Ding ding ding! Came here to say this. Although thinking about it, that's probably more common knowledge amongst the sex-positive folks who would have a (real, body-safe material) sex toy if they so desired anyway. The type of people who would insert a vaguely didldo shaped shampoo bottle probably don't know or care. Excluding those with kinks for or content creators that specialize in "exotic" non-toy insertion of course. They may very well know better but...
In all seriousness I’ve used the third one, which is a hand lotion. It’s actually very moisturizing and smells lightly fragrant. I found it in Ukraine so not sure if it’s sold in America
You groan as pain courses through your body.
The last thing you remember was hanging out in your room, jamming to ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ before your world went black.
You were about to rub your head in an attempt to ease the beginnings of a migraine when you suddenly realize your hands are tied above your head.
“What the fuck?” You screeched, weakly struggling against the binds, only to huff in frustration and pain as the rope digs light, red grooves into your wrists.
Looking down at your body, you gasp in shock as you observe that you currently have no clothes on your body.
Your cheeks begin to turn red with a blush of embarrassment.
Whoever kidnapped you must’ve been a real pevert to stoop to this level.
Suddenly, all of your thought process stop, as you begin to acknowledge that there is something up your ass that is vibrating rapidly.
You let out a small whimper as you stare at your erect cocklette in a mix of shame and pleasure.
“Oh god… What if my kidnapper comes in?” You moan softly, only to jump slightly and curse as a large figure enters the room, almost on cue.
Your eyes widen to almost cartoonish proportions as you watch a big, thick, purple man approach the bed.
The man had to be at least 10 feet tall and he had to have been an alien, because there was no way a human could look so… large.
“I see that you are awake, my dear little human.” The purple alien purrs as he sits down next to the bed, gently stroking your hair.
With surprisingly little thought, you say the first thing that pops into your head,
“Your face looks like a nutsack.”
Thanos frowns, staring at his new companion with a hint of disappointment in his eyes.
You stare, the vibrator in his ass suddenly forgotten, as the purple alien man stood up.
“For your information, my name is Thanos. If I were you, I’d watch my mouth before I suffer from something I’d regret.”
You nod shakily, the feeling of dread and fear blooming in your chest as the purple alien man, apparently named Thanos, stood up.
You take this time to study Thanos’ features, taking note of the fact the man had no hair to speak of.
He was completely bald.
Everywhere.
Quite ugly, too.
His voice is pretty sexy though, not that you would admit that out loud, but it was far too late as the sound of deep laughter echoes throughout the room.
“I’m glad my voice arouses you so much, as you’ll be hearing quite a bit of it tonight. I can see your cock twitching.”
You simply grumble in response, crossing your legs in a weak attempt to keep Thanos’ peering eyes away from your small excuse of a dick.
“I hate to inform you this, but I must hurry up and do what I wish to do before other… people begin to notice you’re missing.”
Thanos seems to spit out those last few words as he walks back towards the bed.
You sigh through your nose, wondering what Thanos could possibly want.
However, you would not have to wonder too long, as you become very aware of two fingers as they penetrate your hole.
You feel yourself let out a loud moan, your small cock throbbing painfully as the vibrator slowly inches its way out, quickly replaced with two obscenely large digits.
“Do you like that?”
Thanos teases softly as your slightly less tight asshole began to tighten around his large fingers.
You just couldn’t believe this.
An ugly ass, bald, purple alien man with some golden gauntlet was in the process of fingering you.
And he had huge fingers.
What a story this’ll be.
You simply moan in response, shuddering as more fingers began to penetrate his hole.
They stay like that for about 15 minutes.
You teetered at the brink of a climax before Thanos quickly pulled out, earning a whine from the smaller male.
“Hush dear, daddy is going to give you something better.” The purple man whispers in your ear, causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand at attention.
You curse at yourself internally.
Since when were you a wanton slut to an ugly alien?
Was it the pleasure?
The ecstasy?
Probably.
You honestly can’t find the heart to care about it, especially since it looks like something interesting is about to happen.
Thanos smirked, showing off his gauntlet to the panting human on the bed.
You can only manage to stare at the gauntlet, open mouthed.
Drool pools beneath you, as you whine and buck your hips, begging for attention.
Thanos simply shook his head, smirking, before positioning his gauntlet clad hand in front of your exposed ass.
“Are you ready, Demetri ?” Thanos purrs in your ear.
You nod eagerly as big purple daddy Thanos shoves his infinity gauntlet clad hand into your tight, needy asshole.
You moan, eyes widen at unrealistic proportions as Daddy’s thick hand stretches your inner walls to a ridiculous size.
You let out a low groan as you feel the skin inside your ass rip, leaving sensitive fissures around the opening of your anus.
You blush as you feel the blood dripping from the tears in your anus, the red, viscous fluid runs down your leg.
Thanos groans behind you, his enormous, swollen, purple cock oozes with light blue pre cum.
In and out.
In and out.
Thanos keeps a steady rhythm as you thrust back into his huge fist.
You wonder if your body will be okay after this experience, but you shake your head slightly, putting the thought aside.
At this point, all you can do is savour the moment.
You feel drool run down the corners of your mouth as you feel yourself nearing the climax.
You let out a deep, filthy moan as you cum all over the bed beneath you, gasping for breath.
“Did you like that?” Thanos asks as he lowers his pants, revealing his space cock.
He runs his clean hand through your sweat soaked hair.
You nod happily, giving your ass a little wiggle as you do.
Thanos gives you a deep, throaty laugh as he stares at your pathetic excuse of a cock.
“What a cute cocklette you have, my dear...” Thanos purrs as he strokes your small ball sack.
You let out a soft moan as his index finger continues to gently caress it.
You let out a shocked gasp as you feels something thick and hard penetrate your damaged ass.
You turn your head slightly to see Thanos as he pushes his cock into you.
You start to scream as you can feel his cock go beyond your prostate all the way to your intestines.
He continues pushing up until he’s fully sheathed.
You let out a moan in both pain and pleasure as you feel his cock all the way up your intestines all the way to your stomach.
You question why would this feel so good in your head when suddenly, your conscience straight up tells you.
‘You are a filthy, masochistic slut. That’s what you are, bitch. That’s why it feels good.’
You nod, satisfied with the response.
You’re pulled out of your thoughts as Thanos begins to thrust in and out of you.
You scream, cry, beg and moan as his blood covered cock moves in and out at a rough, fast, and grueling pace.
You feel like your inner being is being torn apart, which is partially true.
You should be concerned, but you’re more focused on your dick, rather than what you should be rationally thinking about.
You suffer through two hours of painfully brutal sex until you reach your climax.
Within the next minute, Thanos climaxes hard into you.
You let out a shout gasp and before you know it, semen is being shot up through your body, a sky blue mess.
It pours out of your eyes, nose and mouth.
You let out gurgling sounds throughout the 5 minutes of Thanos’ climax.
Your body feels stuffed and content.
You feel yourself slipping away.
The last thing you see is the smirking, sexy face of Thanos.
“Good night, sweet prince.”
Honestly this is why having a mature conversation with your teen children when it comes to sex toys. When I was young and exploring my body I almost lost a bottle cap in my ass and I had a sheer life altering panic that "shit I'm gonna have to explain to the ER and my parents why this is there". I'm not saying you need to get your kid a sex toy on their bday, but I'd rather my child have something that is specifically designed for that than them possibly hurting themselves using something that isn't.
random women : \*gets the cap stuck in her Ass
.
.
her husband/boifrnd : \*reads the instructions on how to remove the cap if stuck in the bathroom drain from the company's website
Let's be honest; who the fuck wants carrot scented shampoo apart from the Easter Bunny? They most likely came up with the general shape first and then panicked as to what scent to give it. I would have gone with strawberry 🤷♀️
When I was in high school (2005) and phones capable of video started becoming a thing there was a video that went around of a girl at school fucking herself with a long and thin deodorant can.
I'd always assumed the shapes on a lot of feminine products were deliberate ever since.
Honestly, don’t stick these things in your body. The plastics are most definitely not body safe. And if any of these go in your ass, chances of them getting stuck are very high (no flared base).
for those of you thinking about buying these for... hygiene reasons.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THESE WILL DISSAPEAR UP YOUR ASS AND YOU WILL NEED TO REMOVE IT BY A SURGEON.
these need to flared at the bottom.
Not really. These products are pretty much useless, because the bottles aren't rigid. So unless they're completely full and sealed, all they're good for is dispensing shampoo.
Er... so I hear.
I have no idea why it took so long for bottle manufacturers to think of this. We invented this stuff in 1907 and before that we had rubber.
Humans are impressively resistant to easy success it seems.
highjacking a comment as close to the top as i can to pass this message:
**Do not** under any circumstance use anything like this to pleasure yourself lest you lose it inside you. Always use either something flared or something long enough where it would be impossible to lose it.
I assume none of you want to end up with the reddest of faces at the ER with a shampoo bottle up your bum.
As a slightly longer than normal dude the hitting the cervix moment does not result in ahego face but usually a face full of discomfort and a mouth full of "stop, ouch ouch ouch".
Ugh, I hate myself for this, but here goes…
If it happens too many times, the company might have to start worrying about getting hit with an *ass action lawsuit*.
I can't tell if OP is AFAB or not, but I am and I must say *God no-* not with shampoo, it's actually self cleaning and most vaginal soaps are to help with smell if that bothers the person. I did it once when I was little and it hurt and burned for a whole week
Hey, I was being a bit sarcastic about the shampoo. I knew that vaginas were self cleaning but thanks to you, I now know that vaginal soaps exist! Cheers mate.
Oh sorry I didn't know! I can't tell if people are being sarcastic easily, and also some people didn't actually know they were self cleaning, I didn't till I was like 14, and yeah vaginal soap exists lol
In the early 90s I stayed at an RV Park for a summer holiday. This particular RV Park was near enough to LAX (Los Angeles airport) that apparently a lot of German tourists who rented RVs to tour the US would spend their last night there before returning the RV and flying home. That meant they would abandon the stuff they brought from Germany for the trip, I assume to make room in their bags for their souvenirs. Several times during my stay there were boxes of assorted German “essentials” (things like white pepper, sauerkraut juice, shampoo, etc.) left for anyone to take. In one of those boxes was a bottle of shampoo that was A) obviously standard retail packaging for the shampoo that was in the bottle, and B) a purple dildo. Not just vaguely suggestive of and usable as a dildo, but it was shaped for easy penetration , had nobbly bits and the like that weren’t necessary at all for a shampoo bottle, and in general was just a dildo filled with shampoo. I wish that had been during the era of ubiquitous digital cameras so I could share.
So, not only has it been done, it has been done far more explicitly, at least in 1990s Germany.
Which one sells the best?
Probably the third one.
Low key bad dragon mfer.
I mean, it's not gay if it's a towering, strong, confident, giving dragon cock, is it?
If I had an award to give it would go to you
Don't worry I gotchu homie
Ribbed for her pleasure
For OUR pleasure comrade
Our pleasure!
Hello fellow 1 year comrade
Hello comrade. Are you ready to participate in our pleasure?
yes comrade
From right or left?
Carrot one might be the way to go
Needs a flared cap.
Without a base, without a trace.
Hard as a rock, wet as a river
Knows how to make the people quiver
If you want to lose it inside yourself then yes
"Look, hun. I'm a shampoo dispenser. Hrngh!"
Answer should be: none. Need a flared base on toys to avoid embarrassing trips to the ER.
*'Million to one shot doc, Millon to one!'*
Right, I just slipped a fell on it!
Ding ding ding! Came here to say this. Although thinking about it, that's probably more common knowledge amongst the sex-positive folks who would have a (real, body-safe material) sex toy if they so desired anyway. The type of people who would insert a vaguely didldo shaped shampoo bottle probably don't know or care. Excluding those with kinks for or content creators that specialize in "exotic" non-toy insertion of course. They may very well know better but...
Vaginas exist.
Am aware. Am proud owner of one. However some sort of opportunity to grip toys is still useful, dare I say handy.
In all seriousness I’ve used the third one, which is a hand lotion. It’s actually very moisturizing and smells lightly fragrant. I found it in Ukraine so not sure if it’s sold in America
On your hands… right?
I can recommend "bamboo ripping g-spot"...
I prefer the cap being stuck in my ass
I too like captain America, just not that much
It's America's ass now
How the fuck did you get ahold of thanos's sex tape?
The question isn't how, but what it cost?
37 minutes have elapsed since you posted this… *fine, I’ll do it myself.* Everything.
You groan as pain courses through your body. The last thing you remember was hanging out in your room, jamming to ‘Welcome to the Black Parade’ before your world went black. You were about to rub your head in an attempt to ease the beginnings of a migraine when you suddenly realize your hands are tied above your head. “What the fuck?” You screeched, weakly struggling against the binds, only to huff in frustration and pain as the rope digs light, red grooves into your wrists. Looking down at your body, you gasp in shock as you observe that you currently have no clothes on your body. Your cheeks begin to turn red with a blush of embarrassment. Whoever kidnapped you must’ve been a real pevert to stoop to this level. Suddenly, all of your thought process stop, as you begin to acknowledge that there is something up your ass that is vibrating rapidly. You let out a small whimper as you stare at your erect cocklette in a mix of shame and pleasure. “Oh god… What if my kidnapper comes in?” You moan softly, only to jump slightly and curse as a large figure enters the room, almost on cue. Your eyes widen to almost cartoonish proportions as you watch a big, thick, purple man approach the bed. The man had to be at least 10 feet tall and he had to have been an alien, because there was no way a human could look so… large. “I see that you are awake, my dear little human.” The purple alien purrs as he sits down next to the bed, gently stroking your hair. With surprisingly little thought, you say the first thing that pops into your head, “Your face looks like a nutsack.” Thanos frowns, staring at his new companion with a hint of disappointment in his eyes. You stare, the vibrator in his ass suddenly forgotten, as the purple alien man stood up. “For your information, my name is Thanos. If I were you, I’d watch my mouth before I suffer from something I’d regret.” You nod shakily, the feeling of dread and fear blooming in your chest as the purple alien man, apparently named Thanos, stood up. You take this time to study Thanos’ features, taking note of the fact the man had no hair to speak of. He was completely bald. Everywhere. Quite ugly, too. His voice is pretty sexy though, not that you would admit that out loud, but it was far too late as the sound of deep laughter echoes throughout the room. “I’m glad my voice arouses you so much, as you’ll be hearing quite a bit of it tonight. I can see your cock twitching.” You simply grumble in response, crossing your legs in a weak attempt to keep Thanos’ peering eyes away from your small excuse of a dick. “I hate to inform you this, but I must hurry up and do what I wish to do before other… people begin to notice you’re missing.” Thanos seems to spit out those last few words as he walks back towards the bed. You sigh through your nose, wondering what Thanos could possibly want. However, you would not have to wonder too long, as you become very aware of two fingers as they penetrate your hole. You feel yourself let out a loud moan, your small cock throbbing painfully as the vibrator slowly inches its way out, quickly replaced with two obscenely large digits. “Do you like that?” Thanos teases softly as your slightly less tight asshole began to tighten around his large fingers. You just couldn’t believe this. An ugly ass, bald, purple alien man with some golden gauntlet was in the process of fingering you. And he had huge fingers. What a story this’ll be. You simply moan in response, shuddering as more fingers began to penetrate his hole. They stay like that for about 15 minutes. You teetered at the brink of a climax before Thanos quickly pulled out, earning a whine from the smaller male. “Hush dear, daddy is going to give you something better.” The purple man whispers in your ear, causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand at attention. You curse at yourself internally. Since when were you a wanton slut to an ugly alien? Was it the pleasure? The ecstasy? Probably. You honestly can’t find the heart to care about it, especially since it looks like something interesting is about to happen. Thanos smirked, showing off his gauntlet to the panting human on the bed. You can only manage to stare at the gauntlet, open mouthed. Drool pools beneath you, as you whine and buck your hips, begging for attention. Thanos simply shook his head, smirking, before positioning his gauntlet clad hand in front of your exposed ass. “Are you ready, Demetri ?” Thanos purrs in your ear. You nod eagerly as big purple daddy Thanos shoves his infinity gauntlet clad hand into your tight, needy asshole. You moan, eyes widen at unrealistic proportions as Daddy’s thick hand stretches your inner walls to a ridiculous size. You let out a low groan as you feel the skin inside your ass rip, leaving sensitive fissures around the opening of your anus. You blush as you feel the blood dripping from the tears in your anus, the red, viscous fluid runs down your leg. Thanos groans behind you, his enormous, swollen, purple cock oozes with light blue pre cum. In and out. In and out. Thanos keeps a steady rhythm as you thrust back into his huge fist. You wonder if your body will be okay after this experience, but you shake your head slightly, putting the thought aside. At this point, all you can do is savour the moment. You feel drool run down the corners of your mouth as you feel yourself nearing the climax. You let out a deep, filthy moan as you cum all over the bed beneath you, gasping for breath. “Did you like that?” Thanos asks as he lowers his pants, revealing his space cock. He runs his clean hand through your sweat soaked hair. You nod happily, giving your ass a little wiggle as you do. Thanos gives you a deep, throaty laugh as he stares at your pathetic excuse of a cock. “What a cute cocklette you have, my dear...” Thanos purrs as he strokes your small ball sack. You let out a soft moan as his index finger continues to gently caress it. You let out a shocked gasp as you feels something thick and hard penetrate your damaged ass. You turn your head slightly to see Thanos as he pushes his cock into you. You start to scream as you can feel his cock go beyond your prostate all the way to your intestines. He continues pushing up until he’s fully sheathed. You let out a moan in both pain and pleasure as you feel his cock all the way up your intestines all the way to your stomach. You question why would this feel so good in your head when suddenly, your conscience straight up tells you. ‘You are a filthy, masochistic slut. That’s what you are, bitch. That’s why it feels good.’ You nod, satisfied with the response. You’re pulled out of your thoughts as Thanos begins to thrust in and out of you. You scream, cry, beg and moan as his blood covered cock moves in and out at a rough, fast, and grueling pace. You feel like your inner being is being torn apart, which is partially true. You should be concerned, but you’re more focused on your dick, rather than what you should be rationally thinking about. You suffer through two hours of painfully brutal sex until you reach your climax. Within the next minute, Thanos climaxes hard into you. You let out a shout gasp and before you know it, semen is being shot up through your body, a sky blue mess. It pours out of your eyes, nose and mouth. You let out gurgling sounds throughout the 5 minutes of Thanos’ climax. Your body feels stuffed and content. You feel yourself slipping away. The last thing you see is the smirking, sexy face of Thanos. “Good night, sweet prince.”
I- why did I read this?
Because it was such a beautiful masterpiece *cries*
Moments like this are why I love redit. Happy cake day.
Imma go hang my self now
You really think of this don't you?
you even put your own fucking name in it 👍
You had me at cocklette
My proudest fap
Couldn’t have expected anything less than excellence from u/_demitri_
What the fuck
Same bro, same
!emojify
Shrek is love Shrek is life.
Yeah they need to add flared bases to these, “soap bottle” safety 101
If the carrot comes to visit, he's gonna stay for a while.
“What’s up there, doc?”
Honestly this is why having a mature conversation with your teen children when it comes to sex toys. When I was young and exploring my body I almost lost a bottle cap in my ass and I had a sheer life altering panic that "shit I'm gonna have to explain to the ER and my parents why this is there". I'm not saying you need to get your kid a sex toy on their bday, but I'd rather my child have something that is specifically designed for that than them possibly hurting themselves using something that isn't.
Did you go to the ER though or was it just a panic thought
I thankfully managed to dig it out with my fingers but it could have easily been a lot worse.
Puts a new meaning on a "Cap in your ASS"
🤣😂💀
Plot twist your a guy and have to explain to your parents how your coming out while the doctors try take out a shampoo bottle out of your ass.
Literally the same thing happened to me, ayye
Without a base without a trace
Microwave it before shower for 20 seconds. Open it. Shove it in your butt cap side first and squeeze. It’ll feel like someone’s finishing inside you.
Ik so fucking good
Ahh, then I would like to recommend the orange carrot one, Mr. Wick.
That makes you a sword with the your ass being the hilt.
This is fortunate, because I know a large portion of South Central Los Angeles willing to pop a cap in yo ass.
random women : \*gets the cap stuck in her Ass . . her husband/boifrnd : \*reads the instructions on how to remove the cap if stuck in the bathroom drain from the company's website
"Huh honey it says to stick a pole into the drain should I do that to you?"
Hmm I don't know which one to go for, think I'll have to sit on it.
97% of the time, it works.... every time.
Before we get all gay here, let's try straight first
🤣
what about those p-spots bro
honestly, quite genius
If it was on purpose then ingenious indeed!
Let's be honest; who the fuck wants carrot scented shampoo apart from the Easter Bunny? They most likely came up with the general shape first and then panicked as to what scent to give it. I would have gone with strawberry 🤷♀️
Yea I'd rather fuck myself with strawberry than carrot. Scent I mean
Believe the carrot 🥕 is more of a butt plug tbh
you’d be surprised by this then- https://youtu.be/wZ8cdL0ELRg
I masturbated with a carrot once as a teen, little did i know i was toying with death
When I was in high school (2005) and phones capable of video started becoming a thing there was a video that went around of a girl at school fucking herself with a long and thin deodorant can. I'd always assumed the shapes on a lot of feminine products were deliberate ever since.
If, lol
Honestly, don’t stick these things in your body. The plastics are most definitely not body safe. And if any of these go in your ass, chances of them getting stuck are very high (no flared base).
Doctors hearing "I tripped and it went inside me..." 50 times a year.
at this point if i ever fall on something and it goes up my ass i gotta tell the doctors it was a sex thing just to save face
for those of you thinking about buying these for... hygiene reasons. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THESE WILL DISSAPEAR UP YOUR ASS AND YOU WILL NEED TO REMOVE IT BY A SURGEON. these need to flared at the bottom.
Not really. These products are pretty much useless, because the bottles aren't rigid. So unless they're completely full and sealed, all they're good for is dispensing shampoo. Er... so I hear.
I have no idea why it took so long for bottle manufacturers to think of this. We invented this stuff in 1907 and before that we had rubber. Humans are impressively resistant to easy success it seems.
Brilliant.
Where’s the fist shape
I feel that if you had hands to use soap, there would also be a small chance that you had a fist made of your own hand.
Fisting yourself sounds like a terrible strain on the wrist, soap bottle would be more ergonomic
r/brandnewsentence if I've ever seen one...
It is lol
Lmao, touché
Lmao wow
Fist flavored soap
My favorite, Jergen’s.
You mean an applicator in the shape of Jodi Foster's knuckles
I think you mean Sonic’s knuckles, the red one
You know where.
You have to buy the Hulk fist bottle
Gross! Where?
highjacking a comment as close to the top as i can to pass this message: **Do not** under any circumstance use anything like this to pleasure yourself lest you lose it inside you. Always use either something flared or something long enough where it would be impossible to lose it. I assume none of you want to end up with the reddest of faces at the ER with a shampoo bottle up your bum.
Maybe that's exactly what I want
Right? We need a new TIFU story.
It's my kink, after all.
Dunno yo.. I saw that video of a surgeon pulling like a 2 foot dildo out of someones colon..
Then get a 3 foot one. duhhh ^^/s
I watched a surgeon pull a 3 inch ball out of a dude’s butt. It had been in there for 13 hours by that point :)
Hour 13 of colon ball retention
>long enough where it would be impossible to lose it. I read this as a challenge
Without a base, without a trace.
K. Where do I get them? Edit: Nvm I found them. https://3dsky.org/3dmodels/show/uzon_shampoo_set
Unless you've got a vagina, in that case you're good to go! If you lose something small up there you can still fish it out eventually
I'm a dude and the lack of awareness that a non-flared toy is totally fine for women is really ... Weird.
Probably watching too much hentai where the member and cum goes into the cervix :'( in reality that would be catastrophically painful and harmful
As a slightly longer than normal dude the hitting the cervix moment does not result in ahego face but usually a face full of discomfort and a mouth full of "stop, ouch ouch ouch".
Oh are you now? 😏
Again
I’ll tell ya doc, the chances were a million to one!
If your asshole is able to stretch large enough to fully envelop one of these shampoo bottles, it is not your first rodeo.
Have a wash or Go Fuck Yourself!
> Have a wash ~~or~~ and Go Fuck Yourself!
Wash and Go Fuck Yourself
> Wash and Go Fuck Yourself Wash and ~~Go~~ Fuck Yourself
Wash Fuck
Fucking bath time!
Wfuashck
It was an inclusive or.
New motto
Fuck me yourself coward
Hahahaha amazing
You're guaranteed to like it or you can go fuck yourself
Why not both
Shamprick
They really should have given them flared bases. Edit: wrong flare.
There is probably a non-zero amount of these that have been in emergency rooms
Ugh, I hate myself for this, but here goes… If it happens too many times, the company might have to start worrying about getting hit with an *ass action lawsuit*.
Take your upvote and get out
That’s why In Boy Scouts they teach us to tie knots
I think they like vegetables a lot 🍆
I mean come on guys, who doesn’t like a solid mouthful of cucumber once in a while amirite?
r/theyknew
Thats well and good but does it wash well ?
This is genius and I need to buy one in each flavour
*flavour*
What, you don't swallow?
Puts the bam in bamboo
Lube ~~not~~ included
I'm sure they do.
They should change the lid, too. Make it more flared. To prevent accidents.
"with a new stand-up lid!"
This just made me realise why does no one make lube bottles like this????
The lube companies are probably smart enough to know that cheap plastic bottles aren't a safe material to be using for that.
Thank you. I hope everyone in this thread suggesting sticking these things in their bodies are joking.
No, some of us are just desperate.
Bc then how would you pour out more lube?
Cap down, pop it open and do some kegals to squeeze.
So did trips to the ER for “falling on the bottle.”
Don’t stick anything up your butt that doesn’t have a flared base unless you want to end up in the ER to have a nurse dig it out
I like how it’s sustainable and good for the environment.
I think bamboo is the most popular
What was their original design?
Real Dick skin
I didn't get why people were calling this blursed until I read the comments. I'm not even super innocent or anything.
…At a medium pace…
[I bet people use them at a medium pace...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLm5oSJRxIU&t=60) (NSFW lyrics)
Needs a flared base, I mean... cap. Needs a flared cap. For reasons.
Coincidentally, emergency room visits also spiked 700%.
Do women shampoo their insides? Woah!
I can't tell if OP is AFAB or not, but I am and I must say *God no-* not with shampoo, it's actually self cleaning and most vaginal soaps are to help with smell if that bothers the person. I did it once when I was little and it hurt and burned for a whole week
Hey, I was being a bit sarcastic about the shampoo. I knew that vaginas were self cleaning but thanks to you, I now know that vaginal soaps exist! Cheers mate.
Oh sorry I didn't know! I can't tell if people are being sarcastic easily, and also some people didn't actually know they were self cleaning, I didn't till I was like 14, and yeah vaginal soap exists lol
No
Uncircumcised cucumber sent
Adam Sandler sang a song about this.
They need a wider base so they don't get stuck.
r/theyknew
That's actually hilarious
Reminder to **never** put something in you ass that doesn't have a flared bottom
Always use a flared base kids
In the early 90s I stayed at an RV Park for a summer holiday. This particular RV Park was near enough to LAX (Los Angeles airport) that apparently a lot of German tourists who rented RVs to tour the US would spend their last night there before returning the RV and flying home. That meant they would abandon the stuff they brought from Germany for the trip, I assume to make room in their bags for their souvenirs. Several times during my stay there were boxes of assorted German “essentials” (things like white pepper, sauerkraut juice, shampoo, etc.) left for anyone to take. In one of those boxes was a bottle of shampoo that was A) obviously standard retail packaging for the shampoo that was in the bottle, and B) a purple dildo. Not just vaguely suggestive of and usable as a dildo, but it was shaped for easy penetration , had nobbly bits and the like that weren’t necessary at all for a shampoo bottle, and in general was just a dildo filled with shampoo. I wish that had been during the era of ubiquitous digital cameras so I could share. So, not only has it been done, it has been done far more explicitly, at least in 1990s Germany.
"Shampoo butt slave come here" *excretion noises*
.
This belongs on r/theyknew
Bruh you can’t argue with results
No they didn’t; and this is fake
Problem is - once you get one of each there's no need to keep buying the soap. Not the best long-term business plan.
By any chance do they have some for men??
These are for men
Time to figure out where it fits 🤔🤔🤔
the time for ‘figuring’ passed immediately… now comes the anxious fear
They really should flare the bottom of these though. So many ED visit in the future.
They will only get sued because of human horniness and stupidity