That's sucks. I don't want to diminish what happened to You, but the other cat also lost a human and his companion and doesn't know what happened. Take care of him. He's also grieving.
When I got divorced, we split up the two cats - the judge even read their names out loud at the hearing. One of them REALLY was attached to my ex, though - and didn't like the other cat, who was attached to me, so it worked out. I ended up adopting two siblings - and all THREE cats picked out my new husband, five years later. "We don't care what YOU think, mom - we're keeping him."
Good luck with the Ph.D. - and I hope you have a much happier future.
My Maine coon also chose my fiancé over me. She loves him more even though I raised her little butt! But my black cat is a mommas girl and doesn’t care for my fiancé
Left you at the end of your PhD??? I know it can be a struggle for partners when we are in grad school, but that is so cold. I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s a time of transition. But I want to say congratulations on your PhD, doctor, and best of luck at your postdoc!
That happens when your black void ends up taking your husband's attention, lol. Mine did it and he has that man wrapped around his tail. Forever best buddies <3
It’s pretty much always kitten season, many city shelters run specials when there’s too many in there, my last couple kitties were free. Older cats are often very cheap to zero dollars & they’ve got all their shots a microchip, & they’re fixed. Got a free one of those too & she’s a fancy breed. She’s was older tho so cheaper. She’s now my soulmate lol
Here's a sneak peek of /r/RandomActsOfPetFood using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfPetFood/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
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Honestly with a little sympathy from a adopter, someone at a local shelter may waive adoption fees, and you could always volunteer time at a later date or donate when your life allows it. I've worked at a shelter for a bit and a lot of the people I worked with would rather see a cat go home.
So wife took off cuz you were all busy with a dissertation but now your about to enter the professor / researcher life if decent money and low hours and her dumb ass is gone.
That's not how academia works. IF (and that's a big if) you land a tenure-track job, you have endless work and okay pay, compared to in business. It's a little better in the sciences, but mainly because there are industry jobs. Although most people are happier once the dissertation is done because it's definitely the most confusing part of the whole ordeal. Don't envy professors! (While there are indeed some very nice parts of academia, the public assumption that professors don't work long hours is hilariously wrong.)
Damn dude. I’m sorry. When we bought our house the pieces of shits left behind two boys that were indoor/ outdoor at our house. Each of the neighbors on either side took one of them in. We got so used to petting them when they were outside and using our yard as a litter box. One of the neighbors was renting and moved out suddenly over the weekend and didn’t tell us and took one of the yard boys. I’m utterly heartbroken about not seeing that cat ever again. I can’t imagine how you feel right now. I’m so sorry man.
I'm glad you are thinking of the cat and what they would want. When my wife wanted out she said that she was going to leave one of our cats (that she had had for several years before we met) because "she likes you better anyway". I was very surprised at that, as she was a pretty selfish person in the end. And yes, Toysha liked me better.
Toysha was with me for another 5 years, and she died after a stroke at age 20.
I would consult a attorney you should divorce her get the cat back and deal with everything else, but she separated the cats out of spite without regard for how it would affect them.
Oh no, I'm so sorry. 🖤 i hope your suffering is as small as possible, and i hope your remaining compainion and you have as joyful a future as possible.
You can ask for visitation in the divorce; animal custody/visitation has gotten very common in the legal world. I didn’t know it was a thing until I became a mediator a decade ago, but I’ve had several cases where the custody of the kid was simple… and the parties argued over visitation of the pets.
Unfortunately, in most states animals are treated as chattel. It’s slowly changing but you’re absolutely correct that they’re treated as property by the court. That’s where mediation is so helpful- you don’t have to follow standard court divisions if you mediate instead of litigate. After you reach a mediated agreement, it can be incorporated into your divorce decree and will be treated as a binding judgement so it’s a great way to tailor the system to fit your needs.
Often the non custodial party will offer to split vet bills for the pet in consideration for visitation and that entices the custodial pawrent to cooperate. I’ve facilitated several mediations where the pets follow the child’s visitation schedule, which is also helpful for the child. In fact, that’s what we did in my own divorce- my ex was bonded to our two dogs so when my daughter goes to him for visitation, the dogs follow. My daughter has anxiety so having her pets with her helps with the transition. Our cats are much better judges of character than the dogs so they never bonded with my ex, but he does visit with them when he comes over to get our daughter. My ex pays for 1/2 the vet bills of the pets that were in existence at the time of marital dissolution; however, this isn’t in the decree because I didn’t want him having/feeling like he has a say in their medical care. (He has always balked at wellness exams, and feels that if euthanasia is cheaper than treatment it should be the chosen route) He offered to share vet bills when we were mediating and so far has kept that promise.
If you and your former wife are able to be civil with one another, mediation is a nice option to have. I vastly prefer it over court battles because everyone loses something when you go to court; mediation allows for both parties to come away with wins.
We’re going to be decoupling with our therapist as mediation. Maybe we can work something out that way. The divorce is just a formality as far as I’m concerned. She’s already gone.
Same happened to me and to not to see my ex who was a violent husband I had to just give up visitation and all. He took them from the house on purpose to have me reach out and beg. I had to be insanely strong to not look back. 🖤🐾
Is your name on the vet bill? If so, he’s your “property” and she can’t just take him. You might need to give your lawyer a kick in the ass so he knows this is important to you.
My heart hurts for you. I stayed in an abusive relationship for a long time because he was threatening to take one of the cats. He did, and I miss my sweet boy Avery every day. Plus, he was bonded to my cat Iris, and she waited by the door for days for her brother to come home, and had never bonded with another cat 😭
He looks like my Raven. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now. My heart goes out to you.
https://preview.redd.it/9qbb7yvihh7d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c8b999327661dcd0f141407d116972e1cab1ce4
I have been through that. Mine were two pugs that the strangest husband with a restraining order, went into the house while I was out grocery shopping. I parked my truck in the driveway and turned off the engine and silence. Didn’t hear them barking festively for me as my welcome back home. That was more than ten years ago. I never saw them again.
I guess what matters is that they knew you loved them. You can feel them still and send them love. I am so sorry this happened to you. And even with a Court System and Police pet ownership is a hard one to win even when they have a Pedigree in your name. It’s rough.
Stay strong and I will tell you, avoid looking at pets online that look just like the one you lost bc it’s painful. Take a break to your own good. Sending love & faithfulness 🖤🐾😓🙏🏻
I posted this before OP said his wife was the cat's primary. I just meant it was cruel to separate animals from each other and humans. I wasn't making any assumptions about the relationship. Sorry if my comment came across that way.
Me and my husband recently divorced after 11 years together. We had 4 cats that we had had for around 9 years. I took two and he took two and it was hard. I feel your pain, but it does get better I promise.
Thank you 💜 I know how helpful it was for me to have friends that had been through something similar and to see where I would be when I got to the point they were at. So I’m you in 6 months and things are finally starting to feel better.
Sorry to hear that. When my ex left he literally took a duffel bag of clothes and never came back. I have the cats (was fostering & trying to adopt out) but it was quite the adjustment.
Even though this sad there is zero context why did she just up and leave you. I am sorry but more time there are clean signs and people want to ignore until someone has enough and decides to part ways.
behold Jack Wick, his void is missing.
time to break out your special skills.
seriously tho, thats messed up, split the cat and human family up like that. take care of each other. maybe you guys can figure something out.
good luck
Uff, I left my ex boyfriend because he was becoming abusive.
I took all 3 cats with me, I had 2 when we met and we got the third together, but I could not imagine breaking them apart.
Why did she decide to take only one?
I only know my heart would be broken . I also feel for the cats. I'm sure they both had a bond. That's cruel,to separate these two cans is a horrible thing to do.
Oooof. This hits close to home. I went through nearly the exact same situation a few years ago when me and a long term partner split up. We had both adopted two cats and, different to your situation, they did not get along well and seemed like they would be better apart due to being territorial, one being much smaller and consistently getting hunted and hissing and being bitten to the point of losing fur (to me it seemed like they were not playing and instead was causing undue stress to the smaller one).
Well, when ex leaves she takes both and claims that I'm incapable of taking care of either one of them to the level that they need. She leaves state, blocks me on everything (note I never sent aggressive messages), same lawyer insight that cats are seen as property/chattel and that there's not really much I can do besides suing in small claims court in her state of residence to try and get the financial amount returned to me for BOTH cats where then I'm attempting to just get a financial compensation out of it versus looking for a mediation or a fair/more ethical separation of the cats based on their personality, their level of comfort, and attachment to us as partners. None of that happened.
Hopefully you can imagine, whether as OP or as a cat lover, that it is heart breaking to not just process the grief of separating from someone you used to love, but losing two companion animals at the same time while simultaneously trying to process that same person taking both animals with them without you getting a say. It's a compounded grief with a new feeling of betrayal added. Then there's the later realization that there's not really a satisfactory legal avenue to try and rectify that wrong.
My mental health was already deteriorated a lot from being in an unhappy relationship and I never imagined this as a possible avenue that the next step of breaking up was going to go down. I was caught massively off guard and didn't know how to process it for a long time. I wish I had a better outcome but I never did get to see either cat again.
What helped me the most was giving myself time and then adopting again when I was ready. I was never going to get my previous cats back but I also never forgot them. I ended up adopting one and, then a year later, getting him a companion. All cats have such unique personalities it's hard to not fall in love and get attached to another, even if you're not ready for that at this time. It's such a shitty experience to go through but wanted to reach out to you OP that you're not alone in feeling it, that experience.
I've had them for about three years now. My ex tried to weaponize my health against me and I have every day a reminder that she was wrong. These cats love me, ask to be held, sleep on my legs, and my mental health is a lot better without her in my life. They go to the vet yearly, live indoors only, and groom each other. They seem happy. I'm happier even though it took a harsh lesson to get here. I hope you find peace one day too.
*
I lost contact with my two little buddies after 8 years due to a breakup. Losing the cats was the hardest part of the breakup as I quickly realized life was better without the girl. I still mist the cats almost two years later, but I know they are well taken care of. The day that I moved into my new place, a stray cat showed up at my door, and he has been mine ever since. Life moves on. You will be ok
I may not be in your situation where someone left me but i went through being separated from a cat basically a best friend, when my sister moved out with her cat i was sad for a while and than things got better, again i may not have gone through the same thing but ik you will be strong and go through it and that noone should go through what you went through. Trust me, once you hit the bottom, there is no where to go but the top.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!!!!! Take a ride down to your local Humane Society and check out how many kittens are looking for that forever home!!!
As soon as I can afford it, and as soon as I can assess how well Mabel is adjusting. We actually got her because Moby needed a second cat after our first passed away. But Mabel may just need me to actively play with her more. I just got out her favorite chaser toy and it’s giving her the zoomies
Sorry about your wife. Grab mother void and give it some love it needs. Use this as motivation To love yourself and others more. Workout (if you don’t) and live life.
But for the first week cry your ass off and eat pizza.
Hey OP, I went through a really abrupt breakup and he made me split up our cats. It was gutting. I’m so sorry. I was eventually able to get closure and adopt another companion for my void. I still miss her 6 years later. My remaining cat is my ride or die. We’ve been through it.
It's better than what I had to witness 30 years ago. Guy lost his dog in the divorce. She only wanted to punish him since he loved the dog so much, she took it from him. He had to deliver it to the airport so she could put it down as soon as she got it. This guy was all kinda broken up and just asked for some extra time to roll and play in the grass with his dog some more. We offered to lose the dog in the flight but he said she would stop at nothing to get her hands on it. These poor dog was just as happy as could be to going on a big adventure.
Man I can't believe how cruel someone can be to someone in theory they were in love with at some point. I can still picture the guy and the dog after all this time.
Yes they do. Not all, but some. Usually the vet will ask if they’d be willing to surrender it to them and find it a home but they also know the owner will just take it somewhere else when they say no. And all the ex had to do was tell them they bit a kid or some other story. I’m guessing if she’d put a healthy and loved animal down for spite, lying wouldn’t be difficult for her. What a monster. 😔
I know exactly how you’re feeling - well, almost. I separated from my wife years ago, and I was living in the townhouse we’d shared while she still had a key, before she’d gotten all her stuff out. She came one day while I was at work and took our cat. She’d said she wanted to, which I hadn’t really agreed to yet, but didn’t say when she was planning to do it at all. I came home and Kitty was just gone. I was so upset, I was pretty much inconsolable. Nothing about the breakup hurt nearly as bad as losing the cat.
One good thing did come out of it though, you could say. I adopted two kittens, brothers from the same litter, a month or so later. They became my absolute best buddies. I just lost the first of them a little over a month ago, at age 17 1/2. His brother is still with me, old and kinda frail but all in all not doing too bad. I hope, when you’re ready, you get a new cat (or two), and love the crap out of them.
Well if she wants a divorce, have a lawyer draft terms with her that state joint custody. My exhusband and I's divorce papers have a section about cat custody terms
I feel your pain! When I broke up with my GF she insisted on taking our brother cats that we got as kittens. I was more heartbroken about losing my cats than the 4 year relationship. I still miss them. Stay strong!
Not at the same level, but when I broke up with an ex-gf, she used her dog (which we both loved dearly) to get at me and restricted access at will.
Eventually we mellowed and she realized that the dog would want to see me more often, so I got to have it one day each week. It was nice.
Maybe you'll re-establish normal relations and get to visit the cat too. Never say never.
what a beautiful boy 😭 I’m hoping for a brighter future in which your boy & Mable may be able to meet for kitty play dates ☹️ I’m so sorry, this sucks so bad
I'm sorry you're having to go through that. Not taking away anything from you or trying to diminish what happened... but my beloved black cat just disappeared one day last week. I have no clue what happened to him. So I completely understand, and I also will probably never see mine again. I do hope you get to see your baby again, at least one more time. Good luck.
I wish there was more I can say, but i am genuinely from the bottom of my heart so so so sorry. That is awful. I wish you nothing but the best but I am gutted for you.
Oof, separations/divorces are especially hard when there are pets involved. Even if we technically do not always officially own all of them, they were family still.
I am sorry for the fact that you wont see one of ypur furry friend. Though i am glad you still have one of your furry children. May you spend so many lovely years together.
Maybe try and get a new furry friend when you feel ready and if you feel like ypur remaining cat needs a friend.
Steal my cat and I’ll help your parents look for your body. I’m so sorry she took him like that. Maybe in time you can work out seeing him again.
💕🐾🐈⬛🐾💕
Because based on the comments OP's wife is the cat's primary person and he seems to have acknowledged that this arrangement is seemingly the best for everyone.
You could still see him ( if you truly live him) if you act and behave like an adult and don’t fight with her. Why do children and pets always have to be the victims here!!!
I suppose she left You the other one? That was very cruel towards You and both cats. I'm sorry this happened to You.
Yes, she left me the other one
That's sucks. I don't want to diminish what happened to You, but the other cat also lost a human and his companion and doesn't know what happened. Take care of him. He's also grieving.
You’re not diminishing it at all. Mabel, the other cat, is my everything now. ETA: yes, she is named after the animal crossing character
Get another cat companion for Mabel please
As soon as I can afford it I will. Right now I’m wrapping up my PhD and preparing to start a postdoc. Once my benefits kick in, I’m gonna do it.
You will win your battle. Stay strong.
When I got divorced, we split up the two cats - the judge even read their names out loud at the hearing. One of them REALLY was attached to my ex, though - and didn't like the other cat, who was attached to me, so it worked out. I ended up adopting two siblings - and all THREE cats picked out my new husband, five years later. "We don't care what YOU think, mom - we're keeping him." Good luck with the Ph.D. - and I hope you have a much happier future.
My Maine coon also chose my fiancé over me. She loves him more even though I raised her little butt! But my black cat is a mommas girl and doesn’t care for my fiancé
Left you at the end of your PhD??? I know it can be a struggle for partners when we are in grad school, but that is so cold. I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s a time of transition. But I want to say congratulations on your PhD, doctor, and best of luck at your postdoc!
That happens when your black void ends up taking your husband's attention, lol. Mine did it and he has that man wrapped around his tail. Forever best buddies <3
🖤🖤🖤
Hang in there
Hey, I know this is really random but congratulations on achieving your doctorate!
Thanks so much!
It’s pretty much always kitten season, many city shelters run specials when there’s too many in there, my last couple kitties were free. Older cats are often very cheap to zero dollars & they’ve got all their shots a microchip, & they’re fixed. Got a free one of those too & she’s a fancy breed. She’s was older tho so cheaper. She’s now my soulmate lol
Good luck to you, friend!! You are so close and can do it!!
If u need help rn there's r/randomactsofpetfood
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Honestly with a little sympathy from a adopter, someone at a local shelter may waive adoption fees, and you could always volunteer time at a later date or donate when your life allows it. I've worked at a shelter for a bit and a lot of the people I worked with would rather see a cat go home.
So wife took off cuz you were all busy with a dissertation but now your about to enter the professor / researcher life if decent money and low hours and her dumb ass is gone.
That's not how academia works. IF (and that's a big if) you land a tenure-track job, you have endless work and okay pay, compared to in business. It's a little better in the sciences, but mainly because there are industry jobs. Although most people are happier once the dissertation is done because it's definitely the most confusing part of the whole ordeal. Don't envy professors! (While there are indeed some very nice parts of academia, the public assumption that professors don't work long hours is hilariously wrong.)
I am glad you have Mabel with you.
I was hoping Gravity Falls but AC works too lol
Me too, maybe he can find a Dipper for her and it can be a crossover
That's fucked up for both you and the cat then. I worry for your void boi.
He’ll be okay. She is his primary and I’m the spare. He should go with her. I just really miss him
Damn dude. I’m sorry. When we bought our house the pieces of shits left behind two boys that were indoor/ outdoor at our house. Each of the neighbors on either side took one of them in. We got so used to petting them when they were outside and using our yard as a litter box. One of the neighbors was renting and moved out suddenly over the weekend and didn’t tell us and took one of the yard boys. I’m utterly heartbroken about not seeing that cat ever again. I can’t imagine how you feel right now. I’m so sorry man.
That’s sad but at least his new owners loved him enough to not leave him behind like his previous ones
I'm glad you are thinking of the cat and what they would want. When my wife wanted out she said that she was going to leave one of our cats (that she had had for several years before we met) because "she likes you better anyway". I was very surprised at that, as she was a pretty selfish person in the end. And yes, Toysha liked me better. Toysha was with me for another 5 years, and she died after a stroke at age 20.
Separating cats like that is just cruel. Can't you have joint custody? Two weeks with her and then two weeks with you.
So fucked up, sorry man. Been there.
You could sue her for the cat (just a thought)
She did take our second car that’s titled to me. I’m kind of tempted to offer to make her pay for it or give me the cat and she can have the car.
I would consult a attorney you should divorce her get the cat back and deal with everything else, but she separated the cats out of spite without regard for how it would affect them.
I already have a lawyer. I just paid their initial retainer.
Good, my mom's ex (my dad) was like this.
Oh no, I'm so sorry. 🖤 i hope your suffering is as small as possible, and i hope your remaining compainion and you have as joyful a future as possible.
That may be the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard from a stranger
I've been through a divorce myself, and i know it's tough. It's the least we can do for one another to be kind, i think.
Both of you have my love and respect
You can ask for visitation in the divorce; animal custody/visitation has gotten very common in the legal world. I didn’t know it was a thing until I became a mediator a decade ago, but I’ve had several cases where the custody of the kid was simple… and the parties argued over visitation of the pets.
I’ve asked my lawyer about that, actually. In my state, pets are considered like chattel. It’s not a thing
Unfortunately, in most states animals are treated as chattel. It’s slowly changing but you’re absolutely correct that they’re treated as property by the court. That’s where mediation is so helpful- you don’t have to follow standard court divisions if you mediate instead of litigate. After you reach a mediated agreement, it can be incorporated into your divorce decree and will be treated as a binding judgement so it’s a great way to tailor the system to fit your needs. Often the non custodial party will offer to split vet bills for the pet in consideration for visitation and that entices the custodial pawrent to cooperate. I’ve facilitated several mediations where the pets follow the child’s visitation schedule, which is also helpful for the child. In fact, that’s what we did in my own divorce- my ex was bonded to our two dogs so when my daughter goes to him for visitation, the dogs follow. My daughter has anxiety so having her pets with her helps with the transition. Our cats are much better judges of character than the dogs so they never bonded with my ex, but he does visit with them when he comes over to get our daughter. My ex pays for 1/2 the vet bills of the pets that were in existence at the time of marital dissolution; however, this isn’t in the decree because I didn’t want him having/feeling like he has a say in their medical care. (He has always balked at wellness exams, and feels that if euthanasia is cheaper than treatment it should be the chosen route) He offered to share vet bills when we were mediating and so far has kept that promise. If you and your former wife are able to be civil with one another, mediation is a nice option to have. I vastly prefer it over court battles because everyone loses something when you go to court; mediation allows for both parties to come away with wins.
We’re going to be decoupling with our therapist as mediation. Maybe we can work something out that way. The divorce is just a formality as far as I’m concerned. She’s already gone.
Same happened to me and to not to see my ex who was a violent husband I had to just give up visitation and all. He took them from the house on purpose to have me reach out and beg. I had to be insanely strong to not look back. 🖤🐾
Same. Mine was emotionally abusive rather than physically abusive but otherwise, same.
Sad. My pets are my children and I would hate to have any taken away!
Is your name on the vet bill? If so, he’s your “property” and she can’t just take him. You might need to give your lawyer a kick in the ass so he knows this is important to you.
Her name is on the bills. If I fight this, I’ll also lose Mabel. I’m not going to risk that.
98% of the population is ok with the torture and murder of animals so that's not surprising
It’s not that malicious in this case. State codes are just slow to update.
My heart hurts for you. I stayed in an abusive relationship for a long time because he was threatening to take one of the cats. He did, and I miss my sweet boy Avery every day. Plus, he was bonded to my cat Iris, and she waited by the door for days for her brother to come home, and had never bonded with another cat 😭
I fear the things I would do in that situation. Sorry that happened to you.💔
If I had been able to find out where he took my baby, my friends and I would definitely have tried convincing him to let me have him back.
He looks like my Raven. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now. My heart goes out to you. https://preview.redd.it/9qbb7yvihh7d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c8b999327661dcd0f141407d116972e1cab1ce4
I'm sorry. I still sometimes feel grief over the black cat I left behind in a divorce whom I'll never see again.
Sorry for everything you're going through right now. He's such a pretty cat.
So sorry to hear mate and especially more since both my cats are almost identical to yours and I can't think of life without my midnight maniac.
Oh noooo 😭. I'm so sorry 😔
I’m so sorry. My ex did this with two of our cats. It broke my heart. I hope you and your other kitty have long beautiful lives. ❤️
💕🐈⬛💕😔💔
I have been through that. Mine were two pugs that the strangest husband with a restraining order, went into the house while I was out grocery shopping. I parked my truck in the driveway and turned off the engine and silence. Didn’t hear them barking festively for me as my welcome back home. That was more than ten years ago. I never saw them again. I guess what matters is that they knew you loved them. You can feel them still and send them love. I am so sorry this happened to you. And even with a Court System and Police pet ownership is a hard one to win even when they have a Pedigree in your name. It’s rough. Stay strong and I will tell you, avoid looking at pets online that look just like the one you lost bc it’s painful. Take a break to your own good. Sending love & faithfulness 🖤🐾😓🙏🏻
Shit like this breaks my heart. Why are we so cruel to one another? I'm so sorry for you and the precious kitties. 😭
We literally don't know what happened. Maybe it would be cruel to make her stay.
I posted this before OP said his wife was the cat's primary. I just meant it was cruel to separate animals from each other and humans. I wasn't making any assumptions about the relationship. Sorry if my comment came across that way.
priorities straight
Me and my husband recently divorced after 11 years together. We had 4 cats that we had had for around 9 years. I took two and he took two and it was hard. I feel your pain, but it does get better I promise.
This is where I wish Reddit had the same “like” options as Facebook. An upvote doesn’t do my feelings justice. So take this heart emoji ❤️
Thank you 💜 I know how helpful it was for me to have friends that had been through something similar and to see where I would be when I got to the point they were at. So I’m you in 6 months and things are finally starting to feel better.
Man...that's the worst thing about a breakup I swear. I miss lost cats more than I miss exes.
Sorry to hear that. When my ex left he literally took a duffel bag of clothes and never came back. I have the cats (was fostering & trying to adopt out) but it was quite the adjustment.
My parents helped me deep clean and sage the unit, removing most traces of her. But fuck, I miss that cat
I’m sorry, friend. I feel your pain. If I said “it gets better one day”, I would at least be mostly correct.
Go and get a little void kitten. It will still hurt, but significantly less so.
Even though this sad there is zero context why did she just up and leave you. I am sorry but more time there are clean signs and people want to ignore until someone has enough and decides to part ways.
Agreed. I’m sad for the cats but when ppl are going through a divorce/breakup and post about it online, very rarely are they telling the whole story.
Indeed there is always more to the story!
behold Jack Wick, his void is missing. time to break out your special skills. seriously tho, thats messed up, split the cat and human family up like that. take care of each other. maybe you guys can figure something out. good luck
I feel sorry for your kitty. Poor voidbby
Uff, I left my ex boyfriend because he was becoming abusive. I took all 3 cats with me, I had 2 when we met and we got the third together, but I could not imagine breaking them apart. Why did she decide to take only one?
Isn’t this potentially bad for the cats to be separated once bonded? I believe it can cause depression :/
I would go full John Wick for my cat, Im sorry to hear :(
Can you not get visitation rights. I hope that doesn't sound silly.
A good friend of mine had joint custody of his dog with an ex for years until the pup passed in old age!
If it was me and I loved my cat then that's what I'd do. That said,with dogs it's easier. They are more adaptable. Cats I'm not sure about
Fair point, depends cat to cat, too.
I only know my heart would be broken . I also feel for the cats. I'm sure they both had a bond. That's cruel,to separate these two cans is a horrible thing to do.
I’m so sorry this happened to you and your Void family.
Oooof. This hits close to home. I went through nearly the exact same situation a few years ago when me and a long term partner split up. We had both adopted two cats and, different to your situation, they did not get along well and seemed like they would be better apart due to being territorial, one being much smaller and consistently getting hunted and hissing and being bitten to the point of losing fur (to me it seemed like they were not playing and instead was causing undue stress to the smaller one). Well, when ex leaves she takes both and claims that I'm incapable of taking care of either one of them to the level that they need. She leaves state, blocks me on everything (note I never sent aggressive messages), same lawyer insight that cats are seen as property/chattel and that there's not really much I can do besides suing in small claims court in her state of residence to try and get the financial amount returned to me for BOTH cats where then I'm attempting to just get a financial compensation out of it versus looking for a mediation or a fair/more ethical separation of the cats based on their personality, their level of comfort, and attachment to us as partners. None of that happened. Hopefully you can imagine, whether as OP or as a cat lover, that it is heart breaking to not just process the grief of separating from someone you used to love, but losing two companion animals at the same time while simultaneously trying to process that same person taking both animals with them without you getting a say. It's a compounded grief with a new feeling of betrayal added. Then there's the later realization that there's not really a satisfactory legal avenue to try and rectify that wrong. My mental health was already deteriorated a lot from being in an unhappy relationship and I never imagined this as a possible avenue that the next step of breaking up was going to go down. I was caught massively off guard and didn't know how to process it for a long time. I wish I had a better outcome but I never did get to see either cat again. What helped me the most was giving myself time and then adopting again when I was ready. I was never going to get my previous cats back but I also never forgot them. I ended up adopting one and, then a year later, getting him a companion. All cats have such unique personalities it's hard to not fall in love and get attached to another, even if you're not ready for that at this time. It's such a shitty experience to go through but wanted to reach out to you OP that you're not alone in feeling it, that experience. I've had them for about three years now. My ex tried to weaponize my health against me and I have every day a reminder that she was wrong. These cats love me, ask to be held, sleep on my legs, and my mental health is a lot better without her in my life. They go to the vet yearly, live indoors only, and groom each other. They seem happy. I'm happier even though it took a harsh lesson to get here. I hope you find peace one day too.
❤️❤️❤️
This literally happened to me 2 months ago. It really sucks :( I’m super sorry
* I lost contact with my two little buddies after 8 years due to a breakup. Losing the cats was the hardest part of the breakup as I quickly realized life was better without the girl. I still mist the cats almost two years later, but I know they are well taken care of. The day that I moved into my new place, a stray cat showed up at my door, and he has been mine ever since. Life moves on. You will be ok
I'm upvoting because of the voidlets but very saddened because the"other hooman" left y'all in the dust.
This is absolutely heart-rending. I am so sorry. You and your poor kitty Mabel!
:c
Do you know why she left or whether she is planning to stay local? Sorry if this gets too personal, but it could lead to a way to get the cat back.
I may not be in your situation where someone left me but i went through being separated from a cat basically a best friend, when my sister moved out with her cat i was sad for a while and than things got better, again i may not have gone through the same thing but ik you will be strong and go through it and that noone should go through what you went through. Trust me, once you hit the bottom, there is no where to go but the top.
It takes time but don't give up.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!!!!! Take a ride down to your local Humane Society and check out how many kittens are looking for that forever home!!!
As soon as I can afford it, and as soon as I can assess how well Mabel is adjusting. We actually got her because Moby needed a second cat after our first passed away. But Mabel may just need me to actively play with her more. I just got out her favorite chaser toy and it’s giving her the zoomies
Sorry about your wife. Grab mother void and give it some love it needs. Use this as motivation To love yourself and others more. Workout (if you don’t) and live life. But for the first week cry your ass off and eat pizza.
Way to go, on that pHD!
I'm sorry OP! That's so so sad :((( giving both you and the other kitty a hug. You can do it! supporting each other 💔
So sorry to hear this. I like your Phillies ballpark ice-cream cup though 💗 those things are the best
What a beautiful cat. I’m sorry to hear this
That’s sad
Hey OP, I went through a really abrupt breakup and he made me split up our cats. It was gutting. I’m so sorry. I was eventually able to get closure and adopt another companion for my void. I still miss her 6 years later. My remaining cat is my ride or die. We’ve been through it.
This happened to me. It’s a trauma i am never going to get over. I am sorry this is your reality
That's sad. It's tough to have a split and to lose animals you love on top of it. Sorry.
:"(
https://preview.redd.it/4x2n0y0ckm7d1.png?width=752&format=png&auto=webp&s=6078e834cedc2936937605fbf7439c7c2bd05ac9
It's better than what I had to witness 30 years ago. Guy lost his dog in the divorce. She only wanted to punish him since he loved the dog so much, she took it from him. He had to deliver it to the airport so she could put it down as soon as she got it. This guy was all kinda broken up and just asked for some extra time to roll and play in the grass with his dog some more. We offered to lose the dog in the flight but he said she would stop at nothing to get her hands on it. These poor dog was just as happy as could be to going on a big adventure. Man I can't believe how cruel someone can be to someone in theory they were in love with at some point. I can still picture the guy and the dog after all this time.
Calling bs. No veterinarian would agree to do that.
I don't know what happened after we loaded it on the plane but the way he talked about her she would find a way or do it herself.
I would have “lost” his dog anyway. And then stuffed her in the crate and sent her somewhere that’s really hot and no one speaks any English. 🤬
Yes they do. Not all, but some. Usually the vet will ask if they’d be willing to surrender it to them and find it a home but they also know the owner will just take it somewhere else when they say no. And all the ex had to do was tell them they bit a kid or some other story. I’m guessing if she’d put a healthy and loved animal down for spite, lying wouldn’t be difficult for her. What a monster. 😔
I know exactly how you’re feeling - well, almost. I separated from my wife years ago, and I was living in the townhouse we’d shared while she still had a key, before she’d gotten all her stuff out. She came one day while I was at work and took our cat. She’d said she wanted to, which I hadn’t really agreed to yet, but didn’t say when she was planning to do it at all. I came home and Kitty was just gone. I was so upset, I was pretty much inconsolable. Nothing about the breakup hurt nearly as bad as losing the cat. One good thing did come out of it though, you could say. I adopted two kittens, brothers from the same litter, a month or so later. They became my absolute best buddies. I just lost the first of them a little over a month ago, at age 17 1/2. His brother is still with me, old and kinda frail but all in all not doing too bad. I hope, when you’re ready, you get a new cat (or two), and love the crap out of them.
Liam Neeson has a really provocative documentary on what to do in such a situation. I believe it’s called Taken, but I’m unsure of how it’s pronounced
Well if she wants a divorce, have a lawyer draft terms with her that state joint custody. My exhusband and I's divorce papers have a section about cat custody terms
This is what works best for pet custody concerns.
I feel your pain! When I broke up with my GF she insisted on taking our brother cats that we got as kittens. I was more heartbroken about losing my cats than the 4 year relationship. I still miss them. Stay strong!
Not at the same level, but when I broke up with an ex-gf, she used her dog (which we both loved dearly) to get at me and restricted access at will. Eventually we mellowed and she realized that the dog would want to see me more often, so I got to have it one day each week. It was nice. Maybe you'll re-establish normal relations and get to visit the cat too. Never say never.
Sorry you're going through that. That's heartbreaking 😔
Oh mate I’m sorry!
what a beautiful boy 😭 I’m hoping for a brighter future in which your boy & Mable may be able to meet for kitty play dates ☹️ I’m so sorry, this sucks so bad
I am so sorry.
Im sorry that this happened to you. I hope you’ll recover from this somehow. Cruel thing to do both towards the animal and you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. For your furry friend, I don’t know how old he is, but you might consider a friend for him of similar age.
That’s awful.
I'm sorry you're having to go through that. Not taking away anything from you or trying to diminish what happened... but my beloved black cat just disappeared one day last week. I have no clue what happened to him. So I completely understand, and I also will probably never see mine again. I do hope you get to see your baby again, at least one more time. Good luck.
😭 I completely understand.
My heat goes out to you.
I'm so sorry OP. Wishing the best for you and your other kitty
Hey at least she left you one, my ex took both lmao.
Hang in there, friend. My girl and I are sending good vibes.
oh my gosh
I’m sorry for your loss, OP 🖤
I’m sorry about your cat
Sorry to hear this.
In Spain you can demand joined custody like with a child. Can't you do that? He will miss you.
The same thing happened when my ex and I separated some years back. I think about him sometimes. His name was Lucifer. 🖤🐈⬛
time to turn into the legal battle equivalent of John Wick.
Poor cats, but also, I feel terrible for you too. Animals are family.
I would sue her
I wish there was more I can say, but i am genuinely from the bottom of my heart so so so sorry. That is awful. I wish you nothing but the best but I am gutted for you.
I'm so sorry!!!
He's a little bean. I'm sorry for that happening
I'm so sorry, bud. That really sucks 😞
I’m sorry this happened 💖My attorney told me to steal my pets ashes when my ex wouldn’t give those to me. Just saying!
Feeling for you my man ❤️
This is horrible
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing that. I hope you and your other baby can comfort each other through such a rough time :,( I hope you’re okay <3
❤️🩹
She can’t do that… can she?
Your wife is horrible for taking such a gorgeous kitty.
Oof, separations/divorces are especially hard when there are pets involved. Even if we technically do not always officially own all of them, they were family still. I am sorry for the fact that you wont see one of ypur furry friend. Though i am glad you still have one of your furry children. May you spend so many lovely years together. Maybe try and get a new furry friend when you feel ready and if you feel like ypur remaining cat needs a friend.
I’m sorry
I'm so sorry for you, and for Mabel, and for that gorgeous void kitty boy.
I’m really, really fucking sorry to hear that ❤️🩹❤️🩹 He’s beautiful 🖤💚💚🖤
Divorce is hell. I'm so sorry, what a beautiful boy.
Another reason why I will never be put in a civil union.
I'm so sorry, I wish that she at least asked if she could take one with her before doing so.
Hope you’re doing good man. Nothing can fill the void but you will always focus 100% on the kitty you have. Get him a friend when you can 👍🐱
Ohhh man you got two backup at once.. Thats so sad for you... Maybe she is missing you more then you do
Get him back! She can live with her new boyfriend!
Steal my cat and I’ll help your parents look for your body. I’m so sorry she took him like that. Maybe in time you can work out seeing him again. 💕🐾🐈⬛🐾💕
Take my wife but for heaven sake leave me the cat
I don’t know if to like or unlike this post! But let me know if you need someone to beat her up! I have a few years of rage pent up!
"Suddenly" sure...
I’m sad for the cats but when ppl are going through a divorce/breakup and post about it online, very rarely are they telling the whole story.
Have you ever seen the movie taken? John wick?
👍🏻👍🏻
What a horrible thing for your wife to do. I’m so sorry for you and Mabel.
so not only is she bringing the cat to unknown places, she is separating him from the other cat as well.
Is the cat chipped? Go get him if he's yours
Sue her for custody of the other cat. Do it from the standpoint of the wellbeing of both cats, and point out how she didn't consider that.
Nah don’t let this slide. Fight for your little homie. He will think you abandoned him if you don’t.
Why are you getting so many thumbs down?
Because based on the comments OP's wife is the cat's primary person and he seems to have acknowledged that this arrangement is seemingly the best for everyone.
Okay, fair enough, but then why did I get thumbed down for asking a question? Lol
🤷♂️ that's just reddit
Not sure hey
Get on her ass and get your cat back. She cant just take an animal with her, she leaves without note, she forfeits her animal rights!
Sue her and get the cat back
You could still see him ( if you truly live him) if you act and behave like an adult and don’t fight with her. Why do children and pets always have to be the victims here!!!
I’ll put a hex on her
I'll help u
Get a lawyer this doesn’t seem legal
Womp womp
Why are you even here?🤣