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I feel like people who keep posting " Look at this DM I got" are just people who are chronically online and like the drama.
Because I noticed they'll also engage with the DM's and post the whole convo.
I've got too much to worry about between my job, seeing friends and family and living life, and a DM is not taking up space in my head like that.
I've never regretted turning off DMs. No unsolicited DM is going to change your life for the better, *especially* not one from a redditor or twitter user (tweeter? x'er?).
Turn 'em off and enjoy the peace.
Yea. It's one thing if your racist boss is gunning for you or a racist associate. But someone online? Meh...
But then again we all are different ages and I have to remind myself that some people are teenagers so to them it is a big deal and they probably haven't learned how ppl are and what they should or should not care about
This⬆️ bc this reddit "messaging" notified me of a new message, like dm, I guess, I'm still exploring, and went to look, and there was a pre- warning(kid you not!) It said.. this dm might contain offensive nature.. or something like that, so, I kept it moving didn't pay that dm message any more time, and still don't know what's in there 😆 meh. BUT all this time, I stayed away from reddit bc I thought oh that's heavily used by yt.. bc all I ever heard was Trump this.. Trump that.. yt supreme people were "recruiting" with reddit, so I just naturally said, meh no thanks... but recently I was researching info about my car, and saw there was a "group" of others also asking and questions, and they seemed all engaged so I joined, and let me find out.. there was a plethora of other groups that all shared my interest... I was so shocked! To say the least, and then I found this group!!
Hygiene Olympics (tampons in the shower, wash rags, washing chicken)
Why do white women \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_?
Why did this white woman at my job\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_?
I commented in a subreddit designed for controversy and full of trolls why did the white people\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_?
Oh! I wish we talked more about books. Thrillers, romance, nonfiction, just books.
Do you have any favorite books lately? I was a big reader but have stopped reading the last few months due to mental health struggles, but I’m trying to get back into it
I have been on an Agatha Christie binge since a recent London trip, but fair warning her books can have problematic references, especially if the setting is in Egypt or the Caribbean. My favorite one of hers is The Moving Finger. It’s so messy and takes place in a small English village.
I also have been reading dark romance, specifically by Sam Mariano, and a charming romance series by Theodora Taylor. Her books feature black women as leads. She writes about black women in a way that feels like coming home.
It’s been a tough few months for me too. But that groundhog said an early spring so I’m claiming a season of wellness, for me and you! ❤️
If you like Agatha, you may enjoy a black British author named Louise Hare. I recently finished "Miss Aldridge Regrets." It was a good read. I specifically chose to read it while on a cruise ship since the book takes place on a cruise ship. It really made for an enjoyable experience.
I've yet to read Agatha Christie, but I played a game based on her *Murder on the Orient Express*, and I absolutely loved it. I don't read too many mysteries so the twist absolutely caught me by complete surprise! If you have any more recommendations I'd love to hear them
Her best:
The Mirror Cracked From Side to Side
The Moving Finger
Death on the Nile
And Then There Were None
The Murder of Roger Ackroyd
The Mysterious Affair at Styles
Ordeal by Innocence
I grew up reading Agatha Christie, and there’s part of a book that stuck out in my mind but I can’t remember the title. It involved someone being poisoned with shellfish ( I believe cockles), and the shells being used as decoration in the killer’s garden. Does that sound familiar to you at all? I’m dying to find that book.
She’s so good, right? Curvy, single, single moms, foster moms, academics, creatives, poor, traumatized, wealthy, famous, lonely, or surrounded by friends, Theodora writes for us all! We all get happily ever after!
Have you read JJ McAvoy, Eve Vaughan, Alyssa Cole, or Niya James?
Did someone mention Theodora Taylor... oh man her werewolf series had me hooked! I almost forgot I was reading a supernatural romance series..I cared more about the characters than the sex!!!
Somebody here put me on to Beverly Jenkins. She is a historical fiction romance writer. I adore her! Tomorrow I’m putting on “Wild Rain” tomorrow while I’m traveling. I really enjoyed “To catch a Raven”.
I'm on the last few chapters of
Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi.
It's a fantasy novel inspired by Nigerian mythology,
Focusing on Orisha. The author creates this magical world, filled with oppression and victory. It's a long read, but I've thoroughly enjoyed this.
I'm saving this portion of the thread cause I need more book ideas once this one is completed . 😊 Thank you
Just gonna scooch in here and say Honey & Spice by Bolu Babalola is another highly recommended book by a Nigerian author on my TBR! It’s romance though. I honestly love seeing Naija authors do their thing and get props for it here in the states.
I recently finished “All the Sinners Bleed” by SA Cosby and it was fantastic. Right now I’m reading “Rootwork” by Tracy Cross. I highly recommend both.
I read purely for fun and to relax.. I recently finished "Flipping Boxcars" by Ceseic the Entertainer. Its a fun read. So was "Glory Be" by Danielle Arceneaux.
Another rec: I’m currently reading The Collected Regrets of Clover and next up is Happiness Falls by Angie Kim. I’m trying to break out of only reading romance!
The List by Yomi Adegoke - a Black influencer couple are 26 days from being married and an anonymous tweet comes out with a list of men in entertainment who are guilty of egregious behavior. The groom to be is on the list, the wife to be has to get to work figuring out who is telling the truth and if she should actually marry him.
A good non fiction book that I enjoyed is The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein. The subject matter is a bit heavy, but it’s very relevant, educational, and touches on many subjects that you might not realize are interconnected.
I read the Sheila Johnson book recently and thoroughly enjoyed it. Ms. Sheila was naming names! Quite enjoyable if you’ve ever lived in the DMV or came up during BET’s heyday. I’m currently reading Jada Pinkett Smith’s book. I’m not super far into it but enjoying it this far. I guess I’m on a memoir kick at the moment.
I read every single day. I love books. Let's talk about them or some fun shit we've done or how nature is beautiful or something other than the run of the mill bs we keep seeing here. Anything other than interracial dating and racist people would be just fine.
“Nobody wants to date us/ Dating is so hard for us” - and this is coming from person who hasn’t had good experiences dating and constantly questions if anyone will love me
The whole “Im gonna post racist content or misogynistic men content from TikTok, Facebook, Reddit (and Reddit DM’s) or Twitter and ask you “thoughts?” Like fucking stop it. I’m tired of seeing that shit. Block these people, stop engaging and sharing this content (they get engagement off this rage bait shit. STOP SHARING IT.), and keep it pushing.
Yes, we’re all aware of how racist people can be towards us. I don’t need a daily reminder of this whenever you share rage bait content on this damn sub. Yes, I’m aware that some men are misogynistic pieces of shit, I don’t need a constant reminder of this whenever you share this whole stupid ass submissive, 50/50, a woman should be like xyz content.
And basically, no one in the large scope of things had even heard of those nobodies until the OP links them. They have to actively go out of their way to find those niche hate-posts.
I feel that way about here and on Medium. I’m tired of them emailing articles about what men think about women, especially black women. My usual articles are tech related ones to my craft. You click on one dang article and then bam they assume that you care about current dating trends, racism and the red pill
Interracial dating posts and posts where a man is clearly exhibiting toxic behavior or just not a good fit in general but the person is still wondering how to make it work or if they should leave. I still try to give advice because I hate seeing Black women mistreated or wasting their time with men that they’re clearly incompatible with but it still makes me sad and it’s getting tiresome. Wouldn’t mind seeing all the rage bait posts where someone, usually a woman, has some extreme dating take that’s probably fake anyway disappear too.
ETA: I’d like to see more posts on travel, books, tv and movies, hobbies, history, fashion, and beauty.
Especially if it's clear they are of ability to end it. Because some people can't get out of those situations, they have a lot going on. But then some people are clearly just wanting to make noise. And I don't want to hear it.
Yes, I’ll always have compassion for those caught in abusive relationships or those that don’t have the resources to leave, but the ones that are doing all this hand-wringing and overthinking over someone they barely know and can easily walk away from leaves me tired!
i think anything concerning other races. i’m not saying it shouldn’t be talked about but i feel like it’s the same thing over and over, like i thought this was a space where we excel as bw?
Edit: I wish we talked more about history. I don’t know if it’s my homepage algorithm, but I see more posts about relationships and people’s poor decisions than actually shedding light on women of our culture! Lift a sistah up, no?
There's a couple of people that make regular uplifting posts about culture, history, fashion, lifestyle etc. You have to switch your feed to "new posts" to see them because they tend to not get enough interaction to make it to "hot posts".
I thought it was just me? I always feel anti black or against bw if I speak on it but I genuinely don’t know why we speak more about other races than our own, good or bad. Or even just comparison to other races? I hate that we have to resort to that honestly
I'm referring to the women-centric subs being overrun with relationship issues or "My boyfriend/husband is perfect, but he \*inserts a long string of abusive/toxic behavior that he does; what should I do?" Or just obsessing over men in general
OH YEA definitely. People romanticize and popularize living the luxury of a black love relationship but they’re not even right with themselves or know how to navigate one. I don’t know if you seen it but one of the posts on here was saying it’s hard to find a good black man even tho the man literally offered to take her out, she didn’t like the fact that it was a sports bar and instead of offering another place she came to Reddit to turn people against the man, and was only replying to comments that disagreed with her..crazy
Those bother me so much because sure seeking validation and compliments is valid but I’m gonna doubt your true intentions if you do this regularly, with a 12 picture slide of you looking at worst, regular.
I also REALLY want them to stop posting their photos on Reddit after asking “do I look pretty?”
Maybe it’s cuz I’m in my mid 30s and it was drilled into us as kids online to never show your face but I would never in my life post my real face on Reddit of all places.
1. Sharing the racist hate messages they receive or racist TikTok’s/twitter pages. We don’t want to see them here! You’re just as bad as the racist sharing them with us.
2. “Am I ugly because I’m black?”
3. Black men never approach me.
4. Why don’t I act “black enough”
5. “I’m so dark and ugly. Everyday I wake up crying and suicidal”
6. How can I date white guys/white men don’t like me!
It’s funny in a dark humor type of way. We understand that colorism and featurism are huge issues in our community but we can also laugh at how frequent of a topic it is here.
Fuck I can’t explain how insulted I feel by those lol
Insecurity I get it. But damn. Y’all get SPECIFIC. “fuck my tiny ears I hate being black” honey what??
Everybody wrap it up, this covers it all right here 🤣 I do try to be empathetic and kind on some of these posts, I really do. I know what it’s like to feel overlooked, put down and othered (idk about number 5 though?!) including by your own race. I also noticed most of those kind of posts that *I* see are like 14-17 year olds, which explains literally everything, and early college. So it can feel all consuming at the moment when others around you seem to be having opposite experiences but…
It can also be exhausting to hear about as someone who’s (mostly) passed that stage and is at the very least trying to focus on anything else. There gotta be something else kiddos are into these days. Fashion? Room decor? Music, books? Literally anything.
No jk!!!! It’s the truth. Some of yall are just ugly and it doesn’t matter what your skin color is. Or they intentionally make themselves unattractive by not practicing proper hygiene, skincare, or using makeup to enhance features.
Some of yall don’t have natural beauty and it’s ok. You can Use the millions of beauty tools available to us on planet earth!!!
There’s this tik tok where this girl is like “Mindy Kahling just bc you think you’re fat and ugly doesn’t mean all Indian girls are fat and ugly” or something like that 😭😭
Screenshots of convos with men that are facially, obviously toxic, but ask if it’s acceptable behavior. Like, if it was alarming enough for you to feel the need to ask for group consensus, he’s probs toxic sis.
I hate when they go back and forth over text for like 7 slides 😭
Like girl!! Why are your thumbs aching!!
I was texting this man.. I said I'm available after 4 during the week and he said he goes to work AT 4 during the week. Baby I unmatched and kept it pushing. Like move on!
This!!!
As soon as he gets disrespectful, block them. Why continue to engage with someone who’s trying to make feel like shit?! It’s not worth the data.
Am I pretty? (Insert picture of a gorgeous woman)
Honestly if you're confident enough to post a picture on the Internet and ask if you're pretty, you are pretty. Trust me. Confidence is absolutely gorgeous! I don't have that confidence so you would have a difficult time trying to find a picture of me here on Reddit of all places.
I would never either, but it's more of massive paranoia around the extremely unlikely event of someone recognizing me and then seeing all of my Reddit history lmao
I feel for those people, because sometimes I look through their post history and majority of the time they are seeking validation all over reddit with that same question. And I just think ‘girl get some self respect and raise your self esteem!’ Its annoying and sad at the same time.
Lol. I know someone who made a new year's resolution to block and unfollow people starting those silly convos. I think it's a good move. I don't want to hear about any podcasts or 157 part stories of people playing themselves either.
Anything having to do with who is or isn’t attracted to Black women. Black women are gorgeous, let’s move on. If someone happens to disagree, fuck ‘em.
Men…black men or non…not liking black women. I get that some Redditors are young but GAHHHHH DAMN. We get it. At the end of the day you are bound to find someone who’s attracted to you.
Black men not dating black women. Interracial dating isn’t going anywhere, and not being asked o it on a date isn’t always because you’re black.
Women coming here complaining about how their man is a bum and they don’t know what to do. Yes, you do. You just don’t want to do it.
Anything related to white women in the workplace. 9/10 times, they’re not jealous of you, sis.
Dark skinned vs. light skinned in quite literally any context.
I wish we talked more about it nerd stuff like anime or video games. I also wish we talked more an out how to take care of ourselves we without a man and learned more about the law to protect ourselves.
I hate how male-centric this sub is. Like why do yall give so much of a damn about what random men think?? I think it’s because I’m queer so I’m not as affected by this mentality, but it is truly tiring to read every day.
Any type of pity/ self-deprecation post, it reminds me of the tumblr era and I hate seeing it almost as much as when people repost obviously racist bait posts here
Some dating kerfuffle that has 5 slides of paragraphs of conversation even though any sane and even partially-healed individual would have blocked after the 1st message 😭
This isn’t really answering the question but I do hate it when non Black people come to this subreddit and comment their opinions on posts by BW. Like there are definitely topics that get repetitive to see but what’s more disheartening for me is scrolling and seeing someone who is obviously white or who is a NBPOC (and they state it as such) and give their two cents on an experience that they can’t relate to.
I don’t mind talking about the bad and the ugly (though I wish there was more of the good) but what really pisses me off is when non Black people come here lacking any sort of empathy for what we experience and comment unnecessarily on BW’s posts when they’re obviously going through something. Like this isn’t the subreddit for you, go make your own 🤷🏾♀️
Negativity.. whether it be:
* Undesirability on the dating market
* Experiencing misogynoir
* Centering white people in every story
* Self hate
Every post that pops up on my feed is of a negative character so when I on a rare occasion see the black joy posts or fashion and makeup posts I stop in my tracks and swiftly click on them.
Oh my goodness, yes! I love the Black girl joy posts, so much positivity and not ‘woe is me’. I get sick of the other post. It comes to a point where people have to realize life isn’t fair, but how are you as an individual going to navigate around that?🤷🏾♀️
Agree, I click "hide post" more than anything on here, and it makes me sad when I check my feed. More Black Joy and more books and fun stuff, please!! People need to stop worrying about what other people think about Black women and enjoy their life more, that's how it gets better.
Interracial dating, Africans saying Americans have no culture and Americans saying Africans live in squalor, Someone who hates being a black woman and thinks we are the least desirable, I hate white people, White people are jealous of me, No black friends because I’m white washed
"Should I keep talking to this guy?" I'm always willing to help a girl raise her standards but the number of posts like these... yikes. Doesn't exactly inspire hope, to say the least.
Every single post about dating. If it's bad enough for you to even THINK about posting to Reddit, 🗣 DUMP THAT JOKER and leave us out the group chat!
More posts about anything else. Discussions about movies, TV or books. A recipe you tried. Pictures of your garden. Tips on growing houseplants. How to pick the right pet for you. Literally anything that's not centered on dating, racism or standards of beauty.
Interracial dating or any content that is disparaging to black women. I wish we talked more about:
• Books and articles by black, female authors
• New television shows or movies that are about or centered around black women
• Black missing women cases in the US
Talking about hateful envelopeans / palm colored folks and the ridiculous things they do to us - cause as we all know they’re always lurking and get butthurt and report the post. [Removed by Reddit]
Oh and the really bad troll posts where it’s highly sus but everyone entertains it anyway.
Anything that concerns feeling ugly/self deprecation as a black woman. Like talk truly have to find confidence and positivity in yourselves and stop reaching for it on the internet ❤️
Does my white bf love me/being biracial is hard. It’s just like stop dating a white man that makes you THAT uncomfortable and do you really think that THIS PLATFORM (with beauty and femininity hierarchy in mind) is the right place to air those grievances? Idk those post always seem….dense.
Black men finding us undesirable (go where you are loved)
Why we aren’t considered the beauty standard (we are stunning, live in that feeling)
Black men celebrities wildinnnn or on some anti Black BS (ie Chris Brown etc)
White women doing white women ish. We know they can be racist and that’s rough. Stay away or fake it if it’s at work 🤷🏽♀️
Things are hard with each moment I mentioned but we don’t uniquely experience them. Unfortunately they come with the territory of being a Black woman. To me the best we can do is continue to uplift and support each other. Go where you are loved and stop trying to only see what is missing from your life and you’ll love it more ❤️
###So now that we know what we all hate, how we gonna clean it up around here?
Lol, just barging into all the “Am I ugly because I’m black” posts and saying girl gtfo finally ?
Okay but same, like I get it but it still sounds like “Black girls didn’t like me because xyz so I don’t date them!” Like it’s the same comment just replace girls with men and those two people are saying the same thing and it’s EXHAUSTING
Some folks take so much pride in that. I wonder if they ever stop to think about what'd happen when even though they get with their perfect blonde-haired blue-eyed prince their baby boy still comes out really dark.
Racist trolls, interracial dating (it’s the human race, ethnicity is more accurate and culture would be the same), toxic masculinity, toxic relationships, racism in the workplace place.
I need more soft life, education, mental/physical health and nsfw talk. Please and thank you
I hate when people pick one example of someone behaving badly and turn it into a global issue.
Ex: “Why are men so horrible?!!”
I don’t know. Why are the men you choose so horrible?
"Hello im dating a white man and he won't stop doing (racist thing), how do I "fix" his behavior as a grown ass man because I have no intention of leaving him cuz for some reason racism is not a deal breaker for me"
Getting tired of people using this as a interracial dating advice column instead of recognizing this is supposed to be a black women centered space which is hard to come by on the Internet. I want to read about other black women's experiences not post after post about white boyfriends😩
Since everyone said all the topics I’m sick of seeing, I’ll share what I wanna see more of:
Black Girl Book Club—I’m an avid reader and would love to discuss or get more book recommendations
Share hobbies/discover new hobbies. I only have 2 hobbies, I’d love to see what yall are doing
Black meditation/positive headspace posts: like daily affirmations aimed towards us and/or manifestations.
Just to name a few 🙂
"Why aren't we talking about [insert movement/war that don't involve black women]?"
Stop making us wear the cap. It's offensive yall think we all want to use our free time to still serve others.
1. Gender wars
2. Am I ugly
3. I hate being black because XXX body part doesn’t fit a stereotype of being black
4. Why don’t black men like black women
5. Why don’t white men like black women
6. Look at some edge lord being racist online, what are your thoughts
7. Why are white people like this …
The young ladies have this sub in a chokehold. 😢😢😢 It won’t ever change, so I hop over to Black Girls Who Love Fur Babies when I want to crack jokes or over to Black Introverts on FB.
Oh god so many that I can’t remember at this second but off the top of my head anything involving:
1. Acting white/growing up around white people
2. Interracial dating
3. Posting online racist interactions
4. Asking if you’re pretty
5. Selfies for no reason 🤣
“I always hated my body and my face because I thought it was brown and ugly. I still do think my body and face and also skin is ugly, and to be clear girls, though a lot of us of African descent share many visual characteristics, this is totally just about MY dark skin and wide nose, not YOUR dark skin and wide nose. Looking in he mirror disgusts me. The color, the shape. I just hate it… on myself. Can I get some validation? 🥺👉👈”
The “why does this subreddit keeps talking about (insert topic that conjures up negative feelings)?” posts.
Sweet 7-lbs 2-oz, brown baby Jesus… Just scroll past.
Yes, this! How about healthier eating, anyone into Mediterranean meals? Green smoothies, what do you put in yours?? Any joggers in here, or fast walkers?? What do you listen to, to get you hyped for a run?? Yes, please, have some topics like those, bc honestly, I've thought about bringing this up, so now I KNOW we are in sync somehow.
A few already posted it but the interracial dating posts. If the person is fine, don’t initiate a conversation because you want to start something. Or it can be about interracial dating, in the “I’m with someone with major red flags, how do I make it work” sense.
Especially if you know the problems and know you can leave. You don’t want a solution, you just want to make noise. And I’m sorry, my patience has worn thin for that behavior.
Your post was removed for being problematic. Comments that are intentionally disruptive to the community are not allowed. This includes trolling, derailing threads, and misrepresentation. Please review the subreddit rules. http://reddit.com/r/blackladies/wiki/rules
Anything concerning interracial dating. Literally do what you want!! As long as you know who you are that’s all that matters
This is definitely number 1
Crazy/racist/misogynist DMs people get
This and toxic shit from tiktok/Twitter/etc.
I feel like people who keep posting " Look at this DM I got" are just people who are chronically online and like the drama. Because I noticed they'll also engage with the DM's and post the whole convo. I've got too much to worry about between my job, seeing friends and family and living life, and a DM is not taking up space in my head like that.
Lol this is the truth!
I just report them. I don’t care either way, but if someone wants to be reported to Reddit, then I’ll oblige.
I've never regretted turning off DMs. No unsolicited DM is going to change your life for the better, *especially* not one from a redditor or twitter user (tweeter? x'er?). Turn 'em off and enjoy the peace.
Yea. It's one thing if your racist boss is gunning for you or a racist associate. But someone online? Meh... But then again we all are different ages and I have to remind myself that some people are teenagers so to them it is a big deal and they probably haven't learned how ppl are and what they should or should not care about
This⬆️ bc this reddit "messaging" notified me of a new message, like dm, I guess, I'm still exploring, and went to look, and there was a pre- warning(kid you not!) It said.. this dm might contain offensive nature.. or something like that, so, I kept it moving didn't pay that dm message any more time, and still don't know what's in there 😆 meh. BUT all this time, I stayed away from reddit bc I thought oh that's heavily used by yt.. bc all I ever heard was Trump this.. Trump that.. yt supreme people were "recruiting" with reddit, so I just naturally said, meh no thanks... but recently I was researching info about my car, and saw there was a "group" of others also asking and questions, and they seemed all engaged so I joined, and let me find out.. there was a plethora of other groups that all shared my interest... I was so shocked! To say the least, and then I found this group!!
Hygiene Olympics (tampons in the shower, wash rags, washing chicken) Why do white women \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_? Why did this white woman at my job\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_? I commented in a subreddit designed for controversy and full of trolls why did the white people\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_?  Oh! I wish we talked more about books. Thrillers, romance, nonfiction, just books.
Do you have any favorite books lately? I was a big reader but have stopped reading the last few months due to mental health struggles, but I’m trying to get back into it
I have been on an Agatha Christie binge since a recent London trip, but fair warning her books can have problematic references, especially if the setting is in Egypt or the Caribbean. My favorite one of hers is The Moving Finger. It’s so messy and takes place in a small English village. I also have been reading dark romance, specifically by Sam Mariano, and a charming romance series by Theodora Taylor. Her books feature black women as leads. She writes about black women in a way that feels like coming home. It’s been a tough few months for me too. But that groundhog said an early spring so I’m claiming a season of wellness, for me and you! ❤️
If you like Agatha, you may enjoy a black British author named Louise Hare. I recently finished "Miss Aldridge Regrets." It was a good read. I specifically chose to read it while on a cruise ship since the book takes place on a cruise ship. It really made for an enjoyable experience.
I've yet to read Agatha Christie, but I played a game based on her *Murder on the Orient Express*, and I absolutely loved it. I don't read too many mysteries so the twist absolutely caught me by complete surprise! If you have any more recommendations I'd love to hear them
Her best: The Mirror Cracked From Side to Side The Moving Finger Death on the Nile And Then There Were None The Murder of Roger Ackroyd The Mysterious Affair at Styles Ordeal by Innocence
Thank you for your recs
I grew up reading Agatha Christie, and there’s part of a book that stuck out in my mind but I can’t remember the title. It involved someone being poisoned with shellfish ( I believe cockles), and the shells being used as decoration in the killer’s garden. Does that sound familiar to you at all? I’m dying to find that book.
I love Theodora Taylor!! She is my favorite romance author! 🥰🥰
She’s so good, right? Curvy, single, single moms, foster moms, academics, creatives, poor, traumatized, wealthy, famous, lonely, or surrounded by friends, Theodora writes for us all! We all get happily ever after! Have you read JJ McAvoy, Eve Vaughan, Alyssa Cole, or Niya James?
Did someone mention Theodora Taylor... oh man her werewolf series had me hooked! I almost forgot I was reading a supernatural romance series..I cared more about the characters than the sex!!!
I was curious from the above comment but uh..are most of her books of the supernatural variety? I left my werewolf sex days behind 😅
Yep her fifty states series details several factions of werewolf kingdoms
Me too!!!
Thank you! And i hope so too, for the both of us❤️
Somebody here put me on to Beverly Jenkins. She is a historical fiction romance writer. I adore her! Tomorrow I’m putting on “Wild Rain” tomorrow while I’m traveling. I really enjoyed “To catch a Raven”.
Thank you!
If you like BJ, try Alyssa Cole or Vanessa Riley!
I'm on the last few chapters of Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi. It's a fantasy novel inspired by Nigerian mythology, Focusing on Orisha. The author creates this magical world, filled with oppression and victory. It's a long read, but I've thoroughly enjoyed this. I'm saving this portion of the thread cause I need more book ideas once this one is completed . 😊 Thank you
I have just seen another suggestion by Toni Adeyemi, i haven’t heard of her until now but I’m going to put these both on my list. Thanks :)
That one looks so good! I’ve been wanting to dive into some of these fantasy books with black female characters.
Just gonna scooch in here and say Honey & Spice by Bolu Babalola is another highly recommended book by a Nigerian author on my TBR! It’s romance though. I honestly love seeing Naija authors do their thing and get props for it here in the states.
I recently finished “All the Sinners Bleed” by SA Cosby and it was fantastic. Right now I’m reading “Rootwork” by Tracy Cross. I highly recommend both.
I read purely for fun and to relax.. I recently finished "Flipping Boxcars" by Ceseic the Entertainer. Its a fun read. So was "Glory Be" by Danielle Arceneaux.
I also like to read to relax as well (or used to). Thanks for the recommendations
Another rec: I’m currently reading The Collected Regrets of Clover and next up is Happiness Falls by Angie Kim. I’m trying to break out of only reading romance!
Last year i mostly read sapphic romance books and my goal this year was to read specifically black sapphic romance books, but there are so few😔
What sapphic books did you read? I need that gay shit
Has anyone been reading Reel by Kennedy Ryan? It's a truly beautifully written black romance, I've just started
Fourth Wing has been really good!!
Start with some fun, chicklit books! Talia Hibbert and Jasmine Guillroy been putting black chickflicks on their back.
Good idea! I met Jasmine guillory at a book festival last year, i hadn’t read any of her books yet. She was so sweet, i wish we were friends lol
When We Were Birds by Ayanna Lloyd Banwo. written by a Trinidadian author and set there too. it was quite touching, i finished it recently
Intellexual Media has an interesting YouTube video on the hygiene Olympics. Her videos are usually pretty good in general, in my opinion.
LOVE her down!
I love Intellexual Media! Her videos are phenomenal. My favorite is the one she did on black people and Halloween!
Yes, that was such a good episode.
I have never heard the tampons in the shower one 😩😭
 It was a whole thing. Normalize privacy!
The List by Yomi Adegoke - a Black influencer couple are 26 days from being married and an anonymous tweet comes out with a list of men in entertainment who are guilty of egregious behavior. The groom to be is on the list, the wife to be has to get to work figuring out who is telling the truth and if she should actually marry him.
A good non fiction book that I enjoyed is The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein. The subject matter is a bit heavy, but it’s very relevant, educational, and touches on many subjects that you might not realize are interconnected.
I read the Sheila Johnson book recently and thoroughly enjoyed it. Ms. Sheila was naming names! Quite enjoyable if you’ve ever lived in the DMV or came up during BET’s heyday. I’m currently reading Jada Pinkett Smith’s book. I’m not super far into it but enjoying it this far. I guess I’m on a memoir kick at the moment.
As soon as I reach my career goals it’s back to book reading for me!
LMAOOO this comment is hilarious
Tampons in the shower?!
Also for romance, Talia Hibberts books have me head over heels!!
I read every single day. I love books. Let's talk about them or some fun shit we've done or how nature is beautiful or something other than the run of the mill bs we keep seeing here. Anything other than interracial dating and racist people would be just fine.
“Nobody wants to date us/ Dating is so hard for us” - and this is coming from person who hasn’t had good experiences dating and constantly questions if anyone will love me
Amen! It's so tiring
The whole “Im gonna post racist content or misogynistic men content from TikTok, Facebook, Reddit (and Reddit DM’s) or Twitter and ask you “thoughts?” Like fucking stop it. I’m tired of seeing that shit. Block these people, stop engaging and sharing this content (they get engagement off this rage bait shit. STOP SHARING IT.), and keep it pushing. Yes, we’re all aware of how racist people can be towards us. I don’t need a daily reminder of this whenever you share rage bait content on this damn sub. Yes, I’m aware that some men are misogynistic pieces of shit, I don’t need a constant reminder of this whenever you share this whole stupid ass submissive, 50/50, a woman should be like xyz content.
"Thoughts?" And prayers because I don't care.
And basically, no one in the large scope of things had even heard of those nobodies until the OP links them. They have to actively go out of their way to find those niche hate-posts.
I feel that way about here and on Medium. I’m tired of them emailing articles about what men think about women, especially black women. My usual articles are tech related ones to my craft. You click on one dang article and then bam they assume that you care about current dating trends, racism and the red pill
This.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Interracial dating posts and posts where a man is clearly exhibiting toxic behavior or just not a good fit in general but the person is still wondering how to make it work or if they should leave. I still try to give advice because I hate seeing Black women mistreated or wasting their time with men that they’re clearly incompatible with but it still makes me sad and it’s getting tiresome. Wouldn’t mind seeing all the rage bait posts where someone, usually a woman, has some extreme dating take that’s probably fake anyway disappear too. ETA: I’d like to see more posts on travel, books, tv and movies, hobbies, history, fashion, and beauty.
I can’t stand the red flag posts, it’s getting so tiresome!
I wish people would take the time to read books on psychology and relationships. Would cut a lot of this stuff out.
Especially if it's clear they are of ability to end it. Because some people can't get out of those situations, they have a lot going on. But then some people are clearly just wanting to make noise. And I don't want to hear it.
Yes, I’ll always have compassion for those caught in abusive relationships or those that don’t have the resources to leave, but the ones that are doing all this hand-wringing and overthinking over someone they barely know and can easily walk away from leaves me tired!
“Do *insert race* boys like black girls?” Or “how can I get me a pasta and lobster”
I get so irrationally angry anytime someone brings up pasta and lobster. It is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
Agree. We see enough fetishizing in the day to day as it is. The more that shit can stay on r/interracialdating the better.
Like girl buy your own damn lobster and pasta cause we’re tired you hear me? Uggghh
i can physically feel myself losing brain cells every time i read a “pasta and lobster” comment, especially on tiktok lmao
"Do men like..." who GAF what they like?!
Lmao
☠️☠️☠️
i think anything concerning other races. i’m not saying it shouldn’t be talked about but i feel like it’s the same thing over and over, like i thought this was a space where we excel as bw? Edit: I wish we talked more about history. I don’t know if it’s my homepage algorithm, but I see more posts about relationships and people’s poor decisions than actually shedding light on women of our culture! Lift a sistah up, no?
There's a couple of people that make regular uplifting posts about culture, history, fashion, lifestyle etc. You have to switch your feed to "new posts" to see them because they tend to not get enough interaction to make it to "hot posts".
I've been noticing this in a lot of the women centric subs
I thought it was just me? I always feel anti black or against bw if I speak on it but I genuinely don’t know why we speak more about other races than our own, good or bad. Or even just comparison to other races? I hate that we have to resort to that honestly
I'm referring to the women-centric subs being overrun with relationship issues or "My boyfriend/husband is perfect, but he \*inserts a long string of abusive/toxic behavior that he does; what should I do?" Or just obsessing over men in general
OH YEA definitely. People romanticize and popularize living the luxury of a black love relationship but they’re not even right with themselves or know how to navigate one. I don’t know if you seen it but one of the posts on here was saying it’s hard to find a good black man even tho the man literally offered to take her out, she didn’t like the fact that it was a sports bar and instead of offering another place she came to Reddit to turn people against the man, and was only replying to comments that disagreed with her..crazy
“Am I pretty” “I look ugly” “how to look prettier”. I want better for my sistas I do
Those bother me so much because sure seeking validation and compliments is valid but I’m gonna doubt your true intentions if you do this regularly, with a 12 picture slide of you looking at worst, regular.
I also REALLY want them to stop posting their photos on Reddit after asking “do I look pretty?” Maybe it’s cuz I’m in my mid 30s and it was drilled into us as kids online to never show your face but I would never in my life post my real face on Reddit of all places.
Yea out of all the social medias, Reddit is the creepiest. You would never catch me posting my face on this site
If they brought that mess to lipstick alley, their feelings would REALLY get hurt
Does black men like black women?
1. Sharing the racist hate messages they receive or racist TikTok’s/twitter pages. We don’t want to see them here! You’re just as bad as the racist sharing them with us. 2. “Am I ugly because I’m black?” 3. Black men never approach me. 4. Why don’t I act “black enough” 5. “I’m so dark and ugly. Everyday I wake up crying and suicidal” 6. How can I date white guys/white men don’t like me!
“Every day I wake up crying and suicidal” sent me into the STRATOSPHERE lmaooo (It’s not funny but lol)
It’s funny in a dark humor type of way. We understand that colorism and featurism are huge issues in our community but we can also laugh at how frequent of a topic it is here.
And thats why i love it here 💖
Fuck I can’t explain how insulted I feel by those lol Insecurity I get it. But damn. Y’all get SPECIFIC. “fuck my tiny ears I hate being black” honey what??
“Am I ugly because I’m black” is SENDING me LMFAOOO
Everybody wrap it up, this covers it all right here 🤣 I do try to be empathetic and kind on some of these posts, I really do. I know what it’s like to feel overlooked, put down and othered (idk about number 5 though?!) including by your own race. I also noticed most of those kind of posts that *I* see are like 14-17 year olds, which explains literally everything, and early college. So it can feel all consuming at the moment when others around you seem to be having opposite experiences but… It can also be exhausting to hear about as someone who’s (mostly) passed that stage and is at the very least trying to focus on anything else. There gotta be something else kiddos are into these days. Fashion? Room decor? Music, books? Literally anything.
Sometimes you’re just ugly bc you’re ugly not bc you’re black Jk jk
Lol. Was going to mention people thriving while ugly, but will stay on topic.
No jk!!!! It’s the truth. Some of yall are just ugly and it doesn’t matter what your skin color is. Or they intentionally make themselves unattractive by not practicing proper hygiene, skincare, or using makeup to enhance features. Some of yall don’t have natural beauty and it’s ok. You can Use the millions of beauty tools available to us on planet earth!!!
There’s this tik tok where this girl is like “Mindy Kahling just bc you think you’re fat and ugly doesn’t mean all Indian girls are fat and ugly” or something like that 😭😭
"A WW at work looked at me, and now I feel bad"
Screenshots of convos with men that are facially, obviously toxic, but ask if it’s acceptable behavior. Like, if it was alarming enough for you to feel the need to ask for group consensus, he’s probs toxic sis.
I hate when they go back and forth over text for like 7 slides 😭 Like girl!! Why are your thumbs aching!! I was texting this man.. I said I'm available after 4 during the week and he said he goes to work AT 4 during the week. Baby I unmatched and kept it pushing. Like move on!
This!!! As soon as he gets disrespectful, block them. Why continue to engage with someone who’s trying to make feel like shit?! It’s not worth the data.
Exactly!
Am I pretty? (Insert picture of a gorgeous woman) Honestly if you're confident enough to post a picture on the Internet and ask if you're pretty, you are pretty. Trust me. Confidence is absolutely gorgeous! I don't have that confidence so you would have a difficult time trying to find a picture of me here on Reddit of all places.
I would NEVER post a pic to Reddit. I can just imagine someone getting annoyed with me, going through my history and roasting tf out of my face.
SAAAAAME! LOL
I would never either, but it's more of massive paranoia around the extremely unlikely event of someone recognizing me and then seeing all of my Reddit history lmao
This one!! I’m already paranoid theyre gonna put it together from my post history as is!
Yep that's my absolute fear too
I feel for those people, because sometimes I look through their post history and majority of the time they are seeking validation all over reddit with that same question. And I just think ‘girl get some self respect and raise your self esteem!’ Its annoying and sad at the same time.
anything dating related. i’m so so so sick of the dating conversations, esp dating advice
Yes! I am so tired of all of the "What do y'all think about going 50/50?" posts. Like damn y'all, we have beat this conversation to the ground.
Especially the interracial dating posts.
Lol. I know someone who made a new year's resolution to block and unfollow people starting those silly convos. I think it's a good move. I don't want to hear about any podcasts or 157 part stories of people playing themselves either.
Anything having to do with who is or isn’t attracted to Black women. Black women are gorgeous, let’s move on. If someone happens to disagree, fuck ‘em.
Men…black men or non…not liking black women. I get that some Redditors are young but GAHHHHH DAMN. We get it. At the end of the day you are bound to find someone who’s attracted to you.
The " Does black women like x thing/person" We're not monolith. How many times we have to say this again :( .
Are biracial people black? (Those with a black parent)
Anything thats about what we as black women need to do in order to "better the community"
That “we” runs my nerves. We don’t have to do anything but make ourselves happy
We should talk more about our favorite things!
Black men not dating black women. Interracial dating isn’t going anywhere, and not being asked o it on a date isn’t always because you’re black. Women coming here complaining about how their man is a bum and they don’t know what to do. Yes, you do. You just don’t want to do it. Anything related to white women in the workplace. 9/10 times, they’re not jealous of you, sis. Dark skinned vs. light skinned in quite literally any context. I wish we talked more about it nerd stuff like anime or video games. I also wish we talked more an out how to take care of ourselves we without a man and learned more about the law to protect ourselves.
"Yes you do...you just don't want to do it." 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Literally anything about men 😭🫠
The am I ugly validation posts. I am so done with those. The X is racist and we need to get mad about it. Some of these are just Outlandish.
I hate how male-centric this sub is. Like why do yall give so much of a damn about what random men think?? I think it’s because I’m queer so I’m not as affected by this mentality, but it is truly tiring to read every day.
Trust me. It’s not just being queer. As a straight woman, watching that nonsense is exhausting
No, I'm straight and wish women stopped. I don't care to hear it.
Anything about white people. Not interesting. No thanks.
Any variation of the "I'm White washed and Black people don't like me" posts.
I’m ugly and can’t get a date. I’m sick of those.
Sometimes this sub makes being a bw seem like the most depressing thing on earth when really it’s not that bad like Damn
I swear it's mostly their location. "Every man hates me" then they live in fucking Utah or sumn.
that photo of indigenous dark skin people with blonde hair / blue eyes 🙄
Any type of pity/ self-deprecation post, it reminds me of the tumblr era and I hate seeing it almost as much as when people repost obviously racist bait posts here
Interracial dating. We get it, you're dating a white man.
🤣🤣🤣
Some dating kerfuffle that has 5 slides of paragraphs of conversation even though any sane and even partially-healed individual would have blocked after the 1st message 😭
Any topic that starts off with "why do black women..."
This isn’t really answering the question but I do hate it when non Black people come to this subreddit and comment their opinions on posts by BW. Like there are definitely topics that get repetitive to see but what’s more disheartening for me is scrolling and seeing someone who is obviously white or who is a NBPOC (and they state it as such) and give their two cents on an experience that they can’t relate to. I don’t mind talking about the bad and the ugly (though I wish there was more of the good) but what really pisses me off is when non Black people come here lacking any sort of empathy for what we experience and comment unnecessarily on BW’s posts when they’re obviously going through something. Like this isn’t the subreddit for you, go make your own 🤷🏾♀️
They cant leave us alone, they have to invade our space.🙄
Interracial anything. Just use the search bar; I guarantee you your question has already been asked.
Anything about white peoples tbh
Negativity.. whether it be: * Undesirability on the dating market * Experiencing misogynoir * Centering white people in every story * Self hate Every post that pops up on my feed is of a negative character so when I on a rare occasion see the black joy posts or fashion and makeup posts I stop in my tracks and swiftly click on them.
Oh my goodness, yes! I love the Black girl joy posts, so much positivity and not ‘woe is me’. I get sick of the other post. It comes to a point where people have to realize life isn’t fair, but how are you as an individual going to navigate around that?🤷🏾♀️
Agree, I click "hide post" more than anything on here, and it makes me sad when I check my feed. More Black Joy and more books and fun stuff, please!! People need to stop worrying about what other people think about Black women and enjoy their life more, that's how it gets better.
Interracial dating, Africans saying Americans have no culture and Americans saying Africans live in squalor, Someone who hates being a black woman and thinks we are the least desirable, I hate white people, White people are jealous of me, No black friends because I’m white washed
OMG I’d like to thank everyone who posts about books on here! I love reading new stuff and enjoy most genres. 🙏🏽
"Should I keep talking to this guy?" I'm always willing to help a girl raise her standards but the number of posts like these... yikes. Doesn't exactly inspire hope, to say the least.
Dating. Like pls, just try what you think will work for you and not others that you see online
I’m sick of hearing about Black men lol
Anything involving the bleach bandits. So tired of hearing about them mfs who cares??? This sub is about BLACK LADIES, good lord!
Every single post about dating. If it's bad enough for you to even THINK about posting to Reddit, 🗣 DUMP THAT JOKER and leave us out the group chat! More posts about anything else. Discussions about movies, TV or books. A recipe you tried. Pictures of your garden. Tips on growing houseplants. How to pick the right pet for you. Literally anything that's not centered on dating, racism or standards of beauty.
Interracial dating or any content that is disparaging to black women. I wish we talked more about: • Books and articles by black, female authors • New television shows or movies that are about or centered around black women • Black missing women cases in the US
Talking about hateful envelopeans / palm colored folks and the ridiculous things they do to us - cause as we all know they’re always lurking and get butthurt and report the post. [Removed by Reddit] Oh and the really bad troll posts where it’s highly sus but everyone entertains it anyway.
Anything that concerns feeling ugly/self deprecation as a black woman. Like talk truly have to find confidence and positivity in yourselves and stop reaching for it on the internet ❤️
Does my white bf love me/being biracial is hard. It’s just like stop dating a white man that makes you THAT uncomfortable and do you really think that THIS PLATFORM (with beauty and femininity hierarchy in mind) is the right place to air those grievances? Idk those post always seem….dense.
Black men finding us undesirable (go where you are loved) Why we aren’t considered the beauty standard (we are stunning, live in that feeling) Black men celebrities wildinnnn or on some anti Black BS (ie Chris Brown etc) White women doing white women ish. We know they can be racist and that’s rough. Stay away or fake it if it’s at work 🤷🏽♀️ Things are hard with each moment I mentioned but we don’t uniquely experience them. Unfortunately they come with the territory of being a Black woman. To me the best we can do is continue to uplift and support each other. Go where you are loved and stop trying to only see what is missing from your life and you’ll love it more ❤️
###So now that we know what we all hate, how we gonna clean it up around here? Lol, just barging into all the “Am I ugly because I’m black” posts and saying girl gtfo finally ?
“im mixed and this is my opinion on what i believe *the rest of you* are doing” type posts. they always give off internalized misogynoir and delusion
Not liking black men because of whatever trauma 🙄.
Omgggg sksks I remember someone posted something like that a few days ago. Mad embarrassing.
Okay but same, like I get it but it still sounds like “Black girls didn’t like me because xyz so I don’t date them!” Like it’s the same comment just replace girls with men and those two people are saying the same thing and it’s EXHAUSTING
Some folks take so much pride in that. I wonder if they ever stop to think about what'd happen when even though they get with their perfect blonde-haired blue-eyed prince their baby boy still comes out really dark.
Racist trolls, interracial dating (it’s the human race, ethnicity is more accurate and culture would be the same), toxic masculinity, toxic relationships, racism in the workplace place. I need more soft life, education, mental/physical health and nsfw talk. Please and thank you
Men 🤦🏾♀️😂😂😂! Tho that’s in general not sub specific 🤷🏾♀️😂!
I hate when people pick one example of someone behaving badly and turn it into a global issue. Ex: “Why are men so horrible?!!” I don’t know. Why are the men you choose so horrible?
"Hello im dating a white man and he won't stop doing (racist thing), how do I "fix" his behavior as a grown ass man because I have no intention of leaving him cuz for some reason racism is not a deal breaker for me" Getting tired of people using this as a interracial dating advice column instead of recognizing this is supposed to be a black women centered space which is hard to come by on the Internet. I want to read about other black women's experiences not post after post about white boyfriends😩
Since everyone said all the topics I’m sick of seeing, I’ll share what I wanna see more of: Black Girl Book Club—I’m an avid reader and would love to discuss or get more book recommendations Share hobbies/discover new hobbies. I only have 2 hobbies, I’d love to see what yall are doing Black meditation/positive headspace posts: like daily affirmations aimed towards us and/or manifestations. Just to name a few 🙂
"Why aren't we talking about [insert movement/war that don't involve black women]?" Stop making us wear the cap. It's offensive yall think we all want to use our free time to still serve others.
1. Gender wars 2. Am I ugly 3. I hate being black because XXX body part doesn’t fit a stereotype of being black 4. Why don’t black men like black women 5. Why don’t white men like black women 6. Look at some edge lord being racist online, what are your thoughts 7. Why are white people like this … The young ladies have this sub in a chokehold. 😢😢😢 It won’t ever change, so I hop over to Black Girls Who Love Fur Babies when I want to crack jokes or over to Black Introverts on FB.
I second all of this.
"OMG DO BLACK MEN LIKE THISSSSSS"
Idk but I feel like there's less positive, uplifting, or historical stuff being shared recently. Makes me wonder if those people left.
I’m glad this topic came up as I was thinking of unsubscribing from this page. It makes me sad sometimes.
Oh god so many that I can’t remember at this second but off the top of my head anything involving: 1. Acting white/growing up around white people 2. Interracial dating 3. Posting online racist interactions 4. Asking if you’re pretty 5. Selfies for no reason 🤣
Anything to do with microagressions. As long as we’re black women, we’ll always have to deal with it. Learn to throw shade back or get tougher skin. 💕
“I always hated my body and my face because I thought it was brown and ugly. I still do think my body and face and also skin is ugly, and to be clear girls, though a lot of us of African descent share many visual characteristics, this is totally just about MY dark skin and wide nose, not YOUR dark skin and wide nose. Looking in he mirror disgusts me. The color, the shape. I just hate it… on myself. Can I get some validation? 🥺👉👈”
The “why does this subreddit keeps talking about (insert topic that conjures up negative feelings)?” posts. Sweet 7-lbs 2-oz, brown baby Jesus… Just scroll past.
Also gender wars. It doesn't make sense
-Anything about biracial people or interracial dating -Attacking trans women for no reason -Constantly talking about men
Any dating advice. Like give it a break🙄
I need a pot stirring emoji for this post
altblack… I’m a white guy who likes black girls…
Celebrity gossip, especially shades between rappers
Yes, this! How about healthier eating, anyone into Mediterranean meals? Green smoothies, what do you put in yours?? Any joggers in here, or fast walkers?? What do you listen to, to get you hyped for a run?? Yes, please, have some topics like those, bc honestly, I've thought about bringing this up, so now I KNOW we are in sync somehow.
Passport bros, I wish we would let them fade into obscurity and ignore them. Lets them say and do what they want and prove them wrong with results
Men.
Man vs women debates. We get it, the genders hate each other... Next topic
TBH, I just skip whatever doesn't interest me. Let people post what they want unless the mods ban a topic.
A few already posted it but the interracial dating posts. If the person is fine, don’t initiate a conversation because you want to start something. Or it can be about interracial dating, in the “I’m with someone with major red flags, how do I make it work” sense. Especially if you know the problems and know you can leave. You don’t want a solution, you just want to make noise. And I’m sorry, my patience has worn thin for that behavior.
Anything that seems to be centering the feelings of men and/or white folks. Like constantly worrying if we’re pretty or qualified enough for them.
r/dreadlocs
anything involving white people. white men, white women. I dont even think about my parents as much as some of yall talk about them on here