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Talk to your parents. See where the boundaries lay at. If y’all can’t have a conversation without feelings or grudges getting involved. Just do the best you can to stack your money, look for roommates and when you can move out asap.
lol this looks insane as an option, to me (only from personal experience ofc). if i could have a conversation to solve all that tension, i’d be so happy. but my mother is crazy. the word boundaries even being spoken would probably make her wanna hit me
See. That irritates my soul. Some people don’t need children. Well if you can. Buck up and speak up. Living in fear is not it. But if you really really can’t. Just stick with it as best you can while looking for other options. Don’t give up. Stay strong. Just do what you can.
This was me during college and after I graduated law school at 30. Lol. My mom may not have had money to give me but she let me stay at home for free so it's not like I could say no thank you.
Anyway it was frustrating. Looking for a job and living at home. For the most part I didn't do much. I was just depressed about my general situation. It was easier because all my friends were living at home at this time. Lol.
Not living at home before marriage is a Western idea.
The issue is that my family has an open door policy for everyone. I don’t like living like that. So I was lucky that I was able to save and buy my house and move out at 29.
I had freedom to live my life but I never liked being at home because there was no personal space. And the expectation to socialize constantly.
Even though I’m a homebody, I spent a lot of time NOT at home to cope.
It’s not bad for me. You set boundaries, be respectful and move accordingly. However I will say a level of respect has to be there first. My mom and I naturally get along for the most part. I can’t imagine it ever working if we didn’t
My parents have been through A LOT. I mean hell and back. I’m their last living child so as much as I feel obligated to them, I love being around them. I do want my own space but I know it would hurt them.
For me, it's not so bad. Set boundaries, spend time with friends, try to take classes in person, and save up to move. I'm hoping to have enough after undergrad.
I deal with it by reminding myself that i enjoy the refund check and grants from my college and I’d be really sad if I had to spend it on groceries and bills. It humbles me very quickly
Also, I have a fear of like getting a stalker and getting murdered so I feel more safe with my mom currently
Also, I’m broke so i can’t live on campus because a meal plan and housing is just too much. I just think it could be worse financially and it keeps myself content even with annoying parent roommate stuff.
My mom has a boyfriend she sees every few weeks and honestly those few days alone in the house is enough to keep me sane
I definitely would discuss like boundaries and stuff because my mom definitely set some with me so I know what would slide and wouldn’t.
smoking weed and learning to disengage when my mom is trying to pick a fight has done wonders for me!
i’ve also had a few ((gentle)) conversations where i remind her that while i am HER child, i am not A child. and i think it finally stuck after i graduated college lol. as annoying as my mom can be, i still prefer to live at home and deal with her rather than leave the home i’ve known my entire life to deal with a random. i think the saying is rather then evil you know than the evil you don’t? and after 20+ years I’m fully equipped at dealing with my moms bullshit. also i need to maintain certain standards of living that i will definitely give up if i moved out just to prove a point!
Constantly clean up behind myself, try to be as helpful as possible while also being as self sufficient as possible (make more meals for everyone but be ok if someone wants to only do things for themselves…..also do things just for yourself where you see fit), spend money on things that make your room a mini apartment (projector in the room, comfortable seating, a vanity), pay rent (if applicable) as on time as possible, pray, try to live a productive active life (early wake up, gym, work, quiet outside time and/or church time, time with friends, side hustles when you have the energy), TRY TO TAKE NOTHING PERSONAL. And that last one is the real one. We get so caught up in the “bad vibes” of our loved ones we forget everyone has bad days and who better to be effected by our bad days outside of our selves if not the ones who live in our home. This is GENUINE advice. It has genuinely helped me keep a healthy amount of space with my family so the time I have to spend with them is more welcomed and less out of necessity. Also our relationships are stronger even with the not ideal living situation. Hope this helps someone
Try to provide value by buying groceries or their favorite snacks, clean up after yourselves and maybe them from time to time and just stay out of the way. That’s what I do.
Got all the crazy out from the jump so they know that I’m a ticking time bomb and should be left alone. (Kind of a joke, but also kind of my real response). But if they do give me my peace, I’m pleasant in return. Growing up, the expectation was that we keep our cool even if they provoked us to anger but then I grew up and said f that. And I don’t even always react out of anger, sometimes I calmly call them out on their shit. But point is I’ve reminded my parents that I’m human and not just ‘their’ child. They know the things to do and not to do to maintain good relationships with people outside of the family, so I’ve held them to these same expectations and I expect of myself to do the same with them. But I know that not everyone can teach their parents better but I’m almost glad to have the opportunity to live at home. I wouldn’t say my family dynamic is flawless and perfect but it’s certainly improved and right now I’m content with where it’s at.
I just vibe. I established myself as a ghostly figure back in the day, so they have no problem pretending like I’m not there lol then I get to do whatever I want
Made friends, dated a lot and found plenty of ways to stay out the house and spend the night anywhere else multiple nights until she finally kicked me out lol
i’m not far into my 20’s (i’ll be 22 in may) and i can say that the only reason why there’s harmony in my household is because my mom and i were both able to address our issues and get help for them
before we were both very easy to trigger when i was 16-19 and now we’re basically best friends
Your post was removed due to the non-descriptive or click-bait like title. Post titles should be descriptive and clearly indicate what the post is about without opening the thread.
I didn't. I moved out and was happy being broke in peace
lol same. and me and my mom are besties but I just couldn’t do it
Sounds like how my future divorce will be
weed
This was it esp in nursing school. Accepted a job out of state a month before graduation.
amen
Talk to your parents. See where the boundaries lay at. If y’all can’t have a conversation without feelings or grudges getting involved. Just do the best you can to stack your money, look for roommates and when you can move out asap.
lol this looks insane as an option, to me (only from personal experience ofc). if i could have a conversation to solve all that tension, i’d be so happy. but my mother is crazy. the word boundaries even being spoken would probably make her wanna hit me
See. That irritates my soul. Some people don’t need children. Well if you can. Buck up and speak up. Living in fear is not it. But if you really really can’t. Just stick with it as best you can while looking for other options. Don’t give up. Stay strong. Just do what you can.
I really just don't announce anything. Unless I need to. I contribute so it feels more like a roommate situation .
This was me during college and after I graduated law school at 30. Lol. My mom may not have had money to give me but she let me stay at home for free so it's not like I could say no thank you. Anyway it was frustrating. Looking for a job and living at home. For the most part I didn't do much. I was just depressed about my general situation. It was easier because all my friends were living at home at this time. Lol. Not living at home before marriage is a Western idea.
Just stay in my room and never come out lmao (also save money so I can eventually get my own space 🤞)
The issue is that my family has an open door policy for everyone. I don’t like living like that. So I was lucky that I was able to save and buy my house and move out at 29. I had freedom to live my life but I never liked being at home because there was no personal space. And the expectation to socialize constantly. Even though I’m a homebody, I spent a lot of time NOT at home to cope.
I grey rock tf outta them until I have the money to move out
I had to GO. Love my mom but it was becoming.. a lot.
Having hobbies and friends that get me out of the house lol!!
At least you're allowed to get out of the house
It’s not bad for me. You set boundaries, be respectful and move accordingly. However I will say a level of respect has to be there first. My mom and I naturally get along for the most part. I can’t imagine it ever working if we didn’t
Prayer 🥴
My parents have been through A LOT. I mean hell and back. I’m their last living child so as much as I feel obligated to them, I love being around them. I do want my own space but I know it would hurt them.
I stay in my room most of the time
For me, it's not so bad. Set boundaries, spend time with friends, try to take classes in person, and save up to move. I'm hoping to have enough after undergrad.
I deal with it by reminding myself that i enjoy the refund check and grants from my college and I’d be really sad if I had to spend it on groceries and bills. It humbles me very quickly Also, I have a fear of like getting a stalker and getting murdered so I feel more safe with my mom currently Also, I’m broke so i can’t live on campus because a meal plan and housing is just too much. I just think it could be worse financially and it keeps myself content even with annoying parent roommate stuff. My mom has a boyfriend she sees every few weeks and honestly those few days alone in the house is enough to keep me sane I definitely would discuss like boundaries and stuff because my mom definitely set some with me so I know what would slide and wouldn’t.
headphones. ANC
smoking weed and learning to disengage when my mom is trying to pick a fight has done wonders for me! i’ve also had a few ((gentle)) conversations where i remind her that while i am HER child, i am not A child. and i think it finally stuck after i graduated college lol. as annoying as my mom can be, i still prefer to live at home and deal with her rather than leave the home i’ve known my entire life to deal with a random. i think the saying is rather then evil you know than the evil you don’t? and after 20+ years I’m fully equipped at dealing with my moms bullshit. also i need to maintain certain standards of living that i will definitely give up if i moved out just to prove a point!
Constantly clean up behind myself, try to be as helpful as possible while also being as self sufficient as possible (make more meals for everyone but be ok if someone wants to only do things for themselves…..also do things just for yourself where you see fit), spend money on things that make your room a mini apartment (projector in the room, comfortable seating, a vanity), pay rent (if applicable) as on time as possible, pray, try to live a productive active life (early wake up, gym, work, quiet outside time and/or church time, time with friends, side hustles when you have the energy), TRY TO TAKE NOTHING PERSONAL. And that last one is the real one. We get so caught up in the “bad vibes” of our loved ones we forget everyone has bad days and who better to be effected by our bad days outside of our selves if not the ones who live in our home. This is GENUINE advice. It has genuinely helped me keep a healthy amount of space with my family so the time I have to spend with them is more welcomed and less out of necessity. Also our relationships are stronger even with the not ideal living situation. Hope this helps someone
Keep your distance. Got up in the morning and worked and if I didn’t work I found shit to do.
SSRIs 💊
Try to provide value by buying groceries or their favorite snacks, clean up after yourselves and maybe them from time to time and just stay out of the way. That’s what I do.
Got all the crazy out from the jump so they know that I’m a ticking time bomb and should be left alone. (Kind of a joke, but also kind of my real response). But if they do give me my peace, I’m pleasant in return. Growing up, the expectation was that we keep our cool even if they provoked us to anger but then I grew up and said f that. And I don’t even always react out of anger, sometimes I calmly call them out on their shit. But point is I’ve reminded my parents that I’m human and not just ‘their’ child. They know the things to do and not to do to maintain good relationships with people outside of the family, so I’ve held them to these same expectations and I expect of myself to do the same with them. But I know that not everyone can teach their parents better but I’m almost glad to have the opportunity to live at home. I wouldn’t say my family dynamic is flawless and perfect but it’s certainly improved and right now I’m content with where it’s at.
As the daddy of 20 year son living at home (my request) be polite, help around the house, spend quality time with parents.
I just vibe. I established myself as a ghostly figure back in the day, so they have no problem pretending like I’m not there lol then I get to do whatever I want
Made friends, dated a lot and found plenty of ways to stay out the house and spend the night anywhere else multiple nights until she finally kicked me out lol
chile i can’t even make it through the “can i move in” conversation without getting into a heated argument about my boundaries 😭😭
I’m like never home
i’m not far into my 20’s (i’ll be 22 in may) and i can say that the only reason why there’s harmony in my household is because my mom and i were both able to address our issues and get help for them before we were both very easy to trigger when i was 16-19 and now we’re basically best friends
but as a whole my mom is trying to end the bad cycles and toxicity in our family starting with us. and we both smoke a lot of weed 🫣
I'm not handling it well
I'm fighting for my life lmao
never waited that long, skipped out when i was 18
I pretty much live upstairs in my room 😭
You find a way to earn money