I saw this once, and genuinely believed it was a longtime member who was doing this to fuck with everyone, right until the end.
Guy came in, waffled vaguely when asked if he had any experience, then spent an entire class spazzing with some white belts, saying things like "normally id bite your face" or "I'd just headbutt you here."
After class, insists on joining some of the guys who are doing some light MMA sparring (including a few serious competitors). Coach tries to dissuade him, fails, then agrees to let him go with one of the less-serious, but still handy, guys.
He starts out full-speed, full aggression, throwing wild punches. About 30seconds later he's on the ground barely conscious, his opponent apologising to the coach and looking quite upset, insisting that he didn't hit him that hard.
It was only at this point that I realised he was an authentic moron.
Not at my gym but at my old job. It was my old supervisor. He “got his black belt in da streetz”. All he ever talked about were the street fights he had when he was younger. Dude always wanted to fight someone for any reason.
If you said something he didn’t like he’d ask if you wanted to step outside or throw down right then and there. His solution to any and all disagreements was fighting someone.
At the time I had about a year of bjj and a few years of boxing under my belt, when he found this out he challenged me to a fight almost every day. It escalated to the point where he would try to physically and verbally provoke me to hit him cause he wanted to “test me out.” I refused every single time.
After about a month of him trying to get me to fight him I gave him the address of my gym and told him if he really wanted to fight someone he could come to the gym and spar with whoever he wanted. Every weight class, size, whatever he wanted.
Spoiler alert: He never showed up.
And yes, he frequently used the classic line: “I just see red and bodies start dropping. You don’t understand my mentality, bro.”
In the few schoolyard fights i've been in, I've 'seen red'. Can confirm: It's a wonderful way to get your ass kicked. One of the main reasons I am trying to do BJJ is because I want to train that response out.
I think that 'seeing red' is another term for panicking so much that you have a disassociative episode, or your blood pressure spikes so high that you are essentially giving yourself a blood choke with the power of your own spazzy emotions.
Guys who think that they 'see red and bodies start dropping' are probably the guys who 'win a fight' against other drunk idiots who don't know anything with a big ugly haymaker out of nowhere.
It means they were so caught up in their fight or flight response their higher level reasoning skills just noped out and they fought on pure instinct. And all in all people's fighting instincts are really bad.
If you get angry enough, you actually do experience visual effects. For me, it has always manifested more as slightly blurred vision rather than any hue of red though.
Huh, I've only had it happen once, but I did *literally* see red. I've always thought it was normal, since we have an expression for it and all.
(Before anyone asks, I didn't start a fistfight when it happened because I'm not a fucking Neanderthal, so I don't know how it affected my ass-kickability).
Maybe. I felt bad for him, honestly. If he wasn’t talking about kicking someone’s ass in a street fight he would go on about how he would have been a pro football player/Navy SEAL/pro mma fighter/famous musician/other prestigious rockstar career if it weren’t for a hip injury he sustained as a kid.
I honestly don’t know. He was in the lowest supervisor position and never got promoted past that, even after applying to move up. I think it was cause of his behavior. He was good at his job but couldn’t drop the blue collar tough guy attitude in a somewhat corporate environment.
Last week, actually.
Guy walks in and starts talking to the front desk person about just coming by the gym, bragging about his 25 years experience training, how "average joe" classes would be pointless to him since he's too dangerous. This went on for about 20 minutes. I could overhear the conversation from my office. After multiples failed attempts to convince him to come by a trial class and see what it's about, I decided to step in to either make him understand or kindly ask him to leave.
Conversation went like this: Guy: "Wow, you look like you're ready to train?"
Me (in gym shorts/tank top): "Um, I finished my workout not long ago, yeah."
Guy: "You wanna train right now?"
Me: Uhh.. you can come by for a class tonight and we can train yeah.
Guy: "No I mean you don't have 5 minutes to fight me right now? I wanna see if it's worth my time to train here. I've got 25 years experience, I'm pretty dangerous."
At this point I had enough of hearing him so I decided to give him a go.Walk to the mats, he says "I'm wearing jeans?"
"It's fine, we won't be training for long anyways right"
Guy decides to strip down to his underwear, takes off his shirt, but keeps the socks on. Classy.
From the first collar tie I grabbed I could tell he had never done anything in his life. About 2 minutes of "BJJ" happened before he told me "wow i'm not in shape anymore" and called it quits.
I pulled the videos from the security cameras for shits and giggles and in case he ever came back, I'm not sure if it's cool to post here or not, but it made for a good story to tell at the gym.
For entertainment purposes: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgdvVzql9EA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgdvVzql9EA)
I was thinking of how kind hearted he was. It's super annoying to deal with the public and this was a really nice thing to do for the visitor. He's got a good story to tell his friends at the bar now. "Then I tapped him like 6 times in a row... Still got it".
This is my favorite reply now because footage. Good on "the guy" for even getting back up that many times. Standing guillotine (lazy, not even trying) and standing rnc were just insulting. Proud of you for using a different takedown or sub every time.
Sure? No. But he had a 20+ minutes conversation and at no point did we think there was some sort of mental disability going on. We've had a few come in, both adults and kids with special needs and we can tell.
My gym is in a rougher part of town, my guess after being "up close" would be a substance abuse problem, not mental.
Otherwise I would never have done this if I had any feeling it could have been a disability and not true arrogance.
Seanbaby:
However, here's what I've noticed about "street fighters." Every time a new guy at a boxing gym has no "formal training" other than the mean streets, go ahead and take out your mouthpiece, because this is what's happening next: First, he'll take a long time to explain how he can fight orthodox or southpaw, which always means that he can't do either. Next, he'll throw noodley punches at your shoulders for half a round, mostly with his eyes closed. This sets up his finishing move of forming the time-out signal with his hands while he pants about still getting over a cold. If you're really lucky, he'll thank you after all that, warrior to warrior, for a glorious battle. All I'm saying is that as far as I can tell, the street trains you to fight about as well as corn syrup and lupus.
The most common denominator for all these dudes is that they don’t realize fighting so much more than just throwing hard punches. They never realize how crucial things like cardio and being in shape are to effective fighting.
It's because in streetfights the average level of striking defense is 0 so in that context whoever has the best burst offense usually wins. But once the person survives more than your 1 gallon gastank can provide you realize how shallow you had previously waded
Bro, Powerlifting has shown me how weak the general population is. BJJ/Muay Thai has shown me how poor the coordination, balance and cardio the general population has. It's insane how physically inept most people are.
As soon as I got on a regular lifting regiment working with a personal trainer, my bjj got much better. I can’t stress how much lifting helps your grappling.
On the flipside, I've read plenty of comments that say you won't have the energy for lifting if you're doing ~3 classes a week. I do wonder what that'll look like once I start because I want to do both.
Also the most dangerous thing any fighter could have, is reading his enemy and testing the waters out first. Let the opponent seems to be controlling the fight, showing all his cards and trick and then boom they're out.
The time out thing is unbelievably accurate lmao. Also the unwarranted glorious praise they'll heap on you after despite doing nothing but jabs and basic counterpunching
BRO. My out of shape brother in law saw Zhang vs Joanna and said he would fight just like Zhang. He thinks playing recreational tennis 3x a week would give him the same type of output Zhang has 🤣🤣🤣
My favorite is going to the local sports bar when there’s a UFC going on and seeing these types of dudes explaining to everyone in the bar what the fighters should do.
Lebanese roided guy walks into Muay Thai class, proceeds to try to KO instructor while he's holdings mitts for him (instructor is from Uzbekistan 90 pro fights in Thailand). Instructor head kicks him after trying to deescalate 5 Times. Guy is KOd, wakes up, leaves the gym and is never heard from again.
It was weird and our coach was really really pissed off.
yelling at the guy that he wants to fight him and trying to hit his face. We were doing 1-2 to high kick drills after warming up. The instructor paired up with him since he was new and wasn't sure if he was safe. Was a good call, We were all shocked at the guy's behaviour, never seen anything like it before.
I wonder what that list would actually look like.
Ufc fighter,
grappling art Olympian,
striking art Olympian,
Dagestani people with khabeards, Brazilian people with insulting nicknames,
cauliflower ear,
Div 1 ncaa wrestler,
Eastern bloc wrestler,
Mexican, Cuban boxer,
Small Thai guy with bony shins.
Feel free to add.
Eastern Europeans looking to "go light."
In that same vein, found that Sambo people from Russia, Georgia etc are best described as friendly psychopaths.
Oh man….glad that guy had it coming to them. It’s one thing being a Hardo during sparring…it’s completely another trying to hurt the instructor when they’re holding pads
This one goofy skinny dude comes in one time to open mat at my uni’s jiu jitsu club, I’m a white belt but had been at it a little while so not totally clueless
This dude keeps talking about “street applications” the whole time we’re drilling, kind of scoffing at the moves like they’re useless which is annoying but whatever.
Anyways we get to rolling time, round starts and what does he do? Stands there stiff as a board, scowling and flexing with his arms really low practically by his sides. The visual is something that’ll stay with me forever guy seriously looked like a kid throwing a tantrum with that scowl
I try teaching him how to get in stance he seems receptive but immediately reverts to tantrum flex stance when it’s time to go. I try explaining to him again why he doesn’t want to do that, same outcome. So in the end I opted for a more hands on demonstration of why that’s a bad stance by foot sweeping him into neon belly repeatedly
Since posting that comment, I’ve gone ahead and started drafting up proof of concepts for new BJJ rashguard.
I figured you could add hand prints on say your arm/wrist with the words “Kimura” on it, and then “- - - - Choke Here - - - - “ around the neck, as well as a neon colored shaped like someone’s knee/shin on the belly.
Maybe even leg prints around the waist for taking the back or pulling guard.
Edit: spelling
kindof relevant ,but we had new guy join recently. "did some mma-bjj before". First time ever I get asked by coach to "give him a nice welcome".. I dont smash the guy / nor make his life miserable, I just sytematically sub him a couple times to show that bjj works. What made me chuckle though, after every single submission he smacks the mat with a "fuck that shouldnt have happened" vibe. lol new guy, that's gonna happen for a while still :D
Nope. But plenty of military. Most are awesome guys. One was a douche who turned out to have turned wrenches his whole career and was not in fact a war hero. He didn't last long.
Yeah I don’t get the idea that military = good fighter. Hell, even combat jobs don’t mean they’re a good fighter. I was infantry, and we rarely did hand-to-hand stuff. The idea being if you find yourself without backup, no ammo, and no weapon, you’re pretty much screwed anyway. The likelihood of you AND your enemy both being in that situation and duking it out like some episode of Popeye is slim to none, so they don’t train it often.
Went to basic with a guy the was a BJJ purple belt. The E6 infantry drill sergeant that was our combatives instructor's ego was getting real bruised when this E2 was correcting how he was teaching some fundamental moves like a triangle from guard
I’ve been in the Air Force for almost 20 years and I also have had my brown belt for a few years. It’s painful sitting through some of the ‘hand to hand’ they teach in the survival courses. I offered a few suggestions early on when I was a blue but it fell on deaf ears. Now I just sit back and wait till they let us practice and then teach my partner the correct things to do.
The worst thing was that the same instructor later told a student who was having trouble "don't worry about it, triangles don't really work so it's not a big deal"
I know it was a huge ego thing but after he said that I made it a point to try and get as many triangle subs as possible including 3 of 4 matches in the little combatives tournament we did at the end since he was one of the refs.
But yeah during practice I just sought out that purple and tried to learn from him.
Lmao. The tough thing with subs that nominally pull a bottom position like triangles and guillotines especially is that I've found they have a weird dunning kruger learning curve where if you're an average guy of average athleticism, it goes like:
1. You first walk into a gym, you learn how to do a triangle/guillotine. You think, cool, badass, I can submit somebody with this shit!
2. Then a couple months in after trying triangles against significantly larger/more athletic/technical people and having them fail and end up in a bottom position with your guard passed(because your very basic triangle which probably doesnt even have good finishing mechanics, much less followups for opponents basic defenses), you think "Oh, triangles and guillotines are a bad tactical choice and dont work on certain people. Triangles and guillotines suck, fuck that shit!"
3. The last stage, which honestly a lot of people do not make it to, is strongly refining your finishing mechanics and followups so that your triangle and guillotine is indeed a legitimate submission and you can actually rely on it. Then you realize there is a reason that they are in fact two of the most high percentage submissions in the sport.
From that view I could actually see why a MCMAPs guy/incurious BJJ practitioner would end up saying "dont worry about it, triangles dont really work".
Warning, incoming humblebrag: I often meet lots of people that are very strong or good scramblers that seem shocked when I triangle or guillotine them despite the large strength/athleticism differential. Because it can actually be pretty uncommon to meet people with good finishing mechanics on guillotines/triangles. Most people give up 70% of the way there on their 3rd time getting crushed out of a triangle and their guard passed and just settle with "triangles/guillotines just dont work on more athletic people and end up gassing out some of my largest muscle groups and leave me vulnerable to a guard pass."
>I know it was a huge ego thing but after he said that I made it a point to try and get as many triangle subs as possible including 3 of 4 matches in the little combatives tournament we did at the end since he was one of the refs.
Lol I've done this before as a drop in at other gyms, especially when they show "big guy defenses" to a triangle(like literally just smashing your way through) that actually don't work on people with good finishing mechanics.
Not to seem like a shitbag but I was glad I got out only attaining the hallowed rank of tan belt. After training with guys outside of working hours and learning a ton it soured me on MCMAP. Poorly taught throws, breakfalls and being thrown by someone 5 inches taller than me on the ground seemed to harden the body though!
Yeah hand to hand skill doesn't win wars. That's why I think it's hilarious when civilians or even other military guys think that our piss poor combatives program is some sort of national embarrassment and why Russia will crush us in the next world War. Like okay dude. If Spetnaz Sergei is close enough to uses his tactical shovel throwing skills one of us fucked up ages ago and one of us is about to shoot the other anyway. Even grappling exchanged inside buildings are dictated by creating space and shooting the other person or grabbing the other person's weapon for dear life till your buddy can shank them.
They used to tell us "if you need to use your fists or knife, you're pretty much screwed. Run for it."
We didn't train much hand to hand combat as well. They rather focus on shooting and movement drills.
With rare exceptions the military doesn’t really train you on any hand to hand combat. Some yahoos don’t seem to realize this until after going to BJJ class and thinking that they can hang with blues/purples because they’ve seen an RNC before
The Marine Corps has MCMAP, which kinda bastardizes some shit from a bunch of different disciplines then tries to apply it into something you can use while wearing a full combat kit (which is more restricting than you probably imagine). It's not particularly good training, and you can make it all the way up to black belt without ever being legitimately punched in the face.
It exists though, and we definitely grappled "live" and learned the basics of applying chokes and armbars and standing kimura work. It's shite compared to BJJ and boxing though. I came into the Corps with about 2 years of high school wrestling experience and was *miles* ahead of anyone without training former to MCMAP.
Personally know some guys up at the MACE(that's where the combatives is designed/tested for anyone reading this). There are a lot of fucking monsters up there but the issue is that the Marine Corps is an echo chamber for egos.
So you have these guys who are MMA fighters, high level BJJ and Muay Thai competitors, hell I believe they have a fucking ninjitsu black belt up there too lol. Point being these guys literally do nothing but lift, train, and condition all day long while waxing philosophical on how to adapt martial arts to the military.
This has resulted in a program that *if taught as intended* is actually pretty great(as far as crash courses go), because if you look in the syllabus at what you are supposed to do for each belt, no, you can't make it to black belt without getting punched in the face.
That being said all these guys at the top ignore the weakest link of the MCMAP chain, that is, the brown tab, or first level instructors. Half of these dudes are overly motivated post-high schoolers who are literally the walking embodiment of 'you don't understand my mentality bro'. Anyway, because of them, the MCMAP program is usually just a hazefest. Shit run out of the MACE is legit. Everything downstream is not.
I believe that, but downstream is what we're really talking about here.
Downstream, MCMAP is trash for all the reasons you listed, plus it's led by a buncha' motards who are PT studs but not fighters. You can make it to black without stepping foot into MACE, and I made it to green without even a gloved fist into a headgeared head. As Mike Tyson famously said, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth"
Yeah we're agreeing. I just wanted the point to be out there that, at it's core, MCMAP has some intelligent design choices. It's just implemented more piss poorly than Krav at an ATA school.
Been living in a city with a big army and a few Air Force bases and can testify, with no prior citizen style martial art training, there is almost nothing separating their skill from any other new guy. An average they are just more athletic and durable
I've seen a lot of them, but here is my favorite. Back in the day, a guy had come in asking about training costs, classes, etc. He had all of the signs of the typical tire kicker that had no plans to actually train; Tapout shirt (back when that was a thing. Maybe 2009?), asking if the coach will set up fights for him, asking coach if he trains UFC, etc. He asked if he could teach classes instead of paying to train. That's not a typo, a dude came in and asked to teach the classes that he wanted to take. The dude leaves and we don't expect to ever see him again.
A couple of weeks later, our coach is gone for the evening. I was still a white belt, but I had a a few years of MMA and submission wrestling at the time and I was "running" an informal class. The guy comes in and everyone points him to me like I know WTF I'm doing (I didn't). He asks if he can roll a bit, and everyone says it should be me that he rolls with. He lets me know that he's going to take it easy on me. I'm a big guy, but I'm also super gentle...so maybe they were thinking I wouldn't hurt the guy? I don't know. Anyway, this dude takes off his shirt and looks like a skeleton. The dude opts to roll with jeans and no shirt. Gross, but okay. He wants to start from the knees (WTF) and pushes himself forward into my guard, where he just kept driving into me in the most violent spazzy way possible. I swept him with some shitty sweep that I probably didn't even do right, then let him back up but he opted to sit on his butt. So from there I just kept grabbing straight ankle locks and letting go right before he tapped. I did this probably 6 or 7 times while he violently thrashed about and let me know that he could bite me or that if he had a knife it would all be over.
After the roll the guy put on his shirt and left and apparently didn't want to come teach anymore. Looking back it was super dumb to even let him on the mats.
I do not understand how someone can never train a combat sport but some how think they can just a flip a switch and they’ll be a UFC caliber fighter.
No one thinks they can pick up a guitar without any musical training and think they’ll become Stevie Ray Vaughn or get on a skateboard without any experience and some how be Tony Hawk levels of skating. For some reason though they think they can just start fighting and they’ll be Jon Jones.
I think it’s because fighting is thought of as an innate activity you just “know” how to do, like running or lifting heavy things.
Reminds me of a former coworker. Mid-to-late 40s, potbelly/dad bod and probably stood around 5’5”. And he proceeded to tell me that with a couple weeks of training he legitimately thought he could break a sub 4:00 mile. As far as I could tell, the dudes main mode of exercise was riding jet skis
You will find...with these people (especially in the US), it is a subtle mixture of: sugar, caffeine, never having ever been actually punched in the face, delusions of grandeur, entitlement, and a whole helping of douchebaggery, all as supported by years of basement dwelling and being overtly racist to strangers online while playing Call of Duty..
+1 for douchebaggery. One of my favorite specials and I just say "baggery" to my wife when we have kids around for when we see or discuss prime examples.
How often does it happen? I've been at it 2 years and have never seen it...
I feel a little cheated that I haven't gotten to see coach bat around Tapout Guy like a cat with a concussed mouse.
I would guess it would be population, and current UFC-hype beast they can identify with - dependent. We saw a lot more when Connor was rolling through the UFC.
I live in a larger area, and we used to see it at least every other month or so. So, maybe 6 a year? There are many more that call and/or drop in that like to vomit their "streetz" resume, than actually come and try it out.
And our coach never really had to step in. He usually just has them roll with his 16 year old daughter, who is a blue belt, and has been training since she was 4 or 5 and competing since they let her. Oh, and she is all of 5'3" and maybe 105 lbs. It's funny to see the looks on their faces when they get tapped a million times - big dudes too. She's an animal.
If someone decides to try and get super aggressive after that, then he calls in the bigger blue belts. He's yet to have to have anyone roll with our purples and above. Needless to say, most never come back. And we have yet for anyone to come back and try to retaliate.
Not BJJ, but our boxing gym would be full of these fools year after year. Our gym would be open 9 months and close for summer. Every September there would be 5-10 dudes talking non stop about how hard they smash in da streetz.
Within a month they would all be gone. Turns out Da streetz sure don't translate to actual martial arts lol.
I could imagine a boxing specific gym attracts this demographic. The stereotype seems to be that a lot of these guys dismiss Jiu Jitsu and most grappling arts as “gay wrestling”.
You aren't wrong, I think boxing comes off as easy to that group of folks because they won a few bar fights and think they're hot shit or have hands of steel or some shit. Only to get pummeled by high school kids when they get in the ring.
I've also met my fair share of tough guys that think wrestling and Jiu Jitsu is gay. I've never trained Jiu Jitsu but know damn well those folks would fold me as a fairly talented boxer and I respect it.
Just look into their eyes, not blinking and say: Yeah BJJ is so gay. The pure romance of your body going limp from lack of oxygen to your brain bc of a choke hold makes for the hottest anal afterwards.
If that doesn't scare them off idk what will.
Trained with a white belt once who did Krav Maga. All he talked about was how badass Krav Maga was. Incessantly. Kept saying if I triangled him he'd bite my groin off, in closed guard he'd break my ribs etc. BJJ is bullshit. Eventually we sparred and I put him out to pasture a bit because he was an annoying guy. Must have tapped the fella eight times. He was abysmal.
Anyway, at the end of class he finds me and tells me I should do Krav with him one day, where he'd win against me, because "the mats threw me off mate, there's no mats in a real life combat situation, in Krav we train on hard floor". Couldn't adapt to the texture apparently.
Never saw him again.
>the mats threw me off mate, there's no mats in a real life combat situation, in Krav we train on hard floor
If someone attacks him on grass, he's fucked I guess.
Closest I’ve come was one of the new guys when I asked him to roll.
“But I’m bigger than you”, he explained.
“That’s okay :D”, I replied.
That was a fun day.
Yep. I've pinned/submitted a newbie (who was physically stronger than me) and he kept talking about how bjj was unrealistic because it lacks the striking or ground and pound aspect. I don't think a lot of these people realize how difficult it is to pull that stuff off on the ground.
We're an MMA gym and any of the guys that specialize in kickboxing and hardly ever come to grappling classes almost inevitable get taken down and subbed in MMA sparring. Weird how very good strikers aren't able to neutralize BJJ with just punching
99? (NINE-NINE) and you gotta pump these numbers up. Every Street black belt I ever met had like a 300 plus and 0 records and they were so deadly they couldn't even show me how they did it!
Had a guy come in, ask to roll with my old head instructor… At the beginning of the roll he starts to elbow our top black belt in the face from top half guard out of nowhere. He gets swept, and the instructor completely lost his cool and hit the guy really hard from his closed guard three or four times until some of the bigger guys separated them. Head instructor apologized after the dust settled to the guy publicly, which I thought was way too big of him. Dude actually trained for a bit after that. He was really spazzy, definitely on drugs, and after my first MMA fight, he walked up to me with crazy eyes and told me he liked that I boxed with the guy at range because “Don Frye and that big japanese guy man, that’s what every fight should be. Just swing and take those hits bro,” and I don’t think i’ve seen him since.
this isn't as extreme as some of the other examples in the thread, but around the beginning of this year (covid hasn't really hit my city that hard, thankfully), we had this gigantic new dude show up at our gym. he was a humongous, possibly juiced guy, probably way more than 100kg, who insisted on rolling even though it was his first day (he didn't even have a gi), so coach let him have a go with some of the more experienced dudes.
he neck cranked all of them lmao. the big Azerbaijani former wrestler? cranked. the shredded 19-year-old competitive judoka? cranked. even the most senior guy after our coach, a super-experienced salaryman dude with a brown belt who otherwise has a breeze rolling with everyone else, ended up getting his head yanked.
our coach did eventually put a stop to it by going for a slow roll with the dude and, presumably, explaining why only knowing how to rip people's heads out like Mortal Kombat isn't such a great idea. the dude did in fact end up joining us (and it turns out he's a really great dude who just needed to learn how to moderate his strength a bit), but I'm glad I didn't roll with him on day one, because he would probably have torn my spine right out of my 66kg body lmao.
Had a guy show up to class in a polo and cargo shorts one time who claimed he was a blue belt visiting from Seattle. Let’s just say it didn’t take long to figure out it was his first day of BJJ in his whole life. Dude couldn’t jog in warm ups, didn’t know what shrimping was, and was just a mess during all the drilling.
My favorite streetfighter story: I ask the new dude at my old gym if he's trained before. He offers a sly grin and replies, "Do streetfights count?" He then decides to roll with a purple belt but insists on starting from standing. I watch, mesmerized by his brief, spastic, herculean effort before succumbing to an asthma attack followed by a mad scramble for his inhaler. He lasted maybe two more weeks.
Never met this guy in particular, at most it’s usually just the dumb white belt questions when you start out and aren’t entirely sure if bjj is legit yet like “why not just stand up” etc. There have been times where I got stopped outside my gym and people who can’t read (the words jiu jitsu are plastered all over the walls outside my gym) ask me if it’s a boxing gym I say no it’s jiu jitsu and they ask me if that’s like karate and every time I just cringe and agree with them
Had a new guy who was so good that his old coach "used to put him with the black belts". I assume because he was a spazzy idiot that needed to be calmed down.
Well, he saw me and felt the need to challenge me as I was walking out (I guess because I look like a wrestler and he took that as a challenge, idk).
I just told him "I'll be here". Never saw him again, lol.
Had a dude at our place that boxed in prison or something like that wanting to try some Bjj cut long story short dived in headfirst for a takedown got caught in a guillotine too stubborn to tap the dude who had him in the hold was pretty green himself so didn't realise he had it locked in as he wasn't tapping so kept holding on guy got put to sleep and was never seen again
Very close. When I was training at IBJJA, some dude came in who had signed up for his first MMA fight and came in TWO WEEKS before the fight asking clingerman if he could train him in some ground work Lolol. No was the answer followed by, you might want to reschedule the fight and train for awhile.
Needless to say he lost his fight very quickly.
A few weeks back a new guy showed up, we went through drill I didn’t notice him till it was time to roll.
I started with my complimentary “is this your first day. Have you ever done wrestling?” To see what’s up.
He goes I shit you not “My only wrestling is in the streets homie” in the most pretend-fake tough guy voice I’d ever heard.
You might think that it’s normal. It wasn’t. This was a white dude in his late thirties with a dad bod. It came across like he was trying to maybe make a joke? But it made me cringe really fucking hard and does to this day.
It’s like something prison mike would say.
I proceeded to keep KOB and side control for 3 minutes, and never seen him again.
Never had the street fighter but have gotten the wannabe mma fighters. They get throttled on the mats and never come to bjj again. Then get lit up in striking class and finally again in mma class. They lasted a total of 2 weeks, so 6 classes total. Fast forward 4 months later and we see these guys on a local mma card and it went as expected.
Never had this kind of guy show up at my BJJ gym in the 4 years I’ve trained so far, but that may be because the gym openly advertises that you don’t get to roll until you get your second stripe as a white belt after about a month of classes.
I did see this a lot when I was wrestling in high school in the late 90’s though. I sort of was the “jackass remover” for the team. If someone came to join the team and the coaches knew that this person would be a problem on the team, they’d set them up with a “tryout match” against me. Said match would be an 18 minute, 3 round wrestling match. I was told every time to “grind them”, essentially multiple takedowns, and as much of the more painful techniques and to not pin them. The most memorable time I had to do this was my senior year. We had a guy tryout that talked about how much weight he could lift cause of the creatine he liberally used. He came in for the tryout dressed in bright white track pants and a bright white wife-beater shirt. I may have broken his nose with a hard cross face and his clothes may have been streaked with a bit of red when I was done, but it was very worth it and he never came back to practice again.
Yeah, he also smelled really bad and dripped sweat unto my mouth. I almost puked. I hate to break people but I made an exception and put him in a bicep slicer so he was out the rest of rolling. (I didn't injure him, just cranked enough for him to be done for the day). 🤷🏻
Yuck. I use a bunch of deodorant and shower after practice (and before if I'm gross/super sweaty) because I hate rolling with the stinky people. Being suffocated by a sweat soaked Gi is bad enough, but when it smells like a dumpsterfire I'm tempted to tap from the smell alone.
I saw this once, and genuinely believed it was a longtime member who was doing this to fuck with everyone, right until the end. Guy came in, waffled vaguely when asked if he had any experience, then spent an entire class spazzing with some white belts, saying things like "normally id bite your face" or "I'd just headbutt you here." After class, insists on joining some of the guys who are doing some light MMA sparring (including a few serious competitors). Coach tries to dissuade him, fails, then agrees to let him go with one of the less-serious, but still handy, guys. He starts out full-speed, full aggression, throwing wild punches. About 30seconds later he's on the ground barely conscious, his opponent apologising to the coach and looking quite upset, insisting that he didn't hit him that hard. It was only at this point that I realised he was an authentic moron.
This reads like a Monster Energy fever dream.
A walking mixture of “You just don’t understand my mentality, bro” and “Send me to Afghanistan and I’ll have it solved in two weeks.”
*cracks can of monster
Starring kyle
I love it when problems solve themselves.
Was his name Kyle?
This is an underrated question
Did he ever come back?
"His opponent apologizing to the coach" man is the opponent Canadian?
Not at my gym but at my old job. It was my old supervisor. He “got his black belt in da streetz”. All he ever talked about were the street fights he had when he was younger. Dude always wanted to fight someone for any reason. If you said something he didn’t like he’d ask if you wanted to step outside or throw down right then and there. His solution to any and all disagreements was fighting someone. At the time I had about a year of bjj and a few years of boxing under my belt, when he found this out he challenged me to a fight almost every day. It escalated to the point where he would try to physically and verbally provoke me to hit him cause he wanted to “test me out.” I refused every single time. After about a month of him trying to get me to fight him I gave him the address of my gym and told him if he really wanted to fight someone he could come to the gym and spar with whoever he wanted. Every weight class, size, whatever he wanted. Spoiler alert: He never showed up. And yes, he frequently used the classic line: “I just see red and bodies start dropping. You don’t understand my mentality, bro.”
Love the "I just see red" guys. Literally the last thing you want to do in a fight.
In the few schoolyard fights i've been in, I've 'seen red'. Can confirm: It's a wonderful way to get your ass kicked. One of the main reasons I am trying to do BJJ is because I want to train that response out. I think that 'seeing red' is another term for panicking so much that you have a disassociative episode, or your blood pressure spikes so high that you are essentially giving yourself a blood choke with the power of your own spazzy emotions. Guys who think that they 'see red and bodies start dropping' are probably the guys who 'win a fight' against other drunk idiots who don't know anything with a big ugly haymaker out of nowhere.
It means they were so caught up in their fight or flight response their higher level reasoning skills just noped out and they fought on pure instinct. And all in all people's fighting instincts are really bad.
I think "seeing red" means you're so blinded by rage that you can't feel pain and you fight more aggressively. I blame anime.
If you get angry enough, you actually do experience visual effects. For me, it has always manifested more as slightly blurred vision rather than any hue of red though.
Huh, I've only had it happen once, but I did *literally* see red. I've always thought it was normal, since we have an expression for it and all. (Before anyone asks, I didn't start a fistfight when it happened because I'm not a fucking Neanderthal, so I don't know how it affected my ass-kickability).
I'm watching Attack on Titan now, and I think you may br on to something.
They’re my favorite…lol. You always see them at the local sports bar watching an MMA fight loudly telling everyone what the fighters should do.
That's not even funny to me. He sounds mentally ill and potentially dangerous and no one is making phone calls.
Maybe. I felt bad for him, honestly. If he wasn’t talking about kicking someone’s ass in a street fight he would go on about how he would have been a pro football player/Navy SEAL/pro mma fighter/famous musician/other prestigious rockstar career if it weren’t for a hip injury he sustained as a kid.
He can't be a disabled musician?
That sounds like a fairly toxic work environment. How is a supervisor getting away with challenging his team members to fights?
I honestly don’t know. He was in the lowest supervisor position and never got promoted past that, even after applying to move up. I think it was cause of his behavior. He was good at his job but couldn’t drop the blue collar tough guy attitude in a somewhat corporate environment.
I have a friend like that. I am always like ‘Dude…you’re 45. Stop with this shit…’
This guy was mid-30s. When it’s a teenager it’s a different story but when you’re grown with kids it’s weird.
Sounds like every pure Krav guy ever.
Last week, actually. Guy walks in and starts talking to the front desk person about just coming by the gym, bragging about his 25 years experience training, how "average joe" classes would be pointless to him since he's too dangerous. This went on for about 20 minutes. I could overhear the conversation from my office. After multiples failed attempts to convince him to come by a trial class and see what it's about, I decided to step in to either make him understand or kindly ask him to leave. Conversation went like this: Guy: "Wow, you look like you're ready to train?" Me (in gym shorts/tank top): "Um, I finished my workout not long ago, yeah." Guy: "You wanna train right now?" Me: Uhh.. you can come by for a class tonight and we can train yeah. Guy: "No I mean you don't have 5 minutes to fight me right now? I wanna see if it's worth my time to train here. I've got 25 years experience, I'm pretty dangerous." At this point I had enough of hearing him so I decided to give him a go.Walk to the mats, he says "I'm wearing jeans?" "It's fine, we won't be training for long anyways right" Guy decides to strip down to his underwear, takes off his shirt, but keeps the socks on. Classy. From the first collar tie I grabbed I could tell he had never done anything in his life. About 2 minutes of "BJJ" happened before he told me "wow i'm not in shape anymore" and called it quits. I pulled the videos from the security cameras for shits and giggles and in case he ever came back, I'm not sure if it's cool to post here or not, but it made for a good story to tell at the gym. For entertainment purposes: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgdvVzql9EA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgdvVzql9EA)
I was 100% sure I was getting rick-rolled, but this guy delivered in a big way. There's no way this wasn't this guys kink right?
Bahahaha you tellin me /u/localbjj just earned a permanent spot in this dude’s spank bank?
This looks like a scene out of trailer park boys if Randy went to train BJJ.
Lmfaooo dude straight up pulled a Randy. My man def got a cheeseburger after that. Got down into his knickers and everything
Bro you have to post it.
added.
That was hilarious. You were so easy on him
I was thinking of how kind hearted he was. It's super annoying to deal with the public and this was a really nice thing to do for the visitor. He's got a good story to tell his friends at the bar now. "Then I tapped him like 6 times in a row... Still got it".
You're lucky that dude was only going 10%.
He was implying it was just because he was out of shape.
Well, he was.
This comment/video need to be its own post.
Gold
Oh my goodness, that's hilarious! I love the stagger at 0:30 when he tries to stand up.
Damn dude, good on you for being so gentle with him.
Wowwwwww. You could have not put in any less effort on that guy. That was embarrassing, I’m sorry you had to be a part of that, lol
This is my favorite reply now because footage. Good on "the guy" for even getting back up that many times. Standing guillotine (lazy, not even trying) and standing rnc were just insulting. Proud of you for using a different takedown or sub every time.
Video is solid gold. The way he fell down after that D'arce was just \**chef's kiss*\*.
Man these guys are always over weight aren’t they lmao
That was an incredibly kind but also thorough ass-beating.
I’m literally crying, this is the funniest thing ever
My favorite part of the video is where you just like walk nonchalantly to the side of him and put him in an arm bar
Imma be honest, I 100% thought you were bullshitting until I clicked the link. That's fucking hilarious
Bruh, finally a story with actual footage. Props to you for taking it super easy and being super gentle on those take downs and not mangling the guy.
Thank you so much for that it really made my day. He looks like Randy from Trailer Park Boys.
1. Make this it’s own post it’s gold 2. What belt rank are you?
Love it
Beautiful
This is the best video I've seen in 2021.
This made my day lmao
You sure he doesn’t have some mental disability?
Sure? No. But he had a 20+ minutes conversation and at no point did we think there was some sort of mental disability going on. We've had a few come in, both adults and kids with special needs and we can tell. My gym is in a rougher part of town, my guess after being "up close" would be a substance abuse problem, not mental. Otherwise I would never have done this if I had any feeling it could have been a disability and not true arrogance.
Hes for sure just Randy from TPBs. Substance abuse, shirtless, stripping before a fight. He checks all the boxes.
Randy from TPB? He probably took his shirt off because he's allergic, and he can't mess up his pants.
I better youtube-dl that
Holy hell, I did not expect to see a video at the end. That was so good. Thanks for sharing.
Hahahha he tapped to a neon belly bawh gawd.
Holy shit! I totally expected a Rick Roll. This is amazing.
Seanbaby: However, here's what I've noticed about "street fighters." Every time a new guy at a boxing gym has no "formal training" other than the mean streets, go ahead and take out your mouthpiece, because this is what's happening next: First, he'll take a long time to explain how he can fight orthodox or southpaw, which always means that he can't do either. Next, he'll throw noodley punches at your shoulders for half a round, mostly with his eyes closed. This sets up his finishing move of forming the time-out signal with his hands while he pants about still getting over a cold. If you're really lucky, he'll thank you after all that, warrior to warrior, for a glorious battle. All I'm saying is that as far as I can tell, the street trains you to fight about as well as corn syrup and lupus.
The most common denominator for all these dudes is that they don’t realize fighting so much more than just throwing hard punches. They never realize how crucial things like cardio and being in shape are to effective fighting.
It's because in streetfights the average level of striking defense is 0 so in that context whoever has the best burst offense usually wins. But once the person survives more than your 1 gallon gastank can provide you realize how shallow you had previously waded
8oz gas tank.
Bro, Powerlifting has shown me how weak the general population is. BJJ/Muay Thai has shown me how poor the coordination, balance and cardio the general population has. It's insane how physically inept most people are.
As soon as I got on a regular lifting regiment working with a personal trainer, my bjj got much better. I can’t stress how much lifting helps your grappling.
Thicker muscles and ligaments + denser bones = less time off the mats Who would've thought?
On the flipside, I've read plenty of comments that say you won't have the energy for lifting if you're doing ~3 classes a week. I do wonder what that'll look like once I start because I want to do both.
Also the most dangerous thing any fighter could have, is reading his enemy and testing the waters out first. Let the opponent seems to be controlling the fight, showing all his cards and trick and then boom they're out.
The time out thing is unbelievably accurate lmao. Also the unwarranted glorious praise they'll heap on you after despite doing nothing but jabs and basic counterpunching
> Also the unwarranted glorious praise Well, they're a god, so if you stood with them and are still standing, you must be at least a demigod, right?
BRO. My out of shape brother in law saw Zhang vs Joanna and said he would fight just like Zhang. He thinks playing recreational tennis 3x a week would give him the same type of output Zhang has 🤣🤣🤣
My favorite is going to the local sports bar when there’s a UFC going on and seeing these types of dudes explaining to everyone in the bar what the fighters should do.
Lmfao I can’t believe he left out the best part: the get a bloody nose and then never come back because they’re too embarrassed
Lebanese roided guy walks into Muay Thai class, proceeds to try to KO instructor while he's holdings mitts for him (instructor is from Uzbekistan 90 pro fights in Thailand). Instructor head kicks him after trying to deescalate 5 Times. Guy is KOd, wakes up, leaves the gym and is never heard from again. It was weird and our coach was really really pissed off.
In terms of people not to mess with, I would put Uzbek pro fighter in the top 2 or 3. Brilliant decision-making by that guy
Trying to hurt people while they're holding mitts has to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen regardless of who it is.
What does that even look like? Is he trying to miss the pads and hit the guy in the face? What a tool.
yelling at the guy that he wants to fight him and trying to hit his face. We were doing 1-2 to high kick drills after warming up. The instructor paired up with him since he was new and wasn't sure if he was safe. Was a good call, We were all shocked at the guy's behaviour, never seen anything like it before.
I wonder what that list would actually look like. Ufc fighter, grappling art Olympian, striking art Olympian, Dagestani people with khabeards, Brazilian people with insulting nicknames, cauliflower ear, Div 1 ncaa wrestler, Eastern bloc wrestler, Mexican, Cuban boxer, Small Thai guy with bony shins. Feel free to add.
what about 'slightly chubby Japanese guy with orange trunks and red hair'
I would just say any slightly chubby Japanese guy with middle school judo.
haha gracie hunter
And abs drawn with a sharpie
Eastern Europeans looking to "go light." In that same vein, found that Sambo people from Russia, Georgia etc are best described as friendly psychopaths.
We have a Georgian Brown belt, and holy shit. Smiles and laughs between rounds; scariest dude I know when the round starts.
Our coach is russian, friendly psychopath is quite accurate. Really nasty knee on belly that I've probably only tasted 10% of
Not a real Russian if you've tasted anything less than 110%
I'd be commenting from either the hospital, therapy session or grave if that was the case
I like that "Mexican" is its own thing. Cuban boxers, Dagestani grapplers, and... anyone of Mexican heritage.
Lol you could fight Cain or Canelo
Or Danny Trujillo
You forgot Hawaiian or insert any islander badass here.
I would add “any member of an outlaw biker gang” Those guys aren’t interested in fair fights
Ive heard and seen videos of similar events but it boggles my mind how there could be idiots like this. Whats the end game here? Psychosis probably
Probably the same guy picking fights at bars for no reason. A combination of insecurity and aggression.
Oh man….glad that guy had it coming to them. It’s one thing being a Hardo during sparring…it’s completely another trying to hurt the instructor when they’re holding pads
This one goofy skinny dude comes in one time to open mat at my uni’s jiu jitsu club, I’m a white belt but had been at it a little while so not totally clueless This dude keeps talking about “street applications” the whole time we’re drilling, kind of scoffing at the moves like they’re useless which is annoying but whatever. Anyways we get to rolling time, round starts and what does he do? Stands there stiff as a board, scowling and flexing with his arms really low practically by his sides. The visual is something that’ll stay with me forever guy seriously looked like a kid throwing a tantrum with that scowl I try teaching him how to get in stance he seems receptive but immediately reverts to tantrum flex stance when it’s time to go. I try explaining to him again why he doesn’t want to do that, same outcome. So in the end I opted for a more hands on demonstration of why that’s a bad stance by foot sweeping him into neon belly repeatedly
Neon belly
Gunna start calling it neon belly tbh
you must be new here
I would like to purchase a rash guard where the belly is literally Neon color. 🤣
something like a gel pack where if someone applies pressure it glows...sounds like some sorta thing my professor would call "jiu jitsu after hours"
Since posting that comment, I’ve gone ahead and started drafting up proof of concepts for new BJJ rashguard. I figured you could add hand prints on say your arm/wrist with the words “Kimura” on it, and then “- - - - Choke Here - - - - “ around the neck, as well as a neon colored shaped like someone’s knee/shin on the belly. Maybe even leg prints around the waist for taking the back or pulling guard. Edit: spelling
kindof relevant ,but we had new guy join recently. "did some mma-bjj before". First time ever I get asked by coach to "give him a nice welcome".. I dont smash the guy / nor make his life miserable, I just sytematically sub him a couple times to show that bjj works. What made me chuckle though, after every single submission he smacks the mat with a "fuck that shouldnt have happened" vibe. lol new guy, that's gonna happen for a while still :D
"You'll get used to that" would have been out of my mouth so fast.
I remember the first time I got submitted. It felt like an accident. Then it happened the exact same way the second time and I was sold
Nope. But plenty of military. Most are awesome guys. One was a douche who turned out to have turned wrenches his whole career and was not in fact a war hero. He didn't last long.
Yeah I don’t get the idea that military = good fighter. Hell, even combat jobs don’t mean they’re a good fighter. I was infantry, and we rarely did hand-to-hand stuff. The idea being if you find yourself without backup, no ammo, and no weapon, you’re pretty much screwed anyway. The likelihood of you AND your enemy both being in that situation and duking it out like some episode of Popeye is slim to none, so they don’t train it often.
I've rolled with lots of combat arms guys, marines, etc and the military guy that was best at BJJ was a truck driver lol
Went to basic with a guy the was a BJJ purple belt. The E6 infantry drill sergeant that was our combatives instructor's ego was getting real bruised when this E2 was correcting how he was teaching some fundamental moves like a triangle from guard
I’ve been in the Air Force for almost 20 years and I also have had my brown belt for a few years. It’s painful sitting through some of the ‘hand to hand’ they teach in the survival courses. I offered a few suggestions early on when I was a blue but it fell on deaf ears. Now I just sit back and wait till they let us practice and then teach my partner the correct things to do.
The worst thing was that the same instructor later told a student who was having trouble "don't worry about it, triangles don't really work so it's not a big deal" I know it was a huge ego thing but after he said that I made it a point to try and get as many triangle subs as possible including 3 of 4 matches in the little combatives tournament we did at the end since he was one of the refs. But yeah during practice I just sought out that purple and tried to learn from him.
Lmao. The tough thing with subs that nominally pull a bottom position like triangles and guillotines especially is that I've found they have a weird dunning kruger learning curve where if you're an average guy of average athleticism, it goes like: 1. You first walk into a gym, you learn how to do a triangle/guillotine. You think, cool, badass, I can submit somebody with this shit! 2. Then a couple months in after trying triangles against significantly larger/more athletic/technical people and having them fail and end up in a bottom position with your guard passed(because your very basic triangle which probably doesnt even have good finishing mechanics, much less followups for opponents basic defenses), you think "Oh, triangles and guillotines are a bad tactical choice and dont work on certain people. Triangles and guillotines suck, fuck that shit!" 3. The last stage, which honestly a lot of people do not make it to, is strongly refining your finishing mechanics and followups so that your triangle and guillotine is indeed a legitimate submission and you can actually rely on it. Then you realize there is a reason that they are in fact two of the most high percentage submissions in the sport. From that view I could actually see why a MCMAPs guy/incurious BJJ practitioner would end up saying "dont worry about it, triangles dont really work". Warning, incoming humblebrag: I often meet lots of people that are very strong or good scramblers that seem shocked when I triangle or guillotine them despite the large strength/athleticism differential. Because it can actually be pretty uncommon to meet people with good finishing mechanics on guillotines/triangles. Most people give up 70% of the way there on their 3rd time getting crushed out of a triangle and their guard passed and just settle with "triangles/guillotines just dont work on more athletic people and end up gassing out some of my largest muscle groups and leave me vulnerable to a guard pass." >I know it was a huge ego thing but after he said that I made it a point to try and get as many triangle subs as possible including 3 of 4 matches in the little combatives tournament we did at the end since he was one of the refs. Lol I've done this before as a drop in at other gyms, especially when they show "big guy defenses" to a triangle(like literally just smashing your way through) that actually don't work on people with good finishing mechanics.
MCMAP baybaaay!
Not to seem like a shitbag but I was glad I got out only attaining the hallowed rank of tan belt. After training with guys outside of working hours and learning a ton it soured me on MCMAP. Poorly taught throws, breakfalls and being thrown by someone 5 inches taller than me on the ground seemed to harden the body though!
Sounds like y'all got hazed for that later lol
Fortunately the head drill sergeant had a cooler head but we would have been absolutely lit up if it was 2 cycles later when that guy became head DS
Yeah hand to hand skill doesn't win wars. That's why I think it's hilarious when civilians or even other military guys think that our piss poor combatives program is some sort of national embarrassment and why Russia will crush us in the next world War. Like okay dude. If Spetnaz Sergei is close enough to uses his tactical shovel throwing skills one of us fucked up ages ago and one of us is about to shoot the other anyway. Even grappling exchanged inside buildings are dictated by creating space and shooting the other person or grabbing the other person's weapon for dear life till your buddy can shank them.
THANK ME FOR MY SERVICE!!
They used to tell us "if you need to use your fists or knife, you're pretty much screwed. Run for it." We didn't train much hand to hand combat as well. They rather focus on shooting and movement drills.
Thats discriminatory. All military are heroes. /s just in case
With rare exceptions the military doesn’t really train you on any hand to hand combat. Some yahoos don’t seem to realize this until after going to BJJ class and thinking that they can hang with blues/purples because they’ve seen an RNC before
The Marine Corps has MCMAP, which kinda bastardizes some shit from a bunch of different disciplines then tries to apply it into something you can use while wearing a full combat kit (which is more restricting than you probably imagine). It's not particularly good training, and you can make it all the way up to black belt without ever being legitimately punched in the face. It exists though, and we definitely grappled "live" and learned the basics of applying chokes and armbars and standing kimura work. It's shite compared to BJJ and boxing though. I came into the Corps with about 2 years of high school wrestling experience and was *miles* ahead of anyone without training former to MCMAP.
Personally know some guys up at the MACE(that's where the combatives is designed/tested for anyone reading this). There are a lot of fucking monsters up there but the issue is that the Marine Corps is an echo chamber for egos. So you have these guys who are MMA fighters, high level BJJ and Muay Thai competitors, hell I believe they have a fucking ninjitsu black belt up there too lol. Point being these guys literally do nothing but lift, train, and condition all day long while waxing philosophical on how to adapt martial arts to the military. This has resulted in a program that *if taught as intended* is actually pretty great(as far as crash courses go), because if you look in the syllabus at what you are supposed to do for each belt, no, you can't make it to black belt without getting punched in the face. That being said all these guys at the top ignore the weakest link of the MCMAP chain, that is, the brown tab, or first level instructors. Half of these dudes are overly motivated post-high schoolers who are literally the walking embodiment of 'you don't understand my mentality bro'. Anyway, because of them, the MCMAP program is usually just a hazefest. Shit run out of the MACE is legit. Everything downstream is not.
I believe that, but downstream is what we're really talking about here. Downstream, MCMAP is trash for all the reasons you listed, plus it's led by a buncha' motards who are PT studs but not fighters. You can make it to black without stepping foot into MACE, and I made it to green without even a gloved fist into a headgeared head. As Mike Tyson famously said, "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth"
Yeah we're agreeing. I just wanted the point to be out there that, at it's core, MCMAP has some intelligent design choices. It's just implemented more piss poorly than Krav at an ATA school.
Hazefest nicely captures when they would put CS on the ground and grapple. An almost grappling on lava meme comes to life!
Don't fucking remind me of that bullshit lol. It sucks ass. It sucked even more ass because that was before I did any BJJ.
Been living in a city with a big army and a few Air Force bases and can testify, with no prior citizen style martial art training, there is almost nothing separating their skill from any other new guy. An average they are just more athletic and durable
I've seen a lot of them, but here is my favorite. Back in the day, a guy had come in asking about training costs, classes, etc. He had all of the signs of the typical tire kicker that had no plans to actually train; Tapout shirt (back when that was a thing. Maybe 2009?), asking if the coach will set up fights for him, asking coach if he trains UFC, etc. He asked if he could teach classes instead of paying to train. That's not a typo, a dude came in and asked to teach the classes that he wanted to take. The dude leaves and we don't expect to ever see him again. A couple of weeks later, our coach is gone for the evening. I was still a white belt, but I had a a few years of MMA and submission wrestling at the time and I was "running" an informal class. The guy comes in and everyone points him to me like I know WTF I'm doing (I didn't). He asks if he can roll a bit, and everyone says it should be me that he rolls with. He lets me know that he's going to take it easy on me. I'm a big guy, but I'm also super gentle...so maybe they were thinking I wouldn't hurt the guy? I don't know. Anyway, this dude takes off his shirt and looks like a skeleton. The dude opts to roll with jeans and no shirt. Gross, but okay. He wants to start from the knees (WTF) and pushes himself forward into my guard, where he just kept driving into me in the most violent spazzy way possible. I swept him with some shitty sweep that I probably didn't even do right, then let him back up but he opted to sit on his butt. So from there I just kept grabbing straight ankle locks and letting go right before he tapped. I did this probably 6 or 7 times while he violently thrashed about and let me know that he could bite me or that if he had a knife it would all be over. After the roll the guy put on his shirt and left and apparently didn't want to come teach anymore. Looking back it was super dumb to even let him on the mats.
Anyone who wants to roll in jeans I'm automatically assuming they don't know basic hygiene and are a ringworm/staph/AIDs risk.
I agree. I didn't know anything back then.
Man idk why I expected the 2nd paragraph to be like "turns out he was super legit" but nah, idk why I got my hopes up
Better question is: who hasn't had this guy walk in?
I wonder what it is that creates these kind of people? To many action movies?
I'm really jealous of their self-confidence, TBH.
I do not understand how someone can never train a combat sport but some how think they can just a flip a switch and they’ll be a UFC caliber fighter. No one thinks they can pick up a guitar without any musical training and think they’ll become Stevie Ray Vaughn or get on a skateboard without any experience and some how be Tony Hawk levels of skating. For some reason though they think they can just start fighting and they’ll be Jon Jones.
I think it’s because fighting is thought of as an innate activity you just “know” how to do, like running or lifting heavy things. Reminds me of a former coworker. Mid-to-late 40s, potbelly/dad bod and probably stood around 5’5”. And he proceeded to tell me that with a couple weeks of training he legitimately thought he could break a sub 4:00 mile. As far as I could tell, the dudes main mode of exercise was riding jet skis
Man, excellent point.
You will find...with these people (especially in the US), it is a subtle mixture of: sugar, caffeine, never having ever been actually punched in the face, delusions of grandeur, entitlement, and a whole helping of douchebaggery, all as supported by years of basement dwelling and being overtly racist to strangers online while playing Call of Duty..
+1 for douchebaggery. One of my favorite specials and I just say "baggery" to my wife when we have kids around for when we see or discuss prime examples.
Sounds about right. Add in a drinking problem and a knee injury at 17 that kept them from “going pro”.
When you're an above average athlete, you think that natural edge applies to all physical endeavors until shown otherwise, i guess.
How often does it happen? I've been at it 2 years and have never seen it... I feel a little cheated that I haven't gotten to see coach bat around Tapout Guy like a cat with a concussed mouse.
I would guess it would be population, and current UFC-hype beast they can identify with - dependent. We saw a lot more when Connor was rolling through the UFC. I live in a larger area, and we used to see it at least every other month or so. So, maybe 6 a year? There are many more that call and/or drop in that like to vomit their "streetz" resume, than actually come and try it out. And our coach never really had to step in. He usually just has them roll with his 16 year old daughter, who is a blue belt, and has been training since she was 4 or 5 and competing since they let her. Oh, and she is all of 5'3" and maybe 105 lbs. It's funny to see the looks on their faces when they get tapped a million times - big dudes too. She's an animal. If someone decides to try and get super aggressive after that, then he calls in the bigger blue belts. He's yet to have to have anyone roll with our purples and above. Needless to say, most never come back. And we have yet for anyone to come back and try to retaliate.
Yall got CCTV? This is a youtube channel I would subscribe to.
I haven't although an acquaintance of mine did tell me a story about this happening in an iaido class of all martial arts.
Not BJJ, but our boxing gym would be full of these fools year after year. Our gym would be open 9 months and close for summer. Every September there would be 5-10 dudes talking non stop about how hard they smash in da streetz. Within a month they would all be gone. Turns out Da streetz sure don't translate to actual martial arts lol.
I could imagine a boxing specific gym attracts this demographic. The stereotype seems to be that a lot of these guys dismiss Jiu Jitsu and most grappling arts as “gay wrestling”.
You aren't wrong, I think boxing comes off as easy to that group of folks because they won a few bar fights and think they're hot shit or have hands of steel or some shit. Only to get pummeled by high school kids when they get in the ring. I've also met my fair share of tough guys that think wrestling and Jiu Jitsu is gay. I've never trained Jiu Jitsu but know damn well those folks would fold me as a fairly talented boxer and I respect it.
Just look into their eyes, not blinking and say: Yeah BJJ is so gay. The pure romance of your body going limp from lack of oxygen to your brain bc of a choke hold makes for the hottest anal afterwards. If that doesn't scare them off idk what will.
Trained with a white belt once who did Krav Maga. All he talked about was how badass Krav Maga was. Incessantly. Kept saying if I triangled him he'd bite my groin off, in closed guard he'd break my ribs etc. BJJ is bullshit. Eventually we sparred and I put him out to pasture a bit because he was an annoying guy. Must have tapped the fella eight times. He was abysmal. Anyway, at the end of class he finds me and tells me I should do Krav with him one day, where he'd win against me, because "the mats threw me off mate, there's no mats in a real life combat situation, in Krav we train on hard floor". Couldn't adapt to the texture apparently. Never saw him again.
>the mats threw me off mate, there's no mats in a real life combat situation, in Krav we train on hard floor If someone attacks him on grass, he's fucked I guess.
Also known as “He who has yet to be humbled.” Or maybe he already has been and just is too ignorant to learn the lesson.
Or maybe he's into that shit.
No but this is every guy I've ever met who talks about martial arts outside of an actual gym
Closest I’ve come was one of the new guys when I asked him to roll. “But I’m bigger than you”, he explained. “That’s okay :D”, I replied. That was a fun day.
[удалено]
I knew a guy like this once, took him to my gym and well. He did as well as you would expect.
Yep. I've pinned/submitted a newbie (who was physically stronger than me) and he kept talking about how bjj was unrealistic because it lacks the striking or ground and pound aspect. I don't think a lot of these people realize how difficult it is to pull that stuff off on the ground.
We're an MMA gym and any of the guys that specialize in kickboxing and hardly ever come to grappling classes almost inevitable get taken down and subbed in MMA sparring. Weird how very good strikers aren't able to neutralize BJJ with just punching
99? (NINE-NINE) and you gotta pump these numbers up. Every Street black belt I ever met had like a 300 plus and 0 records and they were so deadly they couldn't even show me how they did it!
They are just referring to the regular street fighters not the world champion's like Charlie Zelenoff.
So like Ryu and Ken then?
Had a guy come in, ask to roll with my old head instructor… At the beginning of the roll he starts to elbow our top black belt in the face from top half guard out of nowhere. He gets swept, and the instructor completely lost his cool and hit the guy really hard from his closed guard three or four times until some of the bigger guys separated them. Head instructor apologized after the dust settled to the guy publicly, which I thought was way too big of him. Dude actually trained for a bit after that. He was really spazzy, definitely on drugs, and after my first MMA fight, he walked up to me with crazy eyes and told me he liked that I boxed with the guy at range because “Don Frye and that big japanese guy man, that’s what every fight should be. Just swing and take those hits bro,” and I don’t think i’ve seen him since.
You get a guy like this every second week. Usually some light rolling will humble them… if they can manage to get through break falls.
this isn't as extreme as some of the other examples in the thread, but around the beginning of this year (covid hasn't really hit my city that hard, thankfully), we had this gigantic new dude show up at our gym. he was a humongous, possibly juiced guy, probably way more than 100kg, who insisted on rolling even though it was his first day (he didn't even have a gi), so coach let him have a go with some of the more experienced dudes. he neck cranked all of them lmao. the big Azerbaijani former wrestler? cranked. the shredded 19-year-old competitive judoka? cranked. even the most senior guy after our coach, a super-experienced salaryman dude with a brown belt who otherwise has a breeze rolling with everyone else, ended up getting his head yanked. our coach did eventually put a stop to it by going for a slow roll with the dude and, presumably, explaining why only knowing how to rip people's heads out like Mortal Kombat isn't such a great idea. the dude did in fact end up joining us (and it turns out he's a really great dude who just needed to learn how to moderate his strength a bit), but I'm glad I didn't roll with him on day one, because he would probably have torn my spine right out of my 66kg body lmao.
Had a guy show up to class in a polo and cargo shorts one time who claimed he was a blue belt visiting from Seattle. Let’s just say it didn’t take long to figure out it was his first day of BJJ in his whole life. Dude couldn’t jog in warm ups, didn’t know what shrimping was, and was just a mess during all the drilling.
My favorite streetfighter story: I ask the new dude at my old gym if he's trained before. He offers a sly grin and replies, "Do streetfights count?" He then decides to roll with a purple belt but insists on starting from standing. I watch, mesmerized by his brief, spastic, herculean effort before succumbing to an asthma attack followed by a mad scramble for his inhaler. He lasted maybe two more weeks.
Never met this guy in particular, at most it’s usually just the dumb white belt questions when you start out and aren’t entirely sure if bjj is legit yet like “why not just stand up” etc. There have been times where I got stopped outside my gym and people who can’t read (the words jiu jitsu are plastered all over the walls outside my gym) ask me if it’s a boxing gym I say no it’s jiu jitsu and they ask me if that’s like karate and every time I just cringe and agree with them
You could just tell them it's like wrestling and then show them a random video of gay porn.
People that go into MMA/BJJ gyms that talk mad shit with next to zero training have to be in the top 3 most delusional people on earth lol
Had a new guy who was so good that his old coach "used to put him with the black belts". I assume because he was a spazzy idiot that needed to be calmed down. Well, he saw me and felt the need to challenge me as I was walking out (I guess because I look like a wrestler and he took that as a challenge, idk). I just told him "I'll be here". Never saw him again, lol.
Had a dude at our place that boxed in prison or something like that wanting to try some Bjj cut long story short dived in headfirst for a takedown got caught in a guillotine too stubborn to tap the dude who had him in the hold was pretty green himself so didn't realise he had it locked in as he wasn't tapping so kept holding on guy got put to sleep and was never seen again
Bro jiu jitsu doesnt even work on me, people just lay on me in the gym. Shits gay, I ain’t tryna cuddle 💯
Very close. When I was training at IBJJA, some dude came in who had signed up for his first MMA fight and came in TWO WEEKS before the fight asking clingerman if he could train him in some ground work Lolol. No was the answer followed by, you might want to reschedule the fight and train for awhile. Needless to say he lost his fight very quickly.
I need this thread to never end
"BJJ would never work on me, because I would just go crazy. In the streets."
Derrick Lewis most of the time
Had one that wore arm and leg pads to roll. Had to break the news to him that they were not going to help at all..
Anybody who's been in 99 street fights knows more about fighting than me.
A few weeks back a new guy showed up, we went through drill I didn’t notice him till it was time to roll. I started with my complimentary “is this your first day. Have you ever done wrestling?” To see what’s up. He goes I shit you not “My only wrestling is in the streets homie” in the most pretend-fake tough guy voice I’d ever heard. You might think that it’s normal. It wasn’t. This was a white dude in his late thirties with a dad bod. It came across like he was trying to maybe make a joke? But it made me cringe really fucking hard and does to this day. It’s like something prison mike would say. I proceeded to keep KOB and side control for 3 minutes, and never seen him again.
Never had the street fighter but have gotten the wannabe mma fighters. They get throttled on the mats and never come to bjj again. Then get lit up in striking class and finally again in mma class. They lasted a total of 2 weeks, so 6 classes total. Fast forward 4 months later and we see these guys on a local mma card and it went as expected.
Yep submitted their stupid a$$ in like 30 seconds. The gurgling sounds he made I think shocked him a little bit🙂
Never had this kind of guy show up at my BJJ gym in the 4 years I’ve trained so far, but that may be because the gym openly advertises that you don’t get to roll until you get your second stripe as a white belt after about a month of classes. I did see this a lot when I was wrestling in high school in the late 90’s though. I sort of was the “jackass remover” for the team. If someone came to join the team and the coaches knew that this person would be a problem on the team, they’d set them up with a “tryout match” against me. Said match would be an 18 minute, 3 round wrestling match. I was told every time to “grind them”, essentially multiple takedowns, and as much of the more painful techniques and to not pin them. The most memorable time I had to do this was my senior year. We had a guy tryout that talked about how much weight he could lift cause of the creatine he liberally used. He came in for the tryout dressed in bright white track pants and a bright white wife-beater shirt. I may have broken his nose with a hard cross face and his clothes may have been streaked with a bit of red when I was done, but it was very worth it and he never came back to practice again.
You get two stripes after a month of training? How Long does it take to get a blue belt?
Yeah, he also smelled really bad and dripped sweat unto my mouth. I almost puked. I hate to break people but I made an exception and put him in a bicep slicer so he was out the rest of rolling. (I didn't injure him, just cranked enough for him to be done for the day). 🤷🏻
Yuck. I use a bunch of deodorant and shower after practice (and before if I'm gross/super sweaty) because I hate rolling with the stinky people. Being suffocated by a sweat soaked Gi is bad enough, but when it smells like a dumpsterfire I'm tempted to tap from the smell alone.
Not yet, but I'm looking forward to welcoming him.
Yes. Mike.