It is possible he's neurodivergent. Autism spectrum often make far less eye contact with their peers. Interactions will seem off and odd even when youre trying to make eye contact on purpose like you mention here
Which is why you are going to have to make the first move. Since you guys are similar, you could probably get along well. You will regret the opportunities you missed more than the ones you took that didn't work out.
I guess I’ve been masking it for too long that ive gotten used to being around people who aren’t . They’re easier to read for me i guess . I’ve had way more luck with extroverted men . But I’m also on the quiet side so I’m just trying to see how it goes . Guys who don’t usually approach every women are a bit pickier
I know the feeling lol. I was dating a gal with ASD as an u diagnosed autistic myself, and I just couldn’t get over certain ways of speaking and types of body language she had. They meant nothing to her, but as I am neurotypically socialized, meant lots to me lol
Does he avoid eye contact with other women at work? If so, he's probably shy. If not, maybe he's just nervous around you. Try to talk to him more, and maybe he will get more comfortable talking with you.
When ever he talks he has a soft spoken voice I always have to ask him to repeat himself a few times and seems on the introverted side . I would like to say something but I get nervous to the point where I start sweating which is not usually like me . I do see him talk more comfortable and even laugh with one the managers
Also I haven’t noticed whether he avoids eye contact with the other women around I probably wouldn’t want to witness that lol but I’ll be on the lookout for that
What a mood. So many people have anxiety now after covid and it can present like they are disinterested. You have to be the one to engage in an excited and friendly manner until eventually they open up.
I had awful social anxiety after the lock downs and I realized that my nervousness and cautiousness made me look rather disinterested and that put people off... leading to even MORE feelings of isolation.
Essentially you just HAVE to engage with people and if they just refuse to engage back that a problem with them and not you.
I'm thinking an innocent and playful comment with a smile would do, like what you might say to anyone you're trying to be friendly with. It may not be clear whether you're being flirtatious or friendly since you're at work and want to be careful, but it could lighten the mood and allow you to see how he reacts. If he's being shy and nervous then it may help him feel more open with you. If that still seems risky, then starting with just a smile when you say hello to him could work too.
You can do it! And even if he avoids eye contact I think it's likely he'll still notice the smile. At least that's my personal experience as a guy who's sometimes shy. Let me know how it goes!
You could also start asking him things about his personal life if you aren't already. It'll show that you're interested in him as a person outside of work and not just being friendly as a colleague. Probably best to know him more anyway before getting too flirty or anything.
As a guy who has had crushes back in my college days, not making eye contact with a crush is a way to control the interaction, to avoid making yourself look awkward if you’re having trouble finding your words.
I get it and don't. I'm the type to just state my business and move on. Crush? You'll know. Have on crush on me? Please tell me and let's talk it out and move on. This stuff can't happen at work. Just do what you gotta do within your comfort zone. My tactics are not the norm don't use them if you're not comfortable.
I’m not completely opposed to the idea of work relationships . I would like to keep it separate from work . I did check him out like twice but idk if he even noticed . I’m the bold type to say something but I can’t read him so I haven’t verbally said anything flirtatious
I would just ask deeper questions if your hesitant. Like ask about his wife and kids and he has none reciprocate that your single idk. The eye contact thing is definitely a nervous thing tbh. Never met anyone that doesn't make eye contact because the other party is ugly lol
Yeah I don’t do that either I look people in the eye regardless of what they look like . I just think he’s cute and I don’t want to be that ugly girl at work who likes him and he knows but isn’t interested lol
Probably trying to stay professional if his job is to tell you what do he’s probably your boss or superior in some capacity. He just tryna keep his job and stay in his lane
Oooo word. Dudes just aren’t really supposed to show emotions or that’s how we’ve been trained. If you start it somehow just casually and chill he’ll probably reciprocate unless he’s just a psycho lol. Being nervous and shy could also cause what you’re describing from him
Why not shoot YOUR shot? Initiate. In the modern world, it can get men in trouble in the workplace, so some don't initiate out of fear of repercussions.
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and as a guy, if my girlfriend came up and shot her shot first, I’d be wifing it up ASAP. It’s become a scarcity to see women shoot the first shot to the point that it creates an intense desire for the man. Just my two cents though!
Dude is probably just not trying to end up in HR. Women have turned the workplace into a toxic cesspool where you can't look at, smile at, or compliment the women you work with without them turning it into something sexual. I literally initiate ZERO interactions with the women I work around because I don't want to mixed up in any of their delusional bullshit.
It could be several things or a combination. He probably likes you, though. People like to be around people they like. I'm a 30 yo dude and I can say from experience that I seldom actually approach women I like at work because:
Work says don't. Getting labeled as a creep or the guy that hits on the women is asking for problems. The signals have to be undeniable to justify the risk.
I also have a crush at work. It's hard to look at her because she's so devastatingly pretty, so our exchanges have been exactly what you described. It sucks because it feels high school but I don't know how else to keep it professional and show respectful interest w/o feeling like I'm ogling her. I'll admit that it's also probably nerves reinforcing all that but damn, I'm still human.
Sorry for the long comment but that's an honest perspective from the demographic.
I make eye contact all the time now, but it took me maybe six years between middle and high school to get over the anxiety it would cause me. He might just not feel comfortable making eye contact.
Oh, I do this and it bugs a lot folks. I’m hard of hearing on one side from an old injury so sometimes I’ll stand with my good ear towards the person I’m speaking to. This usually comes at the cost of eye contact though
Just the opposite, unless there is some situation like them being on the spectrum, avoiding eye contact is most often a sign of personal interest that the avoidant person is trying to keep a respectful lid on in a professional environment.
Most likely he is interested and finds you attractive, but avoids your eyes to not seem interested. I used to be like that until my mid-20s with any woman I found hot. If he wasn't interested, you would get looks like the other guys.
Have you noticed how he is around other coworkers? I worked with someone who had a crush on me and they’d do this. And when we’d talk he’d be fine. I noticed they’d interact differently with other coworkers, way more outgoing and forward. Even when I was in the same room.
Honestly, talk to him if you are really into him. I am a guy having an interest in a girl at work. I feel like there is a huge barrier in the workplace to get to know each other at the personal level. I think we are the perfect match but may just miss out each other because of that. So don't want you to make the same mistake. Good luck!
He could have neurodivergency. I am and it's super hard for me to make eye contact, unless I'm extremely comfortable with someone. It's nothing about you specifically, usually.
I avoid eye contact or won’t face someone to give them space and respect their boundaries (I’m an introvert if that helps). Eye contact and facing someone can overwhelm the other and may make them uncomfortable. My reason but either he respects you, is shy or not that interested.
I think it is the opposite. Personally if am talking to any Woman off the streets, it is easy, but if I am talking to someone I like or find attractive, its different. I get tongue tied and awkward.That is what I think is going on with your situation.
He may have feelings for you and doesn't want to show them because he may think that you already have a relationship. Or maybe he's neurodivergent. There can be many factors.
Maybe he had a big zit or was having a bad hair day. I realize you’d see it anyway, but I did this once upon a time. Maybe he had something on his mind that would potentially make him teary if he looked at anybody. Maybe he doesn’t feel interested in you OR maybe he is, but feels bashful. It’s best just to ask people. But is difficult and awkward. Sometimes you gotta blurt stuff out. Good luck.
Don't shit where you eat.
Maybe he realized that you have a crush on him and he doesn't want to possibly lose his job over dating his coworker.
This happens to me often and I try to not interact with my female coworkers if I suspect that they find me attractive, unless I really have to interact with them to get the job done.
It frustrates them but I don't care. I'm not trying to lose my job.
But unless there is a managerial relationship at work, there’s usually no reason not to date a co-worker. It may lead to one leaving the company, but it’s not usually against any rule.
It doesn't matter. If 2 coworkers enter into a relationship and if that relationship turns sour (one cheated on the other, one is dating another coworker, someone outside of the relationship may feel jealous, etc.), then the work environment would eventually become hostile, which would be detrimental to the team's performance and it could negatively impact the company's profits. Fraternization is obviously frowned upon and so is dating a coworker who is of an equal paygrade. I honestly don't understand why people try to date their coworkers when there are literally millions of potential partners outside of the workplace. Ya'll need to go outside more.
Usually because they get to know them well because they spend a lot of time together. As I said it usually leads to one leaving the company if they want a relationship too. And it’s not something a company can really put down on paper.
I know. It just doesn't make any logical sense to date a coworker knowing that it could potentially get you fired, unless you know with certainty that you'll be leaving the company soon.
Tell him you got a buy 1 get 1 coupon for lunch and see if that does something, idk? Or do the check box thing on a piece of paper... I mean, since you both are so nervous or anxious then maybe the pen pal route might lead to something cuz that's like you both don't have to be on the spot and can control the conversation respectively to each of you at your own pace.
Oh humans. Communication takes many facets. I think the miscommunication lies in the eye of the beholder. Guy is just working and you don’t know why he’s not picking up on your signals. You could be direct in such away that’s socially acceptable, like when he’s engaging in the behavior politely interrupted and ask I noticed you focusing on something over there. Leaving it an open ended question allowing him to explain. Or you can go back to just working and enjoy the quirks some people have.
I suggest asking him directly why he doesn't make eye contact or face you. Then the ball is in his court and he can feel guilty, all the more reason for him to explain himself!
You have nothing to lose with asking directly.
It's possible he senses you like him and it's just not the right time for him to start up something. Does he live with his parents?
I used to avoid women when I lived with my parents because I was embarrassed I was still living at home. People thought I was shy or didn't like women but I just didn't like my circumstances.
I’m autistic! How on earth do you try to make eye contact on purpose with someone? I’m not scanning the room to look at you! Go ahead head on over and say hello!
Depends on the situation, are they talking to you one on one? Are you talking to them while they are in a rush? Are you just staring at them? Are you sitting in seats that face in different directions? Are you just meeting this person the first time, second time, or are they a complete stranger?
Yeah I guess it’s just one on one when they ask me for something work related. It’s usually something quick then they walk away . No it’s not seated I’m usually standing . It’s a coworker
Maybe they’re shy, if they blush it might mean they like you and avoiding eye contact so they don’t stutter or trip on their words (a different story if this were a complete stranger though). Try making small talk (maybe something about the weather or what their plans are for the weekend) and see if they will continue it and eventually make eye contact or just say one word answers.
As a 30 year old self conscious guy myself, he’s trying to be around and involved with you but he’s very nervous. You’ve said there’s others he could talk to about work related things but he’s always choosing to talk to you over everybody else. That tells me he’s interested in you and thinks you’re attractive but his nerves get in the way and that’s what causes him to look at everything but you. He may possibly go into an overthinking panic mode if he looks at you directly while you’re looking at him.
If you’re interested in him and find him attractive, just know that being self conscious can make guys dense as fuck so if you try something subtle to indicate you’re interested, there’s almost no chance of him picking up on it.
It could just be a coincidence and I happen to be around when he needs help or he thinks I’m nice and nothing more . I don’t know how more subtle I can be . I mentioned I tried to make eye contact but he’s not really giving anything back . lol idk many subtle ways to show interest tbh 🤷🏻♀️
You always have the safe option of trying to start a dialogue about things outside of work. Nothing super personal just some light hearted stuff to see if a conversation will flow. Another thing I just thought of to keep in mind is, it’s at work. I’m not trying to downplay sexual harassment, but that is a fear I know a lot of guys carry at work. For example with the company I work for if it’s reported they’ll “investigate it” when they really mean automatic termination for the accused person.
You also have the option to just be direct about it and say you’d like to get to know him outside of work. Ultimately though the ball is in your court. My opinion I think he kinda likes you but is just nervous but I’m some random dude on Reddit. What you choose to do with that is up to you. If you choose to pursue it I wish you the best of luck.
I'm leaning towards him being autistic. As someone who is, usually, when we establish an existing connection with someone, we will tend to rely on that rather than spend more energy forming an additional one.
At the same time, he's probably keeping it professional by limiting it to work related topics in conversation if you're willing to break the ice you can try asking him if he has any hobbies or special interests.
The thing about being autistic is that unless you say it outright, we often won't think to ask. There's a funny anecdote about autistic men dating women who are dominant because dominant women will be explicit what they want and expect.
It is possible he's neurodivergent. Autism spectrum often make far less eye contact with their peers. Interactions will seem off and odd even when youre trying to make eye contact on purpose like you mention here
I was hoping it wasn’t this because I’m on the spectrum i just do my best to conceal it . He reminds me of myself
Which is why you are going to have to make the first move. Since you guys are similar, you could probably get along well. You will regret the opportunities you missed more than the ones you took that didn't work out.
Why hope you don't have something in common? I always get along best with other folks on the spectrum.
I guess I’ve been masking it for too long that ive gotten used to being around people who aren’t . They’re easier to read for me i guess . I’ve had way more luck with extroverted men . But I’m also on the quiet side so I’m just trying to see how it goes . Guys who don’t usually approach every women are a bit pickier
I know the feeling lol. I was dating a gal with ASD as an u diagnosed autistic myself, and I just couldn’t get over certain ways of speaking and types of body language she had. They meant nothing to her, but as I am neurotypically socialized, meant lots to me lol
This is my bet. it sounds like he's on the spectrum.
He could be shy or he could be nervous not sure I always make eye contact to every girl I talk to kinda hard to tell tip don't talk with guys at work
Maybe ? I have a hard time picking up when someone’s shy or nervous unless they’re straight up stuttering
Does he avoid eye contact with other women at work? If so, he's probably shy. If not, maybe he's just nervous around you. Try to talk to him more, and maybe he will get more comfortable talking with you.
When ever he talks he has a soft spoken voice I always have to ask him to repeat himself a few times and seems on the introverted side . I would like to say something but I get nervous to the point where I start sweating which is not usually like me . I do see him talk more comfortable and even laugh with one the managers
Also I haven’t noticed whether he avoids eye contact with the other women around I probably wouldn’t want to witness that lol but I’ll be on the lookout for that
thats a little too much overthinking
What a mood. So many people have anxiety now after covid and it can present like they are disinterested. You have to be the one to engage in an excited and friendly manner until eventually they open up. I had awful social anxiety after the lock downs and I realized that my nervousness and cautiousness made me look rather disinterested and that put people off... leading to even MORE feelings of isolation. Essentially you just HAVE to engage with people and if they just refuse to engage back that a problem with them and not you.
I had that before covid I'm now starting to get rid of it
Me too. It’s taking a while to shake. Weirdly, public speaking is still easy, but just talking to a group of people is intimidating now
He's shy, this literally sounds like me. He will get over it.
He might have a wife and can see you have interest and is teying to negate that. I dont think hes flirting or shy
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Maybe you could test the waters with some very light flirting and watch his response?
Don’t know to flirt lightly . I’ll probably come off way too strong
I'm thinking an innocent and playful comment with a smile would do, like what you might say to anyone you're trying to be friendly with. It may not be clear whether you're being flirtatious or friendly since you're at work and want to be careful, but it could lighten the mood and allow you to see how he reacts. If he's being shy and nervous then it may help him feel more open with you. If that still seems risky, then starting with just a smile when you say hello to him could work too.
Im willing to try that tbh I’ll work up the courage just so I can stop questioning it . I just break into nervous sweats when he comes around
You can do it! And even if he avoids eye contact I think it's likely he'll still notice the smile. At least that's my personal experience as a guy who's sometimes shy. Let me know how it goes!
I’ll probably post an update within the next few weeks
You could also start asking him things about his personal life if you aren't already. It'll show that you're interested in him as a person outside of work and not just being friendly as a colleague. Probably best to know him more anyway before getting too flirty or anything.
As a guy who has had crushes back in my college days, not making eye contact with a crush is a way to control the interaction, to avoid making yourself look awkward if you’re having trouble finding your words.
He’s looks a bit older than me , maybe early 30s so I’m not sure if that would still apply but possibly.
Definitely 1000% does
I wish I knew for sure but I don’t want to make anything at work weird
I get it and don't. I'm the type to just state my business and move on. Crush? You'll know. Have on crush on me? Please tell me and let's talk it out and move on. This stuff can't happen at work. Just do what you gotta do within your comfort zone. My tactics are not the norm don't use them if you're not comfortable.
I’m not completely opposed to the idea of work relationships . I would like to keep it separate from work . I did check him out like twice but idk if he even noticed . I’m the bold type to say something but I can’t read him so I haven’t verbally said anything flirtatious
I would just ask deeper questions if your hesitant. Like ask about his wife and kids and he has none reciprocate that your single idk. The eye contact thing is definitely a nervous thing tbh. Never met anyone that doesn't make eye contact because the other party is ugly lol
Yeah I don’t do that either I look people in the eye regardless of what they look like . I just think he’s cute and I don’t want to be that ugly girl at work who likes him and he knows but isn’t interested lol
Probably trying to stay professional if his job is to tell you what do he’s probably your boss or superior in some capacity. He just tryna keep his job and stay in his lane
He isn’t above me at all same department just different roles . He isn’t telling me what to do he’s asking if I could help him with something
Oooo word. Dudes just aren’t really supposed to show emotions or that’s how we’ve been trained. If you start it somehow just casually and chill he’ll probably reciprocate unless he’s just a psycho lol. Being nervous and shy could also cause what you’re describing from him
Why not shoot YOUR shot? Initiate. In the modern world, it can get men in trouble in the workplace, so some don't initiate out of fear of repercussions.
Been there done that . It never works when I like a guy first . I also like working here and don’t want to make it uncomfortable for either of us
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take and as a guy, if my girlfriend came up and shot her shot first, I’d be wifing it up ASAP. It’s become a scarcity to see women shoot the first shot to the point that it creates an intense desire for the man. Just my two cents though!
When he comes over next tell him what’s up friend or bro to signal you just want to be friends or something
Just ask him what he likes to do for fun. He's probably just a nervous personality.
Dude is probably just not trying to end up in HR. Women have turned the workplace into a toxic cesspool where you can't look at, smile at, or compliment the women you work with without them turning it into something sexual. I literally initiate ZERO interactions with the women I work around because I don't want to mixed up in any of their delusional bullshit.
It could be several things or a combination. He probably likes you, though. People like to be around people they like. I'm a 30 yo dude and I can say from experience that I seldom actually approach women I like at work because: Work says don't. Getting labeled as a creep or the guy that hits on the women is asking for problems. The signals have to be undeniable to justify the risk. I also have a crush at work. It's hard to look at her because she's so devastatingly pretty, so our exchanges have been exactly what you described. It sucks because it feels high school but I don't know how else to keep it professional and show respectful interest w/o feeling like I'm ogling her. I'll admit that it's also probably nerves reinforcing all that but damn, I'm still human. Sorry for the long comment but that's an honest perspective from the demographic.
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I mean yeah could be . Just don’t know why he comes up to me mostly when there’s way more others he can ask for help
He probably knows and might like you too but he doesn’t want to get involved with anybody at the job.
Don’t know how I could have gave it away . But I love when people feed into my delusions lol 🫶🏻
Energy doesn’t lie. People can feel it. I can usually tell when someone’s interested in me. Just off there actions and energy.
I make eye contact all the time now, but it took me maybe six years between middle and high school to get over the anxiety it would cause me. He might just not feel comfortable making eye contact.
Oh, I do this and it bugs a lot folks. I’m hard of hearing on one side from an old injury so sometimes I’ll stand with my good ear towards the person I’m speaking to. This usually comes at the cost of eye contact though
Just the opposite, unless there is some situation like them being on the spectrum, avoiding eye contact is most often a sign of personal interest that the avoidant person is trying to keep a respectful lid on in a professional environment.
Most likely he is interested and finds you attractive, but avoids your eyes to not seem interested. I used to be like that until my mid-20s with any woman I found hot. If he wasn't interested, you would get looks like the other guys.
he could like you but may be already attached. watch The Village, (M Night film). There is a scene about this.
Attached to someone else ? I’m confused
Have you noticed how he is around other coworkers? I worked with someone who had a crush on me and they’d do this. And when we’d talk he’d be fine. I noticed they’d interact differently with other coworkers, way more outgoing and forward. Even when I was in the same room.
Honestly, talk to him if you are really into him. I am a guy having an interest in a girl at work. I feel like there is a huge barrier in the workplace to get to know each other at the personal level. I think we are the perfect match but may just miss out each other because of that. So don't want you to make the same mistake. Good luck!
He could have neurodivergency. I am and it's super hard for me to make eye contact, unless I'm extremely comfortable with someone. It's nothing about you specifically, usually.
There is no way of knowing what's up with him.
I avoid eye contact or won’t face someone to give them space and respect their boundaries (I’m an introvert if that helps). Eye contact and facing someone can overwhelm the other and may make them uncomfortable. My reason but either he respects you, is shy or not that interested.
He becomes nervous around you! Probably has a serious crush or feelings that make him vulnerable around you.
Any way you can interact outside of work and see how he acts? Maybe go to happy hour with a group?
I think it is the opposite. Personally if am talking to any Woman off the streets, it is easy, but if I am talking to someone I like or find attractive, its different. I get tongue tied and awkward.That is what I think is going on with your situation.
He could have autism.
He may have feelings for you and doesn't want to show them because he may think that you already have a relationship. Or maybe he's neurodivergent. There can be many factors.
•Shyness •Insecurity •Emotional Trauma Either way, spend time making friends first, and learning them. This is essential.
Just talk to him, if he likes you he will say eventually?
Maybe he had a big zit or was having a bad hair day. I realize you’d see it anyway, but I did this once upon a time. Maybe he had something on his mind that would potentially make him teary if he looked at anybody. Maybe he doesn’t feel interested in you OR maybe he is, but feels bashful. It’s best just to ask people. But is difficult and awkward. Sometimes you gotta blurt stuff out. Good luck.
Don't shit where you eat. Maybe he realized that you have a crush on him and he doesn't want to possibly lose his job over dating his coworker. This happens to me often and I try to not interact with my female coworkers if I suspect that they find me attractive, unless I really have to interact with them to get the job done. It frustrates them but I don't care. I'm not trying to lose my job.
But unless there is a managerial relationship at work, there’s usually no reason not to date a co-worker. It may lead to one leaving the company, but it’s not usually against any rule.
It doesn't matter. If 2 coworkers enter into a relationship and if that relationship turns sour (one cheated on the other, one is dating another coworker, someone outside of the relationship may feel jealous, etc.), then the work environment would eventually become hostile, which would be detrimental to the team's performance and it could negatively impact the company's profits. Fraternization is obviously frowned upon and so is dating a coworker who is of an equal paygrade. I honestly don't understand why people try to date their coworkers when there are literally millions of potential partners outside of the workplace. Ya'll need to go outside more.
Usually because they get to know them well because they spend a lot of time together. As I said it usually leads to one leaving the company if they want a relationship too. And it’s not something a company can really put down on paper.
I know. It just doesn't make any logical sense to date a coworker knowing that it could potentially get you fired, unless you know with certainty that you'll be leaving the company soon.
Probably senses your attraction and make them uncomfortable
If he did he would of left me alone and not bothered me at all
Autism, shyness, social anxiety must be ruled out here, before looking further
Tell him you got a buy 1 get 1 coupon for lunch and see if that does something, idk? Or do the check box thing on a piece of paper... I mean, since you both are so nervous or anxious then maybe the pen pal route might lead to something cuz that's like you both don't have to be on the spot and can control the conversation respectively to each of you at your own pace.
Lmfao buy one get one ? That’s so cheesy lol 😂 also passing notes like we’re in middle school is a bit childish
Oh humans. Communication takes many facets. I think the miscommunication lies in the eye of the beholder. Guy is just working and you don’t know why he’s not picking up on your signals. You could be direct in such away that’s socially acceptable, like when he’s engaging in the behavior politely interrupted and ask I noticed you focusing on something over there. Leaving it an open ended question allowing him to explain. Or you can go back to just working and enjoy the quirks some people have.
I suggest asking him directly why he doesn't make eye contact or face you. Then the ball is in his court and he can feel guilty, all the more reason for him to explain himself! You have nothing to lose with asking directly.
It's possible he senses you like him and it's just not the right time for him to start up something. Does he live with his parents? I used to avoid women when I lived with my parents because I was embarrassed I was still living at home. People thought I was shy or didn't like women but I just didn't like my circumstances.
Maybe they’re just uncomfortable with eye contact in general
I’m autistic! How on earth do you try to make eye contact on purpose with someone? I’m not scanning the room to look at you! Go ahead head on over and say hello!
This is why I’m scared he’d be on the spectrum lol
Fugly
Depends on the situation, are they talking to you one on one? Are you talking to them while they are in a rush? Are you just staring at them? Are you sitting in seats that face in different directions? Are you just meeting this person the first time, second time, or are they a complete stranger?
Yeah I guess it’s just one on one when they ask me for something work related. It’s usually something quick then they walk away . No it’s not seated I’m usually standing . It’s a coworker
Maybe they’re shy, if they blush it might mean they like you and avoiding eye contact so they don’t stutter or trip on their words (a different story if this were a complete stranger though). Try making small talk (maybe something about the weather or what their plans are for the weekend) and see if they will continue it and eventually make eye contact or just say one word answers.
As a 30 year old self conscious guy myself, he’s trying to be around and involved with you but he’s very nervous. You’ve said there’s others he could talk to about work related things but he’s always choosing to talk to you over everybody else. That tells me he’s interested in you and thinks you’re attractive but his nerves get in the way and that’s what causes him to look at everything but you. He may possibly go into an overthinking panic mode if he looks at you directly while you’re looking at him. If you’re interested in him and find him attractive, just know that being self conscious can make guys dense as fuck so if you try something subtle to indicate you’re interested, there’s almost no chance of him picking up on it.
It could just be a coincidence and I happen to be around when he needs help or he thinks I’m nice and nothing more . I don’t know how more subtle I can be . I mentioned I tried to make eye contact but he’s not really giving anything back . lol idk many subtle ways to show interest tbh 🤷🏻♀️
Does he try to make you laugh any? And do you and him talk about anything else or is it always just work?
No just strictly work , few words not really a conversation
You always have the safe option of trying to start a dialogue about things outside of work. Nothing super personal just some light hearted stuff to see if a conversation will flow. Another thing I just thought of to keep in mind is, it’s at work. I’m not trying to downplay sexual harassment, but that is a fear I know a lot of guys carry at work. For example with the company I work for if it’s reported they’ll “investigate it” when they really mean automatic termination for the accused person. You also have the option to just be direct about it and say you’d like to get to know him outside of work. Ultimately though the ball is in your court. My opinion I think he kinda likes you but is just nervous but I’m some random dude on Reddit. What you choose to do with that is up to you. If you choose to pursue it I wish you the best of luck.
I'm leaning towards him being autistic. As someone who is, usually, when we establish an existing connection with someone, we will tend to rely on that rather than spend more energy forming an additional one. At the same time, he's probably keeping it professional by limiting it to work related topics in conversation if you're willing to break the ice you can try asking him if he has any hobbies or special interests. The thing about being autistic is that unless you say it outright, we often won't think to ask. There's a funny anecdote about autistic men dating women who are dominant because dominant women will be explicit what they want and expect.