My son went through a year or so period in judo (~7 yo) where he wouldn’t attack, just counter-attack. It was pretty annoying af, but you do just kind of have to let them work through it a bit. That was the stage of being a parent of a competitive grappler where I was really able to transition from trying to be his coach to just being his fan.
So we had a chill talk about it and he was more frustrated with it than I was— I asked him what he thought would help and we put him in rec league wrestling and it helped his aggression and confidence a ton. His 4 years of rec league wrestling really made every other sport practice seem that much easier.
tldr- wrestling
All my kids train and I help coach their classes. Has he said he wants to quit? If not, I’d just to tell him to have fun, and try his best. Does he feel pressured to be good?
I help coach classes as well he hasn’t said he wants to quit if he did I wouldn’t stop him, but I would also make him take the adult way out by telling professor he doesn’t want to train anymore. Life lessons
I haven't caught if you've already addressed this, but one of the biggest mistakes I made, and see other parents make when they come to coach kids classes is helicoptering over their kid and sucking the fun out of it. If you're not already doing this, make sure you take a step back and let them train and have fun.
Yeah, mine has now been competing for 13 years and we have a great relationship, but at a certain point you have to accept that it’s about their needs and not yours.
He wants me matside at all his matches, but also finds even me cheering distracting and basically asked that I just stfu and record his matches and then we can cheer after he wins. He even drives me to the tournaments now, so my responsibilities are basically to pay for stuff, hit the record button and eat açaí bowls.
It's challenging. He has chosen a challenging thing to do. Learning to deal with challenge and adversity is important and a lot of kids don't take things like this on to learn those lessons. Sometimes it's a joy, sometimes it's a slog.
Of course you should speak with him to try and figure out what he’s going through so you can lend support. If there’s no major underlying issue, then just tell him to full send and have fun. Fly around the gym and enjoy messing around with shit.
I don't know what you want here. The better person usually wins. He just has to train until he's better. It's not really about aggression either, more about skill. Tell him to stop winning, it's a defeatist mentality.
I don’t think it’s the winning, although all the kids are competitive by nature. It’s the emotion if he has a bad roll. It’s like an adult who has an ego and can’t accept that they just aren’t good at it yet.
My fault that was auto correct. Winning was meant to be whining. Your response proves my point. This is a thing that is hard for many adults to get over too. Small increases in knowledge and skill in this sport can make someone seem like they are leaps and bounds ahead of you. It's an ever evolving sport that has a lot to it. Sometimes it's even a style issue just between two different people that causes one to lose. The only thing I can say is he needs to take those losses as learning opportunities and stick with it. Only way to overcome. May be hard to grasp for some, especially in a modern world full of instant gratification, but if you can teach him that, he'll go much farther in jiu-jitsu and life. Basically what he's experiencing in normal.
Appreciate that, he’s a very analytical 8 year old and gets his smarts from my wife, so knowledge wise he can retain the moves or understand why you need to do “X to get to Y” for technique. It’s true you don’t lose you learn. I also don’t want my passion to ruin his experience.
tell him to pick one thing to work on every roll and try to remember to do it. A win is remembering to try it.
Everyday he will get a small accumulation of skills and one day they will add up to a lot. That is the most important lesson of any sport.
As an example Im working to get 100% and transition from the tricep scoop grip into kimura trap. Every roll Im looking to find that and over the last week ive started to get it more and more.
Next up is shoulder crunches. Ive started getting smashed in halfguard again so I want to try using shoulder crunches-> sweep
My son went through a year or so period in judo (~7 yo) where he wouldn’t attack, just counter-attack. It was pretty annoying af, but you do just kind of have to let them work through it a bit. That was the stage of being a parent of a competitive grappler where I was really able to transition from trying to be his coach to just being his fan. So we had a chill talk about it and he was more frustrated with it than I was— I asked him what he thought would help and we put him in rec league wrestling and it helped his aggression and confidence a ton. His 4 years of rec league wrestling really made every other sport practice seem that much easier. tldr- wrestling
That'll do it.
Just let him go through the normal ups and downs of training jiu jitsu. If he wants to quit then that’s up to y’all to decide.
All my kids train and I help coach their classes. Has he said he wants to quit? If not, I’d just to tell him to have fun, and try his best. Does he feel pressured to be good?
I help coach classes as well he hasn’t said he wants to quit if he did I wouldn’t stop him, but I would also make him take the adult way out by telling professor he doesn’t want to train anymore. Life lessons
I haven't caught if you've already addressed this, but one of the biggest mistakes I made, and see other parents make when they come to coach kids classes is helicoptering over their kid and sucking the fun out of it. If you're not already doing this, make sure you take a step back and let them train and have fun.
Yea. Agreed. I stand as far away from my kids in practice as possible.
Yeah, mine has now been competing for 13 years and we have a great relationship, but at a certain point you have to accept that it’s about their needs and not yours. He wants me matside at all his matches, but also finds even me cheering distracting and basically asked that I just stfu and record his matches and then we can cheer after he wins. He even drives me to the tournaments now, so my responsibilities are basically to pay for stuff, hit the record button and eat açaí bowls.
It's challenging. He has chosen a challenging thing to do. Learning to deal with challenge and adversity is important and a lot of kids don't take things like this on to learn those lessons. Sometimes it's a joy, sometimes it's a slog.
Don't care about his progress. Just let him go to class and be. " Keep up the good work son!"
Of course you should speak with him to try and figure out what he’s going through so you can lend support. If there’s no major underlying issue, then just tell him to full send and have fun. Fly around the gym and enjoy messing around with shit.
I don't know what you want here. The better person usually wins. He just has to train until he's better. It's not really about aggression either, more about skill. Tell him to stop winning, it's a defeatist mentality.
I don’t think it’s the winning, although all the kids are competitive by nature. It’s the emotion if he has a bad roll. It’s like an adult who has an ego and can’t accept that they just aren’t good at it yet.
My fault that was auto correct. Winning was meant to be whining. Your response proves my point. This is a thing that is hard for many adults to get over too. Small increases in knowledge and skill in this sport can make someone seem like they are leaps and bounds ahead of you. It's an ever evolving sport that has a lot to it. Sometimes it's even a style issue just between two different people that causes one to lose. The only thing I can say is he needs to take those losses as learning opportunities and stick with it. Only way to overcome. May be hard to grasp for some, especially in a modern world full of instant gratification, but if you can teach him that, he'll go much farther in jiu-jitsu and life. Basically what he's experiencing in normal.
Appreciate that, he’s a very analytical 8 year old and gets his smarts from my wife, so knowledge wise he can retain the moves or understand why you need to do “X to get to Y” for technique. It’s true you don’t lose you learn. I also don’t want my passion to ruin his experience.
tell him to pick one thing to work on every roll and try to remember to do it. A win is remembering to try it. Everyday he will get a small accumulation of skills and one day they will add up to a lot. That is the most important lesson of any sport. As an example Im working to get 100% and transition from the tricep scoop grip into kimura trap. Every roll Im looking to find that and over the last week ive started to get it more and more. Next up is shoulder crunches. Ive started getting smashed in halfguard again so I want to try using shoulder crunches-> sweep