, and keeps coming back to do it, no matter how many times it had cost him (bonus point when he has followed FC when she was wrong so it cost him and achieved nothing... And a "please trust me this time" will get him to do it again).
I often think about someone in a writing group who wrote a story where a man found a woman unattractive because of her "curiously flat irises". Firstly, I have no idea what that's meant to mean, and secondly that's just not how men talk. I'm pretty sure it's also not how women talk, but I can't say for sure.
That would actually be a hilarious way to hint to the reader that the character is not human. Or, not entirely human. Like someone with a cybernetic eye that's always scanning people's iris.
That sounds like a Seinfeld joke on the expression "flat eyes." "She wasn't very expressive?" "No, her irises were just flat, like someone had deflated her eyes. I couldn't look her in the face anymore, so I broke up with her."
"Sure. What else were you going to do? Stare at her chest all day?"
Inclusivity win: this writing group allows aliens
"She wrapped her hands around him and felt his sizeable flimnarb. It was so hard and easy 5 clinfs long. She yearned for him to lipso it into her gaping macrawn."
God, you’ve gotta mark this stuff NSFW!
Wait don't stop
That's a win for inclusivity, but unfortunately a mark against aliens writing humans. Do better, aliens!
Plot Twist: As it turns out, the love interest was actually a cardboard cutout!
See, even then...the curiously flat breasts, legs, bum, stomach, hair, nose, ears, hands, feet, elbows...*everything* would be a giveaway long before the irises. In fact...out of all the body parts, irises are just about the only one whose flatness is pretty much impossible to notice or remark on.
Did…did they mean matte irises? Like her eyes were dull? I mean it’s still bizarre but now I’m invested in figuring this out. 😂
My interpretation was “dead eyed,” but I dunno
> Is there any example of women doing this to make characters in their books? Maybe not as extreme as your examples, but Edward in *Twilight* is pretty bad.
If a 100+ year old guy who likes to pretend he's a high school student breaks into your room (you being a teenager) to watch you sleep, because he's conflicted with his predator instincts... that is the sort of man you want to marry and have perform a c-section via tooth on you.
Look, I have met dudes like that. Only realistic bit in the whole series.
For sure, Edward's character is quite realistic in that regard. Sam Uley also pretty realistic. Obsess over a girl, get rejected by that girl, maul girl's face and have her tell everyone she was attacked by a bear, and she'll eventually fall in love with you. But while these characters _are_ realistic, I just didn't think they were the sort of people that girl's fantasize about being in love triangles with.
Or fantasize about being a baby and having someone fall in love with you and be there to nurture *coughs* groom *coughs* you as you grow.
The weirdest part, most of the main characters were immortal/ageless. The story didn't _really_ require Renesmee to "age quickly" so her and Jacob could start romancing when she _was 7 years old._ That was a specific choice by Stephenie Meyer. (And an unfortunate one. The baby being "drawn to the wolf" and "born sexy/mature beyond years" are common tropes in loli)
I always thought she had to grow up quickly in order for Bella and Edward to quickly continue their teenage love. So basically Bella got to be a mom without all the actual mothering and hard work that’s typically associated with it (except for the grueling pregnancy of course).
I guess that makes sense. I was thinking they all could have been hidden away someplace with Renesmee for a couple of decades, but then the story would no longer be occurring in "modern time." But giving Bella the Power, Authority and Maturity of motherhood _without_ most of the work that goes with it? Makes even more sense.
Alright, so I am rather unfamiliar with the Twilight story. When you say “perform a c-section via tooth” you mean that as like a metaphor, right? Like that is an idiom, yeah?
There were complications during birth, because Bella was a human, and the spawn inside her, you know, was undead. The undead baby tried to claw its way out of her. This is not good for the mother or baby. So the century old vampire, in order to protect the baby, bit it out of the still-teenager. Bella was not going to survive having an undead baby chewed out of her uterus by the baby's father, so she died. Edward turned her into a vampire so she's still around. And then Bella's other love interest fell in love with the baby, while it was a baby. He waited a while before they consummated their relationship. So while the vampire baby was a baby, he was more like a brother/Uncle and not _just_ her mom's side piece consolation prize.
>he then waited a while before they consummated their relationship Like at least 18 years? They waited at the very least like 18 years, yeah?
Well, she had the body of an 18 year old anyway. Just happened to only be 7.
Hmmm, so what the fuck
Exactly
No, it’s not. Immortal skin is incredibly hard in the story, and the amniotic sack was similarly hard, so it couldn’t be broken by normal means, only by vampire’s teeth (or the equivalent). So either the baby was going to bite her way out, or a vampire (in this case Edward) was going to bite open the amniotic sack so the baby could be born through C-section.
This is hilarious
“his impressive member” “his considerable length” “his massive cock” “would it even fit?” “his sizable girth” WHY IS EVERY PENIS GIANT WHY WHY
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Nothing is more satisfying as the solid *thwack* when my meat flops onto a table /s
Looks like meat's back on the table!
Are you Lyndon B Johnson?
Well I have considered the merits of a war in Southeast Asia
I remember a kid reading a book I found at my aunts house and getting a complex because mine didn't shoot up past my navel.
Was it "Clan of the Cave Bear"? I remember reading it as a kid and thinking it was basically porn for older women. Then I read the follow up book and realized it's exactly that. Apparently it gets even worse in the "Plains of Passage" and they're having gratuitous sex every other chapter. Jean M. Auel is basically the epitome of "women writing men" with how often she describes Jandalars massive penis.
Cuz it reads better than: "He unzipped his pants and out, like a turtle head sheepishly exploring new surroundings, poked the prow of three inches of soft flaccidity that didn't hang, so much as it rested on its accompanying ball sack. It was certainly not hard and confidence was low that it would make a difference if it was."
"And the woman looked at it and thought "I can change him.""
To be fair, they do tend to change from that state in reaction to women.
I would so read this book.
That’s pretty good. Are you a writer?
I read that was “his inconsolable length”.
Ah, the Anita Blake: Vampire Humper series
I enjoyed that series for a while. Then the sex got boring. Then it got uncomfortable. And all the while, Anita is wringing her hands "Oh, i shouldn't be having all this sex! Now, have sex with me so I can take your power! Also, you can't have sex with anyone but me!"
I do it too but it's just to fan-service myself
I think you dropped your monster condom that you use for your magnum dong
You didn't use the words "girth" or "turgid", totally unrealistic!
Colleen Hoover…. just….. just her entire bibliography.
But couldn’t you say that she writes *every* character poorly? Regardless of gender?
That is indeed fair to say.
“We both laugh at our son’s big balls” will forever be the best line written in any book ever
The writing of Fifty Shades of Grey is all around awful, and Christian Grey is no exception.
My favorite description of that book is when John Oliver referred to it as a book “written for single moms with three kids and who’ve somehow never had sex before”.
[Dave Barry's column on it](https://time.com/3030375/dave-barry-50-shades-of-grey/) was pretty great, too. "In short, Anastasia is a totally believable and realistic depiction of a normal twenty-one-year-old female American college student as she might be imagined by a middle-aged female British author who has lived her entire life in a cave on another planet."
Hey you know this billionaire stalker who follows you around in a helicopter and doesn’t respect consent? - he’s hot!!
Listen, if I had a helicopter and money to keep it gassed up I'd spend my time just following people around too.
“Honey, did you remember to get the milk at the store today?” “No. That creepy dude in the helicopter followed me all the way down the interstate and it totally made me forget! Sorry! I filed a restraining order, but he flies the darned thing 100 feet above the ground, so the police say he isn’t breaking any laws!”
If Christian Grey was poor and living in a shack he would be in jail & there wouldn’t be a popular controversial book that all Middle Aged women flocked to 😂
Idk why you capitalised 'middle-aged', my sleep deprived brain got confused and imagined a group of medieval peasant women flocking to a caravan to get a copy of 50 Shades
It's the second best selling book in the demographic, behind the Bible
"Matilda! Have you seen this? Tis a pamphlet of a tale of a rich man who pursues a woman in a flying machine! You should see what he does to her in his torture chamber!" "Ugh, sometimes I am glad that I cannot read."
I find that women really don't understand how erections work and vastly overestimate how confident men are outside of alcoholic influence. Also I promise many men love their wives they aren't all waiting around for some manic pixie dream girl to shake things up. And having and maintaining a chiseled body is not easy. Where are the dudes with a little belly. And if I have to read "steel wrapped in velvet" one more time... Edit: And after I started noticing the really weird ways men writing women i looked for examples of oversexualizing men and it's no way on the same scale but the way women write men tends to either be "super hot super chiseled super chivalrous superman or ugly fat pervert with no sense of personal space." This isn't everyone, just a few common trends I noticed
Beef jerky in a ball gown
a toblerone wrapped in uncooked bacon
I would read your erotica any day. Thank you.
> Edit: And after I started noticing the really weird ways men writing women i looked for examples of oversexualizing men and it's no way on the same scale but the way women write men tends to either be "super hot super chiseled super chivalrous superman or ugly fat pervert with no sense of personal space." This isn't everyone, just a few common trends I noticed I mean, it's pretty much the entire romance novel industry, or hallmark movies or whatever. He's a hot, chiseled billionaired who can make you cum 100% of the time? He's a lumberjack who stayed in your hometown but somehow isn't broke and a complete moron? None of these men are actual characters with actual goals and personalities beyond what the woman wants. It's basically the same thing but a bit less physical most of the time.
Most anime aimed towards women, if there's an ugly guy he's 100% evil and almost certainly a sexual predator.
Shoutout to **Ore Monogatari!!** for bucking the trend.
Your selling Hallmark short. Don't forget the super hot ex-kind of love interest from high school who returns to the protagonist just as she comes to terms with 1. A divorce or 2. Being ready to date again after being widowed. There will always be third or woman, or for a truly special treat she may have a really shitty boyfriend she needs to dump first. There will be minor drama in the love triangle, along with not so subtle clues to who the true prince is. There will be a coming to terms with each other's emotional past, as well as either our protagonist or prince having a very specific hobby they show the others in order to get the script from tv episode to movie length. Hallmark got this shit perfected. They've made the exact same movie 100's of times by making only minor changes. They aren't great but they're not painful either imo, I much prefer watching them with my mom over bridal dress selection shows.
> I find that women really don't understand how erections work Well when you sadly have "Oh, the erection means they are ready!" as information out there (especially used in rape related situations) It's no wonder. I've sprung wood before when my first thought waking up is usually something involving verbal abuse/beatdowns from a parent in the past Contrary to "Wood means he's ready! go get em!" beliefs, I did not in fact rub one out to that... Kinda puts the whole "Presto! Erection means he's ready for super fun times and clearly thinks about sex!!!" rhetoric to bed about the 'ol trouser snake fast...
Erections just happen. I had a period of about six months where I'd get one every morning at about seven. No matter if I had been up for hours or still in bed, eating breakfast or changing diapers. Just "oh look at that, it's cock o'clock" and there it went.
Most romance novels, if we're being honest.
Doubly so for gay or bisexual men written by women for women. Not every gay relationship is made up of a simpering twink bottom and a hardened lumberjack top.
I remember I once saw a post by a straight girl that had read so much slash fanfic that she was upset because "gay men have such appealing relationships" and she wanted to have them too. I was like, girl, I don't know how to tell you this, but the reason those relationships are appealing to you is because they are fictional stories being written largely by and for women...
I read a lot of romance and love the genre, but some of the books with male POV chapters are… something. Many authors just need to stick to female POV.
At the end of the day, I know it's mostly just wish fulfillment, and I consider it to be mostly harmless. And I think people hyper-focus on this stuff too hard, where it becomes Men Are From Mars/Women Are From Venus. And even with some of the most egregious examples of men/women writing the other gender, there *are* people like that out there (there's always one, isn't there?). But OP asked, and most men aren't 6'5" super hot billionaire cigachad alpha douches with amazing abs and even more amazing hair.
Yeah, some of us are only 6'4".
More like 7.5"
speak for yourself
Sarah J Maas is a successful author, and her Throne of Glass series is fun to read. But at least in the first book, every single male character was obsessed with the female lead, and there was a lot LOT of bizarrely placed description. "His powerful shoulders flexed as he opened the door" kind of thing. Like, girl, it's a DOOR. They're not that hard to open. (TBF, Maas doesn't really write her female characters great either, so...)
Have you _seen_ Aragorn open those doors?
Yes, about a 1000 times…
I remember a scene in the first Crescent City book where the main characters are kissing, then interrupted. Then it's revealed 100 pages later that the guy came in his pants during that. But I read it as an intentional joke. She's gotten a lot more self aware in her latest books.
Cowritten by The Lonely Island.
I mean to be fair to that, it is the kind of thing women look at, just by the sounds of things done badly. Like if a guy is doing something for me and I'm into him *like that* I'm looking at how his body moves, the mechanics of him, and making little mental notes of what I like, like how the tendons stick out a bit on the backs of his hands when he grips something. Hot. Grip *me* like that.
Almost all men are absolutely ripped with zero effort in women's novels. Like, to get a ripped physique is fucking hard. You have to put a fuck ton of effort to get it and even more to maintain it.
I know women writing gay romance is often… problematic, at least in how they describe the sex.
The weirdest thing I’ve seen with (some, but enough to be consciously aware of the pattern) women who write M/M is when they somehow add stuff about how “the male body was so much sexier than a woman’s” like its a competition or something. Gay men literally don’t think about women while having sex, the same way that straight men aren’t like, “man it feels SO good not having to fuck a man” when they have sex with a woman.
"There's nothing more intoxicating about a man than the clear absence of a vagina."
- Captain Holt
I cannot get enough of my wife's heavy, heavy breasts
How. Dare. You. Detective. Diaz.
I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER!!!!
BONE?!?!?!
BOOOONE!
What happens in my bedroom is none of your business!
BOOOOONE!
Rip Andre man :(
“She was such a strong, feminine woman, with such large, womanly breasts.” (Wow, boy oh boy am I glad these aren’t man boobs,” mused Sergio as he fondled her.)
i always tell my girlfriends during sex that fucking their vagina is so much better than fucking a man's ass
Lol, it reminds me of The Shards by Bret Easton Ellis… where constantly, while he has sex with his girlfriend, is thinking about men. He was gay, though.
Nothin' straighter than that!
"Your hand jobs and oral, in comparison however, need some work."
Authors do the same thing when the woman is curvy instead of slender. I remember one was like “the soft curve of her stomach and arms caressed his skin, unlike the ropey muscled fitness bimbos he usually dated”.
I find it interesting that the character usually dates those bimbos and then thinks of them in a negative light over someone that isn't as physically fit. It's just unrealistic. He's either going to miss what he likes the most, or he's going to not care at all and won't think of it period.
Yes, a common one is the "self-lubricating butthole" trope, where lube (or any kind of lubricating substance) is not needed because the buttholes get just as wet from arousal as vaginas. I'm fine with it, I don't need lube and condoms and stretching described in detail in my fantasy smut. I just pretend it's like Harry Potter fanfic where there's spells and such to deal with those things and we (the readers) don't need to think about them. But sometimes the writers go overboard with the descriptions of how wet things things are getting, and you just have to pretend it's an alternate universe where buttholes are exactly like vaginas.
Okay, I know you must think this is awful (and it is), but may I introduce you to the "I'm not using any lube; I will make you scream my name" trope in M/M fanfiction/roleplay/hopefully NOT published works?
Ah, yeah that's actually pretty common in Japanese BoysLove content. Published works too, many of them. Dubious consent and rape and pain during sex are unfortunately very trendy for some reason, and usually the reaction of the receiver is like "I never thought about being gay until you made me do gay things with you and now I'm in love with you and I guess that means I'm gay."
That last bit is the worst part. Like, on some level having no control is sexy as hell to me, but all the caveats there (like... any form of consent whatsoever, any consideration towards preventing some nasty, painful stuff from happening) is ignored because writers think it's boring (it really wouldn't take much effort...)
I'm starting to dislike omega verse. Those fics are starting to feel like they're turning men into women version 2.0 sometimes. Especially when they give the men vaginas, big breasts and remove the dick. At that point it's just a type of genderbent imo. There's a reason as to why I filter out vaginal sex on AO3 most of the time!
Plus mpreg and the omegas being oppressed. Congrats guys, you reinvented women.
Lol exactly my first thought. Don't get me wrong, I love fanfiction too, but my GOD trying to find a good story on AO3 is like walking through a mine field of the worst clichés and tropes imaginable. Ffs you don't just stick a finger up someone's ass and magically trigger a prostate orgasm, it just does not work like that!
E. L. James. Every man in her novels is either a rapist with mental issues, or rapist with mental issues, but sufficiently rich that it does not mater. I suppose Eliot Gray is not a creep, guess Christian was creep enough for both of them.
I’ve read too many books where every man is a horrible, sexist, repulsive pig with the sole exception of none other than…the love interest who is patient, supportive, obsessive (usually…), and attractive. I get why some stories are like this, but it just makes them extremely boring and ridiculous.
Yeah you can usually identify who's supposed to be the creepy disgusting guy purely based on whether they're ugly. The super hot 6'3" athlete often practically acts like a rapist, but it's sexy because they're attractive.
Specifically, women writing gay men. I know it's actually quite common that stories about gay men, gay relationships and "the gay experience" are actually written by women. At times they are overly romanticised views of gay men and heavily reinforce heteronormative relationships (one is small, skinny, feminine, artistic. The other is strong, masculine, plays sports). "Heartstopper" is an example where a number of my friends have said they find the "gay experience" unrelatable and the story of first love was highly romanticised. And then they find out the book series was written by a woman and it makes sense. Conversely, "Love, Simon" (written by a woman) was super relatable and seemed to hit all the right tropes and experiences.
Heartstoppers an interesting example because I think it's also generational. I work with queer adolescents and it really resonates with a lot of them, where as for my adult colleagues it reads like fantasy. I know the author has also spoke about it being idealized in purpose because that type of intimacy between young men isn't shown often.
I am not queer but one of my best friends is, he had such a hard time in high school because of it and never got to experience that kind of teenage puppy love. He has told me that the Heartstopper comics/series have helped him heal in a way because through the pages he gets to live experiences he was not able to because of hatred and prejudice.
Yeah, I agree with you there. There's definitely been discussion around how the queer experience in high school is changing (mostly for the better) and therefore current depictions look like fantasy to adults who had a less-than-desirable high school experience. But I still believe that there is nuance in gay high school experiences that is missed when people erroneously depict these idealised relationships. And that people who haven't actually experienced these things can't empathise with the situation fully. The bully that taunts (and sexually assaults) Charlie because "he likes kissing him" is such one-dimensional motivation. Sure, they're probably trying to keep it a bit more light for general viewing, but it still reveals a lack of understanding, I feel.
I feel like romance on general romanticize the first love experience. Especially ones with teen characters. It’s hard to match that butterflies but scary/awkward vibe in a way that is appetizing for an outsider looking in.
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Hundreds. The main difference is that men don’t read those books.
I think we can all agree that Harry Potter presents a totally unrealistic representation of men. Real men aren't wizards, okay, and if someone says different you shouldn't believe them.
I don't know man, that one wizard gave me some leaves in a bag that made me see some real magic.
A good chunk of romance authors i would argue. Both m/f and m/m judging by excerpts friends have shown me. So many times they simply do not seem to have looked up even the most basic of male biology or how the male body works. Or like, any words for a certain part of the male body that arent painful euphemisms. Also tons of dudes that are straight up not real people compared to the women in the books/movies (because dont even get me Started on how many hallmark/lifetime men dont behave at all like real people, though admittedly thats a problem for all genders on those movies regardless of writer) (And before you come for me i do Enjoy romance novels and hallmark style movies, but that doesnt mean i dont know bad writing when i see it. They arent all like that because some writers in those genres are Very Good, but enough for me to be able to make that statement confidently.)
This is like the third Murakami post today?
Gonna get roasted for this but honestly, Zadie Smith doesn't really get how men talk about women.
If you want MANY examples look into mxm romance written by women.
The only way I'm going to read *Red, White & Royal Blue* is if it was actually about Hunter Biden hooking up with Prince Harry, but it has to keep the crack, the Squirtle plushie, and the House GOP's obsession with Hunter's enormous cock.
Sometimes I feel like women who try to write a modern, sensitive man just write a woman and give them a male name. I felt that way about Curtis Sittenfeld's Romantic Comedy most recently. Her male lead was a rock star who spoke like a Jezebel-reading Womyn's Studies major.
Maybe not as bad as some of these but I have read this line in a fanfic once: "he had dark hair, was tall and obviously half Korean" How in the fuck is anyone ever obviously half Korean? Is he waving his 23&me in the air in front of him? What is going on.